how many times have i used this joke

anonymous asked:

Yeah, it was literally a mii character like, wth? I've been on tumblr for a long time and ~problematic doesn't even seem like a word anymore, people blow out of proportion the smallest things (I still remember the shitstorm after he used anxious in a tweet, I think that was the moment when I knew I couldn't take this fandom seriously) Also, I've seen people refer to Dan as "slut" or "whore" when talking about him taking nudes/trying to get Phil's attention and nobody seem to care...

*claps* YES. People have no problem calling Dan derogatory names in the name of “joking.” How many times do I see people send rude comments to Dan only to clarify it with “oh he knows we’re joking” “he understands the humor.” Okay that’s great, but now you can’t use that same sense of humor to understand that him calling a mii character a thot is probably meant to be funny? I can’t.

The anxiety thing was absolutely ridiculous. I never commented on it before because I generally don’t reply to the drama but at this point I don’t even care lol. Anxiety is an emotion as well as a disorder. You can feel “worry, nervousness or unease” without it being disorderly. There is NOTHING offensive about that. I’m so glad he defended himself that time because there was seriously nothing to apologize for.

I swear each day on here pushes me closer to leaving lol. It’s always something. They can never catch a break and it really bothers me to see this all the time.

ahhayeahsure asked:

I'm so conflicted on the whole 1D fandom. I absolutely love the music and by extension I love the boys. I love how the fandom can come together and do amazing things like raise money for good causes, now this Action 1D thing. But then there's also this part of me that absolutely loathes the almost religion-like devotion some fans have towards those boys. Like they can do no wrong. It seems a bit unhealthy. Because everyone makes mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Does this make sense?

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean… Like, I want to “slap” (do not go and hit people, I’m joking) Louis so many times, him for using W sign, him to adjusting his balls and winner in public, him flipping people off… I want to legit go to him and smack him on his head (and then teach him about stuff). I love him very much a lot, but when he’s acting like a douchebag I’m going to call him out on it. A lot of people in this fandom won’t do that for their favourites, which I can’t support. We can all love them, and yell at them “metaphorically” if they fuck up. We all do. Because we are all humans.

taylor is a precious baby she must be protected at all costs. but she is also one of the strongest people I have ever known. she takes her own feelings and turns them into the most beautiful lyrics . those lyrics go out into the world and save so many people. she interacts with us like we’re her best friends… just making some jokes online. she has taught all of us so much, and helped us through the toughest times. hopefully she knows how much we love her - each part of her, and hopefully she knows that she’s in our lives to STAY. she’s sweet, sassy, classy, sarcastic, beautiful, and she always puts others first. thank you, taylor, for inspiring me in every aspect of life. I love you.

anonymous asked:

You have to feel sorry for poor straight Louis. Every time he tries to tell the world he is straight ppl go all “sure, Jan” on him. And here he is, having done the ultimate straightest, primal-cave-man manly thing in the world- secured the survival of his DNA (or been sloppy, and didn’t wrap it up properly. We have seen his poor wrapping skills before mind), and how to ppl treat it? Like a joke!! Poor straight Louis…

I think it’s hilarious how many publications have used that pregnant Harry picture while reporting the Louis baby story

Your World Part 2 : Chapter 12

Liam’s POV:

“He’s so childish.” I say and we all laugh as we watch Niall run around like a kid.

The waiter brings us a couple of beers and wide selection of food.

“Thanks for this, Karmela. We really appreciate it.”

“My pleasure. Anything for you guys.” She says with a smile.

“Why don’t you show me around your resort?” Louis asks Karmela and I see Harry clench his jaw again. Louis better watch what he’s doing.

“How many times do I have to tell you that it’s not my resort. It’s my dad’s.” Karmela says to Louis as she punches his arm in a joking way.

“Whatever. Lets go, rich kid.” He pulls her by wrapping his arm around her neck.

“How are you holding up?” I ask Harry as I watch Niall splash around and I take a sip from my beer.

“I’m fine.” Harry says his jaw still tightened.

“You have to let go of it, man. It’s not healthy for you anymore.” I tell Harry as I take another drink.

“What do you know, Liam?!” He flips on me and I put up my arms as if to signal that I surrender.

“I’m just saying, man.”

“I know. I’m sorry” Harry tells me a couple of minutes later.

We saw Karmela and Louis walking side by side and they go under a palm tree with a trashcan on its side. They were deep in conversation.

Louis takes out a cigarette and started smoking as Karmela stood there still talking whilst Louis smoked.

“She can’t be around smokers. She can’t stand them.” Harry says under his breath.

“Oi! Merman! Lets eat!” I call out to Niall. “Louis!” I shout for him and he waves for us to go ahead. Okay, that backfired.

Niall ate like a hungry hippo and I saw Harry still staring at Louis and Karmela. They were now seated in one of the pool benches facing the view, sitting pretty close I might add.

“Come on, Harry. Eat something. You haven’t eaten the whole day.” I say to him and push a plate near his hands.

“I’m not hungry” He said and continued drinking.

“A fair warning, I finished almost everything.” Niall said to Karmela and Louis as they got to the cabana. Karmela giggled and Louis hit Niall on the head.

“Here.” Louis gave Karmela a plate and filled it with food. Something he used to do for Eleanor. Harry noticed and this time it wasn’t just his jaw that moved, he balled his hand into a fist. Relax, Louis. Don’t push it.

“Thanks.” Karmela said and she gave him a soda. They sat beside each other. To diffuse the situation I turned on the television.

We continued eating whilst we watched the local news and played music.

“Oi! That’s you!” Niall pointed to the teli and Karmela’s face was on the screen.

Harry turned off the music and took the remote from me. He unmutes the tv and the moment he did I regretted turning on that damn thing.

*Local News*

Reporter: Karmela Tan the daughter of prominent businessman Alexis Tan and businesswoman Samantha Tan

“Harry, turn it off.” I hear Karmela say but he doesn’t listen.

Reporter: Is set to be engaged to another tycoon family, The Go’s. The only heir of the Go Enterprises is set to be engaged to the eldest daughter of the Tan clan.

Everyone dropped whatever they were holding except for Louis who continued eating.

Reporter: It is said that Nicholas Go and Karmela Tan are set to have their engagement announcement and celebration next month and the wedding will be

Harry turned off the television.

Everyone was silent except for Louis’s eating.

“Congratulations?” Niall said and Harry walked out.

“Harry, I” Karmela said as she tried to grab Harry’s arm but he removed it quickly.

“Excuse me.” Karmela said to us and when she stood up Louis grabbed her hand and said

“Are you sure about this?” gazing into her eyes. What the bloody hell was this boy up to. Karmela nodded and he let go of her arm.

“Oi! What you playing at?” I ask Louis when Karmela left.

===========================================================

Have a good day! 😊 xx -Alice

mouseketeering said: Anytime anybody puts Brooklyn rage in the description/tags of a Jounochi post, a piece of my soul withers away.

The same goes Seto Kaiba or any character from Duel Monsters. You have no idea how many times someone pulled the stupid “puppies die” joke on my Kaiba pic. All because of the caption I used. (Kaiba’s Smile)

I understand completely Lencie. Trust me. mouseketeering

I just deleted the caption on that post about Shane Dawson coming out as bi because he’s an imperfect human being like the rest of us and hes trying Goddammit. It called him “the worst human being on the face of the planet” when he genuinely cares about people, and that pissed me right the hell off. I freely admit that he’s done some bad things in the past like everyone else has in their past. I once used to make jokes at bi people’s expense because I was denying I was bi.

10

This is going to be another two parter because of how many pictures I have with this player. Dainius Zubrus. Going to as many Devils games as I have you just got used to Zubie being there. He actually got used to us being there as well. Every time he would stop we’d take a picture with him and he expected us to.

He didn’t joke around with many people but he joked around with us. We even signed a picture he took with us and gave it to him. That’s how comfortable we were around Zubie. The Devils put him on unconditional waivers today and I’m just crushed. I know he hasn’t had the best last couple of seasons but you just get used to certain players just being there. I’m literally standing here at my job writing this with tears in my eyes. He’s the kind of player that you wish you had the chance to say goodbye to, to tell them you appreciate them for putting up with your insanity. I wish Zubie the very best wherever he ends up and I’ll be sure to be there to take a picture with him when he visits.

anonymous asked:

Dear best friend

I’m going to do my three closest best friends

Dear Annie, 

We have been best friends almost ten years, and those ten years have held a lot of up and downs for us. We have been with each other through so many heart breaks, and so many bad mental health periods but we have also been with each other through the majority of our good times too. We have an endless list of inside jokes, and I am still yet to meet anyone who can make me laugh as hard as you can. We don’t talk everyday or even every week at some points but we don’t need to, bc I know u still love me no matter how long we go without speaking. We are so close, that we do have our silly arguments, but then we laugh about how stupid we were a day later. I am grateful for you, and I’m pretty sure we are stuck with each other for life now, so good luck bae. I love you a lot.

From Max

Dear Holly, 

I feel like a friendship has changed a lot since when I first met you in year 8. I don’t remember it, but you tell me when we first met I ran up to you, introduced myself and offered you a handshake. This just shows to me that you are special bc from the very start I have been comfortable with you, and that’s very rare for me bc I’m normally shy af when I first meet people. We used to talk for hours on msn, and you were kinda my best internet friend who actually lived down the street. And now u are my best irl friend, and you are one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. You have helped me through a lot, and you have accepted me no matter what.The last few years I’ve also seen you grow and change as a person and it makes me very proud to see my best friend finally being able to be comfortable in herself. I’ll always be here for you, and I know you’ll always be here for me. I love u bro.

From Max

Dear Elliott,

This is probably gonna be so gay omg. It is crazy to me to think I have only known you for 7 months. I really couldn’t imagine my life without you now. I may be a bit dependent on you, but I wouldn’t change that because I love knowing I’m gonna talk to you everyday. I really value our friendship. I think it’s very unique that we connect so much as friends on what we like and how we are and then we have the whole trans thing that I think makes our friendship even stronger. I think it’s very rare to meet someone and know that they are gonna be your friend forever, but I do feel that way with you. I really love you man, in the most platonic sense. and that means more to me than romantic love, because our bro love is so much more secure. I know you’re gonna be the best man at my wedding, and I know that when we are dapper old men we’ll be going down to the local pub together and laughing about how young and queer we once were. 

From Max

10 people I want to get to know better

Tagged by the lovely damagednothing thank you!

Name: Anna

Time/Date: 9:49 July 18, 2015

Average Hours of Sleep: about 8

Last Thing I Googled: what morganite was lol

Birthday: September 26, 1999

Gender: female

Sexual Orientation: pansexual

Height: 5'8

Favorite Color: blue

One Place That Makes Me Happy: Ocean City, New Jersey

How Many Blankets I Sleep With: one

Favorite Movies: School of Rock, Back to the Future, The Breakfast Club, Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, idk I have a lot of favorite movies

Last Book I Read: Grendel

Most Used Phrases: “are you joking?”, “what the fuck”, “dude oh my god”, “no”

What I Last Said to a Family Member: “Okay bye, tell Chris I love him”

Favorite Beverage: lemonade and root beer

Favorite Food: Pizza

Last Movie I Watched: Ant Man

Dream Vacation: I could go anywhere honestly, but Arizona, Japan, and Greece would be great

Dream Wedding: on the beach

Dream Job: something in music, art, or makeup, idk

I tag aud-berry, rravenss, averagetoaster, angela45541, emo–space–princess, justinlandd, chiatarou, iamsecretlybeyonce, bearodynamics, and thewordsarecoming

…I don’t even know what to say right now, this is not how anyone wanted to end the night and this might ruin a lot of things in the future because it’s so so serious, why would someone think that comes close to a joke? No one is laughing. No one is applauding. No but this wonderful night that so many people have spent money, time and put so much work into is now ended on a very bitter note, thanks to this. True ARMYs respect all the members as human beings. BTS work so so so hard, they practically spoil us and then this. I don’t know what someone thought could be accomplished by a death threat, but you just accomplished ruining the much awaited night for a lot of wonderful people

sweaty-bird asked:

What is your brightly coloured machine tools tag for?

Firstly, thank you for asking this question because I like answering it.

The tag is for…well, not “surreal humor” per se, because I actually came up with it when I realized that I had been misusing the tag “surreal humor” for things that, while definitely humorous, were not surreal so much as “slightly odd” or “unusual juxtapositions that stop short of proper ‘surrealism’”. You’ve probably noticed that I have a number of unusual tags that I use on my blog, and many of them are for things that lack an easy single description but that I view as belonging to a cohesive category. “Humorous content ranging from the slightly unexpected to the full on bizarrely surreal” goes under “brightly colored machine tools”.

Incidentally, the words themselves come from what is pretty much my favorite joke of all time - “How many surrealists does it take to put in a lightbulb? Two - one to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”

  • Voice challenge
  • Me
Play
  1. Recite a poem.
  2. Read the first page to one of your favorite books.
  3. Read the little blurb on the back of your shampoo bottle.
  4. Do a tongue-twister.
  5. Say something in a different language.
  6. Share an anecdote.
  7. Do the rains in Spain stay mainly on the plains?
  8. Summarize the last film/TV episode you watched.
  9. Let us hear your ringtone and text message sound.
  10. Tell a joke.
  11. What did you have to eat today?
  12. Talk about something that really scares you.
  13. Talk about something that makes you happy.
  14. What is your favorite word?
  15. What is your least favorite word?
  16. What turns you on?
  17. What turns you off?
  18. What sound or noise do you love?
  19. What sound or noise do you hate?
  20. What is your favorite curse word?
  21. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
  22. What profession would you not like to do?
  23. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
  24. If you’re brave enough, singing us a little song.

Thanks for tagging me all-life-is-evil!! (:

Name: Roxanna.
Time/date: Sunday, July 12th, 6:30 PM.
Average amount of sleep: 7 hours.
Last thing I googled: offensive jokes lol.
Birthday: January 14.
Gender: Female.
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual.
Height: 5’ 4".
Favorite color: Lilac.
One place that makes me happy: my room, I suppose.
How many blankets do I sleep with: just one.
Favorite movies: I have a lot of favorite movies including The Girl Next Door (2004), Zero Day, Rampage, Jawbreaker, Drop Dead Gorgeous and Carrie.
Last book I read: still reading the stockholm noir trilogy.
Most used phrase: I say dude a lot haha
Last thing I said to a family member: honestly, I don’t remember.
Favorite beverage: Coke and blue powerade.
Favorite food: Lasagna.
Last movie I watched: watched Leprechaun last night for the first time in years.
Dream vacation: Anywhere tropical.
Dream wedding:
Dream job: anything fashion related.

I tag: luciferlaughs nbkvengeance sturmgeist89 psychoticrene fromthewindowtotheroof

Today was such a great day!

I woke up, did a little packing, had two cups of delicious coffee, then got ready for a play date with a friend of mine!

I literally spent ALL day at her house & I seriously had a blast. We have our moments where we drive each other insane, but I love how much she gets me. She doesn’t take offense to my horrible jokes & makes just as many back to me. I like having someone to hang out with that just understands my sarcasm, and I don’t have to watch what I say around her because I hate walking on egg shells around people. Annabell loves her two daughters and they all had so much fun together. We were able to have some much needed adult time while the kids had some much needed social/fun time. I’m so happy that they are moving to the same town as us, they literally move two days before we do and it’s awesome. We already made plans to make party decorations for Anna’s party, and she’s super crafty so that’s a huge relief because I’m horrible at crafts. She is also going to watch Anna next month for one of the weeks Dan is TDY, which means I only have to pay for one week of her going to the CDC during my work hours. It saves us a ton of money and relives so much stress. We are just swapping babysitting hours instead of paying each other for babysitting because it gets expensive, and what are friends for?! I’m watching her daughters for the following week while they move, I’ll watch them during my off hours so they can get their new house put together kid-free for a bit.

Now I am in bed, watching True Blood and waiting for my handsome husband to get home from work. Life is happy.

matt0044 asked:

Why do you watch something you don't like? I mean,

Because I still adore the characters. Because I still have an emotional attachment to the show in general. Because I’d be missing out on so many interfandom jokes if I didn’t. Because I’ve gained a shit ton of new followers and I’m not saying they’re all from complaining about the dub, but if the shoe fits…

Basically I’m having fun laughing about how terrible it is! The Free! fandom is hilarious, and I’m proud of the way we’ve taken something so god-awful and used it for our enjoyment. Have you seen the compilation of every time someone says Reen so far in episodes 1-3? Or hythe‘s dudebro mini fics that sparkytheandroid and octosmagiccastle read at their 50% Off Anime Expo panel? Absolute gold! And 50% Off is getting so much attention now, and its possibly my favorite thing to evolve out of Free! so I’m thrilled about that!

I am very sad that people who only watch the dub are going to have a wildly different experience than I and the rest of the sub viewers did. Because to me the dub is a joke, just another meme that people in the fandom will all jump on the bandwagon with. I wish that Funimation had done a better job on it, and I’m not too happy that they’re making money off of it, but what’s done is done. This terrible dub isn’t an isolated incident, Funimation has a habit of it. It wasn’t like they specifically singled out Free! and decided to shit on it, so I’m not going to fight them over it. 

I was angry at first, but I’ve decided to sit back, complain, and laugh and cringe all I want, and make the best out of the situation.

10 people I want to know better

I was tagged by doctor-cormiayyylmao 

 Name: Vienna (this is an alias as I don’t want people I actually know knowing my tumblr as I’m only out to one person)

Time/date: 15:47 13 July 15
Average hours of sleep: 4 or 5 on school nights, 7 or 8 on weekends/holidays
Birthday: 16 September
Gender: Non-binary
Sexual orientation: Unsure but definitely not straight
Height: Around 164cm or around 5′4″
One place that makes me happy: My bedroom, especially with wifi and food
How many blankets I sleep with: At the moment 1 but sometimes 2 when it’s especially cold 
Phrase I use the most: ‘Your mum’ (my friends and I have this on going very inappropriate sexual joke going on about our mothers) 
What I’m wearing: My pyjamas (dark blue trousers with white reindeer and evergreens on and my red ‘You are being watched’ PoI t-shirt’ with my Ravenclaw Quidditch jumper)
Last book I read: The Man Who Loved Clowns by June Rae Wood
Last movie I watched: Home
Last music I bought: Who buys music anymore? But um… Merlin Season 1 Soundtrack by Rob Lane
Last thing I googled: Katie McGrath (amazing woman and actress)
Last thing I said to a family member: “Have fun at work”
Favourite movies: currently Inside Out and Home but I’ve always loved The Prince of Egypt, The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons
Favourite beverage: Apple squash (sort of like cordial but weaker and healthier)
Favourite food: Roast dinner (does this count because technically it’s a meal…)
Favourite colour: Dark navy blue or black 
Dream vacation: Norway and Sweden
Dream wedding: Well if I ever think about having one I’ll let you know
Dream job: Probably being a bookshop owner but if not then maybe a forensic scientist 

I tag yeah-muggle-its-me, nellipusen, thatcharmandsass, samsgroves, wcndamximoffs, agentgroves, raginghufflepuff, ericaireyes, peggysmartinelli and ravenreass

One day me and two other girls were travelling with my boyfriend. Somehow the topic of periods got mentioned.

Well, my boyfriend starts making jokes about how if/when we’re married, he’ll have a separate cabin built for him, and when I’m on my period he’ll just hide away in that cabin.

No matter how many times I explained that I know exactly zero people who get violent on their periods, he wouldn’t believe it.

I never told him that all three of us girls in there were on our periods that day.