Robin and Starfire come home to find the other titans turned into babies. While Starfire is watching the others, Robin interrogates baby RavenRobin: Raven how did this happen?!Raven boops him on the noseRobin: Raven tell me!Raven hugs himRobin: stop being adorable and tell me!Raven sinks her teeth into his neck. Robin runs around comically while screaming, with Raven dangling by his neck. Starfire is unsure weather to intervene or laugh her head off.
It was probably Beast Boy’s fault.
Here, have more:
- Baby!Beast Boy gets the hiccups and turns into different animals with every one. Starfire records this and later (with Cyborg’s help, once everyone’s back to normal) uploads it to YouTube and it goes viral and Beast Boy revels in his internet fame with obnoxious enthusiasm.
- A potty emergency has Robin and Starfire making a frantic trip to the grocery store to pick up diapers and also formula and do they need pacifiers too? How long should we plan on this lasting? Oh what the hell, throw the entire rack in there, we might need something.
- They have a mini panic attack trying to figure out diaper brands. What do these sizes mean? Is there a significant difference in absorbency between brands? WHY ARE THESE PACKS SO DAMN EXPENSIVE HOLY COW.
- Baby!Raven starts crying halfway through the trip, which just leads to bottles exploding and cereal boxes bursting open and all sorts of chaos and Starfire has to take her outside to try to calm her down.
- This leaves Robin by himself at the checkout completely mortified at the clerk’s raised eyebrow about the cart-full of baby supplies and being all, “I CAN EXPLAIN.”
- (He doesn’t have to, Baby!Cy and Baby!Beast Boy are swatting each other’s faces in the cart’s baby seat.)
- Baby!Cy is drawn to everything electric in the Tower and likes to pull things apart while they’re on and it gives Starfire heart attacks every time.
- They don’t sleep for two days. None of the babies are old enough to sleep through the night and they all wake up at different times in irregular intervals and Robin and Starfire just sort of give up halfway through the fifth consecutive wakeup cry and overload on caffeine and stake out the main room the whole night, Starfire mixing up bottles and bottles and bottles! of formula and holding and burping the babies while Robin is on the computer, calling for reinforcements and trying to research a reversal.
- They are extremely irritable the next morning when Hive Five triggers an alarm and curbstomp them in like thirty seconds flat, WITH the babies strapped to them. (Because of course they can’t leave infants alone in the Tower, that would be irresponsible.)
- (In all fairness, Hive Five didn’t exactly try their hardest because, “THAT IS A BABY WHAT THE HELL I CAN’T HIT A BABY.”)
- Titans East eventually turns up to help–after Bumblebee has spent ten minutes on the floor laughing hysterically when Robin tells her.
- Silkie gets ridiculously jealous of all the attention the babies are getting and pukes in each of their rooms to spite them. The Titans are so busy they don’t notice until everything’s back to normal. Starfire chastises him very firmly.
- Robin semi-deliriously refers to Starfire as “Mommy” partway through the first night. He has been up for eighteen hours, his brain is fried, and it just sort of slips out like, “Raven, please stop pulling Mommy’s hair.”
- Starfire got a kick out of it and playfully started calling Robin “Daddy” in return.
- It confused the hell out of Titans East when they arrived.
- Baby!Cy fortunately doesn’t really poop but he spits up. A lot. Starfire takes to wearing a raincoat poncho.
- Baby!Raven breaks so many walls and electronics and dishes and pieces of furniture when she cries that the Tower is almost completely wrecked by the time Titans East arrives to help.
- Mas and Menos run with her out to remote locations until whatever she’s crying about has been fixed. (I.E. diaper changed, fed, burped, cuddled.)
- A search of Raven’s room eventually turns up the spellbook that Beast Boy had been messing around with when they got turned and the Titans quickly prepare the counterspell and return the three back to normal.
- Raven refuses to speak to anyone for a week.
- Cyborg goes through his memory files and deletes everything.
- Beast Boy catches the exhausted Robin and Starfire tangled up together on the couch (one of the only pieces of furniture NOT destroyed by Raven’s crying), gets the wrong idea, and screeches, “HOW CAN YOU DO THAT AFTER WHAT YOU JUST WENT THROUGH, AREN’T YOU PUT OFF OF CHILDREN FOREVER?!”
- They’re too tired to fight him on it, Robin just sort of groans and waves at him like, “Go back to bed kid, Mom and Dad need a rest.”
- Titans East jokingly call the two “Mom and Dad” for weeks after the event.