how to barbecue

3

i do this. this is final pam. you remember how your backyard barbecue go, the smiths. pretty good it doesn’t seem. haha, i tell little joke.

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n͎̼̦̻̠͍͕̓̅͛̄͌̚͟͟e̴̛̟̫̬͉͔̫̊͂̉́̀̚x̴̨̤͖̹̜̜͖̮̪̲͒̂̐́̔̐͘̚͞t͕̩̹͍̥̅̐̍̓͑̕ ṱ̶̝͇͖̖́̈͊͋͘i̴̡̞̮̳̘̰̝̅͒̌͆͢͝͠m̢͚͉͈̫͔̞̼͗͐̅̏͊͢͡ͅe̶͚̦̖̩̳̳̳̝̯̔̄͒͑̆ ÿ̨̭̱̹͍͖̻̩́̊͋̽̄̋̑̂̔͡ơ̵̢̩͖̙̳̹͕͓̥͙̋̾̒̌̀́̕̕u̸̻̙̣̲̝̱̳̾̽̑̍̑̆̒̑͘͠ i̠͕̹̙͍̎̊̓̽̿̃́́͞͠ņ̴̻̱͈̭͚̾̿̈̓̃̄̿̕͝͝ͅv̸̱̠̫̭̩͔̫̰̽̔̈̽̆͆͒͟͜i̛̲͕͚̩͒́͊̈́͗̚͟t̡̨̛̻̲̩̲̬͐͐̌̋̍̂̈́̅͟ȩ̴̳̟̰̾̾͂̊̋͜͠ p͇̦̠̙̼̻̅̌͑̍̑͑̽̕ą̛̘̞̭̬̒̒̄͋̇̋̊̀͒m̡̪̬̖̓͐̈̋̽̽̇̒͜͟͝

The signs as Monster Factory moments
  • Aries: The Arbys witch
  • Taurus: When The Boy Mayor could not stop dancing
  • Gemini: When the Bee Movie creation came back as an enemy
  • Cancer: Just Like Bart
  • Leo: "I think dogs should be able to vote!"
  • Virgo: Their reactions every time they find the similar face feature
  • Libra: "How does your backyard barbecue go, The Smiths? Pretty good, it does not seem. Haha. I tell little joke. Next time you invite Pam."
  • Scorpio: When they named a guard 'bookshelf' and put a book on him and said nothing
  • Sagittarius: Succotash gliding to 'On the Wings of Love'
  • Capricorn: Everyone started yelling "Totinos"
  • Aquarius: Shrek nipples
  • Pisces: A Chiquita Dave beach party
Do Something Already

A Shawn Mendes one shot. Requested by @alone-in-madness

Request: I think i already respuest something but i have another idea🤐😂 you and shawn hate each other so much (secretely in love but things that happened wont let you love each other) but your families are so close, you go in a trip together and because of some mistake you have to share rooms. in the middle of a fight, somehow you end having crazy passionate craving hungerly type of sex and you confess feelings ❤❤❤ LOVE U

A/N: I still don’t think I’m any good at smut, but let me know what you think :)

WARNING: SMUT


It was the weekend I dreaded every summer. I felt like some dumb, stereotypically angsty teenager, but I genuinely didn’t want to go on this family trip. While Muskoka was beautiful, it was also boring. All my friends were still in Toronto for the long weekend, while I was being forced to spend my time at a rented cottage with my family and the family of my parents’ friends.

The son of my parents’ friends was my age, which means you’d think after all this time being forced to hang out together we’d become friends, but in fact the opposite was true. Shawn was the scum of the earth, and the reason I dreaded going so much for what had become an annual tradition. It didn’t matter how good looking he was or how nice he was to his younger sister or the passion he put into his music, he was still an asshole. I felt my stomach drop when I saw him come outside with the rest of his family once we’d arrived at the cottage. 

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anonymous asked:

do you have any favourite monster factory quotes??

This is good timing, because I’m about to start a series of gifs on MF quotes soon!

From the top of my head, in random order:

(Also, these are mostly from older episodes, I’m little behind on newer ones or saw some of them just once)

  • “Daddy like a pretty baby?”
  • “This is not a mean spirited show. It’s about taking things that are initially horrifying and finding the beauty within.”
  • “Don’t get your face blood on my new diesels.”
  • “I taste with my skin. How do you taste?”
  • “What’s up everybody? I think Dogs should vote!”
  • “Hello perverts.”
  • “If you make my nose this small I can’t smell your sins, daddy.”
  • “LOOK AT HIS GUMMY WORKS!!!”
  • Griffin’s “SCUUUUUUSI?”
  • “This is like the ending of Akira.”
  • “I gave you a task, I am your God. You chat with boys!”
  • “Cream faced - business boy”
  • “Ready to smash some meat together until we create some genuine wrestle boys?”
  • “This is not a house for boys”
  • “You can’t knock this boy with a pale of water.”
  • “Glide, my beautiful boy!”
  • “Pizza crime is eternal.”
  • “This is a crime and it’s punishable by crime.”
  • “No middle sliders.”
  • “Backpack for his applesauce.”
  • “It’s William Wright. I want to show you me beautiful spores!”
  • “I’m Bethany Esda. This is my indie game.”
  • “JACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!”
  • “OOOPS! OH NO! OH OH. OOPISE DAISY!”
  • “Put this one back in the oven!”
  • “A LITTLEEEEEEEEEE BOY!”
  • “Bikes have killed this entire family.”
  • “Why would you play an MMO if you didn’t want to trade vape secrets?”
  • “No rules, just right.”
  • “Post Joker-fication Allison Janney.”
  • “NOT TODAY MONSTER FACTORY BOYS!”
  • “It’s your favorite guy, ROACHIEEEEEE!”
  • “I take a hammer and fix the baby.”
  • “YOU REMEMBER HOW YOUR BARBECUE GO, THE SMITHS? PRETTY GOOD IT DOESN’T SEEM! NEXT TIME YOU INVITE PAM!”
  • “Hello, metal husband!”
  • “JUST LIKE BART!”
  • “Take it to the bank, boys.”
  • “IT"S SUCCOTASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
  • “The soul still burnsssssssssssssss.”

This is all I can remember right now…

+ the entirety of the “Every time they say “boy” on Monster Factory”
and pretty much the whole creation process of The Final Pam.

BabyDaddy!Cal Pt. 4

A/N: I had wrote this before I even finished Pt.3 so it’s been ready to post lmao. I’m finally giving you all the much requested smut so I hope y'all are satisfied for now. Imma start on 5 so, the quicker this gets to 100 notes with feedback the quicker it comes. Hope y'all love bugs enjoy💕

I know I could of ended it better but I couldn’t think of a good way, sorry.

OH and I’m just starting a diet today and boiiii…let’s see how long I can last lmaoo.

**WARNING**: Smut (blowjob to be specific)


Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six,seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty{END}


“It’s about damn time you got a new hairstyle.”

“Well, excuse me for embracing my natural curls, Connor.” You snorted as the blonde rolled his eyes at you.“ I can’t believe you’re seriously dying your hair.”

“I can’t believe I let you pick the color.” Connor laughed.“If I walk out of here looking crazy, Y/N, I’m going to kill you.”

“Deadass?” You challenged and he gave you the eye.

“Deadass."he attempted to copy your accent and both you and your hairstylist laughed.

The complications of finding a black hairstylist in a salon that doesn’t overcharge in Australia was complicated. Usually you paid no more than eighty dollars for someone like your cousin, your friend’s aunt, or even someone’s mother to do your hair in the comforts of their home. You had been coming to your stylist, Kim, every since you’ve moved here and she had never let you down. She understood the struggle of African American hair and you didn’t trust anyone else to come near your head.

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anonymous asked:

I love your writing so much if you're still doing robron prompts could you do the first time they get heckled in the street by homophobes for like holding hands or kissing or something and who you'd think would react worse I'm in a really angsty mood and want to make myself cry ahaa

It’s a completely normal, average day when it happens. They’re in Tesco, Aaron leaning on the trolley as they browse the aisles, aimlessly chatting about what they want for dinner, and if they should get some beers in (Aaron is talking about how he fancies a barbecue, the weather was supposed to be good that weekend, and there was nothing like some burgers and an endless supply of beer in the sun to start a weekend right.)

“You forgot your biscuits,” Robert said, depositing a double pack of chocolate bourbons into their trolley, leaning in to press a kiss to Aaron’s lips. It was something he’d done a thousand times in public now, less and less anxiety about being open, and proud of who he was and who he was married to sitting heavily in his chest.

And then he hears it.

“That’s disgusting, right where people can see n’all. Have they got no shame?”

Robert freezes.

Robert freezes, and feels sick to his stomach as the words ring in his mind, the world spinning around him as he looks around for the source of the comment. Theres another man, standing by the biscuits, a friend in tow, and he’s looking at them with genuine disgust in his eyes.

“You want to say that again?” Aaron was defensive immediately, face red and hands balled into fists as he glares at the stranger. “Go on, I fucking dare ya, say it again.”

Before the stranger could make another comment, there’s a manager standing between them, a young looking woman who tries her best to ease the situation before gets out of hand.

Robert stands, frozen, as the manager tries to direct the stranger on, tries to placate Aaron with kind words and the promise of a money off voucher for their shopping.

“I don’t want a voucher,” Aaron is trying to be calm, but anger oozes from his every pore, every inch of him. He’s practically bristling, ready for a fight, ready to defend himself and their marriage. “I want to do my shopping with my husband and not have ignorant pricks like ‘im try and tell me I’m disgusting.”

He’s standing up for them.

He’s standing up for them, both of them, and Robert’s frozen to his spot on the aisle, one hand gripping the cool metal of the trolley slightly. Robert can only watch, as Aaron has a few more words with the manager and accepts her apology with a furrowed brow, and Robert’s barely even able to put one foot in front of the other as they head for the checkouts, Aaron giving him a worried look as he hands his card over, paying for the shopping Robert had haphazardly thrown into the trolley.

He doesn’t even really remember doing it.

All he remembers is those strangers words.

Disgusting.

Right where people can see.

Have they no shame?

Disgusting.

“Robert?” Aaron’s hands are on his face now, familiar hands on his cheeks, his neck, something that should make him feel calm, feel safe, but he just wants to panic, is afraid that stranger might be close by, might say something, or God, do something -

“I froze,” Robert blurted, hating how upset he felt, hating how he couldn’t react. “I didn’t say anything. I just stood there, and I took it.”

“Hey, you didn’t have to say anything,” Aaron shook his head. “We don’t have to defend what we have to any ignorant bastard who can’t keep his mouth shut in Tesco. Yeah? You don’t need to defend us to anyone.”

“But you did,” Robert mumbled, throat thick with tears he was refusing to cry. He wasn’t going to break down in a Tesco fucking carpark, with a bag of oranges in one hand and a trolley half full of beer next to him.

“You know me, always looking for a fight,” Aaron tried to joke, prising the shopping Robert was holding from him, dumping it in the boot. “It’s okay, Robert - I get how terrifying it can be to have someone be like that.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah,” Aaron’s voice was soft, tired, as though he’d been through this a thousand times. “I’ve been out for a lot longer than you have.”

Of course.

“Does it ever hurt less?” Robert asked, gaze dropping to the floor, to his shoes, the concrete he was standing on suddenly very interesting.

“No.”

Robert looked up sharply, the sick feeling rising in his stomach again. Was this going to be the rest of his life, off hand comments in Tesco telling him he was disgusting for loving another man and daring to not be ashamed of it?

“But you get a thick skin,” Aaron said, emptying the last of their shopping into the boot. “And no one, no one is ever going to make me feel ashamed of loving you, I’m not to let them win.”

Robert imagined for a second, what it would feel like to hide, to be ashamed again, to keep his love, his husband behind closed doors, to only love him where no one else could see, and he held his head a little higher, stood a little prouder. 

“I’m not letting them win either,” Robert declared, giving Aaron’s hip a squeeze, reaching into his trouser pocket for the car keys, not caring who saw. “I’m proud of who we are.”

itsthesinbin  asked:

Can I have (poly) Roadrat, (separate) Zenyatta, D Va, and maybe Hanzo (if that's too many characters than u dont have to do Hanzo) going to a family dinner to meet their fem s/o's big family? I live with my Granny, two aunts, two uncles, three cousins, my cousin's two toddlers and my dog lol, and I like to think about things like that. Thank u in advance, and if you end up deciding not to do it, just know this is still one of my fave blogs! <3

Junkrat and Roadhog


  • They are recognized as soon as you enter the house
    • There’s some awkward silence before Junkrat just pipes up
      • “Anyone ready for some barbecue?”
  • Roadhog keeps and eye on Junkrat
    • Make sure he doesn’t cause any property damage
  • Junkrat just chatters to your grandma
    • Talking about how to perfectly barbecue stuff
      • You said no explosions or mentions of them
  • Roadhog sits ther
    • Just gruffly staring at Junkrat
      • Occassionally chiming in
    • He’ll pet the dog though
      • He gonna love that dog
  • Junkrat is surprisingly good with children
    • You just need to keep explosions away from them

Zenyatta


  • He just floats there as they ask him questions
    • About the Shambali and how you met
    • He answers them goodnaturedly
    • His response are generally talking about you
      • He is enamoured
  • When he sees the dog he’s cooing to it
    • Gently stroking it’s head
  • The children are enamoured with him
    • As  he patiently watches them
    • Just letting them crawl all over him.

D.va


  • She knows this is important to you
    • So on her best behavour
  • She’ll talk to the older relatives on what she does
    • Letting them know about the streams
  • She’ll play video games with the children
    • Letting them win
    • They’re just loving her
    • Constantly showing their toys to her
  • She’s just so cheerful that they all love her immediately

Hanzo


  • He is in no way prepared for this
    • He aggreed knowing how important it was to you
    • But he is not good at being around people
  • He stands there awkwardly as they asking questions
    • Giving gruff one word answers
    • He just has never been more than the murderer his parents raised him to be
  • However he quickly earns their affection near the end of the nihgt
    • As he pulls you close and just holds you there
    • They’re swayed by his love for you