how to be a grouch

Sleepless nights

As I mentioned in my post for Nursey Week, I’m from New York City, and by that I mean Manhattan. But I go to school in the mountains, where the most noise we hear at night is the occasional truck passing by. What this all means is that I can barely sleep on breaks now, because it’s too noisy and there are always lights shining through the windows. If Nursey lives on the Upper East Side, he doesn’t have the lights problem, but I’m still going to project my exhaustion on him (with some NurseyDex because of course). Here’s to 4 hours of sleep a night.

It’s the first night of summer break and Nursey is in his childhood bed glaring at the ceiling wondering why his mind is refusing to let him sleep. Maybe it’s the incessant honking of taxis, maybe it’s the way the streetlamp shines directly through the slit in the curtains that can never be fully blocked. Maybe it’s the fact that the smell of cigarettes is filling his room from the assholes smoking on the stoop right below his window. Either way, Nursey’s done. He just wants to sleep, damn it. Heaving what he knows is an overly-dramatic sigh, he rolls onto his back and pulls the sheet over his head.

The phone’s light is harsh against Nursey’s eyes, but he squints at it anyway. 4:37 in the fucking morning. Nursey scowls and goes to Snapchat. If he can’t sleep, he might as well see how other people spent their first night of break. Ransom and Holster are unsurprisingly together, at a motel somewhere along the way to Ransom’s house. Bitty’s Snapstory shows a cute fully-stocked kitchen with a cobbler cooling on the counter; the timestamp says 1:12am. Farmer decided to practically livesnap her and Chowder’s trip to California, and the last photo is of Chowder passed out on the seat of a plane, captioned “we literally just boarded.” Shitty sent Nursey a series of videos at 12:43, smoking, ranting about a case he recently read, and telling Nursey to “get a night of some real sleep you fuckin’ beaut.” Nursey scoffs. Sleep. Right.

But then he gets to Dex’s Snapstory and is surprised to see a timestamp of 4:29am against a black background, captioned “it’s too early for this shit.” Nursey switches over to text and types with one eye open, hits send, and promptly drops his phone on his face.

Me: too early for what?

Nursey isn’t expecting Dex to respond, but a few seconds later his phone is buzzing against his nose from where he left it.

Dexyyy: tf are you doing awake Nurse

Me: idk man what are YOU doing awake

Dexyyy: You’re gonna chirp me and it’s too early to be chirped

Me: awww dexy you take away all my fun

Me: pinky promise i won’t

Dexyyy: Ugh fine. It’s the beginning of lobster season. Gotta start waking up before the spirits go to sleep.

Me: damnnn dex, cant catch a break can you

Dexyyyy: You promised

Me: that was hardly a chirp

Dexyyy: Whatever

Dexyyy: So what the fuck are you doing awake

Me: lol

Me: couldn’t sleep. Too many cars, too much light, too many thoughts

Dexyyy: City boy.

Me: is that supposed to be an insult?

Dexyyy: Don’t know. Maybe?

Me: gotta step up your game, poindexter

Dexyyy: Shut up Nurse

Dexyyy: I gotta go

Me: have fun killing innocent life forms

Dexyyy: Fuck off

Dexyyy: Just go the duck to sleep nursey

Dexyyy: *fuck. Ugh.

Me: lolll

Me: yessir

Me: gnight

Dexyyy: sleep well

Me: zzzzz

It’s 4:48 in the morning. Nursey is contemplating just getting up and starting his day. The pre-dawn light is starting to filter into his room through the curtain, casting a hazy rectangle onto the wall. Nursey gazes at it, thinking about how somewhere a few hundred miles away, Dex is preparing to get on his uncle’s boat and spend the morning hours on the water. Nursey wonders if the sun looks different from Dex’s amber eyes than it does from his own grey-green ones. He closes his eyes, thinking about how he and Dex went from nearly killing each other during the seniors’ graduation ceremony, to texting before the sun came up.

When Nursey opens his eyes, six hours have passed. He stumbles out of bed and stretches until his shoulder pops. Glancing at his phone, he sees three texts from Dex: the first two are sent at 6:26 in the morning, and the last at 11:39.

Dexyyy: Don’t tell Jack but I’d almost rather be doing suicides than fucking fishing for lobster. I smell like bait.

Dexyyy: Didn’t realize how used to cushy college life I’d gotten. I’m getting new blisters.

Dexyyy: Are you still asleep

Nursey realizes he’s smiling at his phone. And since it’s the first day of break and he has nothing to do all day, he’s pressing the call button before he can talk himself out of it. Dex picks up on the third ring.

“Dex!”

“Finally get your ass out of bed?”

“You realize that you have to text me every night now? So I can go to sleep? I only was able to sleep because you told me to.”

“Nursey, what the fuck.”

“C’mon man.”

“No.”

And then they’re off, Nursey asking about Dex’s morning and listening to Dex complain about ‘going soft’ during the year while Nursey rolls his eyes and gets dressed, then Dex grouching about how Nursey doesn’t have anything to do for the summer, and an hour later Nursey finds himself booking bus tickets up to Maine while talking about how they’re going to celebrate Chowder’s birthday that year. He pauses just before hitting the ‘book tickets’ button.

“Dex.”

“Yes?”

“Uh. You sure it’s cool if I come up? I mean, like, dude, this isn’t really…”

“What we do?”

“Yeah.”

“Well. I don’t know. Maybe we should try being friends without Chowder playing middleman.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s chill.”

“Ugh, if say ‘chill’ ONCE I will throw you off a pier.”

“You just want to see me wet.” (Nursey nearly smacks himself for that one.)

“Fuck off, Nurse. We literally see each other soaked in sweat like six days a week.”

“Okay, well, tickets are booked.”

“‘Swawesome. See you in a few days?”

“Yeah man, see you soon.”

And then Nursey is left in a New York City brownstone grinning madly in the middle of his room, thinking how much better this summer has suddenly become.

It’s Not What It Looks Like (Movie!Enoch x Reader)

Summary: When Enoch finds you outside in the middle of the night, cold and homesick, you unintentionally spend the rest of the night in his room. Now you have to suffer the consequences over breakfast.

Warning: Nothing, really? I mean it sounds slightly suggestive, I guess. Also slight fluff, woo (not exactly a warning, but I thought you’d like to know).

Author’s Note: First MPHFPC imagine !! And of course it just had to be Enoch. It’s a bit all over the place but I hope it makes sense. Feedback is appreciated!

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5

Prompto_overload (comic 4)

TRASH panda. 

This was done during Grouch ( @chocobaes )’s streaming today. It was an amazing stream. Thank youuuuu >W< <3

Read: comic guide (updated) || comic 0 || comic 1 || comic 2 || comic 3 || comic 4 || comic 5 || comic 6 || comic 7 || comic 8

can we just talk abt what fem karkat would really look like

bc we all know the whole “playing fem!karkat (karkit)” is usually a preamble to like. triple M boobs and red lipstick and all that bullshit but let’s be real here for a second

imagine fem karkat with the most ridiculous frizzy, curly hair that she’s long since given up on (unless kanaya pounces with some damn hairspray), and it is forever stuck in a ponytail
imagine fem karkat who literally can’t do makeup. the first and only try was in eighth grade and that resulted in some avril lavigne-y eyeliner
imagine fem karkat with every single 3XL shitty walmart hoodie there is
imagine fem karkat grouching about how boobs literally get in the way of everything practical in this mortal life
imagine fem karkat toting a pint sized ice cream around class because “I AM BLEEDING NEAR CONSTANTLY AS A RESULT OF MY REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS SLOUGHING OFF A LAYER OF NUTRITIOUS CELLS FOR A BABY THAT DOESN’T EXIST, AND AS A RESULT HAVE A SPIKE IN HORMONES AND CRAMPS FROM THE DEPTHS OF FUCKING HELL. IF YOU’VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT I WILL GLADLY CUT OFF YOUR OWN GENITALS SO YOU CAN DEVELOP SOME FORM OF EMPATHY.” and lets face it his melodramatic ass would bark at anyone who looked at him halfway funny
imagine fem karkat doing and enjoying things and acting like male karkat because genitals don’t change your entire fucking person

Night Chats- Jack Maynard Imagine

Word Count:907

Request: Could you please do a Jack imagine where you two go out for brunch and then go shopping for Anna’s birthday(June 4th 😂) and he then drops you off at your house and at night you two FaceTime each other and he falls asleep on you? Please 😩😩xxxxx

Author’s Note: I was originally going to post this on Anna’s birthday, but I got the post the day before and I had already planned on posting that Josh one. Oh well!

~~~

“We’ve literally been shopping around for hours! Are we done yet?” your blonde boyfriend whined in the middle of Top Shop.

You and Jack were out shopping for Anna’s birthday last minute, because he told you he was completely useless picking something she would like. So he needed your help.

You nudged Jack’s arm, urging him to stop being a grump. “What are you talking about babe? You love shopping.” You said as you went over to browse some clothing racks.

“I like it when it’s for me.” He admitted with a laugh.

You looked back at him with wide eyes, “Jack come on. It’s her day.”

“I know, I know. It’s her birthday. Fine, I’ll behave.” he sighed.

You grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a quick kiss, “That’s my boy.”

You continued to drag Jack around London all morning, trying to find Anna the perfect present. He put up with a lot of waiting and standing around, all with minimal complaints.

You finally managed to find Anna a beautiful, gold necklace, customized with her name engraved on it. You also got her a gift card to Sephora to get some new makeup, which you knew she would love.

In all the hustle and bustle of shopping, you realized you both hadn’t eaten breakfast. “Jack let’s go get something to eat,” you suggested.

“Oh thank god! I’m starving!” He dramatically threw his hands in the air.

“Yeah you know how I can tell? You’ve been a giant grouch all morning.”

“Shut up.” He glared at you, crossing his arms.

“Aw baby I was just kidding. Let’s get you some food,” giving him a peck on the cheek you two headed towards a restaurant.

 ~~

At brunch

“It sucks you can’t come with me to Mum and Dad’s tonight.”

The Maynards were having a big birthday dinner for Anna back in Brighton. Unfortunately, you had a work meeting early the next morning. Which meant you had to stay home while Jack stayed overnight at his parent’s house.

“I know. I wish I could too, but you need to be there for Anna. Besides, we can celebrate with her this weekend or something.” You said, taking a sip of your coffee.

“That’s true.” Jack reached across the table and put his hand over yours, “Thanks for putting up with my grouchiness and helping me with Anna’s present. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You laced your fingers with his and glanced up at him, “Of course love. And I know.” you playfully rolled your eyes.

~~

After a lovely morning and brunch, Jack dropped you off at your flat. You were bummed you couldn’t go to the party, but you had to prepare for your meeting. Gotta love adulting, right?

Later that night, you were laying in bed wearing one of Jack’s hoodies, scrolling through Twitter when your phone started ringing.

Jack😈💕 would like to FaceTime

You accepted the call to see him laying in bed with a big smile on his face. “Hello gorgeous! You alright there all alone?”

“I guess.” you sighed. “I hate sleeping by myself, but at least I have your hoodie. It’s obviously not the same, but it’s warm and smells like you.” You smiled, nuzzling your face in the sleeve.

“You’re cute, you know that?”

“Yeah I know.” you blushed. “So, how was dinner? Did Anna have a good birthday?”

“Oh yeah. Dinner was good. Would’ve been better if you were here, but she loved her presents. She told me to tell you thank you and she knows you picked them out, because I’m useless.”

You let out a laugh,“Well she’s not wrong.”

“Love you too.” he cried, pouting out his lower lip.

“Oh stop it! You helped picked me pick it out. You’re an amazing brother, okay?” you assured him.

His eyes lit up, “Thanks gorgeous. That means a lot.”

You both smiled at each other and then let out a big yawn.

 Anna’s POV

I ran upstairs to go to bed, I couldn’t wait to sleep. It had been an amazing, but very long day. A birthday to remember.

As I was walking to go to my room, I saw Jack’s light on and his door cracked open. Curiously, I popped my head in to see Jack sprawled out on his stomach, fast asleep with his phone in his hand. I laughed to myself. That boy was always on his phone.

I tip toed over to his bedside, trying to be as quiet as possible so I wouldn’t wake him. I carefully reached for his phone to put it on the nightstand to charge. When I successfully managed to grab it, I noticed the facetime screen was open. Taking a closer look, I realized it was (Y/N). Like Jack, she was sound asleep.

How cute

I set the phone down, pulled at the blanket, and laid it over my sleeping brother. Once he was tucked in, I walked back over to the nightstand to get the phone. Then I set one of the spare pillows next to Jack’s head and placed the iPhone on top.

Reaching in my back pocket, I took my phone out to take a picture of them. This was definitely Twitter worthy.

I tweeted out the picture, it read:

As I turned to go out the door, I looked back at them one last time. “Goodnight guys. Sleep tight. Love you.”

Here’s what I never understand about that BT Infinity advert where the little girl loses her bird while skyping her granddad. 

Why does she thank him at the end? Is there a longer version that I haven’t seen in which he advises her how to find the bird? Am I just being a grouch? 

Anyway. 

Smile (Derek x Reader)

My first request! I am super excited about this, I just hope it’s good enough. I tried to do what you wanted, I really hope you enjoy it :)

Warning(s): Fluff, very very slight angst

Word Count: 1,035

“Derek, please?” You looked up at him, using your big sad eyes. Your lips started to pout just the smallest bit, and you knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. He never could when you pouted. He looked up at you from the bed, his green eyes looking over you. When his gaze fell on your lips, he sighed softly and ran his fingers through his hair.


“Fine. But not for too long, okay? I don’t want to spend all day there.” He grumbled while throwing the sheets off of him, a bright smile pulling your lips out of the pout.


“Really? Thank you, I promise you won’t be bored or anything.” You watched as he went to the dresser, opening a drawer to look for a shirt. You couldn’t help but admire the way his muscled back moved like perfection. He raised a brow, looking back at you with a black v neck in his hand.


“Firstly, I’m not gonna have fun. You know I don’t like going out, there’s too much danger. Secondly, I can feel you staring.” He started towards the bathroom, and a light blush burned your cheeks. Before he closed the door, you couldn’t help but comment on his statement.


“Firstly, if you keep being such a downer, I may just have to start calling you Debbie. Secondly, can you blame me? I have a hot boyfriend, of course I’m going to stare.” You smiled at him admiringly, and he closed the door before you could see his angry blush. You giggled and went downstairs to wait for him since you had already gotten ready earlier. You had been trying to convince him for at least an hour before he finally caved, so you decided to do your hair and makeup during the mainly one sided discussion.


~~~


“So, where are we going exactly?” Derek had asked while you two climbed into his car. You sat in the seat, then eyed him with curiosity and the slightest bit of irritation.


“Were you listening at all? I mean, I was only talking about it for an hour, you dork.” You smiled softly, lightly hitting his arm with your palm. He just looked back, checking for any oncoming cars. You sighed, leaning back in the seat. You understood that he was weary of exposing himself and anyone else in the pack to whatever enemy comes along that month, but you didn’t want him to forget what it’s like to have fun and go outside.


He started driving, silence filling the air between you two. You reached for the radio, turning it on so you didn’t feel so awkward. Music replaced the silence, and you couldn’t help but start to hum along. Before long, you were dancing along to the upbeat song, laughing gently at yourself. Derek glanced over as they pulled up to a red light, nothing but admiration in his otherwise reserved eyes. When you looked over at him, he looked back at the light, making sure he didn’t miss the green to go. You kept your glance on him for a few more seconds before once again leaning back in the seat.


Derek couldn’t help but feel tense. The last time he went out, his pack got torn apart. His alpha status had been ripped away from him, down to a beta status. He lost friends, and more than once, his romantic partners had always left in one way or another, whether that be death or any other way. He couldn’t fathom the thought of losing you, though. You had changed his life for the better, made him realize his true potential. You were his anchor, and he never thought he’d find you. But when he did, he vowed to never put you in danger. You just didn’t understand that, and he couldn’t explain it to you because he didn’t know how. He figured you just thought he was a grouch all of the time.

~~~


When you two got to the mall, you got out and immediately walked over to the driver’s side. Derek turned the car off, getting out as well. He looked down at you after he closed the door, his arm wrapping around your waist. You reached up and cupped his strong jaw with your hands, running the pad of your thumb over his cheekbone. He leaned into your hand slightly, keeping his eyes on you. You smiled softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him.


“At least try to have fun,” you asked, leaning your head against his chest. He rested his chin on the top of your head, sighing softly.


“I’ll try. For you.” You pulled away, smiling up at him before taking his hand and pulling him along. You suddenly got excited again, going into the building. Derek looked around, his guard quickly going up.


He tried to make the outing good for you. He wanted very badly to make sure you had a good time. He couldn’t help it that when every time someone made a quick movement, he had to repress his urges to attack. As you two went past the fountain, he sat down on the edge of it. You stopped walking, noticing him. You frowned slightly, squatting down in front of him. He looked up at you, looking as grumpy as ever. You had an idea of what was going on, and you wished he would just have fun. He had been a sourwolf ever since he got up. He saw the look on your face and sighed.


“Y/N, I’m sorry-” he began to speak, but you pressed your lips against his before he could finish. He immediately relaxed, pulling you closer to him. Your hand raised up from his neck into his hair, comfortingly massaging his scalp. When you two pulled away, a smile lit up his face, and you couldn’t help but smile back.


“There’s that smile.” You giggled, resting your forehead against his. He kissed your cheek before standing up, pulling you up with him.


“Hey, didn’t you want to check out that one place for new clothes?” He wondered, a soft smile on his face. You nodded, and he started walking towards the small shop.  

wild-dreaming  asked:

57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?” For minicat?!

This was my first minicat, so it’s probably terrible, also this turned out a bit longer than anticipated, sorry! 


It’s rare that they get the chance to all meet up, the few times it’s happened were nothing but chaos, and apparently, this time proves to be the same.

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Bedridden

Imagine Dean taking care of you when you’re on your period.

Requested By: sammat97

Word Count: 983


A thin strip of light grew from your doorway and Dean’s head peaked through the opening, the top of his hair and one side of his face just barely illuminated. He hesitated a moment before creeping in as quietly as he could, leaving the door cracked open. You could faintly hear Sam clattering around in the kitchen from down the hall.

“Feeling better?” Dean whispered, unsure if you were awake or not.

“Not really,” you groaned, “but I’ll be fine.”

You had cocooned yourself under the covers all day, letting the fabric drown out all the light and sound of the world.  From the moment you woke you knew this was going to be a miserable day, but you were stubborn as hell and had tricked yourself into thinking you could get through the morning with no problems. About an hour you had survived, before you doubled over from pain in the middle of the kitchen and muttered something about a stomach ache to an alarmed Sam and Dean.

From there you decided to endure your cramps in the comfort of your own bed, listening to the rain as it pounded against your window. The covers were kicked on and off you in a vicious cycle of too hot and too cold. You layed there for what seemed like hours and still couldn’t manage to find comfort. Normally you got through this time of the month with little to no problems, but this time Mother Nature was being a real bitch.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Dean sighed. “We need to get you into the doctor.” He sat down on the edge of your bed and you could feel the weight of his hand on your leg through the mountains of blankets you had piled on.

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I JUST WATCHED DUCKTALES

HI I’M DYING?

To be coherent for four seconds; the animation was amazing, the music was great, the characters were phenomenal. The story was pretty damn great and THAT ENDING?

I love how Donald is bitter as hell over Scrooge and also father of the fucking year. I love Webby’s new character. I love the individualized triplets instead of them being one hivemind, and how them being individuals actually ends up part of the plot. I love how Scrooge is a crusty old grouch who comes to appreciate his family more. I love how Launchpad is exactly the same. I’m pretty sure I will love Beakly’s new character, too. I loved the humor; I laughed several times watching this and chuckled many more times. I wasn’t even considering how loud my laughter might get because I was so amused I forgot it was one in the morning and that I might wake anyone.

And the ending. They’re going places with this ending. I can’t wait to see it. I love this cartoon how am I gonna survive until near the end of September to see the next one.

Anyone else just sometimes stop and think about Joe Toye in Day of Days?


Like how he knew where they were and that they’d be coming up on a bridge ahead because he studied the sand tables?
Or how he shot a horse to put it out of its misery?
Or how he tried to reason with Guarnere, his best buddy, who was grouching about Winters?
Or how he tried to make a joke (that I’m still not 100% sure I get) to Malarkey after he’d been fraternizing with the enemy?

Or how he jumped into the trenches and almost got blown up, twice! First time because he was helping Popeye (I think?) the second time was kind of his fault (I think he’s the one that ran into Buck?)?
Or how he punched a surrendering soldiers with his brass knuckles?
Or how he offered Winters booze and Winters accepted?
Or how he doesn’t know what a Mennonite is?

Or just how he’s a good, smart, brave person and soldier?
Anyone else think about that as much as I do?