how much more bonding do you need!

How to tame your hedgehog

African pygmy hedgehogs are becoming more popular as pets and with this rises the question on how to handle them. A quick glance at hedgehog fora and Facebook groups shows threads and posts titled “my hedgehog doesn’t like me” or “my hedgehog hates me”, “anti-social hedgehog”, “very angry hedgehog” and so on.

In order to understand the behaviour of our pets we have to look at the animal itself. What kind of animal is the hedgehog?

First off, hedgehogs do not “hate” people, nor are they “angry”. They are physically incapable of feeling such a human emotion. When handling hedgehogs we need to be careful not to project our own emotions and feelings onto the animal; this does not help us understand the needs of our pets. Instead, we need to go back to the root of it all: the natural instincts and behaviour of the hedgehog.

African pygmy hedgehogs (Atelerix albiventris) became more widely available to the exotic pet trade around the late 80′s/early 90′s in the US (and a decade or more later to other parts of the world). This isn’t that long ago. We need to realize our pet hedgehogs are not fully domesticated yet - in fact, they’re basically still the same (behaviour-wise, at least) as their wild cousins. I have seen wild caught animals which were more “social” than captive bred ones, and the other way around. This is also why I chose the word tame for the title of this post. While they might be captive born, our pets are still quite wild.
We cannot compare hedgehogs to animals we share an extensive, sometimes thousands of years old relationship with. But besides that, hedgehogs will most likely never become like a dog or a guinea pig simply because certain behavioural treats are not in their nature.
Learning how to handle your hedgehog starts with having the right expectations of its behaviour.

Hedgehog behaviour

Hedgehogs are relatively small prey animals. They are nocturnal, spend the nights foraging for food and sleep in their burrows during the day.
They are solitary animals and only come together to mate.
They are not aggressive by nature but have a marvellous defence instead: thousands of sharp quills. When threatened, they roll into a tight ball and wait until the predator has left (or in rare cases, fight, but only if they’re forced to).

So what does this mean for someone who has a pet hedgehog? 

1. Do not expect a similar bond as with e.g. a dog. Dogs are social animals that were bred from an animal that lives in packs. Hedgehogs are solitary. They are not social by nature. They do not need you and while they might get used to you being around, you’re mainly the Food Bringer and the Warm Thing To Sleep On but little more. There will not be much interaction. Your hedgehog will not come up to you when you call its name nor will it “love” you as its owner, simply because it can’t.

2. Being defensive prey animals, you can seem threatening to them. Balling up is an automatic response to a possible threat. This is totally normal hedgehog behaviour.

3. Since they’re nocturnal all they want to do during the day is sleep, not interact with you. And they do not interact or play the way some other mammals do. Most of the time you’re spending together will consist of the hedgehog either running around and doing stuff on its own, or sleeping on your lap.

These things are all very important in helping you understand the behaviour of your hedgehog. There are reasons your hedgehog is displaying these behaviours and if you know those reasons, you can use them to make your hedgehog feel more comfortable around you.
Arguably, other than looking cute hedgehogs don’t really have much going for them when it comes to being what most people think of as a “good pet”. They are definitely not suitable for everyone, but if they’re your type of pet they can be very interesting and wonderful animals to have!

Tips on handling/taming your hedgehog

Before I start I’d like to point out that every hedgehog is different and there’s not just one right way when it comes to handling. This is how I do it, coming from my experience with captive bred and wild caught (as well as actual wild hedgehogs) and from well socialized to not socialized at all. Besides the socialization of hoglets by the breeder, character plays a major part in hedgehog behaviour. Some hedgehogs seem to be naturally social and more open towards interaction (or at least let you interact with them) while others will remain more defensive for their entire lives.
The key with hedgehogs is patience. Do not expect a hedgehog to stop huffing and balling up within a week. If you just got a hedgehog it will need to get used to its new environment and owner, which takes time. How much time varies. Some will get used to you within a few weeks, others take months.
“Used to you” is also relative, as this doesn’t necessarily mean your hedgehog will stop balling up or quit huffing at you entirely - that’s very unlikely, since this is normal hedgehog behaviour.

Hedgehogs have bad eyesight and rely mainly on their excellent noses. You can make use of this by giving your hedgehog an old, worn t-shirt which has your scent on it. Alternatively, if you don’t have an old shirt, you can sleep with a piece of fleece in your bed for a day or two and give that to your hedgehog.
By putting this in the enclosure for the hedgehog to sleep in it will get more used to your scent.

The more you handle your hedgehog, the faster it’ll get used to handling. Don’t be afraid to handle your hedgehog; use your bare hands or a piece of fleece but no (leather) gloves, because then your hedgehog won’t be able to smell you properly. Do not reward unwanted behaviour (such as biting or extensive huffing/clicking) by putting the hedgehog back into its enclosure. Instead, enforce positive behaviour, e.g. by offering treats like live insects (I always use tongs so they do not mistake my hands for food).

Some people prefer a more “manhandling” way when handling hedgehogs, I personally don’t really like this for most hedgehogs but it’s a thin line: after all, you’re always forcing your pet to be with you when you get it out. If a hedgehog clearly shows it doesn’t like to be petted on the quills, I don’t go on petting it that way. But I don’t put it back either. Instead, I try to search for a way of handling with which this particular hedgehog is more comfortable right now. And yes, sometimes you have to do something they don’t particularly like, but be sure to reward positive behaviours - you don’t always need to reward with food, but it could also be simply “releasing pressure” (like giving them some space for themselves for a bit instead of continuously petting them, for example).
Handling should be seen in a very broad sense. Some hedgehogs prefer to sleep when out while others are active explorers. Try to adjust your ways of handling accordingly.
Because hedgehogs are nocturnal, some do much better when you take them out in the evening and/or when there’s dim lightning in the room.

When I have a new hedgehog which isn’t well socialized or simply has to get used to me and its new surroundings first I like to start by having it explore the (hedgehog safe) room or play area. I sit down on the ground and let the hedgehog do its own thing. If it likes to explore it can explore, if it likes to sleep it can sleep on my lap (most hedgehogs don’t like to sleep out in the open so a fleece bonding bag works great for this).
In the following days I will start to move around more. First still in a sitting position, then walking around, so the hedgehog gets used to my movements and me simply being there without me really interacting with it directly. You can do this both when the hedgehog is exploring or in its cuddle bag on you lap. For many hedgehogs it’s a combination of the two, some explore time and then back to sleep (especially during the day).
Depending on how much time I feel the hedgehog needs I keep repeating this for the following days or even weeks. With some, the slightest movement causes them to raise their quills. Others don’t react at all and could do fine with skipping these steps.

After that I start doing more “hands on” interaction, touching them more, trying to see if they mind petting on the quills or not, or the face, belly etc. Again rewarding wanted behaviour. It’s a constant search for what they really don’t like, what they tolerate, and what I think is necessary for the process. This is something you can’t just know without experience, it’s something you will have to learn and that’s completely fine! And simply being around them, having them sleep on your lap is bonding too. You might not be really doing much but the hedgehog will get used to your presence.
Even if you bought a hedgehog with the intention of not handling it much (which should be fine, as long as it gets enough enrichment from its habitat) handling should be a part of hedgehog ownership. You need to be able to check for injuries, clip the nails, etc. These “medical checks” are part of my handling routine: I hold the feet, check the hedgehog all over including their teeth (if possible). Your vet will thank you for this as well! Even when I have no intention of clipping their nails I still hold their feet, not only to check them over but also to make them comfortable with me holding them, which makes for easier nail clipping.

So it all boils down to this: have lots of patience, take small steps, and don’t have expectations a hedgehog simply cannot live up to. Accept that some hedgehogs, even with extensive handling, will never be “cuddly” simply because that’s how they are. All those hedgehogs you see on the internet, the ones that are getting belly rubs and petted while looking extremely chill: these are not the majority. This is rare. And even if you see a hedgehog that tame, remember there’s a lot you’re not seeing: possibly many weeks, months or even years working towards that moment, and it still is just a few minutes out of the hedgehog’s life. They don’t show you the times the hedgehog is huffing and clicking and balling up. Don’t feel bad if yours is, be open and willing to learn about hedgehog behaviour and never stop asking questions. And most importantly, listen to your hedgehog by watching its body language, because that’s going to tell you more about your hedgehog than my posts about general hedgehog behaviour ever could!

Delta (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Pt. 10 ❤️

-A/N: I’M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BB’S!! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE! i made it extra smutty! (; ENJOY! - Delilah ❤️  

You stared at yourself in the mirror, running your eyes over your current outfit.

The summer dress you wore hugged your curves perfectly, especially around your tummy. You tugged at the material, trying to see how far it would stretch before letting it go against your skin. You usually did that nowadays; trying to get an idea when you’d eventually have to stop wearing it. Bucky had bought you this dress and you loved it with a passion.

The sound of a knock on your door broke your thoughts. With a smile, you turned around to be greeted with an excited Pepper, who held your jacket in her hands.

“It’s gonna get a bit chilly tonight,” she squealed, slipping it over your shoulders.

You giggled, moving your hair to the side as she did so. You turned around, holding out your arms so that she got a view of your outfit. “Do I look okay?” you asked, looking down at your dress.

Pepper placed her hands on her hips, a small impressed smile on her cherry red lips.

“You look amazing, Y/N. Bucky’s gonna be blown away.”

Now that you and Bucky had the waiver out of the way, you could focus on the baby that was growing inside you. After many days spent contemplating on your future, you decided that you did in fact want a future with Bucky by your side. You wanted him to be your alpha. He practically cried when you told him that you wanted to bond with him.

But, you wanted to do it the right way.

It wasn’t traditional by any means, you knew that. Even though you were pretty much going backwards, you both decided to take it slow, which meant doing things people in relationships did. Like go on dates, watch movies together, all that stuff.

And Bucky, being the 40’s gentleman he was, was more than okay with that. He practically jumped at the opportunity to take you on your first date.

That’s how you needed up spending hours on your hair, makeup and outfit. You wanted to look good for your alpha, meaning you’d put in the largest amount of effort possible.

You had no idea where he was taking you.

You honestly had never been courted before, as you would never let any other people anywhere near you. But now, you had found your other half and you wanted to be as perfect as possible.

Bucky stood in the lobby of the tower, nervously waiting for you to arrive. He stared down at the bouquet of roses in his hand.

Man, this was so much different from the last time he did this. In the past, he was hardly ever nervous about the omegas he courted. Well, he didn’t really court them, he just slept with them for a night and then disappeared. That sounded so bad from that point of view.

It should’ve been easy for him. After all, he’s been on countless dates. But for some reason, he felt like he needed to impress you -which is something he hardly did with the other girls he took out.

He was your alpha and he felt the intense feeling to provide for you and give you countless amounts of attention. He felt it the day he met you and it had only gotten stronger.

He wanted you happy and he was willing to do anything to make sure you were.


He spun around, ready to give you the roses, but as soon as his eyes landed on you, his eyes widened.

You looked so damn beautiful.

When his eyes landed on your tummy, taking in the sight of the woman of his dreams carrying his pup, he felt his heart swell. The dress he bought you enhanced every little curve on your body.

“Jesus, doll…” he gawked, taking in your being. There was no way he was going to be able to get through dinner without at least needing a uh…bathroom break once or twice. You just had that effect on him.

You blushed, pulling a stray piece of hair behind your ear. You weren’t used to components, especially from the opposite sex. And Bucky, being the insanely handsome alpha he was, was like getting complimented from a celebrity.

A really sexy celebrity who you’ve been lusting after since middle school.

“Hi,” you giggled, awkwardly fumbling with your hands. Bucky bent down and placed a kiss onto your lips.

And god damn, did that intensify everything.

When you closed your eyes, you immediately felt a slight heat rising in your chest. Your legs began to shake and you went a bit lightheaded.  You dismissed it as heartburn.

When you pulled away, it suddenly stopped. You peered up at Bucky, who stared down at you with a matching confused expression.

“We should get going!” He chimed, wrapping his arm around yours and guiding you to the lobby doors. You could tell he was trying to ignore what had just accused, but…you felt something back there. You didn’t know what, but you did.

And you wanted to know what it was.

“Have you thought of any names yet?” Bucky asked you as he took a sip of his wine, his eyes never leaving yours.

You totally hadn’t thought about that.

The baby was going to be due in no less than four months now and you had yet to pick a name. You always had trouble picking things out or simply making decisions; it must’ve been your Delta nature. After all, deltas weren’t the most efficient when it came to make decisions.

But you wanted to pick the name. At least one of them.

“What about…Jane?” He asked, sensing your inner conflict. He raised his eyebrows, searching your face for any signs you liked the name.

You crinkled your nose and shook your head.

“What about Lana?” You asked, a small hopeful smile on your lips. It was a pretty name.

Bucky let out a small snort, causing you to raise an eyebrow. Was it that bad?

“Uh….I don’t know about that one, doll.” You frowned.

“Why not?”

“Spell Lana backwards.”

Instantly, your face broke out into an embarrassed blush. Oh god, your poor baby would be a target for bullying if you named her that.

“Have you thought of any, alpha?” You asked. When he didn’t answer, you raised your eyes to give him a smile. Instead of getting one back, you were met with Bucky’s lustful blue eyes staring back at you.

He cleared his throat before taking another sip of wine.

“Isabel?” He offered. You couldn’t help the grin that grew into your lips.

“Isabel Barnes,” you spoke. Bucky’s eyes lit up when you said that. “I like how it sounds.”

You thought back to what your brother told you before he left. If it was true, you’d have little Isabel running around here in just a few short months. But for some reason…you didn’t feel so sure.

“And what if it’s a boy?” You ask, placing your elbows on the table and resting your chin on your hands. You were eager to hear him say anything, as dumb as that sounded. Just the sound of your alpha’s voice made your heart flutter.

“If it’s a boy…” he began. “I think you ought pick, doll.” Your eyes widened a bit. An alpha letting a delta name their pup? That was completely unheard of.

You thought for a while. There were so many darn names to choose from. You thought about the name Grant, after Steve’s father, but that just didn’t fit. You even thought of naming your son after Tony, but considering Bucky and his past, that was a major no-no. Hell, you even considered Peter.

“I like Noah!” You exclaimed.

“Noah.” Bucky spoke, a small smile on his lips. “I like that.”

“His middle name has to be James, though.” You blushed. Bucky let out a breathy chuckle.

He reached for your hand, running his metal fingers along the soft flesh lightly. That immediately sent shivers down your spine and you were instantly damp between your legs.

“We’re gonna take this slow okay, doll?” He assured, his blue eyes searching yours for any doubt.

“Mhm,” you nodded, biting your lip as you watched him drag his tongue along his bottom lip. You knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but Jesus, it was doing so many things to you.

He immediately inhaled sharply, catching the scent of your pheromones. His eyes dilated slightly, just for a second before he shook his head, regaining his composure.

“Damn, sugar,” he let out a breathy laugh. “This is gonna be really hard for me.”

“I know, alpha,” you squeezed his hand. “but we can do this. I know we can.”

Bucky nodded, pressing a small kiss to your hand.

“One step at a time, right?” You smiled, giving him a nod.

“One step at a time.”

You let out a scream as Bucky shook his head rapidly, his tongue creating an amazing sensation onto your clit. That was all it took for him to bring you over the edge once again. This was the third orgasm he’d given you tonight, and you hoped he wouldn’t stop.

So much for taking it slow, right?

Bucky crawled up your body, crashing his mouth onto yours. He placed his hand on your jaw, forcing it open so that his tongue could explore your mouth.

You let out a small whimper, feeling his tongue dominate yours. And you completely let him. You felt Bucky pull away from you and gently flip you onto his back with you straddling his body.

“Fuck, doll,” he groaned, taking in the sight of you completely naked and straddling him. The sight of your barely swollen tummy only tummy only turned him on more.

“Bucky,” you whimpered, slowly grinding your core onto his thigh. You threw your head back, savoring the sweet sensation. It’s been forever since you first had sex with Bucky and you were craving him.

“You wanna ride me, sugar?” He growled, his voice falling deeper with each word. “You wanna make me your alpha?”

You nodded, grinding down harder. You wanted that so bad. Lifting yourself up, you grabbed ahold of his thick length and positioned it at your entrance. You gently ran the tip of it along your dripping folds, circling his head on your clit.

Bucky let out a small groan and ran his hands along your hips, gripping them harshly with this fingers.

“Please, Y/N,” he begged, bucking his hips upwards. The head of his cock pressed against your clit in such a delicious way, you couldn’t help but moan.

You placed your hands on his chest and lowered yourself onto his length. Bucky’s head fell back onto the pillows, his eyes screwed shut. You could see the small veins in his neck as he tried to keep from thrusting into you.

You gave an experimental bounce of your hips, moving them in small circles. Bucky was so big, you could feel every inch of him stretching your walls, the tip of his cock nudging your cervix. You moved faster, grinding your hips onto his.

“F-Fuck, Y/N.” he gasped, his hands travelling behind you to the soft flesh of your behind and kneading it harshly. “You drive me so fucking crazy.”

The mechanical sounds of his metal arm as it flexed added onto the arousal between your legs. You couldn’t wait until Bucky was comfortable to finger fuck you. Shifting so that your knees were better placed on the bed, you began swirling your hips in a figure 8.

“Oh, alpha.” You moaned, removing your hands from his chest and placing them onto your breasts. You pinched your nipples softly, rolling them with your thumb.

“Fuck me, Y/N,” he groaned, his fingers kneading your ass harder. “that’s what you want, right? You wanna make me yours?” 

Those last few words awoken something inside you. You didn’t have a single dominant bone in your body, but you had the burning urge to claim him; Bucky was yours and nobody else could have him. 

You had no idea where this newfound courage came from, but all coyness left you. Your right hand shot out and wrapped around Bucky’s throat, squeezing it harshly. You immediately expected him to give you a warning, or at least some kind of growl, but instead you were welcomed with the hottest thing on this planet. 

Bucky whimpered. 

He trusted upwards into your heat, letting you know that he was still the alpha in this, but you were in complete control of him. 

He was your bitch now. 

And you were never going to let him forget that.

You tightened your grip around his throat, digging your nails into the flesh softly as you bounced onto his throbbing cock. You placed your left hand on his chest and dug your nails into the flesh harshly, dragging them down his body. The marks created angry little red lines, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, it only turned him on even more. 

“Ah, baby I’m so fucking close,” he gasped, his eyes fluttering shut. He placed his hands onto your hips again and began thrusting into your throbbing pussy. The sounds of his skin against yours, along with the slick running down your thighs was the only thing you heard, along with Bucky’s whimpers of pleasure. 

“Please come inside me, alpha!” you mewled, feeling his cock nudge against your sweet spot repeatedly. 

In one move, Bucky sat up and flipped you both over. He gave you a quick, passionate kiss before placing his metal hand onto your shoulder and moving you so that you were positioned on your hands and knees. He placed his hand on your lower back, gently pressing downwards.Taking the hint, you arched your back, sticking your ass out for him. 

“P-please, James,” you moaned, reaching behind you and placing your hand on his. “Please make me come.”

The Russian swear he let out was barely audible, but you could feel the tip of his cock gently pressing into your folds, stretching your walls. You gasped, grasping hold of his hand tighter as his hips snapped forward into you. 

Bucky’s pace was almost brutal as he fucked your pulsing pussy. You could feel him hitting your g spot over and over, making you scream. Each time he bottomed out, he let out a groan, and you loved every second of it. 

You felt the familiar feeling of your orgasm building. You began clenching around his cock, milking it with each thrust. 

“Тебе это нравится, принцесса?” he groaned, thrusting harder into you. 

“Я так его обожаю, папочка!” you replied, much to his surprise. 

With one final thrust, your orgasm hit you at full force. You let out a blood curling scream as his cock fucked into you mercilessly. Bucky’s thrusts became sloppy, full of unrelenting force as he chased his orgasm. 

Before you could think, you felt his hand wrap around your throat, pulling you backwards. You gasped as he pulled you back harshly and onto your knees. Y

That’s when you felt it. 

The warmth in your chest, the lightheaded feeling and the shaking of your legs. It was right in front of you, but you just couldn’t understand. Bucky sunk his teeth into the warm flesh of your neck. It should’ve hurt, you knew that, but whether it be from the mind numbing orgasm, you felt the most intense pleasure.

Your eyes shut completely as Bucky spilled his come inside you, painting your walls. You clenched around him once again, wanting every single of it. 

You lay your head on Bucky’s chest, huffing softly as you fought to catch your breath. That was by far the most amazing experience you’d ever had. You just hoped he felt the same. 

“Did I hurt you?” his voice was soft, barely above a whisper. If you hadn’t have caught your breath by now, you wouldn’t have heard it. You peered up at your alpha, your eyes wide. 

“N-No!” you stuttered. “I feel great. A little sore, but I loved every minute of it.” 

His eyes flickered to you, searching for any signs of discomfort. You gave him a small reassuring smile. That’s all it took. He gave you a dorky grin, pressing a tender kiss onto your forehead. 

I love her so much 

Your eyes instantly snapped open. You looked up at Bucky, completely flabbergasted. 

“Y-You love me?” You squeaked. Bucky peered down at you with an equally confused expression. 

“I didn’t say anythi- wait what?”

Is he okay?

Bucky sat up, the sheets falling to his waist in the process. He heard you, he was a hundred percent sure…but you hadn’t opened your mouth. 

“Bucky…” you whispered, your eyes filled with tears. You were sure of it now, no a hundred percent. “Did we…?”

Bucky smiled softly, cupping your cheek with his metal hand. “We did it, doll.” 

“We’re one now.”



Tag list of super awesome people! 

@sebbylover24 @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @ballerinafairyprincess @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @amrita31199 @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @abigailredgrave @97britt @vivianbabz @inumorph @adrianabribiescacortes @thelostswan @c-maximoffs @calicokitkat @vibraniumdoll @sebsat-an @diana-daydreamer @phoenix21love @demonictufteddeer @babbt @livforthegames @kaykayvoltage53 @kerzenphilosophie @space-wine-and-donuts @twinklingstarlight @callmeoncette @r3stl3ss-minds @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @killer-stiles @shell7609 @softwintersoldier @saffreelove @koolok1996 @bad-wolf87 @allinhishands @svetlanaabril @buckbuckboobear @redroomproperty @i-write-tragedies-and-sins @melconnor2007 @kaitskennedyy @sammyissassy @dracu-ma-bucky @astralbarnes @shieldagentofthemonth @witheringblooddemon @jenna-luke @confuzzled-panda @bellaballanda @38leticia @davinaciaire @xxchexchickxx @marvel-fanfiction @ anditcametopass 

  • Jon: You don't really believe all that stuff do you?
  • Arya: Definitely Jon! We are linked with our wolves! It's so much more than a human/animal bond - It runs deep. I mean, since getting Nymeria back I can sense when she wants to hunt and feel the need to let off a bit of steam myself. Whenever I'm feeling low, she mopes about with me before I even realise how sad I am, and when I'm hungry she acts like she could devour a whole stag herself! She likes who I like, she growls at people I hate...
  • Jon: I dunno...I guess it's similar with me and Gho-
  • Sansa *shouting from her chambers*: JOOOOON!!!! GHOST IS HUMPING MY LEG AGAIN!!!!
Just a Thought: How Different Parenting Styles Result in Different Subtypes of BPD

In group therapy we’ve been asked to dig deep and think about how our childhoods affected our mental health. We all know that if you had an awful childhood you’re much more likely to develop a mental illness, and BPD is no exception.

But imagine you have two people who suffer from BPD. One suffers from impulsivity and rages. The other suffers from quiet BPD: they meet the criteria for a BPD diagnosis but they don’t display “acting out” behaviors. How does that happen? What causes a split between “acting out” BPD and “acting in” BPD?

I have a theory. Keep in mind I could be totally wrong because I’m not a professional. And keep in mind that sometimes children with loving, good parents still go on to develop BPD because BPD, like any mental illness, has several biological causes as well. But there doesn’t seem to be much research on BPD, so I figure I’ll just put this out there.

 As a baby or a toddler, you are entirely reliant upon your caregiver. You need to be fed, have your diaper changed, comforted when you’re upset. You can’t do these things on your own so you have to get your caregiver’s attention. So you cry.

For many people with BPD, their parents didn’t respond to their child’s needs. Or they outright didn’t care. If they hear you crying, they might not do anything. Or they may take their time. Or they may make it clear with their body language and other mannerisms that you’re being an annoyance to them. And they don’t spend time comforting you or holding you or creating a bond with you.

With parents like these, how is a child to get their attention? As a baby you can’t do much other than cry, but that changes when you become a toddler. You’ve learned your parents don’t care. You have to do more to get what you need.

So you throw a tantrum, scream, and rage. That ends up being more likely to get your parents’ attention, which is especially hard to do if your parents are neglectful or even abusive. Acting out gives you what you need, and having your needs met in this way may be the closest thing to validation that you can get.

Your behavior is immediately reinforcing. You are learning to act out in order to survive. You don’t know how else to express everything you’re feeling. Acting out is the only way you’ll be heard. This pattern of behavior is now ingrained into you.

Quiet BPD, I think, develops a little differently. If you have quiet BPD, maybe your parents were attentive. You don’t use acting out behaviors because you don’t need to. It isn’t a survival technique. You learn that your needs will be met. Your parents may have even been close to you.

But even so, something is still… off. Your parents give you affection, but if you start to voice your own opinion—if you express that you disagree with something they said—they explode. You’re not allowed to have a different opinion because it’s inherently wrong. Why is it inherently wrong? Because you are less than they are. Why are you less? Because… you’re you.

Maybe your parents rely on your for emotional support. But when you are in distress and ask for support in return, there is silence. Why don’t you get validation too? Because you’ve been taught that you are less.

If you do something wrong—let’s say you get in trouble for showing interest in romantic relationships or sex, or you don’t do well in school—that destroys your relationship with your parents. You’ve stepped too far out of bounds for them. Any mistake of this sort is unacceptable. You’ve shattered their perfect image of you (or the child they want), and now permanent damage has been done. There is hell to pay. They don’t just punish you. They become spiteful or even hateful. They may turn to abusive behavior. You’re not granted the same understanding that everyone else is. Why? Because you’re their child.

You’ve grown up learning that you are inherently worth less than other people. You’ve grown up learning you don’t have the right to be angry. You must dance around the emotions of other people, treading carefully lest you anger them or offend them and thus lose their affection. And these are all things you may have learned from your peers as well: unless you hold yourself to an unrealistically high standard in order to be accepted by your classmates, you are excluded or bullied or rejected or isolated. They can do and act however they so please and no one so much as raises an eyebrow, but if you do even a minor thing differently? You risk losing all the approval you’ve worked so hard for. Why must you work so much harder to have any worth? Again, because you’re you.

Whether you’ve learned this from your parents, your peers, or both, you resort to acting in. You may foster a deep sense of self-loathing. You may turn to self-harm or denying yourself food to “punish” yourself. You’ve learned that you must contain everything you feel. You’ve learned to hate yourself for everything, even something as minor as accidentally offending someone else. You’ve learned that when your parents are mad, when your friends are mad, it is your fault. You are responsible for appeasing others and meeting their needs. You are not allowed to fail in this regard. And so, you develop quiet borderline personality disorder.

All of this is just speculation. There can definitely be exceptions or crisscrossing of symptoms and behaviors and life experiences because we’re all different. But maybe we’re getting a little closer to understanding why we suffer the way we do.

Shance Fluff Week: Prompt #7

(Happy Voltron anniversary, everyone!)

“What were we…before?”

It had been haunting the back of his mind for some time, the feeling that there was…something different about his bond with Lance. Lance seemed much more open with him than with some of the others, but at the same time, much more closed-off. He treated Shiro like they knew each other inside and out, and yet pushed him away when Shiro tried to get close enough to understand.

He didn’t know how he knew, but he did. There was something missing from his memory, beyond just his time as Zarkon’s prisoner. The question came without a thought, just something he knew he had to ask to get the answer he needed. To get the truth.

He saw Lance freeze.

“Do you really want to know?”

“There are things in my past I’m probably better off forgetting,” Shiro said. “This…there’s something between us. I can’t believe that I’d be better off not knowing what that is. That you would be better off.”

Lance gave him a startled look. “What do you mean?”

“You give me this look sometimes, when you think I’m not watching. Like you want to talk to me, but you don’t know what to say.” Shiro deflated as he saw Lance look away, biting his lip. “Please. Tell me.”

Lance sighed. Looked at him. “We were…you and I were together.”

His expression didn’t falter. No sign of him taking it back, even as Shiro’s face fell, devastation on his face. Not by the news, but by the fact that he had forgotten. Forgotten someone so clearly important to him.

“I don’t blame you for forgetting,” Lance said quickly. “I can’t say I’m not upset that you did, and that I don’t know why, but I don’t blame you. It wasn’t your fault. You’d been through a lot. Just…” He looked away again. “I missed you.”

“Lance…I’m sorry.”

“I said it’s not your fault. That’s why I didn’t tell you in the first place; I didn’t want you to feel bad about it.”

They locked gazes for a moment, both unsure of how to proceed, now that it was out in the open. The silence went on for long enough that Lance decided it was time to go, and turned to give Shiro his space.

“Can we start over?” Shiro asked suddenly. Once again Lance turned to him, looking at him in surprise…and hope. Shiro’s confidence grew, and he forged ahead, continuing, “You and me. Let me get to know you again. As a friend, and…maybe more?”

Lance hesitated. Shiro noted, with some fondness, that the expression was familiar. It was the same expression that Lance wore when Shiro offered him his hand, back on Earth, before they became paladins of Voltron.

But as before, Lance smiled, filled with trust, and confidence. “I’d really like that, Shiro.”

Shiro smiled back, heart warmed. “Thank you.”

Look, I am not saying Sakura did not love Sasuke. She did. I am sure she did love Sasuke with all her heart and that’s completely fine. She was like what? 6-7 years old? I mean she would obviously fall for looks. You can’t ask a 6 year old to look into something more. I agree she tried to do as much as she could. She did care about Sasuke and tried to help him. The thing about Sakura is that her character was written in a way that it’s kind of real. She did not have Naruto’s determination or need to keep bonds. She did what she did, she loved how she knew and that is ok.
The thing is…no one is really worrying about Sasuke’s feelings in this? He did not want what Sakura wanted. He did not feel attracted to her in a way she wanted. People forget about the boy’s feelings in these kind of situations. Just because someone likes you it doesn’t mean you have to return their feelings. You are entitled to reject them. You aren’t a bad person. Sasuke isn’t an asshole. He just did not want nor needed Sakura’s romantic love for him. Sasuke isn’t bad for rejecting Sakura. Sakura isn’t a bad person for loving the way she knew. Stop bringing their characters down just because of a ship that isn’t justified. The ship is the problem, not the characters.

anonymous asked:

Could you do one where the RFA (and bae Saeran) react to MC being a famous body painter?

Sure thing, I gotcha! I actually miss doing body paint, it’s really fun.

You once asked if he could use him as a canvas.. Mind you this was before he knew what you were doing, so the small bean was a bit confused.
But this cutie still said okay, because he loves you.
So there you were, painting with these OH MY GOD THE PAINT IS SO COLD, HONEY STAAHP! (Yoosung.. Probably)
He kept asking how you got so good, and you were like “yea, I do this pretty much everyday.. I work on some movies aswell, is cool”

Yas, sign him up. He asks you so often to make im more beautiful.
He loves the feel of the paintbrushes, and the look of your face when you concentrate.
He brags about you all the time, and keeps begging his director to hire you (even if a bodypainter isnt really needed..)

This google master probably knew beforehand, and also sometimes on days off lets you paint on her. Its bonding experience, even though you sometimes draw cats on her to mess with her.
She is very proud of you<3

Probably wasn’t aware of it, due to body painting not being in his buisness life.
But when he found out he usually brags whenever he gets the chance, making you blushy.
Unlike Jaehee, Is so down for catart on him.

Begs you EVERY day to draw elly on his biceps.
Sometimes you give in.. Sometimes.
Cover him in memes

Honestly? I think this would be great therapy for him. Getting to calm down, having his s/o draw pretty patterns and whatnot on him.
Also covers up that tattoo of his, which he is very glad for.

The Woman and the East Wind (or Play her p3)

Sherrinford was exactly as Irene had expected, a cold, isolated, imperial fortress. She wondered how a Holmes could survive such a loneliness, such a… boredom.  
And she smiled then, that’s why Sherlock visits her so often, she thought, makes perfect sense after all. She almost felt sorry for Sherlock’s psychopathic serial killer’s sisters. Almost.

As she was about to enter Eurus’s cell, Sherlock’s hand found hers and stopped her. She turned meeting his eyes. Even thought his face seemed as tough and serious as always, she could feel a slight tremor in his fingers “You don’t have to do this, we could still…” but she didn’t let him finish that sentence. She pulled a finger on his lips and silenced him pronouncing some simple words “It will be fine”, and he nodded in return before adding “Just be careful”.  

Irene smirked at him one last time before disappearing into the tube that led to Eurus’s cell.

Irene walked slowly, unsure of how to proceed.
Eurus was not exactly how she had expected her to be, her eyes were incredibly cold and yet at the same time, her fingers were dancing in the most elegant and delicate manner.

Her gesture was almost magnetic, she was a siren, and Irene felt the immediate urge to take a step closer, to examine her, to understand her. Her long hairs were falling on her back, and she was walking barefoot around. Irene stopped for a second; Sherlock was definitively right, his sister was not the usual psychopath. Sadly for Eurus, the woman was not the usual girl either, so Irene stopped, joined her hands kept staring at Sherlock’s evil sister.

Eurus, on her side, stopped her hypnotic movements and started staring at her.

The younger Holmes stayed silent for a bunch of seconds, and Irene almost feared she would not have said a word for the whole time of her visit, she feared or maybe hoped that she would have deduced everything of her without even asking a single thing.

Regardless of this, Eurus’s silence didn’t last much and some seconds after Eurus’s enthusiasm surprised her, as the woman heard her loud, secure and excited voice exclaiming

“The woman!”

And Irene smirked for a moment before managing to reply, with an unexpectedly intrigued  tone “The east wind.”

“Come closer” Eurus continued inviting her guest with a gesture of the hand “I want to see you better” she whispered looking her through the glass, but the woman had no intention to obey her. Or anyone else, she was a former Dominatrix, after all, only one person could command her her, sometimes, and that person was a different Holmes.

“I’m comfortable here” she hissed fiercely, with almost a challenging tone and Eurus understood, even if she continued with the same insolence that she had shown before, that insolence that Sherlock feared would have endangered Irene so much. Her next words were a concentrate of all that “You’re beautiful and much hotter in person, but honestly, I don’t think that that’s what attracts Sherlock the most, with none offence.”
“None taken, his body is not what I prefer to him either” Irene replied staring at the other woman, who laughed amused “Of course not, his brain is far more fascinating, isn’t it?”
“To me, it is” the woman replied in a firm and secure tone.
“And mine?” the east wind asked taking a step closer, almost reaching the glass that divided them.
Irene didn’t hesitate to speak the following words “You’re a Holmes and from what I’ve heard the most brilliant one so yes, I assume your brain must be something… remarkable”
Hearing those words made Eurus smile, in an awkward disquieting unsettling smile and the woman felt intrigued and scared in the same measure, then Eurus smirked whispering “I’ve heard so much about you too.”
Irene stared at her for a moment, then hissed “I haven’t heard enough about you”, and the younger Holmes laughed slightly before joining her hands “This doesn’t surprise me, Sherlock has the tendency to… hide me, but I would say that’s already a big improvement from erasing completely.”

Irene nodded imperceptibly. She knew Eurus was right.

Sherlock had spent years closing himself up, preventing anyone to understand him, how he truly… thought, what he felt, who he really was. He had spent years building this… unbreakable wall around him, actually believing that showing… feeling, any kind of affection would have damaged him, his work, his life. For years he had pretended to be this… perfect functioning machine and yet at a point John had unlocked something in him, as Eurus had, as herself had too, probably.

Irene was not sure.

She was never sure when he was concerned. This is what she… appreciated most about him, what made her feel…overwhelmed. It was the fact that he was capable of challenging her in a way no one else had ever managed to, he was capable of dealing with her in a way no one else could. He was special, he was the definition of special to her, but what was he to her, or she to him, eventually? Neither of them was sentimental, neither of them liked to truly speak about… emotions, connections, sentiments.

And yet years had gone by, and he had changed. And she had changed. And their… bound had somehow developed, or at least it seemed so to her. It was so to her, it was true. Real. They were becoming… real, in their way, at their terms, but still real.

After that some words escaped her mouth, words that were intended tp provoke Eurus, she told herself. Or maybe she was looking for an excuse to bring the subject up, an excuse to ask for her opinion. Eurus’s. Sherlock’s sister, an era-defying genius whose opinion and feelings evidently mattered to… to him.

“He barely replied any of my texts at first, now he’s more… active. Is that improvement to you?”

Eurus eye-bows raised instantly “What do YOU think, Irene?”.

Her voice sounded like course, or blessing, the woman was not sure. Surely the younger Holmes intended to underline her superior mind, sadly for her; Irene never had any intention to be outsmarted, so her reply arrived more insolently than she had intended to “What do you expect me to think, Eurus?”

Eurus Holmes stared at Irene Adler for what it seemed an eternity and the woman saw the east wind’s eyes running through her. She knew what the other woman was trying to do. She had seen it already, she had seen that kind of look on her before but Eurus, like her brother before her, seemed incapable of deducing THE woman, of… unveiling her and this shocked Eurus at the point that Irene almost saw a sign of surprise in her eyes. Almost. Some seconds after Eurus smirked gently and took a couple of steps back before exclaiming in an excited and almost scaring tone some words that Irene would have gladly avoided.

“Let’s make it funny. What do you feel for him?”

Unexpectedly the answer to that was not hard to give.
On the contrary, Irene suddenly felt as if she had been preparing for this conversation for years and words simply left her mouth.
“I thought you were an era-defying genius beyond Newton, Eurus.”

What happened after was a dangerous, intriguing and unrepeatable… game of chess.

“That’s about emotions and Sherlock has always have been the emotional one and you…” Eurus stopped for some seconds, probably looking for the right phrase to use or possibly only to arouse the woman’s curiosity “You’re the living proof of that, but sentiments… Sentiments, affection, attraction, love, lust… are all chemical defects, just chemical defects. And yet these mean something to him. And to you too, probably, so what do you think you are to him?”
“Why do you care?” Irene replied ending that question with an insolent smile on her lips.
“Who says I care?” Eurus hissed rolling her eyes.
“Why do you want me to answer, then?” the woman insisted taking a step closer, almost chasing her adverssary “Tell me.”
“What is he to you?” the younger Holmes continued fiercely “Tell me.”

Neither of them spoke, and for a moment a strange silence fell between them.
Then Eurus spoke again, her tone irreverent as before “Is he the love of your life, darling? A piece of you?”

Those words hit the woman’s pride. What was Sherlock to her? That was a question she wasn’t sure she wanted to answer to. The love of her life…it just seemed not right.
He was… so much more. He was… and in that moment some words escaped her mouth.

“He’s… a stimulating challenge, a constant intriguing, extraordinary, life-changing challenge.”
Hearing that made Eurus smile, an almost gentle smile “You’re playing your relationship down, you know it, I know it.”
“Do I?” Irene asked with false innocence, which only managed to slightly irritate Eurus. “You tell me. How was it?” her voice ringed as her eyes kept staring at the woman.
“What?” Irene asked genuinely confused, and the other woman replied almost immediately  “Everything…To find him, to love him, to lose him, to find him again… your emotional context with him…”
“Why are you so interested, Eurus?” the woman asked almost annoyed “And let’s not pretend it’s just because you need some emotional context, he has already given you that…” Irene added before stopping.
She stopped, for some seconds she stopped, thinking about that, reflecting about Eurus’s interest in her and after that, she continued with a more secure tone “You want to understand the human defect that bonds me to your brother, you are curious and you need to understand how it works because as much as you claim to know about… everything and everyone, “love” is something you don’t quite get.”
“You think you’re smart, but…” Eurus started but this time too the woman stopped her without remorse and spoke disregarding her opinion, finally understanding that, that was the only possible way to beat Eurus on her own game. So she hissed “Do you envy him or are you jealous of me?” she said that taking a further step closer, moving her legs like a blade in the warm flesh. In that moment Eurus’s hand reached her abdomen and whispered with an indignant tone “You really think I could find Human Connection intriguing enough to awake my interest? Why?”
“Because I think Human Connection can be quite…remarkable” the woman stated.
“How so?”

Irene gave her a sweet smile that seemed almost a mockery and then asked: “For a long time I’ve kept asking myself questions about it, haven’t you?”
“Do you realise I’ve been living in Sherrinford, isolated from the World, since I was five, right?” Eurus replied almost exasperated from that singular sister-in-law, and the woman in front of her nodded and whispered smirking “Of course I do, that’s why I think you’ve spent a considerable amount of time thinking about it, am I wrong?”

Another moment of silence happened between the two of them, and for the first time that day Irene almost felt Eurus true uncertainty. She lowered her eyes, but it didn’t last much. Vulnerability was something that disgusted her, as disguested Irene too probably, and yet there was a question she wanted, she… needed to ask her.

“Do you think is needed? Do you think you need him?”

“Do you?” the woman asked and seeing that the other had no intention to react, continued “What I think is that connection, real connection, is the rarest thing in the world and sometimes… sometimes it doesn’t even seem even worth it. I mean… Is it even possible? To truly know another person, to find that human being that understands you… how you think, how you move, the one who fits you, the one that… redefines how you perceive the surroundings. Is it even a worthwhile pursuit? Especially in a world when people… hurt each other… betray each other and…leave, suddenly and unexpectedly.”

She finished that sentence realising that that tone had become almost… emotional, she could almost feel tears trapped inside her eyes, which surprised her more than she should have. And Eurus, obviously, noticed that and made sure that the woman knew she had.

“Did that hurt?” she asked with a slight cruel tone in her voice “Believing him dead? Knowing that he would have never kissed you again, touched him again? Knowing that his gorgeous and reassuring body had become useless and cold. Did it burn your heart? Was it an unbearable weight that almost destroyed you?” she hesitated for a while, appreciating the woman’s slight tremor “Did it hurt?” she asked again.
“Does it matter?” the woman whispered staring at her in return, facing her attack “Did it hurt?” Eurus repeated in an almost severe tone.
“Does it matter?” the woman repeated, determined not to let Eurus win.

She was Sherlock’s sister, but some memories, some… secrets were theirs and theirs only. How she had felt when she lost him, or how he had felt after her first death… those feelings were completely private, a pain like that… surely needed to be… contained. And Eurus felt that, all of that, and suddenly her fluid voice filled in the room again.

“You won’t answer unless I answer first, will you?”

Irene silent smirk was the only encouragement Eurus needed to continue. And she did.

“It matters. Sherlock and you.” her voice hissed “ You…were right, I want to understand.” In that moment the woman almost laughed “Good luck then, not even I understand what that is”

She was being honest, and yet things were changing between them, she could feel that. Their… connection had changed in a way she had never expected to, they were… growing up, maybe. Or maybe they were just adjusting to each other, they were experimenting something new.

Usual people would have probably called that stable-loving-relationship, and yet they weren’t usual people, they had never had been.
And yet they had been living together for a while by then, she had been sharing his bed and his house, and… from time to his job, his fears, his hopes and… for the first time in her life, she was considering the idea of settling down. With Sherlock. That thought… almost disgusted her. Almost, because deep down, she felt as if she had been waiting for that moment, for him, for all her life.

Eurus’s voice distracted her once again “You are important to him”, and Irene stared at her, finally understanding what all that dialogue was about “You are important to him, too” she responded, serious and Eurus insisted once again.“And he cares for you, deeply.”
After that Irene shook her head “Please don’t. This is not a competition for affection, Eurus. He’s capable of caring for us both.”
“Is he?” the east wind whispered unsurely, and the woman nodded simply, and strangely her movements were also… reassuring “He’s more capable of that than he seems. And so are you.”

Suddenly Eurus’s expression relaxed and her lips formed an almost satisfied grin. Then she said something the woman had never expected to hear.

“My brother really has good taste.”
“Did you doubt that?” she said in return biting her lips.
“I did" the other replied honestly “It took him a while to get rid of your husband.”
“Ages” the woman hissed, trying so hard not to laugh.

Sherlock had really gotten rid of her husband, outsmarting him mentally and beating him physically. That memory was so unexpectedly…. pleasant to her, she had never thought she would have enjoyed seeing him jealous THAT much, but it wasn’t the right time to lose herself in those kinds of thoughts; so she continued “But I probably should thank you for that.”
“Me?” Eurus said faking a surprise “You” Irene repeated keeping staring at the younger Holmes, who smiled kindly understanding what the woman wanted to say “Sherlock didn’t tell you that, Irene” she whispered and the other nodded confirming that “He didn’t. Neither did the Ice Man, nor your parents.”

Eurus Holmes nodded and after that whispered her final opinion about the woman, Sherlock’s woman. Irene Adler. “You are as witty as you are intelligent, Irene. You really are”, and as the woman wanted to reply to that compliment the east wind spoke again “But I got to choose the name, not negotiable.”

Those words made the woman’s heart lose a beat. The name, Eurus, the era-defying genius Eurus Holmes had said “the name”, and for obvious reason, the woman had understood what Eurus was trying to say.

“What?” she exclaimed, hoping to be wrong.
But she wasn’t and Eurus smile confirmed that “Nero if it’s boy, Mata if it’s a girl, but it will be a boy this time I’m quite sure.”
“What?” Irene repeated again, trying so hard to remember the last time she had her period, trying to give a reasonable explanation for her recent tendency to throw everything up in the morning, or to the fact that she had been overemotional and…
Eurus saw the woman’s doubts and gave a small move of the head “You have understood.”

And still, Irene was not convinced “This is absurd, I was a dominatrix, I know my body” she whispered leading her hands towards her belly.

“Yes,” Eurus said noticing that gesture “Yes and you slept with my brother more or less two months ago, haven’t you?” Irene’s silence confirmed once again Eurus’s theory, so she continued “And last night. And this morning” after that the younger Holmes took a big breath before adding “Deep down you know I’m right.”
“I…” the woman started, but a noise behind her stopped her voice. The elevator that led to Eurus’s cell opened, and Sherlock appeared behind them, then she heard his voice saying “Time’s up sis.”

Well, I’ve never expected I’d ever need more of these two bonding but after reading @onthespectrumwriting‘s amazing story I realized how wrong I was. "The power inside her” (lol, I wrote the wrong name at first) doesn’t seem completed without someone’s (if not everyone’s) emotional breakdown. I do get that it’s almost impossible to place so much into one 20 mins long episode and that’s why we should be grateful to all those writers who find time to write such missing scenes. 

You can read “That’s rough, buddy” on Tumblr or AO3

Here are some FanFictions that focus on the close could have been bond between Red Forman and Jackie Burkhart as requested by @natural–blues

These stories are all family/friendship pieces. Several of them are my own fanfics, because I love writing about the two of them.


1.) Special Delivery written by nannygirl

Summary: Jackie goes into labor, but there’s a problem. Hyde’s out of town. Who will Jackie call on to help her? Mr. Red Forman, of course! Will Hyde make it back on time or will it be up Red to acompany Jackie in the delivery room?

Note from the Author: This is one of my own personal favorites, honestly. It wasn’t as popular when I first posted it and even today it gets more favorites than actual reviews but I love it and hope whoever reads it enjoys it!

2.) I Love You Too, Mr Forman written by nannygirl

Summary: After her phone call to Eric, Jackie realizes there’s someone else she has to talk to. Someone she loves and respects. Someone who’s played an important role in her life. My take on Jackie and Red’s phone conversation from episode ‘Till the Next Goodbye’

Note from the Author: This fic was the fic that really showed me that others also enjoyed the close relationship of Red and Jackie, that we didn’t get to see much on screen.

3.) If You Ever Did Believe written by nannygirl

Summary: The Formans and the group of friends, who grew up in their basement, are living their everyday lives in the new decade of the ‘80s until something happens that turns everyone’s world upside down. Soon it becomes Jackie’s mission to help everyone, especially Red, mend broken bonds, get answers, and hopefully find peace again. JH,ED,KB,RK,F?

Note from the Author: This story is a WIP and there’s just some Red and Jackie interactions so far but much more is coming!

4.) Do Me A Favor? written by 1980s-popito

Summary: “Jackie has an important question for you,” Kitty answered her husband seriously. Red gave a questioning look, now slightly concerned. “How important?” “Pretty important,” Hyde answered, “And that’s coming from me.”… Jackie stood up from her seat, walked over to the man and let out a deep breath. “Mr. Forman,” she started seriously, “I need you to do me a really big favor.”

5.) Father’s Day written by brokenrussiancrawl

Summary: It’s Fathers day and Red is sure that no one has gotten him a present. But he gets a surprise when her sees that Jackie got him one.

6.) My True Love Gave to Me written by nannygirl

Summary: When Jackie discovers that Red has been giving Kitty the same Christmas gift for years, she decides to help him find a different and better gift. Meanwhile Hyde is having his own trouble figuring out what kind of Christmas gift he should get for Jackie.

Note from the Author: This story does include romance of the pairings JH and RK but there’s also chapters devoted to interactions between Red and Jackie and Kitty and Hyde.


I wrote this and listened to:medicine-daughter, nightcall-London grammar, ghost (stripped)-halsey…. give them a listen?

So im not that sure if i like this but im going to post i anyway so i can get it off my chest and i promised y’all something {since i wont be very active due to more exams:/}…enjoy? also sorry for any spelling mistakes its late and i cba to proofread bc ill just end up scrapping it all.<3

Keep reading


So this was requested, and yikes not my best.  For some reason I got serious writers block when it comes to Baron. 

Request:  “Can I get a smut fic of Baron getting jealous of his only friend flirting with AJ backstage they have rough hotel sex and turns out she was trying to get Baron a title shot”

Word count: 1,063

Warnings: Goes from smutty, to fluffy, to smutty, to fluffy, bonds, jealousy, hotel sex 

Tags: @hardcorewwetrash @fandomfreak202 @nickysmum1909 @welshwitch5 @hiitsmecharlie @ilovesamizaynn @actualamyautopsy @redalternativefirefly 

-Originally posted by @fyeahnxt -

He was your best friend, nothing more right?  You were harbouring feelings towards Baron Corbin for the past year of your friendship, but that was all it could be, right?  That’s what you thought, so you let it slide, never pushing for anything more, so when AJ Styles came up to you bluntly flirting.  You never protested, in fact you returned the affection, with a twirl of your hair, a giggle, biting of the lip.  It wasn’t like you had anyone waiting for you at home, so you never protested.  Apparently, Baron didn’t like that.

So here you were, laying down on the hotel bed, only in your bra and underwear while Baron paced in front of you.  Your wrists were loosely tied to the bedpost with his ties, if you tried hard enough you could get out.  “Bar-”

“What do you see in a dwarf like that?” He growled cutting you off, he watched your eyes with his almost black eyes.  “He’s a cocky, slimeball who just wants to fuck you” he said lowly “and you don’t?  From this position, you have no right to say he just wants to fuck me” you retorted glaring right back at him.

Baron chuckled lowly shaking his head “no no no, that’s where we’re different baby girl” he said watching your hips buck slightly at the name.  He smirked and ran his thumb across his lip “AJ just wants to fuck you, then leave you before the sun rises, he wants nothing more than your pretty pussy” he said dragging his finger down your thigh.  You looked away closing your eyes tightly “he just wants to use you, because he thinks he can” he said lowly “and you don’t?” Baron chuckled once more.  “He wants to use you like a whore, I however, want to treat you like a princess” he said.  

Your eyes slowly trailed back to him, his hair was tied back into a messy bun, his beanie long forgotten.  His eyes, softened slightly when looking at you “when I saw him, trying to get with you and you so easily letting him, I had to step in” he said.  “You didn’t have to punch him and throw him into a wall” you muttered.  Baron chuckled once more “you see baby girl, I had to, and I had to carry you out like that, so that no one would even think twice about trying to get with you, because you’re mine” he said lowly watching your eyes.  You swallowed hard “now, baby girl, I’m going to show you that you’re mine” he said kissing you deeply.  You moaned against his lips as you tried to hold onto him but you couldn’t, you cursed at the bonds.

Baron smirked as he pulled away kissing down the valley of your breasts making you gasp arching your back.  “What was that?” He smirked you shot him a glare as Baron chuckled nipping at your skin, you smiled biting your lip softly watching as Baron continued to kiss down your body letting his teeth graze the more sensitive parts of your body.  “Baron please” you begged closing your eyes for a moment, you couldn’t believe you were in this situation but you weren’t complaining, you just wanted to touch him.

Your panties were slowly pulled down your shaky legs as Baron watched you intently with a slight smirk “the things I had in store for you tonight” Baron said lowly as he watched your eyes for a moment.  “But after seeing you with AJ, forget those plans” he growled as he pushed his pants down kissing you deeply “I need you Y/N, fuck, more than I want to admit, everything about you is fucking perfect”.  Baron looked down at you “do you need me as much as I need you?” He asked quietly watching your eyes for a moment.  You smiled softly and nodded at Baron “you have no idea of how much I need you” you whispered softly to him with a smile.

Baron couldn’t help but smile as he untied the bonds that held you to the bedpost, you quickly put your hands on either side of his face kissing him deeply.  Baron shifted as he moved his hands to wrap your legs around his waist as you pulled his hair out of the bun that it was neatly placed in.  Baron rolled his hips against yours, and you gasped pulling away from his lips.  Baron pressed his forehead against yours panting slightly “jesus-fuck you’re tight” he panted quietly “you okay baby?” He asked softly looking into your eyes.

You nodded with a small smile holding him “I’m more than okay” you said to him with a grin “good, because I’m not going easy on you” he chuckled.  In a second your mouth fell open as Baron began to pound into you, giving you no chance to even think “B-Baron!” You cried out as his hips pistoned into yours.  Baron grunted as he looked down at you, your body jerking up and down, you hanging onto him for dear life as you shrieked your eyes screwed shut.  “Fuck baby girl you’re a sight” he panted as he thrusted harder.  “Baron-” You gasped, you could feel the bedframe hitting the wall and at this point you could care less.

Your orgasm caught you off by surprise as you arched your back with a shriek that probably matched a pornstars.  Baron let out almost a howl as he pistoned his hips against you before pulling out as he came on your stomach.  You closed your eyes tiredly panting with a smile, when you opened your eyes, Baron was gently wiping his release off of your stomach with a warm cloth before cleaning the rest of you up.  

Baron laid down beside you and pulled you against his chest, gently playing with your hair “why were you talking to AJ in the first place?” Baron asked softly.  You chuckled as you propped yourself up on your elbow looking down at him “Want the truth?  I was trying to get you a title shot” you admitted with a small smile.  Baron smiled as he kissed you deeply “baby, thank you, but if I ever see that sleez bag talking to you again, I’m going to beat the shit out of him for more than just a title shot”.

Blackness. (Kris, werewolf!au, Mating Season series)

Originally posted by imhoechlins

/Hello dear, I hope you enjoy the wolf!kris! It’s a bit older, but I had fun with Kris while I was working in America :3/
Blackness. (werewolf!au, Mating Season series)


You stared out of the window in the spacious living room you were currently sitting in. SpongeBob played on TV, yet you lost interest in it a long time ago. The Sun was slowly starting to set, but your uncle still wasn’t back home.

You stared out at the back yard, over the pool that was there, into the small woods at the back of your property. Ever since you came (which was three days ago), you felt attracted to the softly swaying branches behind your yard. The sun was already hidden by other houses and the sky was turning into a soft violet. It looked all so magical.

You moved in with your uncle and aunt three days ago. You flew into Washington airport at three in the afternoon, very jetlagged and you arrived at your uncle’s house in the evening. You unpacked, putting everything in its place before deciding you were going to bed. Your bedroom window was aimed straight at the forest behind your back yard and it somehow calmed you well enough to fall asleep in a fairly unknown place. Both your uncle and aunt had fairly difficult jobs, and so they couldn’t take another day off to stay with you and show you around some places for you to have fun. You tried going out on your own, but that backfired on you pretty quickly as you almost lost your way. You were at the house most of the time, waiting for them to come back and in the meanwhile, you were surfing the internet, chatting with your friends or reading a book.

Three days passed by in this manner.

Your third day was almost done, with your aunt coming back in an hour, and that’s when you noticed it- the black lump that staggered into your back yard. The blood froze in your veins and time stopped.

What was it?

The unknown lump was apparently going from the forest, and at first you thought it was a human, but then it whined and it tumbled onto its side, apparently far too tired to go on. You carefully went out onto the porch, approaching the beast, when you got a better look on it. It was a wolf. A wolf with its fur black and glistening in some places.

“Alright, ___.”  You sighed to yourself, and its ears perked up at the sound of your voice.

“Just nice and slowly…” you started approaching the whining wolf, making sure it saw you clearly. The golden eyes of the beast bore into yours and you were finally close enough to see that the shiny parts of his fur were actually blood streaks.

“Oh my…” you absentmindedly reached out to trace the wounds, but when the wolf snapped his jaws, you quickly retreated.

“Sorry.”  You apologized to the animal before looking around. If someone would see it in your backyard, they would probably call the police, fearing it would be a wild animal attack. And deep inside, you didn’t want that.

You needed to take him out of sight quickly.

“Alright then…but you have to trust me with this.”  You muttered to the animal at your feet, slowly reaching out your hand to his nose. He will either accept you, or you won’t have a right hand anymore. The wolf slowly lifted up his head, before you felt the wetness of his nose against your palm. You squeaked when he licked at your skin and then his head lowered again.

“Alright then.”  You clapped your hands enthusiastically, jumping to your feet.

“Up, boy! Come on, let’s get up! Up!” you called out, trying to get it to move. The animal was far too big to move just by yourself. The wolf stared at you for a while, those golden eyes boring into yours, making you feel stupid. You groaned, running back inside and getting some meat from the kitchen.

“Alright, reward system!”  You told the creature, ripping the package open.

“You stand up, you get meat.” You dangled the slice of food before his nuzzle, and when he made a move to grab it, you pulled it back.

“Nuh-uh! Up, darling. You gotta get up.”  You heard it growl and you swallowed, wondering what the hell were you doing. You were currently talking to a wolf, coaxing it to get up and into your house. You didn’t have any longer to think about it, because your wolf was standing on wobbly legs, his head swinging from side to side, to fight unconsciousness.

“Good boy!” you cooed at him, giving him the well earned reward. The meat disappeared in the wolf faster than you could’ve imagined and he was starting to reach out for more.

“The next one you’ll get once you get on the porch.”  You told him and with this manner, you were able to get the wolf inside your room and into your closet. You laid out a towel for him to settle on and once you placed enough of meat on the fabric, the wolf understood what you were trying to do.

“Good boy.” You complimented him once again, gently stroking his head. His eyes were closing each time you touched him and his breathing seemed to have calmed down. Once you were sure he wouldn’t go anywhere, you ran downstairs for a bowl of water and a rag you could use to clean the wounds out. When you came upstairs, he looked like he passed out, the air coming out of his mouth in soft puffs and so you tiptoed over to him, placing the bowl next to him and the towel by his side. It needed rest and you know that it wouldn’t be a great idea if you woke up a wild animal by probing into its wounds.

“Hello~! ___?” the front door opened at the sing song voice of your aunt reached your ears. You checked yourself for any bloodstains before tilting the closet door so that if someone entered the room wouldn’t be able to see that there was something inside and you went out to greet your aunt.


Five days went by and BenBen (the wolf you took in) was recovering pretty nicely. It seemed silly, but you were sure you had some kind of bond with the wolf. How else would he understand everything you told him?

It was easy to keep him a secret from your uncle and aunt, because they respected your privacy and they never went into your room. The only thing that was suspicious was the waste the wolf produced, but he quickly understood you begging him to do it on the newspaper, and the cleaning went much more smoothly. Once you were sure BenBen trusted you enough, you cleaned out his wounds, which almost seemed to be less dire as they were the day you found him. The only thing he would need now is rest and he’ll be ready to leave in no time. To be quite honest, you didn’t want that. You’ve grown fond of the wolf, most of the time you were sitting in the closet, with your back against the wall and its head in your lap, stroking it softly. You were either reading a book, or you told him almost everything- how your day went, how you were becoming a little homesick, but how you were glad that you have him. The golden eyes of the wolf looked up at you with adoration and understanding. It was all you wanted in a look.

BenBen slowly grew to being your best friend.


You were running through the woods. You felt the fallen branches stabbing your feet as you ran barefoot, the thorns scratching your whole body. You felt countless injuries on your body and you were scared. You looked over your shoulder to see if you were still being hunted.

Yep, the white-dressed, black-haired ghost with a hollow face and dead eyes was still behind, slowly gaining up to you.

“No…” you whimpered, tears falling from your eyes.

“___…” you heard your name in the distance, but you pressed on, scrambling to your feet once you fell.

“___, wake up. Please, wake up.”

“No…” you sobbed again, and as you felt something grab your shoulder, you broke though the veil of dream land.

You thought wrong when you expected your heart to calm down after the nightmare, because there was a shadow looming right above you. Just as you opened your mouth to scream, a large hand covered it, muting the cry out.

“No, no, shh~” the voice was husky and deep, urgency underlining it, as the man moved to straddle you, much to your horror. His calming had the opposite effect, as you trashed in his hold, trying to hit wherever you could. You probably hit gold when you struck over his ribcage, because the man grunted heavily, as if he were in pain. You were about to strike him again when his other hand grabbed your wrists, holding them above your head.

“Please, calm down, ___, come on, shhh~” you wanted to kick him, but his feet hooked around your thighs, holding them in place. Your breath hitched in your throat when the man leaned down, his mouth on your ear.

“Shh~” he gently whispered, the warm breath hitting your ear and for some weird reason, you felt your panicked body start to relax.

“Shh~, ___, calm down…don’t worry, it was just a dream…I’m here, don’t worry.” He kept reassuring you and you wondered who the mysterious man was.

The weird thing was, he had a feeling of familiarity. As if you knew him for a while now, so when you finally opened your eyes and turned to look at him, you couldn’t help but to gasp.

No, it wasn’t because of his stunning features (even though they were gasp-worthy), it was something else. It was  that pair of eyes with the golden glint in them and that look of adoration you’ve seen somewhere before and when your eyes flickered to the closet, you realized where because the wolf wasn’t there and ohmygod BenBen was currently above you and he wasn’t just a wolf after all. You looked down at the place you hit earlier and it all clicked together when you saw the purple and yellow bruise blooming across his chest.

“I’ll pull my hand away. Will you promise me not to scream?” his voice was soft, just as the look he currently bore. Full of uncertainty, of fear, if you would accept him. You nodded curtly and with a preparing take of breath from him, he retracted his hand, his body tensing. He was still waiting for you to start screaming, and you surprised him by a soft whisper.

“BenBen?” you asked him quietly, and he looked at you with wide eyes, before chuckling.

“It’s Kris, actually,” you blushed and with a silent “oh”, you went though his state. Your cheeks reddened when you realized you were currently being smothered by a half naked man, his glorious planes of pale chest and abs disappearing into a pair of boxers, just mere centimeters above you. Kris noticed your stare.

“Sorry, I was only able to find some underwear when I heard you crying.”

“I cried?” you asked him in shock and one of his hands raised to wipe at the tear on your cheek.

“Very desperately, I must say. You almost killed me when I heard it.”  He chuckled, finally crawling off you to kneel next to you on your bed. Strangely, you felt the need to reach for him again and the way he leaned close to you, he wanted to do the same.

“Um, Kris?”  You asked, your voice still thick with sleep.


“What’s…what’s going on?” a chuckle went through him.

“In short? You saved me and I saved you.” You smiled at his explanation.

“I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” His eyes were sincere and even though you met this man only a few minutes ago, you believed him. There was something that literally pulled you to him, as if he was created for you and you for him.

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow though, because-uuh…” his explanation was cut off by a groan when you reached out and gently traced the bruise with your fingertips. His eyes closed and he arched his back a little, instinctively offering you more. Your cheeks flamed and you pulled away.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was tiny, as you looked down at the sheets.

“It’s…it’s okay.” He finally said after regaining his composure.

“It’s just you have no idea what that does to me.” The way his deep voice said that, it made you shiver all over.

“As I was saying…it’ll be a very long talk, and you need to sleep.”  He continued, already moving off your bed. Panic gripped you. You were sure you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without him there. Kris seemed to see the panic in your eyes, because he leaned down close to you, before hesitantly kissing your forehead.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be close.”  He told you, stroking your cheek with his thumb once and smiling at you, as you nodded. He turned his back to you and barely took a step before you blurted out without thinking.

“You’re too far.”  He froze in his movements and turned to face you again. He searched your face for any trace of disgust or something that told him you didn’t want him there, long enough for you to question why you burst out like that. You were about to apologize, but there he was, already easing his way under the blanket, next to you, making himself comfortable. He seemed to hesitate for a while, before taking the leap and pulling you to him. Your heart skipped a beat from his closeness.

“Better?”  Kris’ voice was right there, heat radiating from his bare body and it calmed your panicked senses almost immediately. You nodded, snuggling into his chest and closing your eyes. Your arms tightened around your own heater and he squeezed you back in assurance that he was real, and everything will be explained tomorrow.

“Go to sleep, ___. Nothing will happen to you when I’m here. I promise.”

And even though you met the man just mere minutes ago, you believed him. And with that, you fell asleep, clutching tightly at the man who first came to you in the form of a wolf.

And you haven’t sleep that good in a long time.

Belinda’s Kiss

by Morgan D. (morgandeeyue)


Shadowhunters fic. Jalec. TW: major character death, illness, graphic description of vile things, gross and questionable humor.

Summary: Jace is consumed by a mysterious illness. Alec does what he can to keep his parabatai’s mind off it.

Read it here or on AO3.


They joke about it being demon pox.

Well, it is a joke between the two of them, who know Jace hasn’t had sex with anyone other than Alec for the last fourteen years.

However, that is their most guarded secret. All most people know about Jace’s love life is that he has never married, and that in his younger days he had quite the reputation for sleeping around, not discriminating between Shadowhunters and Downworlders. So why not demons?

Alec wishes he could tell the healers the truth, so they would realize the unlikelihood of Jace catching such a vicious STD without infecting him. Granted, many of the symptoms are suspiciously similar—rapidly-spreading rash, high fever, skin sores, swollen limbs, hair loss, darkened corneas… But it has to be something else entirely.

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anonymous asked:

I don't know if anyone's ever asked you but: what do you think Dean would be like as a boyfriend? I know we've gotten little glimpses with Lisa but that, to me, doesn't really work because he admitted he didn't necessarily feel like himself. He felt he was denying a part of himself (more than "the family business") despite how much of a bond they had. So, what do you think - what would he be like (he needs some happiness after this finale D:)

omfg asldgkha okay I totally agree with you on the whole Lisa thing. It’s like he wanted it to work so badly, but it just. It wasn’t him, y’know? It was like he was forced to make a choice between a life with Lisa and Ben or the life he’d always known. And ofc he’s not gonna give up what he’d always had with his brother for something so different and uncertain. I feel like,,, idk like he wanted to want it to work. Like if he wanted it enough, it would feel right. But it never did and he couldn’t ever shake off his old life. And because of who he is and what he knows, he’d never be able to completely give it all up. That’s just not who Dean is. 

As a boyfriend, I don’t think Dean himself would completely know how to be. Because he’s never really had to be that role before. He’s had some short-lived experiences like with Cassie and Lisa, sure, but I think Dean always kinda knew in the back of his mind that those things would never last. And there was always this part of him that was holding back and denying it for himself.

If Dean were to be in a steady relationship today, I think he would be a very cautious and protective boyfriend. Not in the sense that he’d be sheltering of his partner or like paranoid or anything, but just in the sense that he would feel responsible for their wellbeing. Just as you would expect from Dean. I think it would take him a while to accept the whole give and take of a relationship, bc he’s just so used to giving without ever receiving so much as a thank you in return. But once he does, I think he would be so fucking Soft and have these little vulnerable moments in which he allows himself small pleasures…like getting a message, having them take care of him when he’s sick, just little stuff like that. 

And he would be a Cuddle Monster, I tell u what. He secretly, but no so secretly, loves shit like that. He’s a romantic at heart and would make cheesy little gestures of affection and use bad pickup lines all the time, even tho they’ve already been dating for who knows how long now. He’d prefer to stay in most nights, but also wants to treat his partner right and the way he thinks they deserve, so he’d take them to some Stiff, Uncomfortable, Fancy restaurant bc he thinks that’s what’s “right”, but after several attempts at that, they both decide it’s not exactly for them. He’d give random, little gifts now and then. Just small things that mean a lot to him and kinda peel back a whole new layer of himself. And it’s the willingness to open up that’s really the most important. 

And honestly,,, Dean would just be the softest boyfriend ever, not even caring if Sam teases him for being whipped. Because he’d give anything to make his partner feel deserving and happy. Because that’s what Dean Winchester does. He gives all of himself, believing anyone deserves his life more than he does. That’s who he is. Selfless to a fault. And you’re goddamn right he deserves some happiness after that finale. If my son doesn’t get a fucking break soon, imma riot. Can u imagine?? Man, what a concept. Dean Winchester actually getting a break for once. Groundbreaking.

magnesiumeternity  asked:

your Kevin/Aaron hcs are beautiful and i love them all. so, so much. but, speaking of shovel speeches, Abby? Bee? would they bother with it? if so, what would it be like? on a side note, yes. Aaron and Kevin bond over bitching to each other and it's beautiful and Neil has so many problems in his life, he didn't need this attack on his person.

this took so long friend im s orry,,

But yeah omg the mamas,,
Bee and Abby aren’t quite so “hurt my kid and I’ll kill you :)”,, they’re more subtle,,
“How are you doing today Aaron?” Bee asks, “anything new happening? I’ve heard you and Kevin have been spending more time together recently?” Aaron blushes and opens and closes his mouth a few times,, and goes “so anyway, how are you and Abby and coach?” and Bee just smiles,
Abby has them over for dinner one night and and she’s pouring some wine and setting the table and as she’s handing Kevin a glass, she says “I know what you two have been up to and im not trying to pry but I hope you’re being safe and using protec-” Aaron chokes on his drink and Kevin’s eyes go wide and he pauses and Abby laughs and goes “now that I have your attention :) just, please take care of each other, okay? I love you both dearly but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t bench you for the rest of the year or tell coach to push you harder at practice out of spite :)))”

And listen,, im not saying Abby and Bee aren’t the kindest women in the world,, but they have this way about them,,, where they smile sweetly and they speak softly but you can see in their eyes that they would murder for their kids. Aaron and Kevin are simultaneously filled with awe and terror.

I’m Fine (Part 4)

A/N: Part 4 of the 2nd Installment of the “I’m Real” Series: “I’m Fine.” You can read the 1st Installment by going through my masterlist! 

I’m Fine Parts: 1 2 3

Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing

Word Count: 1131

Tags: @today-only-happens-once @assbuttwritings @aesthetic-marvel-trash @hippydippygashtray @dean-the-smol-bean @growningupgeek @deansbaekaz2y5 @bitch-i-am-a-dean-girl @hunting-for-idgits @gallifreyanwerewolf @merrahonthawall @sexyvixen7 @jxackles @lean-mean-deanwinchester @cainsteaparty @darkx143 @jjsoccer11 @supernatural508 @the–gorgeous 

Dean had dressed your injuries; while he had begged you to let Cas heal your wounds, you quickly disagreed, not wanting to be more of a burden than you already felt like you were. You had agreed for Cas to heal your broken ribs but the bruises and cuts would stay. Dean gave you a clean shirt from his duffle that you could change into as well as boxers. You threw away your ratty clothes that you had worn for the past couple years, not wanting to have anything to do with them anymore. Slowly making your way out of the bathroom, you found the three boys seated around the motel room. Sam in a chair in the small kitchen, Castiel on the arm of a nearby couch and Dean on the edge of his bed. It was silent, though you could feel the anxiety radiating off of Dean, could feel the hurt and confusion come from Sam.

“Now can I ask what the hell is going on? What haven’t you told me?” Sam asked quietly, though anger slipped into his words as he glared at Dean as well as glanced at you and Cas. Dean flinched slightly. You quickly made your way towards him, lacing an arm through his that rested on his side you mustered up enough energy to send him some comfort through the bond that the two of you shared, at least what was left of it. His shoulders relaxed, he leaned in slightly towards you brows furrowed as he stared at you.

“I lied to you and Dean. Back when I was…alive. I’m Dean’s Guardian. Or was, the bond has weakened significantly since I died and especially when I, um, told Dean about who I am,” You gulped thickly, staring at the youngest Winchester.

“G-guardian? As in angel?”

“Yahtzee,” You grimaced, “Purgatory only opens portals for humans, and when I died well… let’s just say I failed my mission one too many times that I wasn’t going to be going upstairs. So I was stuck in monster hell. And when Dean was there, I helped him get out. But I couldn’t go with him. Sam I’m sorry for everything. If I had just done my job right, you wouldn’t have had to endure so much –“

“Enough.” Castiel commanded, stepping forward towards you. “That is enough, Y/N.”

“Why, brother? It’s true isn’t it?” You growled, moving away from Dean and towards the angel.

“I don’t understand, Y/N. What mission?” Sam asked, exhausted from everything that was happening. It was too much. Sam looked at his brother, noticing the heartbroken way he looked at you.

“Dean. Dean was my mission. I was supposed to protect him. The only job my Father gave me and I failed miserably. I mean the amount of times Dean has died, how much he has suffered and therefore how much you have as well. I’m sorry, Sam. I had to stay and repent for my sins. For my failures. I don’t deserve to walk amongst you two again-“

“Shut your mouth.” Dean whispered darkly, his body shooting up from the bed. Sam, Cas and you watched in shock at the Winchester, his tall stature stalked towards the wall that separated the motel door from the beds. His back was turned from you, but you could feel the anger, could feel its menacing grip on the bond. Sam slowly approached his brother, as if he were a wild animal trapped in a corner. “You had no right to make that call. To stay there. If you had really wanted to fix things, you would have come with me.”


“No! Listen to me, Y/N. I lost you once, a part of me burned the night we had to lay you to rest. And then seeing you in Purgatory, dammit, I had never felt so relieved. The selfish part of me was so happy to see you again, to have the chance to bring you back – but you stayed? All because you thought you needed to …repent? What bullshit is that?” He finally turned around, his voice gruff and harsh, though his glassy eyes full of unshed tears betrayed him. “I needed you here. Screw the mission, God or your Father or whatever the hell put you on it didn’t realize that there’s nothing to stop all the bad shit that happens to me or Sam. It’s inevitable. After hunting for all my life, I’ve accepted that. We’re Winchester’s for fucks sake. I just wanted you here, Y/N.”

“Dean, I’m sorry-“

“Stop saying you’re sorry, dammit!” He roared, his fingers yanking his hair by the roots as he paced around the room. Both Castiel and Sam watched with wide eyes, never having seen Dean so furious as well as hurt. Not since hell. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Y/N. I want you to give a damn about your life. You helped Sam and me in ways that I will never be able to repay you for, because you’re our friend, our family. Not because of some order from God or heaven. Because we care about you, and because you care about us. I want you here, Y/N. But I don’t want you if all you’re going to do is feel sorry for yourself. I get a second chance with you, please.”

You hadn’t realized how much you had been crying, not until you watched Dean grab his jacket and walk out the motel door, leaving all of you there in the silence. You could feel the bond weaken even more so, shattering your heart. You knew he was right. Dean was always right. But how could you go against the mission? Even now, being back on Earth. You were created to do so, to do God’s will.

“He’s right, Y/N. We love you. I don’t care that you didn’t tell us you were an angel or whatever. But Dean needs you now, and you need him. You need to put it all behind you.” Sam said quietly, breaking the silence before going back to his laptop and looking for another case. Castiel watched his sister try to keep herself calm, but he knew you well enough to know that you were lost. It reminded him much of when he had first met the Winchesters. How they made him doubt and question heaven.

He slowly made his towards you, gently wrapping his arms around you and leading you towards one of the beds. Helping you get underneath the covers, he stayed by your side as he watched you try to fall asleep. There wasn’t much that could be done tonight, but he prayed that everything would be better in the morning. That both you and Dean would get the chance to start anew.

I’m Alive. Installment 3 of the ‘I’m Real’ Series 

so I’m pretty known for big gestures of love on here, and I promise to do something more extravagent when I no longer feel as emotional cause it’s definitely needed. but anyways, I just want it to be known that I love @bioloyg @hypermania and @unclesteeb more than I could ever say. I’ve gotten so much love and support from them and I don’t have the fucking words for what I’m feeling currently, but please know that the bonds I’ve formed with them, how they’ve been friends and become family to me, that’s something I’m forever grateful for. you guys are incredible. if you didn’t know.

Welcome to California - Spacedogs ABO series

Welcome to California and Beyond - drabble for your reading pleasure :)

amazing art by the wonderful @theadventurouspancake

True Mates

It’s rare that Adam is still asleep when Nigel wakes up. Usually Adam serves as Nigel’s human alarm clock - nuzzling into him, climbing over him, squirming around until he can’t wait any longer for his alpha to wake up. But there are the few occasions like this, that even after a year together, Nigel finds melts his heart.

They’d had a late night - dinner out with Lynnette and Angela to celebrate the anniversary of when they got together. Adam had insisted this be from their first date. Nigel had initially wanted it to be from when they had bonded, but Adam’s heat - much like the man himself - was pretty much cycled to a firm routine and so their anniversary would have fallen during his heat, not really allowing them to celebrate it in the same way. Nigel had conceded but with the proviso that they would also celebrate their bonding privately. He’d whispered the sort of ways in which they might do that which had made Adam blush and giggle before kissing him passionately… for starters.

Nigel was mesmerised by his little omega, he’d only seen him like this in the morning light a few times, and every time it took his breath away. The dark curls falling over closed eyes, porcelain skin looking like it would turn to milk and flow away as soon as he touched it. The curve of his body as he lay not quite face down in the over stuffed pillow, with the bed sheets gathered low on his naked hips.

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sasuhinainukag  asked:

Thank you so much for answering my previous headcanons, they were lovely! I hope you don't mind me asking more headcanons! I think the Suna boys need more love, so do you have headcanons on what Gaara, Kankuro and Baki would be like as father's?

Hey x Thank you very much! x


  • Due to his isolated upbringing, Gaara isn’t always great with affection so his children shouldn’t expect many hugs or kisses. In fact, physical contact with his children can make him quite nervous as he never imagined he’d have children of his own, and this bond is so unfamiliar to him. Every time one of his kids hug him he freezes into stone and doesn’t quite know how to respond. 
  • Gaara is much better at communicating his love for his children through words and teachings. Whether his children want to be ninja or not is their decision, but he will still encourage them to follow the same philosophy as his friend Naruto, in never giving up on a dream and never going back on a word. 
  • Gaara doesn’t get to see them very often, being the Kazekage, but he likes to surprise them by sometimes picking them up from school. He just loves seeing the big smile on their face when they see their father waiting for them. He cherishes every moment he gets to spend with his children, just being in their presence makes him happy and grateful for what he has.   


  • Similar to Gaara, Kankuro isn’t the biggest fan of affection, but rather opting for more playful banter with his kids. So stuff like ruffling their hair or picking them up onto his shoulders. Kankuro would be the ‘fun’ parent, yet he still knows when to be serious. 
  • The only times Kankuro’s kids see him serious is when they are/were in danger or when they steal his face paint and use it all up by smearing it all over the house. That really gets their dad mad and usually results in them being put on the naughty step.      
  • Kankuro is naturally very protective and likes to keep a close eye on his children, even if they sometimes aren’t even aware of it. 
  • When his children were toddlers he entertained them by putting on little puppet shows, as well as teaching them how to make puppets early on in their lives.  


  • Being a stern man, Baki can come across a bit too strict sometimes, often scolding his children over small mistakes. This is because he is quite a paranoid father, who wants his children to avoid mistakes that could cost them very dearly in the future. 
  • He struggles with affection and can sometimes come across as more of a teacher then a father. This does put strain on their relationship as his children have to remind him to relax sometimes, which the very thought makes him flustered and uncomfortable. 
  • His children can always trust him and he will protect them no matter the cost. Whether its his career or his life, he would drop anything for his children if they were in danger. 

Thank you! xx

Originally posted by justgaara