Imagine a convo like this during the Orion Pax arc...
You... used Dark Energon? How?
I... inserted it directly into my own spark, then I--
Hold on. Wait.
Orion (to Soundwave):
Did he really...?
Oh Primus, Creator of all, what THE FRAG were you thinking?!?
*scoff* You don't think I could have handled the power?
YOU COULD HAVE DIED! I don't give a scrap heap about whether you could control it or not. Megatron, you placed the very essence of death and destruction into your spark chamber!
And what would have happened then? If you had ceased to function?
You constantly belittle Starscream's command-- publicly. It's clear to everyone who follows you-- and possibly our enemy-- that you don't want Starscream to lead! You waste his time and talents with the promise of leadership opportunities...
*growls* I promise NOTHING.
...Even when he performs his duties amicably and efficiently, you give him no reward. What message does that send to your troops?
His reward is his life! The fact that I allow that traitorous mech to even function on my ship... he should be grateful.
...So you don't actually trust him, or LIKE HIM enough to be a true heir to the Decepticons.
No. I do not trust him.
Alright, then what about Soundwave?
*stops his work and quietly excuses himself. Nope, not doing this today.*
-- DOORS CLOSE --
What about Soundwave? You know him too, he has been here since the beginning.
He may have been here the longest but he is not meant for as large a role as leader... and he knows it too.
Soundwave is my most loyal. I trust him completely. The only reason I don't have him as my second is so that we can BOTH keep an optic on Starscream. Get to your POINT, Orion!
MY POINT IS THAT YOU DON'T THINK!
You disappeared for 3 years, leaving Starscream to care for and coordinate your armies.
He does a fine job continuing your expansion whether you like it or not, and even takes out a member of the primary Autobot squadron.
Energon production is not up significantly, but it's not down either-- likely the best anyone could have done in times like these.
But then you return, beating and tossing him this way and that, barely even acknowledging his work!
Your troops see this, and any respect Starscream has garnered during his time commanding has gone out the window.
And you MUST know this, somewhere in your processor. And I know you are also aware that Soundwave could not have filled your pedes in your absence, otherwise you would have specified as such.
But then what do you do? YOU STAB YOUR SPARK WITH A DARK ENERGY EVEN THOUGH YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND IT'S EFFECTS!
If you had died, Starscream could not resume his command after you laid waste to everyone's opinion of him. Soundwave could not have taken over because he simply could not handle it.
There would be a power vacuum. Any and all strong Decepticons within a few stellar cycles journey from here would compete for dominance, dividing your forces. The message would be lost... your armies, scattered.
The Autobots... would WIN.
*gets up to loom over Orion/Optimus*
You seem to have a lot to say for someone who has essentially been in stasis for millions of vorns.
*huff* All I'm saying is that you aren't using your intellect and prospective reasoning! You keep acting on your first instinct instead of thinking things through. What happened to the strategist? The gladiator with a plan?
... talk to me. What is it about the Autobots that make you lose your focus?
*knocks hand away* We will discuss this later, Orion.
... do you even know what it's doing to your spark now? I doubt you can fully purge Dark Energon, as energy can neither be created nor destroyed.
*reaches out* Please... as your friend, I am asking you to seek medical attention... if only so we can better understand what must happen now.
Today at the Library I found a Transformers Picture book on display. Apparently, the Decepticons and the Autobots are just one big dysfunctional family to hear this book tell it.
I’m not even kidding. This picture book literally starts with Skids and Mudflap trying to figure out how to tell Optimus that they weren’t watching the baby Sam as close as they should have and Optimus goes into full Hover-Dad mode. The following is a paraphrased transcript of this hilarious, probably-not-canon book.
Optimus: “Skids, Mudflap, weren’t you two supposed to be babysitting Sam (since I sent Bumblebee and Mikaela on a mission, because clearly they’re more responsible than him)? What are you two freaking out over? …..where’s the baby?”
Skids and Mudflap: “Okay, um. Don’t freak out.”
Optimus: “Already freaking out.”
Skids and Mudflap: “It’s not as bad as you think! Sam is working at a grocery store - college kid job, or whatever - but we think his coworker is a Decepticon spy.”
Optimus: “Well is there a giant robot in the grocery store?”
Skids and Mudflap: “Uh…no?”
Optimus: “Then it’s probably not a Deceptcion. Now go back to watching Sam!”
Skids and Mudflap: “But Boss! We thought that Alice creep was a human too! Remember how that turned out?”
Optimus: “…..don’t let Sam out of your sight.”
MEANWHILE, IN A SECRET LAIR JUST FOR DECEPTICONS…..
Megatron: (cackling maniacally) “Let’s see! How can I ruin Optimus’s day today? Killing him usually works. Aw, but he’s busy all the time! How can I draw him out?”
(thinks for probably longer than he should)
Megatron: “Ah-HA! The Boy! Optimus will do anything to make sure he’s safe. Hmmm….except he normally doesn’t let him out of his sight… Hey you! Random Decepticon Who Was Never In The Movies!”
Random: “You rang, Lord Megatron?”
Megatron: “Yes. Go scan a human and go to that grocery store where the Witwicky kid works.”\
Random: “Wait, why?”
Megatron: “I just really need someone to keep the nephew occupied for like, five minutes so I can actually have a decent fight with my brother. Is that so much to ask?”
Random: “I mean, when you put it that way…” (goes into Pretender mode and spies on Sam Witwicky to keep him out of Megatron’s non-existent hair)
Megatron: “Ah, now I will send a fake text message from Sam - and never you mind how I can fake his cell-phone number. I certainly haven’t been using this to prank-call his human parents. And I definitely wasn’t using it to order pizza and leave him to pay the bill. Nope, not me. - and Optimus will think the boy is at school in trouble of some sort. Of course, that’s not entirely a lie: I’ve seen his report card, it’s pretty bad.”
ROTATING AUTOBOT/DECEPTICON INSIGNIA AS WE CUT TO OPTIMUS PRIME
Optimus: (bursts into gymnasium like the Kool-Aid Man, and sees Megatron) “You’re not Sam!”
Megatron: “Very perceptive, Optimus!” (there’s about a 60% chance that he’s not being sarcastic.)
(fight ensues, much punching, such destroy, very collateral damage)
Sam: (runs in, having ditched all three robot babysitters) “Hey Optimus, that text you got wasn’t from me!”
Optimus: “Yes, Sam. I think we’ve all figured that out at this point.”
Sam: “Uncle Megatron, stop being such a turdburglar! Leave Hover-Dad alone!”
Megatron: “Every time. Every stinking time. What’s an evil overlord got to do to pick a fight around here?!” (shakes fist and swears vengeance, then leaves)
And that is basically how the Transformers picture books go. Admittedly, it’s more amusing to me than the majority of the Bayverse movies’ scripts.
OKAY SO I HEAR A LOT OF PEOPLE GET CONFUSED ABOUT ALL THESE WORDS AND TERMS FOR TRANSFORMERS (because we, as a fandom, like to use fancy words for our robots, we have literally reached subculture status guys we have our own dialect congratulations) AND DON’T KNOW WHAT TO USE FOR WHAT SO BECAUSE I TOO SUFFER I WILL HELP YOU
IF YOU KNOW OTHERS THAT ARE NOT LISTED HERE FEEL FREE TO ADD THEM.
A/N: Okay, so I wrote this loosely based on this post that @imagine-assembling-the-avengers reblogged a little over a month ago because I couldn’t help myself. I think it may have gotten a little out of hand, but I’m p happy with the way it’s turned out! I just hope you guys feel the same way lmao
Word Count: 5185
Warnings: Slight angst?
“Yes?” The woman lying on the hospital bed manages to rasp out. Her breathing is labored and she’s fighting to keep her eyes open. “Who…” She trails off, trying to catch her breath. “Who are you?”
“You don’t know me, but I know how to help you.”
She lets out a hoarse laugh. “How could you help me? I’m dying, dear. There’s nothing to be done.”
“There’s always something to be done.” I shake my head and step towards her. “I have… well, I have powers. I can restore you to the way you were in the forties; young, spry and healthy.”
“How is it that you have these powers?” She asks, wary of the newly presented information.
“I’m an Inhuman, Ms. Carter. When Terrigen mists were released in my city, I was lucky enough to have the necessary alien genes to form a chrysalis and develop powers. Now,” I place my hands on my hips. “Do you want my help or not?”
“Why do you want to help me?”
“Because your idiot godson and too-pretty-for-his-own-good ex are about to do something so stupid that it’ll destroy the balance between supers and civilians as we know it.”
Her eyes widen. “And how do you happen to know this?”
“Not illegally, I can promise you that. I just happen to have Inhuman informants on the inside.”
“Alright… but how do you expect to explain my sudden, miraculous transformation to the hospital staff?”
“Oh, the hospital won’t know. They’ll think you’ve died.”
“And how do you expect to pull that off?”
“Tetrodotoxin B, Ms. Carter. It slows the heart rate to one beat per minute. Dr. Banner is quite brilliant, regardless of whether or not his inventions work the way he intended them.”
“So, I’ll be dead, will I?”
“And when I wake, I’ll be young again. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
She’s silent for a moment, staring at something directly in front of her. She purses her lips and turns back to me “Do it.”
“Cool,” I smirk and produce a syringe of the tetrodotoxin b and take a step closer to the woman on the bed. “I suggest you get comfortable. You’re gonna be out for a while.”
‘Start where you are. This is very important. Tonglen practice (and all meditation practice) is not about later, when you get it all together and you’re this person you really respect. You may be the most violent person in the world - that’s a fine place to start. That’s a very rich place to start - juicy, smelly. You might be the most depressed person in the world, the most addicted person in the world, the most jealous person in the world. You might think that there are no others on the planet who hate themselves as much as you do. All that is a good place to start.
What you do for yourself, any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself, will affect how you experience the world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you’re doing for others, and what you do for others, you’re doing for yourself. When you exchange yourself for others in the practice of tonglen, it becomes increasingly uncertain what is out there and what is in here.’