how do you even

  • Ryan’s arms
  • Ryan in tighter fitting shirts
  • Ryan’s adorable faces during the tossing of the Tower of Pimps
  • Ryan’s ‘oh ew’ after they threw bananas on his desk
  • Ryan chasing after Gavin
  • Ryan almost tripping
  • Ryan trying to beat Gavin with a banana
  • James Ryan Haywood being so adorable it’s slowly killing me
Caleb who?

I’m unable to process the fact that some of you are willing to throw away the “We’re taking care of him”, “He’s staying with me”, “He’s fucking family”, “I’m worried about you. I love you”, “His partner. Lover? Family”, “Get the fuck off of him”, “Thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit”, the coming out, the protection, the fighting, the shit they’ve been through just to be with each other, the care, concern, love, devotion, sacrifice, forgiveness, will, the love, the love, the love… for a person who is 3 episodes in and is already Ian’s new love interest and supposedly so much ‘better’ for him but doesn’t even know he’s bipolar? Just tell me, how?

How to tell that it's getting bad again:

- I sleep to much or not at all
-I eat too much or too little
-I sound disinterested in everything
-Be spaced out a lot
- I will ramble a lot or not talk at all
-I lose track of time
- I make cynical comments, usually about myself
-I push people away
-I tend to rub my eyes and head a lot
-I avoid eye contact
-I am always shakey
-I will avoid certain conversations