how does it feel down there

                          ///      Yeah, I want to smear
           my lipstick all the way down my neck.
           Call all my best gal pals. Break some
           faux pearl necklaces. Learn how to walk
           in heels. Forget how to have feelings.
           Become the damp light in the
           nightclub bathroom. Light doesn’t
           have feelings, does it?

                           (Yeah, I’ve got boy problems.)    ///

Lydia Havens, from “On listening to Boy Problems by Carly Rae Jepsen while alone on a Saturday night,” published in Thread

imagoodolyankeeboy  asked:

Dear Peaches at Peachfuzz Comics, I have been reading your comics and I love them to death. I have recently come out as Non Binary but fear that people will think I am a cis male jumping on a bandwagon and dont pass enough. My biggest fear is waking up one morning and feeling like a cis male again. How do I stay true to my identity? I dont want my neighborhood to re enstate cis gender roles on me. Do you face these same issues? Thank you for making this series You Rock -JB

What does it mean to “pass” as non-binary? Of what measuring stick does society hold for this identity?

My advice? Do whateva da fuck u wan. Experiment! See what works! What makes you smile! What makes you comfy! It’s time to live for you by cracking down on the little things and making corrections along the way.

May I direct you to PeachFuzz #126?

candygrahm  asked:

Dude, so the holidays are approaching, right. Time for holiday headcanons! :D I feel like Engie would take good care of making sure the dinner plans go smoothly. Perhaps Soldier would make sure that they have at least one of every kind of decoration imaginable because how else are you going to maximize the festive spirit.

HOLIDAY HEADCANONS ARE BEST HEADCANONS !!!

-Spy perfectly wraps everyone’s gifts in super expensive paper

-Pyro gets so happy about the decorations that they’re a happy-crying mess

-Engie does the holiday baking with Pyro and Demo’s help

-Heavy cuts down a tree and decorates it with Medic, since he has a ton of surgical thread and hooks to use for ornaments

-Scout, Soldier, and Pyro have snow ball fights in front of the base

-On Christmas, the two teams have a temporary peace agreement

-Sniper insists they all do caroling songs with each other, even though they’re all God awful at singing

-Spy gets drunk enough on eggnog to agree to wear one of Engie’s hand-knitted Xmas sweaters over his suit

anonymous asked:

Um hello! I was wondering on how you think yamdere Naga dark (getting specific up in here) would react to a how do you say... Obedient, human S/O? Like um ya know doesn't want to fight back. Does what there told, acts nice still etc etc. Sounds wonky I know but tbh I feel like I'd do the same... Hehe.... 😅 (Also hello 'Yandere queen'! How's your evening?)

!! Why hello! And i dont mind at all! Yandere queen shall provide her subjects with that good yandere content! And i have been doing good dear! I hope you have been as well!

It is better that you willingly submit, Dark not having to constantly hold you down and feed nightmares onto you just to keep you submissive. He treats you with a bit more care, still locking you away in his cave and refusing to let you out but he treats you with a little more care, his touches more gentle, his words without any hidden meaning. He dosnt need to use his tricks on you! Of course any time you point out this sweetness he will either deny it or purr a “Well… my pet does need a reward for being so obedient~”

Of course… sadly he may give you small nightmares that are so terrifying that it leaves you waking up with a start, crying as you cling to him. Dark needs to make sure you wont leave after all… you may be trying to fool him… if not, then the extra affection ans begging wouldnt hurt. … wouldnt hurt him.

4 months and 2 days.

You know how they pin dead insects to a surface with needles in exhibitions? Life kinda feels like that now. The needle went straight through my heart and soul, through the core and through everything that keeps me together. I’m not dead, but I can’t live like that either. I can’t move on or get away.

During the day it’s possible to function. To ignore the missing pieces, to cover up the gaping hole with stupid jokes and laughter or food or video games.

That doesn’t work at night. It all comes crashing down again. Those stupid pills don’t work. Nothing does. And how could it? There’s nothing to fill this emptiness, no more light to pierce the darkness, no more way to go.

If I could exchange my life for yours I’d end my life in an instant instead of being kept alive by routine and “that’s not the solution”s and pathetic “you matter”s and whatever people come up with. But it’s useless, it won’t help. It’s about as useless as going to work everyday. Or getting out of bed, in fact. I can’t even begin to understand how you could be so fucking strong all your life. I’d like to follow your example but all I’ve ever been is weak and pathetic and ridiculous. The pierced bug with a needle through its heart who couldn’t even do one damn thing to help you

instagram

So I made this its a bit Au. But not cause we all know Alex is her own toughest critic. No matter how well or awesome she does she always feels she’s letting her mom and space dad down somehow. #alexdanvers #chylerleigh #elizadanvers #j'onn #supergirl #alexdanversedit  cc Kindon18  ac  @svdaudios

Made with Instagram
2

Writing Autistic Characters: 50 posts from scriptautistic

Happy Nanowrimo! In honour of national novel writing month 2017 we have put together this list of 50 of the most useful questions and answers from our blog this year. We hope you find them useful - happy writing!

-the scriptautistic mods


Meta

Representation

Comorbidities

Emotions and empathy

Sensory sensitivities

Stimming

Education

Ableism

Communication

Other

Fun posts

3

So this is love, so this is what makes life divine…

6

“Yu…”

What if during the final battle with IT, the losers all trying to stand together and fight, Richie feels something hold his hand, and he sees Bev intertwining their fingers, doing the same with Ben who does the same with Bill. They’re united, but they aren’t whole.

And then Richie feels someone holding his other hand and he looks down when he hears a soft beep coming from a watch attached to a skinny, tanned wrist.

Eddie smiles up at him, nodding and turns to his side to see Stan and Mike holding onto each other too. Richie feels tears in his eyes. He knows they aren’t really there, not physically, but they’re with them spiritually. They always will be. And that’s how they defeat IT for the last time. Together. Now they’re whole.

13.05 coda

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Send me a message if you’d like to be added to or removed from the taglist!

The sun sets early this time of year. The sky starts to change color as Dean pushes the Impala along towards Meadows’ house of horrors; the violent orange of the sunset gleams across the chrome lining the windshield and gilds everything over. Dean glances away from the road for a second when the glare hits him in the eye. Sam had his head turned towards the window, but he looks over when he feels Dean do so, too.

“So, uh,” he says, clearing his throat. “You ended up at the Clam Dive after all.”

Dean’s mouth quirks for a second, but it doesn’t last. “Mm.”

Sam taps his fingers against the door. “Worth the four and a half stars?”

Easing the Impala around a corner plunges the driver’s side into shadow. Dean ticks his head away from the light. “Don’t let the name fool you. That is one classy joint.”

Sam scoffs. “I’m sure.”

Dean doesn’t reply. The sun dips lower on the horizon.

“So, you’re. You’re working through it, then,” Sam says, unable to stay quiet. “Business as usual. It’s… working.”

Dean clenches his hands on the steering wheel and hopes that Sam doesn’t notice. The first stars of the night have started to come out, visible just beyond the stained-purple clouds.

“Yeah. See? Totally fine.”

He doesn’t tell Sam that most of the time he spent at the Clam Dive was at the bar. He doesn’t tell Sam that he only sat by the stage once he was drunk enough to start seeing double. He doesn’t tell Sam that he didn’t have any fun even though he tried all his old tricks and every cheesy line in the book and even pushed some of his boundaries a little farther than usual. He doesn’t tell Sam that he drove the Impala full-blown wasted and didn’t even care because why would it even matter if he ended up –

He doesn’t tell Sam about the death sentence he keeps in his duffle bag. He doesn’t tell Sam that he tried to crawl into bed once he got back to the motel but the thought of doing so made him so lonely that he’d actually rather sleep on the floor.

Point is: there’s a lot he doesn’t tell Sam.

Keep reading

@arabian-batboy said: Can you write something where Bruce comes across Jason in an alley after his resurrection but before Talia took him in & since he couldn’t talk at that time (& because he’s supposed to be dead) Bruce thinks it’s just a hallucination and just leaves him?


It had been a long time since Bruce was afraid of ghosts, mostly because they never left him alone. If this one seemed more real than usual, hey, it had been a rough day.

Always was, this time of year. 

April 27th. Bruce liked to think he was getting better— maybe some year he wouldn’t find himself lurking in Crime Alley on today, the anniversary of Jason’s death— but he wasn’t there yet.

It made sense. How was he supposed to forget Jason? That was what it would take, Bruce knew, to leave the guilt behind. Every time Jason crossed his mind, it all came crashing back: the grief and shame and pain in his chest. 

Flashbacks, sometimes. Hallucinations.

He wasn’t particularly surprised to see his dead son lying on the cobblestones. It was bound to happen today. 

Bruce took a deep breath. It was time for another hell ride through his own subconsciousness. What would it be this time?

Older, he thought— this Jason looked older, the age he would be if he had lived. That was normal; Bruce spent a lot of time imagining Jason alive and growing up. This Jason looked like he had been on the street for a long time, and Bruce could explain that too; they’d met on this spot when Jason was young and homeless. Of course he was remembering that day. 

Bruce blinked away the image of Jason, small and defiant, sprinting towards the mouth of the alley with his tire iron. Who hit the Batman with a tire iron? Jason did. Jason was…

Well, Jason was dead. Jason had been extraordinary— brave, bright, explosive, kind— but he was gone, and the illusion on the pavement was just that: an illusion. A memory. Bruce’s mind playing tricks.

The punishment he deserved. He could feel it beginning like it always did, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his fingertips, his chest, rooting him to the stone underneath him until he couldn’t run— not that he should run. He hadn’t saved Jason. The least he could do was feel it.

Keep reading

I would die for Cassian Andor, but he wouldn’t let me.

INTRODUCTION TO EXID!!

A master post of links because EXID comes back in two days and I’ve seen LOTS of new stans asking questions about who each member is/where to start, and I want EXID to come back to as many eager LEGGOs as possible. So hopefully this post will help get new fans and excited AND let some OG stans feel nostalgic and reminisce.

So, a quick history lesson EXID (Exceed In Dreaming) debuted in 2012 with LE, Hani, Junghwa, Dami, Yuji and Haeryeong. When Dami, Yuji and Haeryeon left (and Bestie was born), Solji (EXID’s former vocal trainer) and Hyerin were asked to join the team. And, thus, EXID was born. They almost disbanded a couple of times but toughed it out and proved a bunch of people wrong and now they’re coming back with their fourth mini albm, (And you can refer here to a long list of specific reasons to love EXID, but let’s get on with the videos!)

The Basics (where I personally feel ever fan should start): 

Solji (the leader, currently on medical leave):

LE (the rapper, and the woman who writes/composes ever song):

Hani (the “most popular” member who also does lots of MC work):

Hyerin (the unexpected vocal queen and variety star):

Junghwa (the visual maknae with the widely-beloved “hot body”):

Music Videos (Official MVs for singles):

Misc (other shit that LEGGOs love):

Non-singles that you should know:

Showtime (from summer 2015):

Weekly Idol:

Okay, new LEGGOs. Go forth. Prosper. Pre-order Full Moon. Stream it. Tell your friends. Write some LE/Junghwa fan fiction. Get an “Ah Yeah” tattoo. Change your blog title to a lyric from Velvet. Buy a bunch of curlers to keep in your bangs. I love you. Make Solji proud, and please support these amazing five  women and their amazing music.

I wanna know what love is

El learning the meaning of ‘love’ with Mike, requested by @cricket-hater

_____________

It was one of those quiet afternoons, when Hopper was not yet back from the station, and the cabin was bathed in dim November sunlight. Mike was scribbling in his D&D notebook, biting his pencil, deep in thought, and El was sitting next to him, curled in a ball and deeply engrossed in a soap opera that was on.

Mike knew those by heart by now. Not only El watched those a lot, but so did his mom. He would normally roll his eyes when his mom switched the TV to cheesy love confessions and dramas, but when El watched them, it was different. He liked the way her eyes widened in suprise, or when she leaned towards the TV, her curly hair falling on her face.

'But Rebecca, you can not leave with him!’ the man on she screen begged. 'I love you!’

Mike resisted the urge to groan at the theatrical character of the show. He turned the page and wrote annotation about a monster he wanted to bring out in a particular moment.

He felt El tug at his sleeve and raised his eyes.

'Everything okay?’

'What is 'love’?’ she nodded shyly towards the screen. Mike felt his mouth go dry.

'I… Uh… You don’t know what love is?’

She shook her head and looked down. Sure, she heard that word multiple times on the TV. She knew it had usually something to do with hugs and lips pressed together. But dictionary definition didn’t help her much. For some reason though, she was reluctant to ask Hopper about that. And Mike always had answers. Right?

Mike looked at her, frozen on the spot, almost feeling his brain work rapidly. How does he explain 'love’ to her, of all things? But then again, he always knew how to explain things to her before. Right?

'I uh… I mean there’s nothing wrong in not knowing!’ he assured her, seeing her expression. 'I… Um…’

'I checked in the dictionary once. It said something about 'deep care and devotion’, but… ’

'It’s not really something that a dictionary can’t explain properly. It’s…’

He took a deep breath and put away his notebook. You can do it, Wheeler.

He looked at her again, turning towards her, and resisted the urge to put a stray curl behind her ear.

'Love is an emotion. A feeling. Like happiness, or sadness.’

She nodded.

'Okay. And, uh… There are different kinds of love. There’s love you feel for your friends. You want them to be happy, safe, healthy and all. You sometimes argue with them, but you always try to make up, and you care about them a lot.’ he looked at her, as if to make sure if she’s not lost. She nodded, processing that.

'And then, there’s love for your family. It’s really similar to the love between friends. Love between siblings is sometimes hard, like for me and Nancy, we argue a lot more than I do with the guys, but I care about her a lot, even when I’m mad at her. And the love of parents, it’s… Um… Parents are supposed to love you unconditionally, that means they never want anything in return, they just love you no matter who you are and accept you. Always.’ he remembered his father’s complete lack of genuine concern and care, and resisted the urge to sigh. 'Like Hopper loves you. ’

'He does?’ her eyes widened.

'Yeah, I’m pretty sure he does. He might not tell you that a lot, but he cares about you more than anything. Then, um… There’s that kind of love.’ he gestured towards the TV. 'Although the way it’s shown here is not really accurate. I, uh… I guess it’s called 'romantic love’. It’s mostly very similar to other kinds of love. It’s…. If you love someone you just…’

He took a deep breath and looked at her quietly for a second.

'You never want them to be away. You always want to be near them. You… You find it hard to breathe sometimes, when you look at them, because your chest is full of this… Warm feeling, it’s hard to explain. And when they are hurt, or unhappy, it pains you. You want to take away all the bad stuff in their life. And I want to always be there when you need me, or when you have nightmares again… I mean I know you are way more awesome than I am and I’m no hero, and Hoppers way more capable of protecting you anyway, even though obviously you don’t need it, because it’s you who saved us all…’

He didn’t even notice the switch in his speech. The words he kept inside for all those months full of longing and despair were just flowing out.

She, on the other hand, noticed, but didn’t dare to speak, looking into his eyes, unmoving.

'And I wish I could take away everything that haunts you, and it angers me that I can’t-’

'I love you too. ’ she said softly, her eyes never leaving his.

'And I… What?’

'I love you. ’ she repeated, feeling her lips curve into a small, shy smile.

He looked at her with his dark eyes, frozen on the spot.

'You… You do?’

She lifted her hand, her fingertips brushing his cheekbone.

'Yes. ’ she said simply, and inched closer to him, touching his nose with hers.

'That’s… That’s good. B-because, I love you too. ’ he blurted out, grinning, his face crimson.

'Good. ’ she repeated with a hint of laughter in her voice and she kissed him softly. His larger palms covered her hands that were holding his face.

'El? ’ he said quietly, his lips still close to hers.

'Yes?’

'Remember, when I told you about the dance? Snowball? You… ’ he gulped 'You weren’t there for the one that was last year, but.. there’s another one coming up next month, and I thought… Maybe if we talked to Hopper, we could go… If you want.’ he rested his forehead on hers.

'Is it who you are supposed to go with?’ she asked, remembering what he said that fateful night in school cafeteria, resting her hands on his chest, while he held her wrists gently. 'Someone you love?’

He smiled gently and nodded, rubbing their noses together.

'Yeah.’

'Cool. ’ she whispered.

'Cool. ’ he pressed his lips against her forehead.

@shattered-quill @themikewheelers @maxmayfield @bob-newby-superhero @lucassinclairstan @alabasterswriting @ale-le-me

5

HEY today is Sig’s birthday! Nov19!

I wanted to do something BFA-related, and since apparently Sig is canonically at the Battle of Lordaeron lmao, well, here he be… despite Leon’s VERY valid and sadly ignored concerns over the former Highlord’s health and well-being after Argus.  

Though Sig has healed well, it’s yet to be seen how his condition will affect him going forward.  Leon has a bad feeling about this.

CHAPTER SIX: YOU LIKE HIM.

PLOT SUMMARY: a multichapter imagine fic where the reader is dustin’s older siblings. follows along directly with the events of season 2. she’s friends with nancy, and drama ensues. over the course of the fic we see how the reader reacts to new challenges and a new romantic interest.  ( inspired by two other imagines that i literally can’t find for the life of me. )

CHAPTER SUMMARY: feelings develop and the reader comes to find out that steve truly does care about her.

PAIRING: SLOWBURN Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

WARNING: Swearing and Spoilers

CHAPTERS: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE

WORD COUNT: 2.2K+

After sitting in the cellar for almost two and a half hours and Steve taking it upon himself to comfort you once again. Dustin had finally gotten through the story about the Demogorgon, and the upside down. It was a lot for you to take in. And if both Steve and Dustin didn’t confirm it you would have sworn it was just a bad prank. Also the giant hole in your cellar caused you not to question it very much. A hole, by the way, that looked like it went on for miles.  

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can you write a drarry fic about draco trying to get away so he goes to hide in a closet but little does he know that this is also a hiding place for a certain dark haired,green eyed,lightning scared boy

Harry runs down the hallway, making far more noise than he should be for hide and seek.  But he is  drunk.  Well they are all a bit drunk really.  So he hopes the noises he makes as he stumbles into the wall will be lost in the choas of giggles and heavy footsteps he can hear as the other 8th years take off running around in opposite directions throughout the darkened corridors.

All he knows is he can’t get caught.  He is good at hiding.  He can definitely do this.  If only it didn’t seem to take so much concentration to put one foot in front of the other.

“Buggering fuckity fuck,” he curses, tripping and stumbling into a suit of armor.  Except this suit of armor is solid and warm, and smells really fucking good.

“Unhand me this instant! Oh, Potter, should’ve known it was you.  My god you’re loud.”

Oh, so not a suit of armor then.

“What’re you doing here?”  Harry is rather proud of himself for getting out a full sentence.  Even in the dark he can see the other boy rolling his eyes at him.

“I’m playing this ridiculous muggle game like the rest of you.  Though Merlin only knows why because its incredibly juvenile and unbecoming of-” but Harry cuts him off, shoving his hand over Malfoy’s mouth when he hears someone coming.  He tries really hard not to notice how soft and warm Malfoy’s mouth feels beneath his fingers, and curses the fact that he’s wearing a thin pair of joggers and not a robe like the other boy because if he does any more noticing about Malfoy’s mouth and skin its gonna become pretty damn obvious.

Malfoy looks rather annoyed at being interupted, but he’s also clearly heard someone coming too because he doesn’t hex Harry.  Instead he grabs him by the front of his jumper and drags him into the closest broom closet a few feet away, shoving him inside roughly.

Harry swallows down a lump in this throat, not at all pleased to be in a fucking cupboard with his entire body pressed up against Draco Malfoy who has his finger held up to Harry’s mouth as if to silence him.  As if Harry is too stupid to know not to make a noise.

Or perhaps the problem is exactly that he’s far too pleased to be in this situation.  All he knows is he’s too drunk for this, too drunk not to reveal far too much.

“We can’t…can’t both be, um…be inside.  You can be inside, um me.  Or no I mean I want to be inside.  Wait no…fuck.”

Malfoy arches one elegant eyebrow at Harry, making him try to tug his jumper down farther as if that would hide his obvious reaction to being so close to the other boy.

“Your powers of articulation never cease to amaze me.”

Harry feels like his head is spinning and he doesn’t think it has anything to do with the copious amounts of firewhiskey hes had tonight.  “Why the bloody fuck aren’t you drunk?”

“Because unlike some people I have an impeccably high level or decorum and self preservation and had no desire to spend our last night at Hogwarts making a complete and utter arse out of myself.”

Harry just huffs out a breath, wishing now he hadn’t had so much to drink because try as he might he can’t think of anything remotely smart or funny to say back to that.  To his horror all that comes out of his mouth is a tiny sort of huffing sound as Malfoy presses him back into the wall.  Malfoy is talking, asking him something as his hand comes up over Harry’s shoulder and presses into the wall.  His voice is in Harry’s ear, whispering something but all Harry can focus on is that fact that even though Draco is barely an inch talling than him he feels him practically looming over him, as if Draco’s body is consuming it.  Harry blinks at him suddenly when he realizes he’s stopped talking, trying desperately to look in Malfoy’s eyes and not at his lips.  “What?”

“Suppose that answers my question about how drunk you are.”

“M’not that drunk,” Harry lies, clenching his hands at his sides to stop himself from touching the other boy.

Malfoy laughs.  Harry wants to blame the alcohol for thinking its the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

“I’m quite certain whoever was looking for us is gone you know.  We can leave now.”

It doesn’t escape Harry’s notice that despite his words Malfoy doesn’t look like he’s about to move.  It gives Harry all the courage he needs before his hands are fisted tight in the front of Malfoy’s robe, pulling him closer and slamming their lips together.  He swallows down the noise of surprise Malfoy makes, making up for what he lacks in finesse with enthusiasm,

In the back of his mind Harry swears he hears someone yanking the closet door open, swears he hears someone shouting they’ve been found and can move, but he ignores them in favor of sucking Malfoy’s bottom lip into his mouth and grinding up against him.  He doesn’t care about the game, about whoever is there watching them, all he cares about is making sure that Malfoy never ever stops touching him.

13x04: What’s the Deal with Catharsis?

This isn’t funny anymore. I am not okay. I’m in a state of needing to do laps around my room (and the room is roomy enough to be comfy) (but roomy enough for doing laps in it ain’t). All this excess energy is making me sweat even when I sit still!! (I exaggerate) But Jesus Mary and Joseph the writers and cast and crew and the whole shebang and shindig is giving us… SO MUCH. *everything* 

So, here’s the recipe for Deconstructing Dean: 

You take Dean Winchester, you make him slam all his walls back in place and you drain him of the want to feel anything, because the pain is too much to handle, so if he feels it, he knows it’ll fucking break him, right? 

Now for the most crucial part: you make him act the part of his father and you make him latch onto that persona, one that he’s cultivated within himself in order to be the good son, the responsible big brother, the dutiful soldier, the hero. Only this time you make this persona into what it really is without the warmth and hope and love that is at the heart of Dean Winchester: you make it a shell. You make it obvious that this persona is based in the lie Dean has always told himself of who he needs to be in order to cope, in order to be strong, to carry all this weight placed on his shoulders from too young an age. 

And Dean himself doesn’t even believe in this lie anymore: 

  • Refusing to listen to Miriam’s tirades and his comment of “I’m just a guy doing a job” in 13x01 began to deliver a sense of maturity, of Dean truly on the cusp of growing the fuck up
  • In 13x02 this was pushed further with Jack’s line: Pain is part of the complete human experience. Accepting it is a sign of maturity.
  • In 13x03, Dean’s actual aversion to his toxic masculinity and his need to address it and reject it was highlighted through every plot line in that episode being rooted in Dean’s self-examination and what he needs to understand: no one can tell you who you are - you choose who to be. (choice and identity) (like wow)
  • By 13x04 it’s clear to this meta writer exactly how much Dean knows his performance is a shell, but there’s no way he can let go of it. It’s his safety net now, keeping all the feelings at bay. Feelings are weaknesses, his performance says, and shuts them all out
  • Save one, of course, and that’s the anger

How is it highlighted to us that he knows the performance is a shell? 

–> By him asking Sammy to keep the faith for the both of them. 

Dean’s aware of what he’s doing, he’s so aware of shutting everyone out, and he knows, deep down, that it isn’t him, that he wants to believe they can save Mary because he can see that there’s a chance, but right now… all faith has drained from him because the root of his hope for the future has been taken away. (yes of course that’s Cas)

How else can we ascertain that Dean, deep down, wants to mature?

Well, how about –>

Sam: He was really into the whole catharsis thing.
Dean: Yeah, sure, who wouldn’t be, if it’s like another word for happy ending?

Now, they really, really could’ve written this line in a way that didn’t imply that Dean is actually saying what? He is saying that he can understand why Wes was into the whole catharsis thing when catharsis was another word for happy ending. Meaning Dean can understand why someone would want to work on themselves on the basis of getting their happy ending. MEANING DEAN WINCHESTER WANTS A HAPPY ENDING. He still wants that long and happy life, he just doesn’t see it anymore for REASONS.

FFS. (FOR FUCK’S SAKE)

And for someone who abjectly dismisses the idea of therapy as bullcrap and thinks the whole thing is like snake oil for the mind…

Okay, so, I know Dean is anti-everything here. I get it. He is demonstrating how little faith he has in this brain-scrambling, emotion-combing time waster of an endeavour, right? But I just want to look a tiny bit closer at this specific moment in this scene.

Because look at Dean’s body language –> it’s completely open. 

Jensen is formidable in using body language and those famed micro-expressions to tell us tons about Dean. That’s because he’s a formidable actor and using body language and micro-expressions is part of his job. Human communication is more than 50% based in body language, so to say that this tool for subtext doesn’t matter to the story, that the visual narrative is a layer that can be dismissed as unimportant, is mildly insane. Just in case anyone ever says that. (I bid you stop it) (not to be bossy) (just please seriously)

Also, look at Jared sat at the edge of that sofa, Dean taking up space, spreading himself out like an alpha male. Sam looks more defensive than Dean here, and considering where this scene is headed, there’s no wonder. What’s so subtle about this, though, is that by the end of the episode we’ll get a small catharsis from Dean, where he puts words to how he’s feeling, answering the question from Sam that opens the entire episode, so Dean’s open body language towards Sam here can also be seen as foreshadowing of that, that he’s open wide to the fact that Sam is actually right. *slow eyebrow raise*

And then there’s how Dean asks his question:

Mom was great, now she’s dead–>

–> Dismissive to a fault, because Dean’s grief truly is not tied to Mary, because deep down Dean can see the worth in Sam’s belief that they can get her back, underneath all that pain there is still a glimmer of hope.

What’s the deal with catharsis?–>

–> Yeah, exactly - Dean throws this out there and does so immediately. Again, it of course has to do with his attitude towards therapy in general, it’s to do with the anger masking his pain, but it’s also a defence mechanism, because he isn’t ready to be open, no matter how much he subconsciously wants to be, or feels he needs to be. Asking this question here just underlines this already hinted at need, because deep down Dean wants to believe there’s something that can somehow lead him to a happy ending, he wants to know what the deal with catharsis is for himself, because he wants to have faith in the future again. He just can’t right now, because his future burned on a pyre not very long ago. 

I mean the GROWING PAINS of it all! Dean Winchester is maturing into an adult before our very eyes and it makes me so fucking happy for him!! And what does that small moment at the end of the episode, the moment of very very tentative catharsis (hopefully leading to a properly significant moment in 13x05) still give him? That one tiny line of dialogue where he admits to Sam how Sam’s been right in calling him out on his behaviour and how he doesn’t want to be like this forever, it’s just for now, because right now he doesn’t believe in a damn thing.

It gets him this –>

*fffflllaaaiiilll*