HEADCANON: Lᴏᴠᴇ ( part 1 )
while this isn’t a foreign subject for rin, and rin does have the hope to love and be loved like a normal person, she does know that her circumstances are not kind towards the possibility of this happening. her love develops from trust, so you can say that she views trust and loyalty to be something of high value when she loves someone. it isn’t hard to earn her affection, that’s for sure. while she might seem closed off and distanced from others, rin is actually soft inside and would develop attachment and love towards someone should they become close enough and able to penetrate the wall she built up, or see through the mask she wears most of the time.
the thing about rin is that, when she loves someone, in the first stage where she doesn’t fully realize or accept it, she has tendency to deny it. this is where her being ‘ tsun ’ comes into play. she would try to deny holding affection for the said person and backing up those denials with logic, for example, they were in a war and she isn’t allowed to feel such a way. but once she developed past the point of denial, she’s very HONEST. or at least my rin is. she’s affectionate, and she needs reassurance and time to be given as she will give hers in return to her lover. she’s extremely loyal and protective. once she had decided to love someone and had accepted that fact, she would literally do anything for the one she loves — they would become her whole world and she would go to the end of the world and back for them. so it’s safe to say that while it might be a little rocky at first for her to accept her affection for someone, once she did, she holds nothing back. she isn’t afraid to love. she wanted to love, and she will love with all her heart and soul.
love to misaya does exist, but she doesn’t have faith in it. not to say that she doesn’t believe it to be true, the concept of love and all, but given the BETRAYAL she had witnessed from the contract between paracelsus & her father, she doesn’t feel like love was something possible or designed for a magus. even more so, magi aren’t supposed to have friends, that was the belief rooted to her from that betrayal, which is why the concept of love is even more far-fetched in her opinion. she doesn’t reject it, but she doesn’t seek it, nor thought it was going to happen for her. after all, she time is LIMITED.
like rin, misaya views trust and loyalty as something crucial to love and affection. but she doesn’t associate placing trust on someone as her opening up to them. she places trust on entirely different perspective than how rin does with love. to her, trust is to be able to leave her back open to someone and they wouldn’t plunge a knife through it. but that’s it. and contrasting to how rin loves, misaya, if struck by fascination about someone, she shows it right off the bat. the magus isn’t afraid to convey her interest to the said person as well as her respect should she holds it for them, unlike rin who would deny even showing interest or care. however, when her feelings developed into something more, that’s where she will DENY everything. she hates being vulnerable and being figured out, having that pride as a WOMAN KING to ever tolerate that. it will be a real challenge in order to make her just accept that it was affection she’s feeling towards the person. but deep down, her love burns just as fiercely as her stubbornness and pride. if how ever one may get the cherubim to accept that she loves them, she will be willing to burn the entire world down just for them. let her choose between the whole world and the person she loves, she will choose the latter in a second and watch the world burned to ashes without batting an eyelash.