how quickly time passes

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hope this is okay :)

“Kiss me? For good luck?” - “You don’t believe in luck.” - “No, but I want you to kiss me.”

Today is a huge day for Anthony, and he can’t quite figure out how the time had passed so quickly to get them there. It was the premiere day of She’s Gotta Have It, and after months of preparation he and Jasmine were now on their way to the red carpet, and he understandably had nerves.

These were a different kind of nerves to anything he’s ever done before, and Jasmine could feel how tense he was on the way there. Jasmine reaches over and holds his hand, squeezing it gently as they make their way off the subway and down towards where the premiere was being held in the city.

“It’s going to be amazing, babe. You know that. There’s no reason to be nervous about it,” Jasmine tries to encourage, although she’s able to tell that it didn’t work.

“I just, what if people hate it? You know? It sucks that there’s a chance that people will wish we just left the original exactly how it was without changing anything,” He rambles, and they’re able to hear the commotion from the red carpet now that they’re only a few blocks away.

“You can’t worry about what people are going to think, Ant. There’s been a lot of people who have seen it and loved it. You can’t please everyone,” She reminds him, and Anthony nods, taking a deep breath as he fishes the passes from his pocket.

“Kiss me? For good luck?” He asks, standing at the edge of the red carpet, awaiting their turn. Jasmine smiles, reaching out to take his hand once more.

“You don’t believe in luck,” She points out, Anthony smiling as he pulls her closer, squeezing her hand.

“No, but I want you to kiss me,” He smirks, Jasmine laughing as she leans up, kissing him a few times quickly before it’s time to make their way onto the red carpet.

She lingers back for most of it, hopping in for a few pictures with him before letting him have the spotlight once more. She can’t help but sneak a few photos herself on her own phone, wanting to remember how immensely proud she was of her boyfriend that night, especially with how nervous he had been most of the morning.

The premiere goes better than Anthony could’ve ever expected, and the crowd that had been invited seem to fall in love with his character and how he’s portrayed. He and Jasmine leave the theater and Jasmine can immediately see how much more relaxed he is now that he’s heard people’s feedback, even though she had been telling him.

“You killed it today, baby. I told you everyone would fall in love with you,” She smiles, Anthony laughing as he pulls her into his side, kissing the top of her head.

“Now we have the after party, and then tomorrow we’re sleeping forever.” His comment earns a laugh from Jasmine, who leans up to kiss him as they make their way into the after party venue.

Jasmine knows that she has so many things to be proud of Anthony for, but right now she finds that this is the most rewarding. To see him relax about his work and be proud of it after once being so nervous had brought her so much joy, and she couldn’t wait to see him burst out onto the scene over the next few projects, more than ready to share how talented he is with the rest of the world.

“Cry Followup”, or “See A Doctor! The Musical”

I got sad. A doctor recommended that I go off my anxiety meds because they might be interfering with a bunch of other health issues. I did. It wasn’t good.

I tapered off for months and dealt with the withdrawal symptoms. When they were gone, I felt ok for a few weeks. Then I was easily irritated and sometimes angry. Then weird feelings started to creep in. I guess it was just dread. Maybe it was weird to just be feeling anything after being numbed on meds for so long. I started crying watching movies sometimes or thinking about whatever the fuck. I started getting really sad. Eventually I would cry everyday, sometimes for multiple sessions. It’s strange to think back on that now that I’m safely numbed to fuck again.

My grandfather had died about 8 months earlier and I thought I had emotionally exhausted that, but now it was back and I dwelt on it constantly. I thought of dying with an urgency that I couldn’t distract myself from. I thought of everyone I knew dying. It felt like time was an illusion and it wouldn’t be long until I’m standing beside their open coffins, reflecting on how quickly time had passed and now they’re gone and I’d wasted time not spending more time with them.

Most days I’d just wake up and lie there for hours. I’d try to look at things on my phone to try to distract myself. Snapchat was fun for that. Christ, so was Miitomo. I wouldn’t get any work done. It was difficult to focus and overcome the feeling in my gut of being pulled down and the constant present terror feelings of death and knowing this whole experience will be gone some day, but before that, I’ll watch everyone I know leave too. For a long time, I don’t think I really connected that it was my absence of meds that was doing this to me. I thought maybe it was just circumstances and some kind of Holmes-Rahe scale thing where a bunch of life events happening at once were stacking and compounding my depression feelings. There was no way to win against it and this kind of thing encourages you to not to the things that will typically pull you out of a depression. It makes you want to seclude yourself more and work on further diminishing your self-worth mentally. Instead of seeing friends or doing activities you enjoy, you convince yourself that you’re a burden to them, they don’t really want to see you anyway, and that something bad is going to happen if you go out and do anything. For so many fucking days I just laid there. That makes your depression even worse; your lack of productivity frustrates you and makes you hate yourself. All that wasted time boils your living asshole. It’s a paralysis and you don’t know why you can’t break out of it. You can’t just go into the other room and sit at your computer and do your work. Brains are incredible. Just a bit of absence from a certain chemical changes everything. Of course, you tell yourself things like this, that it’s not really you and that it’s just a biological ineptitude temporarily and that everything will be fine soon enough, but that doesn’t help at all.

That’s the other thing: you don’t feel like this will ever end. This is who you are now. A fucking shrivelled terrified cryhole. I did feel terror quite a few times during all this. It usually gets you when you wake up or try to go to sleep. Everything is still and You are going to fucking die someday, sooner than you think and You have wasted every moment of your life so far blast in your mind and your heart pounds, you can barely breathe, and you might even suddenly groan as panic waves hit your brain in an instant. There’s a terror in knowing there’s no relief from this; that all of these things are true and for some reason you believed the illusion your whole life and weren’t always in the perfect terror about it that you are now. Still, you beg for that trick to come back, to be able to put this mindset away and believe in the stupid shit we tell ourselves just to keep existing in some kind of calm. All these thoughts keep assaulting you with some kind of biological urgency, like you need to figure this problem out immediately or you die. This is what being on chemicals to help your brain for years and then suddenly going off them is like. Your body doesn’t know what the fuck. It’s weird to not give a shit about any of this and then suddenly imperatively have to give a shit about it and be unable to escape it. Even now when I’m in the clear, I still feel its background noise. Maybe I always will from now on. This whole thing has been a Paul on the road to Damascus type ordeal.

I fucking cried watching the new X-Files episodes, my dude. Probably during each one. That’s what it was fucking like. Imagine being in your late ass twenties and something in the X-Files makes you cry because you think of a squandered opportunity, or what you should or shouldn’t have done as a kid, or wishing you had put more effort into certain relationships with family or friends. It just finds anything to grab onto and get you with. You just have a dragging feeling constantly present and looking for things to attach to and convince you you’re sad about. Frankly, it’s fucking annoying. I cried one time because a nintendo phone app was enthusiastic about sharing my character’s picture with others. Just the fact that someone would have an interest in who I am and treat me like a normal person and want to share something about me with other terrible avatars made me cry as I was playing this thing and trying to take a shit. It made me think about my own self-worth and how long I thought there was no reason anyone should give a fuck. Cripe, one time I was almost screaming crying about my best friend who died when we were 11. It was like a fresh wound again and I was lying facedown on my bed wailing like an asshole. Depression can fuck with you.

So, this got pretty bad and I decided I had to see my GP about it. This can become a battle in itself, because past a certain point, you are convinced you aren’t worth the effort and that you’re a burden to have to deal with, and someone else could use that time to see the doctor instead. It gives you any reason to turn yourself down. I cried right away talking to my doctor. All this is really weird to reflect on; I was an entirely different person then. It was like a frantic sadness, an inability to just hold your shit together for even a few minutes. The impending terror was really pressing; a constant urgent anxiety that something bad is going to happen really soon, or that I’m about to get a call that someone I know just died. The doctor recommended seeing a therapist and going back on meds. Now I remember that the reason I finally did something was because my neighbour’s son killed himself. Fuck, that really bothered me. Hearing about any death at all was bad enough, but I think that week I was reading about Edgar Allan Poe’s death and then Vincent Van Gogh’s, and I just got really fixated on vividly imagining their final moments. I think there were others, too. See? Just a stupid thing to waste your time on but in the moment, you think this will help for some reason. Maybe the gravity of that kind of thing hooks you and you can’t help but look into it. So when my neighbour’s son also committed suicide, that was a pretty strong blow. I hadn’t even talked to the guy in over ten years, but I couldn’t help but fixate on having seen his father maybe 3 days prior as he joked in my mom’s backyard and borrowed a ladder. Now his life was ruined and the son he struggled to try to get mental help his whole life had killed himself. He was only 37 and he had a son. I think I spent a few days of weeping out my stupid ass over this, then made the decision to see my doctor.

I started seeing my therapist and cried within 6 minutes of entering his office. I wish I went to see a talk doctor when I was recommended it as a teenager. It’s good shit. Beyond that, I started seeing my friends again. Before this, I think 2 years had passed between us spending time together. I had talked myself into feeling like they were better off without me anyway and had their own real friends and lives that I didn’t have anything to do with. I started to exercise and even just take walks around the block. Sometimes, if I was just lying awake staring at the ceiling, I’d get up and go for a run. I started being able to work on videos again and looked forward to it. Thinking back on it now, I realize I kept streaming during the whole time. That would become the only thing I’d do or look forward to for most of this stretch. SO THANKS IF YOU LOOKED AT MY TERRIBLE STREAMS DURING THIS ERA I WAS QUITE WOUNDED AND I’M HOPEFUL THAT I WASN’T TREMENDOUSLY OBVIOUS ABOUT THIS, YOU HELPED KEEP ME STABLE WATCHING ME PLAY WITH CHILDREN’S TOYS. Beyond this, I’d just sleep until the afternoon and try to find a way to kill time until the streams started. This is why there were even less videos than usual. I was sad.

So, these things helped pull me out of the shit. A lot of it is self-examination and discovering why you feel this way in the first place. I’ve talked to my therapist about whether or not this whole thing was because of being on meds for so long and then going off them and feeling a withdrawal, or if that’s who I am underneath the medication.  He said that it is probably both, but more that that’s who I am. Fuck. He categorized this as a major depressive episode. It was weird to just hear the words. That is the kind of thing that happens to people in their mid-30s in office jobs who are getting shit on by everything in their lives. I guess it can also make you feel like a diva asshole; that you feel you’re so important that you had to have this major crisis about yourself. Writing this makes me realize how stupid it is to think like this, but that’s the kind of trap you get put into. Anyway, let me emphasize how important it is to see a therapist if you are depressed. Do it. It can change everything. Also talk to a doctor and see if meds are part of your solution. See a doctor. Do not just let it go. This is like if you had cancer and you just wanted to wait it out or hoped it would get better on its own. A lot of people let it go until it’s overwhelming and consumes them completely and just kill themselves to end the pain. Don’t!

I got better. I went on meds and in just a few weeks I made a drastic improvement. Plus the therapy, and plus feeling like I was doing anything with my life again. I hear a lot about hesitation to go on meds because you feel like they may change the foundation of who you ever are. This doesn’t happen. For me, it made me feel more free to be who I felt like I really was. That said, it may numb your emotions if you are a person who typically feels a lot of things. Just talk to a doctor about any concerns you have and don’t let these build up and become reasons you don’t get help for yourself. You are worth it. The doctor isn’t angry to have to deal with you. If it will cost what you can’t afford, don’t let that become an excuse not to do it. Save up or find a way to make it work. Again, it’s like if you couldn’t afford cancer treatments so you just let it kill you instead of finding out how you can make the situation work financially. What you’re dealing with is serious! Do something about it!

I almost forgot to mention that a lot of getting better was having something to look forward to. Knowing I’d see my friends and we’d have a good time was part of it. Another was spending all of my fucking money to go to as many conventions as I could. They were something I enjoyed in the past but didn’t bother with much anymore, so I decided to get back into them. It was the best choice. Thanks for coming to drink a lot of beers and talk shit if I saw you at a PAX or TwitchCon or Magfest! They were sincerely some of the best times of my life. Knowing that it wouldn’t be long until I’d be at another convention helped a lot with otherwise feeling complete dread. The power of giving yourself something great to look forward to is really strong! Do it! Find things you like and make time for them. Reward yourself! At one point, I got into a really unbalanced lifestyle and would spend maybe 60 or 70 hours a week editing videos and I burned myself out to shit. All I would think about was the job and let my health and relationships go to shit. You’re not supposed to do that. Give yourself good things and make it a habit. Anyway, PAX East soon, my man.

When I wrote my last crypost, a lot of people responded it it. I was in a daze for the rest of that day as I heard from a mountain of individuals. A lot of you deal with issues like this and a lot of you feel hopeless about it. It’s fucked up! This is your life! You’re entitled to a good one! Doing something about it will take a lot less than you may think, and will help you in a lot more ways and probably faster than you may think. A lot of you also said since that you’ve decided to finally get help. So yeah motherfucker I had a cool cry about your messages several times. What was also helpful was anonymous tumblr questions saying they got help so others could see your experiences and know I’m not just yelling out my dick about this. Thanks! You helped people!

Ok I think I have to cut this short now, it got late and I try not to stay awake until fucking 7 AM these days. I feel like I missed a few of the main points I wanted to make but by now I think you get the point that you can feel like you are going to face total annihilation within the next few moments and still get back to normal in very little time. I almost just wrote “Hopefully talking about my own cringe-ass experience helped you with…” and so forth to end this on a light-hearted self-shitting, but that again is part of the problem. Feeling as if your issues are embarrassing, not worthy, juvenile, or to be written off as not serious is no good. I know we joke about this kind of thing to help deal with it, but don’t feel that way for real. AGAIN, YOU’RE WORTH IT. YOU’RE GOOD! YOU’RE WORTH DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FEEL NOT FUCKED UP! GO! 


Bruised and Battered Part 13

Dean Winchester x Reader

1150 Words

Story Summary: Being friend with Sam and Dean Winchester had been the best part of your life. But then they were gone, and you had nothing to distract you from the physical and verbal abuse from your parents. Years pass, and your parents suddenly vanish. When Sam and Dean come help to find them, you aren’t sure what they will do when they discover your dark past.

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

It was amazing how quickly time seemed to pass when you had idea what you were doing, or any idea who you actually were. Without your parents harassing and hurting you, you had quickly found out life was a lot different.

As soon as you walked out the hospital, you had nothing planned except traveling as far away as you could, trying to forget the life that had done nothing but kicked you in the butt. With only a little bit of change, it had been tough going at first, and within a week you had found yourself sleeping in a random park, your stomach growling as you counted the last of your pennies. With not even enough money to buy a cup of coffee, you knew you needed to come up with a plan, and fast.

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people always talk about how quickly time passes during happy moments, but no one tells you how robbed of time you feel when you’re shrouded in darkness. how time tricks you into feeling transfixed at a single point while it sneakily keeps moving forward without you. how quickly the seconds turn to hours, hours into years. always moving so quickly that you cannot even fathom catching up.

for those who understand, I pray that you are able to get done the tasks you need to do so that you can sleep peacefully, rather than feeling regretful and promising yourself to do those things first thing the next morning. I pray that it gets easier to do things and that someday you feel like you have something to show for all the time passed.

but most importantly I pray that you remember that your life has worth even if you are unable to do the things you need to do, and if you don’t have anything tangible to show for the lost time, know that you still are growing no matter how stagnant you may feel. and in case you haven’t heard this I need you to know this: you matter

more time

relationship: diana prince x steve trevor
word count: 1.1k
rating: general
warnings: none
summary: More time is all they need, for a life, for a family, for a future together.
tagging: @madelyne-pryor @celestecuckoos @girlygirlbishop @niightwngs

Diana can’t quite comprehend this feeling when Steve kisses her forehead and the cries of her daughter resonate in the bedroom. This was never planned, a child, the two of them weren’t even married yet. They’d been too engulfed in the victory of ending the war and getting Diana acquainted with this world. But the surprise is welcomed with open arms and cries of joys.

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Could Have, Should Have, Did

Soulmate!AU Ushijima x Reader where everything you draw on your skin also appears on your soulmate’s skin.

Your first impression of your soulmate was far from ideal.

At the tender age of fourteen, you watched enviously as your friends gushed about the marks on their skin.

“Look! He drew me a flower!” One of the girls exclaimed as the others gathered around her, chattering excitedly.

“That’s adorable!” Another replied as she rolled up her sleeve. “My soulmate drew me a cat!”

There was a collective set of “aww”s as they jostled each other for a closer look.

“What about you, [name]?” One of your friends asked, having noticed how you hadn’t joined in on the conversation. “Did your soulmate draw you anything?”

Although you were quick to object,the way you had self-consciously tugged at the hem of your sleeve didn’t go unnoticed by your friends. With a conspiratorial glance, they overwhelmed you with sheer numbers and exposed the blemished skin of your arm eagerly before bursting out in peals of laughter.

“W-What is that?” A friend wheezed, succumbing to another fit of giggles when you shot her an angry glare.

“Actually!” Another was quick to chime in. “Man, I feel sorry for you, getting stuck with a  soulmate like that!”

“’I’m an idiot’,” mocked the third, repeating what had been scrawled messily across your arm much to your growing chagrin. “Who would write that on themselves?”

Once again, the three of them returned to their fitful chuckling, leaving you to tug down the sleeve of your sweater as your face blazed like a wildfire.

“S-Stop it!” You made a futile attempt at calming them down. “Why does it matter that much? Just leave it alone!”

When it became apparent that your friends had no interest in respecting your wishes, you huffed and tromped out of the room, more than willing to leave them to their own devices as you barricaded yourself in the bathroom. Without a pen, you made do with grabbing your mother’s eyeliner off the counter and scrawled a fierce reply onto your skin.

You… really… are… aren’t… you? 

Satisfied with your disdainful response, you hid the words under a layer of warm cotton, pushing them out of sight and out of mind.

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Jeff Atkins - Mini One Shot

Jeff: Look out your window.

You: What? Why?

Jeff: Just look!

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and lifted the covers off of you to slowly get off of your bed. Crossing the room to your windows, you slide the curtains aside to see Jeff standing outside, pink roses in one hand, with his arms spread out and his blinding smile spread wide across his face. You face mimicked his with the urge to smile at his cuteness. Nobody got to see this side of him and you knew how lucky to be able to.

“What’re you doing!” You asked as soon as he answered your call.

He chuckled over the phone, waving his arm for me to come out as he leaned against the side of his car. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to swoop you away, lets go for a ride!”

“It’s like 1 in the morning! We have school!” You returned. “No way my parents are going to let me out now!”

“So? It’s the end of the year, you’re awake anyway.” He smirked.

You pursed your lips, thinking the idea over. Taking a look over your shoulder to your bedroom door then looking at the tree conveniently available outside your window.

“Two minutes.” You said, hanging up the phone before you could heard his victorious cheer.

You quickly ran to the mirror, checking to make sure you looked okay. Applying some chapstick and popping a breath mint, your brushed out your hair with your fingers before sliding on a pair of shorts and a hoodie. He waited for your under the tree, helping you down the last few feet to the ground.

His large muscular arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you against his solid form and holding your close. Your senses were coated with the delicious smell of his body wash as your cheek rested against the soft fabric of his t-shirt.

Lifting your head, you stood up on your tiptoes to reach his lips, kissing him softly. His hand ran up your side to feel his way up your body to your cheek, cupping it gently as he deepened the kiss, pressing you against the tree.

“I missed you.’ He whispered, pulling away from the kiss yet keeping you locked against the tree with his body pressed on yours.

You rested your head against his hand, relishing in the feel of his thumb brushing your cheek as his baby-blues took you in, looking at you like you were the greatest thing on this earth.

“I missed you more.” You return, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Let’s get out of here before we wake up the neighbors.”

He smirked, lifting you up in his arms to spin you both around. “Come on.”

You laughed, covering your mouth to keep quiet before he put you down and the two of you jumped into his car. With one hand resting on your thigh, the other held the wheel, driving you off down the street.

Turning your head to face him, you leaned over, kissing the side of his neck. “Mind telling me why you’re up this early?”

“It’s the last game of the season.” He shrugged his shoulders, glancing down at you as he shrugged his shoulders. “Coach said there’ll be scouts there and everything.”

“Already?” You asked, lifting your eyebrows in disbelief. “I thought they weren’t starting to look at you guys until junior year.”

“Well they’re looking at the juniors and seniors but we were told if they liked what they saw they keep you in mind for next year.” He replied.

“Jesus, that would be huge babe.” You said excitedly. “You’re going to do amazing. I know you are.”

A nervous smile crossed his lips and he nodded. “You’re going to be there right? You know you’re my good luck charm.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You replied.

You’d been dating Jeff for a little over two years. You’d met the summer before freshman year and hadn’t looked back since. This man was your past, present, and future. Everyone in the school knew we were a couple. It was rare we were even recognized as individuals, it was always “Y/N and Jeff.” You liked it that way though. It made life easier. He was your partner in crime and You were his.

He smiled, pulling over in front of a 24 hour 7/11 and we got out. While he went straight for the slurpee machine, I went to look for a bag of chips. He paid and we off again. There was a routine to this. Whenever we were anxious, we’d pick each other up, share bag of hot fries and a cherry slurpee on top of the mountain overlooking the city.

So you drove all the way up, the car coming to a stop over by your usual clearing and got out. Jeff took you by the hand, leading you towards the edge and you took your seats, looking at the city below with lights still creating a glow despite the darkness that surrounded it.

You opened the bag of hot fries, popping a few in your mouth while he did the same, then shared a sip of the slurpy to wash down the taste that burned your throats.

“Can you believe we’re almost juniors?” He asked, looking down at you with his pearly whites in full display. “It’s almost like just yesterday we were going into freshman orientation and next year will be the biggest year of our high school careers.”

You leaned into his side, listening to him as you ate another chip. “It’s a little unreal isn’t it? How quickly time passes.”

“Hey Y/N -  have you thought about where you want to go to school yet? I know it’s early but what if we go to different schools? What then?”

You had thought about it. Non-stop as a matter of fact. Jeff was hoping for a baseball scholarship. He would go to whatever school gave him the most money. What would that mean for your relationship? You had no idea what you wanted to do. You only knew you wanted to be with him.

“ If we’re meant to be we will be babe. Whether that means we do long distance or whatever it takes. I just know you’re the one I want by my side at the end of it all.”

“You promise?” He asked looking down you again.

“I promise.”

**Not my gif

Play For Me || Joe Sugg

Originally posted by suggleeimagine

Requests are currently [ OPEN ]

Masterlist can be found [ HERE ]

Word Count: 1k+


You were sat at your desk, your keyboard sat flat in front of you, the letters written on the white keys and your handwritten book of lyrics and notes leaning up against the stand that attached to the back of the instrument. You had your thick framed glasses resting on the bridge of your nose, your hair messily thrown up into two space buns.

You had one of your oversized Sugg Life sweatshirts on over a pair of booty shorts, but other than, nothing. You’d taken your socks off the second you got through the door, seeing as you despised wearing socks,or even slippers, inside.

It was around nine pm, and Joe’s told you that he needed to go make a gaming video, and so you decided that it was a perfect time to get some keyboard practice into your schedule, especially seeing as you were never usually able to find the time to do so.

You were playing a simple song, one that isn’t the most challenging but you enjoyed it nonetheless. The original notes had been drawn from an Ed Sheeran song, but you’d tweaked them so many times over the years that they now sounded nothing like any Ed song you’d ever heard.

You glanced over at your camera, which was sat on your bedside table on the other side of the room and chewed on your bottom lip, deciding whether or not you were in the mood film a cover.

Eventually, you look over at your clock and check the time, making sure it hadn’t gotten too late and you hadn’t realised how quickly time had passed; but only an hour had gone by and you definitely had time to film if you wanted to.

You think about how long ago it had been since you’d posted a video, and chuckle a little when you found yourself unable to remember the last time you filmed anything, which wasn’t exactly your fault, seeing as YouTube wasn’t your job, unlike Joe, and was just a place for you to post your covers and little original songs you wrote every so often.

You stand up, tugging the sweatshirt over your ass, even though there was literally nobody but you in the room, and even if there was, you had shorts on anyways, but you still felt as self-conscious as ever.

Setting up your camera didn’t take long at all, seeing as your DSL was just one of Joe’s older cameras which he didn’t use anymore and insisted you used when you first brought up the idea of making a channel to post covers.

You sit on your legs, not even bothering to fix hot hair or get changed seeing as the camera was panned down just far enough to cut out your neck and instead focused on the keys of the instrument and your fingers as they played.

Your Sugg Life hoodie could be seen just barely, but you really couldn’t be bothered to change into anything else seeing as you’d made yourself comfortable as hell. You adjust the volume of your keyboard, taking a sip of your water and stretching your mouth out, clearing your throat and preparing yourself.

You purse your lips as you begin to play the intro to one of your favourite songs to play, inhaling inaudibly and beginning to softly sing. As the song progressed, you got louder and louder, and a part of you silently hoped you weren’t disturbing Joe downstairs.

You draw out the last word, holding down the last key for a while before letting go and exhaling in relief, grabbing your bottle of water and taking a sip from your water in order to soothe your throat.

As you reach up to turn off the camera, two knocks on the door cause you to turn your head and smile at Joe, who was stood in your doorway with a smirk on his face.

Your cheeks heat up. “You been there a while, creep?”

“Mhm, and I really like that song, by the way. It sounded really good.” He nods, and you can’t help the smile the tugs at the corners of your lips. “Can you play something else for me?”

You squint slightly in confusion, wondering why he was choosing now to ask you to play something for him, but of nonetheless. You leave your camera rolling, jogging over to kiss him quickly on the lips before tugging on his hand and leading him over to your long chair.

He sits down beside you, and you look down over at him curiously, cracking your fingers, which causes him to cringe inwardly, though he didn’t say anything. “What do you want me to play?”

“The one that got away, you know, that one by Katy Perry that you always sing whilst you’re speed cleaning.” He explains, and you nod, thankful that he’d chosen one of the songs in which you’d memorized the notes for and didn’t have to flip through your book for five minutes in a bid to find them.

You seemed to forget that you were even filming, resting your head onto Joe’s shoulder as you played the music and sang a lot less loudly than you had just minutes before.

He wraps an arm around your waist, and joins in during the parts he knows, causing you to grin and look up at him, adoration in your eyes.

The song drew to a close, and by that point, you’d snuggled into Joe’s side, and only left your hand enough leeway to actually work the keys.

You felt warm and fuzzy in that moment, just snuggled up in your dimly lit bedroom, the Zoella candle burning on your desk and the fairy lights being the only providers of light in the room.

You smile, leaning up to switch off the camera, looking up at Joe through your lashes and biting your lip. “Can I put that up on my channel?”

He hesitates for a while, and you reassure him that you don’t have to, but in the end he talks you that he really wants you to post it, and so you spend the rest of the evening curled up on the couch, editing the video together and eating bowls of cereal when you inevitably got hungry.

You posted the video the second it was rendered, chuckling at the sudden rush of comments, everyone screaming about how Joe had finally been in one of your cover videos after so long of them asking.

Who knows, maybe you’d do more videos with Joe in the future, just for the wellbeing of the fans; not because you loved singing with him, not at all

Meeting the Parents

Requested by @carolinenkirk

Request: Could you write one about Grant meeting your family/ family dinner?

Word Count: 727


“(Y/N), what if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m not good enough for you? What if they want us to break up?”


“What if they compare me to your previous boyfriends?”


My boyfriend’s babbling ceased when I shouted his name, his attention focused on me. Leaving my place on the couch, I walked to where he was pacing the living room. I reached up, planted a kiss on his lips and wrapped my arms around him.

“Grant, you have nothing to worry about. I know for a fact that my parents will love you because I love you and you make me happy. Also, don’t worry about them comparing you to my previous boyfriends because they were all terrible people.”

Grant is worrying too much over this. I have been through a couple of the first meetings. Grant just needs to trust me, my parents will love him. Absolutely love him.

“(Y/N), I’m really nervous.”

“I could tell.”


After a long car ride that consisted of trying to calm Grant down, we finally arrive at my parent’s house.

“Grant we’re here.” I say, noticing that he’s not getting out of the car.

He says something inaudibly and nods.

“Ash get out.” I say sternly, thinking that I’ll have to use scare tactics to get him inside.

"O-okay.” Grant reaches over and slowly unbuckles his seatbelt. He sits there for a few minutes staring at the house. I kiss his cheek making him look at me.

“I have said it many times today and I’ll say it again, you have nothing to worry about. They will love you Grant.”

Grant grabs my hand and kisses it. “I know. I’m just so nervous because I really care about you (Y/N). I-I love you.”

“I love you too, Grant.”

Grant opens the car door, getting out. I smile at myself, knowing that he’s one step away from meeting my parents. I walk around the car and grab his hand, walking him to the door. I open it and lead him in. I walk him into the kitchen, where my parents are sitting.

“Hey guys! This is Grant. Grant, these are my parents.“

My mom stands up and hugs Grant, “it’s nice to finally meet you, Grant.” she smiles.
“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. (Y/L/N).” he smiles.

My dad stands up and shakes his hand.

“I’m y/dad’s/n”



The hours fly by and Grant really starts to feel comfortable. We eat dinner and my dad and Grant bond over the Clippers game that was on TV. I stayed in the kitchen to help my mom clean up.

"He’s a very nice man, (Y/N). You did really good,” my mom says while putting dishes into the dishwasher.

I look into the living room and smile at my dad and Grant passionately yelling at the TV for the Clippers to “get their act together”.

“Yeah, I did. Mom, he makes me really happy.”

“That’s good. All your father and I want is for you to be happy, it’s just a bonus that he’s not a hoodlum like your previous boyfriends,” my mom and I laughed when we looked back at the previous home meetings.

I looked at the time on my phone realizing how quickly the time had passed.

“Grant, we should probably leave. It’s 11:30 and we have an early start tomorrow.” I say, standing up and hugging my parents.

“Bye guys it was nice to meet you!” Grant says, hugging my parents before we exit out the front door.

After the door closed, I latched my arms around Grant’s neck, "See, I told you that they would love you.” Grant hugged me back and laughed.

“I don’t know if you know this, but I was really stressed.”

I giggle at his response. “Really, I had no idea!” I sarcastically respond.

“No really! I was! Believe me!”

“Oh trust me, I do!” I laugh and hold him tight, as it’s freezing outside.

"Are you cold?”

I nod and snuggle closer into his side.

“Well let’s go back to the hotel and I can keep you warm all night.” he smiles and winks.

“I don’t know if you were trying to be sexual or cute but I’ll take it.” I smile and he kisses my forehead.


sorry that this took forever


Freddie Andersen- lost connections

Request:  I love your writing! I was wondering if you could write one with Freddie Anderson and like you knew him from when he played for the Ducks cause your one of the players little sister and you always got along and liked each other but lost touch when he went to to Toronto. Then you get into a ma/phd program at Toronto university and contact him so you’ll have a friend and like you end up together. Maybe some of the leafs in it too lol sorry it’s so long! I’ve just had this idea in my head 🙈

Author’s note: I was so excited about this but then my brain refused to let me write! lol. Anyways pretty sure I’ll be adding a part 2 to this…

Warnings: I think a few cuss words? Just assume that’s always a given with my writing. I cuss like a hockey player in real life too.

Up next:  Mikko Rantanen

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Gillovny RPF

Thank you so so much to @sembell for her excellent beta-reading! I love you!

(Slightly NSFW)

How did the time pass so quickly, she wonders. It feels like he crossed the door three seconds ago, but here they are, at four in the morning, in the massive garden of her rental house, surrounded by the noises of the nature, monkeys hiding in the trees, invisible insects singing in their ears and probably one snake or two crawling nearby.

It’s been a few weeks since they’ve seen each other. In other circumstances, they would be in bed already, trying to shush each other not to wake up all the children sleeping everywhere in the house. Maybe they’re getting old, she thinks. He has invited her to have a last drink outside, after dinner, after the boys went to bed, and the older ones went out. He wanted to enjoy the silence, just with her, for a couple of minutes before they “reconnected”. That’s the way they call their endless love making after a long period of separation.

But the couple of minutes became an hour, the hour turned into three, and the last drink turned into the whole bottle of Costa Rica red wine. She doesn’t drink, except when she’s at ease with someone she trusts more than herself, which means no one but him. Two glasses are usually enough to get her tipsy, so he happily drank the rest of the bottle. Finally, after six years of a complicated but beautiful relationship, they’ve found another way to “reconnect”.

She tells him about her difficulties with her boys. They’re getting older, tiny little men, as he likes to call them. They demand more independence but they’re still her babies, and it’s tough for her to find her place in their lives. He tells her about West, his struggles between allowing her to make her own mistakes and preventing her from the dangers all teenagers her age are confronted with. He told her he wished her daughter would have come with him. She reassures him. She knows what it’s like to raise a girl. She knows there’s a complicated phase, but it’s just a phase. It passes.

As the discussion goes, time passes. Piper and her friends come back and go straight to bed, avoiding the judgmental look Gillian would have given them if they stood too close to her, smelling their breath or seeing their eyes.

The moon is bright and high in the sky, and it’s so late that even the animals around them have gone silent.

It’s time to get up and go to bed, she thinks. Time for the old fashion way of reconnecting. But her head spins and his back hurts after sitting for such a long time. They’re indeed getting old.

As soon as she lays down, her eyes close and sleep invades her. She doesn’t need more anyway. She feels warm and safe knowing he’s just here besides her. Smelling his scent and hearing him breathing is enough for tonight. She feels his large arm enveloping her waist, a soft kiss being dropped on her bare shoulder, and a muffled “I love you” is whispered into her ear. She’s falling asleep.

Is someone knocking at the door? Is it for real, or only in her dream? Why is he moving? She felt so good with her body pressed against his and her nose buried into his neck. Who is he talking to? She can’t proceed right now. What time is it anyway? 6? 9? Noon? Whoever you are, go away, close the door behind you and let me lay on top of him for the rest of my life, she thinks. Maybe they hear her. The door closes. “Go back to sleep, bird” she hears him say. That she can do.

He’s moving again. It’s sunny outside, she can feel it through her eyelid. The nature has woken up, and so does he, apparently. His lips trace the soft line of her neck to her collarbone and his large hands roam along the side of her thighs. She keeps her eyes closed, she doesn’t want to wake up yet. She fears if she moves he’ll stop, and she doesn’t want him to stop. He licks her stomach, just under her pierced navel, making her shiver. The kiss he drops on her center, over the lace of her panties, was unexpected and deeply appreciated, making her jump a little and finally, she opens her eyes.

His hair is messy, sticking out in every direction and the soft beard he grew during the night makes him look younger. Sexier. She helps him removing her underwear, lifting her butt from the mattress with a smirk and her eyes lock with his.

“What time is it?” she suddenly worries.

“They’re all gone to the beach, we’re alone.” he doesn’t answer her question and bites the insides of her thighs.

She doesn’t regret they didn’t do that last night. They would have had to be silent and careful when the only thing she wants is to lose herself in his mouth. She hadn’t known her back could contort itself like that before. Only the back of her head and the flat of her feet are in contact with the mattress. Her whole body levitates with pleasure as he devours her, swallowing every drop of her femininity. He raises on his knees between her thighs. He couldn’t be more handsome than this morning, lit by the rays of sunshine piercing through the shutters, naked and hard in every sense. His thick cock stands strong, pulsing and twitching as her eyes rove over it, and she bites her lower lip in anticipation and desire. He slides between her lips, presses against her oversensitive clit, and effortlessly slips inside her. She watches him moving, his muscles are contracted in ridges and his jaw is clenched. He’s already holding back, she can tell. He’s beautiful. She feels him inside her, but she wants to feel him all around her. She wants his heaviness above her, she needs his mouth, his tongue, his neck. She wants her hands on his skin, and his on hers. She pulls on his arms to drag him closer, and he speeds up once his face is buried in the crook between her neck and her shoulder. The friction of his groin on her clit sends her in heaven. No doubt she would have woken up everyone with the loud scream that now escapes her throat as she comes all around him, soon followed by his deep grunt and her “fucking Christ” chuckled against his cheek as he pulls out.

She kisses him just like she breathes. Without thinking about it, but needing it to survive. Her tongue melts with his, and her fingers caress the skin of his ribs.

“You okay?” he asks, probably tasting the tears that are running down her cheeks to die in their kisses.

“Yes,” she lies. “I’m sorry.”

He asks what’s happening without a word, just by raising her chin with his index finger and a piercing gaze.

“I missed you,”, she whispers, and the tears run faster. She hadn’t wanted that to happen. She has promised herself to hold back, at least for a few days before breaking down. But the shock of her strong orgasm has hit a nerve and her brain has shut down to allow her emotions, her hormones and her heart, to take the wheel. It’s never a good thing.

“I’m just tired missing you,” she sobs against his chest.

He tells her he knows, he tells her he misses her too. He holds her tight and reassures her as much as he can, but something breaks inside her when he says “soon”.

“Two more years. We can make it.”

Maybe he can, but she can’t. She doesn’t even want to. Spending two more years missing him, two more years of painful goodbyes and weeks of loneliness. Two more years of long-distance fights and desperate night calls.

She agrees anyway. It’s the beginning of the vacation, she can’t ruin it on the first day. She can’t do that to him. To them. But she knows, deep down, it could be their last one if they don’t come up with a better plan for their future.

She’s lost in her thoughts. She hasn’t noticed that he’s fumbling behind her back,making a racket with the nightstand.

“What are you doing?” she asks, wiping the tears from her eyes and shifts onto her back underneath him.

He doesn’t answer, but has finally found what he was looking for.

“Got it!” he exclaims with a shy smile on his face. Without more words puts a tiny, black velvet box on her naked stomach.

Alexander Nylander - Permission Part Ten

Word Count: 1818

Warnings: Cursing

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten

The following three weeks in Sweden were spent rebuilding your relationship. You didn’t let Alex off the hook completely. Still being upset from what happened. You made him work for your forgiveness, as you should have. He took every second he could to make you feel loved and appreciated. Not disappointing you once. You guys finally had some time to go out on personal dates. Spend time alone together in the house, and sometimes out on their boat. Alex was passionate about his home town. Showing you all his favorite places that you’ve heard in his stories over the phone.

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Ace on Deck


Rating: T

Summary: (Ace Stan) Ford makes an assumption about his brother based on the way he acts around people, and realises belatedly that perhaps they really do still need to communicate more. 

AN: Part one in a possible series of Ace headcanons. (and Aro? I’ll let you decide that for yourselves, Ace Ford too to me, in this one but focuses on Stan). If I do make it a series ‘Ace on Deck’ will be the series name. But I didn’t want to not use it if I didn’t write more. ^^  
Pinging @fexiled cause we rambled a long time ago about this I feel ♥

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Say You Won’t Let Go

It was a warm spring night, the kind that drew everyone outside and created a festival kind of feeling. Marinette and Alya walked merrily down the sidewalk, both of them looking forward to their dates. A new restaurant had just opened along the river, and the place had quickly become a favorite spot because of its beautiful outdoor seating area. Adrien had managed to snag four reservations for an open mic night.

“I’m telling you, your voice is great and you gotta get up there!” Alya said.

“No way, that place is gonna be so crowded,” Marinette shook her head. “I don’t think I could do it with so many eyes on me.”

“You sing for us all the time when we have karaoke night,” Alya pointed out.

“Yeah but that’s just us. I don’t want an audience.”

“Fine,” Alya waved a hand. “But if they have that new zedd song on the roster I’m dragging you up there with me.”

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 Today, I had the misfortune of running into Gregory in the hallway. He said some dumb cryptic stuff about how quickly time passes, faster than we would like, we all die younger than we expect, etc. I think the point he was making is that we’re already in the middle of July, which means the photo contest is just about halfway over! He’s fully expecting you to send him some papercraft photos, for reasons he…wouldn’t disclose to me. 


  …anyways, be sure to send your pictures in to Gregory House before the end of August! If you have any questions, feel free to send an ask. We won’t tell the rat. 


My little pumpkin butt turned 1 today! I can’t believe how quickly the time passed. We had a family party to celebrate, ate some cake, opened Violet’s presents and just had fun! Also, Violet made her first step! Unfortunately, she did it only once and I didn’t catch it on camera. She was so cute and wobbly on her lil feet!

NCT fic: Misinterpretations - Jaehyun Angst

Request from @jaehyunfromamerica : “If you’re still accepting scenario requests, may I request a jaehyun angst? About anything really I just want my heart ripped into pieces and then put back together with a happy ending”

A/N: Sorry this is so late! This is my first time writing an NCT fic, and my first time writing romantic angst. BUt ahhhh~ I absolutely loved it. Please remember to give me feedback and constructive criticism guys ♥

Originally posted by cherryassbomb

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A/N: whelp it’s here thanks for being patient and all hope you like it! i tried to write it in a way so you can see both povs lol. haven’t edited it out yet sorry!!

word count: 1,1k+

previous part & master list


Y/N was beyond surprised when Chris asked her out on a date. It didn’t seem like something he would do from what she’d heard of him. She was actually excited, maybe she could finally see what he really was like.

Y/N hadn’t told anyone she’s going on a date with Chris, in case this was just a sick joke of his or if something incredibly terrible happened. She didn’t want to be that girl, yet at least. Even with all her efforts to keep it secret, Noora had somehow found out and had insisted to help Y/N out when it came to picking up and outfit (which was a thing that Vilde would do).

That’s how she had ended up hours before her date, lying on her bed with a pile of clothes on top of her. Noora wanted Y/N to put on something special, meanwhile she just wanted to go out with her ’normal’ clothes on since she didn’t want to look like she was doing too big of an effort.

”Alright, I’ll tell you something that I haven’t told anyone.” Noora said with a knowing look, she knew exactly what to do or say to get your attention on something. You kinda hated her for it, but nodded along signaling her to go on.

”I went on a date with William so that he’d leave Vilde alone, but I think I like him now. I really think I fucked up big time now.” Noora was biting her lip, avoiding Y/N’s gaze. Y/N couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face, she knew there was something going on with them.

”I’m not really that surprised, you two would look great together anyway so just go for it?” Y/N suggested, giving Noora a sympathetic smile. ”Eskild also told me somethings, so if the other girls know something it’s because he told them not me.”

Noora laughed for a bit before mumbling something along the lines of ”damn you Eskild”. Y/N looked at the clock to check on the time, her eyes widening when she saw how much time had passed by already. She quickly got up and looked inside her closet, picking out a pair of jeans and a nice sweater to wear.

”You’re seriously going out like that even after I told you my secret?” Noora groaned, falling on Y/N’s bed.

”Yeah, it’s Chris after all. I don’t except much from a date with him.” Y/N was feeling slightly nervous, but she didn’t want to show it to Noora.

”Well, I guess I better get going now since he’ll probably be here soon. Good luck.” Noora got up and left before you could even say something to her. Y/N sighed and walked up to her mirror to see herself in it, wondering what could have ever drawn Chris to her out of all the girls. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell, she gave a quick last glance to the mirror before going to open the door.

”Hi princess.” Chris said with a smug smile once you opened the door.

”You seriously didn’t have to come all the way to the door you know, but hi.”

”You’re not supposed to do this on dates?” He asked, his eyes wide.

Y/N let out a chuckle at his reaction and walked outside closing the door behind her. ”You’re nervous and I must admit I like it, if this date is a total flop I can blackmail you with it.”

”Well look who’s feeling confident in themselves?” He was smirking, making Y/N blush. He found it cute how she went from confident to shy. ”Let’s go.”


Chris had cheesily enough chosen to take Y/N out on a gaming arcade, but he seemed super stocked so she didn’t say anything.

”What even made you choose this place?” Y/N curiously asked, looking around the arcade. It was almost empty.

”I don’t know. Taking you out for a movie date would be too cliche, taking you out on a dinner date would just be odd and we’d probably be acting all awkward, a picnic would be lame and it’s way too cold outside and I bet 20 bucks that you’d never come in my home for a date because you still think I’m a dick, so this came in my mind and well here we are?” Chris said breathless and went on after a moment ”Fuck did I already ruin it?”

”You’re so awkward, relax it’s fine I was just asking a question.” She gave him a reassuring smile, making Chris relax a bit. ”Seriously though, you’re always like this on dates?”

”Eh, I thought I said before but I always skip the ’dating’ part. You’re the first one who I’ve actually taken out and chased after if we could say that.”

”Oh.” Y/N mumbled, blushing again because, as a matter of a fact, he had said that before.

”Come.” Chris took her hand and dragged her all the way to a dancing game making her rise her eyebrow at him.

”What? It’s a nice game! You should see William trying to play this when he’s drunk.” Chris said letting go of her hand. They both felt a little sad at the loss of contact, but neither said a thing about it.

”I think I can live without seeing it, nice to know what you guys do when you’re drunk.” Y/N said and rolled her eyes. Chris just chuckled before motioning her to come closer to play.

She ended up having a great time and get to know Chris a lot better. He actually wasn’t a total asshole, he was actually nice and sweet and had a great sense of humor, which is always nice. Y/N looked at the time, realizing that they had spent over two hours on that stupid dancing game where he always won.

Chris’ phone vibrated, signaling he had gotten a text message. He sighed and pulled out his phone, his eyebrows furrowing together.

”Fuck, I need to go and pick William up from a party…” He said and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, giving Y/N an apologetic look.

”It’s okay, surprised you skipped a party for this though.” It made her feel quite special actually.

”Well I told you I can be something else than a dick? I’ve got to go though, so bye?” He didn’t know what to say to end it, Y/N quickly picking up on it.

”Goodnight, Christoffer.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek before sprinting off. She felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside and she couldn’t believe what she had just done, but she hoped it was worth it.

Chris on the other hand was left standing there as red as a tomato, his hand on his cheek. He felt genuinely happy for the first time in a while.

Chocolates, tea and morning kisses.

Pairing: Philip Hamilton x Reader

Summary: The title says it all, this is just a silly and fluffy morning with chocolates and tea. 

Word count: 1.466

Time period: Modern

Note: I couldn’t sleep last night so I started imagining cute scenarios with Philip (like any normal person does on daily basis) and this was one of them. Also, is my first fic ever please be kind to me, guys! I would love to read your feedback! 


When you open this box, you will see that it is empty, and for a moment you will wonder if it was this way when you gave it to me — I can see it, another of your cute gestures slipping in my hand like a bribe—but the truth, and I am telling you the truth, is that it was full; there were sixteen black chocolates carefully placed inside. Now it’s empty because I ate all of them. The taste was really exquisite, but I must confess it was the guilt what managed to stay impregnated on my tongue. It’s the first time I’ve eaten something without you in a very long time, (Y/N)… and I’m sorry.

Right now I’m on my way to Lindt & Sprüngli to buy the chocolate bars with raspberries that you like. I’ll be back soon. I love you so much xx.

A loving smile formed on your face as you carefully folded the note in half.

Honestly, you still couldn’t believe how lucky you were for having Philip in your life. You had found love; true, pure, gentle and untouched, the kind of love that wasn’t ruined by the chaos of the world. And you couldn’t wish for anything else.

You made your way to your small kitchen, still wearing your sweatpants and one of your boyfriend’s white t-shirts. The apartment was in complete silence and the cold morning air made you shiver more than once, you really hoped that spring could arrive sooner.

You opened the cupboard to take the tea and two cups —because of course you will make one for Philip too— and then placed them on the table. Just when you turned on the stove to warm the water in the kettle, you heard the principal door opening and the sound of a plastic bag. With a smile, you peeped out from behind the kitchen door frame to let him know you were there.

“Good morning, early riser” you greeted him with a soft and sleepy voice.

He had taken off his scarf and was in the middle of doing the same with his jacket when his eyes found yours.  He looked utterly charming in the mornings; with his wild curls disheveled and his sleepy eyes. But then he noticed you were staring and his lips formed a half smile with a satisfied expression.

“Good morning to you, gorgeous”

A carmine shade impregnated your cheeks and you tried to hide it rolling your eyes. It was incredible that you still reacted like a schoolgirl to all his flirty comments after being together for more than two years now but you just couldn’t help it.

He let out a snicker and approached you, placing his right hand on your back, pressing you further into him as he leaned his head lightly to kiss you. His nose was cold and you giggled soundlessly when it bumped into yours, but you kissed him nevertheless, taking his face in your hands to warm him up. Your lips met tenderly, slowly, sweetly. It was a delight that seemed to last an eternity and not enough at the same time.

“Lindt & Sprüngli was still closed” 

Philip mumbled against your lips, giving you one last peck and attaching his forehead to yours.

“Of course it was. You’re the only person who thinks it’s normal to go buy chocolate bars at 7 am”

A sweet smile was present in your face while you talked, still with your hands on his face fondly caressing him.

“I had to buy them at the service station” he admitted shyly showing you the plastic bag you had forgotten he was holding in his left hand.

“I like those too. Thank you, sweetheart”

And just with that, his face lighted up again. He gave you another kiss, a deeper one this time. You couldn’t get enough of him and so it seemed neither could he get enough of you.

When your lips parted for the second time you buried your face in his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. He rested his head softly on yours and hugged you tighter. The two of you stayed like that, enjoying the intimacy of the moment.

There was magic in the lack of noise. There was magic in the dawn, the snow, the chocolate bars, the blanket forts… in a lot of little things, but right now there wasn’t anything as magical as Philip. It had taken you some time to realize it, but there definitely was magic in him too and you wondered if he knew it.

It was weird how quickly the time passed while you were hugging there, in the entry of the kitchen. In what seemed like seconds the kettle was already whistling and you could see steam getting out of it by the corner of your eye. You gave Philip a sweet peck on the chin and pulled away from him.

“I was making tea,” you said making your way to the stove to turn it off.

You took the kettle and filled up the cups with the boiling water. The only noise being now the bubbling sound it falling inside the cups.

Your boyfriend placed himself behind you, sliding his hands on your hips, giving you a kiss on a spot between your shoulder and your neck. “I love you” he breathed out against your skin.

“I love you more” you answered in a whisper, leaning your head backward to rest it against his shoulder while placing the tea bags in the water.

His hands made its way beneath your —his— t-shirt, softly drawing invisible circles on your skin. The warmth of his touch made a nice contrast with the cold of the floor in your feet. And you thought that if you could save moments in a flask, you would save this one for sure and keep it in an especial place.

“I think is ready” he announced, referring to the tea.

You nodded and took the bags off of the cups to then throw them in the trash can. He stepped away from you and went for the milk, pouring the exact amount in your cup and handing it to you, to then do the same with his.

“I like to spend my mornings with you,” he said with a smooth voice taking his cup, and giving some steps till he could lean against the wall.

“Me too” you agreed smiling against your cup, taking a sip of your tea.

Facing each other, being separated just by a few tiles in the floor you shared playful glances that meant everything.

“I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life, make you tea, buy you chocolates and kiss you a lot” he continued after a moment of silence.

“Is not that what you already do now?”

The teasing smirk that appeared on your face made him smile and filled his chest with joy.

“I want to marry you”

You took a deep and slow breath, your eyes widened slightly. It was so sudden, so out of the blue. It wasn’t an elegant proposal, not a cheesy one; there was no ring, no champagne, no roses, he was not on his knee…   and even so it felt right, this was the appropriate time to ask it; here, in your small kitchen, wearing pajamas and drinking tea. It was perfect.

“Please marry me, (Y/N)” Philip murmured softly, giving you a look that glowed with adoration.


You didn’t have to think it, the answer slipped easily from your lips as sweet as honey. You wanted it too; you wanted this and you wanted him for the rest of your life.

The grasp on his cup loosened up a little and he let out a sigh of relief, taking a moment to sink in the information. And then he smiled the brightest and happiest smile you had ever seen, his freckles seemed to dance gracefully on his face like stars on the night sky.

You laughed.

“I love you” this time you didn’t know if you had told it for him to listen or in an out loud reminder for yourself, but it was true, now more than ever you were sure that you loved him.

“I love you more” he assured you, leaving the totally full cup on the table.

He approached you and hugged you tightly, placing little kisses all over your face until he finally reached your lips and melted your mouth in a euphoric kiss. You almost dropped the tea you were still holding, but somehow you got to put it safely somewhere before wrapping your arms around his neck and let yourself be lost in the sweet taste of his love once again.

Yoosung x MC - Rika’s Exposure (Pt. 3)

y’all are too cute!! I’m so happy that you guys like my writing oml thank you guys so much :) I’ve put my other requests on hold to work on this continuation so i hope you guys like this haha  (⌒▽⌒)☆

You couldn’t believe your eyes… was that really Yoosung? That disfigured and broken boy lying on the hospital bed, it just couldn’t possibly be him. Your vision blurred as your eyes started to fill up with tears. How could this have happened to him? Biting your trembling lip, you reached out for his hand, wary of his bandaged wrists. 

“MC, I’m sure he’ll be okay, he’s a strong boy.” V patted your shoulder reassuringly, but it didn’t stop the tears from streaming down your face. 

“H- how did this happen?" 

"I… don’t know. After I got your message, I went his apartment, and the door was unlocked. Then I went in and I saw Yoosung lying on the floor with-" 

"Stop. Please, no more. I don’t want to hear anymore." 

You were too afraid of V’s description of Yoosung’s broken body lying in a pool of blood to allow him to go on. But more than anything, you were afraid of the truth. The truth that this was all because of you. You didn’t want to hear it - not from V, not from anyone, because you already knew the answer. It was you who broke him; you who cut him, hurt him.

Though the rest of the RFA had visited, you greeted them with complete silence. You stayed by his side and watched the monitor tirelessly, making sure his heart wouldn’t stop beating until night fell, and you finally opened your mouth to speak.

“This- this was all my fault. Please just wake up. I won’t ever bother you again… I just need you to live. I know you can’t hear me right now, but I wanted to let you know that… that I love you, and I’m really, really sorry. I was a selfish, inconsiderate ass and I know I can’t take back what I said. I don’t deserve you, but if you could listen to me just once more - please don’t give up. You have to fight through this, I know you can. The RFA will be here to support you. As for me… I don’t think I have the right to stay with all of you anymore.”

With a deep breath and whatever will you had left in you, you got up from the visiting chair and left the room. Fighting the urge to turn back, you limped your way back to your room, got dressed and disappeared into the night.

A year had passed. Funny how time passes so quickly even when your days are full of guilt and fear. Everyday you wondered how he was doing. Like whether or not he was eating healthily, or if he found someone new, someone better to lean on. There wasn’t a hint of jealousy, only pain and heartaches. The RFA tried to contact you the first few months after you left, but they stopped after that. Maybe they gave up, maybe they realized that they didn’t need you, or maybe they found out the hideous nature of your actions.

But it didn’t matter, right? The RFA had nothing to do with you anymore, and you had nothing to do with them. Then why did it hurt you so much whenever you saw Jumin on the TV? Why did you get an empty pang of guilt in your gut seeing Zen on social media? Why did it break your heart every time you saw the game shop on the corner of the street?

It was because you owed them. You owed them an apology, owed Yoosung an apology. But there was no way you were going to see them again. You couldn’t face them - you didn’t have the right to see them or talk to them. And you certainly did not have the right to see Yoosung. 

On a particularly early morning, you walked groggily into a Starbucks and mumbled your regular order. After what felt like forever, the barista handed you your drink, and you turned around carelessly, conveniently bumping into the person behind you.

“Sorry about that… thank God this had a cap on it.” you said, more to yourself than the other person. You remained staring at your cup of coffee with your mind half awake.

“Yea, it’s no problem.”

There was something familiar about his voice. Something nostalgic. Something sweet. You sighed and finally raised your eyes to meet his. 

Your breath hitched in shock at the sight of his eyes. Purple. 

His eyes were purple. Could that be Yoosung? 

No, his hair was brown. Yoosung had blond-

“Yoosung-oppa! What’s taking you so long? Who are you talking to?” a girl with an annoying tone disrupted your thoughts as you watched her approach him from behind.

“Sorry, I just accidentally bumped into her. I’ll get your coffee now.” He flashed you a kind smile and turned to leave.

And then it hit you. She called him… Yoosung. So it really was him. It was him but he… it was like he didn’t recognize you. 

It was almost as if he had forgotten you completely.

I hope this is okay haha (´•ω•`๑) thanks for reading~ 

P.S. not sure if this can go for part 4 but if anyone’s interested I could churn something up LOL

also regarding the Rika thing uhh i can’t really explain it?? It was just what the original anon requested so xD sorry about that.  And if you’re wondering how V can see let’s just say he got an operation after what Rika did lol.

~Cherry L.

Part 1: click here

Part 2: click here

Part 4: click here

Masterpost: click here

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