how has it been a year since my last birthday


Redesigned Book Covers - Percy Jackson And The Olympians

August 18th 2016 // Happy 23rd Birthday to Percy Jackson, the only boy that has made such a profound impact on my life. Percy has always been there for me since I was 12 years old, and his stories have changed the last 10 years of my life immensely. I cannot even begin to express how many times Percy Jackson has helped me out of terrible times, and how much I relate this series as a lifeline to my childhood, how much I see this as a window into happier fantasies. I’ve made friends over these books, and is the only only series other than Harry Potter that I will cherish until I die. This is my comfort series. It may sound ridiculous, but Percy is more than just some fictional character. Thank you, Rick Riordan, for giving me and millions of other children out there a friend in Percy Jackson. (legit tearing up writing this omg)

“To dream a fantasy that I could live with my family”

Creating the haze, a never-ending day, almost like a birthday gift to herself.

How many birthdays has it been ever since…

anyways happy kagerou days! I wanted to do something different for this day and draw azami instead of hibiya and hiyori like last year, since she was the one who caused everything in the first place…she deserves better…

here is last year’s kagerou days fanart if you want to check that out!

Hi, everyone! Believe it or not, it’s my birthday again. This past year has involved a lot of change for me. When l look at what’s different in my life, it makes me think about my long-term goals and the prospect of growth.

I feel less certain about what I want my future to look like than ever before. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel discouraged at many points during this past year. I’ve been battling a lot of “I’ll never” thoughts– “I’ll never be able to do this” and “I’ll never have that”, etc.

But when I think about how much has changed since my last birthday, it reminds me of all the things I’ve done and all the things I have that used to be “I’ll never"s. Things that I’ve accomplished and attained purely by living my life and experiencing new things and continuing to try, one day at a time.

I don’t think anyone, at any age, should look at themselves and conclude that by this point in their lives they know the ultimate limit of their capabilities with certainty. Even when my mind is full of "I’ll never"s, it comforts me to think that the things I struggle with now will one day fail to impede me, so long as I continue to try and be better. I know that my biggest, most daunting goals for the far future aren’t going to sneak up on me. On my way there I’ll become a person with the skill, experience, discipline, and stability to achieve them.

My life is better than it was a year ago. I’m a better person than I was on my last birthday. I’ve done more and I have more. I’m proud, and grateful, and excited.

I’m looking forward to the next one. And that’s all I wanted to say. Thank you.

anonymous asked:

Karkat turns 6 sweeps June 12th right? I just realized this makes him older than Dave, because he turned 6 on the day the Trolls started their session(y'know, beyond literally creating human existence in the first place). Chronological age-wise though, he is older than Dave. And this is something I just realized and I find it cute. Wanted to tell you because you seem to like this sort of shit. (unrelated to aikass)

I like literally CANNOT wrap my head around this lmfaoooooooo because like if you think about it as “they start using human chronology on the meteor” they start in April, and Karkat’s birthday is first, but from his perspective it has only been… 3 and a half months ish since his last wiggling day which he’s used to “celebrating” only every 2.x human years so he’d probably think everyone damn lost their minds if they’re like happy borth karkat 3 months in 

but how do they even determine that June 12th is his birthday in universe

I can’t wrap my mind around it lmfao time in homestuck is weird


Steampetal Fan Appreciation Giveaway!

Runs from June 25th - July 24th, 2017 11:59pm AST

The amount of support the BJD community has shown me since I officially launched Steampetal a few years ago has been amazing! I’ve seen an amazing amount of support the last year as well, and I just don’t have the words to share how appreciative I am!

To thank all of you I’ve decided to run a giveaway! It runs from today until midnight on July 24th, my birthday! <3 Everyone is welcome to enter, international fans as well! <3

My work can be viewed and purchased in my etsy shop!

How to Enter:
You get one entry for each of these options

  • Like this post
  • Like Steampetal
  • Share this Post and tag #steampetalgiveaway and #steampetal

The Giveaway Package Includes:

  • A BJD Crystal Grid and set of crystals
  • A BJD Divination Board and pendulum
  • A BJD Custom set of apothecary bottles  * Different than shown above*


  • You must be over 18 to enter
  • No giveaway blogs
  • You can reblog as much as you like but please do not spam your followers with reblogs of this post.
  • Likes do count but only once.
  • You must respond to me upon winning within 48 hours or I will draw another winner
  • Likes and Posts after 11:59pm Atlantic Standard Time on July 24th 2017 will not be counted

Good luck and thank you! <3

Throwback (almost) Thursday. My girlfriend got me this dress for my birthday last year, this picture was taken around the same time (3 months pre-HRT)

I really like how it shapes my chest. Haven’t worn it since unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve been invited to an event formal enough to justify wearing it!

Also this dress has big pockets, that should be standard. Js.

Just because I’m getting sentimental, here’s another one.

I’m unable to explain how much Percy Jackson means to me. He is my first fandom, my first hero, he is basically my Harry Potter and growing up with him over the years has been a roller coaster. He did some dumb stuff, and I still can’t believe how smart yet oblivious he can be, but we all love him the way he is (especially Annabeth). I’d like to recreate the cupcake Annabeth and Tyson made for him but getting to frosting to be bright sea blue is kinda hard, this is my best result in like 3 years. (Last year the cupcakes turned green- guess yellow eggs and blue food coloring isn’t a great mix). It has been 8 years since the Second Olympian War was won, and 8 years since Percabeth, my favourite couple of all time, started dating. Happy 8th anniversary Percabeth! And Happy Birthday Percy Jackson! Long live the King!


Just like last year my goal is to post every day, sadly last year that didn’t really happen xD 

Anyway. Happy SH month everyone <3


Ever since she was 5 years old and she fell off Sakura’s trampoline and she cracked her clavicle she has been scared of the evil thing. No matter how many birthday parties she went to she never stepped on one again. You know what they say, it’s enough to get burn once to learn your lesson, and she did, she stayed far away from the fire. So how on earth did she get here? In the middle of an Amusement Park on a ‘bungee jumping trampoline’. The thing was literally so dangerous she had to put on this weird thing to hold her in place so she wouldn’t fall. Also on the poster it was written in bold ‘ADULTS ONLY’ so that meant this thing was too dangerous for kids, which meant it was too dangerous for her as well. Kids loved the normal trampoline but she got hurt on those as well, so her level of ‘safe’ was lower than a child’s.

            “The elastics are connected to the structure so you won’t fall off”

The guy working there said as he was ‘casually’ bucking her in this weird protector (that looked like a pair of underwear, might she add, also his hands were uncomfortably close to her lady parts)

“The trampoline is really stretched, so you’ll jump quite high and if you try to lean backwards you might even do a back flip”

Yep, she was totally not doing that.

Checking one last time that everything was in place and locked tight, Sasuke, cuz that was what the name tag said he was called, gave her half a smile and patted her back.

“You’re good to go. You have about 15 minutes to jump and then time will be up”

15 minutes? Was he nuts? It took her less than 2 minutes to fall off last time, and even if this time she was ‘locked in place’ she knew well that something bad will happen, so why was she there again? Cuz jumping on a trampoline was number 12 on her summer ‘to do’ list right before have a staring contest with a stranger and after dance until dawn. She looked at Sasuke maybe she could complete number 11 instead, it seemed less dangerous.

Ino kept insisting that Hinata do some of the ‘hard’ things on the list because it was already august so the summer was almost over and her list sat there barely touched. So she followed her loud best friend to an Amusement Park to this place that was ran by this guy she claimed to know. So as she was dangling a little above the trampoline she could see Ino to the left flirting with whatever guy passed by.

“Ok so I’ll push you down pretty hard to give you the first jump and then things should go on their own. You ready?’  

He was going to push her? Why? No, why, why, why? Hinata only looked at him with huge eyes like a scared kid and shook her head. Both of his hands were on her hips ready to drag her down only to be thrown back up at a height she might not have considered before. Those stands were ridiculously high.

“It won’t be that bad, I promise. After the first minute you’ll have a really good time”

He squeezed her hips and a crooked smile was painted on his face. Was that supposed to make her feel better? Because it was NOT working. Right as he was about to put pressure on her hips she took both of his hands in her own.

“I can’t do this after all. Sorry. Could you please unbuckle me?”

Sasuke looked at her and narrowed his eyes. His hands were really warm in hers, she was cold but maybe that was because she was so scared.

“Look, if you really don’t want to that’s fine. But if you do this…” he trailed off and looked at Ino only to see the blonde was giving them zero of her attention so he creased her cheek and leaned in to whisper in her ear “I’ll give you a reward”

‘Reward’ ? What? That 5 seconds it took Hinata to process what has been said Sasuke took a step back smiled at her, or more smirked at her and pushed her down. So when her brain started working again her feet were almost 3 feet in the air, still going up and up and up. The elastic bands were quite long she observed, maybe 20 feet? Which meant that the highest possible point she could reach was about 40 feet from the trampoline and about 42 feet from the ground. Oh shit.

                She wanted to hold onto the elastics but she soon realized that was a very, very bad idea, because while it was stratching and moving around it would hurt her hands and if she moved the thing a bit it might throw her off course., So while her feet were dangling 20 feet in the air she was trying to figure out what to do with her arms, also when did she start screaming? The moment she reached the highest point Hinata tried to look at Ino and without meaning to she leaned in front and did a spin. She was positive she might start crying any second or she might puke, both cases weren’t something she had planned.

            She was starting to fall back down and somehow she felt really relived but the second her feet touched the trampoline she was pushed back up, this kept going on for a really long time, each time the push was a little less violent than before and she never hit the highest point again.

Finally after the last push, which was really small she went up about a feet. Thank God it was almost over. Had she enjoyed it? Maybe, a little. Will she admit that? Nop. Will she try it again? Hell no!

She was quite proud of herself because the trampoline was free of any disgusting fluids.

She couldn’t help the relief that flooded her every cell when Sasuke walked on the trampoline ready to take everything off so she’d be free.

“Was it that bad?”

She pretended she didn’t hear his question at all. Sasuke chuckled a little while working his hands on the strange underwear thing, she couldn’t help but think he was taking longer than before, also his hands brushed against her tights one time too much. After a few more soft clicks she was free but it was hard walking on the trampoline especially after flying in the air for 15 minutes so she was grateful when Sasuke offer her his hand.

“Thank God it’s over”

“I guess this means you won’t be coming back for a second round? That’s a real shame.”

Once again she passed him by without even acknowledging anything he said. Once her feet were on the solid ground, which consisted in dirt and grass she felt so happy she almost started crying. She couldn’t care less that she didn’t have her sandals on and that there were small rocks that would leave marks.

“So, we’re coming again tomorrow? You seemed to have so much fun”

Hiata gave Ino the best glare she could manage. She almost said hell no but was cut off by Sasuke

“Ino, you gonna try too?”

“OH MY GOD, YES! But I want the other guy to buckle me in, I don’t want your hands anywhere near that part of me, that’d be creepy.”

“Agreed” Sasuke said before walking off to his coworker to ask him to buckle Ino in, the other guy practically ran to the trampoline when he saw Ino, which made the blonde laugh.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna do this” Hinata said shaking her head “ and just for fun”

Ino only winked before walking to the trampoline to take her heels off. Hinata followed her, but only to take her sandals, the rocks were starting to bother her. She looked both ways before noticing a small chair to the left, she walked that way and sat down.

“Need help with that?”

Sasuke was crouching in front of her, smiling up at her.

“No, I got this.”

“Oh come on, I’ll help.”

He said before snatching her sandals and dropping them next to him. Sasuke took her left foot and placed it on his knee after putting her sandal on, he was trying to tie the cords.

“You have really nice feet”

Hinata didn’t realize she has been staring at him and his hands until he spoke after tying the right sandal too. He got up and held out his hand for her. She took it and he effortlessly pulled her up. They started walking and Sasuke placed his hand on her lower back guiding her back to the trampoline.

Everything he did seemed so cheesy to her, things you saw in movies or read about, she couldn’t help but think he was a big cliché, yet his words made her toes curl and his hand was making her skin feel hot, so maybe she was a cliché too. Hinata wasn’t the kind of person you’d describe as brave, clearly. Maybe it was the adrenaline from the trampoline, or just the cheesiness of everything that was happening that made her feel like that moment was unreal.

“So, what reward will I be receiving?”

 The second she said that the dream-like state disappeared and the adrenaline poured out of her, leaving her embarrassed and worried. But Sasuke looked at her shocked before laughing, a real laugh, not just a chuckle like before.

“Well, I must admit, you did pretty well on the trampoline, and I did promise a reward”

His eyes dared to the loud blonde that was now being freed, so he dropped his hand, and smiled at Hinata.

“But Ino is coming this way, so maybe…rain check?”  

She was quite disappointed, maybe he was backing away, or maybe that was just an excuse from them to meet again so she smiled and nodded, before turning to her friend.

“You had fun?”

“Of course, I felt like the queen of the world at that height!”


So, I can’t believe I’m 21. Once again, considering how rough this year has been (more rough than last year, to be honest) and how uneventful its been, I still can’t believe I’ made it this far. Its been exactly a year since I published a fic, none of my cosplays are or will be complete, and I will not be going to any cons any time soon. I feel like I’ve not only let so many people down, but myself as well. 

Thank you @gallihafry and @lullapiee for the beautiful edits (they brought tears to my eyes, happy ones.) Thank you all for the birthday wishes and still following me throughout this year. I hope to not be as disappointing leading my way to 22. 

beanut @ic1805 tagged me in this a little while ago, hi i love u <3

1. nicknames: jaci, cinda, lulu

2. gender: can someone tell me what this one says? i can’t read it

3. star sign: virgo

4. height: 5′3′’

5. time: 10:30

6. birthday: 08/28/1997

7. favorite bands: brockhampton and bts probably take the cake

8. favorite solo artists: kevin abstract, grimes

9. song stuck in your head: DNA has been stuck in my head since it came out

10. last movie you watched: i think it was Akira 

11. last show you watched: Listen To Love/Can You Hear My Heart

12. when did you create this blog: last year?

13. when do you post: please dont make me refelct on how often i waste my time on here

14. last thing i googled: taehyung lol.. i was looking for a reference pic 

15. do you have any other blogs: yes

16. do you get any asks: nah

17. why did you choose your url: from the saturation 2 tracklist.. swamp and then scene…its dumb

18. following: 500+ lol i need to be more picky with who i follow

19. followers: not very many!

20. favorite colors: pink/red/purple

21. average hours of sleep: what kind of question is this. idk man it changes constantly

22. lucky number: 420? 42069? 

23. instruments: guitar 

24. what am i wearing: trash

25. how many blankets i sleep with: 1

26. dream job: artist?.. lol

27. dream trip: i dont ever think about this kind of thing

28. favorite food: hm. pimento olive

29. nationality: american

30. favorite song right now: high tolerance by ameer vann or DNA

I’ll tag a few cool ppl off the top of my head… @mothjelly, @dnasgf, @burningcandlewax, @lollilollirot, @cutesygf

Random tag

I was raged by : no one (I’m just bored and I have no friends) I tag: @theintx

nicknames: ruki
star sign: Sagittarius
gender: female
height: 159 cm
time: 9:18 pm
birthday 25 nov
favorite bands: BTS SEVENTEEN
Favorite solo artist: suran
song stuck in my head: mysterious messenger ( mystic messenger op song even tho it has been almost a year since the last time I listened to it)
last movie i watched: Spiderman homecoming
other blogs: none
when i created my blog: a few weeks ago but I had another tumble account since 2015
what i post about: thoughts …. yah I know that’s sooooooo interesting
last thing i googled: how did nct Jisung grew up that much
following: idk i’m too lazy to check
followers: not enough 😉
favorite color: black as my soul
average hours of sleep: 3-4
lucky number: 8 & 42
instruments: piano

what i’m wearing: a destroyed pair of jeans and an oversized hoodie
how many blankets i sleep with: between one and 9

dream job: Rich bitch or evil mastermind in a criminal association that steals potatoes

dream trip: Korea LA Japan Hong Kong

favorite food: potatoes

nationality: French

That’s it i’m at a never ending family meal I want to read a kinky fic but my mom is looking at my phone and even tho she doesn’t speak English she’s not stupid and kinda witty.

Radio City Music Hall


Word Count: 1944

Rated: PG

Preview: You surprise Shawn at his big Radio City Music Hall Show and you help to calm him down in his nervous state.

Authors Note: I actually went to this show and it was amazing. There were no screens to see his face, but I feel like that made me focus on the music a little more. He also sang the last half of Aftertaste acapella with no microphone. 

From the second you stepped into the entrance of the Radio City Music Hall to the second you got in your seats you were bombarded with fans trying to take pictures with you. You and Shawn don’t hide your relationship per say, but you don’t flaunt it either. You stop and take some pictures, but once you get in your seats you decide to take a break. 

Your seats weren’t amazing, but they were exactly what you wanted them to be. Shawn didn’t know you were coming so you decided that getting some seats in the first balcony level would be best. Of course, because you are dating Shawn you usually just get a couple of tickets in the first few rows for free, but you wanted to experience Shawn’s concert from a fans point of view. 

You brought three of your friends with you. Today was a good day. You all packed up and drove to NYC this morning. You got a hotel room so you wouldn’t have to drive home afar the concert. 

“Hey you’re (Y/N) right? Shawn’s girlfriend?” A random teenager asks you. She was interrupting a conversation you were having with your friends. She had a group of about six or seven other girls behind her. 

“Yeah I am.” You say while turning to them.

“We were wondering if we could get some pictures with you?” The girl asked. As soon as she said this about fifteen other girls started to line up behind her.

This was all beginning to get a little overwhelming so you say, “I’m sorry girls, but I am just hear to watch Shawn’s concert, just like all of you are. I don’t think I am going to be taking any more pictures. I am so sorry.”

They all walk away. You hear a few, “What a bitch!”, but you could care less. As some time passes you decide to send Shawn a text with a selfie of you and your friends in your seats to let him know that you are here. You are hoping that you will get to stay and see him after, but you never know. 

You caption the photo by sending, look where we are!:)

Almost immediately Shawn replies, Are you here? If you are can you call me please?

You begin to get a little nervous as you dial his number. He picks up on the other end by saying, “Hey (Y/N).”

“Hey Shawn are you okay?” You ask. You are still nervous because even though only said two words, you can tell there is something wrong by his voice.

“Yeah I’m okay. I’m just really nervous.” He pauses for a second before saying, “Do you think you could come and see me?”

“Like backstage?” You ask confused.

“Yeah. I’ll tell my mom to tell the security to let you past. She’s in the seats. She will get you guys some of the all-access passes.” Shawn says. His voice is monotoned.

“Yeah, of course. I will be right there.” You say before you hang up. You turn quickly to your friends and say, “Hey guys, Shawn needs me backstage for a few minutes. Do you mind if I go run and see him?” They all nod, but you barely even notice because you are already out of your seat and on your way to find Karen. 

You run quickly down the stairs, dogging many teenage girls in your path. You speed walk down the aisle until you see the back of Karen’s head. She is in the third row. You walk up to her and tap her shoulder so she notices you.

“Hi (Y/N)!” She says as she engulfs you in a hug.

“Hey Karen!” You exclaim. You wave quickly to Aaliyah before you say, “I would really love to stay and chat, but I think I should go and see Shawn.”

“Oh yes of course. He is really nervous.” Karen begins, “We can catch up after!”

She hands you the passes and you practically run off. You walk up to one of the security guards and show him your pass. You don’t really know your way around Radio City Music Hall very much so you just climb right onto the stage. As soon as you do this you immediately hear the screams from all of the girls. They know its you and they can guess that you are going to see Shawn. 

You march up to one of Shawn’s bandmates and ask, “Where is Shawn?” They choose to answer by simply pointing to the bathroom across the hall. The door is open ajar and you can see Shawn. He has both hands resting on the countertop in front of him and he is staring at himself in the mirror. You slowly open the door. Shawn looks at you in the mirror before he actually turns around and looks at you. 

You can see his sigh of pure relief before he pulls you into his embrace. “You have no idea how good it is to see you!” Shawn whispers.

“I missed you.” You whisper back. It has been about five weeks since you have last seen each other. Way too long.

“How are your seats?” Shawn asks. He is obviously stalling from his real problem.

“They are in the first mezzanine.” You reply.

“You should have let me get you tickets.” Shawn whines. “Then I could actually see you when I play.”

“Well at least you know I’m out there.” You reply, “Besides I wanted to pay for my own tickets to my boyfriend’s concert!”

“Well you are just paying my paycheck!” Shawn laughs.

“Good! Then I know I’m going to get a really good birthday present this year!” You say. Shawn laughs but you can still see the desperateness in his eyes. “You’re nervous aren’t you?” You ask as you sit up on the counter. Shawn stands in-between your legs and plays with the hem of your shirt. 

“Yeah.” He sighs, not making eye contact with you, “I guess I am.”

You place your finger under his chin and lift it so he is looking at you ,”Listen to me. There is no need for you to be nervous. You have played in stadiums way bigger than this and you were only the opening act. You should be excited. This should be a breeze. This is the first show of your world tour. This is huge for you! I am so proud of you. I have been so fortunate as to watch you grow not only as a singer, but as a man through the past few years. You are so talented. You have a gift. You are meant to do this.”

“Mmkay.” Shawn whispers, your kind words put a smile on his face. “Can I get a pre-show kiss?” You give him a quick peck on the lips. “That’s all I get?” He asks.

“If you have a great show you can get more than a kiss!” You smile, ”Its a little incentive for you!” You hop off the counter and walk towards the door. 

“I love you.” Shawn says. 

You turn around and say, “I love you too.”, before you swiftly close the door and sneakily head back to your seat. You can do this, you have no doubt in your mind. 

There are only a few minutes between the time you sit back into your seat and the time Shawn steps onto the stage. You watch him with pure joy. There is nothing that makes you smile more in the world than watching Shawn do what he loves. The minutes pass by  and Shawn does not stop smiling. You sing along and your friends make fun of you because you cannot take yours eyes off of him. He is doing what he loves and you can only hope to find the happiness in your future job as much as the one he holds now. 

The hour passes by and you can barely even notice the time difference. Once he picks up a new guitar he takes and extra step towards the microphone, signifying that he is going to talk for a minute. 

He lets the guitar rest on his body as he says, “You guys are amazing tonight!” The crowd screams even louder than they had before. “I just want to take a minute and tell you how special this night is to me. I have my family and my friends right down here.” He points to the third and fourth row on front of him. “I also have someone else who is very special to me tonight.” He pauses and the crowd screams. They all know that he is talking about you. Shawn places his hand over the top of his eyes, shielding the light from the spotlights right above him. He smiles as he searches in the first mezzanine for you. “I don’t really get to see her very often, so when we get some time together, I want to spend every moment together.”

“Oh shit.” You whisper to yourself, knowing what he is getting at.

“My girlfriend (Y/N) is here.” Shawn pauses as the crowd screams, “I can’t seem to find her so can you guys help me out?” The crowd screams and all point to you. “There she is! (Y/N) Come down here! Come sing a special song with me!”

You quickly shake your head no, hoping that he would see you.
“As many of you may know (Y/N) and I released a cover of my song Never Be Alone earlier this week on youtube.” Shawn says and the screams only get louder, “How would you guys like it if she came and helped me song?”

"No no no no no.” You whisper. You place you hand over your mouth in disbelief. After the sweet pep-talk you gave him he repays you like this? Yes, your did post a rendition of Never be Alone on youtube, but it was just for fun. You were bored and wanted something new to do. It was a mistake. A huge mistake.

Then everyone starts chanting your name. You best friend next to you began to push you out of the aisle.

“Alright I think she is coming! While she walking down I just want to tell you all that (Y/N) surprised me tonight by coming! So yeah, that is pretty cool! Here she is!” Shawn says. 

You don’t really know how to get onto the stage so you just push one leg up on top. Shawn grabs your arms and helps pull you up. Once you are standing he wraps one arm around your waist and kisses your cheek. “Thank you.” He whispers.

“I’m getting you back for this.” You whisper once he ear is close enough. Shawn laughs and the crowd screams. You see Geoff walking up to you out of the corner of your eye. He places a microphone stand in front of you and adjusts it to your height. You mouth a quick “Thank you” before Geoff walks away.

“Isn’t my girlfriend gorgeous?” Shawn asks, the crowd continues to scream. Shawn begins to play the first few cords of Never be Alone.

“So this is our cover of Shawn’s song Never be Alone.” you say into the microphone.

Double the Happiness (Kaiji Family Fic)

I had already wrote this fic almost a year ago, but ended up being put to the side only until recently. There may be a rush in the fic, but…I hope you will like it. And I’m sorry for the grammar *bows*



A little girl ran to her father in the hallway inside Hiraizumi’s residence. Her father, Kaiji, turned around and saw her running up to him. He hugged her as she came toward him, and lifted her up in his arm.

“My little sweetheart, what are you doing here? And where is mom?” He gave her a peck at her cheek.

“Mommy said that she going to pay grandpa a visit before going to see you. And it has been long time since I was here to see daddy,” said the little girl, Mai, as she gave Kaiji a big hug.

“And while mom goes and visits grandpa, you sneaked out to find me? You know you shouldn’t do something like that. There may be a possibility that you will hurt yourself, and I don’t want my little girl to get hurt.” He let her down to the floor and held her hand. They walked toward bodyguard team’s room.

Keep reading


This is the last BlackOut Day for 2015.  

I didn’t take a bunch of pics this quarter, but I had to share a few that I took for Halloween & wearing one of my Christmas shirts for the season.  

I also decided to share a picture of me & my Grandma for today.  This past week has been rough because she’s not doing well, & we’re uncertain what will happen.  She’s a fighter, & has remained stable for the past 5 days, which has been a blessing.  My emotions have been on a major rollercoaster since Tuesday, Dec. 15th when she has her health crisis, but I’m making it each day.  This photo was the last picture we took together; it was on her 85th birthday in August 2014.  When I looked at this photo this morning, I forgot how my Grandma looked before she got really sick this year, & what transpired within the last week - I’m so glad to have these handful of photos of her so that I won’t forget.  

This Holiday season is probably the roughest one I’ve endured in my 30 years on this planet.  But I’m making the best of it.  One comforting moment was me remembering last night a favorite story Grandma used to tell about me.  I was about 6 years old, & I had to go potty during the night of Christmas Eve.  As with any child, I was so scared that Santa would see me.  Grandma had to take me to the bathroom (this was before my rodding surgery; I couldn’t walk or bear pressure on my legs until after I had that surgery & got the rods implanted).  I remember her carrying me to the bathroom, & saying that we had to be very quiet & quick so that Santa wouldn’t catch us.  Boy, was I a quiet little mouse that night, lol.  Once I finished tinkling, she & I rushed back to the bed, & Santa didn’t see us.  When my Grandma told that story, she always said how tickled she was that I was so quiet & didn’t want to be caught.  It’s memories like that that I’m holding dear to me right now, & ones that will forever be in my heart.  

All I want for Christmas is for my Grandma to continue to fight for however long she can - she’s a tough, strong, caring, loving woman; the Matriarch of our family.  Everything I am & will forever be is due to her; I am forever indebted to her in life & in spirit.  The bond we share is unparalleled - no one will ever love me, care for me, & support me unconditionally as she has in her 86th years.  

So, this BlackOut is a bit different for me than the other ones I’ve participated in, but I’m still thankful & blessed, despite the challenges & uncertainties that are present.  

~ Vy, forever a spoiled Grandbaby 

project: happy birthday avidan

so! this time has finally come!

it’s nearly two weeks from danny’s big 3-7 and it’s time to get the project i’ve been planning on creating going! 

(more info if you would like to join under the cut)

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So I got my own copy of Catan for my birthday this year and introduced my mother to the game. She wasn’t quite sure how it all worked during the first game, so I won the first game between her, my brother (who has played before) and myself. However, every time we have played since then (which has been a lot) she has destroyed us. Not by a point, or two, but by four to six points. That last game she was red and had the sheep empire that we couldn’t do anything about. I think I have created a gaming monster.

My darling… goodness. How has it already been a year since your last birthday? You’re growing up too fast ;A; More has happened in the last year than ever before. I think I might say that every year, but each year you’re alive is more exciting than the last, both in practice and sentiment. I’ve now seen you up close in person four times and both my head and heart are still reeling from those encounters. Especially on the final night of SMTown Week when you finally saw me… ;~; <3 I love you now more than ever and I feel as though I may burst at any minute with the swelling pressure of it. 

Despite the lack of Super Junior activities this year, you have kept yourself quite busy. This year has been speckled with your various talents and accomplishments, punctuated by new endeavors and outlined by sides of you we’ve never seen before. 

I am speaking, of course, of Mamma Mia. The light on the horizon of your career this year, speaking from a Gaemer’s point of you. Generally speaking, you like to keep yourself reserved and calm. Perhaps you are aware of the air of mystery it creates and you revel in it. Or maybe you think nothing of it and it’s simply a part of the shy, self-conscious boy we all know and love. But on Mamma Mia, it’s like we got to see through a little window… into a compartment you don’t willingly showcase. You seemed more in your element there than any other television program I’ve ever seen you on. Not only did you continuously leave your comfort zone and come out of your shell on the show, but you shed your shell completely. And I’m so, so proud. You’ve blossomed into the most beautiful and rare flower and it’s been an honor and a privilege to watch you grow. You were able to use not only your wit and charm, but also your playfulness and youth. As an idol, you were forced to grow up too fast. You were robbed of your personal life and in exchange were handed a persona. But on Mamma Mia, I felt like the laid-back atmosphere allowed you to be yourself more. You were able to experience new situations and try new activities, things you may never have gotten the opportunity to try had it not been for the show. From chopping wood to riding a horse, everything you did was so cute and entertaining because it was so new to you. I think the transformation you underwent on the show lent itself to your overall development as a person this past year. You’re willing to try so much more than in the past and you seem so much more comfortable within in your own skin and it warms my heart. :’) 

Furthermore, I cannot neglect to mention your most recent musical… just.. wow. When I heard it would be set in the Josen Dynasty, I was overjoyed because I knew you would be as well, what with your love of historical dramas. And now you’re in one. And not only that but you’re a king. No longer are you merely my king, but you finally get to be acknowledged as that which I always saw you. Finally you’re able to adorn the robes and crown that have always been so rightfully yours. And as someone who has now seen the musical twice, I can say that you wear them better than anyone ever has.  You were born for this role. The playful, cute side and the brooding, passionate side. A hopeless romantic through and through, I can’t imagine a better choice than you to play this role. And your voice. I think the goosebumps I felt the first time I heard you sing in that opera house will be permanently raised on my skin. No words can describe the sensation I feel when I hear your voice resound through the hall, when I hear your voice break in sorrow, or when I see a smile split across your voice. Your acting has improved so much to the point where I believe every emotion you convey as the Crowned Prince. 

When I saw you during SM Town Week, the first thought that crossed my mind was “He was born for this.”  And you were. Every quality you possess, every feature you were blessed with, blends in a way that creates an aura around you, an aura that only a chosen few could ever hope to conjure. But what’s amazing about you, is that you have control over that aura, over the shining halo that hangs above your head. You can seemingly extinguish it within a moment’s notice depending on the situation. When you just want to kick back and be normal for once, that’s exactly what you are, in the most unadulteratedly beautiful sense of the word. Your fame doesn’t cloud your judgement or your ability to love and live.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to have every private detail of my life pried into and exploited, but you still manage to have a life beyond what’s captured on camera. You don’t let your fame get in the way of living, and I think that says a lot about your character.  You don’t overindulge your fans but instead live as someone we as fans can be proud of. Not to say those things are mutually exclusive, but I think the balance you’ve established is one of the most admirable things about you. 

That all being said, I think you’ve successfully kept yourself grounded all this time. You’ve kept your friends from your childhood while ceaselessly making new ones along the way. I think it’s safe to say you have a friend for every day of the year, so that you’ll never ever be lonely again. The timid, unwanted boy who joined the industry all that time ago is no more. The man that stands before us now could blind us with his light and brings us to our knees in awe of him. With a heart of gold and a voice of velvet, you utilize your God-given gifts to make the world a warmer and kinder place, at least for me. You are an outstandingly beautiful boy with a glowing soul and overflowing talent. You’d think after four years I’d be able to at least have gotten closer to being able to fathom your existence, but it’s like the more I learn about you, the more I see, hear, soak up and experience… the less possible it seems. 

Being perfect means “having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be” and to me, you do. I don’t think perfection is objective… I think I used to, but now that notion seems silly. What’s perfect to me may seem garish and skewed to someone and vice versa. I am not interested in someone with no faults, someone with flawless skin or someone who is impossible to anger. I don’t have time for someone with no dark inside them, because how then can we marvel at the light with nothing to compare it to? Without one extreme, how can we appreciate the other? To have faults is to be human and to be human is to be alive. And that’s all I ask for. The elements, qualities and characteristics Kyuhyun possess to me are all ideal and never have I encountered someone with quite as much life as Kyuhyun’s got. He’s practically brimming with it and I couldn’t be more enamored of him. 

Continue to love and laugh and be happy, but know that it’s always okay to fight, cry and be sad, too, for that is what is to be human and therefore, alive. Do not feel ashamed to feel these emotions and never apologize for experiencing them. My only wish is that the days filled with negative emotions are limited as possible for you, Cho Kyuhyun. Although I have now seen you, I hope to one day be able to tell you… everything… or at least convey to you in some way how special you are. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times; you are a miracle Cho Kyu. And every day you shine your light is a miracle to everyone it touches.  Thank you for improving my quality of life, even if you’re unaware of the extent of it. Thank you for sharing your voice and your smile and your humor. Thank you for being alive. I love you, so much, and I look forward to spending the rest of my days looking up to you. I try not to idolize you, because I would never do you the disservice of depriving you of your humanity, but I do think you are definitely worthy of our admiration and a very suitable role model. 

Happy birthday, Cho Kyu. I hope it’s filled with as much joy as you’ve bestowed upon me (which, mind you, is un-quantifiable amount). Again, I love you and I thank you ♥


THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL VIDEO FOR A VERY SPECIAL GIRL…. my birth mother… alice aka intenselouis
alice, and others, please WATCH THE VIDEO before reading any further

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It’s September 28th. This day has always meant something to me. It used to be what I called “My Happy Day” while running around the house in my jammies on my 2nd birthday. And then probably many more birthdays since until it was very far from age appropriate. It’s kinda like I somehow knew that this day would be my “Happy Day” for this incredible reason. It has officially been one year since the day that changed my life. I cannot believe how much has happened in this last year for us, Taylor. Thank you for hugging me. Thank you for knowing who I was at the session. Thank you for remembering my birthday. Thank you for graciously letting us into your home. Thank you for trusting us with your perfect album. Thank you, Kevin, for listening to Courtney when she screamed at you. Then thank you to Andrea for listening to Kevin. Thank you to Taylor for listening to Andrea. All of these people made my dreams come true that day. Most importantly, thank you for loving me Taylor and for making me love myself. I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. I’ll always look back on this day and every other day we’ve spent together, whether it was this close together or from afar at your concerts, on days when I don’t feel so great to instantly make me smile and remind myself how much happiness I am capable of feeling. Thank you for taking a chance on me, a weird human who curses too much and dresses up like chewbacca to your concerts, I hope you know I will ALWAYS take a chance on you. So, taylorswift, on my 20th birthday and the 1 year anniversary of meeting for the first time, here’s to the next 20 years of love. I love you to a far away galaxy and back.