how dumb can you get i ask you

So lets just speak on the matter at hand . I’m really not going to care who gets offended or anything so don’t @ me talking wreckless because that would be dumb .

Originally posted by cardiiib

so theres a lot of people on here who act like they’re friends with creators and ass kissing because they want something . I feel as though , Don’t go messing with someone , acting and pretending just so you can get cc or whatever . LIKE IF YOU JUST WANT A CERTAIN PIECE OF CC , STATE THAT . And if you do want cc , you could ATLEAST say hi and ask how they’re doing . People these days just don’t know how to have common courtesy and respect .

Originally posted by joselinehernandezgifs

Using anyone for cc , pictures , popularity or whatever is plain ugly , disrespectful , and down right stupid . Keep that fake shit over there . Don’t act like we’re friends whenever you know damn well you don’t even speak to me or ask me how I’m doing .

Originally posted by thefadeiscrazy

And then whenever somebody doesn’t want to give out private conversions or cc that they have in game , yall want to start sending hate mail . The tea is , theres a website that will show who last visited your page . & you’d be surprised that sometimes it’ll be your own “ friends “ that’s sending it because you didn’t send them anything lollll .

8

hi guys today I made a tutorial on how to make my favorite art nouveau-y embellishments! these are a super fun and easy way to add a little emphasis to a drawing and you can make all kinds of designs once you get the basic flow! If you have any questions feel free to ask and let me know if there’s any kind of tutorial you’d like for me to make in the future !!!

anonymous asked:

I kind of developed this headcanon a few days ago where Eddie has a habit of taking notes on EVERYTHING in class, but the teacher changes slides too fast so he misses info sometimes and gets frustrated. Well Richie notices this because he sits right next to Eddie, and to help out he stops the teacher before he has time to change slides and asks a question, even if its a question he already knows the answer to. He stalls for awhile by keeping up convo while Eddie catches up.

“wait wait wait that’s how you spell photosynthesis? that’s so dumb”

“alright alright wait so humans don’t go through photosynthesis? why? what if i want to be lazy and not go out and get my own food and energy?”

“what the fuck do you mean plants aren’t actually green?” 

“the sun gives plants energy? how?” 

“what do you mean the equation for photosynthesis is respiration’s equation backwards?” 

“can you explain again how plants grow-”

“got it, richie”

“why have we been staring at this slide for five minutes? MOVE ON TEACHER DUDE”

60 Tips for IB - from a 45 pointer

A lot of people have been asking me about general tips for surviving IB and how I got 45 points. If I’m honest I think the difference between 40 and 45 points is just pure, dumb luck, but at least here are some tips to getting up to the 40 -points level :D

This is a list of tips my friend and I wrote right after our IB exams. We were feeling quite high at the moment, so I had to edit some of the tips so you could actually take the advice seriously…

1. HAPPINESS FIRST DO WHATEVER YOU CAN TO KEEP YOURSELF HAPPY

2. Don’t do “homework” at home!!!

3. Find a study buddy

4. Proceed to ignore everyone but your study buddy

5. Not your dog though

6. Escape from your family / responsibilities (e.g. do your homework abroad, in someone else’s basement, coffee shops, libraries, group rooms at school, sneak into university study halls etcetc. The possibilities are endless)

7. Set yourself a time limit for doing the TOK Essay. (Don’t do it two weekends in a row, you will go crazy)

8. Don’t attempt to finish the EE in one day

9. Remind your science teacher about the IA. It’s for your own good.

10. Whether it’s 5am or 2am, figure out when you work best and stick to it.

11. Don’t think you’ll learn stuff in class. Seriously. Read the books instead, and use classes as revision / sleep time / relaxing time.

12. Mark schemes will be your best teacher. 

13. Write syllabus notes FROM THE VERY START.

14. You won’t understand TOK but at least try to have fun with it.

15. Don’t forget about CAS, but don’t spend too much time on it either.

16. Install “StayFocusd” but don’t go nuclear option for a week

17. Memorize the opening hours of the public study areas in your vicinity 

18. Listen to Christmas music if you’re sad

19. Get a whiteboard for revision

20. Physics students: buy the Tsokos revision guide

21. Chemistry students: YouTube Richard Thornley 

22. Biology students: YouTube Alex Lee

23. Read the language books during the summer

24. Don’t give a fuck about English B…but TAKE ENGLISH B IF YOU CAN

25. Don’t choose science as your EE subject (unless you have a super smart and helpful and amazing supervisor)

26. Love your teachers, see them as your friend. They’re adorable.

27. Love yourself too

28. Making a plan (without necessarily following it) will help calm you down

29. 8tracks have amazing playlists

30. Dictionaries are cool

31. Thesaurus.com is cooler

32. Watch TV shows all year round to get your mind off things, just not season finales right before the exams

33. Cry it out

34. Shout it out

35. Drink it out

36. Just don’t get too drunk or violent that’s bad

37. Your nerdy classmates are your friends and teachers

38. Bring coffee / tea to school, if you make it to school

39. It’s OK to skip school for school

40. Waste money on school shit, you’ll earn it back in the future

41. If you can afford it, go to Lanterna summer course. You might get friends from other countries who’ll be able to help you throughout the year, by exchanging resources etc.

42. Make puns about nerdy stuff (like, about life, the universe and everything)

43. Be proud of being a nerd, everyone knows it already

44. EAT

45. SLEEP (sometimes it’s worth skipping school for)

46. Some teachers are nice about students sleeping in class

47. Concentrate when doing IA experiments though, take notes, or even better: film it

48. By the way, FILMING can reduce a lot of errors in science experiments. Write that as an improvement in your evaluation part!!

49. Question banks can be found, if you know where to look

50. Don’t care about other people’s grades

51. Don’t care too much about your own grades either. You’ll survive either way. Calm down. “Chillax”. 

52. Don’t do TOK presentation alone.

53. WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER (uni will be a piece of cake for you. also u can puke out a 4-paged-essay, proof-read and everything, in less than an hour, handwritten. amazing)

54. IB therefore I BS

55. Decorate your wall with IB gems

56. You’ll learn a lot from teaching others / making up games / doing past papers. Don’t just read books and highlight. Don’t just listen to the teachers. You won’t remember shit that way.

57. I repeat, DON’T JUST TRUST THE CLASSES, READ THE EFFING BOOKS

58. You’re allowed to protest sometimes

59. Don’t think too much about TOK / the uncertainty principle / relativity / astrophysics / DNA / nihilist bullshit from the language books. Stick to your reality and be happy. Have fun. Enjoy life. Stop giving so much fucks. Lower your expectations. (I honestly spent IB preparing to fail and start a bakery or something. Life is full of pleasant surprises that way)

60. Your Non-IB friends will laugh at you. Your siblings will laugh at you. Your teachers will laugh at you. You will laugh at you. But it’s okay, 2 years will be over in a flash ^^

BTS React to S/O wanting them to join them in the shower

@yasssqueenyasss:  TS reaction to you wanting them to join you in the shower

Thank you for the request! Sorry for the long wait. Also this morphed into… shower sex? it just kinda went there…


Jungkook:

Every young man’s fantasy, amirite? Sexy shower time is something Jungkook has been looking forward to for ages. He is beyond excited.

“Are you phrasing that like a question? Because do you honestly even have to ask?”

“Of course I will join you in the shower. What kinda man do you take me for baby? They type to turn you down, wet and naked?”

“If a day ever comes where that happens, just kill me. Seriously.”

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

J Hope:

He literally bought shower footholds and handles just so you can have shower sex w/o slipping and dying. 

“Anywhere is a place for sex if you’re determined enough.”

Originally posted by sosbts

Yoongi:

He would be no fun, thinking that you legit just wanted to shower. Not taking the hint that you want that agustD

“Share? Yeah that’s a good idea.”

“We woke up kinda late and this’ll save time.”

Originally posted by vanillalattaes

Namjoon:

Refuses to get out of bed at first, but once your offer registers in his brain, he is jumping up out of bed. 

Literally falls over himself rushing to the bathroom, tearing his cloths off and tossing them in his wake. 

“Come on baby!”

*You worry if he can handle shower sex w/o causing severe injury to himself. 

Originally posted by omojinyounghobi

Taehyung:

Still ½ asleep, clinging to the bed. 

*throws pillow at your head

“Yah, it’s too early for this jagi! You kept me up so late last night, can’t you have some mercy?”

“I fucked you twice, twice! How can you already want more?”

Originally posted by jeonbegins

Jimin:

Would play dumb, following your lead into the shower, washing his hair and body. He would ignore the lingering looks you send him, the appraisal of his body. 

He would make you ask explicitly. 

“What’s that? You want what?”

“How am I supposed to know if you won’t tell me?”

Loves being the biggest tease. 

Originally posted by parkjiminer

Jin:

He gets the gist, and what your offer really entails. He would treat you right, making sure he gets you squeaky clean, before getting you all dirty again. ;)

He would push you against the wall face first, chest glued to your back. Run his hands all over you, before leaning in, nibbling on your earlobe.

“This what you wanted jagi?”

“Wanted me to fuck you in the shower?”

Originally posted by blackandwhitebangtan

anonymous asked:

i randomly stalk your account sometimes, n i've read people say they've been 're-reading' this? AM I MISSING OUT ON SOME KIND OF CHRONOLOGICAL THING HERE??

Oh, man, you’re one of the lucky ones, you haven’t been following the horrible, at-times-nonsensical long-term running plot that’s been happening on this blog since 2014. While this blog is mostly dumb asks with equally dumb answers, just like every Hollywood blockbuster, there is a bigger continuity. You’re better off leaving it alone – it involves blood, sweat, tears and musical numbers. And it isn’t half as fun as it sounds, I promise. 

If you aren’t put-off, you can start reading here.
(Do it on your browser! Not in-app!) 

And before I get asks about how to navigate it, these buttons are your sweet spots. Go gentle. 

ithinkihopr  asked:

So in movies I've seen sword clashes where they will just try and use brute force to take out the other person until one succeeds or backs out. Is there a reliable other way to get out of that clash or is that actually how it happens?

So, Matt Easton over on his Scholagladitoria channel talked about how this was stupid in one of his videos, and we linked it in one of our asks, but I can’t find it now. The answer is when you’re looking at sword duels, those movie sword clashes are dumb. They’re an excuse for these protracted monologues which should end before they begin with someone being socked in the jaw.

See, that’s the thing. You can use other parts of your body. You disengage, they come forward, and you hit them with your fist.

Swords aren’t brute force weapons, and it’s actually fairly difficult to lock them together. This situation wouldn’t be occurring if both actors weren’t choosing to participate in this specific way. It doesn’t work like this because one of the key factors in basic hand to hand combat also applies to swords. This is that if you have two people shoving at each other, both applying equal force in an attempt to push the other back, one can simply let go. With no force to push against, the other person becomes unbalanced and they fall.

Strength isn’t the only way to win. In fact, it’s a fairly bad one to bet all your chips on. With movies, these scenes are supposed to be a symbolic expression of strength and combat ability. The winner shows his dominance over the loser. It’s the sort of stupid Alpha dog shit that will get you killed in real life because strength, at least the way most people think of it, means a lot less than it seems to. Combat and defense aren’t built on physical resistance all the time, they’re mutable, and shifting. Sometimes, you just let go and end up in a better position than the one you started in.

Say someone has you by the arm and their pulling you, but you don’t want to go with them. You can resist by planting your feet and drawing back in the opposite direction which is what they expect or you can go with them. By go with them, I mean physically throw yourself at them. They give you a nice hard yank and you use that as a launch pad, use it against them, and hit them so you both topple to the ground.

The logic of combat is conservation of energy. You only have so much to work with and are constantly expending it, so you want to win as fast as possible. Endurance training will expand your pool, martial training gives you more resources to work with, but the pool itself is always finite.

Pushing against another human who is applying equal force to you takes more energy than letting go. You use up that finite pool faster, wear out your muscles with constant tensing. It’s a bad position, one you don’t want to be in. With a sword, when you lose out you get stabbed. Unless you’re specifically of the mindset where you’re chasing death, you want to win.

The Hollywood version of the sword clash is there to give the actors a breather and spout their dialogue, which is the kind of talking you usually can’t get off in a tense fight anyway. You need that air to breathe so the oxygen goes back into your blood, and your attention on keeping the other person from killing you. Witticism is for when things aren’t serious.

-Michi

This blog is supported through Patreon. If you enjoy our content, please consider becoming a Patron. Every contribution helps keep us online, and writing. If you already are a Patron, thank you.

DATING!ONG SEONGWOO

Well now, dating this little shit right here would include:

  • first of all, laughs for days
  • you won’t have a moment to feel sad when you got Ong by your side
  • see what i did there *shoot*
  • he would crack a joke in the most inappropiate moments 
  • and sometimes it would be annoying cause he can’t keep quiet and keeps making derp faces and embarassing you in public
  • but you love him anyway cause he keeps making you smile
  • SO MUCH TEASING 
  • Like literally all the time 
  • you want him to share something with you? “buy your own yo”
  • “seongwoo it’s just one minute, please give me the mirror a bit”
  • “It’S jUsT oNe MiNuTe, PlEaSe GiVe Me ThE mIrRoR a BiT”
  • but he ends up sharing eveything with you, it’s just that he enjoys teasing you and seeing you flustered so much 
  • but really, your smile is the most precious thing for him 
  • he would like watching you as you get your make-up done and most likely would start commenting on it
  • “i don’t think the shade looks good on your skin” 
  • and you’d be like “are you kidding me seongwoo?! i spent 40 minutes on this” 
  • “i’m just saying, you know, it’s not my fault” 
  • and when you slap him he would give you a backhug and kiss your neck while staring at you both in the mirror
  • “you’re lucky you have a hot boyfriend, babe”
  • “fuck you seongwoo” 
  • “you sure you can handle me?”
  • i feel like he would love showing you off to his friends
  • like “you see her? yeah, she’s mine, that’s my girl.” 
  • pet names would be a common thing and besides the usual “babe”, “honey” he would call you something funny or stupid 
  • like “cupcake”, “honeybunch”, “dumbass”, “muffin-top”
  • you would always bug him about how much time he spends with daniel and how he should just date daniel instead of you
  • “well maybe i should, daniel honey here i come” 
  • “SUNGWOO NO DON’T LEAVE”
  • and then he would start coming back into the room dramatically 
  • “what is that? did I hear someone call for a handsome prince?”
  • “YOU MEAN PRINCE HWANG MINHYUN IS IN MY APARTMENT?!” 
  • “YOU BRAT! COME HERE!”
  • and a tickle/pillow fight would emerge and you would end up on the floor with him pinning you down while smirking 
  • he would kiss the tip of your nose before forcing you to say he is the most handsome guy you ever met 
  • and you will spend half the day on the floor cause you wouldn’t admit it and he needs to hear it from you 
  • fights wouldn’t happen often and they are short-lived all the time
  • but sometimes you would get insecure since he is so handsome and so many girls are trying to flirt with him 
  • and he sees it immediately and calms you down
  • “babe, I am jinjja, daebak, real, heol, wanjon in love with you”
  • and you would laugh cause gosh he’s so amazing 
  • always holds you close with one hand resting on your waist and giving glares to anyone who dares to give you a second-look
  • he would be really well-mannered when meeting your family 
  • complimenting everyone so they are all just “aww, such a handsome young man with such good manners”
  • but then he would just do a dumb shit in the middle like
  • you asking “daddy can i get the salt?” 
  • and he also reaches for it as everyone stares at him 
  • “oh… i thought she said darling, my bad” 
  • so he laughs it off cutely and no one suspects a thing
  • *JUST GO BACK UP IF YOU’RE UNDERAGE*
  • but under the table he probably has his hand on your thigh and is creeping up higher and higher 
  • until he finally reaches your core and decides to tease you by massaging it quite a bit 
  • while he maintains eye-contact with you and tells your mother how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you 
  • and then he would do that stupid move of dropping his fork under the table just so he can give a quick kiss inside your thighs
  • “oh this little thing, it fell so far away. maybe Y/N can show me where the kitchen is to get a new one?” 
  • and when you get to the kitchen he would kiss you hungrily while finger-fucking you just to give you a taste of what you will get tonight 
  • I think  he has some experience + rather high stamina since he dances
  • i honestly think he would be one of the best at oral
  • lots of tongue work and wet kisses all over your private area and thighs
  • loves hearing your moans and you putting your hands into his hair pushing him against you 
  • would be a tease even in bed; kissing and licking you anywhere and everywhere but on your sweet spot 
  •  usually dominant but with a shade of laziness here and there  
  • would like it if you took charge from time to time and just try to dominate him
  • he would smirk from undearneath you while you kissed his neck and chest
  • “you look so sexy like that, babe” 
  • would love it if you ride him as he gets to grip your hips and chest
  • i think his favorite positions would be: you on top, reverse cow-girl, face to face and missionary 
  • he wants to be able to hold you, kiss you and basically just feel you next to him
  • a vocal one in bed, especially when receiving 
  • so expect dirty talking, moans, your name being called as well as your pet names alongside stuff like:
  • “god you’re so tight”
  • “my princess is so wet already” 
  • “oh my god, you’re making me crazy Y/N” 
  • i think he would be into light bdsm and leather 
  • also would like it if you got all dolled up for him with red lace lingerie and garter stockings even though the clothes would be on the floor in less than a minute
  • it would make him go crazy seeing you like that
Friends To Lovers | BTS

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Genre: Too much fluff

Summary:  A friend is a gift, a best friend is an even greater gift, but finding a soulmate in one another is a blessing.

—Tee with help from Salty who wrote Namjoon’s and Taehyung’s ☺️

Kim Seokjin 

“How much oil?” 

Jin looked at you, putting down the knife that was in his hand. He made his way over to you, not saying a word as he stood behind you and took your hands in his and as if you were a puppet he guided you in pouring the right amount of oil into the pot. It was oddly comfortable having him pressed against you in such an intimate way, though you weren’t lovers at all. He was so close to you that you could his breath on your skin and you could have sworn he was shaking.

“You’re doing good.” His voice had become lower, but the gentle grip he had on you remained the same. You must have wandered off into another place because you soon realized that his head was laid on yours as he slowly swayed you both. The oil was long forgotten, and now the two of you were in the kitchen, safely away from the stove, dangerously close to one another as you were wrapped in his arms. “This is kind of weird.”

Jin hummed in response, and as he kept his eyes closed he whispered, “I like you.” You squeezed his hands, a smile on your face and your heart beating so fast that it felt like it was going to explode. It never happened. Instead, you gathered the courage to face him, your own hands now resting on his hips.

“Me too,” you smiled at the way his face was flushed with red, and how he tried to hide but couldn’t. He sighed in relief and pulled you closer to him. “What now?”

“Kiss me.”

Keep reading

Drinking Game: ACOTAR Edition
  • Feyre: Ok,now how the game goes is anyone can ask any question they want to anyone in the circle. If you don't want to answer the question you take a shot!
  • Nesta: This is so dumb, I have nothing to hide. There is NO way I'm gonna get drunk
  • Inner circle: *smirks at Nesta*
  • Elain: *asks innocently* Nesta, how would you describe the perfect guy for you, looks and all!
  • Nesta: ... *refuses to look at Cassian*
  • Nesta: *Drinks entire bottle of tequila*

◆ —— SHAMELESS (US) QUOTES STARTER PROMPTS.

PART. 2 [TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD]

  • When did you start to care? 
  • I’ve dreamt about your death; put money in a collection box and prayed for it; blew out my birthday candles, wished for it. If it actually ever happened, I’m not sure I’d feel relief or guilt.
  • What if I don’t want to change?
  • Don’t what? 
  • You’re a fucking pussy. 
  • You look like a baby rabbit when you sleep.
  • You’re getting careless. Don’t.
  • I just assumed we’d eventually decide how to move together like normal couples do.
  • But there never was a ‘we’.
  • People fuck up, that’s life.
  • Family is supposed to be forever. They’re supposed to take care of you, regardless of what you do. 
  • Please don’t be the guy that lies. 
  • I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. No need for any more character. 
  • I need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical and my money’s been on you. 
  • Anyone who’s been married knows that sex is downhill from there. 
  • Big toe is throbbing like blueballs that no blowjob can ever fix. 
  • She’s a skanky, manipulative bitch and you should unfriend her. 
  • The porn at my desk isn’t really porn. It was pictures of penises, but it was from a circumsision website. 
  • I’ve seen crazy and I’ve seen bad for kids. You aren’t either of those things.
  • Don’t forget to check for hair behind the grill. 
  • I realize you’ve had sketchy parental role models, but can we agree that offing people is not cool? 
  • That turned me off, periscope down. 
  • I want normal people problems. 
  • When you tried to get me to be intimate with three of your friends, it made me feel sad. 
  • So, thanks to me, you’ve been pistol whipped and shot in the ass. 
  • Alcohol is a gift.
  • All I’m gonna be thinking about when you choke me out is how much I love you. 
  • If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard you say that, I’d have one dime. 
  • I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just genetic. 
  • I know you think you’re helping, but as someone who has been in and out of the system care my entire life, I can tell you it’s a nightmare. 
  • I wasn’t sure I’d see you again. 
  • Nobody fucks with the [insert last name]
  • You buried a body and you stole from the federal government. You will never get out of prison. 
  • We could always adopt.
  • Girls take that hero stuff straight to the bank. 
  • The whole 'my dad is gay for your brother’ thing has thrown me outta loop. 
  • Giving or receiving? 
  • Doing things you don’t wanna do is how you make a relationship work. 
  • I know school was never your thing, but you’ve never been dumb. 
  • Asking him to pick me over them is asking me to change the thing I love most about him. 
  • She is a crazy bitch and not crazy bitch like you’re a crazy bitch. 
  • She once tried to beat me to death with a frozen fish because I asked for more broccoli. 
  • Kick ass, take names.. and don’t blow anyone. 
  • When you’re poor, the only way to make money is to scam it or steal it. 
  • You get along a lot better with a weapon and a kind word, than a kind word alone. 
  • If I don’t invest in myself, no one else will. 
  • My baby was stolen by my mom and her developmentally delayed boyfriend. 
  • He’s not my boyfriend. 
  • It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. 
  • I’m not going to let you throw him out like used Kleenex. 
  • She’s fragile.
  • She’s broken. 
  • I don’t wanna be me anymore. 
  • An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina? 
  • You gotta get me out of this car, I’m getting too horned up. 
  • I’m sorry, but now I gotta go pick up my wife’s boyfriend. 
  • Sometimes it’s not worth holding out. Life’s too short, why not just give in? 
  • Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? 
  • I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. 
  • Your mother was a real cunt. 
  • Circle doesn’t start with an S? What the fuck? 
  • Sometimes when I see the word hospice on the street, I pronounce it ho-spice. 
  • You’re lucky your moms dead. 
  • I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things and all 50 were when I was drunk. 
  • My testicles have never been my ally. 
  • Go fuck yourself. 
  • Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended. 
  • I’m sick of living in your shadow. 
  • I never thought I’d say this, but you were right. 
  • She said she had some personal business. I change her diaper, what’s more personal than that? 
  • How can you be so cold about this? 
  • Just for the record, a lot of great men have been well-lubricated. 
  • I’m not the reason your life is a piece of crap.
  • Your coochie smells like brimestone and Sulfur. 
  • One of my unspoken rules is you don’t fuck someone else when we’re on a date. 
  • You married a drug lord’s daughter to hang on to your ear? 
  • I don’t take bribes. 
  • Honey, you’re an alcoholic. 
  • Where can I get knives and blunts? 
  • You can’t control what goes on in the world. You can just choose to be a part of it everyday. 
  • Where I come from, it’s an honour to share your man. 
  • I’m gonna beat your ass like a pinata until candy falls out! 
  • You don’t love me.
  • You’re kinda growing on me. 
  • Dead people poop themselves. 
  • Where’s the money? 
  • It doesn’t make you a kept woman, it makes you a smart one. 
  • I’ll keep that in mind when I’m feeding my family dog food this winter. 
  • I can’t share a room with someone in constant state of arousal! 
  • Look at me. I can’t go to jail, I might as well wear heels. 
  • I’m gay. 
  • You just made my boy parts get bigger. 
  • Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore. 
  • Eat my ass!
  • Wanna see me make a mangina? 
  • You fucked my brother. 
  • Whores don’t get cars. 
  • I wouldn’t exactly call it an orgy, but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around. 
  • You wish you had a dick as big as mine! 
  • Are you gonna put those in my ass? 
  • If you do this for me, I will dress up any way you want. No safety word. 
  • I was raised by a pack of wolves. 
  • I certainly hope you’re not pooping in there. It’s a closet. 
  • Can I get you something? Milk? Soda? A joint? It’s medicinal. 
  • Like you in the sack, make it quick. 
  • Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I’d say it to the gay bartender? 
  • No. No way. I can’t handle anything in my ass without alcohol. 
  • The beard gets me laid. 
  • I haven’t had a drink for two days. Well, granted, I was unconscious. 
  • You’re hot, but it’s been a while since I’ve been with a dude. 
  • He was warm, like the inner thighs of an overworked hooker. 
  • He may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point. 
  • Let’s be honest, she’s my last chance at happiness, and that’s more important than video games and masturbation, right? 
  • I am not a religious man, but every now and then, a child comes along who makes me believe in the existence of Satan. 
  • I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you. 
  • Keep laughing, or I will slit your throat in your sleep. 
  • Brush your teeth, I wanna play. 
  • Other than the presents and the booze, can you tell me three good reasons we should get married? 
  • Oh, don’t mind me. I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one. 
  • Well, if you need me, I’ll be in the bushes across the street stalking you.
Pizza Girl || Ethan Dolan

SUMMARY - A new pizza place opens up in Southern California, instantly becoming the twin’s new favorite, meanwhile Ethan crushes on their new delivery girl.

WARNING - it’s fluff my dudes, rated G

WORD COUNT - 1,624 

AUTHOR’S NOTE - this is my dream. i aspire for this to happen to me irl.

REQUESTS - OPEN


The twins got kicked out of their last apartment for their second time in Los Angeles. They’ve just recently moved into their new place, which happens to be closer to Hollywood, where the area is constantly awake. In result, they’ve stumbled across a new pizza place that has gained popularity in their two months of business; Pizza Orgasmica. 

Keep reading

It Had To Be Done

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,395

Summary: Dean gets jealous when he finds out the reader has a date and he tries to tag along.


Lotion? Check.

Shaved? Check.

Makeup? Check.

Nails painted? Check.

Freaking the fuck out? Check.

Tonight you have a date. It’s not just a date, it’s a huge decision. It will either make or break your fucking world. Maybe that sounds a little dramatic but it’s true. It will completely alter your life and you’re praying it will be the outcome you want.

Keep reading

spitfirechick  asked:

If you're taking prompts, could you do #83 from the "99 ways to say I love you" for NurseyDex please?

(sorry, this took me a little while! thanks for your patience!!)

83. “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

At first, all he means to do is knock on Chowder’s door and sleep on his floor. He’s done it before; it gives him time to think and vent if he needs to, and then by the morning he’s usually ready to apologize, as is Dex. But even if he’s not, he knows that his wonderful, amazing goalie friend will always let him stay a few hours longer, because he’s Chowder and he’s far too polite to kick Nursey out when he has no place else to go.

Who apologizes first depends on a number of things. Sometimes it’s Dex who taps once or twice on C’s door with an invitation to walk to Annie’s, hands fidgeting and tired eyes examining the floor. Other times it’s Nursey who slips a note under their door, lunch? or Walk me to class?, before slipping outside to wait for Dex on the front porch.

But this wasn’t like any fight they’d had before; this time, there was no ‘usually’ or ‘sometimes’ that applied. It wasn’t about money or gifts or parents. They hadn’t lost a game, neither had had a particularly bad day, and they had told everyone who mattered a month ago. Together.

This was two in the morning, running on empty, things you don’t mean but can’t take back, and yelling that woke up the entire Haus - even Chowder, who’s slept through more of their arguments than Nursey can count.

So when Dex suggests he leave (at the top of his lungs), Nursey doesn’t even bother grabbing a jacket, just brushes past a concerned Chowder, a cranky Bitty, a solemn Whiskey and a confused Tango and leaves. 

He walks. Where, he isn’t really paying attention, but he’s wide awake and he can’t stop himself from replaying their fight over and over in his head. He knows he messed up, knows he should’ve just gone to bed when Dex snapped at him. But as much as he could blame himself for not being the bigger person, Dex shouldn’t have taken it all out on him, and he knows that they’re both to blame for letting it get this far.

They’ll always be like this, Nursey thinks, too reactive for their own good. He’d try to be optimistic, convince himself that it’s lack of maturity, sleep, or any number of things, but by now he knows better. It’s frustrating, because while he loves a challenge (and what else is Dex, really, if not a challenge), he hates when Dex folds in on himself. There’s always that point in an argument when someone realizes they’re going to lose, but unfortunately for them, realizing that you’re going to lose does not mean conceding your point. Instead, they will inevitably get stuck in some endless loop of you’re wrong, I’m right, every time. 

The thing is, it’s no longer a challenge if there’s no way to win.

With a resigned sigh, Nursey drops down heavily onto a bench and pulls out his phone. 3:30, the screen seems to scream at him, and he runs a hand through his hair. He’s on the opposite side of campus, he realizes, a long way from the Haus and a longer way from Dex. He’s cold - it’s the middle of the night, but he’s wearing a long-sleeved tee and sweatpants and sitting on a metal bench. He can’t even remember what the fight was about anymore, he’s so tired, and the mere idea of hauling his ass back who knows how many miles makes his bones ache. He misses Dex. 

He contemplates calling him, but thinks better of it. Maybe Dex went back to sleep. He’d only be more irritable if Nursey woke him up, and besides, he definitely hasn’t cooled off as quickly as Nursey has. Nursey doesn’t know what he’d say, either. “Sorry,” maybe. “Are you still mad?” probably, even though he thinks he already knows the answer. 

Their first big argument as a couple, they had both agreed to part ways for the night. Nursey had attempted to sleep on the green couch, but couldn’t stop tossing and turning until Dex crept downstairs an hour later to join him. No apology, no notes under doors, and yet when they woke up plastered together the next morning, Nursey knew it was over. 

He clears his head and replays the argument again, pays attention to Dex’s words instead of the murderous glare he gave Nursey that planted a rock in the pit of his stomach. I don’t want to see you right now, Nurse. Just get out.

Nursey knows that “right now” does not mean “ever again.” If Dex meant “ever again,” he’d have said it; he’s not one to beat around the bush. But “get out” is something else. Nursey’s been analyzing tone and diction since he was in middle school, and he likes to think that since he decided to major in creative writing, he’s gotten pretty good at it. “Get out,” like everything else Dex says and does, is efficient and to the point. Go somewhere else. Leave. I don’t want you here.

“Get out” doesn’t come with an expiration date. There’s no implied later, like there is in “right now.” There’s no see you in the morning or but come back when you’re ready. When Nursey thinks about “I don’t want to see you right now” and “get out” in the same breath, he sees tomorrow night spent on his freshman year roommate’s couch. He sees the rest of the week there, too, a slowly growing pile of his things taking up space in the corner. A month goes by, and Dex decides he likes things better this way; he finally has the room to himself, and Nursey doesn’t get underfoot anymore. Two months, and Dex doesn’t need him at all.

Nursey fumbles for his phone so fast that he almost drops it onto the pavement. His hands are shaking as he searches for Dex’s contact and presses the little phone icon, holding his breath as the line rings in his ear. 

Dex doesn’t pick up.

Nursey lays the phone down delicately in his lap and stares at the empty black screen. He gets the message. “Get out” doesn’t mean “leave.” It means “leave me.”

And Nursey hadn’t even been paying enough attention to realize it until now.

He numbly picks up the phone again. If he and Dex are through, he should at least leave a voicemail to tell Dex that he can come by and pick up his stuff in the morning. He’ll stay with Noah, really, it’s not an issue. As he scrolls through his contacts again, he dimly remembers a Facebook post that showed Noah moving to an off-campus apartment with some other junior. Kyle? No, Tyler. He’ll ask if he can stay with them; they’d probably be grateful for the extra help with the rent, anyway. 

This time, Dex picks up, and he sounds wide awake. “Derek? Listen, I-”

“It’s okay, Will, I get it,” Nursey says and feels his chest contract, like his lungs can’t fill themselves up anymore. “'It’s not you, it’s me,’ right? Whatever, it’s chill, I can come by and get my stuff tomorrow morning, there’s these guys I know who have a place and I can probably room with them, I just wanted to tell you so you didn’t think I-”

“Wait, what are you talking about, 'it’s not you, it’s me?’ Why… Is this, are you moving out of the Haus?” Dex asks quietly.

“That’s what you said you wanted, isn’t it?” Nursey’s voice cracks at the end, and he hates himself for it.

“I-When did I say that? Oh my God, I didn’t actually say that, did I?” Instead of pleased, like Nursey was expecting, Dex sounds horrified.

“You didn’t have to, Will. I told you, it’s chill, I get it. I can call a few guys from the soccer team to help me with all the boxes, it won’t-”

“Derek, stop.” Nursey clamps his mouth shut so hard his teeth click together. “I don’t want you to move out.”

Nursey blinks. “You don’t?”

“No, I don’t. Of course I don’t.”

For some reason, maybe it’s the way the breeze whips around him just then or the way Dex says of course like Nursey’s made of glass, he breaks. He’s crying before he can stop himself, and then, like they do when he’s writing sometimes, the words just… fall out.

“Thank God, Will, because it was a stupid fight and I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be mad at you for anymore because I’m not mad at you, I promise, but I didn’t know if you were still mad at me and if you were then you definitely wouldn’t have wanted to talk and so I almost didn’t call but I was terrified, Will, and I miss you, and even if you want me to sleep on the couch or you still need space or you want to take a break, I don’t care, I’ll do anything, whatever you want, I just want to come home.”

“Derek - Wait, you left? Where are you?” Dex asks, concerned.

Nursey sniffs. “On a bench, by Faber.”

“Stay there, okay? I’m coming to get you,” Dex says, and Nursey hears shuffling in the background.

“Okay,” he breathes when the rustling dies down. A door slams, and then Dex sighs.

“Look, Nursey, about what I said before… I don’t want you to leave, and I don’t want to break up or take a break or any of that bullshit. I just… Fuck, I just needed some time to think and you know how shit I am at asking for that when I’m mad. I’m sorry. I’ll be there soon, okay? Don’t hang up,” he adds quickly. “You don’t have to say anything, just don’t hang up.”

“Okay,” Nursey says again, smaller this time. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out. “I don’t want any of that, either, and I’m sorry, too.”

“Good,” Dex says, and Nursey can hear his smile. “It’s gonna take more than some dumb fight to get rid of me, Nurse.”

Nursey grins, despite himself. “Will Poindexter, resident poet and sap.”

“You love it.”

“I do, but I love you more, so-”

“Wait, and I'm the sap?”

Nursey laughs, which makes Dex laugh, and soon they’re back to what they do best, Nursey and Dex, Derek and Will. They talk, bicker, make plans for tomorrow, and Nursey is just planning to tell Dex how much he loves him (again), but the line goes dead before he can say anything.

“No jacket? Jesus, Nurse, it’s gotta be thirty degrees out.”

Nursey’s head pops up so fast Dex is afraid he might have whiplash, but a second later Dex’s arms are full of him and his head is tucked into Dex’s neck, so he lets it go. “What if you catch a cold, you idiot?” He murmurs affectionately into Nursey’s hair. “What am I gonna do with you then?”

Nursey sighs and pulls Dex impossibly closer, but it’s punctuated by a shiver. “Don’t care, s'long as it means you’ll stay.”

“Of course,” Dex says, and it’s different this time. This time, it doesn’t feel like Nursey’s about to shatter; it feels like coming home.

Infatuation

Originally posted by qt-taehyungssi

“Laying in bed, Taehyung’s mind skimmed over the events from today, always pausing to think about the extremely pretty girl who was staring at him earlier. He was determined to find out who she was, she wasn’t getting away so easily.”

Genre: Fluff | Angst
Members: Taehyung x Reader
Word count: 1528

Masterlist | Next

Keep reading

Ikea Run Headcannon -p. parker

october 2nd, 2017

prompt: going to ikea with peter - headcanons

word count: 900-ish? (short for me )): )

warnings: swearing for sure & fluff?? grumpy peter if that’s a thing??

a/n: this has probably already been done before but here’s my take on this prompt!! also this is college peter with college reader just an fyi, enjoy :) feedback is welcomed and much appreciated!! sorry if this isn’t the best, this is my first headcanon and it’s quite late at night when i’ve posted this oops

pairing: college!peter parker x reader

____________

  • you were only going to ikea for one little insignificant item
  • (spoiler: it was a coffee table bc peter somehow destroyed the only other one you two had yiKES)
  • you figured you might as well drag bring peter along bc he was your platonic roommate, and he should have a say in what kind of coffee table you two had in your living room, right?
  • it wasn’t bc you had developed feelings for peter and wanted to spend some one-on-one time with him, right?
  • anyways, peter was being grumpy in the subway ride on the way to ikea since he had originally planned on having a lazy day indoors
  • he was so grumpy to the point where he refused to hold on to the handles to keep him upright
  • instead he would cross his arms across his chest with his hands in lil fists
  • every time the train would stop or start too harshly, peter would nearly fall on top of you
  • you would give him a lil glare but in secret you really loved it bc his eyes would go super wide and he’d immediately grasp onto you to make sure you were okay
  • peter wasn’t actually all that grumpy though after a while, he was just really deep in thought about how fuckin cute his roommate looked in his pullover that they didn’t think peter would notice had been stolen from his laundry
  • when you guys got off the subway, peter wasn’t acting grumpy anymore and he offered out his arm for you to hold onto so you wouldn’t get lost 
  • you gladly accepted :))))
  • finally y’all made it to ikea and it was sUpEr crowded so peter puts his hand over yours to keep you on his arm
  • you died before you could even say anything
  • you and peter started wandering the aisles of ikea
  • peter was enjoying himself a lot more than you originally thought
  • he would drag you by the hand into the bedroom and office sections and he would script out lil scenarios for you two to act out
  • “oh y/n look at this one!! i’ll be an old-fashioned mobster and you owe me money” he then sits in the giant swivel chair behind the huge wooden desk while you play along
  • *swivels around dramatically with his hands interlocked* “i told you already, i don’t let no stragglers off the hook so easily. where’s my money pal??”
  • “i don’t know man, i got bills up to my elbows to pay here! please, i got a family to take care of!”
  • these don’t last too long because peter either breaks out laughing or sees something else he wants to check out and drags the both of you towards it
  • what was originally only supposed to be a two hour trip at most ended up lasting for much longer than that
  • peter was having so much of a good time just exploring the store in all its glory
  • you couldn’t help but let your heart melt at the sight of peter so carefree and happy
  • he was for sure like a puppy, especially with those big brown eyes of his 
  • you two had ended up in the mattress section
  • both of you were laying on the same mattress together when a few horrible realizations hit you:
    • a) you two hadn’t picked out a coffee table yet 
    • b) you were falling more for peter
    • c) you two were completely fucking lost in ikea 
  • you had sat up immediately in panic so peter was like “whoa what’s wrong?”
  • you turned to peter with the most horrified expression on your face
  •  “i forgot the yarn peter”
  • peter is MORE than confused bc why would you need to bring yarn to ikea??
  • “peter, we’re gonna get lost and die!”
  •  “what?! no we’re not, why would you think that?”
  • “because ikea is a literal maze and we’re never gonna find a way out without the yarn that i forgot!!” 
  • peter’s face kinda drops from the sudden realization that ikea is, in fact, structured to be a maze 
  • he’s trying not to panic but his face says it all 
  • he’s trying to think of solutions in his head if they did end up getting lost inside ikea
  • his phone was nearly dead though
  • oh wait i can just ask karen inside the suit to help- 
  • he realized that he was dumb enough to leave the Spider suit at home
    • in his defense, he didn’t think they’d be spending almost all day at ikea
  • “we’ll be fine, let’s go get that coffee table now, yeah?”
  • you just nodded and peter offered his hand out since he saw how stressed you were over the littlest inconvenience
  • peter was about to get mind-fucked when he realized how important that ‘little inconvenience’ would actually be 

a/n: if you made it this far into the reading, than thank you! i wanna make a part 2 to this headcanon, so let me know what your thoughts are! 

Playing Dumb

Admin Marie

A/N: Sorry I have been so inactive lately! I have been drowning in school work. I should be more active again, sorry! Don’t forget to send in scenario requests!

Word Count: 1220

Genre: Angst 

Member: Suga (BTS)

Summary: You couldn’t play dumb for someone that didn’t love you anymore.

Originally posted by tahyns



You hated feeling the way you did. You weren’t even really sure how you felt, you just knew you hated it. You spent hours on end under the water streaming from your shower head, your knees tucked to your chest but no tears coming. How could you cry over something you weren’t sure was happening?

Deep down you knew, you knew he was with her right now, tucked away with her between the sheets. You wished for him to be home, you wished for him to be near you, to look at you like he used to, to kiss you like he used to. You didn’t look at him the same way though, so how could you expect him to?

You heard the front door open and you didn’t react, not wanting to see his face. The bathroom door creaked open and you stood up slowly, peeking out from behind the curtain. As you pull back the curtain, water droplets spatter against the wall and tiled floor.

“I’m back,” he says. You nod. “Jungkook made me stay at the dorm longer than expected to finish Mario Kart,” he says.

“I thought you were at the studio with Namjoon,” you reply blankly. He runs his fingers through his black hair. “N-namjoon brought me back to the dorm,” he says unsteadily.

“Whatever you say,” you reply. Under the collar of his white shirt, you see it. The only confirmation you need. A pink and red bruise, formed under the ridge his collarbone. You know it’s left by her, a token of her affection and her parting gift for him. “Looks sore,” you say bleakly, disappearing behind the curtain again. You finish in the shower, exiting it and drying off. You get into your pajamas and brush your hair and teeth and crawling into your bed. Yoongi is already there, snuggled under the blanket.

“Goodnight,” he says.

“How do you sleep at night?” You ask. His breath catches in his throat. “How can you sleep knowing that you’re sleeping next to someone you only stay with because you pity them? Someone that you lie to everyday?” You ask.

“Y-Y/N… I…” he trails off. You sit up.

“I… I can’t do this anymore, Yoongi. I can’t sit here and pretend I don’t know what you’re doing because I do, I’ve known for a long time. I am done playing dumb for the sake of this relationship,” you say, getting up and walking across the room. You slide a hoodie over your head and grab a bag.

“Y-Y/N… Don’t go. Please, don’t go,” he says, getting up and walking towards you.

“You love her, Yoongi. You love her, so what’s my purpose here?” You ask. “I don’t know why I’m here.” He’s at a loss for words. He opens and closes his mouth like there is something he wants to say but can’t get it out.

“I… I don’t love her. How could I?” he asks. You laugh at that statement.

“You spend most nights with her,” You point out. “Even if you don’t love her, you don’t love me either,” you say, zipping up your bag.

“You think I don’t love you?” He asks. You shrug.

“If you did, why would you be doing what you’re doing,” you ask, opening the bedroom door and walking down the hallway.

“Where are you going to stay?” He asks, trailing after you.

“If I tell you, you’re just going to follow me,” you reply. The truth is, you don’t even know. You wish you did, you wish you had somewhere to just go.

“You don’t have a place to go, do you?” He asks. You stay quiet, knowing lying to him will be useless. “Then let me leave, at least I have somewhere to go,” he says.

“I don’t want to be here. If you left, I would leave anyways so it would be meaningless for you to go,” You point out, tying your shoe at the same time.

“Y/N, let’s talk about this,” he says. You stand up and turn to look at him.

“We had lots of time to talk about everything. We would’ve had years, just to talk, but you made your decision and now I’m making mine. I respected yours even though I didn’t like it, so now you should respect mine, even if you don’t like it,” You say. He goes silent, not knowing what to say. You grab your purse off the table.

“Why are you being so monotone over this whole thing? Do you not care this is ending?” He asks you quietly, his voice sounding weak and empty, defeated. You turn to look at him, to really look at him. You scoff and shake your head.

“You used to know me, Min Yoongi. You used to understand me, you used to care about me, you used to love me. That person I knew and loved so much is gone, so no, I’m not sad this is ending because I don’t know who you are anymore,” you say honestly.

“Y/N, please. I can change, I can go back to being that person I used to be. We can fix this,” he pleads, reaching out for your hand. You take your hand away.

“Fix what? What would we be fixing, Yoongi? There isn’t anything to fix because this ended a long time ago. I don’t want to do this anymore,” you reply, refusing his pleads for you to listen. You pick your bag up and open the front door. His arm comes right beside your face and slams the door. He spins you around, causing you bag to fall from your grasp and hit the floor unceremoniously. He’s so close to you, you can feel his breath fanning across your face.

“Y/N, I can’t lose you, please. Please don’t go,” he says, a tear falling down his face.

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, taking his face in your shaking hands. “Why can’t you let me go, Yoongi?”

“Why are you letting me go so easily? Was it all a lie? Did you ever love me?” He asks, his whole body trembling.

“Of course I loved you! I’m just sick of sitting alone here while you’re out lying to me even though I fully know what you’re doing. I’m sorry, Yoongi,” you say, dropping your hands from his face.

“Please, please, don’t go,” he repeats, taking your face in his hands.

“I can’t stay,” you answer. “Go back to her, you want her more than me.” His face says a thousand things; things he wouldn’t even begin to know how to say.

“I don’t want her, Y/N. I want you, I always have,” he says, hugging you to his chest. You don’t hug him back, you stay exactly how you were.

“Stop,” you say, removing yourself from his embrace. “I don’t want to do this, I can’t. So just let me go.” You open the door, grabbing your purse and bag and walking out into the hallway of the apartment complex. Yoongi falls silent, watching your retreating back. Every step you take that sets both of you further apart hurts you, but not enough for you to turn around. It hurt a lot, but you couldn’t play dumb anymore, and you both knew that.

«Taehyung is a young man running away from his village into the woods to escape certain death. The villagers have started accusing him of being a witch, and he knew oh too well what happened to witches in this village. He certainly didn’t want to end on the stake, not today sir.

But in his hurry to run away, he might have gotten lost.»

Welcome to ask-the-outcast, which is not,,actually an ask blog,, but i didn’t know what to name it sO BEAR WITH ME

The Outcast is going to be an interactive story in the form of comics. It will be from the point of view of Taehyung, and at the end of each comic you will have to choose from 2 or more choices what action he will do. Basically, you guys get to choose how the story continues !

(please don’t make him do dumb stuff he’s a naive child)

You can still ask normal questions about the story or the characters ofc, but they will be answered by me ♥ (sorry)

The first pages will be out soon, i hope you’ll enjoy it ♥

guitar center Josh

Originally posted by kellymccg

reader x josh: you take an interest in drums, so you go to the local music store to get lessons. but your hormones take more of an interest in your smoking hot instructor.

ps - i know absolutely nothing about drumming or how music lessons go, so forgive me any musicians out there >.< i specialize in smut ok 

——————————–

“hi, my name is josh dun. i’ll be your drum instructor.” josh greets you with a friendly smile, shaking your hand. right away, you vaguely recognize him as the passionate drummer in “house of heroes” and your muscles go weak. you vividly remember him drumming his heart out, his passion outshining the other guys in the group and turning your insides to mush. 

“hey aren’t you the drummer in house of heroes?” you ask impulsively. you flush at the devilish little smirk he gives you, hoping he didn’t think you were a stalker. 

“you know our band? usually people don’t pay attention to drummers” he jokes. 

“yeah…i um, seen you playing at battle of the bands against that other group, uh…” the name slips your mind, but you remember the singer being equally as passionate and outshining the other group members. 

“twenty one pilots!! yeah, those guys are…amazing, especially tyler. that boy can rap, and his energy levels are just…” he trails off, switching gears in his brain “anyway, it says here we meet at 4 pm on tuesdays and thursdays for half an hour, so we better get started.” 

josh leads you to the drums set up in the back of the store. you realize that unsurprisingly on a rainy tuesday evening, the store is practically empty. when his back is turned, your eyes explore his entire frame from his dark curls and broad shoulders, down to his muscular forearms and ass when he bends over to grab the sticks. josh breaks the ice before your mind starts playing tricks on you, and you curse yourself for fantasizing at a time like this. 

“i’m just going to run through the different parts of the instrument real quick, this is the high hat, this is the bass drum, these are the cymbals…” he continues going through the parts, giving each a tap with the stick so you can hear how each one sounds. 

“ok, now i’ll just demonstrate a simple beat before having you jump right into it. then i’ll let you try it, and we can pick up from there.” he explains, and you nod in understanding, standing in front of him and paying attention. he slowly sets a drumming pattern, relatively simple compared to what you’ve seen him do. but he still gets into it, and you think ahh that’s easy, i can do that. 

“now your turn” he said, smiling kindly and standing from the seat. you take the seat, he hands you the sticks, and suddenly you become aware that you have no idea what to do. you don’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of a drummer, nonetheless one you have a crush on. 

“it’s alright, i don’t expect you to get it on the first try. we all gotta start somewhere. just test it out so we can see where you’re at” he said, sensing your hesitation. you nod your head, taking a deep breath before straightening your back and raising your sticks. little do you know, josh isn’t thinking about what a dumb newbie you are. he’s thinking about how he can get you more relaxed, because he’s incredibly interested. he thinks about asking you to come to his show, buying you a drink, and getting to know you better. you perform an uncoordinated replication of his beat, obviously overthinking it. you feel like he’s judging your lack of skill, but his eyes are glossing over all your physical features. he’s biting his bottom lip imagining all the possible scenarios. but he’s broken out of his spell when you slam your sticks down in frustration. 

“i’m a total idiot. i can’t do two different things at once, i’ll never get this” you sigh, completely disappointed in yourself. you actually start tearing up and try to look away because you don’t want him to see you being emotionally vulnerable. 

to your surprise, he comes around behind you and starts rubbing up and down your arms. you feel like you should be alarmed, but it actually relaxes you. so much that your eyes almost rolled back from the feeling of euphoria. you actually suppress a moan when you imagine how easy it’d be for him to simply cup your breasts from this position. oh my god, his hands are fucking magic you think to yourself. 

“shhh, shh you are definitely not an idiot. i had the same problems at first. really, it just takes getting used to, but i need you to trust me and not think i’m judging you. i really want you to learn, okay?” he reassures. he internally celebrates that you’re holding still and letting him touch you. 

“okay” you say, nodding your head and letting out a shaky breath. 

“so, you trust me?”

“yes”

“good, pick up your sticks and lets see if we can get the pattern.” he instructs. once you’re holding the sticks, he leans over you and holds your hands with the sticks. 

“sorry, this is the best way i could think of” he said in an unmistakably sultry voice. he was even surprised at himself for this move. 

“mmm” you respond, totally unable to concentrate with the feel of him pressed up against your back and holding your hands. you try not to shake, but he has you literally trembling with how submissive you felt at that moment. you couldn’t help but imagine him taking you from behind, and it would be easy with how wet you were. he begins to guide you like this, but you’re no longer suppressing your desires. 

“oh my god, josh” you breathe, rocking back in your seat and pressing against him. he lets go of your hands and you drop your sticks, turning around in your seat. he takes your face in his hands and presses his lips to yours and you can feel the lust in his kiss. you’re aware of how he’s standing between your legs, and you happened to be wearing a black leather mini skirt that day. lucky you remembered to wear panties so he didn’t think you had planned this. you moan into his kiss, hands stroking down his sides and to his hips. you tug at the waistband of his jeans and he grunts, pulling away to undo his jeans. the kindness in his eyes was replaced with this dark, brooding stare. he leaves his jeans unfastened and lifts you up from your seat, and you instinctively wrap your arms and legs around him. he carries you back to the storage room. 

“i wanted to fuck you as soon as i laid eyes on you” josh admitted as he pushed you against the wall. you allowed yourself to be pinned and ravaged by his hands all over your body. he groped your tits before pulling your shirt up and burying his face in your cleavage. you lifted your arms so he could pull it off, then fumbled with your bra strap. you chuckled a little at his frustration and reached behind yourself to unclasp it, and he practically ripped it off you. he didn’t hesitate to dip his head down, licking your nipple and sucking it in his mouth almost painfully hard. you moan, running both your hands through his curls and grinding yourself against his knee between your legs. 

“mmm you like that, huh” he growled, that coy smirk returning to his face. you knew it was more of a statement than a question. 

“yes, more please” you whimper, panting from how he’s still groping your tits. almost as a reward, he helps you rub against his knee and you grip his biceps for support. 

“would you like me to eat your pussy?” he murmurs in your ear before leaving love-bites on your neck, holding the skin between his perfect teeth. you swear that was the most beautiful words you ever heard come from anyone’s mouth and give the sluttiest moan imaginable. that pretty much gave him the answer. 

“uuhhhh god josh, please” you beg, squeezing his biceps harder when his teeth clamp down. you feel your heart racing and all the blood rushing between your legs. he gently licks over the teeth marks in your skin and you soften up on your grip, allowing him to pepper quick little kisses down your stomach until he’s kneeling below you. 

“let’s see how wet you are for me” he said, pushing your tight skirt up your thighs to your waist. he was met with lacy red panties. 

“sexy” he complimented, bringing his fingers up to trace along the top. you shudder from his breath fanning against your bare thighs and instinctively spread your legs wider, giving him permission. 

“well what’s this?” josh smirked, fingers tracing from your clit down to a wet spot that soaked through. he put pressure there, massaging little circles until you were crying out and bucking your hips. 

“fuck, josh fuck fuck” you whisper, panting and unable to form any words from how aroused you are.  

“i’m getting to it. i love you moaning my name like that, baby” he chuckled deeply, hooking his fingers into your panties and pulling them down. he’s purposefully taking his time to tease you and knows you’re in too vulnerable of a state to do anything about it. you step out of your panties when he gets them to your feet and he tosses them aside. you feel exposed to the cool air, and he took a moment to look you over. his first instinct is to place sloppy, wet kisses towards your inner thighs to torment you until you’re shaking and spreading your legs even wider. he lifted one of your legs to place over his back and slide his ring and middle fingers inside you. you gasp, the sudden intrusion giving you instant relief and something clamp around. he pumped them a few times before spreading you open with his thumb. he licked from where his fingers were inside you to your swollen clitoris and honed in on it. 

“damn baby, you taste so sweet. and you’re so pink. i could eat your delicious pussy for hours” josh moaned, pulling out his fingers and sucking off your juices. you watch him with your mouth agape and your head rolled back against the wall as he slid them back in you. he sucked your inner labia before flicking his tongue directly over your clit, causing you to twitch involuntarily. that familiar feeling began pooling in your lower stomach as he relentlessly lapped at your clit.

“josh, you’re gonna make me cum” you moaned breathlessly, gyrating against his tongue. 

“fuck, that’s so hot baby. cum all over my tongue” he talked with his mouth to your pussy so you could feel his breaths. his tongue slid into your hole with his fingers and that sent you over the edge, contracting violently around them. he wiggled his fingers inside you, pressing his lips to your clit to suck gently, which intensified your orgasm. it’s so good, you doubled over and he caught you while standing back up. he wrapped his hand around your throat and kissed you, full of tongue so you could taste yourself in his mouth. 

“good girl” he praised while shifting his pants and briefs off his hips to free his throbbing erection. he lifted you up again, backing you to the wall as he guided his cock to your sloppy entrance. you braced yourself, wrapping your arms around his neck as he slowly entered you. your eyes rolled back as he slid deeper, stretching you out until he was pushed all the way to the hilt. you drop your head back, exposing your throat, which he licked and kissed immediately. as you adjusted around his girth, you realize josh’s cock is the biggest you’ve had. when he began humping you, your body became engulfed in flames and your mind shut off.

“fuck me josh, yes, please, harder!” you scream as he bounced you on his cock. you held on to him for dear life, squeezing your legs around his waist to pull him deeper. he was panting against your neck, making these guttural sounds that let you know he was feeling it just as much as you were. 

“damn baby girl, your pussy grips my dick like no other” he whispered, pounding into you to punctuate it. you whined and bit down on his shoulder, digging your heels into his ass. 

“i’m slipping” you whimpered, still grinding your dripping pussy on his cock. 

“i got you, baby. here” he said, pulling you away from the wall and easing you down on the floor. he never pulled out of you, and as soon as he laid you on your back, he was able to fuck you more freely without the restrictions of gravity. your hands clawed at his shirt, trying to pull it off. he supported himself on one arm, pulling his shirt over his head and sitting back on his knees. he wrapped his arms around your thighs as leverage to yank you to him, forcing a strangled sound from your throat at how swiftly he entered you. he resumed his thrusting, watching how you were writhing and arching your back each time he entered you. from the angle, he was hitting all the right spots in you and you were able to drool over his hot chest and abs while he fucked you. that’s when it hit you that your hot drum instructor was owning you right there on the floor and you moaned. 

“h-harder, fuck me harder, josh” you pleaded, and josh grinned at the opportunity to make you beg. 

“oh, you want it rough? how bad you want it, slutty princess?” he asked. 

“so bad, josh, please just give it to me” you begged, bucking your hips the best you could. he held onto your thighs tighter, pinning you down. 

“that’s right. i’m the only one that can give it to you like this, remember that” josh said, pulling back until he was barely inside you before slamming into you. it forced another scream from your throat and you cried for him to keep going, voice already hoarse. 

“you’re the only one” you repeated, bringing your fingers down to rub your clit as you felt your climax approaching. you paid attention to the obscene sounds of his skin slapping against yours and his sexy little grunts. before you know it, another orgasm is rushing through your body and you’re twisting in pleasure with high, needy moans pouring from your mouth. 

“fuck, that’s so sexy” josh huffed, watching you fall apart for him yet again, “where do you want me to cum?” he asked. 

“cum inside me, josh. i want you to fill me up” you answered, and he raised an eyebrow. 

“don’t worry, i’m on birth control” you said, smiling at him and licking your lips. he nodded his head and sped his hips up, thrusting with vigor and purpose. 

“you want it in you, damn, i’m gonna give it to you baby” he said, letting go of your thighs and moving to rest his body back on top of you. a moment later his hips slowed considerably and he was cumming inside you with moans of your name on his lips. you hugged his body tighter to you, running your hands over his back as he pumped you slowly through his own slickness. he remained on top of you, softly kissing your lips and neck until both your breathing went back to normal and his dick softened. 

“oh my god” you said, breaking the comfortable silence. 

“yeah” josh said, laughing. the kindness returned to his eyes and he seemed exactly like how you first met him. only difference was now, he was finally pulling out of you and wiping his cum off your lower lips with your own panties. 

“umm…we’ll just hide these back here. so, see you thursday?” josh said, winking. you laughed as you were putting your clothes back on. 

“it’s a date” you said, kissing him on the lips before heading out of the back of the store. 

————————————–

also here’s this interview of josh talking about drums 😍