8 years ago on the 4th of Feburary my world was torn to pieces when my precious father decided he wasn’t worth it, and commited suicide. It tore me to pieces seeing you lie there non responsive, the life was drained out of you. It ruined my perspective on the world in ways a little girl should never know so young just how shitty the world is, nothing has healed in me, and it breaks my heart knowing I wasn’t enough of a reason to stay alive and watch his baby grow up, it’s been hard daddy you know I had a boy leaving bruises on my skin and scars on my heart and I needed you there, I wanted you to protect me. What would you think of me now? Would you be proud of me, I had a boy tell me it was my fault your not here and he said it for so long I believe it now, if I wasn’t born, and I want so desperately for you to hold me tight and tell me this has nothing to do with me and if anything I was why you held on for so long. But that wasn’t how it was, was it? You’ve taught me to dispise the day people learnt to harm themselves but also taught me that maybe it’s the answer. I love you, and I want you to be proud of me and I wish so desperately I could have fought your demons away, you didn’t deserve this.