how to become a drug lord

anonymous asked:

“How did you two become friends?” “I punched him in the face and he gave me a highfive” Jason and Tim brotherly?

Everyone has that one person that you didn’t really like at first but you slowly gained a better understanding of each other and then it transformed into a semblance of a friendship. Such was the relationship between Tim and Jason, but to more of an extreme given their particular circumstances. So when curious bystanders and newly introduced acquaintances asked them “How did you two become friends?” it was a bit complicated trying to figure out how to answer without accidentally giving away the fact that they were a technically illegal vigilante who worked outside of the law and a drug lord who’s legally dead and commits crimes frequently on occasion. As a result there was a slightly… fabricated… version of the truth which funneled down to “I punched him in the face and he gave me a highfive” which was sort of true. Except Jason had tried to actually kill Tim, which is a tiny bit more severe than a punch to the face. But once the whole ordeal was over Tim had in fact tried to engage in friendly conversation with Jason and there was a high five at some point, though it came after they had gotten to a good standing with each other. It was slightly confusing to Jason that Tim had asked for a high five (and a photo) seeing as Jason had, y’know, tried to destroy Tim due to Bruce’s betrayal (or the betrayal that Jason had perceived from Tim’s arrival). But at least they were on friendlier standings now and could work together without trying to kill each other. Most of the time at least. 

So We Became Warlords (Drug Lords?)

We’re playing a Darksun campaign where every character is chaotic neutral at best, which makes for an absolutely hilarious story because most of the time we’re just going with whatever solution to the problem that we find most humorous or useful at the time. Our DM is amazing at coming up with stuff on the fly, which is good because a full CN party is not going to be good at sticking to story lines!

We just finished killing off a band of slavers in order to save this barkeep and his family who we had just met in the previous town, and in thanks for us saving his family and helping him move to a safer town away from the slavers he gave us his old bar… Which of all things is full of cocaine which he was using to spike his alcohol.

Thri-Kreen Rogue (me): We can use this bar as our guild hall so we can store our stuff and take missions from the surrounding area!

Half Giant Fighter: I’m going to call in some other drug dealers I’ve worked with in the past to make this bar into a drug den.

Everyone else in the party: … … Well, the barkeep was kind of already selling drugs out of here to begin with… It’s not like we’re introducing drugs into a clean town… And he did mention in his history that he was a drug dealer…

Me: Can I work something out with the town guard to beef up the security in this town? Slavers were just walking right in and all.

DM: Okay, you are now the captain of the guard.

Me: Sweet! And we can also sell water out of our … “Drug castle” which is probably worth a lot more than alcohol in a barren wasteland. That and the drugs will improve the economy in our town right?

DM: Yep, the town will improve over time.

Whole Party: … … We kind of just took over the town didn’t we?

DM goes on to describe how the surrounding areas are all ruled by warlords who just happened to be the most powerful and rich people in the area.

Me: We seriously just used drugs and a free bar to become drug lords.

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Can we talk about how this is RIGHT after Dean gets back from 2014? He has seen the broken “yoga-drug-guru” Castiel comes to be, and he doesnt want HIS Cas to become him. He realizes he actually LIKES the socially awkward and unsubtle Angel of the Lord that Castiel is..

Stop Worshipping Claudia Felix

She is not a “bad bitch.” 

She is not a “trap queen.”

She should not be your “goals.” 

She should not be making you go “Me in a few years.”

She should be treated with the same attitude we treat the Boston Bombers, ISIS, the Germanwings co-pilot, and Adam Lanza- a MURDERER.

You all love to fucking complain how the people and military (at least in the US, because god know how many of you have actually lived in a foreign country long enough to their law enforcement in action) “benefiting” from systems of oppression and how all white people are scum of the earth, talking about “no snitches” but you know what? 

THIS is someone benefiting from a system of oppression. THIS is someone who is benefiting from the murder of innocents, from a war that has been going on for almost ten years and has been sending a country right into chaos. 

Don’t you dare call youself a feminist from this day forward if you admire this woman. Don’t you dare say that “#BrownLivesMatter” or try to paint yourself out to be an activist of an sort of civil rights if you call this woman a “queen.” 

She is helping to continue the drug cartel- do you even have a grasp to understand this? 

This system has killed 16,000 people in 2013 alone, has caused the disappearances of over 27,000. People are getting kidnapped, murdered, and having their bodies mutilated for speaking out. A journalist in Tamaulipas who was reporting on gang violence and crimes fueled by drug lords was murdered and they posted pictures of her body to her Twitter account. Ciudad Juarez has become a death trap for hundreds of women and girls ever since 1993 because of this. The 43 Ayotzinapa students still have not been found

And you dare applaud this woman because she has a good ass and a pink gun? 

Fuck you. 

FUCK YOU. 

You are a bunch of spoiled, self-centered brats. You have shown that you have little to no idea how life is actually like for people since you refuse to take off your little US-centered goggles. You do not want equality. You want the world to bow down and shut up and blindly follow your views and play the victim, yet you never want to talk about how so much worse some people in the world have it. You are literally the reason history is repeating itself. 

You all need to sit your asses down and get your fucking priorities straight and stop glorifying this bullshit. 

Claudia Felix is not a badass. 

She is someone running a a group of murderers and her empire is built on the foundation of the spilled blood of innocents and the empending collapse of Mexico’s entire govenment. 

She is a murderer and should be treated as such. 

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Precious Father in heaven, once again we thank you. We choose to give you all the glory for the success we have achieved so far on EBOLA. Only you can make a country that has been ridiculed in the global media to become a success story. Mighty God, without experimental drugs, you have silenced Ebola in NIGERIA. Blessed be your name. Father, this is a sign that indeed, this nation will lead the way in the end time revival. And just as they have come to see how Ebola was stemmed, they will also come to learn how terrorism died in NIGERIA. We know ourselves. We know we are a very disorganized country, but how you still chose to love and use us is humbling. Thank you for your grace Lord. Father, we pray that just as you have helped and are helping us, you will help Liberia, sierra-leone and Guinea in Jesus name. Thank you for those you have used. Blessed them Lord. And grant them the grace and humility to give you back the glory, always, in Jesus’ name. Amen

I’ll Be Good (I’ll Be A Better Man)

okay, there’s no smut, but i posted this on my ao3 account and wanted to post it here. it’s sad and there’s a minor trigger bc there’s some violence. this is based on the first verse of jaymes young’s I’ll Be Good and it is absolutely amazing. check out the song, you won’t be disapointed.

Keep reading

Teaching is a thankless job: You dedicate your life to shaping young minds, only to have them draw insulting caricatures of you in their Trapper Keepers, and maybe even throw the occasional eraser. And then there’s Mexico, where educators united together to form the Sindicato Nacional de Trabajadores de la Educacion (SNTE). It’s not just the biggest teachers union in the country – it’s the biggest union in Mexico, period. SNTE has more than 1.5 million members and rakes in about $60 million a year in profit. Once you actually make payroll as a teacher, the SNTE will bully the government into ensuring that you stay there for good, whatever you do.

Or don’t do, for that matter: Thousands of Mexican teachers draw salaries despite not having been near a school in years. Take, for example, Servando “La Tuta” Gomez, who worked as a primary-school teacher for a few months before dropping out to become a drug lord and leader of a cult-like criminal organization called the Knights Templar. That’s right: The only thing unbelievable about Breaking Bad was the location. Until his recent arrest, there was a multimillion-dollar bounty out on Gomez, and yet he still received regular checks from the government for his “teaching work.” Hey, teaching a snitch how not to have genitals anymore still counts as “teaching.”

The key to SNTE’s success is its leader: Elba Esther Gordillo, who prefers to go by her supervillain name, La Maestra (The Teacher).

5 Bizarre Groups That Run Entire Foreign Countries

In music theory today we were talking about guitarists that improvise and don’t know how to read music and my teacher said that something goes on in their brains that gives them the same symptoms as drugs and it becomes so addictive, and sometimes they loose that high and want to get back on it so they start actually turing to drugs to get that feeling back. The first thing I thought was “Dear Lord, I pray that Hunter doesn’t loose his musical high”