how i feel when i work out

hate to be emo n depressing but I wish I had more friends, n had better social skills to meet long lasting friends that I genuinely care about n vice versa. it’s hard though…to just have someone reciprocate the same feelings n have someone work just as hard as you to keep up a friendship. part of me wished I joined more clubs and put myself out there to find new friends, but part of me is grateful that I already have a handful of friends that cherish and care about me. having one of those friends is a blessing in itself but sometimes its depressing when you run of friends to talk to n you realize how your social circle is so limited yet you don’t have the energy or the time or are really in any scenario for you to meet any new people. it’s conflicting, its life n it sucks.

“I feel like all actors go through ups and downs with high highs and low lows. In our job we have so much control, but at the same time so little since we never really know when the next audition will be.

I auditioned for my role in ‘Anastasia’ three times. The first two auditions, I was acting how I thought I should act. I thought they were looking for something similar to the cartoon version. The third time was the charm. I just went in as myself, and everything worked out.

Good things will happen to people who put themselves out there and believe in themselves. You have to keep telling yourself that you are enough. You are enough to make people happy and don’t need to be anything else. The minute you start to acting like someone else you won’t be happy, and the successes you may get won’t feel as fulfilling when you’re acting like someone you’re not.”

I have 3 types of favourites

1) “I like them in canon”: I enjoy what I get, I probably will rarely make or look for fanwork about them. I like what already exist. I’m probably gonna make some doodles for lulz, but not much

2) “Characters I like to torment”: Regardless of how I feel about them, I just like to make LOL-art putting them in silly costumes or poses. Or make absurdly angsty backstories for them. Sometimes both. Usually I end up putting out a decent amount of work.

3) “AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO ACTUALLY LIKES THIS?”: When I feel like I’m the only person who likes the ship/character/fandom and I have to be the on making all the fanwork because I can’t find anyone else doing them. 

anonymous asked:

Well amber certainly made it clear in her 2nd post that this is mostly about her as a soloist. Again, I understand from a business standpoint why sm are reluctant to spend time on her when they have more profitable idols but damn...when you have multiple idols express their disdain and straight out say they feel neglected maybe they should work harder to make them happy. I dont think sm even takes amber seriously. they prob dont think she'll leave so they arent saying anything about it.

She’s in a very difficult situation and SM knows it, that’s for sure. I personally think SM is shooting themselves in the foot with how they’re treating idols. Jessica, the exo boys, Amber, Henry/Zhoumi, f(x) in general. If they continue to do this, they’re going to start losing the best trainees to JYP, YG, and maybe even Bighit or WM. Sure some kids might think the possibility of debuting in SM is worth the risk but with more and more idols vocally expressing the lack of freedom and respect, why would you sign there if you could go elsewhere when creative freedom is becoming more and more common and other agencies that do similarly well or better?

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to vent a little if that's okay... so my friend is at her brothers wedding today and she's a bridesmaid. Her mom measured her for the dress at the end of summer and the measurements said she needed a size 16, but her mom purposely ordered her a size 14 bc she "was worried a 16 would be too big." She then forced my friend to work out and eat less so she'd fit the dress but she still didn't when it came and now she's wearing a too tight dress and I'm just. So angry.

Originally posted by everythingstarstuff

I am ANGERY!

That is cruel and extremely fatphobic, also abusive.

The most you can do is be there for your friend and make sure she knows that you love her no matter her size. Make sure she knows how you feel about what her mother is doing to her, it may give her the courage to stand up to her mother, if it is safe for her to do so.

-Mod Egg

I think it’s important that we don’t idolize people like the McElroys for caring about others. I don’t think that’s entirely productive. And let me reiterate that I love the work they put out and it is very refreshing to go into a comedic work with the knowledge that the people behind it really do care about their fans feelings, that there is a very very low chance of them saying something that hurts me.

but here’s the thing, that shouldn’t be refreshing. it should be the norm.

I also worry about how that idolization is making some fans defend them against genuine criticism. Like. You know they want us to speak up when they do something shitty, right? They’re grown men, they can handle someone saying “hey, that thing you said wasn’t cool”.

I have a handful of criticisms for them I could put in this post, but I think most of it comes from their older content + I don’t follow them closely enough to know whether it’s been addressed already.

also I just woke up and don’t feel like going much deeper into this than just “Let the McElroys’ response to criticism set the bar for other creators rather than treating them as exceptions to the rule.”

cosplay mindset troubles: 

  • i want to cosplay
  • i don’t really know how to make things and i don’t have money, but if i reaaaaally wanted to that probably wouldn’t stop me
  • i don’t want to buy or make costumes until I get in shape cause I don’t want to make something that’s not going to last a while and I don’t want to feel sad when it doesn’t fit anymore if it turns out ok
  • i probably won’t lose weight anytime soon because i have depression and i suck
  • i probably won’t cosplay anytime soon
  • also i’m scared of wigs
  • because of the money issue i have a hard time finding characters i reaaaaally want to cosplay enough to spend money on because i doubt myself and my skills so spending money on cosplay seems wasteful if it won’t turn out at least okay because i’m an amateur
  • even though i know everyone doubts themselves especially when they see someone else cosplaying the same character, I don’t want to spend the money if I feel bad about myself
  • i haven’t cosplayed at a con in 3 years and it’s depressing
  • but so is the amount of weight i’ve gained in three years

anonymous asked:

Ocarina had an obnoxious tutorial, it was just disguised as normal gameplay. It did the same pokemon thing of "you can't come through here until you have a (weapon/pokemon)" so you end up having to jump through hoops to prove you know how to play a video game

Idk man, I’d rather a game that let me go out and find my own sword and shield than one that just gave me one and told me to go fuck shit up. Especially in a no stakes environment. It feels like I’m actually part of a world rather than in a game. I mean, this doesn’t work in every game. Like I think it’s easy to forget that when OoT came out, the idea of a 3D Zelda game was new and getting players acquainted with moving in a world like that was important. I think more games need to take the time out for stuff like that, especially for new players. Like, Halo did that where right at the start it had you look at the lights. It was one of the first FPS games like that and it taught players to know and become well acquainted with their full scope of movement

All that aside, it’s also important to remember that these games are also designed with a non-gamer audience in mind. People who actually don’t know how to just pick up and play a game, or need to be taught the specifics of a new game. 

I think Ocarina of Time did a great job of slowly introducing the players to a game that felt like natural progression, that felt like it made sense in the context of the world, and had you play through it learning without realising it. Sure, it held your hand a little, but I would hardly call it obnoxious. Not unless it’s your 7th time playing through the game. At which point I’d be impressed if any of the game wasn’t obnoxious.

In honor of my 5th semester in a row of all A’s (hell yeah boiiiii) I’m going to make this post. I don’t know how I did it because I am honestly so lazy.

  1. Grades are reflective of your work ethic and your ability to strategize, not your intelligence.
  2. Be real with yourself. Are you sure you are ready to commit to perfect grades? Are you ready to work, day in and day out, when it sucks and classes are boring and hard? Are you ready to feel satisfied for all of the hard work you put in? If the answer is yes, congratulations. You are on your way to becoming a straight-A student.
  3. Prioritize classes. Not every class requires the same amount of work, and you should find out the hardest classes early on in the semester. These will take the most time, and you will have to spend extra time and effort to get a good grade. When choosing classes, make sure you will be able to handle them. Make sure you will be able to ace all of them, at the same time. That being said, don’t shy away from hard classes. You have to challenge yourself. Take a few AP’s. They are worth it.
  4. Make friends with teachers/professors, especially the ones that teach hard subjects. I am very close with my chemistry professor, and this has proved invaluable because I am able to get free tutoring, as well as a great recommendation letter for college apps.
  5. Have other goals. You need to do something that is not studying to keep you productive. I would highly recommend joining a sports team or club. I exercise (usually running and weightlifting) at least 2 hours a day, usually more. Playing 2 sports made me more healthy, social, and productive. Running calms me down, and weightlifting makes me feel strong. Do whatever makes you feel good, as long as it’s healthy.
  6. Learn to manage time well. How do I play 2 sports, get straight A’s, have a studyblr, and have time to spare? The answer is that I take care of myself well. I go to bed at 10:30 or 11 each night so I can get 7 ish hours of sleep. I do homework during lunch or in class so I don’t do it at home.
  7. Slack off. Yep. I said it. I complete assignments strategically, spending the most time on things worth the most points. Things that will only take a few minutes can occasionally be done in class right before the teacher is collecting homework. I have done this all too often. That being said, small assignments really do add up so make sure you do an acceptable job and turn them in on time.
  8. Turn something in. It is ok to sometimes slack off in quality, but if something is due, you better turn something in. Something is better than nothing. Getting extensions on assignments for no reason will make the teacher think you are lazy, or don’t care about their class. Every single essay and worksheet does not have to be your best work, but make sure you fill the basic assignment requirements, and it should be enough. 
  9. Extra. Credit. Some classes don’t offer this, but if they do, just freaking do it man. Knowing you can miss an assignment because you did extra credit earlier is the best feeling, especially when doing that assignment would have meant losing sleep. 
  10. Plan (sort of). I have a bullet journal where I write important assignments down. As I said, there are some assignments not worth your time that you can half-ass. The ones I write down are the ones I need to do well. If you write down every. last. assignment. you will burn out and stop planning altogether. 
  11. Sometimes, go above and beyond. You know that subject you really like? With an awesome teacher? Spend time on it. Make your project extra beautiful, and read ahead in the textbook. Watch video lectures online, and maybe even make a studyblr post about it. Your extra work might not be turned in for credit, but it will make you feel a whole lot more knowledgeable on the subject. Do this for classes you hate, too. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think it is. The extra effort might allow you to see the beauty in a subject you used to despise. 
  12. Be real with yourself (again). This past semester, I had a B+ for a few months in a subject I really love. I wasn’t mad, and I didn’t stress about it, because, honestly? It doesn’t really matter. Eventually I brought the grade up again, but it would be fine to me either way. 
King of Memes

Or, how Tony Found Out About Bucky’s Blog. 


Tony couldn’t seep. Sometimes he managed a few hours if he was tired enough, so usually he went to the gym and worked out until he was exhausted. Tonight, though, he found the gym already occupied: Barnes, with his hair tied up, working steadily at the heavy bag. Normally Tony would make an awkward comment and leave him to it, but instead he just heads for the opposite side of the gym. After setting up at one of the far treadmills, Tony worked his way to a easy run. Barnes was laying his fists rhythmically into the bag, and the quiet thumping was sort of strangely soothing. Between the running and the thumping, Tony slipped into a near-trancelike state.

 And then Barnes let out an ungodly howl, drew back his left fist, and slammed it straight through the heavy bag with a roar of, “DIE A THOUSAND BURNING DEATHS!”

Tony fell off the treadmill, scrambled to his feet, and booked it to the elevator.


kingofmemes posted:

holy shit you guys there was a spider on my punching bag !!! thanks to my many years of combat experience & martial arts training things are okay now

Posted at 4:47 AM, 37294 notes


Keep reading

i was told a lot i wasn’t trying hard enough but i couldn’t try and that’s what hurt. sometimes i’d get these moments of clarity where my brain caught up with me and instead of clouds i’d be dropped into a pit, falling. there was so much i had missed out on, i had skipped, i had avoided. and when i could finally feel again it would all hit me. i’d remember all my friends i’d isolated from and all the work i hadn’t done and all the opportunities i’d missed and it would all hit me at once like a blizzard. i’d be frozen in place by it. suddenly what had seemed unimportant was now soul-crushingly real and present.

the only way i knew how to handle that was to just shut it all off again. i know that didn’t look like trying. that i would just ignore the problem. that i would let all that fog in so i wouldn’t feel how much i was dying. 

it was like living in front of a blowtorch. i was either cold or suddenly on fire.

this time, i’m not coming back. this time,
i’m kissing my knuckles before i stop clenching them
and finding the strength you never saw in me.
i am realizing i am much too soft to win the war
with my bare hands. this time, i am walking away
instead. i am realizing you are no good for me.
you are the color of loneliness. you feel like
being lost in the woods, but i am addicted
to how i feel when i find my way back home.
home. i thought i could carve one inside of you,
but in the end, the only one being haunted
is me. i’m at work thinking about how
the world would be better if you weren’t
in it. i’m in class wondering if my feelings
are as irrelevant as you have made them.
but i still laugh when you text me. i smile
when i’m with you, then go home and
wash my mouth out with soap. i love to feel
the love in my heart for you, but the truth is,
i’m still dealing with the aftermath of your
absence. i always wanted you to come back,
but the truth is, you never did one damn thing
that was good for me. you have a tsunami heart
and i am so tired of being caught in the wreckage.
so no more you first. no more feeling bad when
i leave your messages unanswered. no more
jealousy over the girls who get to be friends
with you with no consequence. i have to let this
go. i have to stop touching the wound and
breathe you out like the bad habit you are.
you don’t get to hurt me anymore.
i am finished. i am finished.
—  this time, i’m not coming back

Tarot spread for when you’re feeling frustrated and blocked. When there’s something wrong but you can’t quite figure what that is.

  1. The cork, what’s keeping card five trapped.
  2. What you need to keep an eye out for, the negative repercussions that this reveal will give you
  3. The positives that will come from this being let into the light
  4. What you should do to work on the negatives of card two, how to move further through them.
  5. The central issue, the thing that needs to be let out into the light
  6. How the positives found in card three will inform and shape and improve your life.

This spread actually helps me a lot with shadow work - if I keep running up against an emotion I can’t figure out the reason for, I work on this, but it also helps when I’m feeling stifled.

today has been a long day. i spent most of it locked out of my body. this year has left me speechless a lot. last night doesn’t feel real. i went to work. when people asked me how i was doing i said i was fine automatically. the sky was very grey and inside of me i feel nothing. like a light has gone out. like i’ve scrubbed down my organs with ashes. 

what do i say under the walls of this. my fingernails hurt from trying to claw out of the grave. we were so close. i was starting to feel brave. like it just might work. like if we fought hard enough we could get something done. i really believed, for a moment.

there’s nothing to write. what are words when our actions meant nothing in the end. when all the pleading in the world didn’t stop them. when our protests, when our stories, when our existence wasn’t enough to them. or maybe too much. i’m uncertain. over ten thousand people vote for a dead gorilla. i wonder if they feel the weight of him sitting on their chest at night. over half the electoral votes go to trump and i know, terribly: at least one person quietly took their life that night.

i am reassured clinton would have been bad, too. i have looked up new zealand real estate in the last twelve hours. i was named after a political writer in my family who wrote under a false name, who sought asylum in america. who didn’t make it to america. will i be her shadow, will i make it to new zealand? 

there is nothing left in me. i am burnt out. nothing i have done mattered to them.

for some reason: this is where the good comes in, that it never stopped them from hating me. everything i said and did in the name of hope will never reach their ears and that’s okay, maybe.

it did reach one person. or several people. who needed me to say something, even if it would never change someone’s mind.there was someone who needed me to stand up even if i’ll never make it above their shoulders. someone who needed me.

we have learned such awful things about our neighbors. which is why we must become each other’s wing guards. listen, you who are sitting on aching feathers, bone-picked and with fresh wounds and nothing to turn to: turn to each other. be what they need, let them be the same in return. be their voice, be their steady hand, be the diary. be alive for them. be alive for me. be alive to save a life, to be present on the bridge the day we burn it down, to light the fire, to warm your hands in it. be loving, be the gentleness we have had torn from us, give quilts of yourself and look up. when they push you down you keep your eyes on the stars and you whisper that you’re not doing it just for yourself anymore. you’re doing it for trans girls trapped under eighteen wheels, for the brothers we lost in nightclubs, for the latin children and the laughter stolen out of their mouths. we are doing it not to feel our own blood pumping but so that the blood of others may never be spilled again on this soil so help me, if i live, if i get through this. and we are doing it for you, who are reading this, who deserves to live a life so full of sweetness that you get drunk on it. fly with me. i know the myth of icarus. you can be my daedalus. if you get there safe, at least that’s one of us. or maybe, in this story, we both land, with blessings from the sun. fly with me, look up.

there are a million places i have never seen and a million things you haven’t done and a dozen bones we must break before we see morning. we may never change their minds, never stop feeling helpless or broken or tired.

but look up. we might save a life.

and that’s good enough.

  • namjoon: isn't this great? it's just like when we were trainees. remember that time...(starts rambling)
  • [meanwhile in yoongis head]
  • yoongi one: painting sure is fun.
  • yoongi two: you know what else is fun? killing your best friend.
  • yoongi one: that doesn't sound fun at all, yoongi.
  • yoongi two: well, how would you know?! all you do is sleep, yoongi!
  • yoongi three: i think yoongi is right, we should branch out in our hobbies, yoongi.
  • yoongi two: oh shit! namjoon stopped talking. he wants you to respond. say something, stupid!
  • yoongi, out loud: i wasn't thinking about killing you.
  • namjoon: aw, thank you!
  • yoongi two: nailed it.

me before dog: wouldn’t leave the house in anything less than real clothes and a full face of makeup

me after dog: consistently walks dog in pajamas, no bra, fuzzy socks, and slippers. gives no fucks.

Here are some Photoshop tips and tricks that I wish I’d known when I started digital painting. The shortcuts are for Photoshop CS6, but they should be similar across versions.

  • Flip your canvas while sketching. This will make anatomical flaws painfully obvious and may help you work out areas you’re having trouble with. You may literally recoil in horror when you flip it (I know I have), but after you fix the mistakes and flip it back your drawing will look much better. (Image > Image rotation > Flip canvas horizontal).
  • Liquify is your best friend for fixing your sketch. It allows you to push and pull sections of your drawing around so you can fix little things without having to redraw them a million times. However, it will slightly blur the areas you push around so don’t use it on your final images because you’ll loose some detail. (Filter > Liquify…).
  • Adjust the brush presets for smoother lines. Photoshop’s default brushes have spacing set to 25% for some bizarre reason; reducing the spacing to 1% will give you smoother lines. (Brush panel > Spacing > 1%).
  • Rename and rearrange your brush presets. Save brush settings you like, delete the ones you don’t use, and test/rename all the brushes you download to avoid cluttering up your presets and streamline your process. Everyone loves trying new brushes, but I always end up going back to the same 5. You can also rearrange your workspace under the Window menu.
  • Blend your colours while painting by selecting the intermediate colour. Okay, everyone and their mom has probably told you that blending with the intermediate colour is far superior to the Blur and Smudge Tools. What they usually fail to mention is that you can quickly select any colour on your canvas by holding the ALT key while using the Brush Tool. (I’ve programmed one of the hot keys on my tablet to be ALT so I can select colours quickly while painting without having to switch to Eyedropper Tool or Colour Picker).
  • Use Clipping Masks to restrict your painting to a specific area. Need 12 layers to get the right skin tone but tired of erasing the edges of each one so they line up perfectly? Use a clipping mask to prevent a layer from exceeding the boundaries of the layer below it. (Layers panel > new layer > RIGHT CLICK > Create clipping mask).
  • Test your colour and tone variety by taking them to the extreme. Using adjustment layers that max out the saturation of you painting will give you a clear idea of the colours you’ve used and the overall hue of your piece. Another adjustment layer minimizing saturation will make it obvious where you need to add more light or shadow to boost your contrast. (Layers panel > Create new fill or adjustment layer > Hue/saturation… > Saturation set to +100 or -100).
  • Make your painting more cohesive with Curves. Curves will adjust the overall hue and tone of your painting, which can quickly tie all of your elements together and add atmosphere. You can also adjust Levels and Brightness/Contrast in the same way. (Layers panel > Create new fill or adjustment layer > Curves…)