how in the hell is it thursday already

WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER ASPEN LEGER WEEK 2017!


Inspired by T (@eadlynschreaveofillea) and Deeps (@theheirofillea) and their weeks, I decided to host my very own Aspen Week because I love Aspen and I feel like a lot of people dislke him for getting in the way of Maxerica. I know teen Aspen was a little bit of a whiny bitch but damn General Leger is the best.

Most posts about him are usually talking about how annoying he was in the original trilogy or how he shouldn’t have even been in the books so now is the time to change some of these opinions. If I can ease up on Ahren after Twins Weeks, y’all can love Aspen after Aspen Week. 

[Literally borrowing T’s format because I love consistency; thanks T!]

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This is definitely cheating but Happy Bellarke Fam Selfie Night! This pic is old, the last time I went out properly and bothered with hair/makeup and decent clothes and looked passable. 

You have no idea how amazing it is to wake up here in the morning (UK boii) and see all of you guys’ posts about the episode which can either be angsty as hell, funny as hell or somewhere in between. Highlight of my Thursday, I swear.

Love you all. Enjoy the ep!

Can’t wait to see you guys’ beautiful faces, if I haven’t already <3

@problematicbellarke @spacexualkids @bellarke-always @abazethe100 @skychild29 @ravenbellclarke

The scariest thing about the documentary 'Jesus Camp'

Is that it’s not even exaggerated, in middle school (about age 11 or 12) I got really into church, a church where they would speak tongues and pray over things that people wouldn’t think to pray over. And I never realized how creepy and weird it was until later, I never realized how I actually felt. I remember feeling like I had to speak in tongues and I had to pray and dance around for Jesus and cry for him, even though I never even heard him even if everyone else did because if I didn’t then people would think I was faking it, which I was. I remember going to camp and the pastor would question if I was a real Christian in front of all of my ‘friends’ and in front of all the camp goers, he would question if I had already let the devil into me and if I was already destined to hell. I never realized how brainwashed I was, how I believed that if I spoke in tongues, went to church every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday, danced for the lord, and forced my beliefs on other people then God would accept me into heaven!

It just, this documentary 'Jesus Camp’ makes me despise everything about that type of Christianity, because it didn’t make me a better person, I came home and I would yell and scream at my parents because I was under so much stress of the thought of going to hell. All it did was question who I was and it dug a pit in my heart that can never be filled. Even stepping in a church now makes me feel uncomfortable because of everything that happened when I was 11 or 12. Jesus Camp isn’t horrifying because of the concept of kids being brainwashed into believing what they believe, it’s horrifying because it happens everyday, and it happened to me and Im still trying to recover from it.

Watch Your Tone(r)

Beca hurried, hefting the tray on her shoulder. Her back hurt like a mother fucker, her feet were numb, and fucking thankfully all she had to do was get two more tables out the door and they would finally be closed for the night and she could go home and pass the fuck out. Except that the two tables she still had to go were the rudest, white middle class people she’d ever fucking encountered in her year of waitressing, so this was going to try her patience even more than normal. Who even came into a restaurant at 9:48PM when they closed at 10? It was so fucking rude.

She took a deep breath and pulled a smile out of her ass. At least she wasn’t the waitress stuck with like a party of fifteen. It was some sort of team or something, all dressed in black and bouncing between speaking English and what sounded like full-on German. They’d been there for about an hour and half before they got their food, but they hadn’t made a fuss and were almost done now. But still. Fifteen fucking people. Beca was glad she wasn’t Stacie. Or Amy for that matter since she had to cook all that food. Geesh.

Beca stepped up to her table and put the tray on its stand. She handed out the food with a smile even though on the inside she was killing each and every one of the family of four in various, slow and painful ways. She still wanted at least a decent fucking tip for this bullshit. With one last smile she was off again towards the back with a sigh. The dad was going to need a refill before everything was over. She might as well just get it now and save herself the trouble and while she was at it get the bill ready for the other table that was basically done. Anything to hurry them the fuck out of her hair.

She grabbed everything she needed and headed out again. This time the smile she put on felt ten times as fake, but maybe twenty more minutes and she would be free as a bird. Well, free-ish. There was still cleanup work to do, ugh. She dropped off the bill and walked up to her other table, icy Dr. Pepper in hand.

Oh no. She could see the glares as she walked up. This wasn’t going to go well. Something had gone wrong. Which, surprise, happened when no one fucking cared about your order because you were a dick bag and came in like two minutes to closing. Except now she was going to have to deal with it. Great. Just what she always wanted. Like those stupid Sockem Boppers that her parents never got her for Christmas when she was little even though she’d asked for them for like five Christmases in a row. She was clearly still bitter about that. Chances were she was totally going to be bitter about what was about to happen too.

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my first love

So ya’ll want to hear about my first love? Her name is Jessica and I still love her to this day, just a different type of love than before.  So it was my sophomore year and my brother and I were going to an away game and everything was going against us to make it to this game, my truck was messing up and I barely made it back home after an hour of messing with it then my dad came and helped and told me to take his truck and I was like no I’m done it’s not worth it but my brother was persistent and persuaded me to go. We finally got there 20 minutes late. He and I were sprinting to get to the student section and as soon as we got there, I lock eyes with the most gorgeous blonde I had ever seen in my entire life. I was standing right behind her and everyone was yelling and laughing and having a good time and I saw her face light up!! Her eyes seemed to shine and glimmer in the stadium lights and she had a smile that melted me instantly!!  She was more than beautiful, to me at least, and there was just something about that moment I guess that time seemed to freeze and the only thing I saw was here and how was so unremarkable! So I finally got the guts to talk to her after the 3rd quarter and we exchanged numbers and ended up flirting the remainder of the game, hell I can’t tell you who won because I was too focused on us and how this girl was already driving me wild.  Come to find out she was a volleyball player and she had 3 games the upcoming week and I went to every one of them, me being the only guy there and I

was cheering as loud as I could for her, needless to say I drew a lot of attention which is how I ended up meeting her mother, whom became to be like a second mom to me.  Anyway that Thursday after who last game of that week I was walking with her to the car with her mom carrying her stuff and I looked at her right in her eyes and asked “jess, will you please be my girl?” and she had the biggest smile ever and just giggled “ absolutely” ! she lived about 20 minutes from  me in the country and it didn’t matter I was at her house every single Saturday morning and during duck season I was go straight from hunting to hauling ass to her house! It got to the point where I didn’t even have to tell my parents where I was going Saturday mornings, it would be wake up, shower and haul ass there! I was often get there before she woke up and I would cook breakfast for her and help her dad with stuff, her dad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to work on trucks! Her family became a second family to me. We were inseparable.  Everyone knew us as either jesses guy or nicks girl! I loved her and still do and always will!! I promised her that I would always be there no matter what and how I would always protect her and be her guardian angel! And I’ve never backed down from that promise and never will!

After 4 of the happiest months of my life, it all came crashing down in one night. So I got off work from long shitty shift and when I got home my dad was like nick you have to do the dishes which put me in a better mood, but I was texting her so it was fine by me.  We were texting like normal just talking and then out of nowhere I get a txt that say “nick, I don’t know what to do” and that really threw me off and I was like “what do you mean? What’s going on?” and she said “I don’t know if I can have a boyfriend I can’t handle the stress with school and everything and I just don’t know, what should I do?” I replied “what the hell is going on jess! Like I obviously still want to be together no matter what but it’s your life and I’m not going to tell you how to live it” well a long 15 minutes went by and I get a txt that simply says “goodbye”. I dropped a plate and my dad looked over and was going to yell but then notice the tears beginning to roll down my face, he asked if I was alright and all I could say is its over she ended it! I was a mess I ran outside grabbed a six pack of my dad’s Budweiser out of the fridge and sat on the tailgate and cried like a little girl, my life had just had a bomb dropped on it and my heart was the epicenter of the blast! In the following months we fought more than I have with anyone else and cried more and missed each other more but couldn’t make it work. We are now best friends again and have been through hell and back with her and will never leave her hanging, I’m there when guys treat her bad or she needs a shoulder to cry on or a set of arms to hug her, I love her and I am and ALWAYS will be her guardian angel!!