new show idea: anthony bourdain and gordon ramsay travel the united states visiting hole-in-the-wall dives with bomb-ass food. bourdain picks out the restaurants and spends the first however-long of the episode talking up how fucking amazing this place is. when they get there it is always in a strip mall, or a shack in the woods, or a trailer under an overpass. ramsay is constantly scared and confused. bourdain is usually also scared and confused but pretends he is actually cool with whatever, in keeping with every other show he has ever done.
shots from every episode:
bourdain completely terrified by ramsay’s driving
bonus points if ramsay refuses to just drive a normal car like a normal fucking person
the look of horror and resignation on ramsay’s face when he sees where they’re going to be eating
ramsay taking in every possible health code violation
bourdain’s poorly-contained sadistic glee at the look on ramsay’s face
at least one scene that is more censor beeps than audible dialogue
ramsay’s vindication when bourdain ends up trapped in the bathroom shitting his guts out
bourdain’s complete lack of remorse and insistence that it was completely worth it
A/N: Not that anyone cares I’ve been hella busy and haven’t had time to literally write anything and I still really don’t, but I’m going to anyways bc I have some inspiration. Enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated(:
Characters: Dean x sister!reader, Sam x sister!reader
Warnings: swearing, angst, overprotective Dean, mention of death, yelling, very close relationship b/w Dean and reader? let me know if I missed anything
Tagging: @winchesters-favorite-girl because I think she might be interested and I really love and look up to her as a writer. I hope you don’t mind.
You loved your brothers more than anything in the world. I mean, you were practically raised by them. John was never around, your mom was just some quick fuck that John had on a hunt. As soon as demons got word that John Winchester knocked up some chick and he had another child, they came and killed your mother when you were only a few months old. Thankfully, your mom got John on the phone as they were trying to get in and he was in town so he saved you. Not your mom though. Dean had been 16 at the time, Sam was 12. You were by far the baby of the family and Sam and Dean made it their mission to protect you from everything. And when I say everything, I mean literally everything. You were never even supposed to have been born. But nevertheless, here you were seventeen years later, alive and kicking, living in the bunker with Sam and Dean, the two best brothers in the entire world.
The text came in at 7:17am, and in the mean time, Stiles had made his way through four and a half breakdowns, all of them for different reasons.
Number One: Male werewolves could get pregnant, and tying into that:
Number Two: Derek had never found it relevant to their two year relationship to share this fun fact. That didn’t say much as to his thoughts on their future together, which stung.
Number Three: Stiles was going to be a father at twenty-four.
Number Four: Just the night before, with Derek in Argentina visiting Cora, Stiles ate a dinner of Cheetos, plain microwaved hotdogs wrapped in bread, and four beers before passing out on the couch with the tv remote in his hand. He was not ready to be a father.
Number Five (still ongoing, more or less halfway through): They were going to have to move because no amount of corner guards or stupid little outlet plugs could childproof the loft. The door to the kitchen was literally a jagged hole in a brick wall. Stiles caught his shins on it regularly, they were always a mess of scabs and bruises.
Actually his entire body was a mess of scabs and bruises, because that was his life now, had been since sophomore year: fighting off the forces of supernatural evil.
Too bad he couldn’t childproof his life.
Oh god, they were going to have to move out of Beacon Hills. Away from the pack.
Nothing was stable in Beacon Hills, it had been eight years of panic and anxiety and near deaths and actual deaths. They couldn’t bring a baby into their current lives, Stiles wouldn’t even bring an adult into this hellhole. Who was trained in firearms. With combat experience.
Does anyone else wish they’d just dedicate a whole episode to Sam and Dean shopping for their disguises? How does it work exactly? Dean driving around, looking for a store in whatever random ass town they’re in, with a scowl, “What the hell does a social worker even wear?”
Sam shrugging, “I don’t know, man, cardigans?”
“Really, Sam? Cardigans? What am I, Mr. Rogers?”
“Kids like Mr. Rogers.”
“You liked Mr. Rogers,” Dean huffs, squinting as he looks for any sign of a store. “Where the fuck are we supposed to get cardigans?”
“How the hell should I know? Woolworths? Is that still a thing?”
Dean muttering as they walk around the mall, dodging teenagers, and trying to find anything that resembles a cardigan, “I’m too old for this bullshit.”