how people have more than one soulmate

So guys, today I have seen so many self-destructing messages on my feed, so many suicidal images, self worth left behind. I want to tell you that I know how you feel, I know that situations in life sometimes are more complicated than what others could understand, but killing yourself is not the solution. Each one of you is so valuable, you are unique, in 7.2 billion people existing in this world you are the only you. I know it is hard, but you have to try a little bit harder, we are all here for you, we know the struggles, we know the difficulties, we know how you feel, I know how you feel. Hang on a little bit longer. You are someone’s soulmate, you are someone’s best friend, you are someone’s future. Trust me, life is amazing once you live it to the fullest.
We love you, I love you
Take care

anonymous asked:

Are you a mom? If you are, can you tell me your thoughts on regal believer? Do you like it? How do you see their evolution from almost broken for good to bonded for life?

*glances at the six children I have spawned with my soulmate, one of which is now a legal adult* Mmm. Yeah. I guess you could say that I’m a mom. ;P

Seriously, though. I am a fan of Regal Believer. And here’s why: because all relationships evolve over time–for good or bad–even the parent/child dynamic. Also, people are so much more complex than we allow them to be, even fictional characters. (Quick disclaimer: I am not one of the major OUAT meta folks, so you’re just getting what I remember from watching the series as it aired.) And from my personal experience, the parent/child dynamic is one of the most complex there is. Especially when there is a history of dysfunction in more than one generation of the family.

Regina comes from that kind of dysfunction. Cora was abusive and controlling. The woman killed Regina’s True Love right in front of her in order to get Regina to comply with her wishes–which was being sold into marriage at a tender age. Regina’s father was a coward, pure and simple. I think he was, at his core, a decent guy, but he had no backbone. He couldn’t stand up to Cora. He couldn’t stand up to Regina during her heyday as the Evil Queen. And the only other parental figure in Regina’s life? Rumplestiltskin. The Dark One who, like Cora, manipulated Regina to his own ends.

These are the examples of parenting that Regina has had. She adopted Henry, what?, 18 years into the Curse. She’d already mellowed a bit (because the Curse did exactly what she wanted it to do–steal everyone’s happy endings). We don’t have a lot of data as to what was going on in the Mills home before Henry ran off to find his bio-mom, but I’m guessing that Regina was probably not Cora-level abusive. She was probably controlling and a bit cold. Enough to make Henry believe she was actually the Evil Queen. I’m guessing that Regina probably thought she was doing much better than her mom did. Which is literally what every half-way okay parent who had dysfunctional parents goes through. (Myself included.) Things were probably not great. But they probably weren’t bad. There was probably some pre-adolescent angst on Henry’s part, too. (Because all children think that their parents are the worst at some point, no matter how good those parents are. No lie.)

Things went from maybe-not-great to very-bad after Emma’s arrival. That’s when Regina’s authority was threatened, and ultimately her Curse was threatened. Regina resorted to what she had learned best from the two strong role-models in her life: Cora and Rumple. And also years of darkness as the EQ. Regina does Very Bad Things. And that’s when her relationship with Henry is shattered. She begins to realize what she is becoming during the second season. That scene when David comes to pick up Henry from her place? That’s huge. Because she realizes that she has, in effect, become her mother. And she remembers what it was like to be parented that way. She doesn’t want that for Henry because she does love him. That’s when the healing begins in her relationship with her son.

Season three, we get the Neverland Arc where Henry’s two mommies finally and truly come together for his good. Then Regina’s great sacrifice at the town line in letting him go–and not only that, but giving Emma and Henry the memories of Emma raising him from birth. That’s such an underrated moment for Regina’s character development. That she loves her son more than her own happiness. Something that NO ADULT IN HER CHILDHOOD EVER DID FOR HER. This is a Very Big Deal.

And Henry’s faith in her is completely restored. (I say “restored,” because when he was a young boy, he probably thought she hung the moon simply because she was his mommy.) He believes that she is no longer the villain in a fairy-tale-turned-reality. He believes in her as a hero. My memory is a tad fuzzy on the finer points, but I feel that the fourth and fifth and thus-far sixth seasons (barring stupid plot devices conjured up by the writers of this show for the sake of “shock and awe”), Regina and Henry have a very, very solid relationship.

She will do anything for him. ANYTHING. She changed for him–started changing faster when he believed in her. She became a better person–the person that she was before Daniel died. Young Regina was full of hope and love and faith and light. Had she been able to run away, I think she would have been one of those incredible stories of overcoming an abusive childhood to lead a good, happy life (even though the baggage would always be there). Heck, I’d say that if Regina never, ever found out that Snow spilled the beans to Cora about Daniel, she might not have become the Evil Queen. Unhappily married, yes. But she would have embraced being Snow’s stepmom. She clearly had an affection for kid-Snow–despite losing Daniel. Right up until the moment that Snow mentioned her little chat with Cora. That was the moment, in my mind, that Regina snapped.

But I’m getting off topic. Henry, these past few seasons, has continued to have faith in Regina. (Again, I’m fuzzy on the finer points, so I’m sure that someone more knowledgeable can direct me to any moments during season 4, 5 & 6 where he didn’t have faith in Regina.) This is very normal for children, too–this loving a parent despite said parent’s mistakes, even ones that are doozies, especially when that parent is doing his or her level best to change for the better. Henry is young enough that while things were very broken between him and Regina for a while, it wasn’t too late for it to be repaired. Henry clearly loves Regina.

I’m not woobifying Regina’s behavior from her dark days. She was truly the Evil Queen. She has to keep that old darkness at bay (now literally thanks to splitting herself in two). She did Terrible Awful Things. Unforgivable things. Things she will never be able to take back. Henry loving and forgiving her doesn’t suddenly erase the past. Her loving Henry doesn’t, either. But it changes the future. And that’s everything.

This was just a bunch of disjointed thoughts. But I believe that the evolution of Regina’s relationship with Henry has been authentic. As a person who comes from a less-than-stellar childhood, who has parents who had even worse childhoods, I understand what it is to love and forgive someone who is very flawed. I understand that the parent/child bond is far more complicated than we recognize. And I think some of those themes have played out beautifully with Henry and Regina.

Can we talk about how ‘soulmates’ are damaging?

The concept that everyone has One True Love somewhere out there, waiting, erases aromantic and polyamorous experiences.

And you can say that polyamorous people have more than one, and aromantic soulmates are platonic in nature–erasing aplatonic aros in the process–but that’s just a Band-Aid on the issue.

The Soulmate Postulate is more insidious. It’s a mask for aphobia (you just haven’t met The One). And I don’t want to assume experiences of gay people, but I’ve heard of it being used for homophobia as well. Especially lesbophobia (because they just haven’t met the Right Man).

“But surely that’s not the fault of the Soulmate Postulate, and everything will be fine once homophobia is eradicated.”

Okay, but no. Because the Soulmate Postulate still creates damaging mindsets when going into relationships. Because you’re out there looking for the one (or, I guess, three or so if you’re polyamorous) person who can make you *really* happy. The person who *completes* you.

You’re putting potential partners on a pedestal, and if they don’t meet these unrealistic expectations then it obviously wasn’t meant to be. I never even considered I was aro in high school because I thought I was just being logical; if the purpose of dating was to find The One with whom you would spend your entire life… what was the purpose of investing emotionally in finding something that I would be highly unlikely to find in my small high school.

It’s all fine and well if you want to go looking for the one person in the world who can *really* complete your life or whatever, but these messages are being broadcast to kids at very young ages.

High schoolers get together in movies, the credits roll, and we’re led to believe that all of the fourteen-year-olds that started dating will be together forever. Cinderella’s only known her prince for, like, three nights at most, but it’s okay because they’re destined for each other. Soulmate AUs are bandied about on this blue hellhole as though soulmates were just A Thing, and the AU bit is that you only see in color when you meet them or something. And this is presented as positive or something.

Like… I don’t really expect to accomplish much with this. But can we at least start with not portraying the Soulmate Postulate as some universal constant that is the Height of Romance? ‘Cause I’d really appreciate it and I’m sure there are other people who would, too.

Okay, but what about awkward and cute soulmate AU, like;

  • Two people that have been raised so close that they are like siblings. They families were always friends, it wasn’t a surprise when the two of them became inseparable. They care deeply about each other, and love each other so much they could die. But, they never thought about each other as more than friends. No. That’s not how they feel. They are siblings from another mother, they are Batman and Robin, they are each other anchor. Until one day they find out that they are each other soulmates. And now two friends who never thought about loving each other in that way have to do so. It’s not best friends to lovers thing. It’s best-friends forced to become lovers by nature. They carnal desires are stronger than their hearts, they can’t deny each other, even knowing that if they become what is expected of them, it will ruin their whole friendship.
  • The kid, that refuses to be called a kid because they are no kid anymore, ‘I’m almost 18, my soul mark will appear!’ finds out that their soul-mate is their teacher/parents close friend/older siblings best friend, and they shocked to say at least because they barely know each other. And there is this almost parental instinct going on, and now they have to ignore the age gap, the weird looks they get from fellow students, or the weird look the sibling/parents give the younger one, and be something much more than acquaintances because that’s what they need, that’s what they want even if they don’t. Because they are soulmates, and they are suppose to love each other, doesn’t matter how weird it feels.
  • A new employee excited with their new job, excited to explore everything this new life can bring to them. But they were never expecting that this new life would bring them face to face with their soulmate. And to make it even worse, it is their boss. And they have heard so many bad things about the boss, and now here they are, having to love them, care for them, being cared for, loved. And the boss don’t quite get it. Because no one would dare to look at them weird, to say anything, but for the employee? People don’t care. Yes, they are the boss soulmate, but that’s extremely weird and rare, and they have to go through the weird looks and gossip every single day. Because destiny is a bitch, and so is their soulmate.
  • The cliché enemies that can’t stand the sight of each other. If they are in the same room, they will fight and yell and make a mess. They spread rumors about each other, ruin each other’s lives, and they don’t really care. Until, one day, they do. They have to. Because that’s what soulmates do, and they are fucking soulmates, and it kills them because they hate each other with a burning passion and now they have to love each other. It’s rough and shallow and it doesn’t even feel like love, but they need it, they love it, despite what their heads tell them.
  • This sex beast who never really cared about the soulmate bullshit. They would sleep with anyone and everyone, party for hours and hours straight, and drink more than their bodies could take. And then there is this really cute asexual who never understood what all of this is about. What the sexual need for your soulmate feels like. They never understood the mating ritual. And yet, those two different people are soulmates. They have different needs, different dreams, and everything is just wrong for them. Because how can one not feel the sexual need for the other? All the weird looks they get, and all the nights spent in the couch is enough for them. Because they are soulmates, they love each other in the most pure innocent way. But their desires are crawling inside, like a beast who needs to come to light. It’s hard, but it’s love, and that’s all they need.

I’m all here for the soulmates full of jealousy, violence, throwing things at each other, arguments, yelling at 3AM, angry rough sex, but also, sweet love making in the morning that ends up with both tangled up together, love promises and sweet words, cuddles in the middle of the night when the world gets too hard, sweet kisses and small touches that means everything. Because despite everything, despite all the weird, all the awkwardness, all the troubles and all the pain, they might just be starting to love each other. 

Soulmate AU / Michael

Warning: Contains swearing.

Right when someone is born, magical words appear on their arms, indicating the first ever words that their soulmate will say to them. If you had none, you didn’t have a soulmate. The lucky handful with multiple phrases on their arms meant that they had more than one person to love.

As I flew by high school, I have seen many of my friends find their soulmates and live a happy life knowing that they’ve found theirs already. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t slightly jealous or that I wasn’t the teeniest bit of sad. However, what I was more jealous of were the cute messages some people had on their arms. I’ve seen “wow you’re beautiful” and “can I just say how cute you look?”, and other sweet first sentences. But what does mine say?

“Eat a dick, that’s mine.” How charming.

What kind of situation would that stem from? Is my soulmate going to be extremely rude? Do they know exactly how embarrassing it is to have this written on me?

I shake these questions I’ve had for years out of my head as I tap my foot on the gray concrete outside of the video game store, along with the rest of the crowd. A new installation of my favorite game ever had just come out and I’ve been marking down this date since this store announced its special midnight release deal. I shiver and wrap my coat around me tighter as another cold gust of wind blew. These midnight releases can be harsh on the body, but I’ve been waiting in line for nearly 3 hours and it’s too late to go back now.

As soon as the clock hit midnight, the doors swung open and everyone pushed through me. This disadvantage caused me to be one of the last people to come in. Shit, hopefully there’s still one left…

That’s when my eyes flickered to it: the last, premium edition box that was sitting on the shelf, almost having a heavenly glow to it. I was so in trance by this beautiful bundle, I almost forgot to walk over and grab it.My hand reached forward and took hold of the box at the same exact moment as someone else had a grip on it.

“Hey fuck face, I was here first!” I protested, giving a little yank. “Eat a dick, that’s mine!” an accented voice yelled, tugging back. Right when I was about to argue some more, I froze and looked up to see who exactly I was speaking to. 

Wide green eyes, with as much surprise as I had, peered down upon me. We both chuckled lightly at first, which then turn into a full on meltdown and aching bellies. “Oh man, I was always so confused,” the man spoke as he came down from his laughter, holding up his wrist, “I can’t believe I just met you, Mrs ‘Hey Fuck Face’! I’m Michael.”

I wiped away the tears that had formed from laughing so hard. “And it’s so precious to finally meet you, Mr ‘Eat a Dick’, I’m Y/N” I said back to him, giving him a bone crushing hug. His eyes seemed to glow, accentuating the dark and mysterious tone his raven hair had sent.

“So Y/N, how about I buy this for us, and we can go back to my place and I’ll see if my soulmate is actually any good at anything besides eating dick?” Michael joked with a slight chuckle, slightly shaking the colored container. I laughed and snatched the box out of his hand. “Oh it’s on, fuck face.”

A/N: Sorry if this is boring/bad, but I thought it would’ve been a little interesting if it wasn’t in the fluffy usual way couples tend to meet in fanfic. Plus I thought this was perfect for a Michael one. If you have any other suggestions or want another soulmate AU with a different boy, feel free to message me! Thanks for reading!

i just think that everyone has a bunch of different soulmates like a soulmate that’s the love of your life sure but then you also have soulmate best friends and soulmate enemies and soulmate teachers bc like your soul needs people all kinds of people to come in and out of your life at different times and teach you things about the world and about yourself

so a girl can make a song about loving other girls, featuring the lyrics “girls like girls like boys do.” and this sets off endless navel-gazing and text posting about how “girls don’t like girls like boys do, the love between girls is so much more pure/good/blblbgkb than hetero-” etc etc.
meanwhile, other people are complaining about the phrase “more than friends” because they personally value platonic relationships as much as, or more than, romantic ones and they can’t abide anyone else feeling differently.
and then there are the ppl who seem really bizarrely devoted to tearing down tropes like “soulmates” and “love at first sight,” despite how many people find comfort and strength in them when their relationships are marginalized. but cultural context be damned! clearly the abstract idea itself is the problem.
these discourses and more i have seen.
for every artistic statement or cultural idiom about love, there are people frantically pulling up roots trying to discredit it and cement their own version of love as the One True Version. you don’t have to tear shit down every time you don’t find something personally relatable. your own experiences are unique and you should embrace it.