how do you like my new dog

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

101 Writing Prompts

1. “I didn’t know you two were related.” “We didn’t either.”

2. “I’m not saying I’m gay, but I would be if they were asking.”

3. “I’ve tried my hardest to fall for you, but it’ll always be them.”

4. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.”

5. “I didn’t even want to come to this party. You lied to me about the pinata.”

6. “Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in.”

7. “I have to go in there with you? I didn’t sign up to play 7 minutes in hell .”

8. “That’s not how you pronounce my name and I’m not even sure you tried.”

9. “Are you new here?” “We’ve been in the same math class for six years.”

10. “You really shouldn’t touch that… I told you.”

11. “I recognise you. Do you have a dog.”

12. “ You’ve never seen Harry Potter?

13. “Can’t we just lay here for a minute?”

14. “We have to stop running into each other like this.”

15. “Is it weird if I say that your dad’s really hot?”

16. “I know it’s 2am but can we meet up?”

17. “I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together but I know I’m mad about it.”

18. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell anybody!”

19. “I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories.”

20. “They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am.”

21. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now it’s here I don’t know how to feel.”

22. “You can’t just say that and then disappear!”

23. “I always hear my neighbour playing this beautiful music, but I’ve never actually met them.”

24. “Would it be alright if I pet your dog?”

25. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late but an owl got in my house and I have no idea how to get it out.”

26. “We can’t call the police! They’ll never believe us!”

27. “Why are you buying plane tickets? Are you leaving?”

28. “I swear I’ve seen them before in a dream.”

29. “I don’t want to be your partner either but we have to get this assignment done.”

30. “I never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”

31. “It’s your fault, and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

32. “This isn’t easy for me either.”

33. “I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

34. “Can you at least promise me that?” “I don’t think I can, not this time.”

35. “I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.”

36. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard to you want me to hit you?”

37. “I’d be scared if I were you.”

38. “You can’t go in there alone .”

39. “This seems like a lot of effort to go to for a mediocre joke.”

40. “Delete that picture right now or Mr.Snuggles gets it!”

41. “You didn’t go through my photos did you?!”

42. “Uhhh, I went through your photos and I have some questions.”

43. “I swear to god, if you tag me in one more bad meme I’ll make you regret it.”

44. “I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

45. “You have individual ringtones for everyone? What’s mine?”

46. “ Why wouldn’t you lock the door?

47. “Did you know kissing burns calories?” “I’m happy with my weight, thanks.”

48. “Your bad pickup lines aren’t cute, they’re just bad.”

49. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again.”

50. “I don’t think you’re ever too old for trick-or-treating.”

51. “We’re dressing up for Halloween this year and that’s final.”

52. “I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.” “I didn’t.”

53. “Fuck you.” “Not with that attitude.”

54. “90% of people admit to having at least a slight bondage kink, and 10% are lying about it.”

55. “I don’t understand why you won’t just use a map on your phone.”

56. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window.”

57. “The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did.”

58. “You know, I was joking in that birthday card when I said I’d help you hide a body.”

59. “Can we please turn off this song.” “But it’s a masterpiece .”

60. “I’ve known you for two years and I think I’ve been saying your name wrong the whole time.”

61. “Wow, you really are blind!” “Thanks for the update, can I have my glasses back now?”

62. “It might be petty but you borrowed my pencil three weeks ago and I’m gonna need it back.”

63. “I think they have a crush on you, which sucks because I’m kinda into them.”

64. “Just go and talk to them, they dont bite!” “What if biting turns me on? If they dont do it then what’s the point?”

65. “You can’t say that in front of children!”

67. “Seven years old is practically an adult.”

68. “Dude I ordered this on eBay and you have to see what they sent me.”

69. “I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.”

70. “I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

71. “My friend thinks you’re cute, personally I don’t get it but this isn’t about me right now.”

72. “Not everything is about you!” “Untrue.”

73. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

74. “This is why I hate family dinners! It always gets awkward.”

75. “This can only end two ways and neither of them are pretty.”

76. “Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows! Things get hard sometimes, that’s just how it is!”

77. “My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers, and you’re definitely strange.”

78. “I can’t believe you fell asleep when I was showing you my favourite movie of all time.”

79. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

80. “I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didnt have to leave.”

81. “Everything’s changing and I hate it! I liked the way things were.”

82. “You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d probably tear it off.”

83. “Do you think they noticed that we left?”

84. “The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try.”

85. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I’m only asking because it hurt when I did and I thought I might have done it wrong.”

86. “That was super cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant.”

87. “You didn’t tell me you were gay!” “You didn’t tell me you weren’t.”

88. “Your friend told me you had a crush on me, I just wanted to let you know your friend is a snake.”

89. “Are you staring at me or are you staring past me?”

90. “If you we’re a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl.”

91. “Sounds stupid. When are we doing it?”

92. “Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just incase they get suspicious?”

93. “This is the part in the movie where we kiss or one of us dies. My fingers are crossed for option one.” “Speak for yourself.”

94. “I’m offended that you don’t have more faith in me but, honestly, it’s understandable given past experience.”

95. “Its just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die.”

96. “I would light myself on fire to keep you warm and you wouldn’t even hand me a coat if I were freezing.”

97. “I trusted you, and so I guess I should have seen this coming.”

98. “I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”

99. “Okay, but this is the last time I bail you out!”

100. “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

101. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

First Interaction Starters
  • "Can I buy you a drink?"
  • "I've heard a lot about you"
  • "Welcome to _____ "
  • "Can I take your order?"
  • " _____, you're under arrest"
  • "Looks like we're room-mates"
  • "IT Support, how can I help you?"
  • "Do you know the bride or the groom?"
  • "Hi, I just moved in next-door"
  • "Excuse me, is this your dog?"
  • "Help, please! Somebody help me!"
  • "I guess I'm your new partner"
  • "Oh my god! Are you okay?"
Prompts!
  1. “You’re really soft.”
  2. "You smell nice.”
  3. “You’re cute when you’re worried”
  4. “I think i’m in love with you, and that terrifies me.”
  5. “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”
  6. "I’m here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses.”
  7. "Is it possible to love too much?”
  8. “You’re the perfect height for me to rest my chin on your head.”
  9. "I don’t wanna get up– you’re comfy.”
  10. “I’m so in love with her/him, I don’t know what do do.”
  11. "I will always be there protect you.”
  12. "I’m cold. Come closer.”
  13. “You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”
  14. "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
  15. "I’ve never seen such gorgeous eyes before.”
  16. "I can’t stop thinking about you.”
  17. “You’re really hot, shame about the personality”
  18. "All I want is you.”
  19. “This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”
  20. “You came to my room at 4am, to cuddle?”
  21. "I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
  22. "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face.”
  23. "I don’t think anyone could ever be as lovely as you.”
  24. “You look really cute in that sweater.”
  25. "You look incredible in that.”
  26. “Is that my shirt?”
  27. “You’re so clingy, i love it.”
  28. “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”
  29. “Do you ever shut the fuck up?”
  30. "He/She’s quite stunning, isn’t he/she?”
  31. “Are you sugar personified or something?”
  32. “I look forward to holding you close in bed soon.”
  33. "Sometimes I just can’t control myself when around you.”
  34. "Do you believe in love at first sight?”
  35. "I think I’m in love.”
  36. "I’d like it if you stayed.”
  37. “You made these cupcakes for me?”
  38. “Have you lost your mind?”
  39. “You’re so fucking adorable.”
  40. “You’re my best friend’s sister, we can’t do this..”
  41. "People are jerks, but not you.”
  42. “All these new feelings are scaring me.”
  43. "I’ll share the blankets with you.”
  44. “I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.”
  45. "I have never felt this way about anyone.”
  46. “How do you always manage to look so captivating?”
  47. "I want this to never end…”
  48. “I’m a big girl, i can handle it myself.”
  49. “I can’t believe I got the first date, let alone a year.”
  50. “Can I kiss you?”
  51. “Don’t give me that puppy dog face.  How am I supposed to say no to that?”
  52. “So, are you guys dating or?”
  53. “There’s no way in hell i could fall in love with someone like you”
  54. "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks.”
  55. “Could you hold my hand?”
  56. “Have you seen my jacket?”
  57. “Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death.”
  58. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”
  59. “You can put your cold feet on me.”
  60. “You make me so happy.”
  61. “I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”
  62. “Your stray red item turned my whites pink.”
  63. “A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder so I’ll protect you.”
  64. “Did they hurt you?”
  65. “You’re hiding under the blanket because you’re blushing?
  66. “Your lips are really warm.”
  67. “I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on.”
  68. “That pet name was so gushy, but it was also so cute.”
  69. “I really love holding you, darling.”
  70. “You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar.”
  71. “My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on”
  72. “You look so comfy, and cuddle-able.”
  73. “We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches.”
  74. “IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH.”
  75. “I want you to fight for me!”
  76. “Please don’t go.”
  77. “You can call me whenever you want… Even if you don’t have a reason to.”
  78. “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”
  79. “Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”

I decided to make a prompt list cause I’ve always been anxious about getting a prompt I don’t know what to do with so I chose to grab them from other lists that I was comfortable with (originals: x  x  x )

~ Clara

13 Reasons Why Preference #1: Pets

a/n: let me know what you guys think; if you want me to continue doing preferences/who i should add!! i know this is shorter than my other writings but I wanted to get a feel for this first :)

Alex; Cat:

Originally posted by bullet-for-my-valentine09

“A cat? Alex, I never thought you’d be a cat person.”

“See, what I love about them is that they know when to be affectionate, and when to back off and take time for themselves. Also he looks like a mini tiger and I love that about her.”

“That awkward moment when your cat and you have the same personality.”

“Shut up, Y/N.”

Clay; Beta Fish:

Originally posted by 13reasonsvvhy

“Clay, you actually have the dorkiest pet in the whole world. It doesn’t do anything but swim in circles and eat.”

“Y/N, I’d like to remind you that I lost the baby doll we had to take care of for the Home Ec project within an hour, and you want me to be responsible for the life of something other than a fish?”

Justin; Snake:

Originally posted by rafaelasgomes

“juSTIN FOLEY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”

“What? I told you you were meeting my pet today, Y/N.”

“Justin, I thought I was meeting a dog because most normal people don’t name their pet snake Rover.”

“Whoops.”

Tony; Sugar Glider:

Originally posted by female-winston

“Tony….what…how…you know what? I don’t even want to know.”

Jeff; German Shepard-Husky:

Originally posted by wkom

“Jeffery Atkins oh my freaking god what is this?”

“He’s a Husky German Shepard mix.”

“Oh my god he’s adorable and I 10/10 am coming to your house without you like babe, I love you and all that but your dog is my new favorite Atkins.”

“Wow, Y/N, that hurts.”

“Love youuuuu. But you don’t have the sky trapped in your eyeballs so I think the dog wins this one.”

Monty; Guinea Pig:

Originally posted by montedelacruz

“Monty, babe….you know I think you’re the hottest, sexiest, most attractive personal alive, right?”

“Of course…but why do I feel like I’m not going to like what you say next?”

“…you know how they say that people look just like their pets?”

“Y/N, I’m going to stop you right there.”

Zach; Dachsund:

Originally posted by oliviagrey3

“Y/N, I’d like you to meet Bark Ruffalo.”

“Oh my god, Zach.”

“Do you know what happens in the summer?”

“If you say a stupid pun, Dempsey, we’re breaking up. So think, is it worth it?”

“….he becomes a really, really hot dog.”

New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ –or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

“And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”

anonymous asked:

do you have any favourite monster factory quotes??

This is good timing, because I’m about to start a series of gifs on MF quotes soon!

From the top of my head, in random order:

(Also, these are mostly from older episodes, I’m little behind on newer ones or saw some of them just once)

  • “Daddy like a pretty baby?”
  • “This is not a mean spirited show. It’s about taking things that are initially horrifying and finding the beauty within.”
  • “Don’t get your face blood on my new diesels.”
  • “I taste with my skin. How do you taste?”
  • “What’s up everybody? I think Dogs should vote!”
  • “Hello perverts.”
  • “If you make my nose this small I can’t smell your sins, daddy.”
  • “LOOK AT HIS GUMMY WORKS!!!”
  • Griffin’s “SCUUUUUUSI?”
  • “This is like the ending of Akira.”
  • “I gave you a task, I am your God. You chat with boys!”
  • “Cream faced - business boy”
  • “Ready to smash some meat together until we create some genuine wrestle boys?”
  • “This is not a house for boys”
  • “You can’t knock this boy with a pale of water.”
  • “Glide, my beautiful boy!”
  • “Pizza crime is eternal.”
  • “This is a crime and it’s punishable by crime.”
  • “No middle sliders.”
  • “Backpack for his applesauce.”
  • “It’s William Wright. I want to show you me beautiful spores!”
  • “I’m Bethany Esda. This is my indie game.”
  • “JACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!”
  • “OOOPS! OH NO! OH OH. OOPISE DAISY!”
  • “Put this one back in the oven!”
  • “A LITTLEEEEEEEEEE BOY!”
  • “Bikes have killed this entire family.”
  • “Why would you play an MMO if you didn’t want to trade vape secrets?”
  • “No rules, just right.”
  • “Post Joker-fication Allison Janney.”
  • “NOT TODAY MONSTER FACTORY BOYS!”
  • “It’s your favorite guy, ROACHIEEEEEE!”
  • “I take a hammer and fix the baby.”
  • “YOU REMEMBER HOW YOUR BARBECUE GO, THE SMITHS? PRETTY GOOD IT DOESN’T SEEM! NEXT TIME YOU INVITE PAM!”
  • “Hello, metal husband!”
  • “JUST LIKE BART!”
  • “Take it to the bank, boys.”
  • “IT"S SUCCOTASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
  • “The soul still burnsssssssssssssss.”

This is all I can remember right now…

+ the entirety of the “Every time they say “boy” on Monster Factory”
and pretty much the whole creation process of The Final Pam.

Inspired once again by @chuuyabelongswithhappiness​ ‘s mpreg fics. Like, seriously girl, your headcannon of Chuuya having TWINS is probably my favorite headcannon EVER. JUST IMAGINE HOW ADORABLE THAT SOUNDS. <3 And AGH I’m just in love with the names Mirai and Koufuku, but your explanations of them kinda make cry. Aaaagh, I didn’t like how this drawing ended that much but I hope you do ( 〃..)

I kinda only draw this kind of things so… ᕦ( ᐛ )ᕡ

Seriously, every time I see you upload a new fic I LITERALLY scream. I just can’t explain how much I ended up loving ALL of them. But you already know that… I just wanted to remind you <3

I really hope you’re having a good time because Chuuya belongs with happiness BUT SO DO YOU. Thank you for your amazing fics again. ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

you’re my werepuppy - Isaac Lahey one shot *fluff*

Original Request from nocomhbhronHey hey!! Love your blog dude :)
Anyway, I was wondering if you’d do a short of Isaac insisting that werewolves don’t like being scratched (like dogs; behind the ear, belly etc) but y/n scratches him while he’s sleeping and his leg starts going off 💕

Pairing: Isaac Lahey x reader

Rating: Teen for swearing


Originally posted by killsalthi

Originally posted by jkque

“[y/n], come get breakfast!” Derek voice blared, waking you up.

You dragged your sleepy form out of bed. After washing your face and brushing your teeth, you joined your pack, not bothering to change out of your pajamas. You entered the common area, seeing Scott and Liam watching cartoons on the couch, Lydia on an adjacent chair eating French toast and reading a thick novel. Stiles and Derek were at the stove, bickering about something while Stiles stirred pancake mix and Derek flipped.

You finally spotted your favorite werewolf, Isaac, who was sitting at the minibar, hunched over a plate of eggs and bacon. Of course he’d be alone, and of course he’d look adorable with his curly hair slightly in disarray and clad in plaid pajamas and a white cotton t-shirt. You always had a soft spot for Isaac, nothing explicitly romantic, but also not inappropriately maternal. Everyone just has ‘that person’ with whom they can share everything and feel safe, and he was your person. And as proven by your unplanned matching attire, you were kindred spirits.

“Morning, sunshine,” you greeted. Isaac’s face shot up, looking at you surprised. He recovered as he recognized it was you, his mouth stretching into a bright smile.

“Morning,” he chimed. “Someone’s finally up.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Well, someone had to stay up most of the night doing research because someone fell asleep, even though they promised they wouldn’t.” You lightly punched his arm.

Isaac ducked his head, a guilty grin taking form.

“Yeah… sorry about that. How do you make yourself stay up so late, anyway?”

You shrugged. “I guess I’m used to it. Tests and papers.”

Isaac playfully scoffed, mumbling something like “such a nerd.”

“What was that?” you piped. Isaac always teased you for being so invested in school, even though he secretly loved how smart you were.

“Nothing! I just said you looked really pretty today,” he shot you a thousand watt smile, leaning in closer to you.

You blushed, trying to mask your visceral reaction with a sarcastic laugh. You nudged him away with your elbow.

“Whatever, Lahey. Just eat your eggs.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mocked, resuming his breakfast.

Derek appeared in your line of vision, knowingly shaking his head at the two of you. Everyone kind of knew that you and Isaac were a duo, not really ~together~ but always together. You had a thing. They respected your unique relationship, occasionally making slides like “stop being gross” and “make out already.”

Derek slid a plate of pancakes in front of you.

“Having a good morning?” he asked, the mischievous glint in his eyes implying a double meaning. He eyed Isaac, then you.

“Really good,” you replied with a tight smile. “Almost as good as yours.”

You gestured towards Stiles, who was now attempting to flip a drippy pancake.

“Shit,” Derek muttered, retreating backwards. “Stiles, don’t touch that!”  

You giggled at their antics, scarfing down a mouthful of pancake. Looking back over at Isaac, a wave of adoration hit you. You observed his careful movements, delicately using a fork and knife to cut up his food. You always wondered if the reason why he was so cautious, so meticulous in his ways was because of his childhood, always afraid to make a mistake, afraid of his father.

Your body moved of its own volition, the urge to comfort him overtaking you. You weren’t sure how, but your hand somehow ended up in new territory behind his ear. You moved your fingers along his hairline, gently scratching the area.

“What are you doing?” Isaac asked, breaking your trance. Amusement and confusion lit his features.

“What?” you replied casually, continuing to move your fingers. After all, it wasn’t unusual for you to touch him affectionately, physical contact a huge component of your friendship.

“You’re… scratching behind my ear.”

“Yeah, so? Do you not like it?” You pulled back slowly, embarrassment burning your face.

“I don’t exactly mind it,” he began with a laugh. “But you know I’m not a dog, right?”  

You raised your eyebrow.

“Hey, come on,” he scoffed in feigned annoyance. “Werewolf. Werewolf,” he enunciated.

You giggled. “I know. I just thought it would feel nice—“

“Well, you thought wrong,” he cut you off. “Werewolves aren’t dogs, [y/n]. We don’t pee everywhere, we don’t like belly rubs, and we don’t. Like. Ear. Scratches,” he pouted adorably.

You put your hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. No more ear scratches,” you relented, but not before reaching up to ruffle his hair, laughing. Isaac merely groaned, hiding a smile in his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day had gone by smoothly. You were grateful, missing the aesthetic of a Lazy Sunday. The pack had decided to go out to dinner, leaving you and Isaac alone. You were both homebodies, preferring to stay in and relax.

You were sitting on the couch watching Pride and Prejudice, Isaac’s head resting in your lap. You absentmindedly stroked patterns into his arm until his body suddenly went limp, his breathing full and even.

He’d fallen asleep. Again.

Okay, you actually sympathized this time. Isaac thought Jane Austen was boring, but it was your turn to pick the movie, and you’d begged him for weeks to watch it with you. He had finally agreed before falling asleep twenty minutes into the film. You sighed, moving your hand away to avoid disturbing him.

But an idea suddenly hit you, recalling back to this morning when Isaac had said that werewolves didn’t like being scratched behind the ear. You thought back to all the times when you were a kid and your dog Molly had fallen asleep curled up beside you. Whenever you scratched her behind her ear, she would always whine softly and nuzzle closer to you in contentment.  

With Molly as inspiration, you slowly placed your fingers behind Isaac’s ear, gently caressing at first. When he didn’t stir, you nudged a little harder, running your fingernails against the exposed skin.

You froze when Isaac shifted, curving his body slightly inward. An almost imperceptible “hmm” broke through the silence as he burrowed his face into your lap. You took that as encouragement.

Still scratching, you used your thumb to graze the shell of his ear, stimulating more of the area. You passively noted how soft his earlobes were.

And that’s when it happened. Isaac’s leg twitched.

You gasped. Had you done it? Had you just proven Isaac wrong about werewolves? Victory was on your mind. Your best friend was literally an overgrown puppy in denial.

You maintained your controlled pace, not straying too long in one area, giving attention to different sections of his skin. You tried to stifle your laughter as Isaac’s leg started going off. You covered your mouth with your hand, the other still stroking him.

Behind you, the front door opened and the pack filed in, their voices and footsteps filling the air.

“Shhh, guys,” you whispered, turning around with a finger to your lips. They all turned towards you, approaching you in the living room.

“What’s up?” Scott said. They all stood in a circle, looking down at you and Isaac.

“Look,” you instructed. They watched silently. You resumed scratching Isaac behind his ear, and on cue, he started kicking his leg.

Stiles’ snort broke through the air as he buried his face into Derek’s shoulder, who was smirking and shaking his head. Liam broke into giggles. Scott hid his smile behind a fist. Lydia placed her hand over her heart, mouthing “so cute.”

Her support quickly turned devious as she pulled out her phone to take a video. The rest of the pack was now doubled over.

“This is so great,” Scott huffed through his mirth.

“This is fucking hilarious. I know what I’m doing tonight.” Stiles informed, a little too loudly. He put his hand on Derek’s shoulder.

Derek glared at him. This created another uproar of giggles.

“Guys, stop,” you warned through fits of laughter. “He’ll wake up!”

And he did.

You looked down when you felt Isaac maneuver in your lap. He looked up at you with wide, confused eyes. You removed your hand discreetly, smiling down at him.

“Heeey,” you welcomed cheerily.

Isaac opened his mouth to respond before he sat up and noticed the roomful of people observing him. The pack recomposed, panting and wiping their eyes, their faces too red and their smiles too wide.

“What?” Isaac asked, his brows furrowed. He looked around, then back to you. “What did I miss?”

You sucked in through your nose, looking down at your lap.

“Umm, well—“

“This.” Lydia sat down beside Isaac and handed him her phone. Crap.

Isaac hesitantly took the object and played the video. You waited for his reaction as you saw his eyes go wide in the screen’s reflection. After a few seconds, he hung his head, planting his face into his palms. “Fuck me.”

The pack broke character again, hunching over in guffaw.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Stiles taunted. “Even though Liam’s the youngest, I guess you’re the real runt of the litter.”

“Shut up,” Lydia protested, grinning. “I think it’s cute.”

“Alright children, let’s call it a night,” Derek ordered, smiling at you. “This was great, [y/n]. Made my night.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Scott approved. You noticed Isaac looking at you from the corner of his eye, his jaw locked. Scott walked towards Isaac and ruffled his hair fondly, from which Isaac reeled back, face tinted bright pink. “You’re the cutest beta there ever was.”

“I hate all of you,” Isaac deadpanned, sitting back with his arms crossed over his chest.

“We love you, too!” Liam called out en route to his bedroom.

Once everyone had left, you stood up, yawning and stretching your arms over your head. You looked down at Isaac, noticing his staring at your exposed midriff, and immediately placed your arms back down. He looked away rapidly. You stood in front of him.

“Well, I hate to say I told you so…”

Isaac glared at you.

“Was that really necessary?” Isaac mumbled.

“A little bit?” you squeaked. His jaw dropped at your admission. “You just kept denying the ear thing! And in my defense, I didn’t know that everyone would come back all at once like that.”

“Yeah, sure you didn’t,” he jeered. “Now Lydia has a video!”

“So? It’s not like she’ll do anything with it,” you defended. “And for the record, I agree with her.”

“Agree with what?” he muttered looking down, fiddling with his thumbs in his lap. You took a step towards him, your knees touching his.

“That you’re cute,” you spoke softly. He looked up at you, mouth parted. You inhaled at his bewildered expression. “Really, really cute.”

“Really?” he whispered. You bit your lip and nodded. Isaac’s mouth formed an ‘o.’

You regarded him with reverence. His face looked so soft from the warm light of the fireplace. You reached down and ran your fingers through his hair, soothing his awe, using your other hand to cup gently under his jaw.

“Let’s just go to bed, okay?” you cooed. He nodded into your palm. You released him as he slowly stood up, eventually towering over you. You were standing a hair width apart, his breath fanning over your forehead.

He lifted one large hand, moving the hair away from your shoulder. He leaned over to confess into your ear.

“I really did like it… the whole time.”

“I know,” you breathed against his shoulder.

Isaac chuckled.

“I guess I really am a dog.”

“Nah, you’re more like a hybrid,” you responded thoughtfully. He cocked his head to the side, silently questioning you. You chucked at his perplexity before concluding.

“You’re my werepuppy.”


A/N: Hey, guys. Can I just say I had the most fun writing this? Thanks so much to nocomhbhron for requesting it! You are my first official request. And you are grand. Hope you and everyone else likes this! :) 

anonymous asked:

"Hello 911 what's your emergency" Viktor after the banquet: "hello yes I had sex with a man way more attractive than me? If I hunt him down and tell him I'm his new coach do you think he'll let me have his kids?" Operator: "sir this isn't an emergency" Viktor: "yes it is! Do you know how to fly dogs without a passport? Or will I need a passport for him too?" Operator: "sir I'm hanging up now" Viktor: "fine be like that I'll just call again"

“911 whats your emergency”
“I JUST GOT ENGAGED WITH THE MAN I HAD SEX WITH LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO”
“is this the same person who-“
“YES!!!! OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT I AM SO BLESSED- did u hang up on me”

follow spree.

Ya boi don’t do these a lot, in fact, to be honest, I’m certain that I have done it once before. After cleaning my follow list and discovering that a lot of blogs I followed are inactive with a lot of old content, I’ve realised how empty my dash could be with them gone, so I’m only seeing minimal content that I actually want to see. ♥

Just like or reblog if you post any of the following, and I’ll totally check out your blog!

  • BNHA
  • Pokemon
  • Beyblade (any series but heart eyes if it’s the original)
  • Animal Crossing
  • Aesthetics
  • Animals
  • me: *minding my own business as i walk my dog with my mom*
  • unnamed white lady: *crosses the street towards us, clearly checking out milo's junk and the pink collar he’s wearing as she approaches*
  • unnamed white lady: *shoves hands in milo's face without asking permission* "what is this handsome BOY dog doing wearing pink?"
  • me, a person with very little chill: *gasp in surprise, laying hand over heart dramatically* "is he really a boy? oh gosh, i'm so sorry, i totally thought he was a girl! i'm kind of new at this whole owning a dog thing! how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?"
  • mom: *dies laughing*

anonymous asked:

(1/2) so i have a bit of a dilemma rn and id like some advice. theres a group of ~4 new witches who do NOT like me. 2 are old friends, one is an abusive ex, and the other is a pushover. anyway, theyre all getting together tonight and im about 80% sure that theyre going to try to curse me. what scares me is that they dont really understand how to control things, and with that amount of people im afraid theyre going to hurt someone else and not me (like my mother or my dog). i was wondering what


(2/2) you would suggest i do? i have no qualms about cursing, and im ready to pile on as many protection spells and sigils that i can. i just thought i would ask for advice or any resources you would recommend, and how to protect my family and friends if the group’s curse backfires


Hello Darling! You seem to be in an amazingly unfortunate position… But do not worry, I’m here to help! First of all, fuck those assholes. Second of all, here’s everything you can do to show these fuckers not to fuck with you.

Begin by cleansing yourself:

A cleansing bath by @magic-for-the-masses

An incantation for adding a cleansing boost to anything (Do this while pouring the bath ;) by @wicked-fae

A tea to sip whilst in the bath by @honeycoyote

A good guide to cleansing yourself by @thiscrookedcrown

You can also cleanse your home, but I don’t think it’ll be very necessary as long as the curse isn’t cast.

Bind your oppresors:

A spell to suppress, bind, stop, and crush by yours truly (moi)

A kraken’s tentacles binding spell by @salt-like-wine

After binding them, I’d cleanse your space with sage or palo santo, something really simple, just to get the icky energy moving.

Protect yourself and your home:

Fiery wall of protection powder by @opencircle333

Black salt by @rhiannonchristine

Juniper berry protection candle by @the-darkest-of-lights

Apple protection spell by @whitekitchenwitch

Briar rose protection enchantment by @lavenderspells

A personal protection chant by @meskri

An awesome crab alarm spell by @salt-like-wine

I’d first start by making the fiery wall of protection powder and the black salt and mixing them together. Sprinkle this mix around your house to create a perimeter of protection. The crab alarm spell should be cast then. After that I’d start the briar rose enchantment and while that’s brewing I’d cast the apple spell. Then, I’d light the juniper candle for as long as you think you’re in danger. If you feel like your wards are weakening I’d start chanting the personal protection chant.

After all that shit, empower yourself:

An empowerment bottle spell by @earthiebee

This should give you the little boost of power you need to not be completely dead inside at this point. Also, coffee.

If after all that the curse still goes through (which it honestly shouldn’t be able to), here are ways to get rid of a curse:

Black as night curse removal body scrub by @oldmotherredcap

An easy Calcifer curse reversal spell by @thatemeraldkid

Simple curse destruction spell by @witchcraftings

I’d start by casting the calcifer spell first, and then sip the coffee involved while you make the body scrub, and then cast the simple curse destruction spell. Then take a shower and scrub yourself with the curse removal scrub.

And if you’re a little evil, turn the curse back onto the idiots who dare mess with your pristine self:

Blackthorn reversing spell by @thiscrookedcrown

To counter a curse the traditional way by @phoenix-fire-witchcraft

Drown the witch reversal by @thelifeinliminal

You can really use any one of these and they’d work great.

Now go show these asshats that they shouldn’t have messed with you!!

Love,

Mahigan

It's Time We Take the Next Step

 Hello, Love bugs! 

Dan X Reader

Warnings- Fluff and swears because of Dan amirite?

I used my dog as a reference to this fic. His name is Scooter. He happens to be the little love of my life. He is as described in the fic for looks.The only different is that he is 14 turning 15 in April. I made a gif of him.

Hello, love bugs !! Dan x reader Hi so can you make a Dan x reader and in the fic the reader and Dan adopt a dog? And can you possibly have some fluff in it? Thanks!-anonymous.


“Dan, do you know what today is ?” You’re practically jumping up and down on the bed with excitement. You have been waiting for this day for months and it was finally here. 

“Is it the day you finally let me sleep in on a Thursday? If not then I’m not currently interested.” Dan rolls over to face away from you. It was already 9:30 am he had plenty time to sleep.

“Daniel Howell we can sleep when were dead today is the day! Today is the day we make a huge step in our relationship. We’re becoming parents today.

Keep reading

NCT as random text messages between 2 idiots #2

felt like doing a part 2 of this (*find the first one here*)

did it

youre welcome :))

(no one asked tho—sHH)

~Admin Moo


Taeil:

“*casually singing ‘might just die’*”

Originally posted by nctinfo


Johnny:

“Language skills boih, SUBA A BORDO!”

Originally posted by nakamotens


Taeyong:

“I love it”

“but at the same time”

“I want to cry”

Originally posted by bb-marklee


Yuta:

“What a sad turn of events lol”

Originally posted by nctinfo


Doyoung:

“I feel like a proud mother” (this gif makes me want to cry btw pls help)

Originally posted by dimplesjae


Ten:

“here are my goggles i like to swim ((((:”

Originally posted by taeyonggi


Jaehyun:

“WHAT DID THE WORLD DO TO DESERVE HIS FACE?!” (im so thirsty for jaehyun sry)

Originally posted by 14jae


Winwin:

“MOI! MORAHEINEN KANAA, KIITOS!”

Originally posted by seungkwansthighs


Mark:

“Just squeeze it in where it fits” *SM squeezing mark into literally every unit comeback and collab in existence–*

Originally posted by callmeminseok


Renjun:

“That little sausage… ill f*ck em up”

Originally posted by nakamotens


Jeno:

“That makes sense (???)”

Originally posted by na-jmin


Haechan:

“Are you gonna use ™ all the time now or-”

“Yes? Is there a problem™ with that?”

Originally posted by haecha


Jaemin:

“so fab”

“so fly”

“$wag”

Originally posted by mkayjaemin


Chenle:

*sends picture of someone elses dog*

“my new dog yay :)”

Originally posted by chenle-mom


Jisung:

“Ok bye”

“is that how you say goodbye to ME?”

“oh sorry”

“kthxbye*“

Originally posted by starnightingle


Image talking to Barry about his weekend


You walk into Star Labs with an extra bounce in your step and everyone has noticed this. “Um not that I’m mad at you for being happy but why are you sooo happy?” Cisco says rasing an eyebrow. You reply with a big smile on your face and say, “Me and a few close friends had the BEST weekend ever. Like I can’t even explain how much fun it was.” Catlin says “I went to the park and played with dogs so my weekend was great.” “Um I was working on a new little project but you’ll see that later.” Cisco says. “What about you Barry? What did the Mr.Flash do this weekend?” You ask in wonder. Barry laughs a bit and just says, “My social life consists of running at super human speed and Netflix.” You laugh a little and make a decision. “Well were going to change that. This Saturday you are all invited to my place at 7 for a the weekend of your life!”

Bad Girlfriend (Shawn Mendes)

Hey loves, here’s my new imagine.

Feel free to send requests!

Summary: Y/N forgot that Shawn is allergic to dogs and brought one home.

Disclaimer: lynx is any of the four species within the Lynx genus of medium-sized wild cats.

Enjoy!

Originally posted by griersnash


„Stupid stupid stupid“ I kept murmuring while looking at the cute husky in front of me. „Shawn is going to kill both of us“ I sighed. How could I forgot that Shawn is allergic to dogs?

*Few hours earlier*

‚Hey Tara, where‘s the animals shelter you‘re working in?‘ I texted my friend while humming to Shawn‘s music on the radio. Because Shawn is in the studio again and I have nothing to do I decided to visit my friend Tara.

**

„Tara, your friend is here“ Tara‘s coworker yelled. Soon I felt Tara‘s hands around my body. „You‘re finally here¡ I missed you!“ „I missed you too“ I yelled while hugging her. „Weirdos“ the same guy said in a boring tone. „Go fuck yourself, Jeremy“ Tara flipped him. „Wanna go and help me?“ I quickly squealed clapping my hands. Tara always knew I loved animals. When we were little we would always go to shelters and play with animals sometimes we would take some of them to our house too. My house was like a tiny zoo. I loved it. Soon I was surrounded by loads of cuties. AKA doggies. I started playing with all of them. THEY‘RE SO SO FLUFFY AND FREAKING CUTE. I CAN‘T. My gaze landed on the most beautiful dog I have ever seen. He was in the corner playing with his toy. „I‘ll take him“ I told Tara. „Who?“ she asked looking at me confused. „That husky“I pointed to that dog.

**

„How do you like your new home, Nasa?“ I asked my new dog. I quickly put him down when I heard my phone ringing. Without checking who‘s calling I quickly  picked up the phone „Hey princess“ Smile appeared on my face when I heard Shawn‘s cozy voice on the other end. But soon it vanished when my gaze fell on Nasa. „Shit“ I murmured without thinking.“What? Did something happen?“ Shawn asked panicking. „Oh no no, how are you?“ I asked nervously. „You sure? You sound nervous. Oh I‘m good, just wanted to say that I‘ll be stuck in the studio for longer than I thought“ I sighed and smiled „Oh okay“ I answered happily. „Why are you so happy about it? I though you were going to be sad“ Shawn asked laughing „Of course I‘m sad. But now I‘ll be able to cook your favorite“ „That‘s nice. Love you“ „Love you too“ soon as the call ended I looked at my dog. I‘m fucked.

**

„Stay in here, okay?“ I‘ll come later today. You have your toys here, bed, where to pee. It‘s like your kingdom, be a good boy for momma“ I petted Nasa and shut the door when I heard Shawn‘s voice downstairs „Hey baby“ I smiled walking down the stairs „Hey princess“ Shawn hugged me tightly and pecked my lips. „So what‘s for dinner?“ Shawn winked. Oh god I totally forgot about his favorite meal. „Chinese?“ I weakly smiled with rosy cheeks. I was damn ashamed of myself. Shawn pulled me into his arms „I still love you“ „Really?“ „Rea..“ his sneeze cut off his sentence. Here we go.

**

Another sneeze. And another. Shawn‘s face was swollen and I was the only knew the reason behind it.

Sneeze. „I‘m such a bad girlfriend. Oh my god“ I murmured under my breath. „What did you say?“ Shawn asked with runny nose. „That I‘m a bad girlfriend“ I answered while Shawn looked at me confused. „Because you forgot to cook my favorite meal that doesn‘t mean that you‘re a bad girlfriend“ „There‘s more than that“ I looked sadly at him. „You didn‘t sleep with someone else?“ Shawn asked carefully with fear in his eyes. „Oh god no“ Shawn relaxed „that‘s not it either“ I quickly said. „Just wait here“ I said and went to take Nasa. „I totally forgot that you‘re allergic to dogs and I rbought one“ I said with Nasa in my arms. Soon Shawn kissed Nasa. „What are you doing Shawn?“ I screamed pulling Nasa away from him. „What? I love dogs“ „Yes I know, but you‘re allergic“ I looked at him weirdly.

**

„Are you sad that we took Nasa away?“ Shawn asked me. Of course it may looked like this. Sad music was playing in the backround while I was scrolling my camera roll with photos of Nasa I have taken today. „No I‘m not. I just feel lonely“ „You have me“ Shawn pulled me closer to him. „I know“ I said smiling. „You know I read that people pet lynx at their home“ „We‘re not getting lynx, Y/N“ „Okay“ I said sadly.

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for the RFA with an MC who has lots dogs and cats? Too many really. Stop collecting animals MC you don't need anymore, just. Put the cat down. Please.

I tried writing saeyoung differently as to how I think he is in the after ends

YOOSUNG :
-HES A BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT
-he has no room
-or money
-tho he loves them so much
-bUT HE CANT TAKE CARE OF THEM
-as long as mc is able to take care of them then he is fine with it
-and he really really really loves them
saeyoung :
-L O V E S T H E M
-so yeah he is a “cat person”
-he still loves ur dogs
-aND HE WILL HAPPILY JOIN U WITH COLLECTING ANIMALS
-he knows his limits though
-and has to warn u that u really only can take care of a certain amount of animals
JAEHEE :
-F U R
- F U R
-MC THE FUR
-THIS POOR BABE
-PLZ DONT DO THIS TO HER
-she cannot handle the fur for her life
-she is extremely happy that you love them BUT THAT
-GOD DAMN
-FUR
-but it isn’t like she bans them completely
-or forces them to clean up everything
-but she will get a little stressed when it comes to helping care for them
ZEN :
-not cats
-dont do that to zen
-he is okay with dogs but his apartment isn’t that big
-he also ya know lives in an apartment
-there is a limit to how many pets you can have and how big they can be
-he actually loves when ur dogs will lay down on him when he’s laying on the couch reading a script or something
-zen laying reading his script on the couch as like a full grown akita just lays down on top of him is my new aesthetic omg protect
JUMIN:
-but what about elizabeth 3rd, MC?
- is she not enough?
-he really likes that you have such a passion for these animals
-he will support you
-but his elizabeth will always be the number one priority

Prank wars?

A/N: sooooooooo i was bored watching the twins’ videos and i decided hey why not make an imagine based off of the video where Grayson ties Ethan up in a tree and scared him with a clown mask and i kinda wanna turn this into something like different prank imagines in one category idk you’ll understand as i go on. so enjoy @stydiascreams

warning: light cursing

Originally posted by dolanslife

You were facetiming Grayson while he was in New Jersey since you were still in LA for school and he was telling you how he was pranked by Ethan and wanted to get him back but he didn’t know what to do. “Come on babe, you’re great at pranking help me out a bit.” You sighed softly flipping a page in your textbook “Gray you know I’d love to but I’m studying and I just can’t get this chapter to stick in my brain, can you wait like 15 minutes?” You stuck your bottom lip out giving him the puppy dog eyes which caused him to smile and nod “Yes I can wait baby.” You smiled wide and thanked him. You went back to studying you stuck your tongue out concentrating on the page you’re reading he chuckled and looked at you “You’re adorable babe.” You smiled and closed your textbook. “I’m all yours baby” He smiled and looked back at you “Help me prank Ethan” He whined you giggled thinking a bit “Is he still afraid of clowns?” Gray nodded and looked around for Ethan “Yes, why?” You smirked and looked up “Uh Gray I gotta go, can I talk to you later?” He raised an eyebrow and nodded “Um sure, I love you babe.” You stood up putting on your jacket “Yeah love you too baby.” You hung up as you walked out of your room. “That was weird.” Grayson mumbled to himself “What was weird?” He looked up watching Ethan grab a water “Y/N, she rushed off the phone and before that she looked up like someone was there. E, is she cheating on me?“ Ethan’s head snapped in his direction “Y/N? Are we talking about the same person, bro she would never do that. One time she got upset when you didn’t text her back when you went and got the mail.” Grayson ran his hand through his hair. “You’re right bro, she wouldn’t do that. When’s cam coming?” Ethan thought for a second “Uh tomorrow I think”Grayson picked up his phone dialing Cameron’s number “Maybe I can get Cam to go check on Y/N or call her to see where she is.” Grayson put the phone to his ear waiting on her to answer. You and Cameron decided to get lunch before your flight when all of a sudden Grayson’s name pops up on her phone she looks up at me “Should I answer it?” You nodded and sat back “But don’t tell him you’re with me, or that I’m coming with you because I want to surprise him.” She nodded and answered her phone putting it on speaker “Whats up bro?” She beamed you heard him sigh he really sounded stressed maybe you should’ve eased into leaving earlier instead of rushing. “Cam, can you go check on Y/N she left in kind of a hurry and I think someone was with her.” Cameron looked and nodded “Yeah i’ll go check on her now and call you back when I get there.” You bit the inside of your cheek packing up your food Cameron hung up the phone packing up her food as well “Well, time to go back to your apartment for a few minutes to make sure you’re okay then to Jersey we go” You stood up getting back in her car buckling up. “I don’t even know how he’s going to react, hopefully he’ll be excited” You smiled watching Cameron drive finally the two of you reached your apartment “You go inside and I’ll facetime Gray as I knock on the door just say something that makes sense. I don’t know.” She knocked on the door calling Grayson you waited until you heard her say hello. You smiled and answered the door “Hey Cam whats up?” She tried her best not to smile “Gray wanted me to check on you, he said you left in a hurry.” You nodded and held up food “My food was here and the guy was impatient I would’ve taken my phone with me but my phone was dying. Maybe I should call Gray and explain” You pulled your phone out of your pocket “I’m on the phone with him right now.” She turned the phone around showing your smiling boyfriend “Why didn’t you tell me, it’s food babe.” You shrugged checked the time on your phone. “I have to go, I have some studying to do and a essay due in the morning. I’ll text you later Gray.” The two of your said your goodbyes, Cameron hung up the phone and looked at you “Lets go get on that flight.” You smiled and picked up your bag locking the door behind you.

-Time skip-

The plane ride felt so long you decided to turn your phone off for the flight when you finally turned it back on you had almost 20 texts from Grayson, 9 missed calls even some texts from Ethan I texted Ethan back telling him everything hoping that Gray wasn’t near or had his phone in any way “Alright, I’m gonna record it you’re going to knock on our door Ethan is gonna make sure Gray answers the door you’re just gonna come up with some random question and yeah. basically just wing it.” You nodded and knocked on the door taking a deep breath as Grayson opened the door you looked down the street then back at him “Hi, I’m looking for my boyfriend have you seen him?” He smiled wide pulling you into a hug “Every time I look in the mirror.” He kissed your cheek looking at you “You couldn’t tell me you were coming?” You shook your head “That would ruin the surprise, don’t you think?” He shrugged and pulled back from you “Wait so who was really there when we you rushed off the phone?” You looked back at him and pointed behind you “Cam. We’ve been planning this since you left she wouldn’t take no for an answer and the last no i gave her she showed me she already bought the ticket and it was nonrefundable so I really didn’t want her money to go to waste so I’m here.” He picked up yours and Cameron’s bags walking inside “But don’t you have an essay due tomorrow morning?” You sighed and turned to the side showing him your backpack “I do, which is why I brought my books unfortunately.” He hugged you once more “I’m so glad you’re here, now you can help me prank Ethan” You smirked and showed him a little bit of the clown mask. He smiled and took your bag to his room “Lets get ready.” As Grayson was setting everything up you distracted Ethan by taking him to go get pizza with Cameron. “Y/N thank god you’re here, Gray would not stop talking about you. Why didn’t Gray come again?” You smiled and ate another bite of your pizza “I made him do my homework.” He chuckled and checked the time “Oh Gray texted, we gotta take some pics for channel art you guys ready to head back?” You all nodded and walked back to the car driving back you turned on the radio and started jamming. You pulled up putting the car in park Ethan got out the car you and Cameron stayed in the car talking about how its going to happen. 20 minutes go by and you and Cameron finally got out the car walking in the house Grayson is walking around the kitchen talking to the camera “Oh Cam, Y/N come here.” The two of you walked over to him standing beside him “These two lovely ladies helped with the prank so thank you guys, lets go prank Ethan.” He went out back outside taking some “pictures” with Ethan when suddenly Ethan was scooped up in the net screaming and asking whats going on. “Well bro, you’re sleeping out here.” Gray said as he swung Ethan a bit. “I’m gonna chew through this before I sleep out here.” Grayson looked at Ethan and smirked at the camera “And I’m gonna go eat some pizza.” He smirked walking away. He got in the car and drove around by the woods he hopped out running through to the other side where Ethan was. “Hello camera Grayson set you up here.” He looked around and noticed Grayson creeping up to him “What is that” He started jumping around in the net “Grayson? Grayson! I’m gonna punch you in the face!” he kept screaming and jumping around. He calmed down a bit when Grayson started backing away but Grayson came running up cutting the top of the net letting Ethan fall He ran but stopped when he heard Grayson laughing. Ethan ran back tackling Grayson into the tree Ethan kneeled beside Grayson panting “I knew that was Grayson, but if it wasn’t Grayson I had to be ready for anything.” You walked back inside with Cameron as the boys did their outro you sat on the counter talking to Cameron “So do you think you and Gray will ever you know get married?” You giggled and nodded “Of course, every girl dreams of marrying their soulmate.” You smiled looking at Grayson as he walked over to you wrapping his arms around your waist “And he’s my soulmate.” 


masterlist

ALLELUIA! THE DEVIL’S CARNIVAL
SOUNDTRACK-BASED SENTENCE STARTERS;

  • ❝ Pry the belly, hook and nail. ❞
  • ❝ Break the lion, catch his tail. ❞
  • ❝ Heave on, heave on. ❞
  • ❝ With each crumb that’s offered, another mouth springs. ❞
  • ❝ All aboard, all aboard, Noah said all aboard! ❞
  • ❝ It’s coming back a craze for every doe and stag. ❞
  • ❝ Come on, what a fad, oh, what a major zoo! ❞
  • ❝ They turned the old town crankers to a gospel swing! ❞
  • ❝ Shall we show them how it’s done, ladies? ❞
  • ❝ Oh, what a timeless bash! ❞
  • ❝ Days of ours and thine are only by design. ❞
  • ❝ Every turn is lief to the grand motif. ❞
  • ❝ How will you dress for the party? ❞
  • ❝ There’s a serving cap and a pail and a post to call if you earn your place at the ball. ❞
  • ❝ Once there was a time you needed transcripts, in triplicates and duplicates to log. ❞
  • ❝ But now we have machines to write the talking; the days of breaking hands with words are gone. ❞
  • ❝ A needle traces every errant tone. ❞
  • ❝ Bolt your words and measure your intention. ❞
  • ❝ See how we dictate of you, translate for you. ❞
  • ❝ I’m just a fool in love, but I’d be a fool not to be. ❞
  • ❝ I’ve danced and I’ve swayed up a cloud serenade. ❞
  • ❝ All the stars dance and sing as I pluck at the strings. ❞
  • ❝ Strike the wrong chords, the ones we can’t dance on. ❞
  • ❝ Surrender yourself, doll, get down on your knees. ❞
  • ❝ Let’s open the flappers and rumble the keys! ❞
  • ❝ Am I low enough yet, daddy? ❞
  • ❝ Well, alright, gimme two alleluias and an amen! ❞
  • ❝ Loosen the collar right up to the scruff. ❞
  • ❝ The hour belongs to the Watchword. ❞
  • ❝ He peers through peepholes, counting sheep. ❞
  • ❝ Restless ears should hit the sack for he holds service on nude backs, and pictures you in white or black. ❞
  • ❝ It all began with a dame. ❞
  • ❝ Make of me thy subject Lord, placed according to thy word. ❞
  • ❝ In hell they’re watching late, sniffing out thy truth and straight. ❞
  • ❝ For words of song and hymn that chirp devotion by thy whim. ❞
  • ❝ Aren’t we a darling, aren’t we a tell? ❞
  • ❝ Fair, fair, have us a game! ❞
  • ❝ Under our bruises, don’t we look the same? ❞
  • ❝ Truce, truce, let’s make a vow. ❞
  • ❝ Who are you keeping, and who are we now? ❞
  • ❝ Bang, bang, give us a prayer! ❞
  • ❝ Who is the drifter that sits in your chair? ❞
  • ❝ Under which shell will your charm come to pair? ❞
  • ❝ My, my, aren’t we a hiss! ❞
  • ❝ Why not take your chances and play for the miss? ❞
  • ❝ Look at us, friend, when we share in the bliss. ❞
  • ❝ Where is our Heaven hiding? ❞
  • ❝ Where is your Heaven now? ❞
  • ❝ A gentleman prefers to break from airs and fetters; to roll off his sleeves and liberate the beast. ❞
  • ❝ Suck in through the teeth and bare a hungry grin. ❞
  • ❝ Show a little class! ❞
  • ❝ Let us swing with both fists as we writhe in the blood. ❞
  • ❝ Sinners one, sinners all, it’s always prettiest after the fall. ❞
  • ❝ They beg for a good old song like a dog for crust. ❞
  • ❝ Oh, please, won’tcha, master, turn back the page? ❞
  • ❝ Now what do you think, children – do you think they deserved shine and wage? ❞
  • ❝ After the fall, I lifted my winds out of mercy. ❞
  • ❝ The country dogs lacked common sense. ❞
  • ❝ How is my heart so forgiving? ❞
  • ❝ My kindness could swallow you whole! ❞
  • ❝ Weep, weep, weep, we’ll survive. ❞
  • ❝ But a lady sits heart and legs crossed, as tight-lipped as a mouse. ❞
  • ❝ Though I found when I lift my legs, my hooves bring down the house. ❞
  • ❝ Some girls fall for fables, some fall just for kicks. ❞
  • ❝ Let’s teach a dog new tricks. ❞
  • ❝ To the hound, a round of hell on the Devil’s carousel! ❞
  • ❝ It’s so easy and breezy when the music starts. ❞
  • ❝ To the beat, I owe my soul to face the music, how great a toll. ❞
  • ❝ I’m dancing to the tune of songs of old. ❞
  • ❝ I’m faithful to the format. ❞
  • ❝ What a juke; easy to follow like a salted pill, so easy to swallow. ❞
  • ❝ I tremble like a treble as the music starts. ❞
  • ❝ Strike the band, and I’ll start shaking. ❞
  • ❝ Crank the dial ‘til my souls a-breaking! ❞
  • ❝ All children of Heaven sing alleluia! ❞
  • ❝ Lace my vest and mend my soul. ❞
  • ❝ Spread and draw me to thy seams. ❞
  • ❝ All good children never fall. ❞
  • ❝ Alleluia, alleluia, always, always alleluia. ❞