how have i never put all these in one gifset before

The Kiss

Title:  The Kiss

Author:  Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Summary: Dean kisses the reader, hoping to save her life. What happens when he takes her home?

Characters: Dean Winchester x plus sized, female reader

Word Count:  2287

Warnings:  self-doubt, mentions of previous bad treatment, low self confidence, nsfw, smut, explicit language, explicit sexual content, fingering, unprotected sex

Author’s Notes: I borrowed the premise of the “return to love” spell from episode 11.13 Love Hurts, as well using this gifset for inspiration. I am participating in my own challenge, the Mimi’s RomCom Fluff Challenge. I took the quote, “Oh God, this is one of those key moments in life, when it’s possible you can be really, genuinely cool - and I’m failing 100%” from Notting Hill. Thank you @mamapeterson and @climbthatmooselikeatree for looking over this for me.

***My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Originally posted by inacatastrophicmind

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gif/graphic tutorial

i never know what to call these things, but i’m going to show you how to do these 4 different gif effects in photoshop:

you can find the original gifset here. while this tutorial will not have any part about the coloring, and only how to make these different effects, it is really in depth for each and every step (with pictures!). so then hopefully this will be easy to understand even if you’ve never done something like this before. all you’ll really need to know is how to make a gif, and it might be helpful to have an basic understanding of clipping masks. otherwise these aren’t too complicated! this i a really long tutorial so here we go!:

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Adrenaline Rush {S.M}

requested// imagine where you and Shawn are good friends and you’re giving him a pep talk and in the heat of the moment he kisses you

author’s note// yanno what’s a good show? law and order svu. yanno what’s a horrible movie? to the bone, highly offensive, absolutely horrible

masterlist 

“Man, it’s a pretty huge crowd out there.” Shawn was basically shaking. You had never ever seen him this nervous for a show. It was almost unheard of for him to be this nervous. He was so at home on stage, he seemed more nervous just walking down the street to get lunch than getting on stage in front of all of those people. 

“It isn’t that bad, Shawn.” You smirked at him, pulling your self up to sit on the counter were he was supposed to get ready, but he wasn’t using it. He was sitting on the grey sofa near the left of the dressing room he was provided tuning the first guitar he used on stage. 

“I never said it was bad.” He looked up at you for a second, a grin teasing the corners of his lips. “It’s just a big crowd.” He was messing around with the A string, seemingly not being able to quite get it right. It was probably his fumbling fingers. But if you had to hear a flat A one more time you were going to rip your ears off. 

“Do you want some help?” You winced as he plucked the string one more time, sounding flatter than it did the last time. He shook his head rather vigorously, which she expected. He was rather particular about how his acoustic was tuned whenever he would go on stage. He wanted to make sure everything was absolutely perfect every time he stepped foot onto that stage. You knew it was probably rather stupid to ask. He’d never let you touch that guitar before a show. 

“I’ll be fine.” He was probably nervous because this was his final concert, in his hometown nonetheless, all of his friends were out in that audience. People from his high school, family members, so many people he knew were out in that crowd, and even though it was just as big as all of the other concerts he had played throughout the tour, maybe even smaller than some. 

“You look like you’re about to have a panic attack.” You scoffed, pulling your legs underneath you. He just smiled and shook his head a little bit, focusing way too much on that guitar. You thanked your lucky stars he wasn’t as insane about his electric guitar. 

“Why are you in here with me and not out there.” He nodded his head towards the door, referencing the audience. You shuddered just thinking about sitting out there with a shitton of kids you went to high school with and hated. They all did sports and were rather popular back in the day, and not that they were mean to you, but Shawn’s old group of friends from high school were not your favorite people. You had always been close friends with him since freshman year when you were both placed in an intro to art class and you were sat with one another because they both couldn’t draw to save their lives. He was close with all of those other people back before he was famous, but he started to notice a lot of them only made an effort to stay close with his busy schedule only due to his intense rising fame. He didn’t mind all that much, but he didn’t make quite as much an effort. As for you and Shawn, you had stayed close from the moment you had met up until now. It was almost funny when the others out there would post photos calling Shawn their best friend, when in reality you were. She was just that random girl who played violin in advanced orchestra who they had no idea why Shawn hung out with her. 

Still hung out with her. And let her come with him on his summer north american tour and even come with him on some of his European dates. 

It still warmed your heart that those girls in that group that he had hung out with, those girls on the dance team and volleyball team, the girls he had over the years kissed and fooled around with, those girls who were everything that you thought that you weren’t were second to you. 

“Those are your friends, not mine.” You shot back, expecting to get the usual, ‘I know you aren’t their biggest fans, but you only have to be nice. They aren’t that bad.’ That was the spiel you usually got whenever you complained about having to associate with his friends. But this time, he just shrugged, probably too preoccupied before this show that he, for some reason, was totally freaked out about. 

“You are not wrong.” He strummed the last chord that you couldn’t remember the name of and he looked almost satisfied. But he was never completely satisfied with his guitar, but you had gotten used to it. He looked up at you, actually looking at you for the first time other than some upward glances as he was tuning. A small smile slowly stretching across his lips, and you started to feel almost self conscious. You were only wearing jean shorts and the long sleeve concert t-shirt since you had to help out with the VIP stuff since you were there that early. You had kicked off your black high top converse earlier, so you were only in some ankle socks, and you felt so incredibly exposed, which was dumb, Shawn was your best friend, you shouldn’t feel this way. 

Even if you had been harboring some incredibly low-key feelings for him since the eleventh grade. But you never acted on them since he never hinted. So everything stayed just about the same. 

“I’m lucky to have you.” He smiled, only taking a few more moments to take all of you in before you were interrupted by a knock, most likely his manager, which he knew was code for ‘time to get the hell out here stop tuning that damned guitar.’ You were glad you didn’t have to say anything sappy back, you were incredibly horrible at those kind of things, but Shawn knew you loved and appreciated him. “It appears it is time to go.” He grabbed his guitar and held his hand out for you to take. You looked at him puzzled but he only smiled. 

“Tonight I’m gonna need you out there cheering me on from offstage. I’m about to puke.” He chuckled, and you wearily took his hand, hating going out there with all of the adults and Geoff. You really didn’t like Geoff all that much either. He honestly just really irritated you. Then again, everyone did. Shawn led you over to the door of his dressing room and the minute he opened it, you pulled your hand away, your arm dropping to your side. You both quickly made your way to the front by the stage where he got the spiel, got the speech on how he was gonna do amazing, and how there were tons of girls out there to see him. They did the chant, and he was just about ready to get out on that stage. “Hey!” Shawn called out, waving you over close to him. You had been out here a couple of times before he went on stage, but he had never done this. You furrowed your eyebrows, incredibly confused to say the least. 

“What do you need?” You questioned, crossing your arms over your chest. “Don’t you have a crowd to preform for?” You teased, nudging him just a bit with your right elbow. He gave you a small smile, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red. They did that sometimes. 

“Okay, remember when I would preform at school talent shows and small concerts and stuff and I would get super nervous?” He started, starting to fiddle with the strap of his guitar. You nodded quickly, hoping he’d get on with it, knowing it’d be you that was being yelled at for holding him up. “Well, I’m gonna need one of those pep talks you used to give me.” He spit out, almost nervous that you would say no. But without even a yes, you got into the stance, straightening your spine, placing your hands on his shoulders, locking your knees into place. You hadn’t done this in what felt like forever. 

“Okay Mendes, listen up, you are amazing you are talented, you are going to kill it. There are a shitton of people out there who payed a crapload of money to see you, and you are going to put on one damn good show. Who cares about those kids from school who may or may not judge you, you are the pop star, they aren’t. You are attractive you are talented, and you are going to kill it. Okay?” You shook him a little at the end and he quickly nodded. 

“Okay.” He agreed. But what he did next was what shocked you, what caused your heart to literally drop nineteen stories down into your stomach. He pressed his lips onto yours, but only for a couple of seconds. It sure did feel like half of a century, maybe even a full one. All the loud and all the screams from the audience weren’t even audible. His lips on yours and everything didn’t matter. Until he pulled away and he was starting to get dragged back onstage. “We can talk um… After?” He stuttered as he was walking onstage. All you could do was nod. 

You were physically in shock, your whole body tingling as you simply stood offstage, not really in anyone’s way. Everyone was bustling around, but all you could think about was how your best friend just kissed you, and it sure as hell meant something. 

“What the hell was that?” Geoff asked, and you looked to see him crinkling his nose almost in disgust. He wasn’t exactly your biggest fan. 

“No idea.” The concert literally flew by, you heard Geoff say a couple of more things to you, but your head didn’t quite register them. You heard the setlist played out, you even saw Shawn run backstage to get to the smaller stage. You were just, shocked. The only word you could think of was shocked. 

But, like clock work every night, Shawn walked offstage after treat you better and wrapped you in a hug, pulling you close to his body, you could feel all of his sweat and heat radiating off of his body. 

“Okay, I can’t talk right now, I have to go see my friends, and so do you so you also can’t talk right now.” You grumbled as you wrapped your arms around him, not caring at all he was a gross sweaty mess. “But, I will tell you, I have some hardcore feelings for you. Which we will discuss later.” He shrugged at the last part, and you pulled away for a moment, his arms still supporting your waist. 

“Well, that works out well, because I have some hardcore feelings for you too.” A warm smile spread across his lips, and he pressed yet another kiss to yours. And it was even better the second time. 

author’s note// I LOVE this it’s poor writing but the plot is so sweet and tbh relatable anyways hi school started this week i hope i die soon

2

Demons in the Dark

Pairing: Moc!Dean x reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff if you squint real hard

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N:  Trying desperately to wrap up my 30 days of Jensen and Dean. This is fic number TWENTY-SIX. The line requested was, “I guess that’s what I do. Let down the people I love.” by @plaidstiel-wormstache I know you asked for fluff, and you’ll get it after we muddle through a bit of angst. I apologize, love, but thanks for celebrating with me! This idea popped into my head after seeing THIS gifset. Season 9, Mark of Cain, Dean breaks my heart. He holds a piece of my heart. I had to write this after seeing that gifset. He had to know he wasn’t alone that the things he told himself in the dark, were absolutely and utterly untrue.

Feedback Appreciated

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Love Interests.

The Narrative Necessity and Purpose of Jon and Sansa Being Confronted by Them.

Alright I have questions. So many questions, on Sansa and Littlefinger’s scene in which they discuss Jon bending the knee to and possibly marrying Daenerys.

*Note: A previous, much shorter edition of this was written on @tiny-little-bird​ ‘s gifset. I’ve added a lot more to this. If you read my earlier version follow the ~’s for the added commentary.

I’ve seen a lot of shippers ask why have this scene? Why mention Daenerys’s appearance? Why mention Jon marrying Daenerys? Why, why, WHY???

Before I continue let me just be very frank and say that when I’m being analytical of the show, I try very hard to stray away from shipping goggles. I’m very particular in the way I read scenes. I never look for hints of my ship, because I know that if I do that the whole story and all dialogues will be distorted to me, and I’d risk the possibility of losing their essence. With that said, for the past two days I thought I had a clear understanding of this scene. Lord Baelish is pushing for what he’s been hoping for since he used the KotV to aid the North; for Sansa to take over the North as Queen, so that when he ‘marries her’ he’d have power over, not only the Vale, but all of the North as well. That much is clear, right?

“Who should the North rally behind? The trueborn daughter of Catelyn and Ned Stark born here at Winterfell, or a motherless bastard born in the South?”

“You’re the Lady of Winterfell. The King chose you to rule in his absence, and rule you have, wisely, ably. They say that they respect you, some may ever prefer you.”

We have seen him [ineffectively] planting these seeds into Sansa. We have seen him at her side, advising her, so that her rule in the North may be prosperous in the hopes the North will succumb to her rather than Jon.

So, okay, Littlefinger wants Sansa to rule the North and he uses the idea of Jon marrying a Targaryen Queen to nudge Sansa into action. The problem is that Jon has already bent the knee. Jon and Daenerys are already allies. And Sansa is already upset about that. That’s how the scene begins. We get a shot of Sansa reading a raven from Jon, she’s clearly annoyed and frustrated because; “[Jon’s] never asked for my opinion, why would he start now?” He’s “surrendered the northern crown without consulting [Sansa]” He’s already “pledged to fight for Daenerys Targaryen”

~SO, my question is not: Why does Littlefinger bring it up? because the answer to that is plain as day. My question is why do the writers have Littlefinger bring it up if Sansa is already upset and frustrated at Jon for bending the knee?

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anonymous asked:

I saw your comment to the other anon. I don’t see it as a boner scene. Dean was questioning how Cas got out of Purgatory, discussing this with Sam. Then Cas walks in while their talking about him, and Dean gets shifty and uncomfortable, because he didn’t want to be overheard. It’s the same expression that Dean had when he put itching powder in Sam’s underwear... he almost gets caught when Sam suddenly walks out of the bathroom.

Hi there! It’s taken me a while to reply because I wanted to gather comparison gifs and cover everything you’ve said here, for the sake of clarity and completeness. So. Regarding this post. Or maybe even this one. I had several similar anons yesterday. :)

I think you might be one of the very few people in the universe who look at this:

And not think he’s having some sort of pants-related situation here… For reference, this is the scene I was talking about in 1.03 (thank you canonspngifs for actually having a gif of this!):

Not to mention the fact that THE CAMERA ITSELF is telling us, subconsciously, how to “read” the scene in 8.07. We start at Cas’s feet as he enters the room, and the camera (which is “Dean’s gaze” in this instance because it’s HIS reaction to Cas the camera gave the most attention to) slowly pans up Cas’s body exactly the way it stereotypically does to a beautiful woman making this sort of entrance. It’s referred to as the “male gaze” and I’ve got MULTIPLE posts on my blog dating back YEARS about this bit of film shorthand. (x)

THIS RIGHT HERE IS A ROMANTIC TROPE IN ITSELF. Think about a movie where the woman descends a flight of stairs to meet her date. The camera ALWAYS slowly pans up her body this way, as the date’s POV reaction– HIS GAZE ON HER– and this sort of shot is NEVER NOT AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ATTRACTION.

Supernatural has played with this exact sort of shot before… in 3.04– with Dean in Castiel’s position and BELA in Dean’s position: (x)

Immediately after this, Bela admires him, suggests they have “angry sex,” and Dean replies by acting all awkward and telling her not to objectify him… so… the show itself is telling us what this shot is about. It’s objectifying him. Just like he does with Cas in the boner scene. Just like he did with Wendy the waitress in the booty shorts, who he pointed at and called “fun.”

But the scene in 1.17? When he was nearly caught tampering with Sam’s clothes? PUTTING ITCHING POWDER IN THEM?! It was a humor beat and he over-acted being like “shit I shouldn’t be here, he’ll know I did something to his trousers.” Here’s a gif of his reaction face, his “trying way too hard to play innocent” face: (x)

That gifset I pulled this from is linked at the x above this gif. Go look at it in context. Dean never leers at his brother’s body. By the time the camera does the slow pan down Sam’s body as he goes to put on his clothes, DEAN ISN’T EVEN IN THE ROOM ANYMORE. The shot down Sam’s body isn’t informing someone in-story’s pov of Sam, it’s literally fanservice for the tv viewer.

Dean looks guilty, because half a second before he turned around and made this face, he was dumping itching powder in Sam’s jeans.

And I don’t see ANYTHING remotely similar between Dean’s facial expression here to the one in 8.07. Or to the one in 1.03. The context of the entire scene is completely different.

In fact, his body language here is far more similar to this scene in 3.04:

or this scene in 4.06 (for comparison, it’s a male deputy he thinks is awesome here):

You can’t just match up “dean is flustered” with anything and make it prove the conclusion without context.

Because we KNOW how Dean reacts to a PLATONIC FRIEND doing the whole MONTAGE! courtesy of Charlie in 8.20. Here, have a convenient compare/contrast gif post:

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/103404745338/carry-on-my-wayward-nun

I also saw a gif set going around in the last week or so that was so unsettling I didn’t reblog it, but now I kinda wish I had… It took the scenes from Charlie’s “montage” there in that previous link, and replaced Dean’s platonic thumbs-up reaction with how he reacted to Cas in 8.07… and it’s just like NO, NO NO NOPITY NOPE NO.

But you want Dean being flustered in front of someone he has canonically had sex with? Okay, please have this from 5.13, where Dean was enjoying a dream about strippers that Anna barged in on. He goes from aroused to surprised to embarrassed in about 2 seconds flat:

His reaction to Sam almost catching him mid-prank in 1.17 is FAR more similar to other times he’s been caught wrong-footed. Like in 7x06 and pretending he doesn’t know Bobby to Frank. Goofy scenes, mostly. And ones that aren’t sexually charged. it’s Jensen’s deliberately over-acting comedy face. All it’s missing is the “Comedy Elbows.”

Originally posted by sensitivehandsomeactionman

I think this post is long enough now… >.>

hi, i’m gonna show you how i coloured the training scene gifs from this gifset bcs i know it’s a god damn struggle to get that stupid magenta red blue out of Magnus face and i know this may not be the perfect colouring for it yet but!!! i want to share it with you guys!! 

i’ll show you how to go from this

to this!

the tutorial is under the cut :) 

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Jon, Looking Back, and “The Wars to Come”

So I have gotten close to ten asks since the episode about how either the Jon/Dany goodbye was “cold” or asking my opinion on why Jon “doesn’t look back” at Dany. So I’d like to address this and just give my two cents on their relationship development in 7.05 and the meaning/significance of their last words to each other on the beach. This is huge so I put it under a cut!

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anonymous asked:

Wait so I just saw a gifset of Stiles looking at Derek's initials on the bookshelf at school and I'm confused now. The fire happened when Derek was 15/16 so he was probably a sophomore or a junior and we were led to believe that Derek and Laura left town after the fire. But the initials thing is something that the seniors do so either Derek did it as a junior or sophomore or he and Laura stayed in town longer than we thought. Just wondering what your take on this was.

People interpret this scene differently but I like to think of it as Stiles seeing the random initials DH and being reminded of Derek. I don’t think they are Derek’s at all. Rather, I just think Derek is on Stiles’ mind, I think he misses him, and when he sees the initials DH it reminds him of Derek and it makes him happy. 

I mean, you could read that scene in many different ways. Derek’s friends could have added his initials for him after the fire and Derek could have told Stiles about it off screen; maybe he told him on one of their stake outs that summer they bonded. Derek talking about how he never got to finish school while Stiles slurped on the milkshakes Derek reluctantly (but not so reluctantly) bought him. 

I think it was @strictly-chaotic who made a crack post in which Stiles texted Derek after seeing what he thinks are his initials saying, “I saw your initials, so I put mine beside them” and attaches a photo. And Derek replies with something like, “Stiles…those are not my initials…..wait, did you just write your initials beside some random dude’s…..with a heart next to it????” 

I personally also like to think that Derek and Stiles talk via text after Derek leaves and Stiles happens to mention they are all going to write their initials later that day, and Derek just responding “I never got to do that”. And so, OF COURSE, Stiles probably breaks into the school before class or goes after class waaaay before the official group meet up time to write Derek’s initials for him. And maybe Stiles sends Derek a video of him doing it (he probably gets Derek to send him a sample of his hand writing because “it’s got to be accurate, big guy”) and so, later, when he goes to write his own initials, he sees Derek’s again and writes his beside it; a bitter sweet smile on his face because he misses his Sourwolf and isn’t that….not as surprising as he thought it would be.

anonymous asked:

hey there, so i always wondered about the purpose of dean's church confession in 10x16, what the hell were the writers trying to tell us?

Originally posted by dmitri-mish-ackles

Well…. it’s a part of Deans whole storyline since the pilot - a component of the exposition that his 12 years of story that we have been watching is all emotionally driven, a character based arc rather than plot based, all centering around Dean’s journey to self acceptance and self worth.

It’s also in large part a part of my #performing!dean tag and I imagine every meta writer’s performing!dean tag as performing!dean is a large part of this arc, the deconstruction of which leads to his self acceptance and works alongside his self worth.

At this point in 10x16, Dean is realising that he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t think he deserves to die…

Remember all Dean’s self hatred, all his self loathing and feelings of worthlessness from earlier seasons? Remember how he constantly put himself in harms way because he felt that any life, anyones, was pretty much more worthy of living than his own?

Well, that has changed by this point. He still cares for others and their lives in a massive way and will still put himself in harms way to protect them but it isn’t with the same nonchalance towards his own life, he isn’t actively thinking that his own life is worthless anymore…

Remember this?

Originally posted by castielsource

Remember how, over the whole show but particularly since Hell Dean has grown, has evolved, not to change himself as such but to change the way he sees and portrays himself to others? How he has started up to 10x16 to let some of his guard down? How only 4 episodes earlier he admitted to liking and listening to Taylor Swift in front of Sam for example? How he has become more emotionally available with Cas since purgatory?

This is all part of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean and his emotional journey to self acceptance… Self acceptance is for me Dean’s whole arc since the pilot. It is with key points such as going to Hell, the introduction of Cas and more recently the introduction of Amara as the exposition but then Mary as her extension as the actual catalyst that we have come to the climax of this arc for Dean in 12x22.

There are moments throughout the show though that of course build to this moment and this is just one of them. The others being for example:

1x09: Dean walks away from Sam to call John about going back to their family home, facing the ghost of Mary, he breaks down and sobs into the phone, revealing that he is an extremely emotional person and family is his weakness but also his biggest focus in life.

2x11: Dean asks Sam why everyone assumes they’re gay, Sam tells Dean he is a bit butch and seems like he is overcompensating (gee, ya think?!).

2x13: Dean and Cassie: basically a huge exposition for the fact that Dean portrays himself as a give-a-shit lothario but when it comes to it he loves and he loves hard, he’s a gentle lover and fell in love with a passionate woman who only left him because she thought it was for his own good and what he wanted, they argue, they stare deeply at each other, they fight, because they care. Sam even tells Dean:

“What’s interesting is you guys never really look at each other at the same time. You look at her when she’s not looking, she checks you out when you look away. It’s just a… just an interesting observation in a… you know… observationally interesting way.”

I even did a gifset parallel with 12x19 of this episode cos dude, exposition much. She’s even called Cassie FFS *Tink looks into the camera*. gifset here.

4x01: Cas looking straight into Dean’s heart and seeing that he doesn’t think he deserves to be saved etc. leading to Dean then convincing Cas himself that they deserve to have Free Will, that they can save the world and they do by s5. *sobs a little at how beautiful this story is and it’s only 2 years in*

The whole of season 7: Dean is an alcoholic mourning Cas and worried for his brother then also mourning Bobby, feeling his life is worthless if he can’t save and protect his family.

MoC era: Dean loses what makes Dean Dean. He becomes hard, full of anger and pain, without the soft side. This is frightening and he would rather die than become like this.

Season 11: Amara is a complete exposition of Dean’s emotions, as I wrote it a few long posts about Amara, search #amara on my blog but here and here are the main ones. She exposes that he feels love but also shame, that he is holding himself back from something (add this to 11x11′s: follow your heart and all the heart / love themes of the early season right before Cas gets taken away and Dean spends the last half of the season desperately trying to get him back while Amara, all powerful being has to use Cas to get to Dean).

Season 12: Mary is the extension of Amara, she is the catalyst for Dean to finally face himself, all this has built and built to the point where, nearing 40 years of age he finally doesn’t want to sublimate anymore, he doesn’t want to hide. This post is my explanation for how Mary is exactly what he needed at this point, I think I wrote it mid season, but it was clear by 12x03 that this was her role and of course 12x22 was a great big wave hello and goodbye to Performing!Dean, another meta I wrote called “Dean Winchester is going to die” after 12x11 harked at the fact that this was coming and wasn’t it GLORIOUS?!

In his confrontation with Mary in 12x14 Dean essentially tells Mary that he thinks he deserves better, this is a huge deal for Dean - a HUGE deal for his self worth arc. He then in 12x22 addresses the fact that his upbringing wasn’t FAIR, that he didn’t cope well with it, that it has damaged him. He lets his wall down, he also literally blows down the walls of the bunker with the grenade launcher, the metaphorical taking down his walls, even Toni says it was a metaphor to hammer this home to us…

So yeah 10x16 is one of the key components throughout the years to show us that Dean’s story is all about his emotional journey to self acceptance of his softer side, the side that he hides by using the Performing!Dean facade, also he talks about people, feelings that he wants to experience differently to before or for the first time…  make of that what you will but for me…

In 10x14 just two episodes earlier we have: Dean choosing Cas over Crowley (to give the first blade to) right after a deleted scene in which Crowley and Cas have a whole conversation about Dean being CAS’s boyfriend rather than Crowleys, and Crowley telling Cas that he is running himself into the ground trying to save him, also Cain paralleling Cas with Colette after telling Dean he knows him.

Not long before that we had the burger date where Dean asked Cas to take him out if he got really bad with the MoC then there was the episode where they were heavily paralleled with a married couple where the wife had to let the husband go for fear of killing more people I mean, not to mention the whole Demon!Dean arc where Cas sacrificed himself to save Dean, where Dean knows it and seems to be… clearing a space on his bed but Cas is pulled away by Heaven again, I love this visual metaphor, where then Destiel is actually brought up on screen in 10x05…. you cannot tell me that…

Originally posted by foxylosu

So yeah, this scene in 10x16 is just part of the overall exposition for Dean’s emotional journey throughout the show, it’s a part of the intricately woven pattern of Performing!Dean and Destiel that alongside other aspects of his journey make up a large part of Dean’s overall self acceptance and self worth arc, with the Performing!Dean side climaxing in 12x22, we are just waiting for the second part now… 

John and Mary’s A+ parenting

If season 12 has shown us anything, it’s how very similar John and Mary actually are. Here are some of the most obvious instances:

1. Not taking it for valid/not being happy about their son’s rightful anger and/or hurt and trying to forbid it:

“You’re right. Although I’m not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you’re right.” - John to Dean (1x21), after Dean calls him out on the fact that they were never able to reach him when they needed him. Because it’s completely unreasonable for Dean to feel angry and deeply hurt that John didn’t bother picking up the phone when Dean was dying.

“Do not give me the face.” - Mary to Dean (12x13), when he rightfully looks at her in utter disappointment and betrayal after her confession. Dean didn’t even say anything yet, but apparently he’s not even allowed to look at her in a certain way to express his feelings.

2. Looking pleased and proud when their son is catering to their every need, while he puts himself and his own choices/wishes last:

John’s speech to Dean in the hospital (2x01) and his elated smile while he talks about how proud he is of Dean for taking care of Sammy and their whole family his entire life, sacrificing his own childhood in the process. And then basically telling him to continue to do so.

Mary looking so delighted and pleased (12x14) when Dean tells her that she can make her own choices and his feelings on them don’t matter.

3. Forcing one of their children into the position of having to choose between their parent or brother, and thus causing a rift in their relationship:

John’s parentification of Dean and making him responsible for Sam’s well-being, while at the same time brainwashing him into following his orders which more often than not had nothing to do with Sam’s best interests. Thus putting Dean into the impossible position of making both of them happy with his actions (basically all their childhood and season 1).

Mary trying to convince Dean to talk to her and agree with her on working with the BMoL and when it doesn’t work, contacting Sam even though she knows that Dean is completely against it. Thus playing/manipulating them against each other and forcing Sam into the situation to pick between his mom and his brother (12x14).

4. Lamenting about what they want for their children, instead of asking them what they actually want/need.

“I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want….I want Mary alive. It’s just….I just want this to be over.” - John to Sam (1x21). It would have been in John’s power to give them at least some of these things. He could have encouraged Sam to go to college and he could have given Dean a stable home while growing up. Nobody forced him to drag his children around the country and letting them live in shitty motel rooms, when they needed exactly the opposite. But his thirst for revenge and his guilt were stronger than his need to provide some safety and support for his children.

“We’ve got a real shot here. A world without monsters. A world where you and Dean don’t have to hunt, where you can have normal lives. (…) You were going to school, to college. (…) That’s why I’m doing this. That is what I’m fighting for.” - Mary to Sam (12x14). A lovely thought, sure. But does she ever ask if that’s even what they want anymore? Sam tells her that he chose this life. He’s been content with his life and hunting during the last two seasons and at peace with himself like we’ve never seen before. Dean even told her in the very first episode after she came back that this is their life and that they’re doing something good and that it’s worth it. They’ve grown up and their lives may not be what Mary envisioned, but her desire to change the status quo comes from her own needs and guilt and nowhere else.

5. Abandoning their sons when they need them and only showing up when they feel like it/need something.

John leaving them alone for days/weeks in shitty motel rooms when they were only children. John not being accessible for them, when they desperately tried to contact him (1x09, 1x12). John deciding they’re better off on their own (1x16). John leaving Dean to rot in jail and when Dean ended up at Sonny’s place instead, taking him away when he needed him with no regard to what was going on in Dean’s life at this point (9x07). To name a few instances.

Mary leaving (12x03), when Dean and Sam were so excited and happy about getting a chance to know her and be a family. Leaving, despite Sam having told her just before that having her here fills in the biggest blank in his life (12x02). Leaving, despite the way Dean physically recoils from her when she tries to touch him because she’s hurting him so deeply by doing it (12x03). And then staying away from them, barely making any effort to get to know them, and only reaching out to them when she needs something from them (12x12, 12x13, 12x14).

6. Not being a mom/dad first.

“I stopped being your father and I became your drill sergeant.” - John to Sam (1x20). John was always “Sir” first. He was their drill sergeant, as he himself puts it. He expected blind obedience, instead of offering guidance and support. He didn’t even bother celebrating birthdays or holidays with his children.

“I am your mother, but I’m not just a mom. And you are not a child.” - Mary to Dean (12x13), after he asks her to try and be their mom for once. He never asked her to be “just a mom”. But he asked her, quite rightfully, to put them first for once. To think about how it’s been for them. And to have her throw those ugly words “You are not a child” in his face in response, when that’s exactly what his life has been like ever since he was four years old, was the worst thing to witness. Also - because I mentioned it for John, too - Christmas and Dean’s birthday have come and gone since Mary is back and considering the way Dean is being so openly disappointed about the lack of time she’s spent with them, I doubt she was there for either of those days.

I’m sure there are even more examples, but my heart hurts too much right now thinking about this. Maybe I’ll add things later (Mary is still around to provide more evidence after all).

I would have loved to make a gifset of all these instances, but sadly I haven’t got enough skill. If anyone wants to make one based on this post I’d be eternally grateful!

tonystarkism  asked:

YOUR GIFS ARE MAGIC AND RAINBOWS (literally)!!! A tutorial on how you use/choose gradients to create colour porn gifsets, pretty please? Love you, you know it <3

I LOVE YOU <3 thank you so much!

Gradients will trasform your gif from this:

to this:

Examples of colour porn gifsets using gradients: x, x and x.

Since this has been requested a few times, I’m gonna start by giving a few tips and then we’ll move to a tutorial.

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anonymous asked:

i love jack a lot but i don't get everyone's excitement about dean eventually adopting him. like why would you want to force him into another parental role with a kid with unstable powers JUST when he's escaping his role with sam? i'm not accusing you or anything i'm just really really frustrated at fandom's mentality

Yeah, there’s some good posts around discussing the various metaphorical and direct representations of the bad family dynamics going on here. I think it’s possible to enjoy and dislike the same thing from different angles. I LOVE Jack choosing Cas as his father and setting his personal compass by Cas. It’s perfect. But for Cas’s sake I’m genuinely skeeved out by it because of the way Jack(’s powers) latched onto him from the womb and that it is basically what I figured all along - that Jack himself is an innocent sweetie pie because he has a soul and he is therefore gifted free will and a blank slate to be what he wants and is at the very least not inherently evil… 

But his powers still did something because of his increased awareness and powers in the womb that I don’t like, which is… convincing… Cas to be his guardian. Cas being forced into the dynamic is one of the metaphorical parallels to the brothers’ issues which I’ve enjoyed the meta about, because of course Cas can still love Jack and all and have meant it because I don’t think he wasn’t acting from the heart in 12x23 because have you met Cas, that was a classic example of his heart on display. And I’m actually hoping they do have a sweet dynamic when Cas gets back. But I still don’t like HOW it happened, in the exact same way I really dig sweet moments between Sam and Dean which don’t have the complicated baggage, but I can still be uncomfortable about romanticising other parts of their relationship, and critical of how Dean was forced to parent Sam… 

So yeah. Anyway, I think the thing with Dean and Jack is that it’s the goal - Sam already likes Jack and wants to give him a chance. Cas has his connection to him already and it’s unlikely he’ll hate Jack on his return :P Dean is not wrong to be upset and critical based on the information he has like @k-vichan‘s post I just recently reblogged was explaining (Sam hasn’t even told him on camera that Jack said that Cas is his father which means until we get past the point of disbelief that he hasn’t said it off-camera that’s still something we might find out later from Dean’s POV to affect how he feels about him. Although I’m usually careful not to get over-attached to what hasn’t been said on camera in case the writers start assuming it’s obvious they shared it and leave an emotional gap… But this is such a big thing it might HAVE to be said on screen or else be a gap.)

Like… Obviously the emotional hook for “coming to like Jack” is something that falls on Dean to have while the others are already seeming to be clear on it. He’s the obstacle - the thing standing between Jack and a happy families thing (so it might be a long haul or Dean is just starting to warm up when things go bad either with Cas’s return or something that happens with Jack for what will be a frankly bizarre season if they don’t tease him ~going dark~ to test him at some point). It’s like a will they won’t they on Dean liking Jack :P 

And I think that in this case it’s not forcing anything on Dean when he comes to NATURALLY adopt random youngins and other hapless friends (like Garth, tbh :P) but that he has to want to do it and it is something he does instinctively because he’s a nurturer and has a caring soul. Maybe because of the Sam stuff but it’s not weird when he does it to, like, Krissy or something. It’s one of his softer traits but in this case it has mytharc relevance, since Jack is, WE can tell, really sweet, but Dean is in no position to see him for what he is, which may compromise them looking after him, and even if Jack is sweet and squishy right now, he has cosmic powers and intentionally or not he’s going to be dangerous on a huge level even if it’s just for drawing attention. I think Dean coming to like him will play a big part in reconciling this whole situation just because he’s the one who instinctively doesn’t like Jack already. And that’s something where he’s messed up with grief and hasn’t seen anything to convince him Jack isn’t a problem, so it’s set up to be a bigger struggle for him.

And that probably also plays into Dean as the emotional centre of the show - that Sam is usually dealing with the plot stuff head on, while Dean is the filter we struggle with it through. I think Dean not trusting Jack is another way of drawing out uncertainty and tension about Jack in the narrative. Is Sam wrong to trust him? Is there still something hinky between Jack and Cas? Will Jack turn bad? Even if it’s seeming quite clear that Jack is not as bad as Dean thinks by far, and Sam’s made the right call here, to go with his confidence in leadership and standing up for himself arc, playing the reconciliation to Jack’s presence in their lives through Dean is giving us (or, well, the surface level read of the show, which I pay as much attention to as I can out of curiosity as a writer about stringing appearances and cheap drama out of more complex stories and I watch the episodes from the POV of “what is the show trying to tell us” before “what can I read into this”) a more drawn out exploration of who and what Jack is and the conclusion on what his character can be. 

And I think that means Dean will be challenging Jack too, and always probably be more on the side of checking if he really is what he seems or second-guessing his actions etc. It will give Jack something to grow and fight against, especially since people HATE letting Dean down and Dean is the moral centre of the show when it comes to love, humanity, what is the right thing to do, the free will choice, just generally a beacon of these themes. If Jack has to win Dean’s approval, it’s going to be a complex and satisfying story and a good way of proving we can definitively trust him. Not because Sam makes bad choices or because Jack doesn’t already seem like a good guy, but just because Dean has Standards which are so high you can define and navigate the story by them. Like Cas rebelling in 4x22. Or on the flip side, 6x20.

This is all kinda wishy washy stuff for later in the season that what we already have, though, and I don’t know how thoroughly others have thought it through or if I am missing some really obvious lines of thought here myself, but I don’t think the instinctive reaction that people are wishing Dean adopts Jack is all just forcing a new child on him, or that people think Dean shouldn’t come to that choice himself, and approve of Jack for real reasons. One of the short posts out there about it that I like is a line of spec that Dean will start to like Jack after he does a Benny - does something to save or help Cas that Dean can’t deny Jack is good any more after seeing. That’s not just wishing another child to look after on Dean, that’s a complicated series of Dean recognising Jack’s potential to be good and understanding him better or now having a motivation to reach out to him. 

And I do personally find it kind of creepy to be super gung ho about Jack as any of their children - Cas for the reasons I already said although I like it for Jack and would be open to Cas being cool with it :P But Sam and Dean as well because I think there’s a lot of point scoring going on with who gets to parent Jack like it’s a token or trophy for them, unlocking a whole bunch of parent headcanons and also, and I know it’s weird to say about a 1 day old baby, infantilising Jack. I think he’s already starting to get an idea of the more complex stuff and a lot of his literal born yesterday mannerisms will disappear as he gets older, since he has an adult intellect to deal with the world, so I’m very curious about his character growth. 

I think it’s just a fandom thing to be eager for the main characters you care about to have fun relationships and the idea of just giving them a kid can be appealing to some people, but it kinda weirds me out. I saw a gifset of the father reveal to Sam captioned with “Sam realises he’s an uncle” and I like that a lot more because it emphasises his brother relationship to Cas, and puts Jack in that context to him. I think since Jack said Cas is his father, “parenting” just means “we are responsible for guiding this young soul” not “I will be his father” and Sam and Dean are basically his uncles, not surrogate fathers, and I’m pretty much just gonna treat it that way, personally, since it’s less skeevy to me. That’s a YMMV thing, though, so I’m not saying you can’t enjoy the dad TFW stuff, I just don’t wanna :P 

(The Claire stuff was different since they didn’t have a whole bunch of responsibility over her and the episodes she was in never made it weird, and it was a side storyline… With this it’s all such high tension it sort of feels to me like I need to draw much stronger lines, especially since with all the fatherhood parallels some/all of TFW are going to be examined through being John at some point or another… There is a LOT more going on with Jack that makes it complicated and fraught :P)

So… uh… tl;dr… I have no idea if I’m even answering your original thought any more :P Idk about the wider fandom of crack posts and cracky art, but I think the meta folks I follow are not being too weird about it or will at least entertain all the posts being critical or introspective about these dynamics and I think some crack posts are just made in the spirit of fun, though it doesn’t help NOT give the impression everyone’s gaga for dad TFW and not being very considerate of the deep dark meta stuff and character angst going on… :P 

A tale of two voice overs

There were two voiceovers in Season 7. Both told us one thing, but showed us another. By taking a closer look at the similarities between the two voiceovers, we could possibly have a clearer view on Jon’s actions at the end of S7.

Bran’s voiceover serves multiple functions. First, we are told that Jon Snow once again knows nothing: “Oh no, he’s having sex with his aunt!” and “wow…he’s not a bastard, he’s actually the rightful heir.” Second, it’s used to tell us Jon Snow’s thoughts. I can’t be the only one who’s wondering “Why is he doing this?” It’s the million dollar question. He hasn’t been very talkative around Dani since he left Winterfell (this isn’t just my opinion, it’s backed by empirical data  from @thelawyerthatwaspromised). Why is Jon Snow, a man who never makes the first move, knocking on her door? Why is he mixing up sex and politics? Why now, at this moment when they’re going up to Winterfell? Some exposition is necessary; however, I aim to show in this meta that it is exposition of the unreliable kind.

The voiceover also serves to tell the audience how to view the shag: “it’s not just sex, it’s something more!” Sex isn’t special to audiences anymore. They’re desensitized to it; otherwise, it’s just Mel and Stannis making adorable shadow babies together (and does anyone ship them? where’s the gifsets and fanfic? lmao). Similarly, think of all the other HBO dramas where characters get naked together (Boardwalk Empire, The Deuce, Sopranos, Deadwood just to name a few). Typically, it’s just a fuck. Sex isn’t love, nor does it signal the start of an epic love story. In fact, in most HBO dramas, it’s just an excuse to put some softcore porn on screen so subscribers will feel like their subscription fee is worth something. Kit Harington’s ass is paying for HBO’s catering bills.

In my view the Jonaries romance is very flimsy without this voice over. Remove it, and what do we have? Just sex. People might argue “But it’s Jon Snow! He’d never have sex with a woman he didn’t love!” However we know from his book character that he had sex with Ygritte long before he started to have feelings for her (if he ever did).  

People also argue the late timing of Jonaries could be used to indicate that D&D are gearing up for a love story involving Jon and Dani in S8. This argument goes something like: “It’s the last romance we’ve got, both characters are single, and time is running out.” However, if they built a “romance” in seven episodes, couldn’t they also do the same in six episodes for Season 8? Or more likely - couldn’t this romance crash and burn just as fast? I’m not convinced.

I believe that a pairing this depthless and mechanical would need a voice over to help it along. And that’s not just my opinion, many critics view this pairing in a negative light; they are either disgusted by the incest or find it as boring as a grocery list. 

Moreover, audiences had to be told “he loved her” because it wasn’t obvious otherwise. Note the phrases and what is indicated on screen. Rhaegar/Lyanna and Jon/Dani isn’t a comparison, it’s a contrast. The voiceover is telling us that Rhaegar loved Lyanna, while showing us a different relationship entirely - one that is based on deception. 

Yes, deception. What is my evidence for this? Tyrion’s voiceover. They used the same cinematic trick in his voiceover which occurred earlier in the season.

The earlier voiceover is designed to explain Tyrion’s battle strategy to take Casterly Rock in “The Queen’s Justice.” He tells us about a secret sea passage he used to smuggle whores in and out of the castle. In this voice over, Tyrion narrates, in inspiring language, how Dany’s forces will be victorious: 

But my sister’s armies fight for her out of fear. The Unsullied will be fighting for something greater. They will be fighting for freedom, and the person who gave it to them. They will be fighting for you. And that is why they will triumph.

And they do triumph. Tyrion’s voiceover is about love–love that an army has for its queen, just like Bran’s is about love between a dragon and a wolf (nevermind that the product of that love is Jon). But similar to the voiceover with Jon and Dani, what is shown on screen isn’t what happens. Jaime has pulled a deceptive military maneuver to draw Dani’s forces to Casterly Rock while moving to capture Highgarden and Dani’s ally the Queen of Thorns (deception #1). 

Also, Euron has pulled a deceptive maneuver by boat (deception #2), sneaking up behind Dani’s fleet and taking them unawares. 

The comparison between the two voiceovers doesn’t stop there. The viewers now know more information than Bran and Tyrion. Bran doesn’t know that Jon is fucking his aunt. Tyrion doesn’t know that Jaime and Euron have deceived him. Moreover, the effect of the deception on Jon and Tyrion is also similar. Jon Snow knows nothing - about his parentage. Tyrion knows nothing - about his own family. We see Tyrion’s distress about his battle plans going to shit, and we will likely see Jon’s distress about his (political? romantic?) plans doing the same thing in S8. Both swear allegiance to Dani, and both are now her advisors. As I indicated in another meta, Tyrion regrets betraying his family. Jon likely feels caught in a similar bind. These character parallels give me confidence that it’s not crazy to compare the two voiceovers and draw conclusions about their similarities.

Voiceovers in Game of Thrones are rare - and thank god, because they’re clunky and embarrassing. If you analyze these two instances, listening to what the narrator is telling you vs. watching what is shown in screen, then the similarities become clear. I believe Tyrion’s voiceover invalidates the “he loved her” line. We can’t trust it. It’s more likely that we are being told that something is off about Jon’s behavior. Is he is pulling a Euron/Jaime?

The Angst Corner

Warnings: Mild swearing, some anxiety, hints of self-doubt, okay there’s more anxiey and a panic attack. Also Anti being a massive jerk. 

Tag list: @musicphanpie-b, @imin-loveanon, @ordinary-chaos, @sandersandthesides, @ajumbleofwords, @demonickittykat, @zadi-jyne, @serenefreakgeek, @fandons-mangoes, @leesacrakon, @gayfagg, @tree4life25, @loverofpizzaandallthingssweet

Notes: Based on this post by @turquoisemagpie.  Don’t ask me how they got there or why they are there, just… enjoy this. I based Dark and Anti on my own hcs and theories that I believe, so they might not be the same as yours sssssh. I feel like this is slightly ooc (especially Dark) but hey, who cares, it’s just a fic, right? I’m not sure I like the ending, but I couldn’t think of any way to end this haha. And lastly, a thank you to @words-to-fuel-the-imagination, @ilovemyspoopydad and @demonickittykat for helping me out (: (I’m also pretty sure there’s some others, but tbh I forgot who did what lmao sorry. Thanks anyways (: ) Enjoy this lil fic.

Read on AO3 here

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hear you me (a cinderella story au): chapter one

fandom: riverdale

pairing: jughead jones and archie andrews, betty cooper and veronica lodge

word count: 7k

on ao3

summary:

Jughead Jones is antisocial and brooding, invisible to everyone except for his bestfriend Betty Cooper who works on the school newspaper with him. Due to his fathers death, he’s forced to be under the care of his step-mother, Penelope Blossom; doing chores for her and her twins, Cheryl and Jason.
Archie Andrews is Riverdale High’s star quarterback, who is adored by all. But despite his father’s wishes to work for the family business, Archie secretly aspires to be a musician.
Under the name ‘burgerboy’, Jughead confides to 'musicman’, someone he met on an online form for LGBTQ+ teens; which eventually turns into an online relationship. He has no idea that 'musicman’ is Archie Andrews, his ex-bestfriend who doesn’t even remember he exists.

a/n: hey guys! this fic was inspired by this gifset that compared jarchie’s make up scene in 1x02 to a cinderella story, and since i have no self control, i created this. please let me know what you think!

Jughead Jones was seven when his dad died. Back then he wasn’t known as Jughead, but by his birthname, ‘Forsythe Pendleton Jones III’, although Jughead didn’t really think that name was much better. ‘Jughead’ was a teasing name his step-siblings, Cheryl and Jason Blossom called him once their parents had married the year prior to his dad’s death. After his dad died, he let his real name die too- ‘Forsythe’ constantly reminded that his father was gone, as he was named after him. He would never forget what happened that June day, partly due to the nightmares he still had; but also because he was the last one to talk to his dad before he passed.

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Sometimes, Noora doesn’t understand how this is her life.

“Is he dead?”

She sighs and takes another sip of lukewarm (read: fucking freezing) coffee. Her legs, which had been folded up since about 3 in the morning, have finally gone from the charming pins and needles to just straight numb. Eskild is at the doorway of the living room, (his own steaming mug of coffee mocking her) as he nods to the lump on the couch. 

“Not yet.” The boy on the couch gives a small snuffle and Noora raises an eyebrow, “though he might wish he was when he wakes up.”

Eskild sighs nostalgically, “Those were the days.”

Those were the days

Noora snorts because she has been Eskild’s roommate for a while and she can assure all inquiring parties that those days were far from over. “Eskild, you literally crawled in the doorway Friday night. Like hands and knees crawled.”

“Touche, mon amour.” He blows on the rim of his mug, “So is this a thing now? Are we just collecting drunk strays?”

You started it, she wants to say, but it feels wrong to do so without Isak here to flip her off. But speaking of.

“Favor from our favorite wayward roommate.”

“Ah yes, how is baby Isak? I miss him.” Noora opens her mouth to respond but before the words can come, there is a faint groan, and then the boy on the couch wrinkles his nose. Eskild backs up, clutching his chest, and half hides behind the wall, “Never mind. Have fun with drunkie over there.”

“Last time you helped me with Elias!”

He was positively aghast, “Last time there was potential for a romantic connection! This is Jonas. I’d say Isak was straight before I’d say Jonas was… not straight. Now I have to go- my bunny slippers are not going to be a victim of boy vomit again.”

And with that, he disappears and Noora is left on her own. Perfect.

Jonas groans again, looking all too pitiful under wild and frizzy curls. Long dark lashes (and fuck Jonas for getting long dark eyelashes while she has to put on layers of mascara to look like she has lashes) flutter open, then there is a another groan, flutter closed, a louder groan, and finally flinch back open again.

Noora untangles herself from the chair and hovers over Jonas’s face, “If you throw up on me, I’m going to blast Justin Bieber so loud, he’ll be ringing in your ears for days.”

Jonas’s eyes were bloodshot and hazy, but they were attempting to focus. “Noora? What the fuck?”

“You’re hungover.”

“I think I’m still drunk,” he squints, “do you have a twin or am I seeing double?”

Noora hands him a glass of water, and when he spills it all over himself, holds it to his mouth, “This isn’t how i pictured my Saturday morning going.”

Jonas hums in agreement, and pulls away from the water, “Thanks.”

He leans back for a few moments, dark eyes flicking back and forth over Noora’s face under even darker eyebrows and Noora like, blinks and looks away, setting the abandoned water glass off to the side. 

“Huh,” Jonas says after a moment, but the sound is almost garbled. When Noora arches an eyebrow in question, shaky fingers come up, grazing over strands of escaped blonde hair from Noora’s bun, “Your hair is so beautiful.”

Then Jonas jerks back, takes a breath, and pukes all over the side of the couch and onto Noora’s favorite flower socks.

She has her phone connected to the loud-speaker blasting out ‘Baby’ as loud as it can go in seconds.

Imagine you being the one to piece Ivar back together

ONESHOT
Request:
 Hey you write for Ivar from vikings yeah? 😊 If so please can I make a request for Ivar x female!reader where they get into a bad argument about something and at one point he raises his voice/raises his arms and the reader instinctively flinches away from the movement. He immediately comforts her but feels guilty because he thinks she’s scared of him, but reader reassures him she still trusts and loves him? Thank you so much, appreciate it! X
Note: A little inspired because of that gifset from Ivar and Margrethe @whenimaunicorn posted recently. Hope  this is any good and it was like you imagined. I really loved writing it, have a weak heart for Ivar his vulnerability. <3

Words: 1715


Ragnar being back wasn’t really a present for the boys, especially when he asked each one of them to come with him back to England except for Ivar. You always hated it, how some people treated Ivar as the weak one while you knew for sure he was mentally the strongest of them all. But everywhere you came there was that silence, that tensing. Alsaug hardly talked, Sigurd and Ivar had more conflict that before and Ubbe and Hvitserk really didn’t care, they were drinking and eating while Ivar just looked in front of him, almost waiting for someone to take on his bad mood. But nobody did, being a friend of him, being in love with him maked you feel compassionate with his situation. If you had a bigger mouth you would confront Ragnar with the fact but you knew Ivar wouldn’t like that. And it wasn’t your business so you just stayed put, listening to the conversation that went fort and back between the brothers … except for Ivar. It felt like he wasn’t there, a ghost on a table for his brothers and mother while he was the most visible person for you. But you stayed out of it, knowing those  family matters weren’t easy to handle, centainly not when Aslaug stood in charge and Sigurd and Ivar were in the same room. Over the years you learned a big deal over the sons of Ragnar. It got you quite close in a friendship with Ivar, what started with him being so dominant around you. But you learned to handle and respect him in a certain way, evolving to a friendship. Althrought you felt more for him.

You were home, having no mother since bird and a father that was half the time away, you felt quite hollow in this house, scared almost. You were just pulling of your dress when you startled from the knocking on the door.
‘Who is it?’ You asked, pulling back that dress on.
‘You don’t get much visitors except for me so take a wild guess.’ The door swung open, you hand’t even the time to get it open for him before he crawled in. 
‘Ivar.’ You greeted him carefully. He was right, you didn’t got much visitors, you weren’t one of those popular slavegirls where Ubbe and Hvitserk ran after all the time. Maybe that’s why Ivar hang around you much, he had at least some kind of claim on you.
‘Father came,’ he began. You tied your dress back together and looked how he pulled himself on to your bed … althrought their was a table and chairs.
‘And?’
‘I’m going to England with him.’ He said with that confident smirk on his face. You opened your mouth, instincly wanting to congratulate him but on second thoughts you didn’t. Why would you? He was going away with his father, back to England, knowing out of the stories they weren’t that eager on inviting vikings, certainly not Ragnar. Half England probarbly wanted him dead. And Ivar was gonna join him, he couldn’t really blame you for being skeptical. ‘What is it?’ He signed. You opened your mouth, shut it again and went to sit aside him on the bed.
‘I just have my doubts.’
‘Wich doubts?’ He asked. You were glad he at least wanted to listen to your opninion on the matter.
‘It’s that your father isn’t really a hero over there, there are many christians who want him dead. And you are going with him,’ You didn’t finish your sentence, hoping he would get it on his own. But he didn’t or he didn’t want to admit to it.
‘What are you saying Y/n.’ He said almost inpatient. You sighed and took a deep breath.
‘Being concerned about you I don’t think it’s a good idea to go . It could get you killed, or worse captured.’ You explained in one large breath. His bleu eyes almost pierced through yours and you swallowed slowly, knowing this could go two ways. He was mostly calm around you but the last couple of days, since Ragnar returned he was a little short tempered. You saw him do already some things with his brother, you weren’t really jumping to meet that side of him to.
‘Because I’m a cripple, is that what you are saying?’ He asked you rather sharp. You looked down to the wooden floor, thinking how you could get this strarting argument turned in to no argument at all. When you looked back at him he was still looking at you with those almost harened hollow eyes.
‘No,’ you began steady. ‘I would say it to everybody. I’m just not sure if it is wise.’ You constructed your sentences in a way he could pick an insult out of it.
‘It’s my one change to go with my father.’
‘And maybe your last.’ You reacted on that, being honest now maybe wasn’t your best move.
‘I would rather die there aside my father than here among the people that so disgust me.’ He pointed to the door.
‘Ivar, you’re not thinking with a straight mind. Ragnar his return maked you all so tensed, placing your emotions into the situation. I don’t think you thought about it.’
‘Who are you to say what I can and can’t do!’ He yelled, trewing his arms up like he was going to hit you. And in a reflex you pulled away from the bed, away from him, away from his anger. While doing it you thought about the consequenties this could have. You never believed that he would hurt you. But you saw already so much of his anger towards others that it was an instinct your body produced being around him. And that instinct frooze him right on his place. You stayed on that distant, five steps away maybe, hardly more while you looked at him. He looked so distant, so angry while he slowly lowered his arms before his eyes looked back at you and your tensed body standing there. In seconds his mood turned around, you saw that vulnerability, that pain, the uncertainty in his always looking strong blue eyes. ‘You thought I would hurt you.’ He said. You felt your heart cracking open a little, afraid that the previous argument would change everything between you.
‘No.’
‘Why did you jump away then?’ He asked, not looking to you but to the floor. You felt guilty for still standing there while he got all wrapped up in his emotions. You walked back to the bed, sitting aside him, turning your body towards him.
‘It was a reflex Ivar. It didn’t mean a thing.’ You tried to reassure him. He looked at you, his strong blue eyes not so strong anymore.
‘You thought I was going to hurt you, like I do with everybody I know.’ He turned his eyes back to the wooden floor. You layed two fingers carefully under his chin, pulling his eyes right back to you.
‘Everybody is a little afraid of Ivar The Boneless, it isn’t a bad thing, you will do powerfull things with it. My body just reacted on the violence I already saw in my life. It has nothing to do with you, I know you won’t hurt me.’ You explained on a soft tone. His eyes traveled to your hand still stabilitating his fragile face.
‘But you are scared of me?’
‘Everybody always is Ivar. That doesn’t mean it effects me. You are my friend, I,’ you felt silence, looking away for a moment, doubting if you would say that. But when you turned back, saw that vulnerability again you knew it wasn’t something he showed everybody. ‘I love you more than I’m scared of you.’ You finally said. ‘And I don’t want you to go because I’m afraid that you will die, won’t return.’ You went futher. He cracked a little under those words. You hand fell back in your lap while some kind of disbelief filled his face. Aside his mother and brothers nobody really loved Ivar the Boneless, except for you. Because you saw his potential, the greatness, the tenderness of his heart. And surly now, the uncertainty in his eyes maked it even a better feeling than it already was. ‘You don’t believe me?’ You asked with a small smile on your lips. He looked back at you. You layed your hand against his jaw and pulled him closer, placing a kiss on his lips. His first reaction was to do nothing, but while you brought more pressure on his lips he opened them a little and answered yours in so much uncertainty. When you pulled back you let your forehead rest against his. He blincked his eyes, looked at you and a small uncertain smile came on his lips. ‘Go if you want to. Be great, be fearless, come back with fame. I will be here waiting.’ You stroke his jawline before you lost the contact with him and pulled back completly.
‘I will.’ He whispered. He looked aside to you and you smiled, a loving smile and he just watched you do it.
‘You can stay, if you want to.’ You nodded to the bed. He nodded, still in conflict with everything he felt of emotions.

But in the end of that night you laid aside him, gazing into the room and thinking of what you had accomplished while you listened to his steady breating aside you. You broke him a little, by pulling back on his reaction …. But you pieced him back together, even more than before. You felt him turn, a hand sneaking over your waist, pulling you closer. You turned his side. It was hard to see if he was sleeping, or preteding he was sleeping but it was a nice feeling. His lips rested against your shoulder, you felt his warm breath on your skin while his hand layed on your stomach, holding you close. Maybe somebody as ruthless and disturbed as Ivar needed some love in his life, maybe he had to learn how to love before he could grow even bigger. You knew one thing, Ivar wasn’t a bad person, it was the world that maked him bad.

I have no idea how this post is going to be received, but I’ve seen a few things today that set my teeth on edge.

This is a friendly reminder that fic writers and artists do what they do for free. People who run fic-finding blogs do what they do for free. People who make gifs do it for free. People who put together amazing rec lists do it for free. People who read and reblog every fic they come across do it for free. People who write amazingly-detailed, insightful or funny tags on their reblogs do it for free. And we get to enjoy the fruits of their labor. How cool is that? There’s so much amazing stuff out there for us to consume, and it doesn’t cost us a penny. It makes fandom fun and it makes fandom better.

And all of these people - the artists, the writers, the finders, the giffers, and the reccers - also have lives of their own. They go to school. They work full-time jobs. They have families and significant others and friends and hobbies. They have health problems. They have mental health issues. They have fandom for fun, and they have fandom to escape. Some people like to talk to anyone and everyone who hits up their inbox. Some people are more introverted. Some people prefer to keep a small circle of friends, or got cautious about making new friends after they’ve been burned a few times (haven’t we all run into toxic people online at some point?). Some people follow thousands of blogs. Some follow a few.

What they don’t have is a debt to fandom. They don’t actually owe anyone anything. Whether it’s an update on a multi-chapter, a response to a prompt, a new piece of art when someone requests it, a list of their favorite bed-sharing fics, a gifset, a like, a reblog, a comment, or a beta. 

(I’m not saying that feedback or likes/reblogs/comments aren’t important, obviously. *waves* Hi, I write fic. Of course it’s important. That’s not why I’m writing this.)

A lot of times people expect these things, and in some cases people demand these things. It’s not cool. And when the artist/writer/blogger doesn’t deliver, they get anon hate and snotty comments. One of the biggest complaints I’ve seen in the fandom - that good fics by lesser-known authors get ignored - is trying to be addressed by a new blog specifically devoted to promoting these authors. Amazing idea, right? Someone saw a problem and is making a genuine, good-hearted effort to fix it.

That blog is less than a day old, and they’ve already gotten anon comments along the lines of, “Why bother? It won’t help,” and “Why are you waiting before you start reccing? There are authors need your help now.” I repeat: that blog is less than a day old. Someone decided to take time out of their life to try and shed a spotlight on new/lesser-known authors - for FREE - and they’re already getting shit on.

So, I’m a writer. I don’t know how “famous” I am, or how famous other people think I am. I follow very few blogs because 1) I tried following hundreds of people when I first started on Tumblr and it got incredibly overwhelming for me, 2) I’ve gradually whittled my dash down to be as drama-free as possible, and 3) I follow authors and artists who I know from experience post quality content that I know I’ll love. And frankly, I can’t even keep up with everything they post and feel like crap when I fall behind on fic-reading.

Y’all, I work full-time. I have friends IRL and online. I follow a few blogs that make me happy. I try to write. I have serious struggles with depression sometimes. I hang out with my asshole cats. And I am tired. I don’t live in an online bubble to deliberately exclude people. All I do is try to make an online experience for myself that makes fandom more enjoyable for me, rather than more stressful.

I… don’t have any sort of grand thesis or conclusion here, other than we need to be nice to each other, and maybe take other people’s experiences into account when evaluating their behavior. And please, if you find yourself getting angry at authors or artists or gif-makers or rec blogs, remember that you’re getting angry at people who spend hours producing content for you to enjoy, for free. They never had to give you anything, but they still do.

To My fellow DC/DCEU fans

It’s no secret to anyone who had paid attention that the DCEU and it’s fandom has had to put up with a lot of shit: Bad reviews that got basic facts about the films wrong, vitriolic and disproportionate hatred for the films and Zack Snyder personally displayed seemingly any time he did anything, endless negative comparisons to Marvel and the MCU along with stupid insults from Their smug cast members, backhanded compliments and snide remarks from people who aren’t as clever as They think They are, endless negative rumors without a shred of proof to Their name and calls for a complete reboot or even for the rights to be given away completely to Marvel. Detractors tossed around buzzwords like ‘’gritty’’ and said the films lacked ‘’hope’’ and ‘’optimism’’ and went out of Their way to avoid saying anything nice about Them or anyone involved and acted like complete pricks to fans. Tags got clogged with moronic posts from people barely a step above trolls. Gifsets and positivity posts got hijacked, fans were out right insulted and told They were ‘’stupid’’ and had ‘’bad taste’’ and people couldn’t praise Marvel or another DC property without insulting the current films. I wrote a post around the time of BvS http://comingupforblair.tumblr.com/post/142890316123/to-be-honest-even-though-its-a-film-ill-defend about how hard seeing it get ridiculed and insulted was for us after all the shit we’d been through and those feelings only increased as the year went on.

It seemed as though the films would never get the respect that They deserved, that we would either lose something we cared about deeply or keep it and have to spend all our time defending it from people who tried to make us feel ashamed of what we love, seemingly without consideration or empathy for what They mean to us. We never lost faith in the studio or Their abilities but it seemed hopeless that we would ever see the films get the love that They deserve.

Then Wonder Woman happened.

It’s difficult to overstate just how great it feels to see a DCEU film get this kind of respect and love from people in the mainstream. To see it get held up as equal and even superior to the rest of the genre. To see Gal Gadot who has gotten endless shit from the moment she was announced finally be respected. I don’t know what the future holds. JL will likely get torn to shreds but I have high hopes for Aquaman and every other film doing well. But that doesn’t really matter.

Wonder Woman showed the world that the DCEU can go the distance and that’s all I wanted.

Through it all, throughout all the insults and negative comparisons, throughout every bullshit rumor and half-assed criticism, through every article about Gal Gadot being too skinny or not having armpit hair and generally trying to dull our excitement for this film, through every idiot who suddenly gained a business degree and tried to say how the DCEU was a financial failure and everyone who hyperbolically treated the DCEU as a toxic entity that needed to be erased from existence and memory for the company and humanity as a whole to ever thrive.

Through it all, the fans were there, standing by the company and one another.

We never lost faith. We persevered. We called out bullshit rumors that anyone would half a brain could see were nonsense. We built our own community and supported one another. We fought back against everyone who refused to see a single positive aspect to the films, everyone who said how Marvel were always going to be superior and how They would do a real female led film if/when Captain Marvel comes out, everyone who said how the DCEU was over and done for and should just give up.

We fought back and our faith was rewarded. This is our moment of victory and we have earned the right to feel proud.

Don’t let anyone take that away from us. Not the people who still don’t and never will like anything from the DCEU, not the pricks who can’t praise the film without insulting what came before, not the people trying to rewrite history to make it seem like They were on the right side the whole time, not the seemingly endless stream of morons who will never let go of Their negativity or bitterness and don’t deserve our consideration or thought.

I don’t know what will come in the future but I’m proud to say that I never lost faith in this universe and I have never been happier to be in a fandom.