how do you like my new dog

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

101 Writing Prompts

1. “I didn’t know you two were related.” “We didn’t either.”

2. “I’m not saying I’m gay, but I would be if they were asking.”

3. “I’ve tried my hardest to fall for you, but it’ll always be them.”

4. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.”

5. “I didn’t even want to come to this party. You lied to me about the pinata.”

6. “Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in.”

7. “I have to go in there with you? I didn’t sign up to play 7 minutes in hell .”

8. “That’s not how you pronounce my name and I’m not even sure you tried.”

9. “Are you new here?” “We’ve been in the same math class for six years.”

10. “You really shouldn’t touch that… I told you.”

11. “I recognise you. Do you have a dog.”

12. “ You’ve never seen Harry Potter?

13. “Can’t we just lay here for a minute?”

14. “We have to stop running into each other like this.”

15. “Is it weird if I say that your dad’s really hot?”

16. “I know it’s 2am but can we meet up?”

17. “I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together but I know I’m mad about it.”

18. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell anybody!”

19. “I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories.”

20. “They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am.”

21. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now it’s here I don’t know how to feel.”

22. “You can’t just say that and then disappear!”

23. “I always hear my neighbour playing this beautiful music, but I’ve never actually met them.”

24. “Would it be alright if I pet your dog?”

25. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late but an owl got in my house and I have no idea how to get it out.”

26. “We can’t call the police! They’ll never believe us!”

27. “Why are you buying plane tickets? Are you leaving?”

28. “I swear I’ve seen them before in a dream.”

29. “I don’t want to be your partner either but we have to get this assignment done.”

30. “I never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”

31. “It’s your fault, and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

32. “This isn’t easy for me either.”

33. “I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

34. “Can you at least promise me that?” “I don’t think I can, not this time.”

35. “I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.”

36. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard to you want me to hit you?”

37. “I’d be scared if I were you.”

38. “You can’t go in there alone .”

39. “This seems like a lot of effort to go to for a mediocre joke.”

40. “Delete that picture right now or Mr.Snuggles gets it!”

41. “You didn’t go through my photos did you?!”

42. “Uhhh, I went through your photos and I have some questions.”

43. “I swear to god, if you tag me in one more bad meme I’ll make you regret it.”

44. “I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

45. “You have individual ringtones for everyone? What’s mine?”

46. “ Why wouldn’t you lock the door?

47. “Did you know kissing burns calories?” “I’m happy with my weight, thanks.”

48. “Your bad pickup lines aren’t cute, they’re just bad.”

49. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again.”

50. “I don’t think you’re ever too old for trick-or-treating.”

51. “We’re dressing up for Halloween this year and that’s final.”

52. “I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.” “I didn’t.”

53. “Fuck you.” “Not with that attitude.”

54. “90% of people admit to having at least a slight bondage kink, and 10% are lying about it.”

55. “I don’t understand why you won’t just use a map on your phone.”

56. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window.”

57. “The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did.”

58. “You know, I was joking in that birthday card when I said I’d help you hide a body.”

59. “Can we please turn off this song.” “But it’s a masterpiece .”

60. “I’ve known you for two years and I think I’ve been saying your name wrong the whole time.”

61. “Wow, you really are blind!” “Thanks for the update, can I have my glasses back now?”

62. “It might be petty but you borrowed my pencil three weeks ago and I’m gonna need it back.”

63. “I think they have a crush on you, which sucks because I’m kinda into them.”

64. “Just go and talk to them, they dont bite!” “What if biting turns me on? If they dont do it then what’s the point?”

65. “You can’t say that in front of children!”

67. “Seven years old is practically an adult.”

68. “Dude I ordered this on eBay and you have to see what they sent me.”

69. “I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.”

70. “I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

71. “My friend thinks you’re cute, personally I don’t get it but this isn’t about me right now.”

72. “Not everything is about you!” “Untrue.”

73. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

74. “This is why I hate family dinners! It always gets awkward.”

75. “This can only end two ways and neither of them are pretty.”

76. “Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows! Things get hard sometimes, that’s just how it is!”

77. “My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers, and you’re definitely strange.”

78. “I can’t believe you fell asleep when I was showing you my favourite movie of all time.”

79. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

80. “I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didnt have to leave.”

81. “Everything’s changing and I hate it! I liked the way things were.”

82. “You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d probably tear it off.”

83. “Do you think they noticed that we left?”

84. “The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try.”

85. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I’m only asking because it hurt when I did and I thought I might have done it wrong.”

86. “That was super cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant.”

87. “You didn’t tell me you were gay!” “You didn’t tell me you weren’t.”

88. “Your friend told me you had a crush on me, I just wanted to let you know your friend is a snake.”

89. “Are you staring at me or are you staring past me?”

90. “If you we’re a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl.”

91. “Sounds stupid. When are we doing it?”

92. “Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just incase they get suspicious?”

93. “This is the part in the movie where we kiss or one of us dies. My fingers are crossed for option one.” “Speak for yourself.”

94. “I’m offended that you don’t have more faith in me but, honestly, it’s understandable given past experience.”

95. “Its just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die.”

96. “I would light myself on fire to keep you warm and you wouldn’t even hand me a coat if I were freezing.”

97. “I trusted you, and so I guess I should have seen this coming.”

98. “I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”

99. “Okay, but this is the last time I bail you out!”

100. “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

101. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

First Interaction Starters
  • "Can I buy you a drink?"
  • "I've heard a lot about you"
  • "Welcome to _____ "
  • "Can I take your order?"
  • " _____, you're under arrest"
  • "Looks like we're room-mates"
  • "IT Support, how can I help you?"
  • "Do you know the bride or the groom?"
  • "Hi, I just moved in next-door"
  • "Excuse me, is this your dog?"
  • "Help, please! Somebody help me!"
  • "I guess I'm your new partner"
  • "Oh my god! Are you okay?"
13 Reasons Why Preference #1: Pets

a/n: let me know what you guys think; if you want me to continue doing preferences/who i should add!! i know this is shorter than my other writings but I wanted to get a feel for this first :)

Alex; Cat:

Originally posted by bullet-for-my-valentine09

“A cat? Alex, I never thought you’d be a cat person.”

“See, what I love about them is that they know when to be affectionate, and when to back off and take time for themselves. Also he looks like a mini tiger and I love that about her.”

“That awkward moment when your cat and you have the same personality.”

“Shut up, Y/N.”

Clay; Beta Fish:

Originally posted by 13reasonsvvhy

“Clay, you actually have the dorkiest pet in the whole world. It doesn’t do anything but swim in circles and eat.”

“Y/N, I’d like to remind you that I lost the baby doll we had to take care of for the Home Ec project within an hour, and you want me to be responsible for the life of something other than a fish?”

Justin; Snake:

Originally posted by rafaelasgomes

“juSTIN FOLEY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”

“What? I told you you were meeting my pet today, Y/N.”

“Justin, I thought I was meeting a dog because most normal people don’t name their pet snake Rover.”

“Whoops.”

Tony; Sugar Glider:

Originally posted by female-winston

“Tony….what…how…you know what? I don’t even want to know.”

Jeff; German Shepard-Husky:

Originally posted by wkom

“Jeffery Atkins oh my freaking god what is this?”

“He’s a Husky German Shepard mix.”

“Oh my god he’s adorable and I 10/10 am coming to your house without you like babe, I love you and all that but your dog is my new favorite Atkins.”

“Wow, Y/N, that hurts.”

“Love youuuuu. But you don’t have the sky trapped in your eyeballs so I think the dog wins this one.”

Monty; Guinea Pig:

Originally posted by montedelacruz

“Monty, babe….you know I think you’re the hottest, sexiest, most attractive personal alive, right?”

“Of course…but why do I feel like I’m not going to like what you say next?”

“…you know how they say that people look just like their pets?”

“Y/N, I’m going to stop you right there.”

Zach; Dachsund:

Originally posted by oliviagrey3

“Y/N, I’d like you to meet Bark Ruffalo.”

“Oh my god, Zach.”

“Do you know what happens in the summer?”

“If you say a stupid pun, Dempsey, we’re breaking up. So think, is it worth it?”

“….he becomes a really, really hot dog.”

New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ –or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

“And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”

Prompts!
  1. “You’re really soft.”
  2. "You smell nice.”
  3. “You’re cute when you’re worried”
  4. “I think i’m in love with you, and that terrifies me.”
  5. “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”
  6. "I’m here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses.”
  7. "Is it possible to love too much?”
  8. “You’re the perfect height for me to rest my chin on your head.”
  9. "I don’t wanna get up– you’re comfy.”
  10. “I’m so in love with her/him, I don’t know what do do.”
  11. "I will always be there protect you.”
  12. "I’m cold. Come closer.”
  13. “You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”
  14. "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
  15. "I’ve never seen such gorgeous eyes before.”
  16. "I can’t stop thinking about you.”
  17. “You’re really hot, shame about the personality”
  18. "All I want is you.”
  19. “This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”
  20. “You came to my room at 4am, to cuddle?”
  21. "I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
  22. "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face.”
  23. "I don’t think anyone could ever be as lovely as you.”
  24. “You look really cute in that sweater.”
  25. "You look incredible in that.”
  26. “Is that my shirt?”
  27. “You’re so clingy, i love it.”
  28. “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”
  29. “Do you ever shut the fuck up?”
  30. "He/She’s quite stunning, isn’t he/she?”
  31. “Are you sugar personified or something?”
  32. “I look forward to holding you close in bed soon.”
  33. "Sometimes I just can’t control myself when around you.”
  34. "Do you believe in love at first sight?”
  35. "I think I’m in love.”
  36. "I’d like it if you stayed.”
  37. “You made these cupcakes for me?”
  38. “Have you lost your mind?”
  39. “You’re so fucking adorable.”
  40. “You’re my best friend’s sister, we can’t do this..”
  41. "People are jerks, but not you.”
  42. “All these new feelings are scaring me.”
  43. "I’ll share the blankets with you.”
  44. “I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.”
  45. "I have never felt this way about anyone.”
  46. “How do you always manage to look so captivating?”
  47. "I want this to never end…”
  48. “I’m a big girl, i can handle it myself.”
  49. “I can’t believe I got the first date, let alone a year.”
  50. “Can I kiss you?”
  51. “Don’t give me that puppy dog face.  How am I supposed to say no to that?”
  52. “So, are you guys dating or?”
  53. “There’s no way in hell i could fall in love with someone like you”
  54. "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks.”
  55. “Could you hold my hand?”
  56. “Have you seen my jacket?”
  57. “Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death.”
  58. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”
  59. “You can put your cold feet on me.”
  60. “You make me so happy.”
  61. “I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”
  62. “Your stray red item turned my whites pink.”
  63. “A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder so I’ll protect you.”
  64. “Did they hurt you?”
  65. “You’re hiding under the blanket because you’re blushing?
  66. “Your lips are really warm.”
  67. “I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on.”
  68. “That pet name was so gushy, but it was also so cute.”
  69. “I really love holding you, darling.”
  70. “You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar.”
  71. “My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on”
  72. “You look so comfy, and cuddle-able.”
  73. “We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches.”
  74. “IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH.”
  75. “I want you to fight for me!”
  76. “Please don’t go.”
  77. “You can call me whenever you want… Even if you don’t have a reason to.”
  78. “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”
  79. “Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”

I decided to make a prompt list cause I’ve always been anxious about getting a prompt I don’t know what to do with so I chose to grab them from other lists that I was comfortable with (originals: x  x  x )

~ Clara

anonymous asked:

"Hello 911 what's your emergency" Viktor after the banquet: "hello yes I had sex with a man way more attractive than me? If I hunt him down and tell him I'm his new coach do you think he'll let me have his kids?" Operator: "sir this isn't an emergency" Viktor: "yes it is! Do you know how to fly dogs without a passport? Or will I need a passport for him too?" Operator: "sir I'm hanging up now" Viktor: "fine be like that I'll just call again"

“911 whats your emergency”
“I JUST GOT ENGAGED WITH THE MAN I HAD SEX WITH LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO”
“is this the same person who-“
“YES!!!! OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT I AM SO BLESSED- did u hang up on me”

  • me: *minding my own business as i walk my dog with my mom*
  • unnamed white lady: *crosses the street towards us, clearly checking out milo's junk and the pink collar he’s wearing as she approaches*
  • unnamed white lady: *shoves hands in milo's face without asking permission* "what is this handsome BOY dog doing wearing pink?"
  • me, a person with very little chill: *gasp in surprise, laying hand over heart dramatically* "is he really a boy? oh gosh, i'm so sorry, i totally thought he was a girl! i'm kind of new at this whole owning a dog thing! how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?"
  • mom: *dies laughing*

anonymous asked:

(1/2) so i have a bit of a dilemma rn and id like some advice. theres a group of ~4 new witches who do NOT like me. 2 are old friends, one is an abusive ex, and the other is a pushover. anyway, theyre all getting together tonight and im about 80% sure that theyre going to try to curse me. what scares me is that they dont really understand how to control things, and with that amount of people im afraid theyre going to hurt someone else and not me (like my mother or my dog). i was wondering what


(2/2) you would suggest i do? i have no qualms about cursing, and im ready to pile on as many protection spells and sigils that i can. i just thought i would ask for advice or any resources you would recommend, and how to protect my family and friends if the group’s curse backfires


Hello Darling! You seem to be in an amazingly unfortunate position… But do not worry, I’m here to help! First of all, fuck those assholes. Second of all, here’s everything you can do to show these fuckers not to fuck with you.

Begin by cleansing yourself:

A cleansing bath by @magic-for-the-masses

An incantation for adding a cleansing boost to anything (Do this while pouring the bath ;) by @wicked-fae

A tea to sip whilst in the bath by @honeycoyote

A good guide to cleansing yourself by @thiscrookedcrown

You can also cleanse your home, but I don’t think it’ll be very necessary as long as the curse isn’t cast.

Bind your oppresors:

A spell to suppress, bind, stop, and crush by yours truly (moi)

A kraken’s tentacles binding spell by @salt-like-wine

After binding them, I’d cleanse your space with sage or palo santo, something really simple, just to get the icky energy moving.

Protect yourself and your home:

Fiery wall of protection powder by @opencircle333

Black salt by @rhiannonchristine

Juniper berry protection candle by @the-darkest-of-lights

Apple protection spell by @whitekitchenwitch

Briar rose protection enchantment by @lavenderspells

A personal protection chant by @meskri

An awesome crab alarm spell by @salt-like-wine

I’d first start by making the fiery wall of protection powder and the black salt and mixing them together. Sprinkle this mix around your house to create a perimeter of protection. The crab alarm spell should be cast then. After that I’d start the briar rose enchantment and while that’s brewing I’d cast the apple spell. Then, I’d light the juniper candle for as long as you think you’re in danger. If you feel like your wards are weakening I’d start chanting the personal protection chant.

After all that shit, empower yourself:

An empowerment bottle spell by @earthiebee

This should give you the little boost of power you need to not be completely dead inside at this point. Also, coffee.

If after all that the curse still goes through (which it honestly shouldn’t be able to), here are ways to get rid of a curse:

Black as night curse removal body scrub by @oldmotherredcap

An easy Calcifer curse reversal spell by @thatemeraldkid

Simple curse destruction spell by @witchcraftings

I’d start by casting the calcifer spell first, and then sip the coffee involved while you make the body scrub, and then cast the simple curse destruction spell. Then take a shower and scrub yourself with the curse removal scrub.

And if you’re a little evil, turn the curse back onto the idiots who dare mess with your pristine self:

Blackthorn reversing spell by @thiscrookedcrown

To counter a curse the traditional way by @phoenix-fire-witchcraft

Drown the witch reversal by @thelifeinliminal

You can really use any one of these and they’d work great.

Now go show these asshats that they shouldn’t have messed with you!!

Love,

Mahigan

It's Time We Take the Next Step

 Hello, Love bugs! 

Dan X Reader

Warnings- Fluff and swears because of Dan amirite?

I used my dog as a reference to this fic. His name is Scooter. He happens to be the little love of my life. He is as described in the fic for looks.The only different is that he is 14 turning 15 in April. I made a gif of him.

Hello, love bugs !! Dan x reader Hi so can you make a Dan x reader and in the fic the reader and Dan adopt a dog? And can you possibly have some fluff in it? Thanks!-anonymous.


“Dan, do you know what today is ?” You’re practically jumping up and down on the bed with excitement. You have been waiting for this day for months and it was finally here. 

“Is it the day you finally let me sleep in on a Thursday? If not then I’m not currently interested.” Dan rolls over to face away from you. It was already 9:30 am he had plenty time to sleep.

“Daniel Howell we can sleep when were dead today is the day! Today is the day we make a huge step in our relationship. We’re becoming parents today.

Keep reading

you’re my werepuppy - Isaac Lahey one shot *fluff*

Original Request from nocomhbhronHey hey!! Love your blog dude :)
Anyway, I was wondering if you’d do a short of Isaac insisting that werewolves don’t like being scratched (like dogs; behind the ear, belly etc) but y/n scratches him while he’s sleeping and his leg starts going off 💕

Pairing: Isaac Lahey x reader

Rating: Teen for swearing


Originally posted by killsalthi

Originally posted by jkque

“[y/n], come get breakfast!” Derek voice blared, waking you up.

You dragged your sleepy form out of bed. After washing your face and brushing your teeth, you joined your pack, not bothering to change out of your pajamas. You entered the common area, seeing Scott and Liam watching cartoons on the couch, Lydia on an adjacent chair eating French toast and reading a thick novel. Stiles and Derek were at the stove, bickering about something while Stiles stirred pancake mix and Derek flipped.

You finally spotted your favorite werewolf, Isaac, who was sitting at the minibar, hunched over a plate of eggs and bacon. Of course he’d be alone, and of course he’d look adorable with his curly hair slightly in disarray and clad in plaid pajamas and a white cotton t-shirt. You always had a soft spot for Isaac, nothing explicitly romantic, but also not inappropriately maternal. Everyone just has ‘that person’ with whom they can share everything and feel safe, and he was your person. And as proven by your unplanned matching attire, you were kindred spirits.

“Morning, sunshine,” you greeted. Isaac’s face shot up, looking at you surprised. He recovered as he recognized it was you, his mouth stretching into a bright smile.

“Morning,” he chimed. “Someone’s finally up.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Well, someone had to stay up most of the night doing research because someone fell asleep, even though they promised they wouldn’t.” You lightly punched his arm.

Isaac ducked his head, a guilty grin taking form.

“Yeah… sorry about that. How do you make yourself stay up so late, anyway?”

You shrugged. “I guess I’m used to it. Tests and papers.”

Isaac playfully scoffed, mumbling something like “such a nerd.”

“What was that?” you piped. Isaac always teased you for being so invested in school, even though he secretly loved how smart you were.

“Nothing! I just said you looked really pretty today,” he shot you a thousand watt smile, leaning in closer to you.

You blushed, trying to mask your visceral reaction with a sarcastic laugh. You nudged him away with your elbow.

“Whatever, Lahey. Just eat your eggs.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mocked, resuming his breakfast.

Derek appeared in your line of vision, knowingly shaking his head at the two of you. Everyone kind of knew that you and Isaac were a duo, not really ~together~ but always together. You had a thing. They respected your unique relationship, occasionally making slides like “stop being gross” and “make out already.”

Derek slid a plate of pancakes in front of you.

“Having a good morning?” he asked, the mischievous glint in his eyes implying a double meaning. He eyed Isaac, then you.

“Really good,” you replied with a tight smile. “Almost as good as yours.”

You gestured towards Stiles, who was now attempting to flip a drippy pancake.

“Shit,” Derek muttered, retreating backwards. “Stiles, don’t touch that!”  

You giggled at their antics, scarfing down a mouthful of pancake. Looking back over at Isaac, a wave of adoration hit you. You observed his careful movements, delicately using a fork and knife to cut up his food. You always wondered if the reason why he was so cautious, so meticulous in his ways was because of his childhood, always afraid to make a mistake, afraid of his father.

Your body moved of its own volition, the urge to comfort him overtaking you. You weren’t sure how, but your hand somehow ended up in new territory behind his ear. You moved your fingers along his hairline, gently scratching the area.

“What are you doing?” Isaac asked, breaking your trance. Amusement and confusion lit his features.

“What?” you replied casually, continuing to move your fingers. After all, it wasn’t unusual for you to touch him affectionately, physical contact a huge component of your friendship.

“You’re… scratching behind my ear.”

“Yeah, so? Do you not like it?” You pulled back slowly, embarrassment burning your face.

“I don’t exactly mind it,” he began with a laugh. “But you know I’m not a dog, right?”  

You raised your eyebrow.

“Hey, come on,” he scoffed in feigned annoyance. “Werewolf. Werewolf,” he enunciated.

You giggled. “I know. I just thought it would feel nice—“

“Well, you thought wrong,” he cut you off. “Werewolves aren’t dogs, [y/n]. We don’t pee everywhere, we don’t like belly rubs, and we don’t. Like. Ear. Scratches,” he pouted adorably.

You put your hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. No more ear scratches,” you relented, but not before reaching up to ruffle his hair, laughing. Isaac merely groaned, hiding a smile in his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day had gone by smoothly. You were grateful, missing the aesthetic of a Lazy Sunday. The pack had decided to go out to dinner, leaving you and Isaac alone. You were both homebodies, preferring to stay in and relax.

You were sitting on the couch watching Pride and Prejudice, Isaac’s head resting in your lap. You absentmindedly stroked patterns into his arm until his body suddenly went limp, his breathing full and even.

He’d fallen asleep. Again.

Okay, you actually sympathized this time. Isaac thought Jane Austen was boring, but it was your turn to pick the movie, and you’d begged him for weeks to watch it with you. He had finally agreed before falling asleep twenty minutes into the film. You sighed, moving your hand away to avoid disturbing him.

But an idea suddenly hit you, recalling back to this morning when Isaac had said that werewolves didn’t like being scratched behind the ear. You thought back to all the times when you were a kid and your dog Molly had fallen asleep curled up beside you. Whenever you scratched her behind her ear, she would always whine softly and nuzzle closer to you in contentment.  

With Molly as inspiration, you slowly placed your fingers behind Isaac’s ear, gently caressing at first. When he didn’t stir, you nudged a little harder, running your fingernails against the exposed skin.

You froze when Isaac shifted, curving his body slightly inward. An almost imperceptible “hmm” broke through the silence as he burrowed his face into your lap. You took that as encouragement.

Still scratching, you used your thumb to graze the shell of his ear, stimulating more of the area. You passively noted how soft his earlobes were.

And that’s when it happened. Isaac’s leg twitched.

You gasped. Had you done it? Had you just proven Isaac wrong about werewolves? Victory was on your mind. Your best friend was literally an overgrown puppy in denial.

You maintained your controlled pace, not straying too long in one area, giving attention to different sections of his skin. You tried to stifle your laughter as Isaac’s leg started going off. You covered your mouth with your hand, the other still stroking him.

Behind you, the front door opened and the pack filed in, their voices and footsteps filling the air.

“Shhh, guys,” you whispered, turning around with a finger to your lips. They all turned towards you, approaching you in the living room.

“What’s up?” Scott said. They all stood in a circle, looking down at you and Isaac.

“Look,” you instructed. They watched silently. You resumed scratching Isaac behind his ear, and on cue, he started kicking his leg.

Stiles’ snort broke through the air as he buried his face into Derek’s shoulder, who was smirking and shaking his head. Liam broke into giggles. Scott hid his smile behind a fist. Lydia placed her hand over her heart, mouthing “so cute.”

Her support quickly turned devious as she pulled out her phone to take a video. The rest of the pack was now doubled over.

“This is so great,” Scott huffed through his mirth.

“This is fucking hilarious. I know what I’m doing tonight.” Stiles informed, a little too loudly. He put his hand on Derek’s shoulder.

Derek glared at him. This created another uproar of giggles.

“Guys, stop,” you warned through fits of laughter. “He’ll wake up!”

And he did.

You looked down when you felt Isaac maneuver in your lap. He looked up at you with wide, confused eyes. You removed your hand discreetly, smiling down at him.

“Heeey,” you welcomed cheerily.

Isaac opened his mouth to respond before he sat up and noticed the roomful of people observing him. The pack recomposed, panting and wiping their eyes, their faces too red and their smiles too wide.

“What?” Isaac asked, his brows furrowed. He looked around, then back to you. “What did I miss?”

You sucked in through your nose, looking down at your lap.

“Umm, well—“

“This.” Lydia sat down beside Isaac and handed him her phone. Crap.

Isaac hesitantly took the object and played the video. You waited for his reaction as you saw his eyes go wide in the screen’s reflection. After a few seconds, he hung his head, planting his face into his palms. “Fuck me.”

The pack broke character again, hunching over in guffaw.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Stiles taunted. “Even though Liam’s the youngest, I guess you’re the real runt of the litter.”

“Shut up,” Lydia protested, grinning. “I think it’s cute.”

“Alright children, let’s call it a night,” Derek ordered, smiling at you. “This was great, [y/n]. Made my night.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Scott approved. You noticed Isaac looking at you from the corner of his eye, his jaw locked. Scott walked towards Isaac and ruffled his hair fondly, from which Isaac reeled back, face tinted bright pink. “You’re the cutest beta there ever was.”

“I hate all of you,” Isaac deadpanned, sitting back with his arms crossed over his chest.

“We love you, too!” Liam called out en route to his bedroom.

Once everyone had left, you stood up, yawning and stretching your arms over your head. You looked down at Isaac, noticing his staring at your exposed midriff, and immediately placed your arms back down. He looked away rapidly. You stood in front of him.

“Well, I hate to say I told you so…”

Isaac glared at you.

“Was that really necessary?” Isaac mumbled.

“A little bit?” you squeaked. His jaw dropped at your admission. “You just kept denying the ear thing! And in my defense, I didn’t know that everyone would come back all at once like that.”

“Yeah, sure you didn’t,” he jeered. “Now Lydia has a video!”

“So? It’s not like she’ll do anything with it,” you defended. “And for the record, I agree with her.”

“Agree with what?” he muttered looking down, fiddling with his thumbs in his lap. You took a step towards him, your knees touching his.

“That you’re cute,” you spoke softly. He looked up at you, mouth parted. You inhaled at his bewildered expression. “Really, really cute.”

“Really?” he whispered. You bit your lip and nodded. Isaac’s mouth formed an ‘o.’

You regarded him with reverence. His face looked so soft from the warm light of the fireplace. You reached down and ran your fingers through his hair, soothing his awe, using your other hand to cup gently under his jaw.

“Let’s just go to bed, okay?” you cooed. He nodded into your palm. You released him as he slowly stood up, eventually towering over you. You were standing a hair width apart, his breath fanning over your forehead.

He lifted one large hand, moving the hair away from your shoulder. He leaned over to confess into your ear.

“I really did like it… the whole time.”

“I know,” you breathed against his shoulder.

Isaac chuckled.

“I guess I really am a dog.”

“Nah, you’re more like a hybrid,” you responded thoughtfully. He cocked his head to the side, silently questioning you. You chucked at his perplexity before concluding.

“You’re my werepuppy.”


A/N: Hey, guys. Can I just say I had the most fun writing this? Thanks so much to nocomhbhron for requesting it! You are my first official request. And you are grand. Hope you and everyone else likes this! :) 

anonymous asked:

DO NOT TAKE PICTURES OF EMPLOYEES WHEN THERE IS A FIGHT HAPPENING!!!! I work in a grooming salon for a big store. We've had a few dog fights happen. It's a thing that happens when you take dogs and but them under stress and add strangers, and new dogs to the mix. When they happen I am not only afraid for MY life, the dogs lives, my employees lives but NOW I also have to be wary of how panicked I look because people will record how we respond. Like just fucking stop.

Prank wars?

A/N: sooooooooo i was bored watching the twins’ videos and i decided hey why not make an imagine based off of the video where Grayson ties Ethan up in a tree and scared him with a clown mask and i kinda wanna turn this into something like different prank imagines in one category idk you’ll understand as i go on. so enjoy @stydiascreams

warning: light cursing

Originally posted by dolanslife

You were facetiming Grayson while he was in New Jersey since you were still in LA for school and he was telling you how he was pranked by Ethan and wanted to get him back but he didn’t know what to do. “Come on babe, you’re great at pranking help me out a bit.” You sighed softly flipping a page in your textbook “Gray you know I’d love to but I’m studying and I just can’t get this chapter to stick in my brain, can you wait like 15 minutes?” You stuck your bottom lip out giving him the puppy dog eyes which caused him to smile and nod “Yes I can wait baby.” You smiled wide and thanked him. You went back to studying you stuck your tongue out concentrating on the page you’re reading he chuckled and looked at you “You’re adorable babe.” You smiled and closed your textbook. “I’m all yours baby” He smiled and looked back at you “Help me prank Ethan” He whined you giggled thinking a bit “Is he still afraid of clowns?” Gray nodded and looked around for Ethan “Yes, why?” You smirked and looked up “Uh Gray I gotta go, can I talk to you later?” He raised an eyebrow and nodded “Um sure, I love you babe.” You stood up putting on your jacket “Yeah love you too baby.” You hung up as you walked out of your room. “That was weird.” Grayson mumbled to himself “What was weird?” He looked up watching Ethan grab a water “Y/N, she rushed off the phone and before that she looked up like someone was there. E, is she cheating on me?“ Ethan’s head snapped in his direction “Y/N? Are we talking about the same person, bro she would never do that. One time she got upset when you didn’t text her back when you went and got the mail.” Grayson ran his hand through his hair. “You’re right bro, she wouldn’t do that. When’s cam coming?” Ethan thought for a second “Uh tomorrow I think”Grayson picked up his phone dialing Cameron’s number “Maybe I can get Cam to go check on Y/N or call her to see where she is.” Grayson put the phone to his ear waiting on her to answer. You and Cameron decided to get lunch before your flight when all of a sudden Grayson’s name pops up on her phone she looks up at me “Should I answer it?” You nodded and sat back “But don’t tell him you’re with me, or that I’m coming with you because I want to surprise him.” She nodded and answered her phone putting it on speaker “Whats up bro?” She beamed you heard him sigh he really sounded stressed maybe you should’ve eased into leaving earlier instead of rushing. “Cam, can you go check on Y/N she left in kind of a hurry and I think someone was with her.” Cameron looked and nodded “Yeah i’ll go check on her now and call you back when I get there.” You bit the inside of your cheek packing up your food Cameron hung up the phone packing up her food as well “Well, time to go back to your apartment for a few minutes to make sure you’re okay then to Jersey we go” You stood up getting back in her car buckling up. “I don’t even know how he’s going to react, hopefully he’ll be excited” You smiled watching Cameron drive finally the two of you reached your apartment “You go inside and I’ll facetime Gray as I knock on the door just say something that makes sense. I don’t know.” She knocked on the door calling Grayson you waited until you heard her say hello. You smiled and answered the door “Hey Cam whats up?” She tried her best not to smile “Gray wanted me to check on you, he said you left in a hurry.” You nodded and held up food “My food was here and the guy was impatient I would’ve taken my phone with me but my phone was dying. Maybe I should call Gray and explain” You pulled your phone out of your pocket “I’m on the phone with him right now.” She turned the phone around showing your smiling boyfriend “Why didn’t you tell me, it’s food babe.” You shrugged checked the time on your phone. “I have to go, I have some studying to do and a essay due in the morning. I’ll text you later Gray.” The two of your said your goodbyes, Cameron hung up the phone and looked at you “Lets go get on that flight.” You smiled and picked up your bag locking the door behind you.

-Time skip-

The plane ride felt so long you decided to turn your phone off for the flight when you finally turned it back on you had almost 20 texts from Grayson, 9 missed calls even some texts from Ethan I texted Ethan back telling him everything hoping that Gray wasn’t near or had his phone in any way “Alright, I’m gonna record it you’re going to knock on our door Ethan is gonna make sure Gray answers the door you’re just gonna come up with some random question and yeah. basically just wing it.” You nodded and knocked on the door taking a deep breath as Grayson opened the door you looked down the street then back at him “Hi, I’m looking for my boyfriend have you seen him?” He smiled wide pulling you into a hug “Every time I look in the mirror.” He kissed your cheek looking at you “You couldn’t tell me you were coming?” You shook your head “That would ruin the surprise, don’t you think?” He shrugged and pulled back from you “Wait so who was really there when we you rushed off the phone?” You looked back at him and pointed behind you “Cam. We’ve been planning this since you left she wouldn’t take no for an answer and the last no i gave her she showed me she already bought the ticket and it was nonrefundable so I really didn’t want her money to go to waste so I’m here.” He picked up yours and Cameron’s bags walking inside “But don’t you have an essay due tomorrow morning?” You sighed and turned to the side showing him your backpack “I do, which is why I brought my books unfortunately.” He hugged you once more “I’m so glad you’re here, now you can help me prank Ethan” You smirked and showed him a little bit of the clown mask. He smiled and took your bag to his room “Lets get ready.” As Grayson was setting everything up you distracted Ethan by taking him to go get pizza with Cameron. “Y/N thank god you’re here, Gray would not stop talking about you. Why didn’t Gray come again?” You smiled and ate another bite of your pizza “I made him do my homework.” He chuckled and checked the time “Oh Gray texted, we gotta take some pics for channel art you guys ready to head back?” You all nodded and walked back to the car driving back you turned on the radio and started jamming. You pulled up putting the car in park Ethan got out the car you and Cameron stayed in the car talking about how its going to happen. 20 minutes go by and you and Cameron finally got out the car walking in the house Grayson is walking around the kitchen talking to the camera “Oh Cam, Y/N come here.” The two of you walked over to him standing beside him “These two lovely ladies helped with the prank so thank you guys, lets go prank Ethan.” He went out back outside taking some “pictures” with Ethan when suddenly Ethan was scooped up in the net screaming and asking whats going on. “Well bro, you’re sleeping out here.” Gray said as he swung Ethan a bit. “I’m gonna chew through this before I sleep out here.” Grayson looked at Ethan and smirked at the camera “And I’m gonna go eat some pizza.” He smirked walking away. He got in the car and drove around by the woods he hopped out running through to the other side where Ethan was. “Hello camera Grayson set you up here.” He looked around and noticed Grayson creeping up to him “What is that” He started jumping around in the net “Grayson? Grayson! I’m gonna punch you in the face!” he kept screaming and jumping around. He calmed down a bit when Grayson started backing away but Grayson came running up cutting the top of the net letting Ethan fall He ran but stopped when he heard Grayson laughing. Ethan ran back tackling Grayson into the tree Ethan kneeled beside Grayson panting “I knew that was Grayson, but if it wasn’t Grayson I had to be ready for anything.” You walked back inside with Cameron as the boys did their outro you sat on the counter talking to Cameron “So do you think you and Gray will ever you know get married?” You giggled and nodded “Of course, every girl dreams of marrying their soulmate.” You smiled looking at Grayson as he walked over to you wrapping his arms around your waist “And he’s my soulmate.” 


masterlist

Bad Girlfriend (Shawn Mendes)

Hey loves, here’s my new imagine.

Feel free to send requests!

Summary: Y/N forgot that Shawn is allergic to dogs and brought one home.

Disclaimer: lynx is any of the four species within the Lynx genus of medium-sized wild cats.

Enjoy!

Originally posted by griersnash


„Stupid stupid stupid“ I kept murmuring while looking at the cute husky in front of me. „Shawn is going to kill both of us“ I sighed. How could I forgot that Shawn is allergic to dogs?

*Few hours earlier*

‚Hey Tara, where‘s the animals shelter you‘re working in?‘ I texted my friend while humming to Shawn‘s music on the radio. Because Shawn is in the studio again and I have nothing to do I decided to visit my friend Tara.

**

„Tara, your friend is here“ Tara‘s coworker yelled. Soon I felt Tara‘s hands around my body. „You‘re finally here¡ I missed you!“ „I missed you too“ I yelled while hugging her. „Weirdos“ the same guy said in a boring tone. „Go fuck yourself, Jeremy“ Tara flipped him. „Wanna go and help me?“ I quickly squealed clapping my hands. Tara always knew I loved animals. When we were little we would always go to shelters and play with animals sometimes we would take some of them to our house too. My house was like a tiny zoo. I loved it. Soon I was surrounded by loads of cuties. AKA doggies. I started playing with all of them. THEY‘RE SO SO FLUFFY AND FREAKING CUTE. I CAN‘T. My gaze landed on the most beautiful dog I have ever seen. He was in the corner playing with his toy. „I‘ll take him“ I told Tara. „Who?“ she asked looking at me confused. „That husky“I pointed to that dog.

**

„How do you like your new home, Nasa?“ I asked my new dog. I quickly put him down when I heard my phone ringing. Without checking who‘s calling I quickly  picked up the phone „Hey princess“ Smile appeared on my face when I heard Shawn‘s cozy voice on the other end. But soon it vanished when my gaze fell on Nasa. „Shit“ I murmured without thinking.“What? Did something happen?“ Shawn asked panicking. „Oh no no, how are you?“ I asked nervously. „You sure? You sound nervous. Oh I‘m good, just wanted to say that I‘ll be stuck in the studio for longer than I thought“ I sighed and smiled „Oh okay“ I answered happily. „Why are you so happy about it? I though you were going to be sad“ Shawn asked laughing „Of course I‘m sad. But now I‘ll be able to cook your favorite“ „That‘s nice. Love you“ „Love you too“ soon as the call ended I looked at my dog. I‘m fucked.

**

„Stay in here, okay?“ I‘ll come later today. You have your toys here, bed, where to pee. It‘s like your kingdom, be a good boy for momma“ I petted Nasa and shut the door when I heard Shawn‘s voice downstairs „Hey baby“ I smiled walking down the stairs „Hey princess“ Shawn hugged me tightly and pecked my lips. „So what‘s for dinner?“ Shawn winked. Oh god I totally forgot about his favorite meal. „Chinese?“ I weakly smiled with rosy cheeks. I was damn ashamed of myself. Shawn pulled me into his arms „I still love you“ „Really?“ „Rea..“ his sneeze cut off his sentence. Here we go.

**

Another sneeze. And another. Shawn‘s face was swollen and I was the only knew the reason behind it.

Sneeze. „I‘m such a bad girlfriend. Oh my god“ I murmured under my breath. „What did you say?“ Shawn asked with runny nose. „That I‘m a bad girlfriend“ I answered while Shawn looked at me confused. „Because you forgot to cook my favorite meal that doesn‘t mean that you‘re a bad girlfriend“ „There‘s more than that“ I looked sadly at him. „You didn‘t sleep with someone else?“ Shawn asked carefully with fear in his eyes. „Oh god no“ Shawn relaxed „that‘s not it either“ I quickly said. „Just wait here“ I said and went to take Nasa. „I totally forgot that you‘re allergic to dogs and I rbought one“ I said with Nasa in my arms. Soon Shawn kissed Nasa. „What are you doing Shawn?“ I screamed pulling Nasa away from him. „What? I love dogs“ „Yes I know, but you‘re allergic“ I looked at him weirdly.

**

„Are you sad that we took Nasa away?“ Shawn asked me. Of course it may looked like this. Sad music was playing in the backround while I was scrolling my camera roll with photos of Nasa I have taken today. „No I‘m not. I just feel lonely“ „You have me“ Shawn pulled me closer to him. „I know“ I said smiling. „You know I read that people pet lynx at their home“ „We‘re not getting lynx, Y/N“ „Okay“ I said sadly.

taken from the 2012 film skyfall of the james bond franchise.

‘ i have to stop the bleeding! ’
‘ leave him! ’
‘ take the bloody shot! ’
‘ agent down. ’
‘ where the hell have you been? ’
‘ what was it you said? take the bloody shot? ’
‘ i made a judgment call. ’
‘ didn’t you get the postcard? ’
‘ run out of drink where you were, did they? ’
‘ you know the rules of the game, you’ve been playing it long enough. ’
‘ so, that’s it.. we’re both played out. ’
‘ speak for yourself. ’
‘ you should’ve called! ’
‘ well, you’re bloody well not sleeping here. ’
‘ i’m sorry, have we met before? ’
‘ i’m the one who should say sorry. ’
‘ it was only four ribs, some of the less vital organs.. nothing major. ’
‘ do be a favor: if they do ever let you back out there, warn me first. ’
‘ well, you gave it your best shot. ’
‘ it was hardly my best shot! ’
‘ in your defense, a moving target is much harder to hit. ’
‘ then you better keep moving! ’
‘ the whole place goes up in smoke, and that bloody thing survives. ’
‘ your interior decorating tips have always been appreciated. ’
‘ there’s no shame in admitting you’ve lost a step. ’
‘ you don’t need to be an operative to see the obvious. ’
‘ don’t cock it up. ’
‘ room service. ’
‘ i didn’t order anything, not even you. ’
‘ aren’t you a little over-qualified to be delivering messages? ’
‘ cut-throat razor.. how very traditional. ’
‘ well, i like to do some things the old fashioned way. ’
‘ sometimes the old ways are the best. ’
‘ are you putting your life in my hands again? ’
‘ raising the tantalizing question of what you’re really doing here. ’
‘ hold still, this is the tricky part. ’
‘ old dog, new tricks. ’
‘ don’t touch your ear. ’
‘ you look beautiful in that dress. ’
‘ it’s amazing what one can do with an extra pair of hands. ’
‘ now you can afford to buy me a drink. ’
‘ i’m not very lucky. ’
‘  well it takes a certain kind of girl to wear a backless dress with a beretta 70 strapped to her thigh. ’
‘ one can never be too careful when handsome men in tuxedos carry walthers. ’
‘ be careful what you wish for. ’
‘ how much do you know about fear? ’
‘ not like this.. not like him. ’
‘ i like you better without your beretta. ’
‘ it’s not too late, you can still turn back. ’
‘ it’s amazing, the panic you can cause with a simple computer. ’ 
‘ does he always get what he wants? ’
‘ hello, (name), welcome! do you like the island? ’
‘ you have changed their nature. ’
‘ the two survivors: this is what she made us. ’
‘ i made my own choices. ’
‘ that’s your genius. ’
‘ back then, i was her favorite. ’
‘ just look at you, barely held together by your pills and your drink. ’
‘ what is this if not betrayal? ’
‘ she sent you off to me, knowing you are not ready, knowing you would likely die. ’
‘ mommy was very bad. ’
‘ look at what she’s/he’s done to you. ’
‘ we are the last two rats.. we can either eat each other, or eat everyone else. ’
‘ how you’re trying to remember your training now. ’
‘ well, first time for everything. ’
‘ what makes you think this is my first time? ’
‘ everyone needs a hobby. ’
‘ to the women we love. ’
‘ did you really die that day? ’
‘ i win, what do you say to that? ’
‘ you’re smaller than i remember! ’
‘ but they made me suffer, and suffer, and suffer. ’
‘ you betrayed me. ’
‘ life clung to me like a disease. ’
‘ i needed to look in your eyes one last time. ’
‘ soon, your past will be as nonexistent as your future. ’
‘ look upon your work, mother. ’
‘ i invented them. ’
‘ put your back into it! ’
‘ why don’t you come down here and put your back into it. ’
‘ well, that’s vexing. ’
‘ you caught me! now, here’s your prize. ’
‘ the latest thing from my local toy store: it’s called radio. ’
‘ how safe do you feel? ’
‘ to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield! ’
‘ i’m guessing this isn’t strictly official? ’
‘ so much for my promising career in espionage. ’
‘ are you going to complain the whole way? ’
‘ go on then, eject me. see if i care. ’
‘ orphans always make the best recruits. ’
‘ a storm’s coming. ’
‘ are you still alive? ’
‘ nice to see you, too. ’
‘ some men are coming to kill us, but we’re gonna kill them first. ’
‘ sometimes the old ways are the best. ’
‘ try and stop me, you jumped up little shit! ’
‘ i did call you an exemplary of british fortitude. ’
‘ that bit was alright. ’
‘ always gotta make an entrance. ’
‘ all this jumping and fighting, it’s exhausting! ’
‘ relax, you need to relax. ’
‘ well, mother’s calling. ’
‘ of course, it had to be here.. it had to be this way. ’
‘ free both of us. ’
‘ only you can do it. ’
‘ last rat standing. ’
‘ i guess it’s too late to make a run for it. ’
‘ i did get one thing right. ’
‘ hate to waste a view. ’
‘ maybe it was her way of saying you should take a desk job. ’
‘ just the opposite. ’

youtube

I finished it!! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ After three days of nonstop struggling with Twain’s hair. hope you guys like it! The audio is from The Emperor’s New Groove!

strikereureka01  asked:

do you have any pets? if you do how cute are they? :D

LEMME SHOW YOU

this is Luna, my big, beautiful, and slightly bitchy kitty❤️❤️

and these two are new editions,

lucy (white/brown) and mipha (black blob lucy is on) but i cant get any good pictures of them cause they dont like me yet:(

and theres the funniest video of my dog scratching his butt on the house and im gonna post it as soon as someone send it to me so be ready for that

so I’ve finally started watching Hannibal approximately 50 years after everyone else (I have terrible anxiety and was worried the psychological and gore aspects would trigger some stuff, which it kind of has but w/e) and holy shit. what a show. WHAT A SHOW. 

to put things into perspective, I started this a couple of days ago and am now on episode 3 of season 2. I cannot stop watching it, despite Netflix’s best attempts at sabotage (really, fam? only one season? 2 years after it finished?) 

the humour is perfectly measured, the cinematography is sublime, the acting is [mcpoyle voice] top notch, the soundtrack is both fantastically eerie (the plink plonks! the low rumbling that seems to reverberate inside my head and could so easily be overbearing but isn’t) and joyously bombastic (beethoven! bach! stravinsky!), the meticulously crafted dishes that have inspired me to start cooking again (though admittedly with a slightly tweaked list of ingredients), the fascinating and peculiar relationship dynamics, the desaturated colour palette, the fact that there aren’t any unnecessarily lingering shots of naked women’s mutilated bodies (I’m looking at you, GoT), hugh dancy’s sad little face, the anachronistic bespoke suits, the dogs, the CHEEKBONES. just. all of it.

I cannot wait to discover how all of this unfolds and how the characters develop and I’m already dreading its inevitable, unjust end. 

so let’s just finish this with a gif of my favourite part from the previous episode

oh hannibal, you cheeky fucker! rocking up in your vinyl kill suit to appreciate a nice new avant-garde installation, like a shoreditch hipster version of patrick bateman! I love you.

Bloody Ocean Waves: Chapter 3

All of the breath in my body left all at once. I could feel my heart rise to my throat. Keith was without a doubt the one holding me at sword-point. I mean I can feel him pressed against my back. And I’d recognize those abs anywhere. I knew this was unavoidable. It was only a matter of time but I didn’t expect it to come so soon. I’m going to die today by Keith’s hands. Or should I say sword? Hell, I don’t know how he’s gonna react. He might throw away his blade and then beat me to death. I mean it’s not likely but anything’s possible I guess. The real question is what I’d prefer. Definitely sword, it’d be faster and less painful. I mean I’d prefer to live but that is becoming less and less likely as the day goes on. I wonder if I don’t die right now how could this day get worse? Somehow I don’t think that could happen but I’ve been surprised before.

“LANCE!?”

Oh shit right, Keith’s talking to me.

“Y-yeah.” My adam’s apple pressed awkwardly against the sharp blade when I spoke. “Yeah, it’s me.”

I felt Keith stiffen behind me. Speaking of which could he possibly back up a little? I really don’t want to feel him basically grinding on me in my final moments. Then again I once heard this phrase that was something along the lines of “The weak don’t get to choose how they die”. I’ve thought about that phrase a lot during my time in space. A weakling like me doesn’t get to die surrounded by my family like I’ve always wanted. Since becoming the Blue Paladin I’ve thought that I’d die on the battlefield. A battlefield millions of light-years away from everyone I’ve ever cared about. Instead, I’m gonna have to die uncomfortably close to Keith’s dick. Who would have guessed?

“Prove it.” He growled.

“You’re a dick.”

The sword pressed against my throat slowly moved away.

“Okay, it’s you.”

Once free I quickly stepped away from him and turned around. Keith had a firm grip on the handle of his sword but kept it lowered. His stance was clearly defensive but not aggressive. His bandaged hand was pressed tightly against his chest. It was clear that he was in pain, I just hope that he didn’t reopen his wounds. I mean I hope that he didn’t erase all of the hard work I put into taking care of him. I don’t care about his well being at all. Nope, not in the slightest he could drop dead for all I care. Anyway, this situation was, by all means, a surprise. Yeah, he knows that it’s me but he also knows that I’m a ghoul so why am I not dead? I avoided looking him in the eye.

“What happened?” To my surprise, he didn’t sound angry. He just sounded confused and… frail. This was wrong. Keith didn’t do frail. Keith’s an awesome pilot that does crazy stuff like fly through asteroid belts on the regular. He’s easily the best fighter out of all of us and Shiro’s right-hand man. Both figuratively and literally seeing as he forms Voltron’s right arm. He has been nothing but confident in both his skills and his decisions since we all became paladins. Seeing him this unsure was worrying. And those new drooping ears sure didn’t help the situation. Honestly, with that heartbroken face and those ears, I’d even go to say he looked cute. Like a cute little puppy dog, you had just kicked. Though to be fair the fact that he’s covered head-to-toe in blood and holding a deadly weapon sure negate that puppy dog effect.

I should probably answer him but… how? What exactly do I tell him? That I was born a monster but I’ve tried my whole life to be human? What does he even want to hear?! Fuck it I’ll just shrug that’ll probably work.

I bit my lip and gave him a half-hearted shrug. Well more like half-shouldered shrug since one of mine is completely unmovable due to excruciating pain. Keith’s grip on his weapon loosened and his lips tightened. He glared at me though it was lacking any actual anger, instead, he looked concerned? It’s kind of hard to tell with his new Galra-like eyes. At least he’s still got his pupils, I’ve only seen completely yellow eyes from other Galra. Pfft, I just came up with a funny pun, he “galred” at me. ‘Cus he’s Galra and he just glared at me. Haha, classic Lance. Right, serious conversation time Keith’s talking again.

“Lance that’s not an answer, what happened?!”

I didn’t want to admit it. Saying the truth out loud would make this all too real. I’ll just keep avoiding the question for as long as I can.
“Alright alright calm down, we rescued Allura and you got injured while fighting Zarkon” I mumbled ‘big surprise’ under my breath “Then both of us were hit by some weird magical beam courtesy of Haggar. And then while we were warping away something went wrong with the wormhole and all of us were separated. After having a pretty rough landing myself I found you looking all Galra-like and patched you up, and now we’re here.”

“You know that’s not what I meant-” He paused while his eyes grew in fear. “What did you say?”

Oh no, please god no this conversation doesn’t need to get any more awkward. Please spare me one moment of peace. He’s got to know right? I mean how do you just not know that about yourself. I mean I would have never guessed but… Keith has to already know he’s Galra right?? Please don’t make me explain to Keith that he’s Galra. How am I this unlucky why is it always me in shitty situations like this? Might as well bite the bullet already, who knows maybe the universe will give me a break today and not force me to explain to my teammate that he’s a monster. Keith is strong, stronger than I could ever be, but anyone would break down when they realize that they’re part of the species that we’re supposed to be fighting.
“That I found you looking all Galra-like?”

“Y-You’re joking right?” It sounded like even he didn’t believe what he was saying. Guess that confirms that theory. Keith didn’t know he was Galra and now I’m the bringer of existentially bad news. Man, this whole situation just sucks.

Then Keith caught sight of his hand. He dropped his weapon in shock and brought his hands to his face. His furry, purple, and clawed hands. The hands of a monster. He dropped to his knees and just kept staring at his hands blankly. His face was devoid of emotion. He just kept inspecting his hands. Like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His pupils were shrunk to inhuman sizes and his breathing panicked. Despite his fragile state he still refused to cry. Even in his toughest moments, he stayed stoic. I think he’s having a panic attack. How do I help him? I’ve helped Poco out of her panic attacks but Keith and she are completely different people. And I’m not that close with Keith I don’t know how to help him. I wish Shiro was here. Shiro was Keith’s adopted brother if I’m remembering what they told me correctly. Shiro would know just what to do. But I’ve got to try anyway.

“Hey, Keith budd-” I was cut off by him suddenly and violently scratching his hands apart. As if he could tear the fur right off of him. His new claws were doing serious damage to his already messed up hands. Purple blood started flowing from the new and deep wounds he had created. The sight of his blood only seemed to worsen his mood. He started scratching with even more force behind the movements. I had to stop him.

“HEY HEY WHOA!!” I screamed while I took him by the hand. He tensed up at the action as if I was hurting him. I loosened my grip in fear that I squeezed his already messed up hand too tightly. Ghouls are scarily strong, strong enough to accidentally break bones when all I want to do is a help. The moment my grip loosened he broke away from my hold and went to grab at his hair. But his hand brushed past his new ears. His lips tightened. He started clawing at his ears leaving deep gashes in the vulnerable flesh. I grabbed his hands without care for how strong my grip was. I held his broken hand in mine and the other with my kagune. I pinned his hands to the ground.

“Keith! KEITH!”

Now that he wasn’t ripping apart his ears I could see the damage. Both his ears and his hands were torn open showing just how sharp his new claws were. A large chunk of flesh was missing from his right ear. I could probably find it if I looked down. Keith was struggling under my grip but I kept him restrained. I was trying my hardest to not use too much force but with every second of struggling it seemed like it was my only option. After all, Ghouls are strong, but Galra can easily keep up with them when it comes to strength. I tightened my grip and called out to him again.

“Keith you gotta calm down!”

He wasn’t listening to me and I wouldn’t be able to hold him forever. I did the only thing I could think of. I smashed our foreheads together violently. He stopped struggling.

“Keith look at me.” I said seriously while making no room for protest. My temple was in a lot of pain, I ignored it.

He looked up and our eyes met. One pair a sharp and ugly red against pitch black. The other a deep indigo highlighted by an acidic yellow. Neither were human yet both would give anything to be.

“Repeat after me, alright?” I said before his attention could switch away from me. He slowly nodded while biting his lip. Poco always calmed down when I used this technique. Hopefully, Keith will react well to it as well.

“My name is Keith Kogane.”

“My name is Keith Kogane.” He repeated.

“I’m the pilot of the Red Lion.”

“I’m the pilot of the Red Lion.”

“A member of Voltron, defenders of the universe.”

“A member of Voltron, defenders of the universe.”

“I have a stupid mullet.”

“I have a stup- LANCE!” Damn, he almost fell for it.

“And I’m not a monster.” He hesitated to repeat after me. “Keith please.”

“And I’m not a monster.” He said at long last but it sounded dishonest. He wasn’t fighting me anymore. Instead, he was just sitting there looking lost and confused. It was pitiful to see such an incredible person at his weakest. If there’s a God out there he sure is a bastard, forcing such wonderful people to hurt themselves like this. Forcing them to be something that they never wanted to be. It’s funny that it took me this long to see his but Keith reminds me a lot of Poco. Both are undeserving of their situations. I wasn’t able to help Poco but I refuse to let Keith go down the same path. I would do anything to save him from himself.

“Could you let go of me?” He said in a tired tone.

“Only if you promise not to hurt yourself again.” He nodded softly. I reluctantly let go of him. He didn’t hurt himself but he didn’t move either. He just kept looking down at the floor. I extended my kagune to grab the med-kit lying on the other side of the cockpit. I slid it over to where we were sitting. I took a piece of cloth and soaked it in disinfectant. I softly took one of Keith’s hands and starting patching him up again. He didn’t protest.

Damn these are some serious scratches. Both of his hands were borderline mangled and drenched in purple blood. I pressed the cloth against his hand, he flinched but kept silent. I wonder if I should have cleaned the blood off first. Man, I really wish Poco taught me more about medical stuff. Once I figured that his wounds were clean I took another cloth and started wiping the blood off. Would be better if I had some water. Wait, I’m pretty sure Coran said that Altean bandages were waterproof during his med-kit explanation. That means I could clean myself off in the river without having to re-bandage anything. I would love to clean up after Keith’s better. Like seriously I’m sure being coated in blood isn’t good for my complexion. Once his hand was deemed clean enough I started wrapping it up.

I took his other hand and winced once I saw how bad it was. This was the hand that already broken, to begin with, so that was a good start. Keith really didn’t go easy on himself. For the most part, it looked like his other hand, deep gashes but nothing too serious. But there was one gash that was deep enough to reveal bone. I started patching this one up a lot quicker than I did the other hand. I pressed the disinfectant cloth into the wound and Keith jerked back in pain. I saw him bite down on his tongue to prevent a scream. I kept the cloth on regardless. I took another cloth from the med-kit and started cleaning up his hand.

“Haggar did this to us didn’t she.” I paused in my cleaning and looked up at him. I really wasn’t expecting Keith to speak up first.

“Yeah, she did.” I answered before continuing my rather poor patch-up job.

“We can’t return to the others like this.” I hummed an agreement.

“There’s got to be a way for us to fix this.” He continued.

“Maybe another druid could help?” I suggested.

“Maybe.” He mumbled while inspecting his bandaged hand with a weary expression. Guess he doesn’t trust in my ability to patch him up. Though to be fair I don’t either. I don’t have a clue to what I’m doing.

“Allura never mentioned that druid magic could do something as radical as a species change.” He said mostly to himself. Wait, what?

“Could you repeat that?” I paused in the cleaning of his wounds. There was no way what I think is happening is happening. The universe would never be so kind to me.

“I said that I didn’t know druid magic could change someone into something else?” He answered with a confused expression. Probably wondering why I would ask him to repeat that.

Oh my god, I can’t believe that something this good is happening to me. All of my good karma is coming together to create this one great act. Keith doesn’t realize that neither of us are human, he thinks this is completely due to druid magic. I have a chance to keep my secret. He doesn’t think I’m a monster. He still thinks I’m human. I can’t let him realize the truth I can’t let him know that I’m a disgusting freak. But this should be easy. I mean I’m already used to lying on a daily basis to the people I care about. All I have to do now is find a druid that can fix this while keeping the fact that neither of us are human a secret. Holy shit I could break into tears right now, it’s been a long day but things are finally looking up for me. Just have to keep the act up.

“Oh yeah! I mean I was super confused when I woke up like this.” I lied easily as I starting bandaging his hands up. He nodded his agreement but the action was cut short when he suddenly reached out and grabbed my shoulder. Honestly, I was surprised how gently he held me. He looked terrified and… concerned?

“Lance what happened to your arm!?”

“Hm? Oh, I had a bit of a rough landing, I’ll manage.” I waved his concern off.

“I’ll manage!? Lance, you lost an arm!”

I shifted out of his grip and returning to bandaging his hand up. If I act casual he won’t think it’s a big deal.

“It’ll grow back.” I said with a shrug.

That seemed to calm him down a bit though he still looked concerned for me. Though his concern was quickly replaced by discomfort.

“Oh, right.” He said awkwardly. He fidgeted slightly in his seat and avoided looking me in the eyes. Guess he doesn’t like being reminded of my “ghoulness”. Can’t really blame the guy, no one should be completely comfortable with a man-eating monster. Just goes to show how I need to do everything I can to keep the truth from him. Better switch the topic before things get even more uncomfortable. I’ll just start bickering with him like we always do, that’ll get rid of this serious mood.

“Took you awhile to notice, though.” I said slyly. “Guess you’re slower than I first thought.”

“I had other things to worry about.” He growled while his cheeks flushed a strange lilac color. Huh, I guess Galra do blush purple.

“Oh? So you’re admitting that you care more about yourself than me?” I said, though my words were lacking any real anger. Keith seemed to pick up on the fact that I was just playing.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He grumbled just as I finished bandaging his hand.

Now how do I treat his ears? Guess I’ll just wing it. I reached up and cupped his chin. He leaned into my touch, guess that means he’s letting me work on his ears. I moved his face to the side so I could get a better view of his wounds. His left ear had a few cuts on it but his right ear was missing a whole chunk of flesh. I gently dabbed the disinfectant on his cuts. He tensed at the action but stayed still enough for me to properly work on him.

“Man, you really owe me for this.”

“I feel like you should owe me.” He eyed his bandages with a raised eyebrow and a grimace.

“Excuse me! You don’t get to complain to the person who just saved your life.” I stopped cleaning his wounds so I could put my hand on my chest in an over-dramatic offense. He let out a huff of air in a mix of amusement and annoyance.

“You don’t have to do this you know. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Oh please like you could do this any better.”

“It’d be a challenge not to.”

“A challenge huh?” I eyed him with a raised eyebrow and a sly smirk. I planted the still wet cloth in his hand and he winced at the sudden pressure on his injured hands. But he didn’t let that wince show for long. In fact, a normal person wouldn’t have even spotted it. But I’d like to consider myself a pretty observant person. And I know that Keith can never back down from a challenge, no matter how pointless it was. Though to be fair I’m just as bad. Actually, I’m even worse considering I’m the one starting these challenges most of the time. But it’s not like I’d admit that to Keith, I’d never admit a lot of things to Keith.

“Prove it.” I said with a cat-like smile as I sat back criss-cross apple sauce and planted my chin on my hand, elbow resting on my thigh. I could feel my kagune wave lazily behind me. Keith rolled his eyes at my tendency to make everything into a competition. Whatever, he can roll his eyes all he wants but he’s still the one that agrees to my challenges. At least this will give me a chance to relax while Keith does all the work. Besides, Keith would be much better at this than me. Not that I’d ever admit that out loud. He’s just so naturally gifted at everything, well everything besides talking, but of course, he would be just as talented in medicine. Though that’s not too much of a compliment considering I’ve been doing all of this with only one hand.

Keith set to work immediately leaving no room for messing around. He took some of the patches used for smaller wounds and set to covering all of his cuts. I would have figured the regular bandages would have been better but now that I’m thinking about it I’m not exactly sure how you would wrap his ears without covering his eyes as well. I eyed his wounds wearily. Most of them would probably scar. I figured they’d look kind of like tiger stripes once fully healed. The lines thinning and thickening in an intricate pattern that covered most of his ears. I wonder if it’s possible for Ghoul’s to get scars. I’d love to have a cool scar like Keith will. Girls love badass looking scars. Something noticeable like on my face but not big or messy enough to be considered ugly. Something like a cut on my eyebrow. Keith is gonna get so much attention from those sweet looking scars. Though, I guess his ears would look a whole lot less cool once Human again.

Once his ears were properly bandaged he started ripping off all of his other bandages and re-wrapping his wounds. My expression soured but I kept quiet. Those bandages were just barely clinging to his form before. As much as I’d hate to admit it he really does need proper care. And even with damaged hands, he could deliver that much better than I ever could. Man, why is Keith so badass? He’s super injured and just had a panic attack but he isn’t letting him phase him at all. He’s even dressing his own wounds while I just sit back and watch. What did he do to become so great at everything? Why is he so much better than me in every way? I mean he’s a better pilot and a better fighter, plus he’s Shiro’s favorite. When all of us were still on Earth Shiro was my hero and I always dreamed of getting his attention. And now that we’re all soldiers against our will I still lack his recognition. I mean I’m always trying my hardest but that’s always going to be nothing compared to Keith.

“Lance?” Oh looks like he finished redressing his wounds. And now he’s looking at me all concerned like. Damn, my expression must have given away my depressing thoughts. I can’t let this get to me, not in front of Keith. He doesn’t need another reason to see me as weak. I just have to stay strong until both of us are human-looking again.

“What’s up?” I hastily put on my signature smile and met his gaze. The moment our eyes connected he looked away from my face. My eyes must really freak him out and I can’t really blame the guy. I mean he must have been raised on scary stories about ghouls just like all other humans. Back on Earth ghouls lived hidden not out of personal choice but due to fear of death. All known ghouls were hunted and killed like wild animals. Even the “peaceful” ghouls that didn’t kill, like my family and I. It’s almost funny how humans were raised to fear ghouls yet ghouls were raised to fear humans even more.

“Never mind.” He muttered awkwardly. Keith has never been good at emotions. He dealt with swords and ships not talking and emoting. I guess a sincere looking smile is enough to ward off suspicion for now. Better change the subject before he could push me further.

“Hey, you’re one of those weirdos that prepare for the apocalypse right?”

“The term is survivalists but yes I am.” He looked sour at my comment about his weirdness. And I stand by my statement about him and his weird hobbies. Like seriously who spends their free time on stuff like cryptid hunting, conspiracy theories, and survival scenarios? He could be doing much more useful things in his spare time like actually taking care of that thing attached to his head he calls a mullet. I don’t think his hair has ever actually seen a shampoo bottle in his entire life. I mean that’s what I do in my free time, skin and hair care is no joke.

“So have you decked Red out with anything useful? Specifically a change of clothes and some towels?”

“Yes?” He said, clearly confused to why I was asking for such things.

“Because we, my now furry friend, are going for a dip.”

“A what?”

“We’re gonna go wash off.”

“Oh, yeah that’d be nice.” He said with as grimace as he looked down at his bloody and torn undersuit.

“So lead the way?” I got up to my feet and offered my hand to Keith. He took it and I pulled him to his feet. I looked down at him with a small smirk. Keith might be better to me than everything, receives Shiro’s affection, and isn’t a bloodthirsty monster but at the very least I’m a good deal taller than him. Keith took off to the other side of the cockpit and crouched down to a large metal box that had been attached to the floor. Looks like he had Red’s cockpit modified just like I modified Blue’s. Nothing big but just a few additions that we felt were necessary. Pidge and Hunk probably helped him just like they helped me since those two were in charge of mechanical stuff.

The box was locked and Keith took the padlock in his hand. A holographic screen with a keyboard filled with Altean symbols projected from the lock. So it’s an Altean padlock then, I haven’t seen one before. The Altean language is complete nonsense to me in both spoken and written form. But I guess that’s to be expected from an alien language. Keith started typing in an over complicated password that really should have ended at the fifteenth symbol. But no instead it kept going until I had lost count of how many symbols long it was. How does Keith even remember this code? Why did he make it so long? Oh wait I know the answer to that question and it’s because he’s a paranoid weirdo.

Finally, the lock clicked open and the holographic screen dissipated. Keith opened the lid of the box and inside was everything you’d expect and so much more. To the left were a collection of knives bundled together by a piece of red cloth, four folded up ponchos which of course were all red, several boxes of matches, a catalytic heater and some bottled gas fuel, and finally a folded up red sleeping bag. To the right were four Altean first aid kits like the ones we had in our lions, three canteens all full of water, a water filter, a mass of canned foods which ranged from “Canned Corn” to “Canned Narsfluf Meat”, a large net, some kind of super advanced space radio, six red flares, a notepad and a box of pencils, and a compass. And underneath all of that were a collection of sharp weapons which included a Swiss Army Knife, a hatchet, a machete, and a pair of bladed brass knuckles?? What would you ever need bladed brass knuckles for?! Holy shit man, what else is in here? That half broken pencil I lost in third grade!? My little sister’s misplaced teddy bear!? My long gone self-esteem!?

“My god Keith how did you even fit everything in here!?”

“Practice.” He said with a stone cold expression while looking me dead in the eye.

“Wha- you know what never mind, just get me a set of clothes and a towel.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt this defeated before.

“Alright.” He said before unpacking some of his supplies to reveal a second layer of bullshit hidden underneath the first layer. In this new layer I could see six sets of Keith’s usual outfit, a load of folded up towels and blankets, a portable stove, a bow saw, a set of armor, several red glow sticks, a few candles, a bunch of trash bags, and a parachute. Why would he even need a parachute? What is wrong with this box. I, a man-eating monster, and Keith, a furry purple alien cat-human hybrid, pilot giant mechanical lions and were hit by a magic lightning bolt cast by a space druid. And yet somehow a single metal box manages to be the strangest thing to ever happen to me. I’m pretty sure it is physically impossible to fit all of this shit into a single room and yet somehow he fit it all in a box.

“Why do you even need all of this…”

“It’s good to be prepared.” He said with a shrug and an innocent look on his face as if he didn’t break the laws of reality to pack this box.

“Look, man, there’s being prepared and then there’s whatever the hell this is!”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Keith! Look at everything in here! What is RIGHT about is!?”

“Lance.”

“No I’m being serious here I’m sure some law of nature was broken today!”

“Lance stop.”

“If I had taken every object in my house and stuffed it all into a box, which I should mention isn’t POSSIBLE, it still wouldn’t be anywhere close to how much shit you’ve got here!!”

“Lance you’re being over dramatic.”

“I am not being over dramatic.” I said dramatically with a hand on my chest “What do you even plan to do with bladed brass knuckles and a parachute!? I could maybe understand the rest of it but what would you ever use a pair of bladed brass knuckles and a parachute for!?”

“I just wanted to be prepared.”

“FOR WHAT!?!?”

“Everything.”

I wasn’t going to win this. I let out a deep and tired sigh as I rubbed my template. How did he even get all this stuff? Did he ask Allura or Coran for some Altean versions of regular Earth survival gear? Did he bring all of this from Earth!? No, I would have noticed I was the one that flew everyone off of Earth. There was no way he could have hidden this box while we were flying to Arus. I don’t even understand what half of this stuff would be used for. Keith is weird.

“Whatever, let’s just clean up already.”