how long till we see it effects humans the same way

Five Minutes - [Grace/Frankie]

This is my first Grace and Frankie fic! More to come. I just love them to pieces. Here on A03.

***

Grace anxiously licked her fingers before flipping the page, scanning the same paragraph twice, then a third time, not sure she was even digesting half of what she read. She took a sip of her wine, smoothing out the wrinkles in her blue pajama pants as she sat straight up on the bed, eyes shifting to the door every few minutes without even realizing it. When she caught herself, her stomach ached, pinging with guilt and questions she couldn’t yet find the courage to answer.

She and Frankie came home from their hot air balloon ride hours ago. The car dropped them off, she thanked the driver for his services and sent him back to Nick, whom she was sure she’d hear from before too long. Frankie disappeared into her studio soon after, coming down from the thrill of the experience, it’s breathtaking views, nothing but the wind and the smell of propane to distract them from the looming tension in their lives. Nothing else seemed to matter for the hour or so they soared above the city, nothing but the fact that things didn’t have to change, not yet at least. Grace could still feel the sun on her face, the pressure of Frankie’s hand on her back as they stood together, mostly silent, trying not to think about anything other than the fact that things felt good, just the way they were, in that perfect moment.

“Hey,” Frankie’s distinctive voice cut through the silence.

Grace jumped a little, looking up to find the other woman finally standing in the doorway, wringing her hands, fidgeting furiously before shoving them in the pockets of her denim nightgown.

“Hey,” the blonde cleared her throat, speaking softly as she removed her glasses, abandoning them with her book on the nightstand. “How’d it go? Did you talk to Jacob?”

“I did,” Frankie nodded.

“And?” Grace nudged.

“I told him I had a chance to think about things from a ‘higher plane,’ though I didn’t mention the balloon ride. I knew that would make him way too jealous,” she shared. “But I did say he was right. Santa Fe sounds like the perfect place for me, in many ways. It has everything I could want from a creative and spiritual perspective. Vibrant arts scene. Vegan food trucks. Mud bathing nudist colonies.”

“Uh huh,” Grace winced at the thought. “So…you said yes then? You’ll go with him?”

“No,” Frankie answered quickly. “I said I couldn’t. Not now, not ever. So we broke up. For good.”

“Wow,” Grace swallowed, a bit stunned. She ran a hand through her hair, heart racing. “But I…I thought you loved him?”

“I do,” she sighed. “But not enough to leave all this behind. My home. My family. You.”

Grace did her best to school her features, knowing her eyes said more than she wanted them to, but she kept breathing just the same.

“And…what did he say?”

“He said I should think about what that really means.”

“Yeah,” Grace practically whispered. “What, uh…what does it mean exactly?”

“I don’t know,” Frankie turned away, dropping her eyes uncharacteristically, pacing at the foot of the bed. “That I’m happy I suppose?”

“Are you?”

“You know I am,” she told her. “Except…”

“What?” Grace waited on bated breath.

Frankie stopped moving, slowly looking up. It was so quiet, they could hear the waves crashing onto the beach from the other side of the house.

“Can I please sleep in here tonight?” she finally exploded, flopping onto the bed, grabbing hold of one of Grace’s ankles for extra effect.

“Not this again,” Grace rolled her eyes, shimmying away.

“Please? I know I’m not alone anymore, not metaphorically or even literally, but I did just break up with my boyfriend and I could use some extra human energy flowing in and around my aura right now. Please? Please, Grace.”

“Fine,” she relented, a bit too quickly.

“Oh thank you,” Frankie climbed up the length of the king sized bed, pulling the covers back, burying herself beneath them like she belonged there, like she’d done it a million times.

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Torch of Bellona (Part 5)

Originally posted by madgifs

Author: Wristic

Pairing: Ivar X Reader

Word Count: 1700

Warnings: none (This was actually supposed to be the smut chapter and the last in the series, but like, it was reaching 4k words and read mores don’t work on mobile even though I SWEAR TO GOD I’ve seen them work. I just didn’t want to be a dick to mobile readers so this is like, part 5 part 1, I’m so sorry. On the upside all the smut will be in one special, like, sanctuary for you on lonely nights.)

-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3- -Part 4- -Part 6-


The years haven’t been kind to you or Ivar, both being forced to suffer alone in your separate worlds. When the army comes and claims Northumbria, you run away to your long parted love, never looking back. 


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All That Matters

Fandom: OUaT; Rumbelle

Word Count: ~2,800

Rating: PG

Beta: @mariequitecontrarie Thank you!

AO3 link


Belle’s knees hit the ground with a painful, teeth-grinding thump. She barely registered the assault to her joints before Gideon’s cry split the air.

“Oh, sweetheart…. are you alright?” She cuddled him close, making comforting shushing sounds, before holding him far enough away to unwrap his blankets and inspect him for injury. She was vaguely aware of the others standing up around her, and called for her husband without looking up, too preoccupied with simultaneously looking over and reassuring her six-month-old. There were no visible marks on him, and the angry way his limbs thrashed around indicated that everything was still working.

He let out another ear-piercing scream and Belle winced. Nothing wrong with his lungs.

Relieved, she rewrapped him against the chill of the early-morning air, and stood up, nearly catching her foot in her layers of petticoats and long skirts. She hadn’t worn a dress like this since Camelot; it was going to take a bit of getting used to again. Looking down to inspect the rest of her outfit, she realized that her bodice laced tightly up the front, and groaned. That was going to be hell to unlace and re-lace every time Gideon needed to nurse. She’d have to ask Rumple if he could transform it into something easier.

“Rumple?” she called again, looking for him in the crowd around her. She fought the beginning of panic when she didn’t see him immediately.

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Got7 Reaction to Finding Your Weak Spot

For: Anon <3

Mark

As you two chased each other around the dorm, you both screamed at one another. 

“Mark, stop it!”

“No, come back and do the punishment!”

At the mention of the punishment, you sped up. But, it wasn’t fast enough to escape Mark. He stretched his long legs and trotted toward you from behind. He put out his arms and firmly gripped your sides, right below your rib cage. Once you felt the pressure, you collapsed to the ground, as being touched there made your knees weak. Mark stared at you, worried.

“I’m fine.” you stated before standing up. He grabbed your sides again, just to test if his thoughts were true. When you had the same reaction, he gave you a sly look because he knew how to get you now.

Originally posted by jordragon

JB

You and Jaebum had signed up for a cooking class together. Since you would be moving in with him, your best friend, soon, you decided that the both of you should learn how to cook things out side of pasta and ramyeon. You two were handed a huge bowl, plenty of ingredients and a cookbook. 

“Are you two together?” the instructor asked you.

“Oh, n-”

“Yes, newlyweds.” Jaebum lied to the woman while he placed his hand high up on your thigh. When his hand made contact, your entire body shivered and you felt your legs get weak. He looked at you and you quickly moved his hand away. He stared at you for a few more seconds before understanding the effect that had on you.

Originally posted by jieunyoung

Jackson

Jackson ran up to you with the slushies and popcorn in hand. You nodded at the man at the ticket booth as thanks and you turned to him.

“I can take those.” You took the cold drinks from him and decided that the cardboard holder had gotten in the way of holding it comfortably, so you threw it away. You two made your way to the theater and on your way there, a group of antsy kids were running around. One of the bumped into you and you slightly lost your balance. Jackson rested his hand on the small of your back, trying to secure your stance. But his hand sent jolts into your entire body and you jumped forward. 

“Ahhh, hahaha,” is all Jackson said. You knew he wouldn’t easily look past this new found information.

Originally posted by marktuon

Jr.

“Y/N, can you come here for a second? I wanna see something.”

You complied, but you had no idea what was going on. You walked into the living room and saw him with his face buried into his phone.

“It says that every human has a weak spot, do you know where yours is?”

“Hmm, no, I actually don’t.” You lied. “How about we test you first.” He nodded in agreement and bent down to fix his pant leg. But before he stood up straight, he pressed his index and middle finger into the back of your knee. You collapsed to the ground and he just stood there, laughing at you.

“I thought it would be there,” he said as he clutched his stomach and laughed.

Originally posted by yugyeomism

Youngjae

Whenever you and Youngjae greeted one another, he grabbed the side of your head and kissed your forehead. But today he put his hand under your hair and held onto the back of your head and kissed you on your nose. As he held your head, your breathing hitched and you felt the tension in your body melt away. Youngjae noticed your reaction and smiled at you.

“Are you okay?”

“Perfect, just keep doing that.”

Originally posted by swoonfinite

BamBam

You always liked to mess with him, tickling his ear, dragging your nail lightly over his skin and even nipping at the skin if his neck. He never told you, but he intended on getting back. He would subtly try to find the one stop that mad you tick, but up till now, he failed. 

“Do you want ice cream? “ He asked as he reached into the cabinet to get mugs.

“You know I do.”

He walked behind you as you took a seat and he lightly ran his fingers over the back of your neck. Your body violently shook in response and he had a look of worry before it shifted into one of realization.

“I got you!”

Originally posted by creepygenitals

Yugyeom

You were waiting for him in front of the JYP building, ready to go to lunch. You text him multiple times, asking him where he was because he was supposed to be done with practice twenty minutes ago. When you got no response on the third one, you turned around and decided to go to lunch alone. But not even five seconds later, he is jogging up to you from behind. He wrapped his arms around you from behind and he spoke into your ear closely and quietly. 

“Sorry, practice was running late again.” You whipped your head to the side, trying to escape the electrifying discomfort. “What was that?” he questioned.

“I don’t like that, it feels so weird.” You rubbed on your ear and tried to shake the feeling away.

“So, you don’t like when I do this,” he whispered with a growl.

“Ahh, no~!”

Originally posted by got7gifs

Pets not Pests: Foxes Deserve Better.

Pets not Pests: Foxes Deserve Better.

When I took on a single, three-week-old, orphaned fox kit for family friends I had no idea what I was signing up for. This is my first fox Robin [pictured below]. Like any puppy he chewed my shoelaces; peed on my bed and tried to eat my breakfast cereal. Ultimately however, he did something no puppy could have, he catapulted me into a daily battle to save one of Australia’s most hated animals.

 

Imagine for a moment waking up before work one day to be greeted by the following email:

You people are sick. Fucking clueless idiots. Hunting is humane. Kill ‘em all. 

This is just one of the many hundreds of emails I read each year in my role as Sydney Fox Rescue president. I have been called many things over the past two years ranging from:  “a short sighted greenie” to the less kind: “absolute nutter”. Photographs of dead, mutilated animals accompany many of the emails. The same animals I have taken into my heart and home, posthumously posed, bleeding and broken, beside guns and spotlights.

Let’s start at the beginning. Sydney Fox Rescue was foundered in 2012 on the principle of neutrality. That is to say we do not run political campaigns. We take foxes from veterinary clinics and we take foxes from hunters (more than you’d think). No questions asked. We respect that we are not the only solution to foxes in Australia or even necessarily the best solution. But what we can do is provide an option for foxes, as individuals, on a case-by-case basis. We desex, socialize and rehome these foxes and no fox is ever released. With this in mind I don’t think any of us quite anticipated the sheer volume of opposition our program would be met with from hunters, farmers and environmentalists alike across Australia.

The first time I encountered opposition to foxes from a friend was in 2012. At the time, my first fox Robin was racing around my home, a five-week-old bundle of teeth and claws busy stealing the hearts of everyone he met. When I informed friends that I had been unable to place him with a wildlife park and was going to try and keep him myself one particular friend went out of their way to rebuke me and shame me for my decision.

We meet two primary forms of opposition at our rescue. I call them “pro-fox” and “anti-fox”. This friend’s argument was distinctly “pro-fox”. Pro-fox-ers believe that foxes cannot possibly adapt to life in captivity. Indeed, this is a concern we have to consider on a day-to-day basis, and not one we take lightly. However I firmly believe that most foxes, socialized with humans from a young age can live long; contented lives in captivity. I imagine most fox owners will tell you the same. In no way am I suggesting that foxes will ever become your house-hold moggy, however with no possibility of release [Illegal in New South Wales], socializing these animals to live with humans is their best option. We often wish everyone could spend just 5 minutes in our shoes and see the side to these animals we see as their carers and their friends. There’s nothing that compares with a fox wagging its tail and squealing in sheer joy just at the site of you.

But it is rarely the pro-fox-ers who present the most vicious opposition. They are not the type of people to call at 2am and tell you about the fox they have just killed. There’s nothing like gun nuts that know your phone number to keep you awake at night. With this in mind let’s talk about the anti-fox-ers. Anti-fox-ers lay claim to a whole host of justifications for the resentment they bare for our program. Some of these reasons include:

  • Foxes will escape
  • Foxes kill: natives; chickens; sheep; pocket pets… etc.
  • Foxes are inherently: cruel; ruthless; vicious… etc.

 

In terms of escaping foxes, this is an easy one. We have very stringent procedures to reduce the potential of this happening and to manage such a situation should it arise. Potential owners are screened and install secure custom enclosures, all foxes are desexed, fitted with ID tags and many owners have double gates, GPS or radio trackers and even cameras.  Newsflash: home means food, family and comfort for rescue foxes, many of them have lived their whole lives in captivity and have neither the desire nor the skills to return to the wild.

The initial point seems irrelevant, our foxes live in captivity… they are not killing anything right? However there is a bigger picture here, which relates to the second point. Foxes have been so demonized by the media and popular culture in Australia that to the anti-fox-ers the possibility of allowing them into our homes seems impossible, deviant and abhorrent. Furthermore they cannot both see these animals as pets in domestic homes and continue to kill their wild counterparts. It is this type of cognitive dissonance that I believe under-pins many anti-fox-ers actions and beliefs.

By bringing foxes into our homes and showing people photographs like these [see below] we are visibly changing the culture around foxes in Australia. The foxes we show, cuddled up on the couch or playing at local dog parks are creating a stark contrast to the skulking animals in popular culture that sneak into chicken coops in the night or maim new born lambs.  Does this mean these things don’t happen? Of course not, foxes are first and foremost wild animals. They are an introduced species that has adapted (remarkably well) to the Australian landscape. Foxes are undoubtedly a threat to both natives and livestock but so to some extent are cats, dogs, dingoes and heavy industry. Eating and hunting to survive, to feed your family, does not make you into the soulless, coldblooded killer popular culture would have us believe.

 

The type of killing reserved for foxes in Australia is unique. I grew up rural Victoria, where there has been a bounty on foxes for as long as I can remember. The effectiveness of hunting as a form of pest management is debatable. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. What I am here to talk about is the cruelty, torture and prolonged suffering I’ve seen inflicted on foxes. I’m here to talk about the first ever animal to die in my arms. I’m here to speak out.

Whether there is anyway to humanely kill an animal is debatable, but certainly a bullet at blank point range could be considered a more humane method than most. This is not however the only method, legal or in wide spread use, for the control and eradication of foxes.

The first foxes I ever remember seeing as a child were on the route to my primary school. Tailless (for the bounty), they hung lifeless from fences and trees, nailed up and riddled with flies. To this day I struggle to grasp the human need to display something we have killed. I have been told it is to deter other foxes, however as intelligent as foxes might be, my time with them tells me this this is simply not true. These bodies are trophies. Because there is nothing that says “I’m a man” like killing a 5kg animal, caught in a spot light, with a firearm, from 100 feet away… Except perhaps doing so with a crossbow. Unlike a firearm, when an animal is shot with a bow (legal in all but a handful of states), it may take several minutes to die, suffering severe pain from shock, tissue and organ damage. Non-fatal wounds are common and may result in a prolonged death over days and weeks from blood poisoning and infection.  This is hardly the worst of it… It was not uncommon for people to swerve to hit foxes on the road where I grew up; before cutting the tails from the stunned (and sometimes still breathing) animals, again for the bounty. Tell me is this humane pest control?

Perhaps one of the worst ways to die as a fox is by dog hunting. Torn apart, piece-by-piece by crushing jaws and tearing teeth. This is how Swiper died.

We received a call early one morning about a fox that had been attacked by a litter of pig-dog puppies. The fox was alive but had severe injuries. When we arrived we found Swiper.  Barely 2kg in weight, Swiper lay motionless in a small cage in the back of a Holden Utility. He had a cluster of flies around him and at first his breathing was too shallow to be noticeable. I thought he must be dead. Unfortunately he was not. As I lifted him from the cage the first thing I noticed was the smell. His wound was at least a day old and had begun to fester. There is no eloquent way to describe it: he had been ring barked. There was no skin from his shoulder to his hindquarters; instead dark red, raw muscle was exposed. His gums were white. His tongue was blue. I bundled him in fleece and dribbled water down his throat, but try as I might on the journey to the vet, Swiper died in my arms. I remember pounding my fists on the dashboard, pressing my lips to his and trying to breath air into his tiny, lifeless lungs. But he was gone.

 What I haven’t told you is that Swiper was not a wild fox when he sustained his injuries. Swiper was trapped on a property and kept for weeks in a laundry. Eventually his captor’s own dogs broke into the small cage he lived in and tore him apart. They left him, cold and alone till morning before phoning us. However, because Swiper was a fox no amount of phone calls to the RSPCA will ever see anyone prosecuted for his death. He died because of his species and his death has gone unpunished for the same reason.  

Every day foxes like Swiper are killed and forgotten because some 200 years ago our ancestors brought them here to hunt and they adapted. Swiper has a name and that makes him standout. Just like our rescue foxes stand out. But really he is just one fox, one story, among a 1000… Among a 100,000. He is just another casualty in a senseless war. But by telling you his story I hope I’ve made you think about the injustice of it all. The injustice that one species should be stood apart and demonized in the way that foxes are in this country. If my work at Sydney Fox Rescue has taught me anything in the past two years it is this: foxes are not soulless, ruthless, killers. People are. Foxes are just animals like any other animals. They are the under-dogs in this country and I will fight for them till the day I die.

Foxes deserve better. 

Mystery of the W.D Gaster and his involvement with Sans

Well hello. I recently came up with an idea about a theory, then continued to analyze the whole Gaster topic with my girlfriend, and since I haven’t seen similar theory anywhere, I’m here to tell you something. Just gonna say that this is only my opinion, and we can’t know anything for sure, till Toby confirmes or denies it. So, let’s get started. And yeah … this is gonna be a long one.

When I was replaying True Pacifist for the fifth time (Sans must hate me for all these resets … but I never kill anyone, so there’s that), I started noticing lots of things that I haven’t payed full attention to in previous playthroughs, especially in True Lab. What cought my eyes the most were the amalgamates. Alphys described them as they “melted together”, and I realized that we’ve only seen amalgamites of monsters that didn’t have human-like structure (I mean like Papyrus and Sans have, or Undyne has). And then, it crossed my mind. Windings and Aster are two fonts.

When we look at Gaster, we can see that he has some similarities with other amalgamates, his melting structure, or holes in his hands, similar to a hole in Endogeny’s face. Another thing that supports this theory is Entry no.17. When you listen to it, it’s like two voices talking over each other, main being the one who speaks in wingdings. Everyone assumes that it sounds so creepy because it was Gaster after he ‘fell into his own creation’ (as described by one of his followers), but he talks about his experiment, and I doubt that after being split into particles floating through the time and space, he’d be able to perform any experiments. (And yes, I checked the soundtrack, for possibility that this was some very creepy background music, but it couldn’t be found anywhere, even though we can find Gaster’s theme)

When you encounter Gasters followers, they talk about him as a W.D. Gaster, which brings me to think that he was turned into amalgamate before he was erased from the world. Of course, there is a very little possibility that poeple in the kingdom knew what has happened to him, his followers could be the only one (and are the only one who remember him because when he ‘fell into his own creation’, they were probably also in the True Lab or close to him, so they ended up the same)

How did he continue to function after becoming an amalgamate? Well, there are two options. First being that we’ve never seen an amalgamate made only out of two people, so it could be possible that with not many people involved, you could still be able to somehow keep your minds and consiousness separate and sort of clear. Second option being the DT Extraction machine we’ve seen in True Lab. Aster and Windings could’ve realized what was happening to them, after some experiment failed, and determination accidentaly got into their bodies, and use it on themselves, not to be able to stop the proces, but at least minimalize the effects. But we don’t know how the DT extraction machine works, so we can only guess.

So, that’s the fist part, W.D. Gaster is an amalgamate made out of Wingdings and Aster, skeletons who previously experimented with determination. But where is Sans in all of this?

Well, let’s start with the secret room under his house.

There are three very interesting things. First being this photo. I have reason to believe that amongst those people were Wingdings and Aster. Yes, there was a lots of other people, but those could be other lab assistants, or maybe those who later showed up as “Gaster’s followers”, that doesn’t seem too important. I think that this indicates that Sans knew them before they became an amalgamate.

Next one, blueprints. There is a theory going around for a long time, that these were written by Gaster, and I agree. And then, there is the broken machine under the sheet. Well, I think that that is a time machine. Let me explain.

I think that Sans was working with Windings and Aster, and even continued so after they melted together. But then, they started to develop something very different, something that was to satisfy their scientific curiosity. Let’s look at the first entry we saw after Frisk turned power back on in True Lab.

ENTRY NUMBER 8: I’ve chosen a candidate. I haven’t told ASGORE yet, because I want to surprise him with it… In the center of his garden, there’s something special. The first golden flower, that grew before all the others. The flower from the outside world. It appeared just before the queen left. I wonder… What happens when something without a SOUL gains the will to live?

I don’t think this entry was written by Alphys. Main reason being the fact, that her reaction to seeing Toriel and Asgore standing next to each other at the end of Pacifist Route, was this.

It is possible, that she didn’t knew the queen personaly or didn’t know what she looked like, even if it was her, who wrote Entry no.8, but there is absolutely no possibility, that she knew about the queen, and reacted this way when meeting her for the first time.

You could say that it was her because she freaked out after Papyrus said that a tiny flower told him to gather everyone next to the barrier, but that could simply mean that she has read this entry. Also, Alphys usually blames herself for everything she did wrong, and don’t you think that after realizing that it’s better to tell the truth, she would also come clean about creating Flowey, if she created him?

So yes, I believe that this entry was not written by Alphys, but either by Aster or Wingdings. And if you ask why isn’t it written in wingdings or aster, but in a normal font, let me give you this.

This shows that when comunicating electronicly, your own personal font doesn’t matter.

So, that brings us to Entry no.18. We can see it right after the entry no.8 in True Lab. It simply says this.

ENTRY NUMBER 18: the flower’s gone.

I have a reason to believe that this was written by Sans. Why, you ask? Well, it wasn’t Alphys, and it wasn’t Gaster. Why not Gaster? Because we got entry no.17.

ENTRY NUMBER SEVENTEEN

DARK DARKER YET DARKER
THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING
THE SHADOWS CUTTING DEEPER
PHOTON READINGS NEGATIVE
THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT
SEEMS
VERY
VERY
INTERESTING

WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK?“

That was written by Gaster after he became an amalgamate, maybe that’s why it dissapeared, because he wrote it while being considered ‘anomaly’, and after he fell into time and space, everything from this part of his life just went away with him. But what was he talking about?

I think he was talking about Flowey. When you take a look at this entry, talking about possible darkess of Flowey’s soul, it makes sense. Also the “what do you two think” could be Wingding talking to Aster and Sans, given the fact that they managed to keep their minds separate, it would only make sense to also adress Aster, even though they were melted together. And of course, there’s the thing that the next entry says “the flowers gone”.

But what then? I think that Gaster, being anomaly himself, started noticing that Flowey was manipulating time, reseting. He told Sans, and I think he wanted to do something with it, but Gaster didn’t see Flowey that much of a threat as he did. So he took some of Wingdings blueprints, those we can see in the secret room, and started to build a time machine himself, hoping to “out-reset” Flowey, to make him stop. But you need Determination to be able to reset.

To explain this, let’s have a look at fight with Undyne The Undying. We can clearly see that she has a determination, but she wasn’t experimented on. How is this possible? Well, it turns out, that by incredible power of will, monsters can produce their own determination within their body and soul. When you beat Undyne, you know what happens?

She starts to MELT. Seems familiar? It looks like a monster with determination side effect to me. We never see something similar in the game, no monster ever dies like this, except for her. Except for monster with determination.

But she only melts when you deal her the final blow. I think that means that otherwise, if she lived, she would be able to survive while having her own determination. And Sans was determined to stop Flowey. Determined to the point when he developed his own determination, which made him able to time travel, with a help of a machine he build. You could say that Sans didn’t melt when he died at the end of Genocide route, but remember that he died off-screen.

Through the game, we’ve been reminded that whoever has the strongest determination has a control of the timeline. And I believe that Sans was never able to out-determine Flowey. So he came to Gaster to help. He got him to inject some human determination into his body, in hope that with this, he could beat Flowey and get full control of the timeline, to stop the resets. He didn’t melt because his body got used to his own determination, but that doesn’t mean that accepting human determination would be easy. Maybe that’s why he has only 1HP.

Now we’re getting to Gasters unfortunate demise. Let’s take a look at this.

It doesn’t say that he fell into a Core. He build it, yes, but why would falling into a Core cause him being split across the time and space? Yes, we see some weird energy under the Core but I believe that is something to produce electricity in the whole underground, and yes, I think that falling into that would be bad, but would it really have these consequences? Well there is something that would certainly work that way. A time mashine.

Yes, Gaster wanted to create his own time machine. Maybe for a scientific curiosity, maybe he had other reasons, but it didn’t work out. He probably knew that him being and amalgamate is going to be a problem, so he used the energy under the Core to power the machine, knowing that he’ll need somthing incredibly stronger that Sans needed, but it still failed. He attempted the time travel, and ended up being shattered across time and space.

When Sans found out what has happened, and that he was the only one who remembered him, due to him also being a time traveler, he destroyed his own time machine.

This is a part of a Sans fight in genocide route, when he’s talking about “consuming timelines over and over”. The way he said it, I believe that he speaks from his own experience.

And then, soon after this… Frisk came. And rest, we already know.

So, I hope you enjoyed my theory, I know it was a long one, thank you for reading, if you ahve something to say, that supports or denies this, go ahead, I’ll be glad to discuss the topic.

Liam: Video Game Date

This one has been half done for so long. But it just wasn’t working, so I shuffled the paragraphs etc and I was suddenly super into it. Basically, this past three days I’ve been super busy doing nothing. I tried to write some Scott stuff but it’s so hard and I wasn’t letting myself write anything else and yeah. 


“Mason!” You whined, dragging his name out and making him wince. You hid the devious smile that wanted to run across your face at the reaction and instead held his hand in both of yours. “We need to do this. For the greater good. For all kind, man, woman, natural and supernatural.”

“Your argument is so weak; I don’t understand how you think it’s going to work.” He sighed and you could see his walls tumbling, you almost had him.

“Just… Imagine with me. Imagine your utopia, and this is a part of it. It’s there, isn’t it?” Mason rolled his eyes and you grinned triumphantly. “It is there. And we can make that happen, it’s like the first step to a better earth. An earth for our children.”

“You’re making this a lot bigger than it is.” He groaned but he was already nodding so you chose to ignore the comment.


“Alright, are you ready?”

You looked down at the object in your hands dubiously but nodded all the same, glancing at Mason for but a moment before the noise started and your heart rate increased.

You struck out, knife scraping against flesh as you grunted. Then your opponent hit back and you yelped, the hits suddenly raining down. Within seconds, you were gasping irregularly, you could practically see the life draining out of you, red tinting your vision.

Then you died.

“What the hell! Why is this so difficult!” You snapped, wanting to throw the controller but also not wanting to be unreasonable because Mason had that effect on you. The be reasonable, it can’t be that bad effect. It was probably a side effect of his charming nature and the fact that out of all the pack members, you and he were the most similar. Human and delighted by Bretts everything.

“You just need to practice, and I mean… If you can’t beat me, you’ll never beat Liam.” He smirked and you growled, hitting the replay button with more force than necessary.

“This time, less frantic. You know where the buttons are and you know which ones work which way. You can still press them wildly but have a little finesse with the order.” He coached and you inhaled, nodding seriously. No way would you knock the Mr Miyagi persona if it got you what you wanted.

Your brow furrowed as your thumb jabbed down on the buttons, roughly recreating combos you remembered doing accidentally before. You watched Masons character swing their broadsword out, just as your own sword swung down, the magic whatevers on it helping the weapon slice, cutting him in half from shoulder to hip.

“Oh. My. Good Lord.” You breathed, exultation filling you, your expression likely wild. You turned your head to Mason slowly, the rest of your body facing the screen, and grinned. “I just killed you.”

You doubted the reality, but in your head, it felt like a very paranormal horror movie moment.

He only rolled his eyes, stating “You’ve only done it once. You’re still not good enough yet.”

But you weren’t listening. You were looking at screen as your Troll Guy danced around.

“I cut you in half!” You laughed, clicking the rematch button gleefully, confidence flooding your veins.


It was hours later when the pair of you finally finished. You had a raging headache, a crick in your neck and your eyes were on fire. Mason led you to the front door, slumping against the frame as he gave you a weak smile.

“Alright. You should be able to beat him at least once.” Mason sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly and you nodded.

“Thank you, my dearest, I shall retire now.” You mumbled, giving him a lordly nod before turning and stumbling down his porch stairs.

“See you tomorrow!” He called after you and you raised a hand, your eyes already half closed as you autopilot walked the few streets home.


Liams lips pressed against yours, arms closing you in, your back bounded by the cold metal of the lockers. Your hands curl into his fluffly hair, fingers sifting the duckling soft strands.

“Oh god! It’s like watching Dora and Diego make out, please, stop!” Stiles complains, hands flinging out in your general direction.

Following the orders, you slid out from between Liam and the lockers, pressing a hand against his chest when he tried to pull you back.

“Bosses orders buddy, sorry.” You grinned, leaning against his shoulder companionably, fingers entwining.

“He’s trying to destroy all the fun, like making out against lockers so that no one flirts with you anymore.” He said sullenly and you whacked him on the chest with the back of your hand.

“He sort of has a point. I mean, I would’ve been super cut if I saw you making out with someone back when I had a crush on you.” You laugh, and Liam’s chest puffs out slightly. Leaning back slightly, he gave you a goofy look.

“Aw babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing.” He grinned and you gasped before bursting out laughing.

“We’re dating.” You grinned back and he laughed.

“Still.” Your head turned to Stiles’ joyfully.

“He’s learning.” You whispered and Stiles made a gagging sound but you ignored him, still caught up in the moment.

“You guys are disgusting.” Stiles muttered, noticing that neither of you were going to say anything, before turning and heading down the hallway, his hand rising and falling in his laziest follow me gesture yet.

“Don’t knock it till you try it.” You called at his retreating back before picking up the pace and pulling Liam along after you.

“You’re not going to study again tonight, are you?” He groaned, coming even with you and nudging your hip with his, almost making you trip.

“You guys are so gross; I can’t even look at you.” Mason muttered, stepping up next to Stiles as the group of you headed out into the sunshine. Way to take all the fun out of it.

“We aren’t studying again.” You announced, taking his hands and pulling him into a jerky dance that he tried to resist, instead walking backwards and leading you after Mason and Stiles. You kept the moves up, making him flush slightly and grin, coming to a stop at the lunch tables where the group waited.

“You two need to stop!” Stiles complained from the seat he’d just taken by Lydia, who was watching you and Liam like an old person who’s remembering their younger days with fondness and you groaned.

“We are enjoying our youth in the middle of a crisis, Stiles!” You growled back, kicking a foot high and wild in his general direction to the amusement of the others. Saying no more as you pulled Liam into the seats beside Isaac.

“Enjoying your youth or embarrassing all of us, except Liam, who has no shame when it comes to you.” Stiles grouched and you rolled your eyes.

“Get your own relationship, party pooper.” You grouched back, giving him a sly look that he returned gleefully.

“Okay, let’s move on.” Scott muttered, definitely tired of the honeymoon phase you and Liam somehow couldn’t escape. You leant against the blue eyed boys warmth, giving Isaac a dopey smile that he shook his head at.

“You bring dishonour on the family.” He mouthed at you and you grinned happily.

“I can live with dishonour.” You mouthed back with a smirk and he gave you an affectionate smile.


“What if…” You began, sitting up slightly and pushing Liam flat so you could climb aboard and assert the moment. When you didn’t immediately talk, caught up in just looking at him, he squeezed your thigh.

“Yes?”

“What if we played your games tonight?” You mumbled, gesturing to the stack of disc cases by the TV vaguely. Not that you were feeling vague, you knew exactly which two you could win at. Two in case he said pick between these three and only one was in the group.

“You really want to?” He said curiously, but you could see the spark. He was very interested. Maybe he was even going to do the whole “teach her how to do it while our bodies touch all over”.

“I mean, yeah why not?” You gave him a small smile and he sat up so that you were face to face.

“You’re fantastic.” He mumbled, eyes earnest and content on yours as he gave you a slow and tender kiss. It didn’t last long though, him pulling away and giving you a wide mischievous grin. “No more kissing. Prepare to meet your doom!”

You giggled as he wriggled out from under you, half diving onto the carpet before the TV and grabbing at the cases then hesitating. He gave you a soft look over his shoulder and you grinned upside down at him.

“Do you want to pick?” He smiled and you rolled over, crawling until you’d plopped down next to him and scanned the titles.

“This one.” You said definitely, pulling out the one that of the two you were best at and handing it over. He didn’t hesitate, barely looking at the cover before sliding the disk into the console and settling against the bed.

You grabbed your controller, knee walking until you were right next to him and collapsing against his side, making him grunt an oof. Not that it stopped him from leaning into you just as much.


“Say it!” You commanded at your prone and blinking boyfriend from where you knelt beside him. “You have to say it!”

“Y/N is more powerful than anything ever, including the supernatural, the British army back in the day and small pox crossed with the black plague.” He groaned out and you cackled evilly, hands rising from where you’d been poking and tickling him. “How did you beat me?” His voice came out awe filled and a little afraid.

You gave him a secretive smile and he rolled his eyes, pulling you down so you landed half on him, half on the carpet.

“I’d say I love you, but I’ve loved you for ages, half the time as a friend. I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He murmured against your cheek and you sighed contentedly.

“Same.” You said softly, trying to hide a grin and he pulled back, giving you a disturbed and wounded look before catching on your expression. For a moment, things seemed to slow down. You watched the emotions combine onto his face to coalesce into the look of a cat about to pounce. Less than a second later he rolled onto you, his head burying itself in the crook of your neck, his mouth opening and his teeth biting and gnawing onto you playfully and you shrieked a laugh.

“Noooo!” You howled, as Liam pulled back laughing and grinning, his eyes practically hearts as they looked at you. “I’ve been cursed! Oh what heartbreak, for I am forever bound to the whims of the moon, forced to turn beastly at it’s filled peak! Oh lycanthropy, my new friend, shall we never part?”

Liam watched you, snorting at your finish and you gave him a goofy look.

“I’m in love with you too, Dog Boy.” You said softly, the words heavily weighted as he leant down and kissed you gently, both of you wearing smiles you couldn’t hide.


Yay! Gooey and goofy and gross. I’m really going to try and do another Scott one, because Scotts numbers on the list are so low but it’s mega hard. Also, this and the Derek one coming took/are taking a while because I need to get the lay out of their houses/rooms/lofts right. Willy nilly is not my thing, also where is his bathroom/kitchen/everything other than a bed and single couch??? Don’t answer that, I’m working on it.

Welcome To Eichen [ 5sos x Teen Wolf ]

Request: No

Song: None

Warning(s): None

A/N: Omg Demon!5sos. So I really wanted to write this, also the reader is a siren, so she’s human but can sing the siren’s song and has hidden bird like wings. Hope you like this imagine. Also I might make this into a series, so I need to think of a storyline / plot [ Also the edit is mines, but the gifs aren’t ]

Notes: (H/c) = Hair color // (E/c) = Eye color

Y/n’s Pov

I sit in my cell, starring out the big, glass window. I’ve been in Eichen for who knows how long, nothing to do but just sit and stare. I was brought to Eichen at a young age, apparently I was a siren, hell even I didn’t know, only my shit parents did.

I was walking around the Beacon Hills, I was 12 at the time, and all of a sudden I blacked out and I’m here. Nothing really important. So here I stay contained in this cell. Almost everyone didn’t notice I was gone, hell my parents don’t care, they think I’m a freak because I was the only siren in the family. They only visited me once just to tell me I was a siren.

So I was pretty lonely, no one ever came down this hall, no one came to visit. I occasionally saw a boy and girl go visit the weird dude with a hole in his forehead. But they never came back. Once I saw these three guys with masks come, I heard screaming but then nothing. It was like they vanished. They never came back either. No one ever comes, only workers with other patients 

So here I am, still at Eichen House after 5 years of my life. Now I’m 17, and maybe I’m stronger. I knew there were werewolves in Beacon Hills, I just never encountered one. So after 5 years of nothing, I see a worker walk by with four guys following behind them. One of them looked my way, my (h/c) covering part of my face.

I see all four guys get into the same cell, I assume they were all related somehow. “Welcome to Eichen.” I say plainly. They were in the cell across from mines and this was a new feeling for me, actually meeting people. “So why are you here?” One of them asks, his voice is music to my ears. “I might have to ask you the same thing.” I say, my (e/c) meeting his blue ones.

He gives me a smirk, “well darling, you asked.” he says before he blinks, his eyes turning pure black. “So what are you?” The green eyed one asked me. “You have to be in Eichen for something.” The brown eyed one says. I give them a small smile. I move my hair behind my ear, “um, I’m a siren.” I say.

I see their eyes fill with surprise. “Well I think you know what we are.” The hazel eyed one assumes. “Yep, demons. I’m Y/n by the way.” The hazel eyed boy gives me a big smile. They all introduce themselves. Calum Hood, Michael Clifford, Ashton Irwin and Luke Hemmings. I told them about myself, how you couldn’t escape Eichen, and anything really.

“You guys are the first people I’ve talked to in five years. It gets lonely here, no one ever comes to visit. No one really cares.” I say sitting down on my bed. I put my head in my hands. I don’t hear a response and I just sigh. I lay down onto my bed and stare at the ceiling.

I start to drift off but I was interrupted by someone entering my room cell thing. I don’t even know or care anymore. I am greeted by a Eichen nurse, having a shot in her hand. They came everyday, giving me food and giving me my medicine to make sure I can’t sing to people till they die and escape, thus is why they give me a shot with some strange liquid in it.

I felt the pain of the needle pierce into my skin and I groan softly in pain. Then the side effects start to take over and I start to feel drowsy. And then all I see is darkness.


( Original Demon Edit [It’s better with the music] : https://youtu.be/I4dj4l5wlnQ )

Tell me if you want a part 2! I really liked this imagine! Request here

Fairy Tail Chapter 514 Review

Here’s my review of chapter 514 dragon seed. So we begin with a cover page…

Okay first off I love this cover page. Not because of Irene but because after weeks of cover pages that look like shots from glamour magazines

It’s about time to have one that’s a change of pace. Also “Forbidden Past” well it’s less forbidden and more it was lost to history. Nothing in the flash back indicates this is a tale that will reveal some taboo

So we start the chapter off taking place 400 years ago in the country of Dragnov where the dragon of virtue, Belserion has arrived. He comes with news that dragons in the western continent are eating humans.

Now as you may recall the Alverez empire hails from the west and Fairy Tail the series has been taking place here in the eastern continent.

So the dragon wants to speak with the queen

Okay so later in the chapter it’s brought up that Belserion (the dragon) owes his life to Irene’s predecessor. Which could possibly be mother or prehaps other dragon ruler seeing as how she has the last name Belserion, it could me she was orphaned and see took the name in homage to Belserion. I mean there was once a time people thought “Dragneel” was just a name Natsu made up in honor of Igneel (Dragon and Igneel) but then that raises a question if it wasn’t someone related to Irene then why is Irene so important to him? I guess you could argue it was the previous ruler of Dragons but then how does the monarchy work if a human is a dragon king/queen?

So dragon’s in the east were able to advance this far because coexistence, while the east are just a bunch of wild beasts. Now that actually makes sense as we saw with dragon’s like Zirconis and how he saw humans s nothing more than food. So there being dragon’s who wanted to live with humans has obviously been talked about and was the big driving force of the Dragon King Festival.

Oh hey look the dragon king festival.

Okay so Irene for being 400 years old looks totally young, More on this later. So Erza last chapter said she didn’t care if Irene was her mom, so why isn’t she just running up and stabbing her while she’s monologuing. Also what does this have to do with Wendy? Wendy may be a dragon slayer but she didn’t become one because of the festival but because Acnologia.

Also now I’m really confused. She said previously that she was queen of dragons but if there were many countries that had dragon and humans living together then how does she rule all over them? Is Dragnov just some capital? It would’ve made more sense is if Irene said last chapter “My name is Irene Belserion and I was once the queen of Dragnov, the lost country of dragons” but then I guess it wouldn’t be as dramatic as Queen of Dragons.

So we see Irene develop the Enchantment magic she’s shown off till now. But even with it the East dragons are no match for the west as well there are dragons in the east who were against coexisting and fighting their own kind. This is probably the fear tat Belserion had if the influence of the west made it over to the east, then the dragons ay start gain more a foothold and usurp the humans.

Belserion Knows the fight isn’t going their way but Irene now wishes to get involved but Belserion states a human army couldn’t stand up to even one dragon.

Hey guess what we now have an answer for how does a human teach learn dragon slaying magic. While not stated, It seems Irene came up with the idea of using the enchantment power they found a way for humans to gain dragon magic.

Umm not really Irene. Yes, you’re the mother of dragon slaying magic but it’s not like you personally used your power and gave everyone this power. Also Cobra and Laxus are artificial dragon slayers. I guess we now finally have an answer for dragon slayer lacrima, that you could enchant on to it.

Also what an amazing revelation I’m so glad Natsu and Gajeel were not hear about the woman responsible for your powers. Yeah if I could go on a tangent talk about missed opportunity. Why did team Natsu have to split up? Because Gray and Natsu were injured. Well Wendy’s a healer hell she has more direct healing abilities than Porylusica who uses treatments while Wendy is just plain healing force. The dynamic with team Natsu should be how they change as a team from the start to the finish and Natsu and Erza have known each other for a really long time both before this story and in it, and they really don’t get to develop bonds above Erza sees Natsu has more strength and potential in him than what he sees in himself and now we have both Erza’s mom and dragons which, while Wendy and Erza have a sisterly relationship and that this could effect it, could really put a spin on the Natsu and Erza’s relationship. I mean, why?  Why did Natsu have to leave the field when we could’ve just had him stay here and learn all about this along side someone he’s know since volume 3?

Oh of course. This was totally more important. Natsu and Lucy, not interacting while he’s conscious and taking the opportunity to talk about things like how he almost killed Dimaria because of how he was afraid of Lucy getting hurt or how he was willing to kill Gray for her, stuff that would develop their relationship but rather we have unconscious in plot convenience land while Lucy gets naked for the 4TH time this arc. Though, props to Hiro for actually for having it be logical with the hay and having a blanket as insulators and not just having a naked Lucy on top of him.

Yeah I wasn’t lying about this being plot convenience land. As for Anna, my guess is she didn’t know Irene personally and more heard about her since as Anna and Zeref in the west it makes sense they only get second hand knowledge. But this whole thing is stupid. This spirit guide who was once Zeref could’ve implied that Anna told Zeref but from the dialogue this spirit guide is just Natsu’s sub conscious trying to jog his memories that have fade away due o the dragon soul and time travel thing. So does that mean Natsu was told by Anna about this? We know that if she made the Scarf they had some relationship. But Isn’t this such a totally much better way of Natsu learning the origin’s of dragon slayers by having it be off hand remarks by a confusing guide that makes no sense, instead of being present by the side of two of team mates one of whom a dragon slayer who’s also learning all this.

Also it’s brought up that all this is happening is so Natsu knows why he’ll die. We all know the cause it’s cause he’s END, and remember Zeref damaged the book of END meaning a demon can’t live without it’s book.

So Back to Irene where she’s talking about how with Dragon slaying magic it was looking up for the East but things had draw backs.

Yep this scene just answered two questions.The first being why dragon slayers have motion sickness. And the other, dragon transformation and how it occurs naturally. Now, we’ve heard from Igneel and even seen with Acnologia the whole point of the magic ‘Dragon Soul’ was to create antibodies to stop them from becoming dragons. This also is why Irene looks so young.

Post Chapter follow up and it’s gonna be a long one: Never has my opinion of a chapter changed this much in one day. This chapter was one I wanted to love mainly because we’re getting development on a spriggan and it isn’t totally useless like Brandish’s. Ever since the timeskip the quality of FT has declined with the only chapter of 10/10 worth being ‘Memoirs’ a flash back and development chapter for Zeref. Why that was a 10/10 was because it not only developed a character, progressed the plot, left off suspense, but also answered a lot of questions. This chapter tries to do the same. While it does move the plot forward more than the pace it was currently at, it still raises more questions than answers.The biggest and most glaring is Acnologia. Acnologia is a character that we saw interact with Irene and also has the motivation of wants to kill all dragon slayers. Acnologia fought on the human side, on the East side. learning dragon slaying magic then at the end going rogue and killing a bunch of dragon’s. So if Irene was the one who was queen of dragon’s in the East then how come Acnologia didn’t recognize her? Well holding this against the chapter isn’t really fair as both, this backstory isn’t over and we don’t know Acnologia’s backstory in full either. This chapter is a glaring flaw with a series that’s week to week, we can’t get a full explanation in 1 chapter, we need more time, but that means we put faith in an author who may execute it poorly. That’s why retrospects of series work much more, you have hindsight if this’ll all work out or not.

There are other questions raised like the hierarchy of dragon’s, but that is just pointless semantics at this point. If Hiro does turn out to have an explanation then that be great. As for Irene and living for 400 years well when i first heard this 400 years thing I assume she crossed the eclipse gate but nope she lived through it. I said I’d touch on the fact she looks the same and yeah It’s pretty much because she’s a dragon slayer. That’s all well and good but she was pregnant with Erza. So why is Erza only 20 while Irene is 400? It could be because Erza actually died as Irene thought she did and prehaps this whole “I am you, you are me” thing may mean Erza isn’t the same. That’s once again stretching as with this week to week series I have to trust Hiro can write an explanation. As for Acnologia not noticing the scent of Irene as a dragon slayer well I don’t think it’s out of Irene’s capability to enchant her scent, I mean, we see August has magic specifically to affect moving on a GPS. As for Erza A lot of people say their going to be pissed that Erza’s “Half dragon” but honestly the retcon is annoying but would all the FT fandom really want to have the explanation “she’s Erza” for the rest of the series.

As for Natsu, yeah I already expressed what a let down his situation is both story and character wise. This “heart” is totally confusing and trying to untangle it is a chore and ultimately pointless because We all know that the reason he may die is because he’s a demon connected to the book of END he’s dying because Zeref shot a whole in it. If this turns out this possible death is dragon seed nonsense then that shits on everything Igneel did. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dragon force comes from that seed as if it is the humanized way of having all that potential energy without becoming a dragon.

This chapter is one I think will be reevaluated after 5 chapters, like Natsu punching out the war god. It raises questions it hopefully will answer and by the end of the series it my be seen as a great moment for plot.

Final Verdict: 6.5/10

  • For the questions it raises it still manages to have some answers and actually progress the plot forward more than in the last 10 chapters of this arc
  • The world building is nice however, it’s sad when world building is in a nation that only exist in flash back
  • The amount of missed opportunities hurts and the plot convenience world still is stupid
Today, the heart

Three months ago I tried killing myself. I wish there were a more ambiguous way to phrase this to myself or anybody else, but there isn’t.  No euphemism can be umbrella enough to shield me from the onslaught of my own mental monsoon.I tried to end my life because I was tired. That is what I kept repeating like glossolalia even when I was saved - I am tired, let me go. I am tired. That is what I believed in that feral trance - I was moving elsewhere, to another beginning. It wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction or sudden, backfired tangent of psychosis - it was just a curtain pull on a long and spiritually exhausting 20 some years of being dealt the most inexplicably arcane cards by whichever hand that served as ventriloquist to my fate. Fate was always an absurd spiel in my eyes. I am a social scientist, my cognition is designed to rescind the colloquial joo joo of destiny et al, but here I was thoroughly defeated in the throes of the wheel of fortune that was treating me like a prisoner decreed to some form of medieval torture. So, I decided to lavish enough violence on myself and silence the metronome wheezing inside my ribcage.

No, it wasn’t sudden, it wasn’t without a considerable battle with myself, angling for every resource available to prevent this self-destruction; my own le diable a quatre. In due course I realised that there are a lot of reservoirs available to balm this famine, this complete starvation of the soul and each person, each helpline did its best to harbour my broken ship but it was almost that everything someone said about the positivity of life, I felt more and more determined to end my own. It didn’t help to remind me that my mother would be devastated at seeing my dead body or that I had so much potential to be a tour de force. It came to a point where the more I was informed of my great innate ability for survival, the more I wanted to avoid the person who said it. No one understood that I wasn’t capable of assessing my worth in the infinite realm of a future me when the present, current me could not stop staring at every fan solely with the intention of calculating if it could heft my body weight. Everyone said, you will get better tomorrow. No one said,you are enough today.

Social consciousness has secured the bidding of suicide as morally criminal but unfortunately those who proselytize don’t know that at the moment of contemplating a blade to the wrist or wetting your throat for a vial of multi-colored pilled, no one is capable of principled decision-making. Much as I loathe to reference DFW in a post about suicide, the starkest reasoning for it is in fact by him -

“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”

Depression has been my most faithful bedmate for as long as I can remember. We are the commonest of trigger warnings, says a friend and group therapy companion. The first time I read this paragraph, I felt like someone has slowly entered a knife through my jugular - all that was unspoken inside of me was bleeding from a thick, blackish red mouth of the wound. I have felt like a walking wound since I was a child. Most of my childhood was a heavy-accented slur. I have a thinly veiled recollection of abuse; sometimes there are auditory hallucinations, sometimes my spine is a scroll of cold shivers imagining the dogged, cutthroat hand emerging from the dark like an optical illusion. Somehow  I have survived my childhood and this in turn makes me distrust the ideal of survival because I am covered in the scars of survival. It depends on what you see when you look at a scar - a place where the harm ended itself or a place where the healing began. But either ways, you are still standing in the shadow of hurt, and sometimes I don’t want to be healed, I want to be undone of the hurt. You would understand the difference if you lived with the same guilt as I do towards my own body.

When I was a child, I desperately wanted to get cancer. As revolting as it sounds, I had watched a girl in my class get leukemia and she was moved to an oncology specialising hospital. Her father would always be by her side when we visited her and I somehow deduced that if I too suffered from something life-threatening, maybe my father would come and take me away from the homemade hell that was running through me. I didn’t get cancer, the classmate eventually died & my father never really came for me. But I somehow latched onto the eager hands of a deathwish that seemed more accepting of me than any adult around me.

When I self harm/ed, I graduated very quickly from razors to my own fists. Cutting wasn’t painful enough so I proceeded to choking. I would hit myself till I was unconscious and it was surprising how so little of it registered with anyone around me. Or maybe they knew but decided not to understand it. If the ostrich buries its head in the sand and you know the drill. I don’t think anyone can damage us quite the way we can do it to ourselves. God may or may not have been created in our image but violence is - it sits down for breakfast with us, it comes to the movies with us, it rocks our chair to sleep, and finally it handed me my nylon rope.

Every time I made a more institutionalized attempt to fix this scale of alienation, I felt more abandoned. The most debilitating part comes after you survive because everything in suicide help is poised for prevention but hardly for post-survival. So you weathered the earthquake, but what do you do with a decade worth of after-shocks? No one can spell that out with a trustworthy clarity.

I don’t speak for a tribe, nor do I particularly enjoy transforming myself into the foghorn of any mouthpiece so I want to stray from the compulsive nomenclature, the cloaking, the closeting of an illness that is always in sharp disagreement with my life impulses. I can label it mental difference, I can typecast it as neurodivergence but none of it can effectively help my desire to drown myself in a dingy bathtub while everyone outside the room is celebrating my new book or my new degree. I don’t know what words should I spool so they cal thread themselves into each other to form a net wide enough to catch the blind trapeze artist my mind transforms into during these hours.

One of the hardest things is to travel back in time and suddenly encounter a moment of realisation where some grave violation of my sense of self occurred and I was so convinced of my worthlessness, I became complicit in that act of assault towards me. At 20 a boyfriend tried to rape me and I had no memory of this till a recent therapy session. Maybe because I am conditioned to think of rape as a very evident scream, a sort of “obvious” violence whereas the incident was far more slyly controlled, insidious as its composed mastermind. I also admitted to myself that I almost convinced myself that I was deserving of this aggression because for so long my depression had emptied me into an effigy to the extent that I stopped viewing myself as a human being anymore. 

That is how raw it gets. It digs its teeth into your eyes and you can’t see who you are anymore. There is nothing uplifting I can end this with except to say that - Is there a way to find what comes after survival? How do you survive survival? Is there a way to tell us not about what it will be but what it is now? People want to help and it is a sharp paradox, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I know they meant well when they said - “hey I too feel sad sometimes” and all I wanted to say was - I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel anything. Don’t you see that is the reason I want to end?

But all I can say now is - persevere, self. There is a beautiful somewhere. You are just about reaching.

let's overthink plants  in 'About a Boy'

WARNING: spoilers (duh).

There are a few details I noticed in the last episode that I can’t stop thinking about. The main mysterious events bringing the brothers to town all went the same way: mysterious man appearing in front of the victim, a flash of light, then the victim disappeared and all that was left was clothes and some sort of herb powder on them.

All the explanations along the way made sense to me, until I saw the article about that herb - yarrow (Achillea millefolium) - on Sam’s laptop. Then I was a bit like… okay, since when does yarrow have yellow flowers? It’s usually white, sometimes with a pink hue, and there are some garden species that are red, but I couldn’t find any yellow ones when I tried. 

Later, when Dean and Sam were sneaking into that witch’s house, there was a long dramatic zoom onto some tansy (Tancetum vulgare) growing nearby, and I was confused even more. Tansy actually HAS yellow flowers, and leaves kind of similar to those of yarrow, but they are definitely two very different plants - here’s yarrow:

and here’s tansy (definitely not yarrow):

Did the research really fail that much? Or more likely, why did someone change the information on purpose? Because that whole Professor Farqus article is copied from Wikipedia (oh come on, it’s readable, of course someone would have noticed this), so whoever prepared this, they kind of must have seen the proper information, and the exact picture from Wikipedia [on the left] looks like it has been photoshopped [screencap from the show on the right] to make the flowers yellow:

And, by the way - both tansy and yarrow have a fresh, green, bitter smell, kind of like absinthium, but none of them smells like “flowery-flowers”. Even more mess. It might all be mistakes, or random changes, but if it is not, then there’s the question - why would somebody fiddle with this so much and try to mix both of these plants in?


You see, the herbs here have some fun medical use. Tansy repels parasites, and has also been used to end an unwanted pregnancy and bring on menstrual bleeding. Yarrow, on the other hand, has been long known for its blood-clotting effects and therefore used to treat minor wounds, abrasions and burns, and is also known as bad man’s plaything, devil’s nettle, thousand seal, soldier’s woundwort, and seven year’s love. 

And if we look at Dean’s current state, and at how the plant was used in a spell that returned him to his Mark-of-Cain-free younger body (and soul, apparently), every single one of these names seems a little bit too meaningful. Most of the common names of the plant relate to bleeding, to something it can stop and heal. With this rule applied to other names, bad man & devil ones are pretty obvious. Then there’s the thousand seal - sounds like something very old and very permanent, burned where it belongs since forever and for forever. And the Mark would be almost like that, but it kind of lacks stability; it’s not a scar, it’s a wound still bleeding, turning Dean from a hunter to a stone-cold killer, making him more of a murderer than a soldier fighthing a good fight - hence the soldier’s woundwort. And even his drinking problem - now, as he is like a fourteen year old, there’s seven years till he can drink again, remember what Sam said? Hell of a detox. Tansy’s anti-parasite properties are a nice addition to this all. 

And if I’m reading too much into this, then well, how about a little more too much - tansy essential oil (made of Tanacetum annuum, though, not the most common Tanacetum vulgare) is of a beautiful shade of blue. Darker and much more concentrated than angel’s Grace in a vial, but my mind still wants to see the connection, and we have already seen a fallen (=darker) angel’s powers help revert the effects of Mark of Cain on Dean.

Finally, there’s some additional meaning to what Dean did in the end of the episode. To save people, he decided to come back to his older self, the one affected by the Mark. He burned the witch and also burned the hex bag, which probably contained the herbs. Made it impossible to use the spell again, but what I’m thinking about is - incense. It’s not really medical use, but we’re talking the supernatural here and as far as I know, if you want their magic to work, then burning the herbs is one of the most popular ways to go. This is used for protection, divination and purification of a place or person. And the whole idea of a spell is based on concentrated will of the one who wants to perform it, and balancing the offering and the effect. 

When Dean accepted the Mark, he basically sacrificed his humanity to be able to kill Abbadon; the magic worked then. (Kind of like tansy works: you’ll get rid of parasites, but it’s also toxic and you’re probably gonna feel that later. Also, killed worms release toxins of their own.) And now his main goal is getting rid of the Mark, cleansing himself, but he is not going to let other humans be killed to achieve this. We’ve just seen his peace of mind, his chance to be normal again, given up in order to save others; he burned the monster, didn’t let anything more bad happen to Tina, and she got a fresh start that she actually wanted.

There is good coming out of Dean’s actions; the Mark’s still there, but this was already an act of self-sacrifice (which is the Winchester way, as we know, and Dean is a Winchester and it’s his strength, as Charlie had reminded in 10x11). And there is no more powerful offering than this. Maybe it’s the first step, one of those that were supposed to cost Dean dearly, according to Metatron. This thing has to go, then burn it off. Smite me, throw me into the fucking Sun. I know there’s all this river and source yet unexplained symbolism, but I feel all of this - it’s going to end in fire somehow.

anonymous asked:

Just an opinion : I don't think Clarke is just falling for Lexa, I think she loves her not consciously. She seeks her help, her lessons. Moreover, we can't deny the attraction, an important factor for love. Clarke is someone who is not in harmony with her feelings when she feels the time isn't ok (for Clarke's high moral that means her people are at war and Finn died) and now that all the conditions are provided, it is going to be interesting to see which paths she chooses to follow...

YES! Clarke cares for Lexa without even realizing it. “It’s because I need you…god forbid one of your generals becomes Commander.” You can’t tell me that this is what ran though her mind when she turned back and saved Lexa, picking her off the floor. Then when she stayed and shot at the Pauna when Lexa told her to leave her. “No way!!!” *cough* “I can’t lose you too” *cough*

Lexa provides Clarke with emotional support and tries to lessen Clarke’s burdens by teaching her lessons that Lexa has learned the hard way. Both are young leaders  that have been thrust into leadership positions during times of war. Lexa sees herself in Clarke. “You’re doing what I did when I first took command.” Even her line “What they do not know is that your suffering will be worse, what you did here tonight will haunt you till the end of your days.” Just like Costia’s death still haunts her. “You’re still haunted by Costia.” 

Lexa is the ONLY one that will understand her, especially after what she has done. Lexa won’t judge her for it. “This is war Clarke, people die.” “We do what we must to survive, the enemy does the same. It’s not personal.” Lexa shows her love for Clarke in many ways, giving Clarke these lessons are one of the ways. She tries to prepare Clarke. Prepare her to cope with the harsh choices she will have to make being a leader. “To lead well you must make hard choices.” She also gives Clarke these lessons to hopefully keep her safe. 

“Clarke is someone who is not in harmony with her feelings when she feels the time isn’t right” AMEN!! That is why it is Wicken scene after the Clexa kiss is an integral part of showing this, it is used to draw parallels between how each couple and person navigates their feelings. The main part of the Wicken scene was to show how Raven and Wick acted on impluse while Clarke and Lexa stopped. 

Clarke stops herself from getting completely lost in Lexa – in their moment of REAL HUMAN CONNECTION. It isn’t something that is JUST physical, it is more than that. They see into each other’s souls. They both see someone that won’t judge them due to the harsh decisions that they must make. They understand each other without having to explain it. Their connection is real.  

Clarke stops the kiss, pulling herself out of the moment….having to keep her eyes shut and shake her head while saying “I’m sorry.” She lost herself in Lexa’s lips she found solace in them. SHE WANTS nothing more than to continue the kiss. But, she stopped herself. Not only for herself but also for Lexa and their possible future together. It is not fair to Lexa to start something with her when she is still morning the loss of someone she loved – someone that she also killed. Sticking the knife into Finn’s chest, she also cut her own open. Lexa is slowly healing that wound.  She respects and cares for Lexa too much to continue things, when she is not fully ‘there’.  

She tells Lexa, “I’m not ready to be with anyone” –she sees Lexa stiffen, afraid that she made a mistake by kissing Clarke. Clarke sees this and quickly adds, “Not yet.” Then Lexa’s face changes and a sense of relief. And what does she do? She supports Clarke and lets her know she understands. She understands more than most, she lost someone she loved and knows the effect it can have. The effect is ten fold when you are responsible for that person’s death – dead because they loved you and you loved them. “He did it for me” “Because she was mine”. Lexa will give Clarke all the time she needs, and won’t pressure her. She loves her too much to do this. She is in it for the long haul. “You should come with me to the Capital” 

A sense of relief also sweeps over Clarke as Lexa nods in understanding. Clarke looks at Lexa with even more admiration. 

Clarke wants Lexa to know that she WANTS this but is not ready. Clarke looks down at Lexa’s lips telling her basically with her eyes, “Thank you for understanding, I want this, I don’t regret it, I’m just not ready.” omg. i really want to kiss you again. 

This moment between Clarke and Lexa is followed by the Wicken scene, which both Raven and Wick knew that it was too soon after Finn’s death – but they slept together anyways. Wick: Uh, probably not a good idea Raven: Shut up, where going to war. [Later] Wick: You kind of, ahem, shut down on me there. What’s up? Raven: What? Nothing. Wick: [Sigh] Right. This was too much. 

This scene is important to show the Clexa relationship of mutual understanding and level of maturity – being able to think past the heat of the moment. They have more responsibilities and can’t afford to rush into things. Additionally, Clarke blames herself for Bellamy destroying the radio. She allowed herself to be romantically distracted with Finn, she wasn’t about to make that same mistake. This was Clarke choosing her head over her heart.

LET me point out also the importance of Wicks line: “If you want to do this, I’m in. But I’m not gonna play games.” If Clarke would have continued things with Lexa, then revealed later that she wasn’t ready for anything, Lexa would also have this same feeling of being used. Clarke knows that Lexa doesn’t open herself up to people. Her confessing and caring for Clarke is a big step for her. Clarke is protective of Lexa in this way. She wants Lexa to continue to open herself up to her. Clarke wants Lexa to believe that life is about more than just surviving…turning Lexa’s reply from “Maybe we do” to “We do”. She doesn’t want Lexa to block her out. Clarke knows Lexa wants this and she is ‘in’, Clarke however is not ready…she won’t “play games” with Lexa’s heart. When Clarke decides she is ready, she will give Lexa her complete heart, soul, and body. 

[gif credit]

anonymous asked:

Tom fan here. I heard from a former employee that behind the scenes Taylor is cruel to her staff. And the NDA. They have to br quiet, yet she can write songs ridiculing them? I'm not being confrontational, just would like an honest answer plz.

I think at this point is well know that everyone says things about Taylor and we don’t know for sure if they’re saying the true or if it’s just bullshit.

So I stick to facts: Everybody who meets Taylor and I mean EVERYBODY, usually after they meet her all they have to say are great things about her. And all of them agree on how kind, center and down to earth she is.  

Now, when we talk about her as a boss, Zane Lowe made her one of the best interviews anyone has made to Taylor till today,  (If you wanna know more about taylor I highly recommend you to watch it)

They talked about the pressure of being a boss at such a young age and how she manage to be on charge of something as big as her World Tour, she says:

No one likes someone who screams at people, just as a general rule. You actually lose power when you scream at people. It’s just as easy to get something done by using an even tone of voice.”

Swift’s crew put on 85 concerts in 221 days on the “1989” tour. She said the key to keeping things running efficiently is treating everyone respectfully.

There are going to be stressful situations. There are going to be things that aren’t done the way you want them to, or by the time you want them done. But there’s no use in ruining someone’s day. And it also just isn’t as effective.” (x)

I think that the fact that she has pretty much the same staff since she started says a lot about her and the way she treats people who works for her. Band, dancers, producers, management team, security team, all of them have been with her from the start, with just small changes.

Take people like Paul Sidoti and Amos Heller, for instance, with her since day one:

Or Caitlin Evanson her former fiddle player, she was part of the band until the Red Tour. She always has the nicest things about Taylor

(x)

Just last December she took her entire band and crew to vacations in Hamilton Beach – Australia. She literally paid a vacation trip to 125 people.

And after 10 years on tour, I have never heard of someone saying they stopped working for her because of her bad attitude or something.

About the NDA? The staff maybe has one, idrk. Like I always joke about it, but her bodyguards must know A LOT, like they’re always with her, so I’m sure those kind of agreements happen. And that doesn’t happens with Taylor only, I’m sure a lot of celebrities do that.

And about a NDA to her exes? I don’t really think that’s actually true.

Like, she has said several occasions that boys she has dated with can write songs about her if they want too. See at 5:21 here

Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Harry Styles they all have written songs about Taylor. So I’m pretty sure that’s a lie.

This was long af, sorry. It’s just that there’s a lot about Taylor that we, as fans, know about, but that mainstream media is too busy talking about how she is a “serial dater”  instead of focusing on things that really matter. Taylor is an amazing human being, and she’s who she is nowadays because, despite her fame and success, she has remain the same to her fans and to the people who works for her and I wish more people would know that.

Anyway, I talk too much, bye.

I mean, just LOOK at those eyes. They’re like PAINTINGS.  …which is cool, because they actually are paintings in a way :D


In principle photography their eyes started something like this:

External image


and in post production they went to something like this:

External image


How’d they do it?

[absolutely crazy numbers of photos behind the cut. you have been warned.]

Keep reading

ALDNOAH ZERO SEASON 2 FIRST IMPRESSIONS (AND ALSO A DEFENSE OF SLAINE TROYARD)

-Effectively everything that happened in the finale of last season was rendered completely pointless. I actually thought the producers were being very bold in killing 3 main characters. It made me look forward to the start of this second season. But then they do such a massive asspull cop-out. Okay, maybe if one of the three survived I’ll be fine with it. Maybe two I can swallow. But all fucking three? Jesus.

I see a lot of people saying that people can survive from a headshot and pulling out statistics but I think they are missing the point. This show has multiple times, “killed off” a major character at the end of an episode simply to create a cliffhanger as a cheap way of generating interest in the show. It does nothing to the development of the characters, or the advancement of the plot. They waste time explaining (aka pulling something out of their ass) how the character survived and then we’re back to square one.

When a character dies, I want to be thinking about stuff like “how does this impact the other characters?”, “what is the overall ramifications on the plot?”. I don’t want to be thinking about shit like “how can the producers pull one out of their ass this time?” or think about stupid shit like “bullet trajectories, how much blood loss, aldnoah black magic etc." 

I don’t mind if they did this sort of thing once in the entire series. But when you do it over and over, it completely loses its impact. (Sort of like how Akame ga Kill overdid their for-real character deaths.) Simply put, the writers had no balls to carry through with their decision. They wrote themselves into a corner and took the easy way out. I personally it would have been very intriguing for the show to break the same old formula and make the focus on Slaine as the sole main character, but no, apparently the writers didn’t think so.

-The Terran cast is so boring. Essentially, from the early episodes of the first season till now, they have not developed one bit. I honestly can’t remember any of their names. The stupid date joke constantly made on the bridge was not even funny the first time, and even if it was, they have been overdoing it. And turning up for duty wearing what you want because the official military attire wasn’t cute enough. Oh fuck off.

-Rayet. I don’t know if the show intends for us to root and show sympathy for Rayet. She’s nothing but a hypocrite. She intended to commit an act of terrorism to spark a massive war that would result in the deaths of billions. Then when she and her family got betrayed she got butthurt and turned against the Versians. What a fucker.

-Inaho. I have no idea why some people are so glad to see him alive. I can’t relate to him a single bit. Still the same emotionless fucker he was. One of the least interesting MCs I’ve seen. 

-I hate this "monster of the week” scenario. Kataphrakt shows up. With some random power. The orbital knight commanding it is always a cardboard villain, cocky and stupid as hell. Somehow the professional military are even more stupid and end up being cannon fodder. Oh no! The terrans are losing! Then OP gary stu Inaho shows up and pulls something out of his ass and wins. At the start of the first season I actually bothered to listen to the explanations on how he outwitted the Versians. Now I just tune off and roll my eyes. 

-At the end of the first season, the United Earth headquarters was effectively heavy devastated by Saazbaum’s landing castle. Humanity was on the verge of defeat. How the heck did they survive for over a year, and in fact now, they seem to be doing better than ever (at least the Jap faction)!? The only person who was capable of taking out a Kataphrakt, gary stu Inaho was out of action recovering from his headshot.

-There is some random new princess that there was absolutely zero mention of in season one. Another example of the writers pulling a quick one to cover up plot holes. I hope they give her some real characterisation and development. Speaking of which, how the heck did Saazbaum explain how Asseylum is still alive? Isn’t the entire premise of the war on Earth Asseylum’s death!?

-We are in the middle of a total war where the inhabitants of the earth are fighting for their very survival and they show us a bunch of girls relaxing on the beach. I mean, there are enough shows entirely dedicated to fanservice already out there, can this show just cling on to the tiny shred of seriousness it has left?

So why don’t I drop the show? Because Slaine.

It’s terrible how many people hate Slaine. I think he’s the most human, most relatable character in the show. Every step of the way he makes his decisions based on his emotions and every step of the way it turns out to be a huge mistake and he just fucks himself over even more. But isn’t that what it means to be human? Unlike a certain character who shows little to no emotions and is somehow always making perfect decisions (*cough* *Inaho* *cough*)

I always disliked Inaho and liked Slaine from the start. But that scene in the first season where Slaine was being tortured while Inaho has happily watching seagulls with the princess made my blood boil. And then from that point on, I fucking loved Slaine. Do I fully support his decisions and their consequences? No. But I can understand why he does what he does and he’s by far the most interesting character.

Every single decision he has made was for Asseylum. I bet the whole reason for him turning to the Versian side this episode was to save Princess Asseylum. Rationally looking, both sides have done great injustices to him, he has no overwhelming reason for choosing one side over the other. I think in the spur of the moment, when Asseylum was dying, he had to give her immediate medical attention. I don’t think he could have turned to the humans; how is he going to explain how he is in possession of a Vers Kataphrakt, how is he going to explain why he shot Inaho? So Saazbaum and the Vers Empire was who he turned to for help. Also, after he probably has some sort of affinity for Saazbaum considering he saved him from torture and Slaine probably sympathizes with his ideals. Add on to that Saazbaum was one of the few Versians who treated him with decency.

And it paid off. As long as Saazbaum could continue his war on Earth he doesn’t need the princess dead. Saazbaum gains a military asset in Slaine. The new random princess seems to have some sort of affection for Slaine so it benefits Saazbaum to have him around her. I think Slaine is just playing along to guarantee Asseylum’s safety. He is in a position of power he would never have gotten with the Terrans or with any other Versian. Their ideals don’t 100% align but as long as they get what they want from each other it’s a working relationship.

Slaine definitely has not gone batshit crazy unlike how so many people claim. Siding with Saazbaum was the best course of action he could have taken in retrospect. People giving him shit because of how he talks to coma-Asseylum are so stupid. Oh come on, plenty of people in real life do that to their loved ones in a coma. Doctors encourage it. Patients who have been in a coma and come out of it have reported that they could hear everything while in their unconscious condition. So cut him some slack man. 

Slaine is not evil. Okay he killed the terrans in the mechas. But well what was he supposed to do? They were shooting at him. War is war. Kill or be killed. Just look at how he treats his manservant. It is really touching. You would think that after being treated like shit as a servant of the Vers orbital knights he might do the same to those below him but no! Probably because of his experience of being treated like shit that he would never ever do the same to those under him. Also look at how he treats the new random (fake-Asseylum) princess. She’s not his Asseylum, he was no reason to really care about her, yet he still teaches her about the Earth, he still shows concern about her that that does beyond Saazbaum’s “you pulled off a perfect imitation of Asseylum”. If you look back on the show you’ll see that he would respond in kind to whoever that treats him decently with kindness.

I really love these sort of characters. Not someone who is perfect, not someone who is overpowered, not someone who never makes mistakes. But someone who goes through so much shit and still retains his humanity and would do anything for the one he holds dear.

Slaine is the real badass of this show. I’m not rooting for any side except for Slaine to be happy. Whatever the hell the producers do to the show, he will forever and always be the hero to me.

So that’s it, rant over. I am a proud member of the Slaine Troyard Defense Squad. I’ll defend him to the death.

(image source: http://www.zerochan.net/1742132)

#Imagine

[Requested]

Your POV: 

Serendipity (noun)

The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. 

Up till then “serendipity” had only been a regular vocabulary word for me. I never really thought it would happen to me. But serendipity did happen. In such a way that I could have never expected it. Not in a million years. Not ever. 

It happened out of the blue. You sometimes think that some things can’t ever change, but they do. And they catch you so much by surprise that you’re rendered speechless and you’re just trying to comprehend what just happened and how in the world it could have happend. Well, I guess you could say that that’s what happened to me.

I entered school that morning in a haste. I had woken up late and due to that I did everything later than I should have. I had also skipped breakfast and my stomach decided that it had the right to complain about the lack of food. 

So you could see how I wasn’t too happy to see one particular person that morning. I was rushing toward my locker when I spotted him from the corner of my eye. Please don’t talk to me, I prayed to myself as I walked toward my locker. I was in such a hurry to get my books out that I dropped one on the ground. 

I cursed under my breath as I bent down to pick it up. A pair of strong hands dived down, however, and picked up my Calculus book before I could. I stood up tall only to come face to face with the school’s hottest and most popular guy, Jack Gilinsky. 

Every girl in school was head over heels in love with Jack Gilinsky. Nobody could really blame them. Jack Gilinsky was hot. But unfortunately he’d let it get to his head and he was in some sort of phase where he thought that he was the only guy in existence and that he could get any girl he laid eyes on and decided he liked. Including me. And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I didn’t feel particularly in the mood to talk to Jack Gilinsky that morning. 

It was bad enough that I was already late and frustrated about being late. It would have been like adding oil to fire talking to Jack. He took every chance he had to flirt with me. Whenever I would walk down the hall he would call out some lame remark that was meant to impress me. He would violently flirt with me, thinking that in some universe I would fall at his feet like every other girl. All my friends teased me about it. I was Gilinsky’s new target and they all knew it. But I didn’t feel like dealing with Gilinsky. He could take his Oh-I’m-the-Point-Guard-Girls-Are-In-Love-With-Me-Fall-At-My-Feet-I-Am-So-Hot-Bow-Down-Down-To-Me attitude and swallow it, because I wasn’t interested. 

“Here,” he said, handing me my book. He was actually being nice for once. That got me confused. 

“Thanks.” I said, still not being able to understand his sudden change of attitude. 

“Maybe as a thank you, you could let me make out with you.” he said, winking at me flirtatiously. 

Oh, nope. Stupid of me to actually think that Jack Gilinsky could actually be a decent human being for once and not use the chance to annoy me. 

“Oh, and here I thought there was an actual human being under that whole narcissistic jerk exterior of yours. It turns out that there’s an even bigger narcissist jerk under the first one.” I spat and he only smirked as a reponse. That was his signature move. The coquettish smirk. That was the move that made girls fall at his feet so easily. 

He had used it on me a thousand times except that I didn’t have the same effect on me that it did on other girls. It only managed to annoy me, while other girls laughed uncontrollably and I’m pretty sure some of them were close to fainting. 

“Oh, come on, (Y/N),” he said, coming closer to me. I leaned against the locker to avoid him coming any closer, but that’s when I realized I was pretty much stuck. I couldn’t go further back. “We’ve been playing this game for far too long. You know you want me.” he came so close to me that I could actually feel his breath tickling me on the skin of my neck. He knew what he was doing. I can bet on it that he knew exactly what he was doing. And I knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to weaken my defences or whatever he thought was the reason that I kept ignoring him. It wasn’t the first time that he’d attempted doing something like this, but this time he was going too far. He’d annoyed me all year long. 

“You’ve got to admit that you have feelings for me.” he whispered in my ear and I felt my cheeks flush a deep scarlet color. I was sure that people were watching. “Why don’t you just admit them to yourself and then we can move this along, huh?” he said. And that’s what did it for me. 

I pushed him as hard as I could. Unfortunately, him being the school Basketball team’s Point Guard, he was much stronger than me, so I only managed to push him a few centimeters away from me. But that was good enough. It at least gave me some breathing space. And it was a reasonable distance unlike the one we’d shared before. 

“Gilinsky, I’m warning you only once,” I started and my voice sounded harsh and scary even to my ears. “If you ever try something like that again I promise you that you will regret it. You can flaunt your narcissistic jerk stupid athletic Point Guard attitude elsewhere, but just keep it as far away as possible from me!” And with that I stormed away. Not my best speech, I will admit. But in my defense I was seething. I imagine that everyone in the hall was staring at me at that moment, but I didn’t care the least bit. I wanted to get away from Jack as far as possible. Little did I know that that little uncomfortable moment would be the start of something beautiful. 

It was a month after that that it happened. Jack and I hadn’t talked for a whole month. He had left me alone and hadn’t tried to flirt with me even once. I wasn’t sure if I should be surprised or relieved most of the time. I’m not sure I was either one, to be honest. I was aware that I had been harsh, but I didn’t think I had been that harsh. 

It was as if something out of my control had brought me to the Basketball game that night. Call it Fate, call it Destiny…. Call it Serendipity. 

I usually never came to Basketball games, but this time I’d done it as a favor. One of my closest friends had something with Jack Johnson, who happened to be Gilinsky’s best friend and also on the Basketball team. Nobody really knew what they had together. Whether it was an actual relationship or a flirtationship. I didn’t care much, though. She liked him, so we ended up at the game. 

I don’t really know much about Basketball and I haven’t ever really cared, so I resorted to shouting with the crowd. I do understand a little bit of it, so I did know when we’d get points. And yes, I was smart enough to know that we won. By then I had actually really gotten into the moment and was screaming and jumping around with the crowd. Yes, I can have school spirit when I want to. Don’t act so surprised. 

That was why when Clara, the friend I was with, suggested we go to the victory party I didn’t even think of saying no. I was too into the moment to say no. Unfortunately I’d forgotten about the fact that, Gilinsky being the Point Guard, the party would naturally be held at his place. I wanted to slap myself in the forehead when I stepped over the threshold into the house only to realize I realize whose house I was at. I wanted to tell Clara that I wanted to go home, but I didn’t have my car with me and I couldn’t do that to her. I knew she wanted to spend time with Jack J. 

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d show up,” I heard a well-known voice behind me and immediately felt my facial features shift into a frown. I turned around to see Jack G with that well known smirk painting his features. 

“I’m not here for you.” I retorted. “I’m here for the party." 

I didn’t want to mention the fact that I’d forgotten it was his party. 

"I still want you as far away from me as possible.” I added, before walking off. 

“Wait!” I heard him call after me, but I didn’t feel like dealing with him, so I just continued walking. 

I lost him in the crowd and went onto the dance floor. I tried getting back into the party mood I’d had going for myself an hour earlier, but it wasn’t working. It was as if the conversation with Jack G had sucked that whole party mood dry. And I didn’t know why. 

In the end I ended up walking out into his backyard. The party was going on inside only, so the backyard was completely desolated. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to be here, but I needed to get some air and catch my breath. I walked over to a tree and leaned against it, staring at the night sky over the horizon. I could hear the pounding of the music coming from inside the house, but it was muffled by the closed door, so it gave the atmosphere a bit of serenity.

I could feel a chill, so I huddled my arms closer to myself. I was only wearing a sleeveless black top, paired with dark blue skinny jeans. I didn’t think I’d need a jacket, because it had been a pretty warm day. But obviously I’d been mistaken. I knew that I’d eventually have to go back inside, but I didn’t want to just yet. I could bare with the cold for a couple of more minutes. 

Suddenly I felt a cloth being draped across my shoulders. I looked up and saw that it was Jack G, putting his jacket over my shoulders. I would have told him to get lost, but it was such a sweet gesture that I really didn’t have the heart to. However, I did expect an annoying violently flirtatious remark to come shooting away any moment now. 

“Thanks.” I murmured, refusing to look him in the eye. 

“No problem.” he answered, leaning against the tree, next to me. A silence descended upon us as we both continued looking at the stars, twinkling in the sky. It was a clear night. Not a single cloud to be seen, so the stars and the moon could glow to their full beauty. “Beautiful, isn’t it?" 

His voice caught me a bit by surprise. My eyes met his and I noticed that he’d been looking at me the entire time. "What?” I asked. 

“The stars,” he said and for once it was as if his confidence had left him. He looked down at his feet and scuffed the ground with his shoe. “But you too.” he murmured. 

I was suddenly rendered speechless. Jack G had never once called a girl beautiful. He had always resorted to calling them “hot”, but not once beautiful. Especially not me. I had always thought that he just liked messing with my head by flirting with me, because I was the only girl that didn’t react to his stupid flirtatious remarks. At least not in the way he’d wanted me too. 

“Uh, thanks.” I stammered, feeling my cheeks dust with a pink color. Why am I blushing? I thought to myself. I couldn’t put my finger on why that had happened. I’d never really thought about Jack in any other way than the annoying flirt at school. 

“Look, (Y/N),” he suddenly said, causing me to look up from the grass and look him directly in the eye. “Can we talk?” Before I could reply he spoke again. “I mean, can I talk? Just listen to me." 

I nodded slowly, because I was truthfully curious about what he had to say. 

"I know you don’t like me. I know I’ve made you feel uncomfortable with my flirtatious remarks a handful of times. And I’m sorry. I never mean to do that. I never meant to make you hate me. It’s just that I never knew how to tell you how I actually felt, so I resorted to flirting with you shamelessly in a fruitless attempt to impress you." 

He paused and seemed to be thinking about something and I only continued looking at him. It was the spark in his eyes that made me feel as if I had to listen to him. It was a spark of emotion. For once Jack seemed to be genuine. He seemed to be speaking from the heart. 

"I wish I had the most beautiful and most perfect words to say to you, because if I did I’d tell you all about it. I’d tell you how my heart skips a beat whenever I see you walking down the school hallway. I’d tell you how great it makes me feel when you smile at me. I love the way your eyes seem to glow when you’re happy. I love the way you focus on Math problems in class and how cute it looks when you scrunch up your nose when you’re confused over them. I’d tell you how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you. I’d tell you how much I like it when the wind blows your hair away from your face, because you have a beautiful face. I’d tell you how beautiful every part of you looks to me, no matter how ordinary you think it looks, yourself. I’d tell you how beautiful you always look to me, no matter what you wear and what you’re doing. But most of all… I’d tell you how much in love with you I’ve always been and how much I’ve always wished and hoped that somehow secretly you’ve been too. But, hey, I’m just a stupid narcissistic Point Guard and I don’t have the right words.” he finished and lowered his eyes to the ground. 

“I-I’m sorry.” he stuttered a second later. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.” he turned on his heel and started walking away, but he didn’t get far, because before I was aware of what I was doing I was holding onto his arm, pulling him back. 

Before he could protest I connected my lips to his and let myself dissolve into the kiss. Jack seemed confused at first, but that quickly faded. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me in even closer, while I put my hands around his neck, steadying myself and letting the kiss last. Once we pulled apart there was a second of silence when we just both stared in each other’s eyes, letting what had just happened sink in. 

“I wish I had the right words to tell you,” I started, not breaking eye-contact, “how much I like you too. I’ve liked you for a long time and that’s why I’ve always hoped that there was a sweet person like this under that hardshell exterior. No matter how much you infuriated me I couldn’t get you off my mind. I thought it was a silly little crush, but apparently I was wrong. I wish I had the right words to tell you that I’m in love with you too, Jack.” I said and he smiled. 

“You’ve never called me Jack before.” he said. “You always call me Gilinsky." 

"Shut up, Gilinsky, and let me finish,” I said jokingly and he laughed. He looked back into my eyes and that’s when I started being aware of our closeness. We still hadn’t pulled apart and he still had his arms around my waist and I had my hands around his neck. I could feel his heart beat and it seemed to be just a it faster than usual indicating that he was just as nervous about this whole thing as I was. But I didn’t mind. It made it feel intimate. 

“But sometimes, Jack,” I started, “there are no right words. Sometimes words can’t explain the way we feel. And that’s why sometimes we don’t need words." 

"Because some actions are louder than words.” he said with a smile, before leaning in and kissing me again. 

And that’s when I realized that all these events that had happened up till now led up to this one and that they had all been worth it. Some events are good things even though we sometimes think that they’re not. And what had happened between Jack and me had been serendipity. And honestly it felt so enchanting and magical. Just the way it should feel. 

So, I hope you, guys, like it. I was inspired by It’s a Boy Girl Thing. That scene between Woody and Nell. Those of you that have watched it know exactly which scene I’m talking about. And those of you that haven’t, I suggest you do, because it’s such an adorable movie and it’s awesome. (Or should I say ace, because I’ve started using that word a lot.) Thank you for reading. This is my first Jack G request. I’ve got a few more Cameron and Matt requests that I need to write and one Shawn request, so I’ll be posting more. If you’d like to request don’t hesitate to do so. It doesn’t have to be Magcon either. You can request anyone you want. :) 

anonymous asked:

Hi, What are things that make you see canon dc more positive than others? For me it's 9x22 because there is nothing that can convice we they didn't know how destiel camecross. The "he's in love" was blatanly different pronounced than "with humanity" and the pause was audible. "I cant" scene carbon copy of of the romantic couple of carvers previous show, the orinigal script even including the naked Deans in Cas' heaven. I dont think Carver would allow this if he wouldnt somehow support Destiel

They know exactly what they’re doing. Anyone who thinks all the Destiel content and structure is just coincidence is either plain not paying attention or purposely overlooking it with almost admirable determination (and clenched teeth).

How savvy are TPTB? Misha talked about queerbaiting, giving me the impression he didn’t quite understand what we meant by it, but he really felt the show as a whole was innocent of it. I do make the assumption his attitude goes for the writers room pretty much – or did, back then, because that was over a year ago. Robbie Thompson clearly enjoys lurking on tumblr and flaunting his hipness with all the fandom lingo (we gotta understand that half of the lines in Fan Fiction were gobbledygook to viewers outside fandom). Robert Berens (hired just before season 9) is gay, and judging from his Twitter intensely intellectual and well-read – I can’t imagine he would be unaware of the issue of queerbaiting. The drastically different treatment of female characters in s10 shows that TPTB really have listened and heard our complaints and are changing the way they write rather than engaging in debates on social media forums, which is so much better than anything I dared hope for. All this is making me think that even if they were unaware of the problem with queerbaiting before, they do understand it now.

So, supposing they became educated on queerbaiting some time in the past year, did that make them change what they’re doing? People are very divided on that question. Unlike s8, Cas and Dean have had very little screentime together in s9 and s10a, so that could be an attempt at backing off. On the other hand, their storylines and their relationship only get more romantic all the time. If I was TPTB and I wanted to deflect shipping, there’s a glaringly obvious, easy way to do that in my opinion. Let’s say I’m writing Meta Fiction, and I’m writing a scene where Cas is forced to choose between his angel army and Dean. You know what would be a non-shippy, but just as effective otherwise, way to write that? Make Cas choose between his angel army and the Winchesters. Both of them. Sam and Dean. Not “you did it all for one human… ultimately it was all about saving Dean Winchester.” Why on EARTH would I write dialogue like that, if I in any way whatsoever wanted to steer people away from shipping it? Or even if I just wanted to let people keep shipping it if they so chose, but not actively spur it on??

So, the writers are clearly inserting Destiel on purpose, and in Carver era they have deepened it from throwaway lines and gay jokes to an integral part of the structure and the only remaining relationship on the show that is equal to Sam and Dean’s in importance. Of this I’m completely certain. Just as the brotherhood keeps getting tested and strained but comes back every time, the same thing keeps happening to the profound bond, and just like the brother bond, it’s not going to break.

Cas also has a separate relationship with Sam. It’s a strong bond of trust and friendship. It’s not on the same level as the brother bond or the profound bond – I’d place it around the level of the three-way bond between Sam, Dean and Charlie. The fact that the two bonds – Cas-Dean and Cas-Sam – are so clearly separated and depicted as different, also serves to accentuate the paramount importance of his bond with Dean.

So could they resolve it by killing off Cas? You know, if I was just watching the show and didn’t know anything about the mechanics or people behind it, I’d be worried about that. Everyone dies on Supernatural. Being close to the brothers is no guarantee of survival – John Winchester died, Bobby Singer died. It’s not an ensemble show and never will be. I know a lot of people want it to be, but it’s not going to happen because a) it was never conceived  as such, and b) they don’t have the budget for it. Carver has set up Cas to be a beacon for the brothers, the one to lead them forward on their emotional journey – so it would make sense to make him a martyr, wouldn’t it? Give Cas a beautiful final episode where he sacrifices himself for Dean and Sam (but mostly Dean). Give the shippers some really strong, half-canon gesture in Cas’s dying moments, and then swiftly move on. Shipping problem solved. Narratively satisfying. BUT – behind the scenes, it would be monumentally stupid to axe Misha from the show. They tried killing off Cas once, the ratings immediately took a nosedive, and the only thing keeping the show on the air was a hasty resurrection. It seems clear to me that Misha genuinely wants to continue on Spn as long as possible – he’s talked about directing in season 11 – and as long as they can afford him, they’ll hold on to him if they have any sense. Misha’s popularity has outgrown the entire show’s! I would be extremely surprised if Misha didn’t stay on till the end.

So. Destiel is there, and it’s there to stay. Only one question remains: will it remain subtext or go canon?

I do think a very good case can be made for eventual canon. Personally I can’t see it happening, but I hope I’m wrong. I frequently am, so don’t let my beliefs get you down. And it’s hard for me to outline the reasons why I’m skeptical – it’s a gut feeling based on my view of American culture and TV, which is iffy in itself from my vantage point in Sweden. I don’t get the difference between various networks and broadcasting types and airing times and whatever that Americans do – when your TV shows reach us here in Sweden, it’s all a jumble. All I can say, when I watch queer relationships effortlessly and openly portrayed on shows like Glee and As the World Turns (before it was cancelled) and Happy Endings and whatever, is that those shows seem to represent the 21st century while Supernatural is in so many ways a child of the 20th. Queer subtext wouldn’t work at all on a modern show, because the characters just wouldn’t stand for it. They’d call it out explicitly within five minutes. But Supernatural is from the era of the 1990s and earlier, when queer subtext was a rich, earthy layer to add to your show. Yes, the show started in 2005, but it wasn’t a child of its time even then – and by now, it’s a relic. It’s symptomatic that Dean, the heart of the show, only likes cars from the 60s and music from the 70s and 80s.

Although. He has evolved in Carver era, hasn’t he? He might not be keen to admit it, but his music taste has branched out. Carver has gently made him a more well-rounded character with broader tastes, and nudged him towards our century – I mean, Dean even buys apps now. Maybe that is, in a convoluted way (and don’t even ask me how I arrived at this), a good sign for canon Destiel.

anonymous asked:

companions reacting to the sole survivor slowly becoming a ghoul but sole is really freaking out about it.

  • Piper: She’s apologetic to the point that it almost comes off like she pities them, but it’s because she hates seeing her friend so unhappy. She constantly reminds them of all the good things about them that won’t change and that they’ll still be the same person, holding their hand and hugging them when she thinks they need it. 

  • Hancock: He tries to make a few jokes out of it at first in an attempt to ease the mood. He knows exactly how they’re feeling. But he reminds them they aren’t alone in this. He’s with them every step of the way and beyond that. Things will change; time, the people they know and love, their home, but he’ll always be there right alongside them. 

  • Cait: Like Piper, she reminds them of the things they’ve done for her. She tells them that no matter what, it won’t change how she thinks of them and if anyone has anything bad to say about them being a ghoul she’ll knock their teeth out. 

  • Curie: She finds the process completely fascinating. It sometimes dulls her ability to be more empathetic. But once she sees how deeply it is bothering them, she offers to try and find some way to reverse the process, stall it, or at least stop it, even if she can’t reverse the effects. 
  • Danse: He’s not too thrilled about it either. It leaves him extremely conflicted because as long as he can remember, he was trained to despise ghouls and synths and those old prejudices don’t die easily…but he cares so much about them. So seeing them turn into a ghoul has him so incredibly torn and it takes a lot for him to be supportive. 
  • Preston: Ghoul or not, they’re still his General and his friend and he supports them 100%. He does everything in his power to make them comfortable or to cheer them up, letting them know just how important they are to him and so many others, ghoul or not. 
  • Nick Valentine: He’s a little like Hancock in the sense he tries to make light of it, “Well, I gotta say I think our long term partnership would have worked better if we figured out how to make you into a synth, but I suppose you being a ghoul will work too.” He too reminds them that no matter what, he’ll be there for them. That they won’t have to go through this alone. 
  • MacCready: He’s a little awkward about it and doesn’t know exactly what to say to comfort them. They are his friend and he doesn’t always flat out say it, but he cares about them a lot. He is a bit more sensitive with his jokes and tries to be patient with them, but otherwise doesn’t treat them any differently. The last thing he would want in that situation would be pity. 

  • Codsworth: Since he’s also going to be sticking around for a long while, he reminds them of the fact. He’s been with them since the start and he’ll be there till the end! He makes sure they’re comfortable and aren’t ever lacking anything.
  • Deacon: For once, he doesn’t make a joke out of it. Not when it’s something they are so obviously ridiculously uncomfortable and terrified by. Like everyone else, he reminds them it doesn’t change how he thinks of them. Only later when they start adjusting to the situation does he joke about it, saying he’s contemplating surgery to look like a ghoul again so they’ll match. 
  • Strong: “Humans already ugly. Strong doesn’t understand why so upset.” He tells them it doesn’t change the fact they fight like a behemoth and they are his leader, and in his own little way is surprisingly comforting. 

  • X6-88: It’s extremely upsetting for him. He immediately informs Father, unsure of how they should handle the situation because he knows there is no way anyone will allow a ghoul to become the new leader of the Institute. 

  • Dogmeat: It’ll never change how much he loves them. Having him snuggle with them, not even phased by the drastic shift in their appearance while they go through the changes, helps keep them grounded.