how many times do i have to do this before it becomes habit

God look at this
i’ve wanted you for three fucking years and
you’ve never wanted me at all. how many New Year’s poems am I going to write about getting over you before I actually fucking do it?
how many times am I going to fall back into old habits before old habits actually become old habits?
i’m fucking sick of missing you i don’t want to imagine what you’re doing with her it just hurts I don’t need this extra ache I have enough of it already so I’m sorry but I’m not fucking sorry because this past year is the last year I’ll miss you because
i’m never gonna want you again.
I’m never gonna fucking want you again.
—  3rd times a charm– lily rain