how does it feel to break and bend

1) Smile at strangers. Because the world is tough enough without holding back such a simple kindness.
And so what if they don’t smile back? A smile is a gift to both the giver and the receiver.

2) Exhale compliments like carbon dioxide. You’re carrying a mouth full of bandages if you’d only say something.

3) School is important. But not more important than your mental health.

4) Your goals are attainable. Everyone who ever did; first believed that they could. So believe. Every expert was once a novice. So practice.

5) Be honest.

6) Don’t take your friends for granted. Take them to the movies instead. Hold them tighter. Remember that it might be the last time.

7)Living is not about competing with everyone else. I know it feels like a race but the only record you need to beat is your own. Be better than you were yesterday.

8)Your success doesn’t mean another person’s failure. You won’t get happiness by taking it away from someone else.

9)You are worthy. You are good. You are loved. Don’t ever forget it. Write it down before breakfast. Sing it in the shower. Feel it in your bones like marrow; in your skin like pins and needles; in your heart like a first love.

10) The count down is silent but you’re still running out of time. Do the things you’ve been thinking about.

11) I know that fear of success can be even more paralysing than fear of failure. What if you achieve all your goals? What if your dreams really do come true? But you won’t find the answer by asking the question.

12) Things will not always work out how you hoped. Be flexible. When the hurricane comes remember that the tree that does not bend; will break.

13) Buy yourself flowers. You are all the reason you need.

14) Be kind to your body. Drink more water. Take a nap. Dance. Don’t just live; feel alive.

15) Applaud yourself. You did good. You’ll do better. The possibilities are endless.

16) Be patient. Most of the things that take time are worth waiting for.

17) You can change whenever you want to. This is your story. So turn to a fresh page. Write yourself over. Call it a plot twist. Don’t let anyone tell you how it ends.

—  17 things I need you to remember this year by Ceres @mentamorphisis

litlifelover  asked:

Hey guys! LOVE your work, thank you for always making people happy on their special day. I would be really happy if I could get one for my birthday? It's March 23rd, and I love established college Everlark, something funny to read, with sexy times (explicit or not is totally up to the author). :) Thank you so, so, so much!!!

Originally posted by itadakimasu-letmeeat

Happiest of birthdays @litlifelover ! To help you celebrate, we’ve put together a little Everlark afternoon delight, just for you! Enjoy!

rated E

The door slams shut behind Katniss as she heads for the elevator. It opens again almost immediately and Peeta rushes out. But she doesn’t turn.

“Katniss, wait!” He catches up to her just as the button flickers to life, signaling the metal box to the fourth floor of Peeta’s dorm. “You don’t understand-”

She whirls on her boyfriend, glaring him down. She’s had enough of his mother forcing him to come home and ‘visit’ his family while she parades the hometown bachelorettes in front of him, hoping he’ll pick any of them and drop Katniss like a sack of hot potatoes. It’s no secret Mrs. Mellark despises her, and the feeling is mutual. Katniss just doesn’t understand why Peeta refuses to see it.

“I understand perfectly, Peeta. You go running home to your mother and leave me behind to keep the peace in the family. Oh and you go on ‘dates’,” her fingers mimic air quotes and her line of sight hits the ceiling from the intensity of her eye roll, “that she forces you on.” Peeta sighs and runs his hands through his hair, but she keeps talking because she doesn’t want to hear him apologize. A Peeta apology would melt her like wax and she doesn’t want to relent this time. No, this time - she’s standing her ground. “You’re ashamed of me. Fine. I get it. The girl from the wrong side of the tracks and the rich son who she’s not good enough for. Just stop pretending that you’re actually going to do something about it, alright?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

J0nsas are trying to convince themselves that Jon is manipulating dany because he has done it before with ygritte. Even if we ignore that we have the leaks. They conveniently forget that both stories are presented differently to the audience, with J/Y we knew from the beginning that he was playing her and that even she also knew it, with dany that never happens because that isnt the case. Jon going 'oh it was all a tramp' is serious character assassination, but I guess it doesn't matter to them.

As if that’s even remotely the same situation. Jon was in a hostage situation with the wildlings. He had to gain their trust to survive. Ygritte was all part of that. He had to convince them he’d abandoned the Nights Watch by breaking ALL his vows. It’s not a coincidence that starts to happen the same time him and Ygritte’s relationship gets physical. His feelings for her complicated things, but it was always about staying alive to him and that’s why he was able to turn his back on her and leave the first chance he got. How is that even remotely similar to what’s happening with Dany? He’s not trying to trick her into anything. He genuinely wants her help. After the wight hunt, he has her support before he says he would bend the knee. He does it out of gratitude and respect for what she’s sacrificed. Not as a bargaining or manipulation tool. Imagine thinking Jon would even do that to her. I’ve grown tired of people shitting on Jon’s character to push their shipping narrative.

CS + shooting stars

Summary: Emma and Killian have their moment beneath the stars.

Word Count: 2,556

Rating: M

The last thing Emma Swan expected to do in Tucson, Arizona was attend an astronomy camp and meet Killian Jones, the counselor who managed to sweep her off her feet with his gorgeous looks, lilting British accent, and innuendos about the constellations and the both of them.

But at the moment, Emma finds herself lying on a blanket laid out on the desert sand in a secret spot of her own - with Killian - somewhere where nobody else will be able to find them, and looking up at the sky dotted with thousands of tiny stars twinkling down on them.

Emma rolls on her side to throw an arm around Killian’s neck and pillow her golden head on his chest. She closes her eyes and smiles before turning her head to bury her face into his shoulder.

“Don’t fall asleep just yet, love,” Killian admonishes with a chuckle. “You have yet to see the Cygnus.”

“You’ve been my counselor for two weeks now and you still haven’t shown me your favorite constellation.” She shakes her head and laughs. “That’s bad form, mate,” she adds, poorly imitating Killian’s accent.

Killian chuckles again, his chest shaking beneath her head. “Hold on, Swan.” He shifts and she rises to lean forward on her elbow as she looks down at him. He opens his arms in open invitation and she immediately submits, wrapping her arms around him as well. She feels his hand ghost over hers, linking their fingers together as he lifts their joined hands so he can kiss her knuckles tenderly before stretching out towards the sky, outlining the shape of a swan in the sky. “Do you see it now?”

Keep reading

1) Smile at strangers. Because the world is tough enough without holding back such a simple kindness.
And so what if they don’t smile back? A smile is a gift to both the giver and the receiver.

2) Exhale compliments like carbon dioxide. You’re carrying a mouth full of bandages if you’d only say something.

3) School is important. But not more important than your mental health.

4) Your goals are attainable. Everyone who ever did; first believed that they could. So believe. Every expert was once a novice. So practice.

5) Be honest.

6) Don’t take your friends for granted. Take them to the movies instead. Hold them tighter. Remember that it might be the last time.

7)Living is not about competing with everyone else. I know it feels like a race but the only record you need to beat is your own. Be better than you were yesterday.

8)Your success doesn’t mean another person’s failure. You won’t get happiness by taking it away from someone else.

9)You are worthy. You are good. You are loved. Don’t ever forget it. Write it down before breakfast. Sing it in the shower. Feel it in your bones like marrow; in your skin like pins and needles; in your heart like a first love.

10) The count down is silent but you’re still running out of time. Do the things you’ve been thinking about.

11) I know that fear of success can be even more paralysing than fear of failure. What if you achieve all your goals? What if your dreams really do come true? But you won’t find the answer by asking the question.

12) Things will not always work out how you hoped. Be flexible. When the hurricane comes remember that the tree that does not bend; will break.

13) Buy yourself flowers. You are all the reason you need.

14) Be kind to your body. Drink more water. Take a nap. Dance. Don’t just live; feel alive.

15) Applaud yourself. You did good. You’ll do better. The possibilities are endless.

16) Be patient. Most of the things that take time are worth waiting for.

17) You can change whenever you want to. This is your story. So turn to a fresh page. Write yourself over. Call it a plot twist. Don’t let anyone tell you how it ends.

—  17 things I need you to remember this year // Ceres

(for romantic endeavwors.)

[Listen on 8TRACKS]

A playlist for all your Cronus/pre-scratch trolls needed, including selfshipping!

 | Let’s leave it just like this, right after all is said and done
| Every night they fall like dominoes - How he does it, only Heaven knows
| Tell all your secrets, no one will want you - It’s for your own good, I know what’s best for you
| Vows are spoken to be broken - Feelings are intense, words are trivial
| We’re so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully pretty, oh you know that I’d do anything for you
| And I’m telling you as fast as I can I’m a trend, a trend - ‘Cause I don’t break hearts, I just dent them
| I don’t wanna bend, Let the bad girls bend, I just wanna be your friend, but you’re giving me a hard time
 | Boy you’d better run, get out before you’re done
Now if we’re talking body, you’ve got a perfect one so put it on me
| It’s harder and harder to get you to listen, more I get through the gears - Incapable of making alright decisions, and having bad ideas
| When the lights come on and the party’s through, there are always a few with nobody to do, well now don’t despair - You’ll eventually get there
| Struck down by a prayer and she compels you, you can’t help it

~40 min. Photo credit, actual tracklist beneath the cut.

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Belong - NSFW SMUTTINESS- Jon x Sansa

Sansa knows how to push Jon’s buttons to get him worked up the way she likes him - POSSESSIVE 😜…. ok guys - don’t read on if you have any issues with a dominant Jon and subby Sansa…. definitely NSFW!

Jon is unaware as to what first triggered it - this burning need to take and claim, this pleasant rage that fuels his movements and words, but he knows that there’s no going back now, not with how pliant she has become, how maliable and yielding.

Keep reading

Falling in love and staying in love with the same person is never an easy thing. You love them regardless of their flaws. You love them even if there would be those moments you wish you did not, for those moments you felt you are not enough. How does it feel to fall for someone who doesn’t know how to really love? It unimaginable and it is so hard to be honest. It felt like being hit by something so hard to my heart. It will test every ounce of patience that you have, to the point of you want to give up and leave and forget how you feel for that person.
No one says it is easy to love. But the hard part is to love a broken person. To love a person who sees themselves as a failure. To love someone who use to perceive love as merely a game. Until they fell for you. They don’t know how to treat a person exactly the way that person treats them. Pulling them out of the dark, bringing them to the light to see that there is a better place outside their own world. Funny, when a kind and loving person is able to melt the ice around the heart of the person who used to believe that love is not for them.
But to love a person like her, you will find yourself broken too many times, until she realize how much you love her. That you will be the light she needs in her dark, cold world. That you are the person who can change her life completely. And how does it feel to be tested by love beyond your own limitations? It will absolutely bend you and break you. But if you can survive all of that, and proved that you will love her for everything that she is, she will realize, how lucky and blessed she is, to have you in her life. And she will never let you go.

look up more.

Are you ready to follow Jesus? Look up more.

Look up more by looking down into the Gospels. We are being conformed to the image of Christ, intended to be displays of his very self, just as he is the human display of God. How can we do that if we don’t know what he is like in the first place? How can we do that if we don’t know how he interacted with people, how he taught them, what he stopped for, how far he stooped down? Knowing all of the law in the world won’t mean a thing if we don’t know Jesus Christ himself, if we fail to display his glory and love to the world around us.

(does this already sound painful?)

Look up more. Feel your back break as you bend low to approach somebody—everybody—from a position of grace. Jesus is full of grace and truth, but every time he interact with somebody he approached them from a position of grace simply because he approached them in the first place. What else could you possibly call the Creator of the universe coming down, stepping into his creation and interacting with them, if not an act of grace and humility? Not only did he step down but he came to serve, he came to give, and he calls us to do the same.

(are you already flinching away? hold on tight. it is just beginning.)

Look up more. The callouses of the defences you’ve built up will rip off your hands, off your soul, as you bare it open to the one who created it and to those around you. He calls us to love like he does and that can only be accomplished by ripping our ribcage open, by offering everything that our hearts have to give to the aching and broken world around us. The unconditional love of the Father is the most powerful weapon that’s been given to us to beat back the darkness of this world, to conquer the hatred and the anger. Will you make yourself a target to draw near to the hurting? Will you hold your arms out in surrender as you reach for the one?

(is this the glory that you’re looking for?)

Look up more. The sun will scorch your neck as you endure it to help those who are in need. Not just those that you are drawn to, but those who you might not have even given a second thought to. Jesus bent down to the children, to the lame, to the broken. He broke thousands of pieces of bread and fish so that the large crowds that followed him wouldn’t go without. He gave of himself again, and again, and again, even when he tried to slip away to have some time to himself with his father and the crowds followed him, persistent.

(would you sacrifice your quiet evenings and weekends for those who are still far off?)

Look up more. Your feet will ache as your pride peels away, as you walk further than what just benefits yourself so that your neighbour will not fall behind. Your neighbour who you are called to love, whether they are like you or different from you, whether you could hang out with them every day or you despise them for “not working hard enough”, or “taking advantage of the system”, or “depending on other people to do the work”, or “they wouldn’t do the same for me”.

(they all have ears. what are they hearing from you?)

Look up more. Reach out to your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. Feels your muscles stretch as your mind riots, as you feel your entire self want to look back. Don’t turn them away form your doorstep—welcome them in. Give of yourself. Feed them, clothe them. Give them water even when they have an enormous disregard for your own wellbeing.

(we are not so much like Jesus as we think we are. that is why he is the one to do the work in us.)

Look up more. Embrace that ache in your chest as you are stretched beyond yourself, further than what you want to go, as you surrender every last bit of yourself in the pursuit of something greater than yourself. As you get into the grit of not just coexisting with other people but working with them, the discomfort of personalities grinding together and clashing as they are both refined. As you shed the ideas and attitudes and thoughts of this world, ingrained into you since young adulthood since your teenaged years since childhood that have no place in the Kingdom. Throw that wasp up your theological kilt. Challenge your ideas, your attitudes, what you’ve always thought. Work it out. Strain under the weight of it, your muscles burning and tearing as they break under the strain and rebuild themselves to be stronger.

(it’s going to feel like you’re dying. to be fair, Jesus said that it would have to happen)

Read the Gospels more. Build on the foundation of Jesus, of what he’s like. You will need the reminder. You are being made into something new, something better, so shake off yourself and look up more.

while we’re on the subject:

@ The Whites:

Why is it that we have to bend over backwards, break our backs, practically beg you on our knees for a seat at the table (and are expected to grin and bear it when we’re told ‘no’), but the moment we go and set up a table for ourselves, you decide to invite yourselves and take offense when we tell you ‘no’?

how does it feel to live with that amount of entitlement?

anonymous asked:

can you explain that bit about Feferi being abusive to Eridan and Sollux?


The very premise of moiraillegiance on Alternia is that of the pacifier and the one that needs pacified. Between the two of them, as bad as the pale relationship was in the first place, you’d think to see at least something of this dynamic. Specifically, Feferi pacifying Eridan, since obviously Feferi doesn’t seem to have any violent urges.

And yet, as his moirail, Feferi instead has him doing her job of killing lusii to feed her lusus. Instead of tempering his urges, she instead bends them to her own interests, so that she doesn’t have to do it herself.

Feferi also doesn’t really seem all that interested in the pale quad with him any more than he does? She goes on and on about how ‘hard’ it is, but she didn’t bother to break up with him until after they were in the Medium, after she no longer needed him in order to kill for Gl’gbolyb’s meals. She was basically toying with his feelings and using him, and felt that it was justified.


The first example to come to mind takes place in Alterniabound, when you approach the horn pile as Karkat. In this scene, Feferi basically offers to air Sollux;s insecurities and feelings to Karkat, with no permission from Sollux, who in fact seems pretty uncomfortable with the idea.

She deems his insecurities and mental illness(es) as ‘cute’, while babying him, infantilizing him pretty much. Which is extremely degrading and bad.

anonymous asked:

Kuroha demands lots from Shintaro, not only his attention, but also his body and love. He wants the God to give everything to him, eternally. So Kuroha makes a plan, in order to make Shintaro vows for him forever. To do that, he must kill the ones the god loves the most, so that Shintaro can only depend on him. And the first people on his list, will be Seto, Shintaro's right-handed man, and Kano, the adviser. Those boys, because they are Shintaro's loyal beloved, he will make them die first.

((Drabble 3/14?(wow what laughs nervously)))

Send me a harushin, konoshin, kuroshin, setoshin or kanoshin drabble! Accepting anons and every genre your heart desires~

Wow anon

Why are you asking me for stories good god get out there and write some of your own because that is literally the best plot idea I have heard all week

I would totally fave just saying

Also, I assume you want me to write an AU judging by the whole god thing

If not I’m an idiot I’m sorry

Oh yeah happy(it’s not late sHOOOSH) bday NEET boy here u go I got you some sads

Also wow this is long

And shitty as all hell

So under the read more you go

((Read all the drabbles here!))

Title: Chemical Jasmine

Pairings: Kuroshin, kanoshin, setoshin, konoshin(one-sided)

Rating: T

Keep reading


Klaus is a myth, the bogieman of the supernatural world, and he is unfathomable… until one day he is sitting in Caroline’s bed promising her an eternity of birthday’s, saving her life, wishing that the anniversary of her birth- when her death has been everything she is for quite some time now- is happy. What kind of devil does that? What kind of devil runs his fingers through her hair as he offers her a vein.

Looking at her like an artist only can, Klaus doesn’t know what hit him, because like the atmosphere weighing us down, or the electricity sizzling all around us, Caroline is an experience, not an entity. Her flesh, though stunning and absolute, is not a cage. She is boundless and how could he not pause and take her in? His is the kind of gaze that makes the sun shiver, and what is Caroline, but his light? Darkness is theirs, and so is that heat.

After years of distraction and war and the entire world demanding that they stay apart and remain steadfast enemies, nothing kept them from friends, then? Or a confession in the woods that only the leaves heard and whispered about. She could only allude to what she wanted, but make no mistake that every sigh she breathed into him was another admission, letting him know that now may only be temporarily theirs, but forever knows the way she clung to him when the sun was gone and it was time for him to go and keep his promise to her. Walking away, he felt her eyes on him, and that made each footstep bearable.

Reason? Ha! That notion has no place here, where Klaus should be a thousand years dead and nothing but the pine or oak tree by the Falls. Ever trying Caroline, would spend time there falling for and under the wrong boys, and second guessing herself in the reflection of the roaring waters- and maybe she would get it right. Yet, there is nothing reasonable about a still heart that can feel such emotion for someone centuries apart, but so bloody touchable. You can see it in his eyes, that he knows what a gift it is to have survived nature, because Caroline is cosmic, she is the sun. It will always be his, even when every soul alive on the earth is replaced with a new generation of dying humans.

One day Caroline will wake up in a city that chafes at her skin and in a bed that smells like the feeling in her gut that she can only call dissatisfaction, and she will gather her things, pausing only at the door to her hotel, wondering how she ever thought it could provide what she was looking for when all it contained inside was overpriced booze and a safe emptier than she. And she will know exactly where to go- because two can play the game of keeping tabs- and when her knuckles meet finely polished wood, the responding echo won’t sound so hollow.

Love is not inherently good, nor is it innocent. It is chemical, yet so above humanity’s ability to grasp it. Yes, it hurts and it can be a battle and make you want to kill the object of your desires- a softly whispered, “Caroline?” to make sure she’s still there, because god forbid Klaus gets in his own way again. Not when it comes to her- but that’s what makes it worth it. When everything you’ve experienced has conditioned you to fight the thing that makes your heart sing and your whole world careen to a stop… that’s love. And Klaus looks at her like a wolf begging the moon to come down to him and take away the pain of night that has been bound to him for centuries, and if only he could find a cliff tall enough, maybe she would stop looking down on him and just be his already.

Ignited by the same heat that lines the walls of Tartarus, they know what it’s like to see red and want to dance in the blood each other no longer really needs. It’s a craving, to destroy and obliterate the other with words and fangs and miles and miles of distance. Flames dance high and without break, and if primordial beings can’t escape this kind of boundary, what makes them think they can? Caroline needs to feel Klaus break under her, because if she’s the only one with fragile bones, then how could she ever be his? With the strength of a thousand men, and then some, Klaus is either the end of her or the part of her that keeps her standing tall, and she needs him to show her which one she’ll walk beside, if she’s ever to find forever in the lines on his palms. Klaus, so lost and misguided, only knows the destruction of love, and Caroline does not bend to him, so how on earth is he supposed to know if she’s true- if she could ever be his? Little does he know, that by walking away, he gives her everything she needs to come after him and make all the doubts he has fade into nothing but a smile. Because she will be giving him love, when he has only known how to take it.

New, blue fabric has a way of becoming more than a dress that moves along a beautiful woman’s form. It was only supposed to be a gift, a bribe to get a trifle of a fancy out of his system. Yes, he saw it and knew it would do just fine. Just fine- what an understatement, when it wrapped around her like the stars themselves took a dip in the sea. It embodied the depths of her eyes and the frozen lines beneath the skin of her collarbones. How do you walk away from that sort of perfection? Klaus is a starving artist, desperate for purpose, and she becomes it. Would muse suffice when the drawings his hands produce are nothing short of offerings to the goddess with sunlight hair and eyes that oceans could only pretend to be. Love at first sight? Hardly. She became his North Star, his beacon, which means so much more to a man without a heart, for he needed to be found or to find, or to stumble across the way his heart tastes in his throat before he dares utter the words he knows only in theory.

Eternity. There is no end. 

This dominant narrative surrounding the inevitability of female objectification and victimhood is so powerful that it not only defines our concepts of reality but it even sets the parameters for how we think about entirely fictional worlds, even those taking place in the realms of fantasy and science fiction. It’s so normalized that when these elements are critiqued, the knee-jerk response I hear most often is that if these stories did not include the exploitation of women, then the game worlds would feel too “unrealistic” or “not historically accurate”. What does it say about our culture when games routinely bend or break the laws of physics and no one bats an eye? When dragons, ogres and magic are inserted into historically influenced settings without objection. We are perfectly willing to suspend our disbelief when it comes to multiple lives, superpowers, health regeneration and the ability to carry dozens of weapons and items in a massive invisible backpack. But somehow the idea of a world without sexual violence and exploitation is deemed too strange and too bizarre to be believable.
—  Tropes vs Women in Video Games, Women as Background Decoration: Part 2
Dimensions...Part 4

(Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Epilogue)

Sitting back down at the dinner table, you look over at Rossi and smile lightly.

“Thank you for letting me use your restroom,” you say meekly.

“Anytime,” he smiles kindly.

“So! We were all talking abo-…Ow!”

As Garcia glares at J.J., you furrow your brow as she bends down and rubs her shin.

“So,” J.J. says, spearing a bit of her salad from her plate, “How does this DC compare to the one you’re from?”

“It’s actually not that different.  I mean, some of my favorite places are in different areas, but they’re all still there.”

“Well, maybe those places will help you feel at ease until we can figure out a way to get you home,” Prentiss muses.

As Spencer’s fork stops midway to his mouth, his gaze faltering over to you, everyone looks over at him as Morgan breaks the silence, your eyes quickly darting over to Spencer before taking a sip of your drink.

“You alright, pretty boy?” he asks.

Choking on your water, you wipe your mouth with the napkin in your lap as you choke out between coughs, “P-pretty…boy?”

“Yeah, that or boy wonder,” J.J. smirks, her eyes dancing over Spencer as he flushes furiously.

“So…y-you’re a doctor over here?” you ask quietly, your eyes diverting to Spencer.

“I mean, I have doctorates…but I’m not a medical doctor.  I have 3 Ph.D.’s in a wide range of subjects.”

As your eyes widen, he starts to ramble again.

“Everyone says I’m a genius, but I don’t believe that intelligence is quantifiable.  My IQ is 187 but it’s not really an accurate portrayal of how smart someone is. I-I can also process 20,000 words a minute if I need to, but I also have an eidetic memory, so it’s easy to remember things that I read.”

Feeling your jaw slowly drop as he continues on about himself, the team smirks in your general direction as Spencer stops mid-sentence.

“Miss Y/N, are you alright?” Hotch asks.

“Y/N?” Garcia prods.

“Hey, is she alright?” Morgan leans in and asks J.J.

Blinking as you process what he’s told you, you shake your head and laugh incredulously.

“Ho-ho-holy god!” you exclaim, leaning back in your dinner chair and shaking your head.

“Is…is that a good…thing?” Spencer asks, his eyes searching your laughing face as you try to take deep breaths.

“You…you are nothing like what you were back home,” you breathe, trying to catch your breath as you fan your face.

As Spencer looks from Morgan to Hotch, his gaze slowly returns to you as he sets his glass down


Swallowing hard as you feel your eyes widen, you try to calm your mind, taking a deep breath as you look at the napkin in your lap. 

Fiddling with it nervously, you feel your chest begin to constrict as you begin to twirl the cloth napkin around your fingers.

“Spencer,” you state, “…you…um…”

Feeling your bottom lip begin to quiver as tears pool in your eyes, you feel someone reach over and take your hand, squeezing it reassuringly as a tear finally escapes down your cheek.


Looking up at him with your misty gaze as you feel your heart rate speed up, your hand begins to tremble as tears begin to rumble down your cheeks.

“Spencer…” you breathe.

“I’m not alive over there, am I?” he asks, his eyes searching for grimacing face as your nose begins to crinkle.

Shaking your head lightly, you swallow hard as you sink you tear-stained gaze back into your lap.

“We buried you 4 years ago.”

As the table falls silent, the girls’ eyes watering as the men throw a hesitant glance over at Spencer, who was eyeing you carefully, you suddenly stand up from your seat, your legs wobbling as you stumble out from behind the table.

“I…uh…need to go get some fresh air.”

Rushing over to your coat, you grab it in your salty wet hands as you throw Rossi’s front door open, tripping out on to the porch as you go falling to the ground.

Putting your hand over your mouth as you perch back on your feet, you put your face in your hands as you begin to sob, the emotion from the past two days finally bubbling to the top.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, you feel a pair of strong hands place themselves on your knees.

Slowly dropping your hands from your face, your cheeks bathe in your tears as your eyes rise slowly to meet his.

“What can I do?” Spencer pleads.

Shaking your head as you look at him, you sniffle as you unravel your napkin from your hand, bringing it to your face as you wipe at your nose.

“You are so different…” you trail off.

“And you’re alive,” you whisper, your eyes looking up at his face as you let out a ragged breath.

“That’s why you have a hard time being around me…” he trails off.


Nodding quickly, he sees the flicker of secrecy roll across your face before you can attempt to backtrack out of the situation.

“Hey, you guys need anything?” Garcia asks, barely above a whisper as she steps out and crouches down beside you, her kind hand rubbing your back as you try to put yourself back together.

“No, no…I think we’re alright,” Spencer says, smiling weakly as she nods and gets up.

“Y/N, we can take you home if you want to go,” Garcia offers as her hand lightly lands on your shoulder.

“Don’t make me go home,” you plead, renewed sobs rising back to the surface.

“Please don’t make me go back there,” you whisper down to the ground.

As Garcia’s eyes widen, her gaze watering of its own volition as she flickers her worried gaze up to Spencer, she dips back down quickly and kisses the top of your head before stepping back inside and slowly closing the door.

They were so different.

So kind.

But Spencer…

Spencer was completely different.

“You know, you didn’t have any doctorates,” you say through your stuffy nose, twirling the napkin around your fingers again as he helps you to your feet.

“Oh, really?” he says, guiding you to a rocking chair on Rossi’s porch as he slowly lowers you in to it.

“Yeah.  I mean you were smart.  So very smart…but you never pursued anything beyond a Master’s in Psychology.”

As Spencer sits beside you in the another chair, his eyes locked onto you as you stare off into the sky, your eyes search the twinkling lights as you point to the brightest one.

“See that star?” you ask.

As Spencer follows your gaze, he smiles as he nods.

“Once we-”

Pausing as your mind begins to slip back into the past, you feel his hand on your shoulder as he caresses your upper arm with his thumb.

“You don’t have to talk about it now,” he says, “Not if you’re not ready.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, your hand slowly making its way back to your lap as your mind continues to swirl, your gaze locked on that bright and shining star.

Yours and his star.

The bright and shining star that he had named just for you…

Slowly letting your gaze fall back on Spencer, his lanky frame nestled into the rocking chair as his feet slowly move the chair back and forth, you couldn’t help but rake your eyes across his figure.

He was different.

So, so different.

But something has to be the same.  That was the principle: in an alternate reality, no matter how different something is, there is always a point, or event…or action…that grounds that object or person into it’s reality.  Something that carries over, like Morgan’s grin or Garcia’s technological brain.

And your stomach began to churn.

“Do you have an issue with Dilaudid?”

As Spencer’s gaze quickly whips to yours, your brow furrows as his eyes quickly lock back onto yours.

His stern, shocked, wondering eyes.

Staring at him with a serious expression, your eyes never wavering as you feel the bile rising in your esophagus, you clear your throat and ask again.

“Do you…have an issue…with Dilaudid?  Here?”

Watching him as his hand slowly slips in to his pocket, you watch as his fingers work its way around something as his face slowly lets go of the surprise and fades slowly into sadness.

“Of all the things to stay the same,” you mutter, shaking your head as you push yourself to your feet.

“Y/N,” he says, catching your arm as you turn back towards him.

“What?” you ask flatly.

“I did.  I did have a problem with Dilaudid.  But I’ve been sober for over 6 years now,” he declares, pulling his sobriety coin from his pocket.

Watching as he slowly presses the coin in to the palm of your hand, your eyes brew fresh tears as he slowly wrap your fingers around it as you mindlessly begin to bring it to your chest.

Uncurling your fingers as you take in the beautiful sight of his sobriety coin, you hold it up against the bare skin of your sternum, your head lowering as you squeeze your eyes shut.

“We worked…so hard…” you choke out, “We couldn’t even…”

As your chest tries to hold back your sobs, a light whimper escapes from between your lips as Spencer’s eyes start to water.

Watching him fly from his seat, he wraps his arms around you, his right hand landing in your hair as he strokes it gently, and his left arm wrapping itself tightly around your waist, pulling you close to his chest as you bury your face into his shirt.

Even his hug was different.

Of all the things to be the same…

Sobbing into his chest as he holds you close, his body lightly rocking yours side to side as he lowly shushes in your ear, you finally regain composure as your tear ducts tire out from producing tears.

You feel Spencer slowly extend his arms as your body parts from his, and as you take a deep breath, followed by a very audible and tired sigh, you hold his sobriety coin out for him as he takes it and drops it back in his pocket.

“Look at me,” he urges.

Shaking your head, you feel his finger hook under your chin as he lightly applies pressure, your gaze drifting up to his.

“How did you know to ask if I had a problem?” he inquires, his stern eyes searching yours as the memories once again come flooding to the front

And as you raise your thumb to wipe away a tear that had begun its descent down the curve of his cheek, you swallow hard as the words catch in your throat, your voice getting lost in a sea of emotion and despair.

“Because that’s how I lost you,” you whisper.

25 Will-Not's: A Letter to My Future Husband and His Son
  1. I will not stutter when I introduce myself, even if my name carries age-long history of war and chaos on its back.
  2. I will not crouch to make your ego fit through the door. If it is too big, tie it to some tree outside, and leave it there.
  3. I will not ask you to hold the door open for me, or pay the bill just because you are one X chromosome short.
  4. I will not tell you you are less of a gentleman if you let me take care of myself.
  5. I will not define you as someone’s father, brother, or son. I will call you by the names you wear on your character.
  6. I will not look at your beard, biceps, or boots, when I am talking to you.
  7. I will not assume you are an animal, uncultivated to the concept of self-control.
  8. I will not use your sex to praise anyone. Walking, playing, and driving “like a man” will not mean much.
  9. I will not look for rulers to measure your worth with, in the pages of popular magazines.
  10. I will not introduce myself to you as a meninist before I state my opinions on the rights endowed to you simply because you were born human.
  11. I will not ask you to change your last name or your prefix just so everyone knows you are mine.
  12. You do not have to carry your great grandfathers’ sins on your back. I will not ask you “inta wad meno?
  13. I will not place my identity at your feet and wait for you to define me. My life will not start when you help put my ovaries to work. My purpose will not be defined by what I carry for you in my womb. My career will not end at the sound of our child’s first cries.
  14. To Our Son: I will not quote God to tell you who you are, where you should be, and what you should wear. His power is not mine, I will not pretend to exercise it to control or liberate you.
  15. I will not tell you to go back to the tool shed, the living room, the gym, or the front yard to play sports. You are free to find yourself in whatever room fits.
  16. I will not staple the title “of the house” to your creation when I want you to be responsible. I will only teach you that responsibility is heavy, but any human can, will, and should carry it. I will teach you to carry it well.
  17. I will not call you anything but your name when you fall. I will not ask you to stop crying, or whining “like a girl” when you tell me it hurts. I will only ask you to remember what pain feels like. Remember what it takes to trip, fall, and hurt; and what it feels like to find a helping hand extended to you. I will  teach you to sympathize with those who fall, and to understand that hurting is human, you do not have to be angry at the ground for knocking you down, you do not have to push anyone down to stand up again.
  18. I will not ask you to mow the lawn if you like to wash the dishes. You will learn that you can, and will, clean up after yourself. Your genetic make-up is not a free pass on life.
  19. I will not apologize for the privileges that you will find at your doorstep when your voice begins to change, and your hair begins to plant itself on your face. But I will expect you to know a privilege from a right, and understand that your privilege must not stand taller than anyone else’s rights.
  20. I will not ask you to aspire to marriage because I will not wait for institution “to discipline you”. Boys will not be “just boys” when they are reckless and inconsiderate.
  21. I will not let you break the earth, and freeze the walls of your ribcage until another woman tells you to stop.
  22. I will not remind you of the 9 months I carried you. They are not a debt you owe me, I did not choose to have the ability to bring you into life. But it is an ability I welcomed.
  23. I will not forget to tell you about the man who chose to help me carry you. Who carried me when I could not move forward alone. Who will teach you what I cannot.
  24. I will not tell you that you and your sister are the same, because you will not believe me. Instead I will give you paper and ask you to write. When you tell me you cannot write without a pen, I will give you one and take away the paper. We will do this until you learn to tell me that you cannot write without a pen and paper. That they are different, but equally important. I will teach you how to carry opportunity with one hand and open doors with the other. And if ever you fall and break your leg, I will remind you to take note of your fragility. I will tell you to keep walking even when you feel it is physically impossible; and when you are well I will remind you of what it felt like to move forward on one foot. I will remind you that it may not be impossible, just unnecessarily difficult. I will remind you how you wished you had seen that hole that trip you before it broke your speed of progress in half. I will teach you that it does not matter which leg bends first, or which takes the first step forward. It only matters that both can carry you towards your goals. It only matters that you are headed in the right direction. It only matters that you love yourself whole, that you understand how you are a world in and of yourself, and to respect yourself is to project respect.
  25. Finally, I will not love you less for falling, for wearing dress shoes instead of sneakers, or for knowing more about the kitchen than UEFA; and I should only hope that you can take my unconditional love and respect for your character and pass it on to your friend, your coworker, your wife, your daughter, and, of course, your son.

anonymous asked:

i feel like one of the reason aang never could fly is cause he never tried ? sure he let go of his earthly tether (katara)but he never really aimed to go to the point zaheer did? i think zaheer was a character that was suppose to be a extreme in air bending ?

Yeah Zaheer was EXTREEME!!!! because he’s literally a Gary Stu who breaks the rules of bending. Airbenders flew on gliders using the aid of the wind. How does a human body do that? It’s literally impossible. You’re telling me that Aang, a master Airbender who literally invented new techniques, couldn’t have figured out how to fly like that if it were possible? Airbenders aren’t just magical people who can do anything, which is what Zaheer was. Airbenders have rules they play by just like other bending forms. It’s well established how Aang could fly and Zaheer just spits in the face of that with his Gary Stu powers. There is literally nothing in ATLA that would support the ability of someone to use Airbending for sustained flight without the help of a glider. 

eruri fic, 1.5k words. 

so my friend gigi was talking about a hurt/comfort thing where one person was forced to kill for the first time, and i wanted to do it for the eruris, but i had to majorly fudge with the plot to make it happen. so uh this is canon divergence au where erwin joined up w/ them for a showdown with kenny’s crew? or something?? just go with it shhh

also on ao3

“It was your first,” Levi says, and it’s not a question.

There’s still blood on the tips of Erwin’s fingers, and when he nods he rubs them together, making a tacky sound they both cringe from. Levi dips the cloth into the sink full of water again, wrings it out. He crosses the washroom to kneel in front of Erwin, who’s sitting cross-legged against the wall and staring like he can still see a body at his feet.

Killing is familiar to Levi. It bothers him, itches somewhere he’ll never be able to scrub clean, but it’s something he’s known since Kenny handed him his first knife. He hates taking human life more than most anything, and he can do it better than most anyone.

But Erwin. Erwin is the hand guiding soldiers to their possible deaths, not the hand of the titan crushing their bones. For Erwin, Levi knows, it makes no difference. He assumes every ounce of blame as if he’s personally taken every life sacrificed under his command. But he’s never struck a final blow. Not until today.

There’s been blood on his hands for decades, Erwin’s confessed in private. He likes his little metaphors, and now there’s one made visual for him.

“Give me your arm,” Levi says.

Keep reading

christina perri lyric starter meme
  • 1. "I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most."
  • 2. "Do you feel the way I do right now?"
  • 3. "I wish we would just give up."
  • 4. "How the hell does a broken heart get back together when it’s torn apart?"
  • 5. "Don’t you think it was hard?"
  • 6. "She swears that you may be better than all the rest."
  • 7. "If he was something special, I wouldn’t have this song."
  • 8. "How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?"
  • 9. "And now you know why."
  • 10. "Call it anything but love."
  • 11. "I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well."
  • 12. "Can the lonely take the place of you?"
  • 13. "I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling."
  • 14. "I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone."
  • 15. "So unfortunately, for girls like me there are more like you, bending and breaking the rules and we're making exceptions too."
  • 16. "But how does it feel to swim in your own tears?"
  • 17. "Bang, bang, bang, boy."
  • 18. "You lied and you lied."
  • 19. "There's been so many fights that I fought I've never won."
  • 20. "Karma tastes so sweet."
  • 21. "I'm afraid of what you'll see right now."
  • 22. "I give you everything I am, all my broken heart beats."
  • 23. "Until I know you'll understand."
  • 24. "And who do you think you are?"
  • 25. "You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul."
  • 26. "And it took so long just to feel alright."
  • 27. "And who said it was cool to be asking me these questions?"
  • 28. "And how do I get back together again?"
  • 29. "You might be surprised to hear it's you and me."
  • 30. "So I decided that I should just give up on trying to right your wrongs."
  • 31. "Why did you feel the need to prove that everybody else was right?"
  • 32. "And I won't be made a fool of."
  • 33. "I'm scared today, more than I told you I was yesterday."
  • 34. "I promise to always come home to you."
  • 35. "And don't give up on what we're trying to do."
  • 36. "Love like this may come once."
  • 37. "Baby, we're fate."
  • 38. "I wish it wasn't always my fault."
  • 39. "I wish I wasn't always alone."
  • 40. "Just let me know that growing up goes slow."