how the hell are we going to survive

MBTI types and John Green (books) Quotes

INFP: You like someone who can’t like you back because unrequired love can be survived in a way that once required love cannot (~Will Grayson, Will Grayson)

ENFP: We need breve be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken (~Looking for Alaska)

ISFP: As long as we don’t die, this is going to be one hell of a story (~Paper Towns)

ESFP: I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend (~The Fault In Our Stars)

INFJ: You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you’ll escape one day. And how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going. But you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present (~Looking for Alaska)

ENFJ: Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters (~Will Grayson, Will Grayson)

INTP: It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, fill to bursting and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined (~Paper Towns)

ENTP: I’m like grenade and at some point I’m going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualities, okay? (~The Fault in Our Stars)

ISFJ: You don’t remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened (~An Abudance of Katherines)

ESFJ: The marks humans leave are too often scars (~The Fault in our stars)

INTJ: I get it now. I get it. The things you hope for the most are the things that destroy you in the end (~Will Grayson, Will Grayson)

ENTJ: Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war (~Looking For Alaska)

ISTJ: If people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane (~Looking for Alaska)

ESTJ: What matters to you defines your mattering (~An Abundance of Katherines)

ISTP: As long as we don’t die, this is going to be one hell of a story (~Paper Towns)

ESTP: What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable? (~An Abundance of Katherines)

I need god
Not like “invisible man in the sky” God
Not like “sitting for hours being told how to think” God
Not like “stand in line like the rest” God

I need “sitting in the park staring at birds” god
like “isn’t this life a trip” god
like “this moment right here” god
like “chocolate and laughter and orgasm and ocean waves and moments of connection” god
Like “billions of years this rock floated in space and here I am” god
Like “standing in Rite Aid and this baby looked right at me and just smiled” god
Like “look how we survive all the pain and still we heal” god

And y'all need to find god
If you tear people down
If you think I’m going to hell
for accepting and loving all the queer butch femme that I am
For wanting balance
for knowing that restricting myself
To fit into a black and white world is no way to live, really live

You need to find god if you condemn me
For not needing to be commanded
to love my neighbor
Not like “love the sinner hate the sin” love
I love you
Like “you have infinite complexity within you” love
Like “I hope you find peace of mind” love

But you need to find god
if you think you’re above anyone
Just because your colonized mind
tries to manifest destiny into my space
Just because you have a story
where I came from a man’s rib in a magic garden one day

I know a story too where
We were once born from primordial waters
We were once migrating from the Sahara
We were once charting the stars
Before the lie that is borders
and fences and ownership and greed
Before the lie than any one man held the truth,
some divine secret
As if all that power was for us
and not actually to own our devotion
Like you’d be rewarded after life
if you put up with suffering under their feet
instead of questioning that power

My problem is not with god, but with man
Have your faith if you choose
Let me find truth,
that’s all I need
I get closer to it every day,
I search for it
breath it in when I can
That’s all the god I need

—  Finding God, Christina O.
The Man in the Tower Part One (bucky x reader)

Summary: Bucky escapes his handlers and runs through a forest, finding safety in an abandoned tower. What happens when a town girl finds him? Can he trust her enough to finally set foot on ground level again?

Word Count: 1.3K

Warnings: mentions of abuse/torture, swearing, imprisonment

Feedback is wanted. Please leave a comment.

The Man in the Tower Masterlist

Bucky ran. He ran as fast as his toned legs would carry him. He’d been running nearly nonstop away from his handlers back at what was once his home. His numbs were numb and painful. But he couldn’t stop. He had to keep going. No matter if his legs ripped away from his body. He had to keep running. He’d run forever if it meant he’d be far away from HYDRA and the torture they’d put him through. It was the only thing on his mind.

He’d been on the run from HYDRA. They’d used him as a weapon to kill and rape and murder whomever they’d wished. Bucky became a monster over the last several decades. He was a wanted man. Governments all over the world wanted him dead. Civilians searched high and low for him to gain the monumental reward for his capture. He’s destroyed homes and families without his own consent. He’s hurt too many people to have a clear conscience.

The images of his own hands wrapping around the throats of the innocent as their cries filled the air around him still haunted his dreams whenever he dared to sleep. Hydra had been cruel to him. They tortured him. They bullied him. They broke him into fragments only to glue him back together and break him again and again. But finally, he finally. He was nowhere near safety; thy’d been gaining in distance for a while now. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to run.

Keep reading

Feigning The Connection

Prompt: You seem so invincible. But just touch you and you’ll wince. You have secrets and trust no one. You’re the perfect example of betrayal. Because anyone you’ve ever trusted broke you. Thrust into a new world, will you be able to stay alone, or will Bellamy work his way in.

A/N: So by far number one was leading in the polls, and i’m super excited as I always see these type of stories on the Bellamy Blake Imagine tag and have always wanted to do one. This will of course be a Bellamy x reader but will also follow all canon plots of the series. THIS WILL BE A LONG SERIES. SUPER LONG. Sometimes I might combine two episodes or skip one because that episode (in my opinion) wasn’t as important.

BUT BE WARNED, I will not continue this story if no one wants. Each chapter i’d like at least one or two people letting me know to continue on to the next. I don’t want to put all my effort into a story no one wants to continue to read when I could be putting it towards ones you’d guys like more. But if people want it, i’ll happily oblige to continue it. I am very excited for this story!

I will also try to upload the chapters every few days or once a week!

Based off of: The 100 01x01

Pairing: Bellamy x Reader

Warnings: none.


Originally posted by darlinglostcrank

Your palms were sweaty, extremely sweaty though you paid no mind to the sweat that trickled down your skin as your head rattled against the head of your seat. Strapped in, nothing much could move except for the annoying shake of your head and the rumble of your own stomach.

Yells of panic could be heard around you but you paid no mind as you closed your eyes and tried to stay focused on keeping calm. Being thrust to the ground with only quite literally a moments notice was not exactly how you expected the day to go. No, you expected to be left in your cell for the day and to make no human contact whats so ever. Instead, you were roughly man-handled by the guards, knocked out and woke up to find yourself on a ship.

Apparently, you and the rest of the delinquents around you were the test subjects for the ‘good commoners’ up in space. You didn’t care. There was no one up there looking out for you or waiting for you, the only thing that annoyed you was that you were being used as a lab rat for some kind of ‘is earth in-habitual’ test.

Suddenly the rattling stopped and you heard a click as you felt your restraints loosen. Opening your eyes, you unlocked yourself, nearly being knocked over as a girl with blonde hair ran past you and crouched on the ground. “Finn, is he breathing?” You heard her frantically ask, and with curious eyes, you allowed yourself to walk over to her and the boy ‘Finn’, finding an unmoving body below them.

“The outer doors on the lower level.” A distant voice said and suddenly there was a mass of people rushing towards the doors. You faintly heard the same girl from before try to warn them that we couldn’t open the doors, at least not quite yet. 

“Bellamy?” Turning your head, you watched as a brunet haired girl rushed over to one of the guards. Everyone fell quite as the two hugged and shared a sentimental moment, you turned your head at the sight, slightly uncomfortable. The same girl from before quickly interrupted the moment though; “hey why aren’t you wearing a bracelet?”

“Do you mind? I haven’t seen my brother in a year:” 

Murmurs suddenly echoed as every one began naming the brunet girl. “No one has a brother.”

“That’s Octavia Blake.”

You saw her face contort in anger and with a sigh, you shoved your way forward. “Would you all shut up? What the hell does it matter.” You grumbled and with another sigh, you turned back to Bellamy and apparently Octavia. You’d heard the stories. The girl hidden under the floor, but honestly you didn’t understand what the big idea was. She was just like every other person.

You made eye contact with Bellamy as he regarded you with guarded eyes before smiling and turning to his sister. “Let’s give them something else to remember you by, huh? Maybe the first person to walk on earth in a hundred years.”

Your heart began to beat frantically again. Just outside those doors was earth. No space. No space station. No cell. Soon enough, you heard a creak and you had to squint your eyes as the brightness from the sun slightly burned. You were use to darkness and stars, not blue skies and a yellow sun.

There was silence as Octavia walked forward slowly, and she took the final jump down onto earth. You let a small smile slip as she cheered and everyone began running off the ship and onto the ground. You waited for the crowd to disperse before you yourself step off. The fresh air was something you never experienced before, and on the Ark it always felt constricted, here if felt as if you could breath perfectly fine.

You laughed, rejoicing in the way the wind moved your hair slightly back and you felt as if you could finally breathe. You rejoiced in the way you could hear cheers from around you, and looked over to see every other delinquent laughing. It made your heart feel warm and allowing your gaze to wash over, you let your curiosity take over as the same blonde girl from before walked off. 

Walking off from the others, you followed behind her shortly reaching her. Stepping forward, you opened your mouth to speak before a voice cut you off; “why so serious princess?” The blonde girl turned, finally regarding the newcomer and you. You turned yourself finding ‘Finn’ or at least that’s what you remembered being his name, standing beside you. “It’s not like we died in a fiery explosion.”

She shook her head and look towards you, you shrugged; “he’s not wrong.”

“Try telling that to the two boys who followed you out of there seat.” She shot back to him and you stifled a laugh. Finn glared at you playfully and you shook your head, 

“You don’t like being called princess, do you princess?” 

The girl shook her head, “see that peak over there?”

“Yeah.” You replied, stepping up beside the two. 

“Mount Weather. There’s a radiation soaked-forest between us and our next meal.” With wide eyes, you turned towards the mountain and felt your heart sink. You shared a look with the two beside you as the girl grumbled; “they dropped us on the wrong damn mountain.


“We’re on the ground.” Looking up from your hands, you shot up at the group that had crowded around the blonde girl, who you learned was Clarke and Wells, who you’d recently met. Walking up to the crowd, you stopped beside Bellamy and Octavia.

“We need to find Mount Weather.” Wells explained. “You heard my fathers message, that has to be our first priority.”

“Screw your father.” 

“I agree with Wells.” You said, stepping up. Octavia’s eyes fell on you and with a roll of her eyes, “who the hell are you anyway?”

“Y/N.” You replied, shaking your head. “Wells is right. Mount Weather is our only source of food. We need to get to Mount Weather. Not because his father said so but because the longer we wait, the hungrier we’ll get. How long do you think we’ll survive without supplies?” You asked, referring to the whole group. 

Clarke stepped up beside you, placing her hand on your shoulder. “We’re looking at a twenty mile trek, okay? So if we want to get there before dark, we need to leave. Now.” Nodding your head silently, you agreed.

“I’ll go.” You volunteered, Clarke smiled at you and you nodded. 

“I got a better idea. You three go. Let the privilege do the work for once.” Bellamy spoke up and you narrowed your eyes. Stepping forward you begin to say something before Wells spoke up; “you’re not listening. We all need to go.” Suddenly he was shoved forward, and flinching, you watched as a boy with longer hair smirked.

“Oh look everybody. Chancellor of earth.” He laughed. 

“You think that’s funny?”

“Guys stop!” You tried but they ignored you as the boy shoved Wells, making him fall forward. Clark lurched forward but someone grabbed her. You grumbled at the sight of these immature idiots.

“No. But that was. All right.” The boy moved forward to push Wells again, you ran forward to grab the boy, pulling him back. He turned on you ready to fight before Finn jumped down from seemingly nowhere and smirked up at the boy. You immediately let go, knowing Finn had it and stepped slightly back. 

“Kids got one leg. Why don’t you wait until it’s a fair fight.” He said, tilting his head to the side. He made eye contact with you, “and maybe don’t push around those smarter than you.”

“Hey Spacewalker.” You all snapped your head over to Octavia, who sauntered forward. “Save me next time.”


“Four of us. Can we go now?”

“Count five.” You smiled at the four, walking up. You hefted the bag over your shoulder, smiling sweetly up at them. Clarke smiled reassuringly up at you, and Finn winked. 

“Sounds like a party for six, count me in.” Octavia clapped walking forward. Bellamy stepped forward; “hey. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“i think she’d going for a walk.” You teased, crossing your arms and smirking over at Bellamy who glared at you. You smirked, uncrossing your arms before Clarke’s attention on you pulled you away.

“Hey!” She called, shocking you as she grabbed your wrist forcefully. You gaped at her, trying to pull your hand back. “Were you trying to take this off?”

You shrugged, confused; “yeah so?”

She glared at you, just as equally shocked; “so this band transmits your vital signs to the ark. Take it off and they’ll think your dead.”

“Should I care?” You replied.

“Well I don’t know. Do you want the people you love to think you’re dead?” She asked, shaking your head you pulled your wrist from her grasp.

“I don’t have anybody anymore.” You replied shortly. “Nobodies gonna care if i’m dead or alive up there.” And with that you turned. “can we go now?” You asked, walking off in the direction.


Cheering, you watched with a wide grin as Jasper swung across the lake. “Jasper!” You yelled, clapping when he made it across unscathed. You smiled at him when he made eye contact with you and turned, holding up a sign before you that read ‘Mount Weather.’

You felt a breath leave you in relief as you turned and smiled at your companions. After a tricky but amazing journey you’d finally made it and you didn’t feel like you were gonna starve of food anymore. “Whoo!” You cheered along with him, smiling as Finn yelled his name.

You were about to step up to go across but froze when a spear sore through the sky and hit him directly in the chest. You felt your breath leave you and you go stiff as he fell back and smacked the rock with his back. There was a deafening silence as everyone looked around for who threw the arrow.

You opened your mouth, calling his name in pure shock, barely registering Finn telling you to get down. You didn’t move until Monty grabbed you around the waist and yanked you down against the rock they were hiding against. You tried to breathe calmly but all you could envision was Jasper with a spear through his chest and you could hear your own heart beat.

“We’re not alone.”


There will be more Bellamy in future episodes, but there isn’t much originally in the first episode. As well as, as much as I love Bellamy, he’s kind of a dick in the first few episodes and Bellamy and the readers relationship have to grow. It will all connect. I hope you all enjoyed!

Part 2?

Don’t kill yourself.

Don’t

Kill

Yourself

Please.


Instead let the old you fade away and reinvent yourself. Let the old you figuratively die. Recreate yourself and get the help you need, become the person you want to be.


 I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, it’s gonna be hard as hell. But don’t kill yourself, you’re wonderful, you’re beautiful, you’re important, you’re loved, there so many people that care. Let them help you, let them be there. You’re not alone in this, together we can help each other survive. Someday the world will understand, someday there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hold onto someone’s hand and never let go.



 It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to feel angry, it’s okay to let yourself feel hurt. Be honest with how bad you feel, let yourself express how badly it feels. Go punch a pillow, go scream and cry into the wind. Go stomp around and kick rocks. Do anything you can to let it all out. Just make sure you don’t hurt yourself or those around you while doing so.


Call a suicide hotline if you need to, text a good friend and talk to them, or tell a family member. Or write down how you feel and then rip it up and throw it away or burn it or crumple it up and throw it away.


Go get some food that you enjoy, you go get the tub of ice cream and you shovel as much as you want into your mouth. You deserve it. However and whatever you use to cope with the pain you feel everyday do it.


Don’t let anyone shame you, don’t put up with people’s bullshit when they tell you you’re overreacting. Or that you’re throwing a tantrum. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should react to something. Don’t let people abuse you or your feelings. Don’t let people get away with that shit anymore.


Go out and seize the day, make it yours. However know it’s okay if you cannot always do these things. You don’t need to prove your value with good grades, or from hard work. You deserve to be happy, healthy, safe and sound. Don’t let anyone tell you to stop talking about how unfair things are. Because life should be fair, no one should got without food, water, healthcare or anything that is needed to survive. 


We need you here with us, we need you to help us fight for this world’s future. It’s not okay, the world is very bad now. But we can make it better. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it and say things aren’t that bad. They are, it really is that bad. I know it’s scary, I know you feel helpless, I know you feel scared, alone and miserable.


 That’s okay, it’s okay to feel the way you do. Your feelings are important, your feelings are valid and real. You’re not lazy, you’re not broken, you’re not a burden, you’re not stupid or useless. You’re brave… every single day you live through proves it. 


Crying doesn’t make you weak, it shows you’ve been strong for far too long. Let yourself cry, cry as long as you need. Cry for weeks, cry for months, cry for years. Don’t let anyone tell you to get over it. That’s not how emotions work. You can’t just get over them, emotions aren’t a faucet you can turn on and off. Emotions are like flowing water, always changing, always moving, never stopping. 


If you need to lean on someone. Needing help isn’t shameful and seeking attention isn’t bad. Seeking out comfort is nothing you should feel guilty for or ashamed about. You need attention then seek it, tell someone you need comfort. Let someone know you’re hurting. 


Opening up is one of the hardest things to ever do. It took me years to open up to people about my depression. I know how scary, how painful and how exhausting it was to talk about. But you have to talk about it for the sake of your well being. Just try to tell someone, try your best. Your best is always enough. Don’t let others tell you that your best isn’t enough. If you’re giving all you can give then that’s okay. 


You’re okay, you’re enough, everything you accomplish in one day is enough. If you get up and finally take that shower you’ve been putting off for a few days then good for you and I mean it. Good job for taking care of yourself. If you finally go outside for the first time in months to talk a walk or to sit down under the sun then that’s awesome. If you get up and eat a meal then that’s great. 


You don’t have to do something great or something amazing. What you can do is enough and if people are mad at you for that then that’s their problem and not yours. You don’t live to please them. You’re not their little toy, you’re not their puppet to control. 


You don’t owe your mental, emotional and physical health to anyone. If you can’t do something that you could do before because of your depression then that’s just fine. It’s not your fault, none of it is your fault.


Take deep breaths, listen to some soothing music, try doing some exercise if you can, try taking a walk, try getting that shower you need, try finishing that book you started reading, try finishing that poem or that sentence in a fan fiction you were writing or that novel you want to publish. Just try and take your time, take as long as you need.


The world wouldn’t be the same without you. Don’t let the world take you, help yourself and help others. Survive with us to see the end of another year. Help us fight for a better future a future worth living in. A future that is all our own, a future in which you and everyone can finally be happy, healthy and safe. 

Seriously, the only other reasons I can think of not to like Caulifla and Kale basically amount to the following:

1) Doesn’t follow Dragon Ball.

2) Thinks they got too powerful too quickly.

3) Distract too much attention away from Auta Magetta’s compelling character arc.

4) Stole all of Vegeta’s screen time.

5) Duh duh Kale’s a ripoff of Broly.

None of these hold water. Goku has been pulling new transforms and powerups out of his ass for thirty years. He just did a new one less than two months ago. Master Roshi’s been fighting above his class this whole time, so I’m pretty sure the power scale was broken long before Caulifla showed up.

And who *else* are we supposed to be enjoying from the opposition teams? Toppo? He’s been saying the same dumb lines since he was introduced. Jiren’s barely said or done anything, and rightfully so, since they’re saving him for the end. What’s the alternative to Caulifla and Kale? Those crappy robots from Universe 3? Maji Kayo? I’ve been waiting for the U6 Namekians to grow a personality since August and I don’t think it’s going to happen.

The point here is that Caulifla and Kale were introduced as mid-story antagonists for Goku to fight on his way to Jiren. They’re not as strong as Jiren, but they could give him a run for his money and make Goku look good on his way to the climactic final battle. They’re funny and charming and boisterous to contrast with Jiren’s stoicism. And they’re weak enough that even a loss to Goku still makes them look awesome. Kefla was just throwing *everything * at him, looking badass as hell, even though it was obvious that Goku would survive her so he could go on to fight Jiren.

Now, as a Vegeta fan, I’m a little sorry that his fights don’t get this level of coverage on the show, but at the same time we don’t need to do everything twice over to keep Vegeta strong. He’s going to have his lower key fight with Toppo or whoever else while Goku takes on the more interesting fighters. That’s how this show works. If Goku and Vegeta were on opposing teams, it might be different, but they’re not, so it isn’t.

That just leaves the Kale/Broly thing, which is silly because Broly’s kind of awesome, so it wouldn’t be a problem even if it were true. If Broly were in this show everyone would be marking out. As far as I’m concerned, the other teams don’t have *enough* Broly clones in this tournament.

As it is, Kale’s got a completely different personality, owing in large part to the fact that she has to be made distinctive from Caulifla. Then you throw in her second transform and the fusion, and she’s clearly a fully original character who just happens to have the same power that Broly did. It’d be like arguing that Trunks is a ripoff of Goku because they both have the same transformation.

What you’ve got here are two compelling characters with strong, distinct motivations and relateable character flaws. Caulifla tends to bite off more than she can chew, and Kale is often overreliant on others for direction. But they stick together and don’t back down from Goku, even though they know he’s probably too much for them to handle. They just took it to him like a pair of bosses and made him work for it the whole way.

That’s what Dragon Ball is all about. That’s how Goku clawed his way to the 21st Budokai finals and took Jackie Chun to the limit. That’s why Goku fought Perfect Cell even though he knew he was at a disadvantage. That’s why Vegeta took on Kid Buu and made the little jerk nervous. Caulifla and Kale fought Goku to the bitter end, then they fused and fought him *all over again* to the bitter end, and Caulifla *immediately* swore to beat him in a rematch. I’m getting hyped just thinking about it. And Kale’s all “sorry for not defeating the main character in his final form!” That’s friggin’ *adorable* and no, Kale, you did amazing, sweetie.

I don’t see why anyone would dislike these two. Unless they just hate awesome and cool things, I guess.

Silver Storm (6/?)

Summary: While on trip out of state, you were taken by Hydra. You were barely 21 at the time. Hydra took you and turned you into another asset, matching the Winter Soldier’s abilities. They injected you with a serum similar to his, wiped you,  and instructed the soldier himself to train you. He was hard on you, but when it was just the two of you he let his walls down. You were each other’s comfort, until the events of D.C when he was sent to kill Captain America. After that day, you never saw him again. You were told he abandoned you, that he was on the other side now. It’s been years since you’ve seen him, but what happens when he comes bursting through the doors of your facility?

Memories are in Italics, bold is readers thoughts *

It’s kind of a slow chapter guys, but itll step up for the next ones!

Pairing: none so far, but Bucky x reader (eventually) , reader x avengers

Warnings: swearing, angst , a little fluff

 - I wasn’t aware there was already a superhero with this name, so my character is in no way connected to  Marvels Silver Storm! *


                                                      Chapter 6

   It’s been a few days since you walked away from Bucky. He’s tried talking to you, but you manage to duck out every time. You’ve spent the days without him learning of your life before Hydra. You spent the first day with Tony learning how to look through your old Facebook account. You both laughed at the ridiculous pictures that appeared and he did his best to comfort you when the painful memories shook your mind. The second and third day consist of you and Tony stalking your family. He was able to pull up information on your siblings and parents. The memories those days were mostly from your childhood, and when the tears fell Tony was there to hand you tissues. The dynamic of your relationship with him slightly altered those days and you saw a side you didn’t see before. Although it didn’t bring you incredibly closer, it helped you both ease each other into both your lives.   

   It’s the third night away from Bucky and you’re bracing yourself for the lack of sleep that’s coming. It’s not that Wanda’s presence isn’t comforting, it’s just a completely different sense of comfort. With Bucky, everything about him made you feel safe; his smell, his body heat, his voice, the way his arms would hold you in your sleep. You still have been able to sleep but not as soundly. Tonight, as you slip under the covers next to Wanda, the only thing swirling around your mind is Bucky. You stay up a little longer after Wanda falls asleep, your mind still not quieting down. Your eyes finally start to droop and you willingly let them .  

    You are woken up by the feeling of lips on your forehead and hushed whispers. Your heart is racing as you look up to see Bucky holding you almost completely in his lap. You shove yourself out of his lap, your body landing on the floor with a thud. You notice Wanda leaning against the door, her eyes red and puffy, tears still leaking from them. Oh god no, did I hurt her?

Originally posted by 1-hell-of-a-pilot

“Wanda did I-”

“No no no, you didn’t hurt me. You were having a nightmare. I didn’t know how to wake you safely, so I went in your mind to pull you out like I did with your memory that day. But I couldn’t… it was like I was watching a film and you couldn’t hear me.“  

You reach your hand to your eyes, feeling tears you didn’t even know existed and your throat burned. You try to remember what you were dreaming but you’re coming up blank.

"You were whimpering then screaming for Bucky. Actually, you cried for Winter,” Wanda says. Your eyes widen. Oh great. Of freaking course I scream for his help. You turn, looking at Bucky. Tears remain on his face, his eyes trained on you.

“Wanda, can you give us a minute?” he asks, his voice hoarse. She nods then steps out, shutting the door behind her.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up, I’m sorry,” you say, standing up. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Y/n, I wasn’t sleeping. Do you really think I’ve slept over the last couple days?” You look over his features, noting the bags under his eyes. You don’t answer, just awkwardly stand in your place.

“Will you give me a chance to explain or are you going to duck out again?” he questions. You hear the desperation in his voice. You nod and seat yourself on the edge of the bed.

“I probably should have mentioned Katie. She’s just - she’s not - I’m not in a relationship with her, and I know that’s what you think. We had a mutual agreement to help each other…blow off steam after missions. That’s all it was, nothing more. That night was my fault. I should have called her and explained what was happening, but I -”

“What was happening Bucky? What would you of told her? Oh hey Katie, sorry I can’t sleep with you. I have an ex assassin from my Hydra days over tonight,” you spit out. The anger in your voices shocks him, but you continue.

Originally posted by suitelikechocolate

“Bucky, I’m not even mad about it! That just knocked sense into me. I don’t know you, I don’t know Bucky Barnes. I know Winter. And he doesn’t exist anymore. I know absolutely nothing about you in this new life you made! You only know Silver, hell I only know Silver! Everything I ever knew was in that damn Hydra base!” You run your fingers through your hair as you begin pacing Wanda’s room.

“This isn’t about me thinking you were in a relationship, it’s me realizing I don’t know how to function  here!” Tears of frustration escape your eyes. “I don’t even have the one person I want to comfort me anymore, he was the only safe-”

“I’m right here Y/n!” Bucky yells, frustration also clear in his voice. “I have the same feelings I did then Y/n. Being here, being an Avenger, and having a new life hasn’t changed the fact that I love you!”

Originally posted by in-perfectenschlag

You stay silent, not knowing how to answer. Do I love him? How can I when I don’t even know him?

“I don’t know who you are,” you whisper.

“I’m the same person Y/n, just with memories and freedom now. I’ll still mend you when you’re broken, and I still love you, Мой солнечный свет ( my sunshine).” He moves in front of you, takes your chin in his hands, pulling your lips to his is a slow but intense kiss. You can’t deny the sparks you feel, but it doesn’t change the problem .

Originally posted by halsteadandlindsay

He pulls away , eyes finding yours. “Maybe you don’t know everything about me, and I don’t know who you were before Hydra, but what’s stopping us from learning?“ he questions. He’s right, the only thing stopping us is me.

 "And what if you don’t like who I am?” you ask.

 "I’ll tell you what I learned when i came here: I am not the same James Buchanan Barnes I was in the 40’s before Hydra took me, but I’m not the Winter Soldier either. I am myself, my life is new with new people and new experiences. I got to start over. After being through what we have, there is no going back to exactly how we are; only fragments of our past selves survived the hell Hydra forced us through.“ He tilts your face, your eyes now locking with his.

"But I can assure you, I will love you no matter who you are. The piece of you that survived Hydra was your heart and your care for other people. The first thing you thought when you woke up was if you hurt Wanda or not, right?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before he continues. “ And when you saw Katie, you felt bad that you ruined what you thought was going on, hurting either of our feelings?” You still don’t reply.

“You use to take care of me when I returned wounded from mission. You’d run your hand down my cheek and tend to my wounds when the handlers wouldn’t. There is no doubt in my mind that you were the same with your family and friends before Hydra. And there is no doubt you will always be this way. That is why I love you. No matter how you chose to make your new life, I will love you.” Tears are escaping both of you and you pull him to you into a hug, silently accepting his explanation and declaration of love.

Originally posted by relationshipaims

You pull apart when you hear Wanda clear her throat. ” Uh guys, this is real sweet and everything but it’s 4 a.m… I kind of want to sleep,“ she says sheepishly.

“Do you want to stay with Wanda?” Bucky asks.

“I’ve already cost Wanda enough sleep, I think I might just go watch Netflix.” You hug Wanda goodnight and Bucky follows you out.

Bucky ends up joining you and instead of watching Netflix you talk all night. You tell him about the memories that popped up when you looked into your past, you even had FRIDAY pull up some of the embarrassing and funny pictures you found on your Facebook. Things felt in place again. You fell asleep in Bucky’s arms, your body laying flat on top of his.


You are woken up by the sound of Tony and Wanda’s voices.

“Neither of them are in their rooms,” Tony voice almost echoes in the room.

“Well, Y/n said she was going to watch Netflix, maybe they’re-”  her voice stops as they get closer.

“Wake them up before -”

You hear the elevator ding and more voices appear. They feel familiar to you but you can’t place your finger on where they are from. You lift your head off Bucky’s chest and nuzzle your nose against his to wake him. It works. His eyes blink open, a dazzling lop sided smile gracing his face.

Originally posted by livpaix

 "Good mor-“ He is cut off by the voices growing closer. You see the voices register in his mind as unfamiliar and he goes into protective mode. He lifts you off him, leaving you on the couch as he stands. You stay in your place, slightly loving how defensive he gets for you.

"Tony, I didn’t know we were having guests,” Bucky says suspiciously. You watch his eyes. You assume he’s looking over whoever is here.

“Stand down, Barnes. They aren’t here for you. Sweetheart, can you sit up?” Tony’s tone was sweet, slightly catching you off guard, but you obey his request. You stand at Bucky’s side. When you lift your eyes, you’re met with the visitors: an older man and woman. Oh my God. Your mouth hangs open as your chest tightens and tears start pouring out of your eyes like a waterfall. Their faces mirror what you believe yours looks like: absolute shock and so many tears.

You know why the voices sound familiar and why you couldn’t place them. The couple standing in front of you move closer. Everything in you is screaming at you to take a step back, distance yourself. But you don’t. You stand still, shock flooding your body. You finally find the strength to speak, only able to get two shaky words out.

“Mom? Dad?”

Originally posted by little-diable

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Drunk cuddles and sleepy Confessions

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Word count: 2,335

Rating: General Audience

Read on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11266446

Summary:  Cas and Dean return to their shared apartment after a long night of partying.
Dean is pretty drunk and accidentally breaks his bed which leads to the two friends sharing Cas’s bed.
In the morning, a very sleepy Dean let’s some secrets slip.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was way past 3 a.m. on a Saturday when Dean and Cas finally arrive at the door of their shared apartment after a long night of partying. To be honest, Dean was the one partying while his best friend and roommate Castiel was mostly watching him drink and dance with various people. Cas really isn’t the party-type, doesn’t even know why he continuously tortures himself by joining Dean on parties nearly every weekend- just to creep around in a corner and look at his friend flirting or making out with other students. He’s completely aware of how embarrassing and pathetic this crush, that he’s been harboring on (wo)manizer Dean Winchester for about a year, is, but he really can’t help his feelings. Considering that Dean is openly bisexual and has dated and hooked up with quite a lot of people over the course of their friendship, but never made a move on Cas, he knows that Dean just isn’t into him and that he should probably get over it and accept the fact that there would never be more than a deep friendship between them.

“Ya know what, Cas?” Dean leans against him, nuzzling his face against his neck while Cas unlocks the door and trys to prevent his friend from falling to the ground at the same time.

“No, what?”

“I really like ya… How’d I even deserve you? You’re my best friend, love- I love you s’much.” Dean mumbles while trying to conceal his hiccups.

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The Best/Worst (or Worst/Best??) Babysitters AU

@eulenstadt and I were talking about an AU in which Jacobi and Maxwell end up emergancy babysitters for Anne Eiffel (and an AU where everyone is ALIVE).  It was hilarious so I am going to share.  

  • Jacobi and Maxwell use Anne to pretend they are actually real adults and not vaguely horrific people when out and about.  “We’re the guardians of this small deaf child, clearly we’re responsible and not at all special intelligence operatives for an evil mega-corporation.” “We’ve never even killed anybody.” “Definitely not more than one person.” 
  • The Wonder Twins pick up ASL very quickly, Jacobi’s used to using hand signals on the ballistics range when he and his coworkers wear ear protection and literally cannot hear one another.  Maxwell’s just a really fast learner.  
  • They use Anne as an excuse to go do things they want to do. I.e. Laser tag. 
    • Jacobi: “Anne wants to play laser tag.” 
    • Maxwell: “How do you know, you didn’t even sign anything to her.” 
    • Jacobi: “ANNE wants to play LASER TAG.” 
    • Maxwell: “…Anne definitely wants to play laser tag.” 
  • And so they play laser tag.  This is a learning experience all around.  
    • Jacobi and Maxwell teach Anne tactics both legitimate and definitely cheating. 
    • Jacobi and Maxwell learn how to have a third person (who isn’t Colonel Kepler) on their team.  
  • Maxwell teaches Anne how to build basic robots out of cans and wires.  Jacobi teaches her how to make Molotov Cocktails.  They burn stuff in a near-by field where a normal babysitter might take a kid to set off baking soda rockets.
  • Anne REALLY likes that Jacobi and Maxwell don’t treat her like a kid but like a tiny adult.  She doesn’t realize this isn’t so much on purpose as because Jacobi and Maxwell have no idea how to act around children.
  • Anne also REALLY likes Jacobi’s robotic arm.  She loves the idea that he’s a grown-up unaffiliated with her school who has a disability, in his case that he’s an amputee.  
  • Anne looks up to Maxwell as this amazing unstoppable wonder.  
  • Anne and Jacobi argue like two children.  They are building a block tower and one of them screws it up.  When it falls they immediately start blaming each other.  “You messed up the foundation!” “You tried to build it too high!” “You nudged it!” “No way!” “I saw you!” 
    • This slowly devolves into “You’re stupid!” “Your face is stupid!” 
    • Maxwell stares at the camera like she’s on The Office. 
    • “Jacobi, she’s six.” “SIX AND WRONG!” 
  • So in other words, Maxwell is her hero, Jacobi is her playmate.  It works out well.  Maxwell thinks Anne is adorable (especially for a human child), Jacobi both has an affection for her and wants to punt her out a window sometimes. 
  • Maxwell is going to make sure Anne becomes a badass when she grows up.  Jacobi is going to make sure she knows how to take care of herself.
  • Eventually Anne makes up name signs for them both.  Maxwell’s is “S” and “Q” while also signing “crown” (she only has two hands so she can’t get the “L” in there).  Jacobi is a “J” over her right arm (she really likes that Jacobi is just some rando who is like her).  Jacobi petitioned for it to be a “J” that turned into the sign for “fire” but it was dubbed too difficult by Maxwell and Anne.    
  • Maxwell strikes a bargain to make Anne take a bath.  When she gets out they can paint Jacobi’s nails.  Jacobi is not privy to this bargain until it is too late. 
    • Jacobi: “WHY CAN’T SHE PAINT YOUR NAILS?!” 
    • Maxwell: “Because I hate nail polish!”
    • Jacobi: “AND I DON’T?!” 
    • Maxwell: “You need to step outside of these preconceived gender roles you–” 
    • Jacobi: “Don’t try to make me better myself. I hate bettering myself and you know it.” 
    • He gets his nails painted.  He swears them both to secrecy and whines about it the entire time.  
    • Later, after Anne goes to bed Jacobi peels the nail polish off and bitches at Maxwell.  “Shut up, Jacobi.” “SHE’S DEAF, MAXWELL, SHE CAN’T HEAR ME!” “I know, but I can.” 
  • Doug comes home and everyone is in one piece.  Anne wakes up to tell him about her day.  
  • Anne tells him about laser tag. “Daddy, we kicked ass!” Maxwell immediately regrets teaching Anne that sign.  She blames Jacobi when Doug gives them a wounded look.
  • Anne: “Jacobi taught me how to make cocktails!”
    • Doug: *absolute horror* “WHAT–?!”
    • Jacobi: *quickly, because he still wants Eiffel to pay them* “Nothing alcoholic!” 
    • Doug: “Thank God–”
    • Jacobi: “MOLOTOV cocktails.” 
    • Doug: “THAT’S JUST AS BAD!”
    • Jacobi: “It’s a really important skill!  What if she wants to start a riot!?”
    • Doug: “WHY WOULD SHE NEED TO START A RIOT, ‘SPLOSION MAN?!”
    • Jacobi: “Lots of reasons!”
    • After much argument about how making incendiaries is NOT AN IMPORTANT LIFE SKILL Jacobi says “I had to teach myself!  I saved your curtains, half your kitchen, and a visit to the emergancy room.” 
  • Eiffel pays them like they’re two teenagers.
  • As they go out to the car Jacobi and Maxwell congratulate themselves on a job well done. 
    • Jacobi: “Everyone survived.”
    • Maxwell: “Yep, we did not kill Eiffel’s kid.” 
    • *HIGH FIVE* 
  • Anne: “Daddy, where do Jacobi and Maxwell live?” 
    • Doug: *thinks: Hell, probably.*  “I don’t really know.” 
    • Anne: “Can they babysit again?” 
    • Doug: “…we’ll see.” *this means no, because dammit they make HIM look RESPONSIBLE AND THAT IS TERRIFYING.* 
Leverage

Originally posted by evenifidieitsjimin

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader (ft. Voldemort)

Content/Warnings: Angst; fluff; torture

Words: 1087

A/N: Sorry this is out so late guys, I had family come in today so it’s been hectic. This was an anon request, asking for:

Draco x reader where Draco is a Death Eater and the reader is his long time girlfriend, who is a Slytherin but not a Death Eater. And Voldemort threatens and tortures the reader, so Draco would do what Voldemort wants from him. And Draco would like promise the reader that he will do whatever it takes to keep the reader safe

I hope you guys enjoy this one!


You were in danger. Well, everyone was, all things considered. But you in particular. Mainly because you were dating Draco Malfoy, who had joined the Death Eaters in order to appease his parents. That meant you were fair game to use as incentive. No one ever said that Voldemort played fair. After all, if he played fair, you would be safe at Hogwarts, instead of tied up at the Malfoy Manor, which Voldemort was using as his headquarters. According to Bellatrix, you were waiting to see the Dark Lord himself.

Great.

You knew that Voldemort preyed on fear and control. That’s why he had you tied up, and why he was making you wait. You were wandless, virtually defenseless, and completely at the mercy of him and the other Death Eaters. You really wished that somehow, Draco would swoop in and save the day. Unfortunately, that wasn’t exactly how it happened. Draco was shoved in the room first, looking extraordinarily pale. He was followed by Voldemort, in all his snake-like glory.

Keep reading

FFXV x Hocus Pocus AU Ideas Part 3

Part 1 | Part 2

  • Noct leads the group to a ladder that will take them out of the sewers.
    • Prompto goes first because Ignis’s arms are getting tired he needs to find solid ground that’s safe to stand on.
      • Noct hitches a ride on his shoulder
    • Within moments of the group climbing out onto the street, Noctis is run over by a car
      • Cue panicking and lots of crying
        • Iris and Prompto are inconsolable 
        • Gladio voicing his concerns about whether or not they’d be allowed to bury a cat’s body in a cemetery meant for people
          • Ignis: “That is entirely too pragmatic, even for my taste”
          • Gladio’s Tattoo: “SQUAWK”
      • Prompto is getting ready to wrap Noctis’s body in his shawl when his bones start knitting themselves back together and he comes back to life
        • Noctis: *Screaming at a car that’s probably on the other side of the city by now*  “WHERE’D YOU GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE, DICKHEAD– A CEREAL BOX????”
        • Also Noctis: “Why is everyone crying”
        • ALSO NOCTIS: “Everyone’s so tense. Who died?”
  • MEANWHILE
    • The Sanderson brothers are getting acquainted with this strange new century
      • In their hunt for Gladio and the others, they stumble upon a man dressed in a devil costume…
        • It’s Dino………..
          • Dino invites the trio into his house. (He wants to sell them jewelry– they seem like real suckers and could probably clean out his Halloween-themed inventory so he can still turn a profit.) He enjoys the attention he gets from Iedolas and Loqi– though he is a little weirded out when they call him “master.”
          • Ardyn isn’t fooled
            • He makes Dino very much regret wearing that costume
              • Fancy that blood is hard to see on dark clothing…
                • I’m sorry, Dino
        • The only good thing that comes out of this detour is that some kids steal the brothers’ brooms while they’re in the house
          • That’ll buy Noct and the others time to figure their shit out
  • MEANWHILE
    • Team Gladio decides that they need to get help– Iris has the bright idea of going to the mayor’s house, where Clarus is on security detail at a Halloween party
      • Gladio: “How the hell am I going to make Dad believe me”
        • Gladio’s Tattoo: “SQUAWK”
        • Also Gladio: “Prompto, I swear to God if we actually survive to see tomorrow, I am going to FUCKING KILL YOU”
        • Prompto: “That’s fair tbh”
      • They find Clarus at the party. He thinks Gladio’s story is funny at first, but when he doesn’t back down, he starts getting frustrated
        • Did anyone expect Clarus to believe that a trio of zombie witches are chasing his kids around town????
        • Clarus: “Kids, I’m working. Grab a candy apple and go home, okay?”
        • Gladio: “Dad this is fucking serious, okay????”
        • Clarus: “Gladio you watch your goddamned mouth”
        • Gladio’s Tattoo: “SQUAWK”
        • Clarus: “The hell was that?”
      • In come the Sanderson brothers
        • These aren’t the villains of a Disney movie. They’re genuinely terrifying
          • I can’t express with bullet points how tense the stand-off between Ardyn and Prompto is
            • Ardyn wearing an innocent smile with something red smeared on his cheek
            • Prompto clutching the spellbook to his chest
            • Surrounded by innocent people who think this is all a joke or some performance planned for the party
              • Why are these kids being so rude to the nice actors?
            • Ardyn has this silky, dangerous air to him. He is all composure and grace and he speaks in a soft, lilting voice
              • But those eyes
                • Ardyn doesn’t cast a spell that forces everyone at the party to dance until they die. He casts a spell that forces everyone at the party to remain frozen in place until they die
                  • Clarus and the other partygoers are completely aware of what’s going on but they can’t move an inch– that’s pretty terrifying
            • TIME TO FUCKING LEAVE
              • Prompto: “We’ll find a way to fix this, I promise!!!”
  • Prompto: *Mounting his broom* “Everyone get on”
    • How the hell do they make this work
      • Iris sits in Prompto’s lap with the spellbook
      • Ignis sits sideways behind them.. in Gladio’s lap
        • Gladio holds onto Prompto and those beefy tattooed arms become guardrails to keep Ignis from falling off
      • Noctis gets off easy. He just perches on Prompto’s shoulder again
      • Definitely something that I Need To Draw
    • IT IS SO HARD FOR PROMPTO TO STEER AND HE’S TOO SCARED TO GO VERY FAST OR VERY HIGH
      • But they’re all scared and desperate to get away sooooo there they go
    • Ignis: “Go to the school. I have an idea”

To be continued…

Black Magick (Jungkook x Reader)

You’re surprised that you’ve been able to deal with his incessant whining for all the years you’ve known him. You’re even more surprised that you actually like him.

11.7k words, fluff + action, jungkook/reader, witch hunter au


It’s 7 AM and you’re shuffling into the breakfast bar, eyes droopy, still not entirely awake. You see Jungkook standing in the corner, fiddling with the coffee machine. “Hey,” you say, pulling out a chair.

“Morning,” he says distractedly. “Some asshat broke the coffee machine earlier and didn’t bother to fix it, so now I can’t get my coffee.” He looks up from the machine to hand you a case file. “Also, the head assigned us a new mission: searchers found a new rogue up north. Told me that already a few homicide cases have been linked to him. Or something.”

You flip through the papers. “Are you serious? That’s crazy,” you say in wonder.

“What? The lack of coffee? Trust me, I know.”

Keep reading

Not Without Him

Request: “Can you do a harry image where the reader lived on the isle but she was chosen to go, Harry feels betrayed and hurt so when he sees her again he breaks down but you can do whatever you want”

Pairing: Harry Hook x Reader

A/N: REQUESTS ARE CLOSED - (Part 3 for “Meeting Him” will be posted around the weekend so make sure you have your notifications for me turned on! Thank you all for being so supportive I love you💕)

Warnings: None

It had been a long day for you to sum it up. Mal, Evie, Carlos and Jay had come back to the Isle to rescue Ben who was now Mal’s boyfriend and the King of Auradon. They were your closest friends before they all got the opportunity to go to Auradon. They left you all alone for 6 months but not entirely.

Uma had made a deal with you she wanted you to be apart of her crew and since you had no one you had no other option but to agree. The only good thing that came out of being abandoned by your only friends was the fact that you had become close to Harry and then after 3 months he became your boyfriend.

You considered yourself a lucky girl and you knew now that with the bad came the good sooner or later. For you it had luckily came soon and you weren’t complaining at all. Harry was the only thing that kept you sane and you knew that if it weren’t for him you probably would’ve been a mess by now getting into trouble.

Keep reading

Camp Camp Apocalyptic AU: A Prologue

A/N: In which our favorite trio of little bastards come together in a world where kids can be in charge and peanut butter is worth the life of another. 

Fan-Fiction; concept and ideas belong to me, the characters do not. 

(I apologize it’s not well written but I wrote it and I’m gonna post it)

***

Apparently The World Ended (Prologue)

He was ten years old when the world ended, alone in his large, empty, robotic-filled house as bombs crashed down and sirens rang out.

Once the disaster ended, and he and parts of the world were very much still alive, he collected what he could from the rubble and ran without any desire to return.

He still had the scars from his father, his dreams were still filled with cold, harsh stares of disapproval and disappointment, but he was free and independent and damn, did it feel good.

But he was ten, and despite his sharp wit and natural brilliance, he wasn’t quite as untouchable as he often felt he was.

“Oh Maxwell,” Pikeman spat, gesturing for Snake to deal another blow to Max’s ribs, “you really are way in over your head, aren’t you?”

“Suck a dick Pikeman,” Max growled, using the wall of the abandoned convenience store to hold him up, “I was just passing through your territory so I didn’t-”

“Excuses, excuses,” Pikeman kicked forward, sending Max tumbling down to the dirt, “now, what were you really doing here?”

“I told you, you fucking idiot,” Max pushed himself up onto his arms, looking his enemy straight in the eyes, “I’m just passing through.”

“Through our surplus room?” Snake gestured to the old store.

Max said nothing, dropping his gaze as he tried to pull his strength together. Pikeman merely smirked.

“I knew it; you just can’t keep your hands to yourself, can you Maxwell?” He gave an ugly, snot-driven laugh, reaching his sweaty hand out  to his defeated opponent. “Hand it over now, Maxwell.”

“Dude come on,” Max coughed, standing himself back up, “it was just a fucking jar of peanut butter. You have over two hundred in there, man. Can’t I trade it for something else? Candles? A broken watch?”

Pikeman froze, his forehead crumpled in thought for a few moments before a yellow, toothy smile began to grow.

“Actually, I have a proposition for you,” he swiped Max’s bag, tripping him once again with a swift kick to the knees, “there’s this weird girl who came through yesterday, stole some of our canned goods and bread. She ran across the tiny desert into the mountains, but she was injured, so she couldn’t have gone far.”

“So why the hell should I care?”

“Because if you want this bag back with the jar, you need to bring her to us by tomorrow mid-day. If you don’t, you either leave without it, or you have to stay as an honorary Wood Scout recruit. Do I make myself clear?”

“Do I have a fucking choice?”

“Twenty four hours, Maxwell,” Pikeman threw down a coil of rope and a hunting knife, “she’s tiny and fast and has a bushel of green curly hair. We’ll be waiting.” Max stood himself up, taking a few breaths before exiting the alleyway to the small desert that lay before him.

It wasn’t exactly a desert; it was just an old field that had been burned and ruined by the Great Disaster and its following conflict. But everyone who lived and roamed in the Mountain Valley area called it a desert, so desert it was named. Max quietly limped across the cracked, dry ground, feeling the eyes of Pikeman watching him from their base tower.

He fucking hated everything that had to do with the Wood Scouts. They were nothing but an imposing, whiny group of abandoned military-school children who bullied any survivor who refused to comply with them.

Max had been stealing shit from them for months now; but in four weeks they somehow came up with a ridiculous new line of defense.

A ridiculously tall, muscular, line of defense.

Max shifted his feet, trudging forward towards the large block of trees as he tried to scan the ground for any trace of her.

He didn’t expect to find a trail of orange paint, but that would work as well.

Max continued to walk slowly, his mind quiet and meditated on the decent weather and the speckles of orange paint that dotted the tall grass and trees that sprouted amongst the dry clay. The grey sky faded into a light orange blending into purple, and as soon as the sun had swollen on the edge of the valley, Max had found what he was looking for.

Er, at least, he thought he did.

“Will you hold the fuck still, Nikki?”

“It’s seriously no big deal Neil; it’s just my wrist!”

“An hour ago you were screaming how you’d rather be eaten by wolves than deal with the pain.”

“See? It’s just getting better!”

Max stared from behind the shrub, hidden from sight among the tall shadows and twigs. Both of them were kids, not much older than himself, if they were even older at all. As Pikeman had explained, the girl possessed a wild mane of green curls and a numerous amount of scars and bruises along her arms and face. The boy, while clearly worn and exhausted, was a lot less banged-up than his companion. He was scrappy and boney and, Max figured, would probably die and be eaten by wolves or some shit if he wasn’t friends with crazy-eyes.

Max glanced down at his rope and knife, and looked back up at his supposed targets. Rolling his eyes, he stepped out of the brush, loosely holding the weapons at his side.

“Hey,” Max threw his arm out to Nikki “were you the crazy dumb-ass that stole from the Wood Scouts?”

The two companions froze, before Nikki jumped up to her feet, Neil’s hands still firmly locked on the set splint. “Who the fuck wants to know?”

“Name’s Max,” he threw up his arms and dropped his weapons, rolling his eyes, “Wood Scouts sent me to kidnap you and bring you back to the camp so they could imprison you or some dumb shit and I could get my fucking bag back.”

“…But, who are you?” Neil asked, giving the splint one final tug before letting go of Nikki’s wrist. “Are you a Wood Scout?”

“Hell no,” Max grunted, “they’re just holding all my weapons and ammunition hostage until I bring you back.”

Nikki blinked. “And you just expect us to walk back with you and get kidnapped.”

“…I mean,” Max shifted, a tad hesitant in his voice, “I wasn’t going to fucking cut you and tie you up like an animal.”

“Then what were you going to do?”

Max scrunched his forehead, remaining quiet for a few moments before a small idea came to his head.

“You escaped the Wood Scouts before, right?”

“I have,” Nikki proudly held her head high, “but Neil here’s a big chicken!”

“I am not!” He protested, “I’m just not built to be super durable, that’s all.”

“Look, who gives a fuck,” Max rolled his eyes, “we’re all out here trying to survive, right? Why don’t we all work together and steal some more shit from them and get the hell out of dodge?”

“And how are we supposed to fight?” Neil protested.

“Like I said Neil,” Nikki scoffed, running over to Max’s side and picking up the pocket knife, “it’s no biggie! I can still fight!”

“And what about me?”

“You got a gun Neil?” Max asked. The young boy faltered, his face turning red.

“How did you-”

“It’s the fucking Apocalypse, okay?” Max shrugged, “everybody’s carrying around fucked up shit. So you got a gun?”

“Yeah, but all I have are blanks.”

“They won’t fucking know the difference,” Max smiled, dropping to the ground and sketching out a plan in the mud, “now, Neil, Nikki, here’s what we’re going to do…”

***

Pikeman made it far too easy, agreeing to meet behind the convenience store to retrieve Nikki. The rope was tied to her ankle, and she sat cross legged, obviously bored and irritated by the time the Wood Scouts had bothered to show up.

“Alright Max,” Pikeman spat, tossing him his bag back, “all your items back, including the jar of peanut butter.”

“You know I’m not giving her to you until I check this, right?” Max asked, his black eye shooting daggers back at the Wood Scout Leader.

“Fine.” Pikeman pouted, agonizingly watching as Max checked the contents of his bag. Despite his slimy persona, Pikeman had kept his promise, not a single blade or box had been tampered with.

“Okay, here you go,” Max shrugged, dropping Nikki’s rope. Without missing a beat, she charged ahead, ramming herself into Snake and biting his nose like some wild, vicious animal.

“Max!” Pikeman screamed, charging towards Max with his wobbly chicken legs. Max merely turned, stretching his leg just far enough to send Pikeman tumbling into the ground.

“Where the fuck is Neil?” Max yelled to Nikki, who had begun to brutally beat the tall, muscular kid she had pinned to the ground. Suddenly, the squeaking of rubber filled the air, as Niel sped over in one of the Wood Scout’s golf carts, holding the gun backwards in his hand like a crazy idiot.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” he shouted, as Nikki and Max bolted to the cart. The Wood Scouts that could began to chase after them, but it was too late; they had already reached the untouched prairie fields three miles ahead of them.

“Suck a dick losers!” Nikki howled with laughter, standing up in the back seat. “What a bunch of pussies!”

“Calm down Nick,” Max called from shotgun, “our nerd here’s one second from throwing you from the back seat if you don’t sit your ass down.”

“Hey!” Neil shouted, sharply turning to plunge down into one of the lower mountain valleys, “if you have a problem with my driving, why don’t you drive the fucking vehicle?”

“Man come on, they beat the shit out of me yesterday!”

“Hey guys?” Nikki called, crawling to stick her own head between the two boys, “where are we going anyways?”

“Eh, wherever,” Max shrugged, “as long as we stay away from god damn weirdos for a while.”

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General prompts;
  1. 1. ”You buried her?”
    ”I didn’t see the point of hanging around with a dead body any longer than I needed to.”
  2. If you are so angry that you shake, you are too angry. Go get coffee or something and come you are calm.
  3. The ones who mourn their inevitable death will be sent to an early grave
  4. And what I am I supposed to do if the thing starts to rip me apart?
  5. At this point it’s just killing to survive. Not for sport, not for habits, not for no other reason to stay alive and survive this mess.
  6. You are not to lay a hand on a wife of the last King of this land, or the guards will be forced behead you.
  7. May I remind you what the last time you left your eldest son in charge, your majesty. It can never happened again.
  8. And just how did you think I could defeat all the demons of hell?
  9. You don’t have the slightest idea what they have see or done. And I for one, don’t even want to think about it.
  10. We have enough shit going on here in one city, why would we expand?
  11. Every time your name flashes on the phone screen, I don’t want to answer it. Because I know you will get me in trouble.
  12. ”Just to clarify, do I lose or win if I choke to death?”
    ”I mean it’d be a personal lose, but…”
  13. Well even after everything… At least you have your door left intact
  14. ”How was I supposed to know she’s a kleptomaniac based on one conversation?”
    ”You caught her trying to take your wallet!”
  15. ”Who invited the fucking pyro! I don’t need to be charged with vandalisms too!”
    ”So assault is fine, but vandalisms goes over the line?”
  16. Stop laughing, you are supposed to be dead.
  17. I knew he had come back to the city when the warehouse was set on fire.
  18. You guys are all kinds of fucked, you know that right?
  19. We could just kick it in, right? If she can’t pick it open, I mean.
  20. Why is it that you are the nicest of us all, but look the shadiest.
  21. ”You cannot win this war!”
    ”I am not trying to! I just want to survive!”
  22. My job is to dig my thumb down your old wounds until you scream out the secrets and lies you hold
  23. ”And if he shoots me to the head?”
    ”Well then we are more fucked than before.”
  24. Betray me, and I’ll make sure I’m your biggest nightmare.
  25. “Why did you do this?”
    “Because you have more than stressful life already, and… I thought you’d appreciate st least the idea of this.”
  26. “Do you know where he went?”
    “Well he said that he was going for a walk, so I can only imagine that he’s outside.”
  27. He felt like a piece of hand me down clothing. That nobody wanted to take a responsibility for, that nobody wanted.
  28. Well, well, now I just know how much of a death wish you have, coming to me for help.
  29. He had woken up screaming for the first time in a long time, sweat burning his eyes, the clothes sticking against his skin
  30. I know she’s the reason I don’t feel the same anymore when I’m alone, the reason I feel like crying when she’s mad enough to not speak to me. She makes me happier than I have never been, happier than I thought I never was going to be.
  31. Even if those were pure intentions, you did do it at the end and in their eyes, it’s the only thing that matters
  32. The knife in your hand is still dripping blood, mate. You need help with the body or something? Or is there a more sinister reason you are ringing my doorbell at four am?
  33. “And how did you obtain this car, mom? And why do you smell like you were drenched in a gas?”
    “What about you mind your own goddamn business? And don’t say anything about this to dad, alright?”
  34. Did you just push a kid with crunches out of the way, just to get the last hotdog?
  35. “Keep your back straight.”
    ”It’s pretty hard when rest of you is gay.”
  36. These things never worked out in the movies, so why did I even think I could pull this off in real life was fucking idiotic.
  37. He felt like a piece of hand me down clothing. That nobody wanted to take a responsibility for, that nobody wanted.
  38. Torture will always produce some false confessions and lies, with our without information.
  39. The newspaper clippings were glued to the front door and the pocket watch tied around the door handle.
  40. ”We are not harboring a fugitive in our house!”
    ”He’s not a fugitive, he’s your godfather!”
  41. What a better way to find out that you are a immortal than wake up after a nuclear blast to find everybody dead?
  42. I know it’s not the healthy way to think about it, but.. To me he’s not dead, he’s just not here at the moment.
  43. Wait, what are you doing? You can’t nail your shoes to a skateboard! How are you going to move, like you need to kick to get momentum to get from point A to point B.
  44. Ignore the fucking stumble on the chairs. I’m still cool as fuck. 
  45. ”Okay, how am I supposed to open this door?”
    ”Just kick it on the middle and push. I think I fucked it up when I slammed it yesterday…”
  46. Stop starting at me, I feel like you will punch me…
  47. ”Hey –”
    ”Don’t spoil the silence, dear.”
  48. Just because I don’t know what I’m doing, doesn’t mean I’m not gonna do it.
  49. You motherfuckers are playing basketball and didn’t invite me?!
  50. It makes me feel so much better knowing you could severely hurt yourself doing this.
  51. “Why didn’t you try to stop me?!”
    “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was my job!”
  52. He has moments of bravery, more than I can say about you.
  53. “The road is ending, what do we do?”
    “Ditch the car! Save yourselves!”
    “Don’t jump out of the -”
  54. The boss wasn’t expecting you to survive.
  55. Is she expecting me to go after her? Because you know, my knee is pretty messed up and.. Alright, I’ll do.

chapter titles;
  1. No Death For The Cowardly
  2. Man With A Purpose Has To Be Feared
  3. Ticket To Heaven Or Hell
  4. The Pain That Happens In Love
  5. We Cannot Change The Past, Time Boy
  6. Loosing Fingers Left And Right
  7. We Will Always Question Did We Deserve It
  8. Don’t Be An Animal, Use The Doors
  9. If Resulting In Slight Stabbing
  10. We Aren’t Who They Think We Are

a/n: so, I’ve been slow with catching up with the 100 lately (exams do that to you), but today I finally got the chance to watch the latest episode. and let me tell you, I wanted to throw something at my screen. clarke’s conflicting emotions over her decision and how it affects bellamy (and her mother) vs. bellamy’s drive to save his sister and the need to prove clarke’s skepticism wrong, all brought to a sudden end when the scene cuts off with clarke bringing her hand down and letting bellamy go. i’m sorry, where’s my resolve? emotional backlash? hurt feelings? where’s my bellamy and clarke get to talk like in season 3 where he confronts her about her leaving him? where’s my bellamy telling her off her high horse? where’s my clarke says she’s sorry scene? where’s my- well, you get it. 

and since i got nothing of that, i decided to spin my take on it. so have a 4x11 missing scene that will hopefully let you breathe a little easier (worked for me)


together or not at all (ao3)

He looked at her one last time, at the gun hanging from her hand, at her face - and God, Clarke felt that look spreading like poison through her lungs, making every breath a struggle - and then kept on climbing the stairs, heavy steps fading into nothing as he neared the hatch.

Her fingers were numb from clutching the gun, her wrist hurting from the pressure of having it pointed at him and not wanting to shoot him at the same time. Her eyes stung from her tears and the air rattled inside her ribcage. Then, like a puppet having had its strings cut, she stumbled back few steps, feeling dizzy, weak, and leaned on the wall behind her, sliding down on the floor, the gun slipping from her hand.

The tears keep on sliding down her cheeks and she doesn’t try to fight them. She figured that was how the monuments of the Old World felt when the nuclear bombs hit them - empty, cold, crumbling to dust, big hunks of stone and metal reduced to shadows of themselves, having lost all that made them stand proud and represent an idea.

Her left hand, the one that had pulled the trigger on him, was shaking. Clarke brought it to her face and laughed, let out a sob, was this what she had become?

One sob turned into a second one, into a third one, until she was heaving with the force of her crying, arms around her legs and pulled tight against her body, rocking back and forth in a desperate attempt to keep the panic away.

She had let Bellamy open the bunker. She had doomed her people to a possible death. She had risked the fate of the human race. She had lied and gone behind the backs of people she had claimed to care about only for it to be just another hollow promise, another hollow explanation,  another deceit born out of desperation and having the world rest on her shoulders.

She took a shot but couldn’t pull the trigger, not on him. And there laid the problem.

Her ears still rang with the sound of Bellamy’s voice, with the noise from the bullet. When did she become this girl, this woman? When did she lose herself in the desperate attempt to always have all the answers, to always be right?

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My prompt list

1. “Things didn’t have to end like this.”

“But we always knew they would, didn’t we?”

2. “I don’t want to just survive, I want to live”

3. “We spend so much time running away”

4. “I will never forgive you for this. Ever.

5. "You have about five seconds to explain what the hell is going on”

6. “You killed my mother… I can’t let you get away with that.”

7. “You really know how to pick ‘em, huh?”

8. “I just punched you, take that as a sign that I most definitely do not like you.”

9. “You could’ve at least pretended to be interested in what I have to say.”

10. “Maybe I love you as more than a friend, and maybe I didn’t tell you because i knew this is how you’d react.”

11. “I kill people because I want to bring them peace. No one deserves to live in such a horrific world.”

12. “What? Is it too much?”

13. “Am I on fire? Like, literal fire?”

14. “You look like hell.”

“I’ve just got back.”

15. “I thought you were dead.”

“I was.”

16. “Please can you just stop and listen to me for a second!”

17. “I would do anything for you”

18. “This might sound crazy but I’m here from the future and if you don’t come with me you’re going to die.“

19. “I’m not a bitch. Ok, I’m lying, obviously.”

20. “This isn’t the real housewives of Kansas!”

21. “No one is going to hurt you while I’m around.”

22. “Stop it, please, you’re hurting me.”

23. “Can you get that gun out of my face please?”

24. “Everything will end up the way it should.”

25. “Did you really think we wouldn’t track you down?”

26. “Are you ok?”

“Me? Oh, I’m fine. I’m just crying because It seemed like fun.”

27. “I don’t scare easily, you evil bitch.”

28. “You can take everything away from me, but please leave ____ alone!”

29. “My heart might be cold, broken and damaged. But it is strong enough to know that I deserve better than you.”

30. “If you walk away, that’s it, that’s the end of us. I mean it this time… I’m tired of being left, I won’t let you get away with it for much longer.”

31. “I always blame others for my mistakes. Just kidding, I don’t make mistakes.”

32. “I’m not a kid anymore, you don’t need to babysit me. I can take care of myself.”

33. “I always dream about her, and I love it because it feels so real. But, when I wake up, I realise that she’s gone and I can never hold her again. It feels like a lose her all over again, and it’s just as painful every time.”

34. “Some couples dance under the stars, some go on romantic vacations. We, however, walk into dangerous traps on purpose that were set out by monsters who want to kill us. Happy anniversary.”

35. “Me? Unhealthy? Yes.”

36. “Why did you leave without saying goodbye?”

37. “Next time you wanna go in a murder spree, remind me not to wear white. I will never get this blood out of my dress, thanks to you.”

38. “I lit some candles yesterday and accidentally summoned a demon into my home and I don’t want to be mean and kick him out because he said he likes my hair.”

39. “Life is so rare and beautiful, it’s only meant to be lived once. Being brought back, it ruins the beauty and specialty of it all.”

40. “I really wish that for once you would just tell me the truth.”

41. “I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.”

42. “I just saved your life, the least you could say is thank you.”

“There’s nothing to be thankful for, I now owe you a favour.”

43. “Maybe, sometimes, I’m not so proud of who I am.”

44. “I don’t know how you got to look like that, but damn, God did right by you.”

45. “Please tell me that I’m wrong, I don’t want this to be true.”

46. “This human is mine, do not touch.”

47. “It’s ok, I’m here. You’re safe now.”

48. “What are you doing?”

“Just remember to bring me back.”

“No! Please don’t do this.”

49. “I’m not talking to you.”

“Then I’m not talking to you.”

“Well, that’s the way it would work.”

50. “How do you know this will work?”

“There’s only one way to find out.”