how not to do yoga

Namaste

So this is a silly little thing I wrote for my lovely friend @anuecc. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 💙 I am still intent on dragging your cute, yoga toned ass down to drarry hell ;)


Harry should have known this was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. But to be fair, who in Merlin’s name would have expected Draco Malfoy showing up here, looking… like this?

“Malfoy,” Harry spluttered, his voice sounding embarrassingly raspy. “Are you… Is that a crop top?”

Malfoy raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest, seeming unconcerned.

“Is that what this is called?”

Harry swallowed around the lump that was building in his throat. Dear Merlin! Malfoy’s stomach looked simply delicious! And the way his trousers hugged his hips!

“Um… aren’t those trousers little tight?”

Malfoy narrowed his eyes.

“I was told this is what Muggles wear when they do…” He waved a hand around in the air, clearly searching for the right word. “Whatever this is called.”

“It’s called Yoga,” Harry sighed, “and we’re going to be late. Come on.”

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WHY YOU SHOULD MEDITATE (MEDITATE LIKE THE TOONZ)

We’ve seen meditation used many times before. From our favorites who need to regain clarity after losing a battle. 

Prepping themselves for an amazing confrontation or just using to control their emotions in a way that will make them better at anything they want to attain 

but is it accurate. 

Does meditation actually work like it did for Samurai Jack, Piccolo, Aang and Goku or is all Hippie nonsense. 

Today we Talk about Meditating like the Toonz AND HOW YOU CAN START DOING IT EASILY

REBLOGS GREATLY APPRECIATED

Whoops. How do I fix it?

When we do something wrong, which means to say something out of step with what we know to be kind, thoughtful, and true, our body can have a visceral reaction to it. 

That visceral reaction can take the form of an unpleasant emotion lodged in our body somewhere. This makes us feel uncomfortable and we do not like feeling uncomfortable. So we try to do different things to make it feel better. 

Here are some of the useless ways in which we do that:

  • Denial. Sometimes we’d just rather overlook our missteps rather than take responsibility for them. The truth is that unless we take responsibility for something, we cannot take control of it. The ego, on the other hand, prefers to deny because it cannot handle the way taking responsibility may damage its self-image. 
  • Blame. Instead of taking responsibility, we may try to fool ourselves into thinking someone else is at fault or more at fault than us. Again, this may make us feel better temporarily but facilitates no real healing. 
  • Rationalization. Using our intellect to try to control the narrative around our misstep might be tempting because again it casts our egos in a better light. However, the result of this can be that we create a divide between our mind and our emotionality. 

None of this will help in the long run. In fact, if the emotion stays lodged in you, you will be more likely to repeat this kind of behavior.

Here is a better approach that will leave you stronger, happier, and more whole:

  • Take responsibility immediately. If not immediately then as soon as you decide to stop kidding yourself. Admit to yourself and to whomever is involved that this was a misstep and a lapse in judgement on your part. If necessary, apologize. You will already feel a decompression within you. 
  • Inhabit your body totally. Feel your body from within. Feel the lodged emotion in your body. Forget why it is there. Just feel the emotion. Realize that it is not a part of you and not who you are. Let it be there if it stays but breathe through it and eventually it will dissolve. 
  • Forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness means you are not judging yourself. You are not making your misstep a label or indictment on who you are as a finite being. It is not labeled as your nature. Sometimes we do genius things, sometimes we do foolish things. Recognizing and healing the foolish things is how you grow. 

Going through all of this firsthand is an important experience. Learning how to forgive yourself means that when someone else missteps, you also know how to forgive them. This is a movement towards peace between people. Not holding grudges, not judging, giving people room to outgrow their limits, and allowing a space for interconnectedness. 

May all beings and all worlds benefit from such wisdom. 

Namaste

anonymous asked:

Yuri has to start doing yoga to deal with his unhealthy bursts of anger. Yakov is literally forcing him to or he won't coach him in the upcoming season, and well, you can't do yoga without yoga pants and Yuri hates yoga but he loves shoving his ass in the air right as Otabek's walking into the living room.

can somebody write a full length fic of this because it has both the ideal levels of humour and sexiness

Fitblr ask game

Put a number in my ask! 

  1. Favourite healthy meal?
  2. Are you a runner?
  3. Short term fitness goal/s?
  4. Long term fitness goal/s?
  5. Do you use a gym?
  6. Does your family eat healthily?
  7. Do your family/friends/partner support you trying to be healthy?
  8. Favourite fruit?
  9. Favourite vegetable?
  10. Why did you start a fitblr?
  11. What running or gym shoes do you wear?
  12. Favourite pizza?
  13. Favourite workout song?
  14. Do you workout alone or with a friend?
  15. Do you drink enough water?
  16. Do you like making smoothies?
  17. Favourite work out top?
  18. Favourite form of cardio?
  19. What time of day do you workout?
  20. How do you pass the time during cardio?
  21. How do you measure your progress?
  22. Do you do yoga?
  23. What is your favourite protein or energy bar?
  24. Breakfast or dinner?
  25. Favourite stretch?
  26. Would you drink a green smoothie?
  27. Which fitblrs inspire you?
  28. Do any ‘real life’ people know about your fitblr?
  29. Do you like team sports?
  30. What motivates you?
  31. Do you use protein powder?
  32. Do you do meal prep?
  33. Would you ever like to run a marathon?
  34. What do you eat for breakfast?
  35. What is your favourite nut butter?
  36. How long do you normally workout for?
  37. Favourite dessert?
  38. How much sleep do you get?
  39. What bad habit are you most glad you broke?
  40. What’s in your gym bag?
  41. What fitness related achievement are you most proud of?
  42. Have you tried HIIT cardio?
  43. Do you track macros?
  44. Do you track calories?
  45. Favourite fitness/health apps?
  46. Do you have a fitbit?
  47. Do you ever drink?
  48. Favourite snack?
  49. Do you like bananas?
  50. Favourite place to eat?
7

Sunny Yogi’s Guide to Crow Pose ♥ 

Arm balances are a great way to find balance and build arm muscles. They are also great for practicing for inversions :) Here is my how to guide on how to do crow pose.  

I would like to mention, that I’m not a yoga teacher and these steps are based off of my experience. 

Step One: Start off Standing 

Root your feet to the ground.  It’s always good to start off with a strong foundation.  

Step Two: Buddha Squat 

From standing, drop down into a buddha squat.  Root your feet down, make sure your back is straight and your chest is lifted.  In this pose you can also use your elbows to push against your thighs to create a hip opener stretch. 

Step Three: Place hands on the ground, and lean forward. 

While in buddha squat set your hands on the floor and then lean forward pressing your knees gently on your upper arm. Make sure your eyes are looking forward- do not collapse your head. 

Step Four: Bend arms slightly. Lean forward a little and press your knees into your arms.  

Bend your arms slightly and lean forward, pressing your knees into your arms.  For beginners maybe try to stay in this pose for awhile, engaging your core and finding your balance.  

I should probably mention that for some people, your arms might hurt if your knees are pressing into your skin.  Wear longer pants! 

Step Five: Raise one leg up. Look forward, keeps eyes looking ahead, and bend your arms some more. 

This step is a good step to practice before you get into the full arm balance.  Raise one leg up and engage your core.  Alternate your legs back and forth. Make sure you can do this step before continuing on :) 

Make sure your head is not collapsed; head up and eyes looking ahead.

Step Six: Raise both legs up. Engage that core! 

Taking a deep breath, raise your other leg up! Make sure your core is engaged.  KEEP YOUR HEAD RAISED AND YOUR EYES FIXED FORWARD. 

Yay, you are now doing crow pose :)  

Additional tips: 

  • Wear longer pants if your knees hurt the skin on your arms. 
  • Put a pillow in front of you if you are afraid of falling flat on your face (something I have done many times!). 
  • Try each step out slowly.  Crow pose is not an easy pose. 
  • Arm and ab exercises can help you improve this pose better. 

Have fun, and be safe when practicing this pose!  Take a picture of your progress and tag me in it! I’d love to see all of your guy’s crow. 

Namaste! 

Yoga Au

Person A is a yoga instructor for extra money and because it relaxes them. Their class is really popular, so they end up having to teach partner yoga simply because of lack of space.

Person B is a business person, or some job where they overwork themselves or have lots of paperwork, and a friend forces them to sign up for yoga class because of how stressed they are.

Person B was only going to appease their friend at first, but hot damn that instructor is fine, so they end up signing up to take the class regularly with that instructor. Well, they end up being the most experienced student in the class.

Remember how Person A has to do partner yoga? There’s an odd amount of students, and it’s easier to show off the position if they had a partner. So they choose the most experienced student in the class. They fact that the most experienced student is also really fucking cute has nothing to do with it.

So now it’s Person A trying to demonstrate with a flustered Person B who keeps flubbing it and landing in compromising positions with their super cute teacher.

Idk I just really want one of these.

Here is a guide master list of youtube videos that will help on flexibility.  As a yogi, I notice that I struggle more on poses that require lots of flexibility because I get stiff a lot.  So here is a master list that will help improve your bendiness :) Enjoy and have fun bending! 

Full Body Flexibility 

Morning Yoga for Flexibility 

Yoga for Back Flexibility

Yoga for Hip Openers 

Yoga for Shoulders

Yoga for Splits 

Remember not to push yourself :) If you do these videos and you find you cannot do a pose, do a variation and keep on practicing!! Namaste.

anonymous asked:

There was a lady on GMA this morning that wrote this book basically saying if you practice self care and eat right then you can"kick" your chronic illness 😶😒 what do you think about that?

Hahahahahahaha I wish. Sounds like the doctor who told me if I just tell my bladder to stop spasming, I’ll stop having trouble peeing.

Seriously though, that’s such a pervasive attitude among able bodied people. They think that we’re not trying enough to be healthy. That there must be something that we can do to be healthy.

But the reality is, you can’t beat genetics. You can’t change that your body decided to attack itself for no reason. You can’t tell your organs to start functioning properly when they don’t.

No matter how many people tell us to do yoga or eat gluten free or try this healthy life style or that, it won’t change the way our bodies work against us.

Tl:dr that lady is full of shit and reflects the ableist notion chronically ill people aren’t doing enough or want to be healthy.

anonymous asked:

How do you surrender yourself to God?

Through Yoga
There’s 8 limbs of yoga. People in the west wrongly assume yoga is just aerobics, which is asana yoga, a vital part of it but not the only part. Yoga is the oldest spiritual tradition:

Yama : Universal morality
Niyama : Personal observances
Asanas : Body postures
Pranayama : Breathing exercises, and control of prana
Pratyahara : Control of the senses
Dharana : Concentration and cultivating inner perceptual awareness
Dhyana : Devotion, Meditation on the Divine
Samadhi : Union with the Divine

The 8 limbs of yoga:
http://www.expressionsofspirit.com/yoga/eight-limbs.htm

anonymous asked:

Yuuri is wise. Imagine Yuuri teaching Yoga. Zen Yuuri. Yuuri in yoga pants.

Victor Nikiforov has never thought much about yoga.

(He’s not for it, nor is he against it, he just hasn’t thought much about it.)

And then he’s walking with Yuri Plisetsky and stops in his tracks, gaze caught on the sight to his right. A figure inside of a large yoga studio with tall, clear glass windows. He’s wearing yoga pants and a pastel blue crop top, and Victor has never thought much about yoga, but suddenly he’s thinking a lot about yoga.

“I’ll be right back,” he tells Yuri, and his feet are forging ahead without his mind’s conscious permission.

“Where are you going?” the blond calls, walking after him.

Victor pushes open the doors to the building, sees a desk with a red-haired woman sitting behind it. He picks up a flyer, cranes his head to try and see inside the studio again, but the mysterious trainer is hidden behind a door. “How much do yoga classes cost?”

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‘I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.’
-Pablo Picasso
#yoga #yogapractice #yogaeverydamnday (at Manchester, United Kingdom)

Made with Instagram
Buy Me Love

“Love you, babe.” He says, kissing my forehead before leaving the house we’d bought together about two years ago. The first night he wanted to bang me in every room of the house but got tired after the first. And that’s when the thoughts started.

He hasn’t notice I’ve stopped saying “I love you” back. I just nod and smile. I didn’t work, he insisted I didn’t. I had my hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. The mug had a photo of us kissing on it. I suddenly felt pure rage run through my body as I stared at the mug. I threw it across the room at the wall. It shattered nd lay in three pieces with some small fragments. 

I pick up the large pieces, cutting myself on the half that had me. Tears welled in my eyes, not from the pain but from the apathy I’ve felt. I throw the pieces in the trash and use a wet towel to get the smaller pieces. I throw that away and go to the closet. I put on an expensive blouse and yoga pants, tying my hair in a bun and leaving. 

I put a luxury designer coat and heels. I grab the keys and get in the Lexus. I pull out and start to drive away from our gated col-d-sack and head into the city, specifically the bad part of town. I drive around until I see it. 

An attractive man leans against a wall, smoking a cigarette. I park the car, making sure to lock it. I walk over to the man, taking in his beauty. He looks about two years older than me. He has curly brown hair and emerald green eyes. 

“Can I help you, Gucci?” He asks. 

“How much?” I ask. He chuckles and takes a deep puff of his cigarette. 

“How much you got?” He asks, his smoke blowing out slowly. 

“I can give you a thousand.” I say, opening my pocket book. He takes another puff of his cigarette. 

“Why are you here, sugar?” He asks, blowing the smoke in my face.

“My husband can’t please me.” I say.

“You’re married?” He sounds surprised. “How old are you, sugar?”

“Twenty three.” I say.

“Fuck, you’re younger than me. Lemme guess, high school sweethearts?”

“No, he was older than me, four years older. We met at a party. He inherited his dad’s business or whatever. He proposed on Valentines day and married me in the Autumn of that year.”

“Shit, sugar. But that doesn’t explain why you’re here.” He says, taking another drag from his cigarette.

“The best time we had sex was when I first met him. I thought he was hot as fuck cause he was older and had money. After that, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed cause I thought he’d be good for me long term. A year later he proposed. I haven’t came since the night we met.”

“Shit, how long ago was that?”

“Four, five, maybe six years?” I say. “He refuses to let me work and insists I take yoga classes every day.”

“How many times a week do you do it?” He asks.

“Once, he wants me to get pregnant but I keep telling him I’m not ready.” I say, scratching my wrist. “I’ll pay you a thousand a week if you can fuck me.” 

He drops his cigarette and steps it out. His eyes rake up my body. He examines me.

“Okay, on one condition.” He says.

“What?” I ask, impatient. 

“We will never tell our names.” He says.

“That’s a stupid condition.”

“If your husband finds out, I don’t want to know your name. So he can’t pinpoint me.” He explains. I nod and he takes my hand, leading me to my car. “Now I’m gonna take yer back to my place.”

I hand him my keys and get in the car. He takes a seat and groans as he sits down. He puts the key in the engine and we drive off. 

“This car is amazing.” He says, I notice he doesn’t have a seat belt on, I reach over to buckle him in. “The fuck are you doing, Sugar?”

“I-I sorry. I don’t want you to die if we get in an accident.” I say, sheepishly. I rub my wrist and avoid eye contact. 

“He has neutered you.” He says, staring off. “Pet, you’re going to have the best sex you’ve ever had. How many people have you had sex with, Sugar?”

“T-two?” I suggest, not really knowing the amount. Just knowing it was under four. 

“Why just two?” He asks, eyes narrowed.

“When I was sixteen, I had sex with a boy cause his dad was a car dealer and he could give me an old model of a car for being his girlfriend.” I say. “I told Evan about that one night after a bottle of red wine and he called me a prostitute.”

“Honey, you are as far from a prostitute as you can get.” He says, turning a corner. I noticed the tattoos on his hands and neck, and the little scar above his eyebrow and under his plump pink lips. He had deep bags under his eyes.

“What can I call you?” I ask him.

“What?”

“I-I mean, I need to know what to moan when I… Um… Cum…” I say, now embarrassed. I scratch my wrist and look out the window. 

“Call me H. Okay?”

“Okay… H..” 

A small smirk grows on his face. We pull up to an apartment complex. I bite my lip, this was really happening. I lock the car and follow him up the five flights of his stairs to his apartment, if you could call it that. The lock on the door was broken and I could walk right in. The apartment smelled of weed and mildew. 

There was trash strung out all around the room, some of the windows were boarded up. I noticed  hunched over figure on a bean bag by an boarded window. H frowned at the person and walked over to them, kicking the bean bag. 

“Get up, charlie. You haven’t paid your share of the rent in months.” A hairy fat man with smudged, tacky makeup stares up at H.

“H, you know I don’t have the money.”

“Oh, but you have plenty of money to go shoot up! Pay your share and get the fuck out.” H turns around, after placing a swift kick to ‘Charlie’’s gut. 

“H!” A girl squeals, rushing over to H and wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his torso. She places a kiss on his neck and lips.

“Who’s this?” Another a girl asks, she’s completely naked. Her body is uncomfortably skinny and her eyes were hollow and sunken in. She walked up to H and placed a kiss on his cheek. The other girl, who was wearing a pair of pink panties and a white bra, was still straddled around his waist kissing his neck and face.

“This is Sugar. She hasn’t had an orgasm in about five years.” H says, putting the girl down. Se was really tiny, her corn blonde hair in two pig tails. She had a bit of weight on her but it worked in her favor. 

“FIVE YEARS! Holy shit, H. This should just be a charity case at this point.” Pig tails says. She turns to me and extends her hand to shake, I reluctantly take it. “I’m Pink, it’s nice to meet you, Sugar.” 

“Nice to meet you too.” I say.

“Alright, let’s get this on with.” Skinny says, glaring at me. She kisses H before shoving him towards a door. I follow him in. A bedroom: boarded windows, messy bed, and a cracks in the walls.

“How are we-” I start, H slams his lips into mine. My eyes widen and I sink into the kiss. I start to pull down the zipper on his grey hoodie. He smirks into the kiss, backing me into a wall. He pauses the kiss to throw his hoodie off, my eyes widen at the sight of his tattoos. They’re beautiful, I let my fingers ghost over them as we continue the kiss. 

He undoes the buttons on my coat, letting it fall to the floor. H moves his lips to my neck and collar. I warn him not to leave hickeys. I push him off for a second, throwing my shirt down with my coat. H’s eyes widen, his hands instinctively going to unhook my bra.

I groan as it drops to the floor, H’s hands imminently going to my breasts and squeezing. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. His hands leave my breasts and move to my ass. He squeezes and pulls me up to him. 

“You’re so beautiful, Sugar.” He whispers, his mouth ghosting over my ear. I rub myself against his jeans, which were incredibly tight. “I don’t know how your husband couldn’t touch you every second he could.”

“H, thank you.” I groan in his ear.

“Sugar, I’ve barely touched you and you’re already pudy in my hands.” He laughs breathlessly, his hand slipping into my yoga pants and cupping my heat.  I let out a breathy moan and kiss his neck. He pulls my yoga pants down my legs, along with my panties. 

“Lace? What a pleasant surprise. I would have thought he’d put you in old lady silk panties.”

“Fuck no. I put on something I thought would make you hard.” I whisper, breathlessly. I would never something like this: standing naked in a stranger’s apartment cheating on my husband while he’s at work. But I am. “Am I, H?”

“Yeah, Sugar.” He whispers back, looking up at me. He grips my legs and lifts me up. I laugh and he places me on the bed, spreading my legs. I see his face for a brief second before his head disappears and pleasure rocks my body. 

“Fuck, H! Shit!” I scream, accidentally bucking my hips into his face. He places his hand on my hips to keep them down.

“Easy there, tiger.” The vibrations of his words on my clit run through my body. “I take it Evan has never eaten you out.”

“No… No no no.” I groan in pleasure. “Please more, H.” 

“It’s a shame he never did.” Harry presses his tongue flat against me. “You taste so damn good.” 

“H! Please, fuck!” I squeal, grinding myself into his face. I feel myself come undone. I swivel my hips into his face as a wave of pleasure washes over me. 

The rest is a blur of pure pleasure, I’m trapped in a smokey haze of sex and pleasure. All I know is that I know this pleasure that I haven’t felt in years. This passion. 

“Fuck, that was really good.” H says, rolling over next to me. “I wasn’t expecting you to be that good like shit.”

We sit in silence for a few seconds. I roll over in the bed, looking at H. He was truly beautiful. His brown curls were laying around his face, his emerald eyes had a dazed look in them. 

“Can I bum a smoke, H?” I ask, breaking the silence.

“Go ahead, check my pants.” He says, pointing to his trousers that were discarded by the door. I pull the thin sheet wrapped around myself and H’s lower half to get up. As I get off the bed, H tugs the sheet off and stares at my naked form. I blush and attempt to cover up. 

“Don’t like what just happened didn’t happen. Your body is great, shame he makes you dress like you’re forty.” H says. I giggle and strut over to the pants. I fish out the box of cigarettes. H grabs a lighter next to the bed stand. 

I pick out a cigarette and put it in my mouth, tossing the pack to H.  He smirked and put a cigarette in his mouth before lighting it. I walked over and sat on the bed, he lit the cigarette in my mouth. I took a drag and blew out some smoke. 

“I used to smoke before I married Evan. He said it was a filthy habit. I haven’t smoked in years.” I chuckle. H laughs. “Can I ask who those other people in this condo are?”

“Other prostitutes. Charlie is a drag queen, he runs the gay district. The chubby girl, Pinkie, she works the fitness area. They like to fuck fat girls there.”

“And the skinny one?” I ask. H just shakes his head, taking a drag of his cigarette. He blows it out slowly, we sit in silence. 

“I want to try something.” H says. I nod, H takes a deep puff of his cigarette before kissing me. I kiss him back, opening my mouth to deepen the kiss. He gladly opens his. I start to feel light headed, so I pull back. Smoke leaves both mine and H’s mouths. “Cool.” 

Papa Scotie’s Happy Video Mega-Mix (will be updated over time)

Arin and Danny play Kirby’s Epic Yarn

Arin and Suzy try to teach Danny how to play as Mercy in Overwatch

Arin and Danny do a Mario challenge on Good Mythical Morning

Arin and Danny co-op Snipperclips

Arin and Danny play Devil’s Third TW: blood and gore (i out it on here because its fucking hilarious)

Arin and Danny try their best to play Mad Dog McCree

The Achievement Hunter boys make a Monster Mac

The Achievement Hunter boys tape Lil J to a wall

Michael and Gavin give a segway tour

Lil J, Gavin, and Geoff microwave about three bags of marshmallows

Markiplier feat. the Game Grumps learn how to pole dance

Markiplier and Tyler try and do couples yoga