Oikawa giving the second and first years (+Iwaizumi) the sex talk (and telling them why you can’t learn everything from porn!) please :)
Iwaizumi sighed. Why and how had it come up that Kindaichi had no idea what a blowjob was? Oikawa had gathered the team together on the gym floor, rolled out the whiteboard in front of them, and had announced he was giving them “The Talk”. Although Oikawa had regularly stopped his lecture to answer questions, the Seijou boys had been utterly silent the whole time. Kindaichi and Kunimi huddled near each other, knees tucked to their chests and faces beet red. Watari glanced nervously around to his teammates, seemingly trying to figure out how he should react to his captain’s speech, and Yahaba… well, Yahaba may have been slightly interested.
They had already covered anatomy. If you looked close enough at the board, you might be able to make out where Oikawa had drawn a startlingly accurate penis and vagina. He had gone over a brief overview of toys, mentioning the main varieties, and promising he would take them all on a field trip to the local adult store as soon as they had all come of age. Now they were discussing different methods of STI protection and birth control.
“Okay! Who can name me a venereal disease? Anyone?” Again, Oikawa was met with silence. “Someone has to know something! Iwa-chan, what about you?”
“Trashy-kawa, this is dumb. We should be practicing. You know we don’t have a whole lot longer until the interhigh.”
“But Iwa-cha~n! This is important. We’re all young men coming into that time of our lives, and I want all of us to practice safe, knowledgeable sex. You can’t learn everything from porn, you know.” He gives a little pose, then, like there’s some camera the rest of them can’t see recording this as a legitimate sex-ed video.
“Then they need to talk to a teacher or a parent. You’re not even one to be talking. Practicing kissing on your mom’s couch cushion doesn’t qualify you as some kind of sex professor!”
Iwaizumi’s statement, combined with the look of utter mortification on Oikawa’s face sends the rest of the team into a fit of snickers. They had thought that with his ever-present herd of fangirls that their captain would have lost his virginity long ago, but apparently…
“Settle down, everyone! Safe sex is no laughing matter! You could end up having a child before you leave school, and then how would you play volleyball? You could even catch a disease! There’s no cure for herpes, and syphilis can cause arthritis and even brain death, and some strains of HPV can cause cancer. I know how much porn you have downloaded on your phone, Iwa-chan. Have any of them told you all that?”
Iwaizumi, whether due to embarrassment or realizing he was wrong, stays quiet. The team follows suit.
“Not to mention, it doesn’t teach you how to interact with your partner very well. Those are paid actors and actresses, many of whom have been coerced into performing. Porn isn’t an accurate depiction of a sexual encounter at all! It doesn’t discuss the boundaries between consent and nonconsent, how to safely incorporate various kinks, or how to handle the different emotions surrounding sex. Not to even mention the dehumanizing light in which the porn industry shows women and the majority of the LGBT+ community. Now, can I continue?”
This time, when Oikawa starts back up, his team listens intently. They’re not sure how he’s learned so much about sex when allegedly he hasn’t had it, but for now, they’ll take his word on the matter.
((OOC: DUNDUNNAAAAAA TOOTIE’S SECRET IS REVEALEDDD though to some of you, it wasn’t really a secret anymore. >v< I’m sure most of you figured it out HERP
I figured I’d give you guys the update too, since I love you all so much ;U; I’ll see about doing some more updates the rest of the week to continue her family hijinks
This is not just some random idea I came up with-this is actually something I’ve had planned for a LONG time, but I wasn’t sure how to go about revealing it. I figured this would be the best way c: It explains some things about her too that some of you know and some of you might not have known or realized, but I’ll talk about those things another time. For now, let’s just let Tootie have her moment. uvu))
Yesterday I went out to eat with my boyfriend for St. Patty’s day. We went to an Irish restaurant a really good friend of mine works at. I hadn’t seen her in too long a time, it was lovely. While she was serving another table he asked me what I was staring at.
“I’m looking at Jill. I love her. I’ve missed her so much. I love her. I love Jill.”
He looked me in the eye and replied, “I love you.”
I was caught off guard. “What? What did you just say? Did you mean to say that?”
“Yes. I love you baby. Of course I love you. I finally had to blurt it out.”
With flushed cheeks and the most stupid smile lighting up my facd, I told him that I love him too.
Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been in love? A year ago today I was crushed, shattered to pieces by Chase and his frozen soul.
I have a boyfriend now who is in love with me and I also have herpes. I’m doing just fine.
Michael had to get Halla out of the bedroom when Dr. Thompson arrived. Everyone else had left an hour ago but she hadn’t emerged from her blanket cocoon. He’d brought her food and a big glass of ice water. She’d only picked at the food which had him worried. At least she drank the water before she pulled the blanket back up over her and went back to ignoring the entire world.
“Thank you for calling me. I don’t normally make house calls, but in this case I’m making an exception,” she said to Michael as Halla came into the room.
“That bad, doc?” Halla said as she flopped down on the sofa.
“How are you feeling right now, Halla?”
“Like getting drunk so I can’t remember what’s in those photos.”
“Are you comfortable with Michael being here while we talk, or would you like privacy?”
Halla waved her hand limply at Michael who was sitting at the other end of the sofa. “He can stay. It’s not like he doesn’t know about all of this anyway.”
“Know everything? He saw those pictures. What’s left to know?”