Request:stan likes her, she finds out when she hears eddie and richie talk about it, but she is in love with bill and stan doesn’t understand it, but she chooses bill.
Request: can you do a Stan x reader were he gets jealous?
A/N: sorry this is kind of sad? also I hope you don’t mind I did two requests in one!
It was unrequited. Stan knew that. He knew that Y/N would never love him. He knew that no matter what he did, or how hard he tried, Y/N would always love Bill. He tried to ignore and suppress his feelings at the start, telling himself it was just a silly little crush and that he would get over it. After a while, it got harder and harder to say those words because over time, they got meaningless. It was not just a silly crush and he wasn’t getting over her.
It all developed when Y/N stood up to Henry Bowers and protected Stanley from a vicious beating, he couldn’t help but feel grateful. Afterwards, he noticed the other little things she would do for him, like defend him when Richie was teasing and always holding the door open for him. It was the little things that Stanley really appreciated. He began giving her flowers, in secret, and writing her sweet love poems and notes that he’d stick on her locker. A lot of the time, Patrick or Henry would see them and tear them off, laughing at whoever they had pulled one over on. However, the odd times, he would see one peeping out of Y/N’s backpack, or he would see her clutching one to her chest as she exited the school gates. Truth be told, he knew she probably thought they were from Bill, but he did have hope. She once had asked Bill about them when they were cycling home, he said he didn’t write her any poems. That sent everyone into a state of confusion, including Y/N. If bill didn’t write them, then who did?
It wasn’t even as if Stan had told anyone or was struggling to be discrete with his secret messages. He was very good at hiding his feelings for Y/N and made sure to leave the notes when no one was around. He was also a very mellow and shy type of guy so not accidentally spilling his guts, was something that came naturally.
Stan didn’t know why he left Y/N little flowers and wrote her sweet messages, he didn’t know what his end game was. He certainly wasn’t the type to sporadically exclaim his own love for Y/N and he wasn’t about to do it out spite. Neither was he about to drop his feelings for her in an instant, like he had initially hoped. So why was he putting himself through all of this hell? This pain?
“So, who do you think Stan the man likes? I mean he’s got to like someone!” Y/N heard Richie say as she peeped her head around the corner. She saw Eddie standing next to Richie as they continued conversing about Stan’s love life. She knew she should move away, it wasn’t her place and it wasn’t theirs neither, yet she stayed.
“I think I know, but, I’m not telling you, Richie! You’ll tell the full school and Stan would kill you!” Eddie said giggling as he teased his friends.
“No, nah, no I wouldn’t! Don’t lie, Kaspbrak!”
“You so would, Tozier!”
“Listen, Eddie Spaghetti, I so wouldn’t!”
“Fine! It’s totally, Y/N, isn’t it! There’s no way it’s Bev, so it has to be her!”
“Oh, my god! Stan the man has a crush on Y/N! He is never living this down! Oh my god!” He said pumping his fists against Eddies chest while Eddie smacked his hands off.
There was no way Stan liked Y/N. No way. She was with Bill. He didn’t like her in that way. No way.
Just as expected, she didn’t feel the same way. After Y/N found out, she left a note on his locker, it said she wanted him to stop sending her flowers and writing her notes and that she didn’t feel the same way. However, it did say she would do him the pleasure of not telling the others, how lucky was he?
Are you out to family? If so how did they take it and how did you come out?
i came out to my mom when i was 15. i was in the shower one morning and she walked into the bathroom to do her makeup and i have no idea what made me say it but i was like “you know i like girls, right?” and she said what and i repeated myself and then she left the bathroom.
a couple days later she gave me a necklace with a rainbow heart pendant with a peace sign inside. it’s fucking hideous. but she gave it to me along with a little speech about how she loves me no matter what and i’ve still got that butt ugly necklace in a box on my bookshelf
i never really came out to my dad? he’d been openly and proudly homophobic my whole life and i was scared how he’d react. it took a couple more years but eventually i just stopped purposely censoring myself around him. he’s still openly homophobic but he very rarely directs it at me which is.. more than i’d hoped for.
a couple months ago he came home from work and came straight to my room. he said he had a present for me. you know those painted rock scavenger hunts that everyone’s doing these days? he had found a rainbow painted rock that said NO H8 and he gave it to me and then left without saying anything else and i am literally still crying about it as i type this lmao
my sister laughed and said she’d known for years, and asked if i’d gotten laid yet. i didn’t come out to my brothers but they all know and i convinced them butch is a slur so when they’re feeling homophobic they just validate my butchness. i don’t really care about my other family members so who knows what they think
of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher
is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every
school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video
tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity
(and for an easy way to bring up their GPA).
harry has truly got his band ready to go into kiwi at a moment’s notice lmao. i like to think they’re just constantly lowkey braced for him to throw out “she worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes” no matter what song is supposed to be next, knowing it could happen 1-4 times depending on how wild harry’s feeling.
thank you guys so much for all the love on this fic. Please read my notes on the bottom as they are important! ty!
summary: a soulmate au where everyone has a tattoo exactly like their soulmate
pairing: eddie and richie
Eddie woke up even more exhausted than he was when he fell asleep. He let a breath out of his mouth and took in a long one through his nose. He kept his eyes shut. He wasn’t ready to face the world yet.
Everything he loved was gone, he suddenly realized. This thought jolted him awake, causing him to sit straight up in a panic. It hadn’t occurred to him that he lost everything yesterday. All of his friends were bound to know. They all hung out together. They were the Loser’s Club and Eddie had ruined that. They could never all hang out anymore as Eddie couldn’t bear to be in the same room as Richie, let alone even think about him. He started to really panic, then.
His breathing was rapid and shallow and his hands were shaking violently. Eddie got up, stumbling, trying to find his damned inhaler. It wasn’t in his pocket, nor his backpack, or on his desk. He couldn’t breathe. At this point, he didn’t know if it was even an asthma attack anymore, or if it was one in the first place. It was so much worse. His head was spinning and he couldn’t see anymore. It was in his jacket, he remembered suddenly.
Eddie collapsed on the ground, catching himself with his hands as he tried to steady his breathing, but nothing was working. His heart was racing and he couldn’t stop shaking. Eddie was sobbing uncontrollably, his vision blurred from the tears. He didn’t know what was happening. His lungs felt constricted and he couldn’t get any air in. He was hyperventilating, trying to breathe but couldn’t. He tried to move towards his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair. He was shaking so badly that he could barely move. His hand grasped the chair, pulling it and knocking it over. The light blue inhaler fell out of the pocket of his coat, landing a couple inches away from him. He grabbed it, instantly feeling as if he could breathe again when he took his first two puffs of medicine.
An hour passed before Eddie could stand again. HIs legs were shaky but he managed to get to his bathroom. He found it odd that his mother hadn’t come to get him yet until he realized that it was four in the morning. Eddie knew he couldn’t go to school, but he couldn’t stay home ‘sick’ as his mother would take him to the hospital. He washed his face with some water and laid back down and attempted to fall asleep.
His mother woke him up at 7 am and tried to get him to take his pills as she did every morning. He walked out of the house and rode his bike to park. Eddie read there all day. He needed to take a breather and reading was his escape. The cool breeze against his skin calmed him even more as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the tree he was sitting up against. It was odd to feel so peaceful. At three o'clock, he headed home as if he had gone to school.
“Eddie bear, how was school?” She asked from her chair in the living room.
“Fine.” He responded quietly, heading upstairs and into his room.
Eddie felt bad about lying, not going to school, but he knew he couldn’t face Richie, Bill, or anyone for that matter. He checked his cut from the previous day, and it was still healing properly. That was one less thing for him to worry about. Eddie laid back on his bed, sighing. Could his life get any worse?
“W-W-What did you d-do?” Bill demanded, slamming his Chemistry book down on the loser’s lunch table. He was beyond pissed.
Richie looked up at Bill through his coke bottle lenses. Stan was pissed too, standing behind him with crossed arms and narrowed eyes. “I didn’t do anything!” He defended, pushing his glasses further up on his nose. “I-”
“Where is Eddie?” Stan interjected, sliding into the seat across from Richie. “He isn’t here today and he was supposed to tell you how he felt yesterday. What the hell did you do to him, Richie?”
Richie scoffed. “So that’s why he was avoiding me.”
Bill looked at him confused. “W-What do you mean av-av-avoiding you?”
Richie rolled his eyes. “You know when someone doesn’t talk to you and walks different routes in the hallways so they don’t see you. Gee, Bill, I thought you were smart.” He replied sarcastically, sticking his plastic fork into eerily yellow mashed potatoes.
Stan leaned forward on his elbows. “So, if he avoided you, why isn’t he here?”
Richie let out an exasperated sigh, leaning backward in his chair. “He told me in the gym locker room, alright?”
Bill sat down next to Stan, looking at Richie to egg him on.
Richie sighed again. “And I was too shocked to do anything and he ran out crying.”
“Hey! I tried to go to his house and apologize and he slammed the window shut. He wouldn’t listen to me.” Richie grumbled. “I really tried! But I have a plan.”
Stan and Bill exchanged glances. Bill nodded a little and Stan sighed. “What’s your plan?”
Richie sat up straight. “You two need to convince him to come over. Say it’s everyone but me.”
Bill frowned. “H-He’s not gonna b-b-believe us, Rich.”
“Make him believe you! I need to talk to him. I need to explain.” Richie protested, running a hand through his hair.
Bill nodded. “I’ll t-try.”
Richie looked at Stan, who was staring down at the table. “Stan?”
“I’m not gonna help you if all you’re gonna do is break his heart. He doesn’t deserve that, Richie.” He deadpanned.
Richie was offended and a look of hurt flashed across his face before he composed himself. “I am not going to hurt Eddie!”
“Sure, telling him you only wanna be his friend isn’t gonna hurt him.”
“This is the one time I’m not being a sarcastic dipshit, Stanley! Are you listening? I said I’m not going to hurt him. I would never hurt him. I love him!” Richie slammed his fist on the table, causing a few kids to look over at them. “Did you hear that?”
“At least they didn’t cut off your ears like they cut off your dick.” Richie spat, getting up and walking away. The bell rang moments later. Bill grabbed his bookbag and stood up, gently nudging Stan to do the same. Richie was standing near his locker, attempting to open it but getting the combination wrong.
“What, Stanley? What the hell do you want?” Richie practically growled, turning and glaring at Stan. If looks could kill, he would be dead ten times over.
Richie’s hard stare softened a little. “Thanks. I’m sorry I got mad but you gotta admit that line was good.” A small smile crept onto his face, and even Stan chuckled a bit.
Bill was assigned the job to get Eddie over, and Stan was to get everyone else in on the plan. He walked up to Eddie’s door and knocked. There was shuffling and a shout of “I got it” from Eddie. He opened the door and saw Bill, his face paled a little.
“H-Hi,” Bill said quietly. “C-Could we talk?”
Eddie glanced behind him for a moment to see if his mom had fallen back asleep or not before nodding and stepping outside, shutting the door behind him. “What do you wanna talk about because I’m not gonna talk about him.” He put emphasis on the word him. He sounded angry, disgusted, even. He laced his fingers together, still a bit shaky from his panic attack this morning.
“N-No. The group w-wants you to come over. Minus R-R-Richie.”
“Oh, no. I am not falling for that. He’s gonna be there when I get there and I don’t want to talk to him.”
Bill shook his head. “Please? I-I-It’s movie night. You can p-pick.”
Eddie glared at the ground, trying to work the request over in his head. He finally let out a long sigh and nodded. “Fine.”
They rode their bikes to Bill’s house in silence, neither of them knowing what to say, so they said nothing. Eddie set his bike up against the house as he always did, following Bill inside. Georgie greeted the both of them with a hello and a smile.
“H-Head to the living room, I-I-I’ll get the snacks,” Bill said, heading to the kitchen. Eddie nodded, walking towards the living room. He walked in, glancing around the room at the various decorations on the wall. Paintings and pictures of their family were scattered around the room. It felt homey.
Eddie was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard the door shut. He turned his head to look, only to find Richie standing there. His breath hitched in his throat and he knew he had paled. It wasn’t even five seconds before he started to get angry. He knew this was a set-up.
“I fucking knew it,” Eddie grumbled.
“Eddie-” Richie started, but Eddie had had enough.
“No, Richie. I don’t want to hear it. I’m really not in the mood to listen to you tell me you don’t feel the same way and that you hope we can be friends. Because we can’t be friends, Richie! I don’t want to be your friend. I can’t be your damn friend.”
Richie Tozier was silenced by Eddie for the second time that week. It was a new record. He composed himself before stepping forward. “If you let me show you something, I promise I will leave you alone.”
Eddie was shocked that Richie was being serious. He was never serious in all the time he’s known the guy. He was always cracking inappropriate jokes at the wrong time. Despite all of his instinct to say no, Eddie nodded.
Richie let out a sigh of relief before spitting onto his hand.
“That is disgusting! What the hell are you-” Eddie cut himself off as he watched Richie take his spit and use it to smudge his soulmate tattoo off his skin. It wasn’t real. This whole time, Eddie thought that Richie had a soulmate. It was fake.
Richie watched Eddie for a moment before deciding to explain himself. “My mom used to tell me I would be made fun of for not having a soulmate. That I wouldn’t fit in. So, one night I decided to draw one on every morning so I would fit in. It sounds shitty and kind of is but- Eds are you listening?”
Eddie walked forward and grabbed Richie’s hand. He was holding back the urge to cringe, as Richie’s saliva was now on his hand. Richie didn’t understand what Eddie was doing. He let him move his finger until it was placed right next to the corresponding one on Eddie’s hand. Under Richie’s tattoo that he drew on, was a small, circular and blotchy birthmark. It was identical to Eddie’s.
“What the fuck,” Eddie announced. A smile spread across Richie’s face while Eddie started to ramble. “What does this mean? Are these soulmate tattoos? They look like birthmarks! Why the hell would this be a soul-”
Richie grabbed his face in his hands, leaning in and pressing his chapped lips onto Eddie’s soft ones. Eddie was stiff for a moment before he melted into the kiss and started to do the same that Richie was. Eddie was unsure where to put his hands or what to even do. Before he could react, Richie pulled away, slowly opening his eyes to find Eddie completely red.
“I love you too, Eds.”
Eddie had a content smile on his face. “Don’t call me that, Trashmouth.”
“Ah, Trashmouth, what a nickname. You really know how to charm the boys.” Richie sassed, throwing his arm over Eddie’s shoulder. “Shall we tell the rest of the losers that Bill and Stan have competition?”
Eddie and Richie showed the rest of the group their tattoos. Stan had this smug look of “I told you so” written across his face and so did Bill. They ended up watching a rom-com, much to Eddie’s dismay. Richie kept his arm around the smaller boy the whole night, pressing chaste kisses to his forehead every once and awhile.
Richie and Eddie rode back to their houses together that night. They arrived at Eddie’s house first, both of them silent.
“Gee, you could cut this sexual tension with a knife.” Richie joked, leaning forward on the handlebars of his bike.
Eddie rolled his eyes, using his kickstand to stand his bike up next to his porch as he always did. Richie hopped off his bike, letting it lay on the ground. He walked up to Eddie, pinching his cheek. “So, Eddie Spaghetti, where do you wanna go on our first date of being fuckbuddies?”
“You ruined it.” Eddie sighed, slapping his hand away.
“I didn’t ruin anything!” Richie retorted, smiling. “I made it better.”
“Okay, Tozier,” Eddie said, leaning forward and kissing Richie briefly.
Richie had a smile plastered on his face. “Goodnight, Eds.”
“Goodnight, Trashmouth,” Eddie said before he shut the door. He quietly snuck up the stairs. His mom was still asleep in her chair. He fell back on his bed, a content smile on his face.
Eddie Kaspbrak was happy.
SO HELLO HERE ARE A FEW NOTES PLS READ TYSM
this ending is ending a. i wrote two endings because i couldnt decide which i liked better
so ending b will be posted after part four as a bonus lil chapter thingy
you can decide whichever you prefer to be canon as i love them both
also im really self concious about this part so please give me your honest feedback ilysm
let me know if you want an epilouge! i would be down to write it
I think we all noticed that the only person that even tried to talk to Keith in s4 and remind him of his importance to team Voltron was Allura. It then occurred to me that shewas the only one on the team that suspects Keith greatly underestimates his own importance.
This is not to say that the others don’t care about Keith, but nobody else had any reason to believe that he felt this way. Shiro has paramount trust in Keith’s abilities, Lance thinks he’s got it made because he’s so talented, and Hunk and Pidge don’t even seem to know him all that well.
But Allura was the one there with him in that pod in s2e6 when he talked about how the team needed Allura to pilot the castle ship while brushing off his own importance, and you can bet your life she noticed the stunned looked in his face when she implied the team needed him just as much. I believe it was then when she first realized that Keith’s opinion of himself is so low that he fails to see just how much she matters, even as a paladin.
From the look on Keith’s face, it was obvious that he’d never even stopped to consider it, and that’s something that the perceptive Allura didn’t miss.
She was also there later, s2ep12, when Keith volunteered himself to infiltrate the main galra ship to finish what Thace had started. You can see the shock and concern plainly on her face, especially considering how Kolivan had basically just called it a suicide mission. It affected her enough that she made the decision to approach him by the pods before he left. She took this moment not only to apologize to him for her unwarranted actions earlier but also to remind him that he was indeed cared for.
By this point, I think Allura realizes that Keith’s detachment does not stem from stoicism or lack of caring (she’s seen him care… she was the sole witness of Shiro and Keith’s hug in s2e9) but from his own lack of self-worth. This moment isn’t just about her getting over her personal issues and prejudice against the galra. It’s also about her trying to drive the point home that Keith is important to them, not just as a paladin or resource in this war, but as a person.
And then we see this again in s4e1:
SHE IS THE ONLY ONE TO APPROACH HIM without the intention of scolding him. She probably didn’t know that Keith had almost died, but she did know that Keith lost a comrade. Just from the soft “thanks” that he manages after, you can tell that he hadn’t been expecting that kind of concern and I’m pretty sure she knew that and provided her support as best she could.
She’s worried about the growing distance between him and the rest of the team and she tries to remind him that he’s important. The way she adds “WE cannot” at the end of her statement is deliberate. She wants him to understand that he matters to the team AS A PERSON, rather than just a resource. Sure, he’s important to the mission… but he’s more than that to them.
Keith seems to ponder over this, but the idea probably just seems too farfetched to him. The only person in his life that he thought for sure cared about him was Shiro and their relationship at this point in the series is so degraded that he just can’t fathom it. In his eyes, if Shiro doesn’t seem to care, why would anyone else? (This is not me saying Shiro doesn’t care, by the way. This is just how Keith probably sees it, especially after their last few encounters.) And of course, the distance keeps growing and Allura is the only one that seems visibly concerned and it breaks my heart.
After Keith confirms her worst suspicions.
And that’s when it fully hit her just how unworthy Keith considered himself of being the black paladin, the leader, and that HE WAS PLANNING ON LEAVING. She just looked like her heart dropped when it happened. But Keith’s made up his mind and Shiro gives him his blessing, so all she can do is support him and remind him again that they do care.
Allura was probably the only one aware of Keith’s low self-esteem since s2e6 and she tried her very best to make him see how far from the truth he really was, though Keith never realized this.
A side note, I think if Lotor hadn’t shown up at the end and stopped Keith from sacrificing himself for everyone else, she would have taken it the hardest because she knew exactly what would have been going on inside his head when he made his decision, and she couldn’t stop him.
now i am going to take out any part of him being a toxic or horrible boyfriend and give facts on why aside from the toxic claims by the fandom, the reasons that most fans have problems with him and with karamel
1. His arrival was followed by the immediate break up of karolsen
after a season of build up there were many fans extremely upset with this
Chris Wood tends to always be introduced as a love interest for the protagonist when ever he shows up on a cw show and we all knew that was what was happening
2. His waking up
the moment Mon-el wakes up we get an episode centered mostly around him, it has Alex moments and the introduction of sanvers but it revolves mostly around Mon-el
this began a cycle of Mon-el taking over episodes not completely but he took a big spotlight in the show
he chokes Kara the first time he sees her, now this action is a fight or flight instinct but it is something that was remembered and will not be forgotten by most of the fandom
3. taking up more screen time than most any other character
if you look at it, you will see that Mon-el from the moment he lands takes up screen time, and though he can be a good character and his arch can be interesting he takes up more screen time than necessary
the use of other characters to prop up his story is evident
he in as early as 2x05 is getting near equal screen time to Kara and that is not something that the show used to do, the show used to give more screen time to female characters rather than the male
4. over shadowing Kara
at first it was a slow growth of him to over shadow Kara’s screen time but by mid season it was apparent that the show was going to focus not on Kara developing but Kara helping Mon-el develop
this took away from the main character it gave us no true Kara story arch but a Mon-el story arch in which he became a hero
5. the Mon-el story arch was because of his relationship with Kara
rather than have Mon-el learn on his own and become a better man before entering a relationship they put him with Kara for him to change him
this is what put many fans off, now it is not a woman’s job to help a man become better,
they rushed this if they had slowed it down and made it a back ground arch then it would have been better accepted by fans and critics
6. His lying
now before you stop reading this is not about him abusing kara in any way it is simply the fact that he did lie, weather he planned on telling the truth or not does not matter
he from the moment he landed lied about who he was,even if it was for his own protection he did so
he chose to keep that secret even when Kara had allowed him into her home and into her life as her friend
he kept it as they began dating and had slept together (many of the fandom see that as a huge problem)
they see that in lying to her would she have ever slept with him if she knew
doesn’t that mean that he was commuting a form of manipulation and deceit it does not sit well in the stomach to think of it
7. the big villain
he became a hero yes that is true no matter what the show sees him as one, but he also brought the villain
rather than help his planet and later figure out how to escape he stayed bringing a terror to earth
this meant that rather than the villain being a supergirl villain it was his villain a Mon-el villain
8. they used Sanvers to prop up Karamel
they introduced sanvers early on in this season and sadly as the season went on we got less screen time for the couple
it started in around 2x11 or so,
we are shown in mrs&mr. myx that we get one valentines sanvers scene then a karamel scene it was the beginning of a trend
with every small sanvers scene we got a karamel scene with a kiss and such
while sanvers only got dialog and maybe one kiss per episode, it was easy to see that they began paralleling the two and were using sanvers to prop up karamel
9. Every episode
now it became apparent that he was a lead in the show he had more screen time than alex and near equal to Kara
it became every episode was focused on him and Kara being together and there was never a danvers sisters moment to equal it out
it focuses on the relationship and on how he was suddenly a new man who was scared of Kara leaving him
he was a hero now and the show was more about him than it was anything else we had less super moments and more karamel moments
Funny word, don’t you think? The firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strengths of someone or something.
One would still think that after months of being in a relationship with a respected and loving other, trust would’ve been conquered by now.
Unfortunately, not for them. Not for Harry.
Harry’s been in a relationship with Y/N for 9 months and a half now and to say they had grown pretty close to each other was really something else.
He adored spending his time with her, going out for dinner, waking up to her sleepy figure every day he was home, going out for a walk, or even just sitting or lying in comfortable silence with her. He absolutely loved sleeping cuddled up to her body when she’d stay the night and wake up to delicate kisses on his nose, and being greeted with a big and happy smile once he opened his eyes.
He was wholeheartedly and undoubtedly smitten with Y/N. He tells himself everyday that he has never met anyone like her — and he’s so sure of it. Harry has never admired anyone more than he does her. He’s never felt such intense feeling of respect and sincerity. So why can’t he trust her? He knows that from his past experiences in relationships or with his “friends” in general, the word ‘trust’ was empty to its meaning, for the people he actually trusted and put faith in, broke every promise made and took back every word once given to him. Of course not all of them were like that, but they were just the right amount to make him change his point of view on certain aspects of life.
After so many years of mistrust and back-stabbing from those who were supposed to love him and be there for him through every step of the way, Harry has unintentionally grown suspicious and doubtful to every situation and person he met. He didn’t mean to but who could blame him? He had gotten hurt so many times, he felt as though he had to do something about it, and, (un)fortunately — he really doesn’t know — he had. He’s changed. No, not to the degree no one would recognize him anymore. No. But his brain and his heart chose to keep a safe distant from the people that came into his life, so if they were to hurt him, it wouldn’t hurt as bad. Or at least, that’s what he thought.
To Harry’s dismay, Y/N wasn’t oblivious to any of it. She was catching up onto how Harry would always shut her out when he was upset, or how there were times he’d spend days off the radar without telling her anything that’d explain his absence.
Although Harry’s a smart kid, and rationally speaking he knows Y/N is too kind for the world to purposely harm him or anyone else, he just can’t bring his heart around it. His brain knows he can trust her. After all, she’s been nothing but reliable, good and kind to him. She never gave him any reasons to doubt her. However, his heart had been broken and deceived one too many times. He couldn’t possibly force himself to trust somebody. That’s not how things work and he knows it.
Y/N was becoming aware that Harry did not, by any means, trust her. At all. And it hurt a whole damn lot to know that the person you trust most doesn’t trust you back.
And she really did. Trusting him was as easy as the blink of an eye for her. Harry has always been kind and considerate towards her feelings, always respecting them. He never invalidated any of her emotions. Y/N was so delicate and precious to his eyes, he feared breaking her trust with every fiber in his body. He was well aware of the importance trust has and he also knew how much it meant to give someone else your trust.
Although she adores him dearly, she absolutely and utterly hates how he never shares his true self with her. Not that she thinks he’s fake, not at all. She knows he’s one of the most genuine person to ever set foot on earth. Metaphorically speaking, to her, he’s a big, vast ocean, in which both of them are floating in the surface of the water, instead of diving in and submerging in his true colors and seeing all the beautiful and the not-so-beautiful things too. And the best part? She wants to get to know exactly who he is deep inside. Harry has always fascinated and intrigued her in such way that not even she can explain it. She wants to get to know exactly how his heart looks like and know who hurt him this bad he refused to let you see him; through him. But Harry neglects her of every sort of emotional contact that goes deeper than his liking towards her, any form of contact with anything that’s within his heart deep down, whether they’re his insecurities, fears or even his sadness. Hell, she knows he’s not perfect —nobody is— and not for a second that’s what she expects from him.
Truth be told, not even Harry himself liked those deep and dark parts of himself, so why should he let anyone see it? It just didn’t make any sense to him. specially when so many people in his past have took advantage of his vulnerability and most fragile parts.
Sure he prophecies words of adoration to her, embraces her in loving hugs, kisses her oh so tenderly, to all which both of them enjoy very much. But that’s pretty much it. As much as he wish he did, Harry doesn’t trust her. He can’t. He really wishes he could because he knows she’s it for him, but he just can’t. He doesn’t wanna be let down and hurt again due to giving people his trust way too easily. And at this point, it’s not even something he voluntarily does, it’s just his new reality. He doesn’t mean to shut her out but he does. On the other hand, he knows Y/N would never even dream of doing anything like that on purpose to him. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how he feels about this whole situation, so he rather simply avoid facing it at all.
Only if he knew beforehand that this was definitely not the way to deal with this.
Y/N has caught up on to the fact that Harry has been in one of ‘those days’ again. Sometimes he’d stay at his flat the whole time, or even leave, heading somewhere else and be radio silent for a while, until he returned home.
It’s safe to say she was never one up for confrontation. Those types of things scared her to the point she’d feel the need to throw up or even open a hole on the ground and hide in there forever. But she knew she couldn’t do that. At least not when the matter of the subject was Harry and all of his ‘shutting her out’ behavior. Y/N wanted things to change but how? Could she even do it? She’s well aware she can’t go around changing people and their demeanor, but that’s not what she wanted to do either. She just wants Harry to open up to her and let her in, just like she had let him.
Y/N also knew she couldn’t just shoot questions at him either, since they’d only make him more anxious and possibly more closed off, if that was even possible. So she chose the best way—her best way, at least. She’d try to do it slowly and on his pace too, trying to coax small bits and bits out of him every chance she got, with the intention of showing him he could, in fact, trust her.
She didn’t want him to feel pressured or uncomfortable. But, she wonders what went wrong.
Y/N had driven to his house a couple hours ago and got herself in with the spare key Harry gave her a couple months ago.
Thinking about it now, she thinks it’s funny how he trusts her with his home, but not with her with her home — his heart. She’d rather Harry trust her with something as big and important as his feelings and emotions than with his spare key. Of course she’s also thankful for the key. She likes how it makes her feel closer to him; however, just not as close as she wished to be.
After what felt like hours, she finally heard his car being pulled up to the driveway and immediately paused the episode of The 100 she was currently watching.
Harry entered his house as quiet as ever, looking down and with slumped shoulders. Y/N’s heart immediately squeezed at the sight before her: her sweet love was upset, sad or even hurt and she couldn’t do a single thing about it.
She let out a “hi, H,” followed by quick strides in order to reach him. Once she was just a few inches away from him, Y/N embraces him in a tight hug and, to which he gladly complied to. He might not trust her with his feelings yet, but knowing she was there for him made him feel a whole lot better; even if she couldn’t see it. Her company, overall, was just very pleasing to him.
Harry often finds himself distracted from his own feelings whenever she was around. It’s not like it was her fault, just as it wasn’t his either. He thinks that’s the mechanism his brain has created so he doesn’t have to deal with his painful reality when times get hard for him. He knows that’s not the healthiest option nor that’s what he should and must do. Harry knows he should at least try to bring himself out of his distracted state and face his real feelings, his real demons. The only way he’ll get through this is by coming face to face with them—all of them. One can only run from their own selves for so long. He’s been bottling up his feelings all to himself, and only he knows how bad that is for him. Harry thinks that the perfect metaphor to explain himself is a balloon, in which each blow of air symbolized one of his darkest feelings he did not want to face. They’d keep filling the balloon until it exploded. And trust me, it got bad, really bad when he exploded like that.
“So, how was your day, handsome?”, Y/N asked sweetly, hoping he’d give her more of an answer then a simple “good” or “the usual”. Of course that’s exactly what she got. Usually, she would’ve stopped right there, but not today. Not when she knows fully and damn well he’s hurting and all she wants to do is help him and show him he can trust her with every fiber of his body. So she pressed, hesitantly, “H,” she waited for his attention to fully turn to her. “Can we talk?”
“Sure, love. What about?”, he asked sweetly.
“Um… It’s just- I’ve just been thinking that- um… well-“, she let out a nervous chuckle. She really did not know how to phrase it to him. “You don’t seem fine these past few days, and I just really wanted to help you, but I don’t really know how I’d do that…”, Y/N’s hands were sweaty and her arms were laying limply down her sides. “So I was wondering, maybe we could talk about whatever has been on your mind?? You’ve been quite upset lately, I can tell”.
Harry immediately tensed at her words. She wanted to talk to him. About his feelings. Nope. No. That just couldn’t be happening. Not now, not when he was doing a pretty good job at avoiding it.
“Love,” he started with a deep sigh, “there’s nothing to talk about. Promise”, he finished, hoping this conversation would drop there. And it surprisingly did. She didn’t push it any farther. Instead, Y/N took his hand with a slight nod of her head and lead Harry to their bedroom together, so they could call it a night.
She didn’t want to drop it but she was afraid of how he’d react if she pushed it. She wanted to give him time but she couldn’t bare to see him upset like that. She just couldn’t.
Harry was still upset and Y/N insisted on asking him every night if he wanted to talk to her, as well as wondering if he was okay, in hopes that he’d eventually say yes to her. At first, he was very appreciative and kind with her effort. He said thank you, soon following with a tight hug, showing her how much he treasured her endeavor. But as it became more frequent, he was getting quite annoyed, to say the least.
Why couldn’t she just stop asking him all of that? It was clear he didn’t want to talk about it, so why did she press on it? Why couldn’t she pretend he wasn’t upset just like he did? Harry wanted to appreciate her efforts again, but in all honesty, he was sick of it; sick of saying he was fine when he clearly wasn’t, sick of shutting her out. He wanted his feelings to be left alone, although he didn’t want to be alone.
Since the day she first asked him, whenever he came home to his place or hers, she’d always repeat those words and he really didn’t mean to but he was getting quite angry about it. He even began to act a bit colder and more distant from her, but not to the point it was that obvious.
It was just a day like any other, except he was upset again. Y/N’s heart slightly crushed again at the fact he might’ve been hurt or harmed and there was nothing she could do. It was a feeling that was growing quite frequent to her, but she didn’t want to get used to it. She really wanted to be there for him, but it almost felt like he didn’t want her there. She tried to ignore those thoughts, for they’d only bring her down and perhaps make her stop her efforts.
Y/N felt such tenderness and endearment for Harry. She really did. She just wanted to see him happy, smiling that big, gorgeous smile of his and she knew that wasn’t really their reality at the moment.
By this point, Y/N really didn’t know if she was doing it the right way. Was she pressuring him? Did she make him feel like she was trying to force it out of him? She really hoped the answer to both of these were no. But she couldn’t know; she was desperate by now. Desperate to help him; to have his trust.
“Hi, Harry,” she greeted him with a smile once he entered her small apartment. “How was your day?”, she asked him placing a kiss on his lips.
“Okay, I guess,” he dryly replied with a shrug and walked past her, heading for the kitchen.
“So,” she starts, trying to ignore the bitter tone to his words. “You sure you’re okay?”, she asked, leaning her body against the door frame, intently watching Harry gulp down a glass of water.
Harry put his cup down and shot her a glare, “I said I’m okay”, he answered harshly, not giving her a second look as he left the kitchen and sat on the couch.
Tonight was Friday, meaning that it was their movie night. Usually, they’d watch movies all cuddled up to each other, eating take out for dinner and just enjoying each other’s company. Not today though. He sat on the far end of the couch and when she came to sit next to him, he immediately lied down, stretching out his body, so that the space she once thought of occupying was now unavailable. She sighed at his behavior and sat as close to him as possible, right where his feet met her thighs, only to have him shrunk a little, enough to make his touch leave her skin.
And like that they stayed until half-way through the movie. At this point, the movie playing on the screen was long forgotten as she couldn’t stop thinking about how he was acting and this whole ‘trust’ situation. Before she could stop herself, Y/N felt the urge to ask him again, hoping he’d open up. Again. After all, hope is the last to die, right?
thanks for reading it! let me know if anyone wants a part 2 to this x
Creative Content Contributor:@baebae-goodnight (her mood boards are amazing - like all the damn time)
Rating: M - explicit sex, cursing, drinking
Word Count: 6k
Married by obligation, weighed down by circumstance. Except for those nights when you’re both drunk, falling into bed with one another and realizing you’re human. Occasionally this happens, occasionally you fuck. Until your life changes and you realize Namjoon, the very man you’re obligated to, might just be the very man that you crave.
She had nearly a month to be away from it all—the memories and the pain so that she could find it in her heart to move on. It was harder than she thought, though. She didn’t realize how whole Harry made her until she felt empty in a place she once called home. Even with the festive feels still lingering in the air and the occasional company of her childhood friends and family, this wasn’t her home—not anymore.
She had only known Harry for four months but he changed everything she’s ever known. Her entire life had been altered by just one man, and she fell in love all the while.
And she didn’t know just how much she was in love with him until he was gone. She noticed that the first night she spent without him. She felt so cold—so lonely and so heartbroken because it all ended. The restless nights they shared, the love-making the experienced, the laughs and the relentless kissing were all gone.
And she knew from the start she didn’t mean what she said—about hating him. She could never hate him, no matter what he does to her.
But she also knew he didn’t mean what he said, either. Although there was a hint of truth somewhere between his words, she knows him better than she knows herself. He refused to look at her when he said it—kept shutting his eyes and shaking his head—he would have if he meant it.
That’s what makes it worse. She knew he was lying and she still said it. Those horrifying, heartbreaking words that just fell from her mouth because she was angry—angry at the fact he’d even think of saying such things even if they weren’t true. Especially after everything they shared together the night before—everything they gave to each other.
So instead of spending the rest of winter break cooped up in Harry’s apartment—keeping warm under the blankets and whispering sweet nothings in his ear—she spends it alone, spending each passing hour sulking in regret.
-Magnus is a hyper rambunctious drunk surprising no one
-his “training” gets more intense. Now he’s jumping out screaming his name and tripping over his own feet and landing on his face
-Taako is a sleepy drunk
-when he’s tipsy he’s down to party but once he’s good and drunk he starts dozing off and has to be shaken awake
-Lup on the other hand wakes the fuck up and gets lit
-theyve had to extinguish a lot of fires
-Merle is a soulful drunk. He starts talking a lot about god and the afterlife and what matters
-Lucretia is a quiet giggly drunk
- you can’t tell she’s drunk except for when you say something that isn’t even really that funny and she just giggles
-Barry is a “FIGHT ME” drunk
-Lup laughs so hard holding him back from fighting Magnus
-no one can tell when Avi is drunk. He might be drunk right now.
-no one remembers Angus’s first drink cause they all got fucked up but Angus said he’d prefer not to drink again. He did however have fun solving the mystery of what they did last night and how Taako ended up in fantasy jail
-Killian DOES NOT get drunk she has HELLA TOLERANCE
-Carey giggles more than Lucretia does and does little sleight of hand pickpocketing tricks
I opened the door, Nolan standing on the other side, just about to knock.
“Nolan.” I gasped.
It wasn’t the sight of Nolan that made me gasp. It was what he was holding in his hand. A gun.
“Nolan what are you doing?” I questioned looking at him and then back at the gun in his hand.
I could feel the hair on the back of my neck rise.
“she wants me to kill you, they tell me you’re the most dangerous next to Scott.” Nolan said pacing in the doorway.
I couldn’t take my eyes off the gun in his hand.
“Nolan please put the gun down.” I said raising my hands in surrender.
Nolan wouldn’t actually hurt me would he?
“why should I? You lied to me! You’ve been lying to me all along! You had me so fooled for the longest time, but not anymore. I trusted you, I told you everything and you were just faking it all along.” Nolan said raising the gun a little.
He had tears falling down his cheeks now too. I hurt him badly, and I couldn’t take it back.
“Nolan please don’t do this, I’m sorry I hurt you I never meant too. Nolan I lied about what I am but I didn’t fake anything. All of our late night talks, the nights we drove to the cliff and just lay there stargazing, all the times we talked about our future, that was all real.” I said slowly lowering my hands and taking a step towards him.
He raised the gun fully now aimed at my face. He moved his finger to the trigger. I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Nolan.” I said my voice cracking.
“they told me you’d try to plead your case to me.” He spat.
I realized Nolan wasn’t going to put the gun down. I slowly reached my hands down to my belt which again was really my katana. Nolan saw what I was doing and roughly grabbed my arm.
“they told me you’d try that too.” He said glaring at me.
He ripped the belt out of my hands tossing it to the floor.
“Nolan you really want to kill me?” I asked my voice shaking as sobs racked my small frame.
He stared at me for a long couple of seconds.
“they want me too.” He repeated again even more tears falling down his cheeks.
“well what do you want? If you want to kill me go ahead and do it. I’m not going to stop you.” I told him.
Nolan looked at the floor slowly lowering the gun. He dropped it on the floor looking defeated.
“you couldn’t do it Nolan because this isn’t who you are." I said looking at him but he wasn’t paying attention.
His eyes were focused on something on the floor. I looked down to see the note I had dropped when he grabbed my arm. It had his name on the front.
“you can read that if you want.” I said still not moving.
Nolan ran a hand over his face before bending down and picking up the letter. Nolan looked at the letter and then up at me. He took the paper ripping it up. In that moment he ripped up my heart too. I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face as he ripped up the paper. He didn’t even bother to open it.
“It doesn’t matter what it says, everything has changed.” He said looking at me.
I dropped down trying to collect all the pieces of the note and my heart.
“It said I love you.” I whispered before looking up at Nolan’s shocked expression.
I never admitted it out loud until now. He took a few steps back stumbling to my door way.
“You don’t mean that you’re just trying to trick me again.” He said tears falling freely.
I got off the floor walking to stand in front of him.
"Nolan I’m so in love with you it hurts.” I said tears still in my eyes.
Nolan looked at my eyes and then down to my lips. The next thing I knew Nolan’s lips were on mine. He backed me up so he was pressing me to the wall with his body. He had his hands cupping my cheeks as he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck pushing myself closer to him. This was everything I had ever wanted. He pulled away resting his forehead on mine. I could feel the rhythmic beats of my heart speed up from what just occurred. I was even more in love with him now.
"show me.“ He said looking in my eyes.
“Nolan please don’t do this.” I said still out of breathe.
“show me please, I want to see the real you.” He repeated.
I thought about it not knowing If I should. I finally agreed too nodding my head.
“stand back.” I said pushing him back a little bit.
I took a deep breath letting the fox inside of me come out.
Nolan took a couple more steps backwards, looking at me with wide eyes. I took a step towards him but he quickly stepped back. He was afraid of me. I willed the fox to disappear so now I was back to me.
“Nolan.” I said taking another step forward but he stepped back again.
“I knew it.” He breathed before running out the door.
I should’ve called or ran after him but what was the point. Maybe I was the monster that everyone thinks I am. Nolan certainly thought so. I sat on the floor allowing myself to be consumed in my thoughts. I knew that loving Nolan was suicide but I couldn’t stop myself. I don’t know how long I’d sat there until I heard a knocking at my door. I quickly got up thinking it could Nolan that maybe he changed his mind. I opened the door but it wasn’t Nolan standing on the other side, it was Liam.
“Liam.” I said stepping aside so he could come in.
His eyes darted to the ground where Nolan left the gun lay.
“y/n what happened?” He asked looking at me.
I didn’t answer right away.
“y/n answer me. Did they hurt you?” He asked rubbing my back.
"No I’m fine.” I said finally looking at Liam.
“Well Scott needs us at the police station. We met a new werewolf who said she was shot by a deputy and they just picked up two other werewolves, we have to get them out before the deputy kills them.” Liam explained.
I looked back down to the note on the floor. I couldn’t leave everything behind now. I didn’t realize until now how incredibly selfish that was. The pack needed me. Innocent supernatural creatures needed me. If loving Nolan was suicide I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. I picked up my belt clicking it back in place before nodding at Liam. He gave me a smile before we ran to Mason’s car. We drove to the police station in silence, until Liam spoke up.
“I probably should mention Theo’s back too.” Liam said shyly looking over at me.
I didn’t have a problem with Theo, he however really didn’t like me. I did send him to hell after all.
“It’s a good thing I have this then.” I said gesturing to my belt.
“we’re here.” Mason said parking the car.
I went to get out but Liam stopped me.
“I uh never got to say thank you for today at school.” Liam said giving me a smile.
“we have to watch each others backs remember.” I said referring to what Scott told us to do.
“yeah you’re right.” He said walking with me in to the police station.
We met Scott, Lydia, and the new werewolf Quinn. I gave her a small smile showing her I was on her side.
“please Sheriff.” Scott says pleading for Stilinski to let the two wolves go.
“Scott they’re being charged with murder, they aren’t going anywhere. There are still laws and they broke the law .” Stilinski said looking at all of us.
“but it isn’t safe.” I said looking at him.
“right now, I think this may be the only safe spot left in town.” Stilinski said.
“what would Stiles say if he were here? You know he wouldn’t agree to this.” Lydia said.
“yeah plus it was a deputy that shot Quinn anyways.” Malia added.
Sheriff Stilinski looked at us in disbelief.
“A deputy? You sure? I know all these deputies and trust them , I’m pretty sure if one of them was a werewolf hunter, I’d know.” He said.
“this supernatural thing that causes fear, it’s changing people, you’d be surprised what people do when their afraid.” I said.
It was true, just an hour ago the boy I loved was pointing a gun at my face. I don’t think Nolan would ever want to hurt anyone I think he’s just afraid.
“you can’t protect them from the hunters if they’re already inside.” Scott says trying one last time to plead with Noah to let them go.
Quinn told him what happened with the deputy but he still didn’t believe us. Lydia snapped at him and Malia laughed at something that was definitely not supposed to be joke.
“look guys I..” Noah started but suddenly we were blinded by a lot of bright lights.
I brought my arm up to shield my eyes. The deputies raise their guns as Stilinski looks outside.
“what is it?” Scott asks walking over to the window.
We all walk over seeing Monroe standing outside with about a dozen well armed hunters. I looked at each of the hunters. My eyes instantly connected with Gabe’s. I was looking for Nolan and was relieved when I didn’t see him.
“deputies put your guns down and get away from the windows.” Noah says disarming himself.
“Sheriff.” Scott said putting an arm out to stop him but he walked outside anyways.
“Scott what are we going to do?” Liam asked looking at Scott.
I could tell this was going to end one of two ways and I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the peaceful option. Someone was dying here tonight it was just a matter of them or us. Suddenly Malia started to panic.
“we have to get out of here.” She said pacing the room.
“we have to give Stilinski a chance to negotiate.” Scott said trying to stop her pacing.
“how are we going to get Jiang and Tierney out?” Liam asked.
“Screw them.” Malia snapped making Liam stumble backwards.
“Mal, calm down.” I said putting my hand on my belt just in case.
Everyone’s heads snapped up when we heard the familiar voice of Theo Raeken as he entered the room.
“should I kill him?” Liam growled taking a step towards Theo.
“leave him, we have to get the hell out of here!” Malia pleaded with Scott.
Something was wrong. This wasn’t her, it was the fear.
“Don’t you get it we’re trapped! They have all the doors and windows covered, we’re going to die in here!” Quinn says shedding a few tears.
“way to be positive Quinn.” I mumbled.
“can I kill her?” Theo asked looking over to Quinn.
“SHUT UP!” Malia growled approaching Theo.
I quickly un-did my belt snapping my sword in place. Theo looked at me confused to which I just shrugged in response. Scott grabs Malia before she does something stupid. He knows she wouldn’t stand a chance against me. I put my sword away not looking for a fight either.
“there’s only about a dozen of them out there, we could take them, especially with y/n blocking their bullets.” Lydia pointed out still gazing out the window.
“but what about Jiang and Tierney you know the whole point of us being here!” Liam said to Scott.
“we’re getting out of here, all of us.” Scott said nodding at all of us.
Liam goes to get Jiang and Tierney as we prepare to go outside. I snap my katana in to place preparing for a fight. We were just about to bust through the door when Stilinski comes back in.
“what are you guys doing?” He asked looking at us.
“we can take them.” Lydia snapped.
“we’re not fighting. Get back from the windows and Parrish put them back in their cells.” He said pushing us away from the door.
Parrish took Jiang and Tierney back to their cells.
“She’s giving us until midnight to hand them over dead or alive.” Noah said looking at us.
“So let’s prepare for an invasion then.” I said jamming my sword in the door so it would be almost impossible to open.
The others took my advice and started moving desks and filing cabinets to block the windows and doors. I removed my sword and replaced it with the leg of a chair in case I needed it. As Liam and I are moving a desk the power goes out. There was only a dim light coming from the cars outside.
“what the hell?” I questioned looking at the others.
Suddenly a deputy comes in dragging a struggling Nolan. I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes but I fought them.
“I found who cut our power.” She said holding up a pair of bolt cutters.
“Nolan.” I said glaring at him.
He couldn’t look at me though. Liam let out a growl, taking a step towards Nolan. I quickly put my arm out to stop him.
“please don’t make me go back out there y/n, she’ll know I screwed up and she’ll kill me.” He pleaded finally looking at me.
“why should we! You’re a liar Nolan and you’re sick in the head, I say we throw him out.” Liam growls.
I felt the tears I was holding back fall from my eyes. Scott must have saw.
“No, we aren’t throwing him back outside.” Scott said to Liam.
“Parrish lock him up.” Stilinski said looking at Parrish.
Parrish walked over grabbing Nolan. I couldn’t look. I loved him and it was going to get me killed. As soon as Nolan was out of sight I ran to the bathroom breaking down. The reality was now it was him against me. There was no friendship. No love. It was war. Malia walked in wrapping her arms around me. This meant a lot coming from her considering she wasn’t an affectionate person.
“Forget him, if he can’t see who you really are, then he doesn’t deserve you anyways.” Malia said shocking me.
It wasn’t that I thought she was not genuine…. okay maybe I did think that.
“what sometimes I say meaningful things.” She said giving me a smile.
I returned her smile before we walked out of the bathroom. We didn’t get very far when we heard Parrish tell everyone to get down. A smoke grenade went off making it hard to see. I quickly realized the smoke grenade was a distraction. I ran to the holding cells seeing Nolan holding a blue vial of wolfsbane. I quickly tackled Nolan to the ground grabbing his hand that held the wolfsbane. I finally flipped him over so I was straddling his waist and pinning his arms above his head.
“I have to do this!” He said struggling against me.
“Nolan don’t make me have to hurt you!” I said holding him back down.
He stopped struggling and looked up at me with tears in his eyes.
“you’d do that.” He said his voice cracking now.
I looked at his face feeling myself fall back in his trap but I knew I couldn’t let that happen.
“you’re the one that said everything has changed so yeah I would, then maybe you would know how I feel. Nolan you held a gun in my face, you’re trying to kill two innocent teenagers. I’m not the monster Nolan you are. You don’t care about me, the only one faking anything between us was you! and when I die by the hands of your so called "friends” I just want you to remember that I was the one who truly loved you. " I said finally letting out all the emotions I had been keeping locked inside.
Nolan looked heartbroken.
“you really think that I don’t care about you?” He said trying to get one of his hands free.
He finally got one of his hands free and used it to cup my cheek. I completely forgot about Jiang and Tierney who were right there.
“ask me why I didn’t kill you earlier today.” He said looking in my eyes.
“Nolan please stop.” I said not wanting to hear the lie he was about to tell me.
“ask me.” He repeated.
“Nolan why didn’t you kill me?” I asked.
“Because I love you too.” He said leaning up on one elbow.
I didn’t know if he actually meant it but I guess I didn’t care. I leaned down placing my lips on his in a hungry kiss. I knew this was wrong but it felt so right. I let go of his other arm putting my hands on either side of his face. He wrapped his arms around me kissing me deeply. I was suddenly ripped off of him and thrown in to the wall.
“what the hell?” I said struggling to get up.
I looked up to see Liam growling at Nolan. This was all my fault.
So I decided that I wanted to make this in to a series if you guys want me too? Broken got so much feedback in such a short amount of time so that’s pretty rad! I hope this lives up to that!
Creative Content Contributor:@everybodykpops FOR THIS MOODBOARD THAT HAS ME CRYING
A/N: HUGE SHOUTOUT TO @baebae-goodnight for all her help and beta-ing soooo many times on this one. ILY.
Rating: M (cursing, mentions of death, explicit sex - first time)
Pairing: Minseok x Reader
Word Count: 11K
Super Power: Essokinesis
Reality has never been kind to Minseok. Always, he’s been overlooked. Always picked last, always bullied by those larger than him. Until one day, he snaps. He imagines himself towering over his tormentors, striking fear into their puny hearts and dangling them from his palm. When he realizes they, too experience this distorted reality – things begin to change. No longer is Minseok nobody. The first time he steps foot on campus, people know who he is. He sees them whisper, sees them shy away and while he finds comfort in their fear – it’s lonely. When he meets you though, he finds you don’t look away. Perhaps there’s a reason.
Based upon: Bill’s reaction to hearing you’re pregnant.
She had spent the last half hour pacing around her and Bill’s cottage in Sweden, waiting for him to return home from grocery shopping. It was eating her up, she was desperate to tell him, yet she almost feared what he would say; they were not trying for a child.
Finally she got tired of walking around the brightly lit, marbled living room and decided to sit on the leather sofa. However, she could not be still, tapping her foot and twisting her fingers together. She began to think, ‘What if he didn’t want a child? It was coming out in just under two weeks and he was surely going to be signed for more movies once people had seen how incredible he was as the demotic clown. He was just at the beginning of his career, one that could go on for years. It would be unfair to hinder him… he wouldn’t wan this’ She kept on with these fearful thoughts until the sound of the wooden door opening snapped her back into reality.
She could hear the shuffle of his loafers in the kitchen, the sound of crinkling plastic as he set the bags down on the counter.
“Hey Babe.” He called, tone so nonchalant it made her even more nervous.
He began to put the food that would last them for the next five days into the fridge.
“Bill?” She said quietly, almost hoping he wouldn’t hear her.
“Yeah?” His voice came from the kitchen.
She sat frozen on the couch, legs crossed and a knitted, white blanket around her shoulders. Suddenly, she did not want to tell him.
Her eyes snapped up, finding Bill standing in the doorframe. He was donning a black, wool jacket, dark jeans, russet coloured loafers and a confused expression.
She sank back against the supple fabric, then met Bill’s gaze. “I need to speak with you.” She announced cautiously.
He nodded, pale eyes filled with concern and he shrugged off his coat. Placing it on the table, he walked over to the couch she was sitting on.
Night had begun to fall, the once bright blue sky suddenly darker and painted with large streaks of burnt orange and small strokes of pale purple. The massive window in the room looked over the lake and gardens, both of which moved with the soft evening wind.
He took a seat beside her and she slowly turned towards him, pulling her legs into her chest. She was bracing herself for the worst.
“Are you alright?” He wondered.
She nodded. “I’m fine. I’m just…” She looked out the window, unable to bear the sight of his worried face. She took in the slowly lapping waves before speaking. “I love you.” She promised, tearing her eyes away from the outdoors and back to her boyfriend.
He took her small hand in his large one. “You can tell me anything okay? I love you too.” He assured her.
“Bill,” She took a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”
Her whole body went stiff.
His pouty lips cracked into a wide smile and he pulled his lover into an embrace. It took her by surprise, her eyes were wide when he first hugged her, then went calm when she realized he was truly happy.
“I love you.” He breathed, lips near her ear. “I love you so fucking much, babe. You and our baby.” He finished.
She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him. “Are you sure it’s alright? I mean, we weren’t planning for this and your career is just starting to really take off… I don’t want to jeopardize your future.” She explained.
He pulled back and took her face into his hands. “You will never been an inconvenience to me. I swear it.” He promised her, his voice deep and passionate.
She believed him by his tone and way his pale green eyes darkened as he stared at her. It was then that it hit her, they were going to have a baby.
“Hey- Babe,” He soothed when he saw her eyes gloss over, “what’s wrong?”
Her rosy lips broke into a smile, tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. “No, no, it’s just…” She looked into his eyes, “We’re actually doing this.”
He grinned back once he realized she was okay.
“We’re doing this.”
Five months had passed since Bill found out about her pregnancy and it had been one and a half months since he had seen her last. He hated leaving her for a month and a half to shoot a film, but she assured him she would be fine. It turned out she was fine, everything was going perfectly well with the pregnancy. Yet she was terrified for him to return.
She stood under the rainfall shower head, letting the lukewarm water cascade down her bare body. Bill was to be home in a week; she missed him dearly.
After her shower, she stood in the grand closet, grabbing a oversized flannel and sweatpants for the evening.
She dropped the fire red, silk robe Bill had bought her in Paris a year back and she caught her reflection in the rectangular floor to ceiling mirror placed beside her shoe collection. Her mouth dropped.
The first few months did not have much affect on her appearance, sure, she looked slightly bigger, but it was nothing incredibly noticeable. So when she took at the reflection, her heart sunk.
Immediately her mind went to her boyfriend, he had never seen her so large before. She wasn’t daft, obviously she would get bigger; she was growing a child inside of her, but Bill had left when she had just hit three and a half months. The idea that he would think she was ugly plagued her thoughts. There were so many stories on the internet and news about men who had left, cheated or refused to sleep with their partner because they were 'fat.’ Bill wasn’t like those cruel men, he would never do something like that to her. Despite that comforting knowledge, she still felt like shit.
The front door opened and she heard the thump of his bags on the hardwood floor.
“Hey, Y/N. I’m home!” He called.
“I’m in the living room, Babe.” She replied, snuggling deeper into the soft blanket.
He strode down the hall and into the living room, smiling at the sight of her curled up on the sofa.
“How are you feeling?” He wondered.
She smiled, “Everything’s going well.”
He knelt down and hand his large hand through her fine hair. “Do you have an Ultrasound soon?” He asked.
“A week fews.” She said easily, yet felt so relieved. She was wearing an incredibly large sweatshirt over her black joggers, so he couldn’t see the difference.
He pressed his lips to her forehead and gave her a chaste kiss before standing, “Alright. Are you hungry? I can make stir fry soon if you’d like.”
She gave him a small smile, he really was a great boyfriend. “Yes, thank you.” She responded.
He headed off to the kitchen.
They had always taken showers together with the exception of the days Bill had to get up at the crack of dawn to shoot scenes for a movie.
She did not want to shower with him anymore.
He found her in a bubble bath one night, orange candles being the only source of light in the room. Her eyes snapped open at the sound of the bathroom door opening.
“I thought you went out.” She said, a bit too quickly.
He watched as she sank further into the bubbles, leaning her head against the smooth porcelain tub.
“I was supposed to meet Alex but I didn’t want to leave you.” He explained.
He moved to the vanity and leaned against the counter, hands holding the granite.
“You should go. I’m fine here.” She said, trying to sound encouraging.
He shook his head. “What’s going on, Babe? You’ve been… distant ever since I got back.” He confessed.
“No, everything is fine Bill. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.” She apologized.
He sighed and sauntered across the bathroom until he reached the tub where he knelt down onto his knees. Her breath hitched in her throat as he reached his hand out to stroke her neck, moving down to her collarbone. Never had she felt uncomfortable when he touch her. In fact, it was quite the opposite; the feeling of his hands all over her body was something she used to crave. He made her feel good.
But when his hand slipped below the water, she immediately pulled away from him. She couldn’t look into his eyes, knowing they would be filled with worry and confusion.
“Babe…” He said softly.
He definitely knew something was up now.
Her back was pressed against the opposite side of the tub, hands gripping the porcelain on either side of her and her the tops of her slightly larger breasts were exposed. Her breathing was heavy.
“Please tell me what’s going on.” He pleaded.
She could hear the desperation in his voice and she knew it was unfair to keep him in the dark about what she was going through.
“Why won’t you let me touch you?”
She lifted her eyes to meet his, chest still rising and falling quicker than usual.
His heart broke at the sight of her.
“I just want to be alone.” She whispered, breaking contact with him.
He knew that she wanted her space, she had completely shut him out.
She woke in an instant when she felt movement in her stomach. Immediately, she sat up in bed, her breaths turning laboured and hand clutching her large belly.
Beside her, Bill opened his eyes at the commotion. When he saw her sitting up, he threw the sheets back and rose, watching her with concern.
“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly.
Her eyes widened when she understood it was their baby kicking.
“No- nothing! Bill they’re kicking!” She exclaimed, dramatically relieved.
He let out a deep breath.
“Can I?” He asked softly.
Her wide smile dropped as she looked at him.
“Please tell me.”
She sighed and took his hand in her right hand, with the other she pulled her red and black flannel above her stomach and placed it on her large bump.
“You’re beautiful.” He leaned down to kiss her stomach. “You’re absolutely stunning.” He promised her.
She ran her fingers in his messy brown hair, combing through the small tangles. He sat up and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her passionately.
The fact that Donald Trump disrespected Carmen Yulín, who is trying every she can to help her people, and everybody else living on a destroyed island by saying they are lazy and saying that it should be a community effort. Meanwhile, he has been shutting himself off from multiple countries by using racism (Mexico and Charlottesville), being prideful of his own knowledge no matter how flawed it is (Climate Change), has a short fuse and is ready to attack anybody whether they are already against him (North Korea) or trying to get his help. And to top it off, he has mismanaged every single aspect of Congress and tries to cover up his mistakes by lying. Community effort my ass.
Your mind was a jumbled mess. Y/F/N? What did she have to do with anything? He said she was his pen pal? How?
More importantly, why?
You thought he found you out and that made your stomach drop. But this feeling? This feeling was much worse. Now, you lost your friend and it wasn’t even for the right reason. Someone had stole your identity. And it was your very own best friend?
You paced around your room, letting out ragged breaths, waiting for her to stop by your dorm as she did every week.
Your eyes flicked through the conversation again and again and it only made you feel worse about yourself. Even if Jungkook found out it had been you, either way, he would’ve been just as angry and betrayed. God, you were so stupid.
At the sound of your room door opening, your head shot up. Y/F/N sauntered in with a big, fat, grin on her face.
“Hey, Y/N,” she greeted, chirpily.
“’Hey, Y/N’? That’s how you want greet me?” You kept your voice low and whispered.
“What’s the matter? Looks like you’ve been crying,” She cocked her head to the side.
“‘What’s the matter?’” You chuckled, dryly.
“Okay, if I’m just here to have you repeat everything I say without giving me a reason, I’m just gonna go–”
“How could you tell Jungkook that you were his pen pal?”
She blinked at you, taken aback. “That’s what’s got you so upset? Oh come on, Y/N.”
You nodded your head, a dumbstruck expression on her face. Did she have no idea how fucked she made your life?
“Jungkook thinks I lied to him!”
“Well, technically…you did,” She pointed out, rolling her eyes.
Leaning your head forward and furrowing your brows with a frown on your face, you scoffed. “Yeah, but now it’s even bigger lie because you told him you were his pen pal!”
“Ugh, so what? Do you know how annoyed I got whenever you two hung out so much? First, you ditch me for him, and then he actually enjoys hanging out with you, oblivious to the lies you’ve told him! And whenever we all hung out, rarely because you two wanted to hang out alone and do God knows what, all of his attention was on you! Not good for a girl’s self esteem. Especially a girl who was interested.”
You opened your mouth to answer before she cut you off.
“So, I took matters into my own hands,” She shrugged. “It was the perfect opening and I wouldn’t be at any fault. I’d be that mysterious girl you showed me those screenshots of on your messages and I picked up on her…your tactics. Then blah blah blah, I ‘accidentally’ bumped into him, gave away who I was, and we hung out!” By the end of her statement, she looked pleased with herself. Like she had won the trophy.
“But you do realize where that leaves me, right?” You muttered, looking down.
“Stop being so dramatic! You guys will befriend again and we’ll all hang out! You won’t have to worry about having two personas because he got my number! So it worked out for you.”
“But it didn’t! He’s still going to be mad at me and won’t trust me!”
“And who’s fault is that for lying in the first place? You already had your chance,” She challenged. That left you silent. It was your fault. Since the very beginning. No matter what happened between you and Jungkook, you weren’t–your friendship wasn’t–going to last.
“Why now, though? Couldn’t you have told me first?”
“And have you instantly shut it down because of your precious friendship? Face it, Y/N, it was always going to be you and Jungkook over me, right?”
“That’s where your wrong. Don’t you think I would do the exact opposite? Why the hell would I want Jungkook all to myself when I have that guilt burning inside me whenever I look at his face?”
Y/F/N closed your her mouth before opening it again. “I think you know the answer to that question,” She muttered, darkly.
“It was rhetorical! The answer is I wouldn’t want him all to myself!”
“Y/N, fuck, first I thought you’d be relieved. Look! Now, he’s off your back…and what do I get? Yelled at? You’re being such a hypocrite right now and you know it. You claim you don’t want him around because of your ‘guilt’, but now that you won’t have to worry about it, you’re still angry! You shouldn’t be angry. You had this coming, admit it.” The both of you were fuming right now. Y/F/N had a point but there was no way you’d let her get the satisfaction.
“So you just chose him over me, huh?”
“You would’ve done the same. Face it, Y/N. This cute relationship you two have going on, it was going to end eventually. I’m just doing you a favor, saving you from him finding the real truth. At least one, maybe two eventually if I’m lucky, of us might have a happy ending,” And with that, Y/F/N walked out of your room. The door slammed and you threw the pillow you had been squeezing, at it.
Tears brimmed your eyes, but deep down, you knew, it was inevitable. You were going to lose Jungkook.
Well, damn. That was…ouch. Just wait till Jungkook answers tho…. Who here likes Y/F/N? Anyone? *crickets*