how to be a jewish son

7

For the past 6 months or so, I’ve been illustrating a weekly column for The Forward, a new york based Jewish newspaper. The questions deal with interfaith life, as more and more modern jews begin relationships and families with non-jews. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. A black man converting to Judaism feels left out.

2. How can a mother and father from two different religions talk to their son about god?

3. A jewish girl going off to college wonders how hard it will be to keep kosher.

4. A pregnant woman ponders moving to a city without a jewish community.

5. A woman feels uncomfortable when on vacation with her boyfriend’s liberal family speaking out against Israel

6. A woman considering converting to Judaism.

7. A Catholic husband worries that he and his Jewish wife won’t be together in the afterlife.

Guys,,,,,,,, I made an Andi Mack crack video (or an Andi Crack video, hehe) This is what I spent my snow day doing…… what this show has done to me.

@packagedleaves

Ok so I’ve been seeing a ton of those ‘we need more representation at hogwarts’ posts and I was like hell why not more Jewish representation at Hogwarts (and like everywhere else but that’s another story). No like imagine though
  • parents calling/or I guess writing the school to make sure that their kids get a kosher meal option and that there’s a good Jewish presence
  • having Friday night and Saturday morning and Holiday services in the room of requirement
  • bar and bat mitzvahs would be fuckin epic like imagine having your bar or bat mitzvah in the Great Hall like hot damn people would talk about that for centuries like what was your bar/bat mitzvah theme? oh just REAL LIFE WIZARDING MAGIC
  • on a more depressing note learning about how Voldemort tried to wipe out anyone who wasn’t pureblood brings up too many Holocaust parallels and is actually extremely upsetting to many students/ many of the Jewish kids teach their non-muggleborn friends about the Holocaust when they ask why they’re getting so distraught
  • but on a lighter note Hannukah at Hogwarts would be fuckin awesome. like Slytherin students charming their dreidels so they can win every time, Hufflepuffs making everyone homemade gifts and shit, EVERYONE fucking making latkes bc those rule, also the kitchen elves being like wtf is a latke and the students being like prepare to have your mind fuckin blown
  • giving the Jewish students the day off on Yom Kippur bc like how the frick are you supposed to function come on (that should apply to every school not just magical ones let’s be honest here)
  • accidentally saying spells in Hebrew because if you grew up learning Hebrew and English it’s gonna slip out when speaking another foreign language (happens to me all the time in Spanish)
  • getting howlers from concerned mothers who just want you to call back or write back because they love you and they want to make sure you’re warm and well fed (but they remind you that the cooking will never be as good as their own, and your mom is probably right, you miss her brisket and kugel) and if you’re dating anyone make sure it’s a nice jewish boy/girl!
  • religious kids arguing over what kind of magic is okay to use on Shabbat and holidays
  • religious kids getting kippot that match their respective houses
  • religious kids davening in their common rooms each morning
  • having a succah in the courtyard on Succot, but it does the bigger on the inside thing like the tents at the Quidditch world cup, so on the outside it looks pretty small and humble but you get inside and it’s like decked the fuck out and there’s candy from honeydukes everywhere and it’s just amazing
  • dressing up on Halloween and Purim and giving shalach manot to their friends and professors
  • WHY CANT YOU EAT BREAD FOR THE WHOLE WEEK? This question comes up whether you’re in the wizarding world or not let’s face it.
  • HOGWARTS SEDERS. The great hall decorated for the Seder. those long ass Hogwarts tables decorated with like ten Seder plates because they are so long. Students staying up way past their bedtime because it’s the Seder and that’s just what you do. all the kids who were at the Seder just wiped out in classes the next day.
  • Jewish wizards charming matzah into actually tasting decent (what a thought)
  • Jewish wizards inviting their non Jewish friends to Seders and Friday night dinners
  • Introducing friends to the magical bread that is Challah and kids being like 'damn son I do magic all day every day but this is true magic’
  • Jewish wizard couples just because
  • Celebrating Israeli Independence Day at Hogwarts (that would be a dream come true holy moly) like cooking falafel and stuff with the kitchen elves that would be amazing
  • basically just send me to Hogwarts already

i sometimes think about how there is an old jewish man that has a son that sings about dicks and plays games while talking about dicks and loves everything about him and is so proud of him and gets really excited when his son hits a milestone

it’s really funny how no one complains when Superman, another, arguably even more blatant Jewish power fantasy, has gone through the ringer of offensive stuff and no one bats an eye. Like to wit:

  • Superman became a fascist dictator (Injustice)
  • Superman was raised by an antisemitic dictator and became the embodiment of his will (Red Son)
  • Superman was manipulated into serving a character that was explicitly based off of Adolf Hitler in a manner similar to Captain America now (DCAU)

Likewise, despite his Jewish roots, everyone understands that using superman in a manner contradictory to his origins isn’t terribly insulting or offensive. On one hand, it could be because Superman was created for the purpose of being blatant war propaganda. On the other hand, it could be because DC has consistently tried to avoid pandering to the most toxic elements of this fucking hellsite.

Some years after I first channeled the Jets to explain my Judaism, I had a conversation about religion with a devout Catholic friend. When I explained that I was an observant Jew and began each day by reciting the morning prayers but wasn’t really sure how God fit into my life, he was perplexed. When I admitted that these theological questions didn’t really occupy much of my attention and certainly weren’t particularly germane to my life as an observant Jew, he became agitated. And when I told him that I certainly wasn’t sure if Jewish law was divine or simply the result of two millennia of rabbinical interpretations, he threw up his hands and said: “How can you do everything you do, and live a life with so many restrictions and so many obligations, if you don’t even believe in God?”

I responded that there is a long tradition in Judaism of engaging first in religious practices and letting matters of faith come later. In the book of Exodus, after Moses has received the Commandments from God, he begins to instruct the Jewish people in the law; their immediate response is na’aseh v’nishma: “We will do first and understand afterwards.” I explained that while I understood that Catholicism, along with the other branches of Christianity, was essentially a religion based on the belief that Jesus is the son of God and the savior of humanity, Judaism is a complex blend of radical monotheism and peoplehood. In the Bible, the Jewish people are referred to not as a religious denomination, but asb’nai Yisrael, the children of Israel, the descendants of Jacob. Throughout history, Jews have referred to themselves as am Yisrael, the nation of Israel. The vast corpus of Jewish law, all 613 biblical commandments as well as the Oral Tradition, is a guide to how one lives a Jewish life as a member of the Jewish people.

And so for me, and I imagine for many others like me, the key to Jewish living is not our religious beliefs but our commitment to a set of practices and values that foster community and continuity.

—  Jay P. Lefkowitz, The Rise of Social Orthodoxy
LOT fic: Mick's World

Fic: Mick’s World (AO3 Link)
Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow, Flash
Pairing: mostly gen (Mick Rory/Leonard Snart main, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart but only if you really squint)

Summary: When Leonard Snart gets a hold of the Spear of Destiny, he doesn’t turn it over to the Legion of Doom to do with as they wish.

He’s a thief. He steals it for himself - and for his partner - instead.

It’s Mick Rory’s world now, and you’re all just living in it.

(rewrite of Doomworld)

A/N: I wrote this in a fit of inspiration in the space of about an hour, so…please forgive the mistakes. They may be more than usual. @oneiriad, who needs to stop giving me all these fic ideas.

——————————————————————————————

Len’s humming to himself as he enters the warehouse where he stashed the guns and the diamond for the time being. His contact was as good as his word - he has a reliable location for Mick and a message out for delivery.

He has no doubt Mick will meet him at the crappy Keystone motel, despite the months since they last saw each other. They’ve always come back together, always, no matter the reason for the split.

They just need some time to cool off, that’s all.

Len smirks at the pun.

Just as he walks in, though, he sees a crackle of lightning. Red lightning, not yellow, but no one’s ever been able to fault Len’s knee-jerk instincts.

He flips on the gun, aims, and shoots in one move.

He catches the speedster from the waist down.

It’s definitely not the kid he saw earlier - an older man, about Len’s age, blond. Looks like Len just gave him an unpleasant surprise.

Keep reading

Sephardic Journeys: Bar Mitzvah Speech

The rare books and artifacts in this exhibit, Sephardic Journeys, reflect a rich tradition of scholarship and culture shaped by migrations, and they invite, in turn, reflection upon the physical, emotional and spiritual journeys of Jewish history. 

Item above:
Bar Mitzvah Speech
Morris Tarragano
(New York, 1933)
Ladino, English

Morris Tarragano’s family, as many Sephardim after the fall of the Ottoman Empire, immigrated to the West. A second generation American, Tarragano was a native speaker of English and Ladino, which was used both for sacred and secular speech. This Bar Mitzvah address was written first in Ladino and then transcribed into English, a sign of the changing linguistic preferences of American Sephardim.
Gift of the author, Mr. Morris Tarragano

Excerpt from the speech From Hank Halio’s Ladino Reveries: Tales of the Sephardic Experience in America, pp. 66-68

Dear Father, Mother, Grandfather, Grandmother and Honored Guests:

Thirteen years ago I first saw the light of this world. During these thirteen years your thoughts have been on me. I look back on the years of my childhood with great pleasure. For years you watched over me with great care. Days that were enlightened for me through the sincere eyes of my dear mother, and guided through the advice of my dear father. Today I understand all the work you have done for me until now and how much work and anxiety I caused you.

Thirteen years of my life have passed and according to Jewish law, I am Bar Misvah (of age), a son of the Alliance of Israel, and I am considered among the responsible. Today I turn an entirely new page in the story of my life. A path of duty and activity is unfolded before me. Childhood, with its sweet dreams, is no longer with me. The solemnity of life with its fears and hopes confront me. There are difficulties in life. What will support and sustain me to live with love and dignity? What will save and prevent me from falling into sin? Nothing but the faith and belief in God.


Sephardic Journeys is on view through June 2015 in The David Berg Rare Book Room. Sephardic Journeys has been supported by a generous grant from The David Berg Foundation and was created by the Center for Jewish History with American Sephardi Federation. 

To see other artifacts from Sephardic Journeys click here: http://16thstreet.tumblr.com/tagged/Sephardic-Journeys

anonymous asked:

Genuinely curious and uninformed, what's wrong with marvel?

made magneto work for hydra, made captain america work for hydra, whitewashed two rroma-jewish sons of holocaust survivors to make em white nazis, the entire doctor strange movie, has a marketing campaign making the whole marvel company “hydra” making comic book store employees wear hydra clothes and decorate their stores with hydra emblems in a time where nazism is on the rise, write comics whose hero dialogue is literally “consider this ur trigger warning” and “do u need a SAFE SPACE!” and also act like pricks about it

like google is right there for u for more and ya im angry but how can one not be

anonymous asked:

How do you pick up Jewish girls? A dustpan. How do you get a baby in a jar? A blender. How do you get it out? Tortilla chips. Fucking a corpse is a lot like a good beer. Cold and refreshing. Keep it up you son of a bitch! Just like she tells me.

Shout out to this dick head 😂

My ML Headcanons #5

Less a headcanon and more of an in-depth analysis, but bear with me.

Okay, I see most of the main cast here…

But I don’t see Ivan, Mylene, or Nathanael.

According to Wikipedia, ‘Brühl’ “is the name of an old German noble family from Saxony-Thuringia”, but “one of the most important branches of the von Brühl family uses the spelling Brüel (Yeah, it has an umlaut but it’s still Ivan’s surname), and mainly resides in Denmark and Sweden.” The Danish resistance was paramount to helping thousands of Jews escape Germany into Sweden in the 1940s. A Brüel marrying a Jewish refugee is a definite possibility.

Not so much information on Nathanael’s surname, Kurtzberg. Broken down, ‘kurtz’ is German for ‘short’ (we all know how smol tomato son is) and the suffix ‘berg’ indicates a Jew of German descent.

tl;dr- Ivan and Nathanael aren’t at Christmas dinner because they’re Jewish. And Mylene is MIA because she’s spending the holiday with Ivan.

Confronting Anti-Black Racism in The Arab World (Important Read)


In response to an essay I wrote recently regarding the “essential blackness” of the Palestinian struggle, I received this reaction, among others: “What about Arab anti-black racism? Or the Arab slave trade?”

The Arab slave trade is a fact of history and anti-black racism is a fact of current reality, a shameful thing that must be confronted in Arab societies. Though I claim no expertise on the subject, I think that applying notions of racism as it exists in the US will preclude a real understanding of the subject in the Arab world.

I spent much of much of my youth in the Arab world and I do not recall having a race consciousness until I came to the United States at the age of 13. My knowledge of Arab anti-black racism comes predominantly from Arab Americans. Like other immigrant communities, they adopt the prevailing racist sentiments of the power structure in the US, which decidedly holds African-Americans in contempt.

This attitude is also becoming more prevalent in Arab countries for various reasons, but mostly because Arab governments, particularly those that import foreign labour from Africa and Southeast Asia, have failed to implement or enforce anti-discrimination and anti-exploitation laws.

In many Arab nations, including Kuwait where I was born, workers are lured into menial jobs where their passports are confiscated upon arrival and they are forced into humiliating and often inhuman working conditions. They have little to no protection under the law and are particularly vulnerable to exploitation, including extraordinarily long working hours, withholding of salaries, sexual, mental, and physical abuse, and denial of travel.

The recent case of Alem Dechesa brought to light the horrors faced by migrant workers in Lebanon. Dechesa, a domestic worker from Ethiopia, committed suicide after suffering terrible mental and physical abuse at the hands of her Lebanese employers, whose savage beating of her in front of the Ethiopian Consulate went viral last year.

Defining beauty

An extension to Arab anti-black racism is an aspiration to all that our former - and current - colonisers possess. Individuals aspire to what is powerful and rich, and the images of that power and wealth have light skin, straight hair, small noses, ruddy cheeks and tall, skinny bodies. That image rejects melanin-rich skin, coiled hair, broad or pointy noses, short stature, broad hips and big legs. So we, too, reject these features, despising them in others and in ourselves as symbols of inferiority, laziness, and poverty. That’s why the anglicising industries of skin bleaching and hair straightening are so profitable.

And yet, when Palestine went to the UN for recognition of statehood, the vast majority of nations who voted yes were southern nations. The same is true when Palestine asked for admission to UNESCO. In fact, when the US cut off funding to UNESCO in response to its members’ democratic vote to admit Palestine, it was the African nation of Gabon that immediately stepped up with a $2m donation to UNESCO to help offset the loss of income.

It was not Saudi Arabia, or Kuwait, or Qatar, or Lebanon, or Sweden, or France. It was Gabon. How many Palestinians know that, much less expressed gratitude for it?

So concerned are Palestinians with what the European Union and the United States think of us. So engrossed are we in grovelling for their favour and handouts as they support a system of Jewish supremacy pushing our ancient society into extinction. We dance like clowns any time a European leader spares us a thought. Have we no sense of history? No sense of pride? No comprehension of who is truly standing with us and who is sabotaging us?

In a world order that peddles notions of entire continents or regions as irreducible monoliths, the conversation among Arabs becomes a dichotomous “Arab” versus “African”, ignoring millennia of shared histories ranging from extensive trade and commerce, to the horrors of the Arab slave trade, to the solidarity of African-Arab anti-colonial unity, to the current state of ignorance that does not know history and cannot connect the dots when it comes to national liberation struggles.

Arab slave trade

When I was researching the subject of the Arab slave trade, I came upon a veritable treasure of a website established by The African Holocaust Society, or Mafaa [Swahili for “holocaust”], a non-profit organisation of scholars, artists, filmmakers, academics, and activists dedicated to reclaiming the narratives of African histories, cultures, and identities. Included in this great body of scholarly works is a comprehensive section on the Arab slave trade, as well as the Jewish slave trade, African-Arab relations over the centuries, and more, by Owen Alik Shahadah, an activist, scholar and filmmaker.

Reading this part of our shared history, we can see how a large proportion of Arabs, including those among us who harbour anti-black racism, are the sons and daughters of African women, who were kidnapped from Eastern African nations as sex slaves.

Unlike the European slave trade, the Arab slave trade was not an important feature of Arab economies and it predominantly targeted women, who became members of harems and whose children were full heirs to their father’s names, legacies and fortunes, without regard to their physical features. The enslaved were not bought and sold as chattel the way we understand the slave trade here, but were captured in warfare, or kidnapped outright and hauled across the Sahara.

Race was not a defining line and enslaved peoples were not locked into a single fate, but had opportunity for upward mobility though various means, including bearing children or conversion to Islam. No-one knows the true numbers of how many African women were enslaved by Arabs, but one need only look at ourselves to see the shadows of these African mothers who gave birth to us and lost their African identities.

But while African scholars at the Mafaa Society make important distinctions between the Arab and European slave trades, enslavement of human beings is a horror of incomprehensible proportions by any standard, and that’s what it was in the Arab world as it was - or is - anywhere. There are some who argue that the Arab slave traders were themselves indistinguishable from those whom they enslaved because the word “Arab” had cultural relevance, not racial.

One-way street

This argument goes hand-in-hand with the discredited excuse that Africans themselves were involved in the slave trade, with warring tribes capturing and selling each other. But no matter how you look at it, the slave trade was a one-way street, with Africans always the enslaved victims. I know of no African tribe that kidnapped Europeans and put them in bondage for generations; nor do I know of an African tribe that captured Arab women for centuries and made them sex slaves.

I think humanity has truly never known a holocaust of greater magnitude, savagery, or longevity than that perpetrated against the peoples of Africa. This Mafaa has never been fully acknowledged and certainly never atoned for - not that the wounds or enduring legacies of turning human beings into chattel for centuries can ever be fully comprehended or atoned for. But one must try, because just as we inherit privilege from our ancestors, so do we inherit their sins and the responsibility for those sins.

Gaddafi’s role

The late Colonel Muammar Gaddafi understood this and he used his power and wealth to try to redeem our shared history. He was the first Arab leader to apologise on behalf of Arab peoples to our African brothers and sisters for the Arab slave trade and the Arab role in the European slave trade.

He funnelled money into the African Union and used Libya’s wealth to empower the African continent and promote pan-Africanism. He was a force of reconciliation, socialism, and empowerment for both African and Arab peoples. Gaddafi’s actions threatened to renew African-Arab reconciliation and alliances similar to that which occurred at the height of the Non-Aligned Movement during the presidencies of Jamal Abdel Nasser of Egypt and Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana.  

Thus, NATO’s urgency to prevent “massacres” and “slaughter” in Libya was manufactured and sold wholesale. The fear of African-Arab solidarity can be seen in the way the US-backed Libyan insurgency spread rumours that “black African” mercenaries were committing atrocities against Libyans. Gaddafi became an even bigger threat when an agreement was reached with the great anti-imperialist force in South America, Hugo Chavez, to mediate a solution to the uprising in Libya.

Now both of these champions of their people are gone, and the so-called Libyan revolutionaries are executing “black Africans” throughout the country. Gone, too, is NATO’s worry about slaughter in Libya, and another high-functioning Arab nation lies in ruin, waste and civil strife - primed for rampant corporate looting.

I wrote previously that the Palestinian struggle against the erasure of our existence, history and identity was spiritually and politically black in nature. So, too, are other struggles, like that of migrant workers throughout many Arab nations. These are our comrades. They are the wretched, exploited, robbed, and/or, at last, liberated.

I refer to Black as a political term, not necessarily a racial or ethnic descriptor. In the words of Owen Alik Shehadah: “Black People is a construction which articulates a recent social-political reality of people of colour (pigmented people). Black is not a racial family, an ethnic group or a super-ethnic group. Political Blackness is thus not an identity but moreover a social-political consequence of a world which after colonialism and slavery existed in those colour terms. The word "Black” has no historical or cultural association, it was a name born when Africans were broken down into transferable labour units and transported as chattel to the Americas.“

But that word has been reclaimed, redefined, and injected with all the power, love, defiance, and beauty that is Africa. For the rest of us, and without appropriating the word, "black” is a phenomenon of resistance, steadfastness - what we Palestinians call sumud - and the beauty of culture that is reborn out of bondage and oppression.

Right to look the other way

Finally, solidarity from Africans is not equivalent to that which comes from our European comrades, whose governments are responsible for the ongoing erasure of Palestine. African peoples have every reason to look the other way. Ethiopians have every reason to say: “You deserve what you get for the centuries of enslavement and neo-enslavement industry by your Arab neighbours.” African Americans have every reason to say: “Why should I show solidarity with Arabs who come here to treat us like white people do, and sometimes worse?”

Malcolm X once said: “If I was that [anti-American], I’d have a right to be that - after what America has done to us. This government should feel lucky that our people aren’t anti-American.”

We can substitute the word “Arab” for “American” in that sentence and it would be a valid statement. And yet, Africa is right there with us. African American intellectuals are the greatest champions of our struggle in the United States. The impact of solidarity from four particular individuals - Desmond Tutu, Alice Walker, Angela Davis and Cynthia McKinney - can never be overestimated.

Last month, the former South African ambassador to Israel refused a “certificate” from Israel confirming the planting of trees in his name. In his letter, he called Israel a racist, apartheid state and said the gift was an “offence to my dignity and integrity”. He added: “I was not a party to, and never will be, to the planting of ‘18 trees’, in my 'honour’, on expropriated and stolen land.”

I would like my countrymen to think long and hard about this until they truly comprehend the humbling beauty of this solidarity from people who have every reason to be anti-Arab. I wish my countrymen could look through my eyes. They would see that black is profoundly beautiful. They would see that Africa runs through our veins, too. Our enslaved African foremothers deserve to be honoured and loved by their Arab children. And it is for us to redeem their pain with the recognition and atonement long owed.

Arriving at this understanding is a good starting place for reciprocal solidarity with nations and peoples who are standing with us, in heart and in action.

…….

Susan Abulhawa is a Palestinian writer and the author of the international bestselling novel, Mornings in Jenin (Bloomsbury 2010). She is also the founder of Playgrounds for Palestine, an NGO for children.

Follow her on Twitter: @sjabulhawa

Source: Al Jazeera 

______________________________________________________________

The Arabic Slave Trade is something that is rarely spoken about and often goes unheard of. When we speak of the enslavement of Africans, many of us like to connect it with Europeans, which is fine, but we should never forget they were not the only ones. For over 900 years, Africans were enslaved by Arabic slave traders. They would take Africans from all over the continent including West, East, and North Africa forcing them to march thousands of miles to Slave Markets. The Men, Women, and Children were bound together by the waist and neck so that if one died the rest could drag him or her along. These walks became known as the “Death Marches” and an estimated 20 million Africans died on these walks alone. The Arabs believed it was God’s wish to see Africans enslaved and believed they were uncivilized animals. Sound Familiar? Slaves were beaten and abused regularly. Many African Women, young Girls, and Boys would be used as Sex slaves for their owners. Islamic Slave holders would stick their swords and other weapons into the Vagina’s of Black Women and cut off the penis of African Men. This was done because they believed Africans had an uncontrollable sex drive. Many Africans would be forced to convert to Islam believing if they shared the same religion, it would stop the abuse. Muslim slave traders would also promise them Freedom after conversion. This did not stop the abuse nor did it gain them their freedom. In Fact, one can argue it made them even more enslaved. When Europeans entered the slave industry, Muslim Slave traders would use the religion to exploit Islamic Africans to bring them other Africans. These Africans would then be sold to Europeans. Slavery in the holy city of Mecca would not be outlawed until 1966 and in all other Arabic countries until 1990. The Islamic Slave Trade began almost 500 years before the Europeans would come to Africa. It would be a catalyst for the dismantling of the continent and the massive expansion of the Religion. Had it not been for Islam, European Chattel Slavery may never have occurred. History is quite a teacher and once again as the late Dr. John Henrik Clarke once said, “Africa has no friends. If you want a friend, look in the mirror.”

Written by @KingKwajo - Via: SanCopha League

Thoughts on the Dear Evan Hansen b**t

I finished Act I yesterday so it might be a little rusty, but I just finished Act II, so here goes Act I:

First off: BEN PLATT.  HOLY SHIT BEN PLATT.  This man is freaking amazing.  Give him the Tony.  The range of emotions he goes through, especially at the end…my gods, what a talented man.

“Anybody Have a Map?” is fantastic.  The harmonies.  THE HARMONIES.

“Waving Through a Window” is fabulous.  I relate to it.  That’s really all I have to say on it.

I wish Connor wasn’t such a plot device.  I also wish that the five minutes he’s on stage alive he wasn’t so awful.  But that’s probably a part of many underlying mental health issues.  When he tells Evan “You’re the fucking freak” it seems to me that HE’S the one who feels like a “freak” and is trying to pin it on someone else.

The.  Insanely.  Cool. Jared.  Kleinman.  Favorite character.  FAVORITE.

I think Alana might not have the best social skills.  The story she tells Evan about her grandmother dying isn’t exactly something you tell someone you don’t know very well on the first day of school.  I do like that, though.  Adds a little more to her character.

Evan’s letter to himself HURTS.  The way he wonders what would happen if he disappeared HURTS.  This poor guy…

I honestly don’t really get why Connor gets so mad at the mention of Zoe in the letter.  It’s not like he’s some protective older brother at this point.  Maybe it’s just that he resents her or something.  I don’t know.

Can we just appreciate Jennifer Laura Thompson’s Cynthia?  She is very good at looking miserable.

“For Forever” is gorgeous.  SUPPORT MALE FRIENDSHIPS NOT BASED ON TOXIC MASCULINITY 2K17.

Evan saying that Connor came to get him when he broke his arm is heartbreaking.  He just wants to believe that he really fell by accident so badly.

“Sincerely, Me” is one of my favorites on the recording but onstage it is just the best.  Mike Faist’s expressions on “I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight”, “If I stop smoking crack”, and “If I stop smoking pot” are PRICELESS.  Also, how is he making his voice so smooth on the last one?  I want to find out how to do that.

Jared’s interjections into the song are hilarious, and so are Will Roland’s facial expressions.  He doesn’t say “Kinky” after “rough” like he does on the recording but I think this b**t is from a preview.

There’s actually a lot of chemistry between Ben, Mike, and Will.  Such a shame they’re not playing real friends.  

When Zoe arrives home before “Requiem” and Cynthia offers her the emails, she says something like “Just because Connor’s not here pounding on my door screaming that he’s going to kill me for no reason doesn’t mean we’re the fucking Brady Bunch.”  And WHAM.  We are immediately reminded of the real Connor, not the one we just saw.  Kind of shaking.

“Requiem” is also gorgeous.  Laura Dreyfuss’s voice is beautiful.  The song is a great exploration of grief (or rather, non-grief).  Go listen to it.  Also, those harmonies.  Holy shit.

“If I Could Tell Her.”  Ben is adorably awkward.  I want to hug him.  I’m not an Evan/Zoe shipper but everything in this song made me think it was kind of cute.  Also, Laura Dreyfuss is one of the most adorable people on this planet.  Protect her.

“Disappear” has a great message, though I feel that “You Will Be Found” is the better song.  Still, nice to see Connor back (or whatever this version of Connor is–a voice in Evan’s head, I guess).

So Evan apparently knows how to tie a tie?  He doesn’t seem like the type who would.

In “You Will Be Found” Evan has index cards but drops them and only starts the song when he starts improvising.  Interesting.

I’m honestly not sure what the message about social media is here.  What is the point?  Is it good?  Bad?  Both?

On to Act II!

Why isn’t “Sincerely, Me (Reprise)” on the soundtrack?  It’s hilarious!  After the “sucking dick for meth” line the light comes up on Jared and he laughs rather evilly.  I love it.

“Dad, are you torturing him?  Evan, is he torturing you?”  I love Zoe.

Larry turns to Evan and says “Women…”  What year are you in, sir, 1955?

I love how “To Break in a Glove” starts with Evan trying to distract Larry from Zoe’s interruption.  

The idea of Connor never using the glove makes me wonder just how bad his relationship with his parents was, especially how young he probably was when it went downhill.  Then again, maybe he just doesn’t like baseball.

Larry’s philosophy of “do the right thing, even when it’s hard” does not take his son into account and reminds me of Ned Stark.

“Only Us” is okay but a little bland.  There’s nothing very interesting about it.

Jared confirming that he is Jewish (”The liquor cabinet hasn’t been opened since Rosh Hashannah 1997″ or something like it) and his Fiddler on the Roof reference (”People want to talk to you now!  That’s a wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!”) made me so happy.  He’s a gay Jewish musical theatre geek and you can’t convince me otherwise.  (This might be out of order, I’m not sure.)

Rachel.  Bay.  Jones.  In the scene where the Murphys offer to pay for Evan’s college tuition.  Her mannerisms and facial expressions are just perfect.  Her constant smiling, grimacing, and cringing are fantastic.

“Good for You.”  Oh gods, this song.  It is ELECTRIC.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song this passive-aggressive and sarcastic.  Alana’s lines about how she knows what it feels like to be suicidal and Jared’s “Fuck you, Evan, you asshole!” hit the mark, and that trio is fantastic.  And “Stop it, stop it!  Just let me off!”  And when Evan turns around to see them singing into his face. PERFECT.

Connor appearing to Evan after “Good for You” is really interesting.  He confronts Evan as to why he broke his arm–even the voice in Evan’s head is telling him to confront the truth, even if it is also telling him to continue with the lie.  

The “Words Fail” scene.  My gods.  I think Ben Platt is actually crying.  The way Zoe and Cynthia run past him and Larry just gives him a glare before exiting is beautiful–he’s being abandoned by everyone, and somewhat rightfully so.  And the rest of the song.  Now I’m pretty sure he’s crying.

Evan’s “If you knew what I did, you’d hate me” line (or something like it) to Heidi.  Oh my gods.  This guy is a massive liar and I still want to hug him.

“So Big/So Small.”  Give Rachel Bay Jones a Tony nomination.  And maybe a Tony.  The emotion in her voice towards the end is so raw, and how is Ben not sobbing his eyes out?

I like how Evan and Zoe’s relationship is left hanging–we don’t know if they’re still a couple.  It makes sense to me.  While I do think Zoe wants to continue the relationship, I also think she’s a little cautious about it.

Overall, a wonderful show, but not without its problems in the story and character department.  Sorry for the long post!

I hope y'all don't mind, but I'm going to go on a rant about Andi Mack

And specifically, the purest perfect bean, Cyrus Goodman. Now, I know you’re probably thinking, “how could he possibly be an even more amazing character?” well I’m gonna fucking tell you. Now don’t laugh.
It’s because he’s Jewish.
Now, I know, you’re probably like “Yeah, we know, that’s why we tag stuff about him ‘my gay Jewish son,’ is his Judaism really important?
Oh it McFucking is.
For one, they have a Jewish character in general. Now, it’s not like this is the first time they’ve had a Jewish character, but the first time a Jewish character (or Judaism in general) wasn’t just used for a cheap joke and a laugh or as an example of "diversity” on the show. He’s Jewish for no reason than, honestly, “just because.” They had no real reason to make him Jewish, he just was (and I’d also like to point out that neither “Cyrus” nor “Goodman” are stereotypical or common Jewish names). And he wasn’t overly Jewish, like bringing up Jewish related stuff in every other scene, even though he’d be reaching bar mitzvah age really soon (I remember when preparing for my bat mitzvah it contained half of my thoughts and words) and his religion isn’t used as a joke. Trust me, Disney does this.
They will say things like “Mazel Tov” at stupid and inappropriate times, and if they mention Jewish holidays, they’d only casually mention Hanukah once in a Christmas special or something. I bet any non-Jewish person working at Disney couldn’t name one holiday other than Hanukah, and if they could, name one thing about the holiday they know. (and there are so many: Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Shabbat, Tu b'shvat, Purim, Passover, just to name some of the most popular ones)
And it’s not just Disney. I remember prevalently from an episode of Henry Danger or Nickelodeon that Piper’s neighbor was offended that Piper didn’t know her name, even stating “I invited you to my bat mitzvah!” and Piper tried to flatter her by saying “Your Hebrew was spot on!” (Like she’d even know anyway) and when her neighbor left, Piper went back to being nasty and said “Your Hebrew was lame! Shabbat Sha-lame!”
Can you imagine how annoyed and offended I was? Some of you, even you fellow Jews may not find that offense, but I’m very prideful in my religion, and it annoyed the fuck out of me.
I understand that Jews aren’t the majority, but the way that Disney of all people treats them in representation is almost Anti-Semitism. Again, some of you may think that sounds drastic, but I think it’s true.
So, anyways, I’m very happy that they have a normal kid on their show that just so happens to be Jewish.
Oh, and the fact that he’s gay is awesome too. Name at least three gay Jews represented in tv shows?
Exactly.
So, thank you Andi Mack, for the gift that is Cyrus Goodman, my gay jewish son.

anonymous asked:

Hi! Actually it's possible to be Jewish and believe in Jesus as the son of God! Since being Jewish is also a heritage/culture thing, there is such a thing as "Jews for Jesus"

[for those curious, this is the post the anon is referring to.]

this seems completely contradictory to everything i’ve learned about judaism. hm. i’m going to look into this more because now i’m genuinely curious as to how this is even possible and how this “jews for jesus” group is viewed by the majority of traditional jews.

thanks for telling me about this, anon! :)

An iconic Jewish joke

A young scholar of Chelm, innocent in the ways of earthly matters, was stunned one morning when his wife gave birth. Pell mell he ran to the rabbi.

“Rabbi,” he blurted out, “an extraordinary thing has hap­pened! Please explain it to me. My wife has just given birth although we have been married only three months! How can this be? Everyone knows it takes nine months for a baby to be born!”

The rabbi, a world-renowned sage, put on his silver-rimmed spectacles and furrowed his brow reflectively.

“My son,” he said, “I can see you haven’t the slightest idea about such matters, nor can make the simplest calculation. Let me ask you: Have you lived with your wife three months?”

“Yes.”   

“She has lived with you three months?”  

“Yes.”   

“Together–have you lived three months?”   

“Yes.”   

“What’s the total then–three months plus three plus three?”   

“Nine months, Rabbi!”   

“So… what is the problem?”

The Unlucky Child

The Torah speaks of four children: one is wise, one is wicked, one is simple and one does not know how to ask. (The haggadah)

In four separate places, the Torah instructs us to tell the story and mitzvos of Pesach to our children. The Haggadah interprets this as four different conversations, reflecting four types of children who might be asking the question: the wise son, the wicked son, the simple son, and the son who does not know how to ask.

The Haggadah’s placement of the son who does not know how to ask at the very end of the list seems unfair. If the first mentioned is the wise son, the most virtuous, then at the opposite end should be his nemesis, the wicked son. Why does the Haggadah list the wicked son immediately after the wise and righteous son, while the son whose only crime is his lack of knowledge is relegated to the very end?

By setting it up this way, the Haggadah highlights the crucial need to ensure that every Jewish child receives a Jewish education.

In a certain sense, someone who is lacking a solid Jewish foundation is in a more lamentable position than someone who received that education but chose to rebel against it. A person who was never taught how to live Jewishly, i.e., in accordance with the Torah and mitzvos, will still have a long, slow journey, even when he does ultimately seek to understand and embrace his heritage. The wicked son, on the other hand, despite his current defiance and rebellion, can make the immediate transition into a “wise son,” as soon as he decides to do so.

Furthermore, we are certain that the wicked son will ultimately repent before the coming of Moshiach (see Tanya Chapter 39), as we are promised: “No one banished from Him will remain banished” (Shmuel II 14:14). It is not a question of if, but when. And at that moment, since he has been fortunate enough to receive a solid Jewish education, he will be capable of immediately assuming a full Torah lifestyle.

—Toras Menachem 5743, vol. 3, pp. 1279-1280

the most disastrous of weddings

[modern au]


-The wedding was in Los Angeles, and most of their friends lived in/around New York. Clint and Natasha’s plane was an hour delayed, Thor’s plane was two hours delayed, and Rhodey, the best man himself, couldn’t even get there until literally two minutes before the ceremony started.

-At least seven of Tony’s ex-one-night-stands decided to gatecrash. One underwear model even got up during dinner and made a very drunken speech about how lucky Pepper was to get to sleep with Tony regularly now.

-The wedding was secular (which pissed off Pepper’s Jewish relatives), had a ridiculously long guest list (which pissed off Pepper), and was held in an obnoxiously fancy hotel (which pissed off Steve right before he subjected everyone around him to a very long rant about capitalism).

-Pepper’s parents got into a huge fight with Howard Stark about him and his son not honoring their own Jewish roots. Maria Stark got very drunk after that and fell into the hotel fountain.

-Steve and Bucky, fresh from their own honeymoon, spent half the reception having sex in the coat closet and the whole wedding being “so disgustingly adorable they make me feel bad about my love life, and I’m the groom for god’s sake” (Tony’s words).

-Tony’s teenage son Jonas (aka Vision) decided to bring along his girlfriend Wanda and her twin brother Pietro. Wanda swiped half the drinks off the dinner table before the guests could, and ended up getting as shitfaced as only a sixteen-year-old novice drinker could. Meanwhile, Pietro got bored ten minutes into the wedding and slipped away to a comics store a block away from the hotel. Nobody missed him until after the reception.

-Pepper was never Bridezilla. Tony was Bridezilla. Complete control freak. Everything had to be perfect for his bride, everything had to match (“Rogers, can you tell the difference between eggshell and ecru?”), everything had to be over-the-top expensive, and he kept freaking out if anything went wrong. Which then, of course, led to Pepper freaking out too and everyone in the vicinity getting a headache.

-Thor made the huge mistake of bringing along his younger brother “for fun.”

-Loki, of course, thought it would be funny to start several ridiculous rumors about Tony’s friends (ranging from “Natasha kills every man she sleeps with” to “Steve is secretly a neo-Nazi”). 

-And then he thought it would be funny to sneak weed into the wedding cake, tease the seams of Pepper’s dress with a razor blade, and slip a positive pregnancy test (along with a note “from Pepper”) into Tony’s suitcase. Maria Hill caught him at the first and last prank, but poor Pepper unknowingly came very close to suffering a wardrobe malfunction every time she took a deep breath.

-It rained all weekend; and the day of the wedding itself, there was a massive thunderstorm. Half the guests got their outfits soaked.

-Sharon, who’d recently broken her ankle in martial arts class, ended up twisting it again during dance rehearsals. So Howard, who wanted to avoid a trip to the ER, gave her enough (possibly illegal) painkillers to stun an elephant; and poor Sharon stayed high as a kite for the whole wedding. She gave everyone ship names. Literally everyone.

-(“Pepperony…hehe, that’s funny; you’re a pizza topping; though I don’t think you’re very tasty, Tony…Nint? Or Clintasha? Maybe Rortan, but that sounds like rotten, and Nat’s too tasty-looking to be rotten…Starbucks? Barnes and Noble? Buck Rogers? American Booty/American Psycho? Stucky sounds like what you guys are like to each other after you have sex…” “Well, it’s not like she’s wrong, Steve,” Bucky said to his embarrassed husband.)

-During the hora, Thor, who was carrying Pepper’s chair, tripped and dropped the chair on his foot. He ended up in the ER (despite Howard’s efforts otherwise) for breaking three toes, and all the guests learned about fifty new swears in Norwegian.

-Sam, who was supposed to be the adult here, spent the whole wedding indulging his weaknesses for vodka martinis, mini desserts, and handsome men. Said handsome man being the rich and gorgeous T'Challa, who Sam managed to hook up with halfway through the reception. So that left everyone else on their own.

-One of Tony’s older cousins hit on Natasha all through the ceremony and even tried to grope her when Clint wasn’t looking. The man was later found unconscious and face-down in the hotel gardens with half a stiletto shoved up his asshole.

-Pepper’s grandma complained all throughout dinner about everything, including but not limited to a) the fact that the dinner wasn’t kosher, b) Tony, c) Tony’s ex-one-night-stands, d) Tony, e) Steve and Bucky’s “homosexual shenanigans,”, and f) Tony. 

-Once Steve and Bucky found out about her complaints, Bucky walked to the other side of the table, crawled into Steve’s lap, and got thoroughly groped right there at the dinner table; much to the glee of their friends and the horror of the other guests.

-Bruce lost his BPD medication and the rings during the vows; so they had to stop the wedding, calm a very agitated Bruce, and argue for almost fifteen minutes about where the rings had gone before Clint found them via stepping on Bruce’s medication case. Poor Clint only got slugged in the ribs for his troubles.

-No fewer than ten Potts’ accused Tony of only marrying Pepper because she was pregnant (even though she wasn’t). Steve overheard and immediately decided to congratulate the couple on their (fake) baby. Loudly. In front of everyone.

-The DJ canceled last-minute, and so they had to rely on Bucky’s iTunes account for the ceremony and the reception. Unfortunately, Bucky’s taste in music did not coincide with Tony’s at all, and so the two of them got in a fight about it in the middle of everyone else dancing the hora to Selena Gomez and Carly Rae Jepsen. 

-Rhodey, Steve, Natasha, and Maria Hill all gave toasts. All of which were less congratulatory and more “we now have an excuse to poke fun at Tony." 

-Steve passively-aggressively recalled all the times he got made fun of for wanting love and marriage. 

-Rhodey used the phrase "Tony Stank” no fewer than five times and kept giggling to himself afterwards. 

-Natasha got into a memory of when she temp-ed as Pepper’s assistant and kept getting hit on (“You’ve both come so far since then. Now Pepper’s CEO, and Tony’s in the same job as he was, but can occasionally keep it in his pants thanks to her”). 

-Maria’s speech was limited to three lines: “So you’re married now. Good for you, Stark. Potts, you could’ve done better.”

This week’s Jewish character of the week is: Gimli son of Glóin

(Erebor was their home, hard-fought and hard-won, and Gimli didn’t care how far he had to go - he would defend it against the coming dark. He didn’t expect to teach an elf, let alone his Legolas, why the same word was used for Hello, for Goodbye, and for Peace, but it was definitely a bonus.)