how do you even work there you bastard

Sur...prise?

A couple of minutes ago John emerged in his fluffy bathrobe and a cloud of steam from the bathroom, the lucky bastard. I would look that relaxed, too if I had just spend over two hours pampering myself.

Sherlock is just sitting here, looking all innocent with a book in his hands.

Originally posted by xthismeanswar

How long do you think, that is going to work, buddy? Sooner or later John will look in that fridge.

Speak of the devil, here he comes now, freshly changed, down from his room.

J: You hungry?

S: No.

J: I’m starving.

I guess it will be sooner rather than later then. Sherlock doesn’t even have the decency to look alarmed at that.

Here goes nothing.

Originally posted by sherlockbbcgifs

J: There is a HEAD…in the fridge.

S: Hm.

He is still clinging to the doorhandle, head bowed down and shoulders slumped. Sherlock hasn’t even looked up from the book he is reading.

J: Why is there a head in the fridge?

S: Because our room temperature is far too high to get conclusive results in my experiment.

J: That’s not what I…nevermind. How did it even get here? WHEN did it get here?

S: Oh, Molly dropped it off while you were in the bathroom.

The knuckles of John’s hand are almost white now. He finally let’s go of the fridge and turns around. Oh, he is glaring. This is not good. Sherlock, now would be an excellent time to start paying attention.

J: And you didn’t think about asking me first?

That got Sherlock’s attention. He looks almost affronted by that suggestion.

S: Ask you?

J: Or, I don’t know, at least WARN me?

S: You were in the tub.

J: Not the bloody point here, Sherlock!

I guess the recreational effects off the bath have worn of a lot quicker, than expected. Sherlock seems to be a bit taken aback by that outburst as well.

S: You are angry.

J: Of course I am flipping angry! There is a human head in our fridge! I am not eating anything that was within half a metre of that.

S: Oh, don’t be ridicu…

J: Nope! Not happening!

Sherlock does look somewhat sheepish now.

S: We could order take-out?

With a bone-weary sigh John falls into his chair. He drops his head against the headrest and drags a hand over his face.

J: No, we can’t. It’s Valentine’s Day, remember? Your favourite holiday? Everyone who wasn’t able to snag a table at a restaurant is ordering in. It would take hours.

A few seconds tick by in uncomfortable silence. Oh, Sherlock. how did you think this was going to turn out? He has visibly shrunken in his seat and his biting his lip. Doesn’t even dare to look at John anymore. Sometimes I really…

S: We could go out?

Wait, what?

J: Didn’t you hear me? All the restaurants…

S: Yes, I heard you, but I am sure Angelo could make a little room for us.

John lifts his hand from his eyes and blinks at Sherlock.

J: You…want to go out…to a restaurant…on Valentine’s Day. With me.

S: Oh, don’t be an idiot. Valentine’s Day is just a nonsensical fabrication…

J: …of the chocolate manufactures and florist, yes, I heard you the first time.

S: Well?

J: I guess?

I have no words…

judaluffy  asked:

Chuuya, if you were stranded in an isolated island and in your phone (that works) you had only Dazai's and Akutagawa's phone numbers who would you choose to call for help and why?

First of all, who gave me this crap phone in the first place…WaS iT YoU??

I can for sure tell you that I would never call that cocky bastard. Do you know how irritating that phone call would be?!? I can hear him laughing already.

Even though Akutagawa wouldn’t be my first option to call he also isn’t my last option. However, as a superior I can’t lose my reputation and look incapable and lost… 

…I WoULdn’T CaLL EitHeR Of ThEm. I’D RaThEr RoT ThERe

@killthebxy || liked for joffrey’s blog commentary

Funny that a BASTARD like Jon Snow would have that for their representation. Pathetic piece of work like you wouldn’t know a thing about KILLING anyone. I have to wonder what makes you think that is a FLATTERING picture of you ( do you even HAVE flattering pictures, bastard? Or are you just as worthless and discouraging to the eye in all of them as you are in person? ) How could anyone be interested in page after page after page… ABOUT YOU? How are you even close to interesting enough to have a MENTION, let alone an entire blog devoted to yourself? If you need help finding the delete button, I’d be happy to provide you that service (but nothing else. you seem to have enough wildling whores to take care of ALL of those needs for you. Might want to get that checked.)

queenmakcr  asked:

<anon> What’s amazing with your writing is how you’ve managed to pick every little detail about Ramsay from canon and just expand him with your amazing headcanons, you turn Ramsay into this complex terrifying individual with his flaws, strengths and even some vulnerability, yet you do this without woobifying him. Your stay true to this mongrelborn bastard yet you don’t turn him into a glamourous villain, he is a nasty piece work yet he is human. Your replies are like reading a Ramsay pov</anon>

critique my writing lel  //  @queenmakcr

                           stop licking my ass jaz jesus fuck u were supposed to go anon u cucc     I fucking love you ok?? Jaz,     the light of my life,   the blood of my angst.    You’re an absolutely amazing person with an outstanding talent for writing - you brighten my life every single day and I’m pretty damn sure that without you,    Jeyne,    Ari and all of your other wonderful muses school would fucking kill me.     Thank you for sticking with my annoying bitter ass for so long <3 

anonymous asked:

Can I get a letter thingy (name: Malena)? I've been really depressed lately and a letter would really cheer me up /w\ Much love from Italy xx

Of course!


Hello, my darling Malena

How is Italy this time of year? I must admit the desert doesn’t even come close to the beauty of Italy. Unfortunately, I’ll be stuck in this terrain for months. But, I’ve been gaining ground on my research of Thunderbirds. Extremely magnificent creatures. I’ve met one I’ve come to name Frank, gaining his trust has been difficult, he was the unfortunate victim of traffickers. The bloody bastards injured his leg. Though, I’m mending it as we speak.

But, I’m interested in your current state of affairs. How are you doing, my love? Does work treat you well? I miss you quite terribly, and I wish you could share in this breakthrough of my research with me. I know how much you love Thunderbirds. The only thing equal to their beauty is you, after all.

With love,

Newt

2/6/2017

ARIES:
Maybe don’t be a bitch today? I know that’s hard, especially when you’re surrounded by assholes, but you gotta #Get Shit Done sometimes and today is the day for biting your tongue and thinking before you speak. You’re a fiery bastard, Aries, but today you need to find your chill.

I guarantee if you do find even one fuck to give about thoughtfully communicating today, you’ll find you can express your thoughts in away that makes others listen, rather than run screaming from your blind rage.

TAURUS:
You are so fucking on point today, Taurus. Seriously, your case of the Mondays did not show up today and you are #KILLINGIT. Your bosses at work are gonna notice how much you’re bringing your A-game, so keep it up. Hell, ask for a raise today. The timing is right and you deserve them Tubmans.

GEMINI:
You’re full of manic energy today, Gemini, but you also have an abundance of good sense, so that works in your favor, even though you’re chafing at how cautious you’ve been lately. Just go with it, my dude. Your ruler is in Capricorn and there is fuck all to be done about it. I promise you’ll be fine.

Don’t bother with manipulative asshats today. They’re not worth your time or conversation.

CANCER:
You are one motivated motherfucker today, aren’t you? Follow your instincts today, Cancer. They won’t lead you wrong. I promise you know what you’re doing–and you’re going to Get. Shit. Done. Stick to your plans and your guns. Don’t get distracted by everyone else’s Monday bullshit. You got this.

LEO:
You’re kind of a sad sack today, Leo. You can’t help but dwell on the past–all of your mistakes, your woulda-coulda-shouldas. You long to go back and fix the crap you think you did wrong. Well, unless we invent time travel, you’re going to have to suck it up and realize that you have the ability to fix what’s wrong in your life if you just put in a half-assed effort. Imagine what you could accomplish if you used your whole ass?

VIRGO:
With a lot of strong support from the people around you, particularly your boss, the potential for you to finesse the shit out of everything you do today is pretty high, Virgo. You may even be able to make some good choices about your career today, changes and choices that will go a long way to actually making you not hate coming into work every day. Don’t run away from your problems today. Face that shit head on. You’ll like the results.

LIBRA:
Oh…..Libra, Libra, Libra… Hon, don’t talk about your feelings today, no matter what you do, or how you feel. It won’t be reciprocated and it’ll just suck for you. If you keep your distance, I promise people will notice and flock to you and you’ll get their attention that way, but just like…just don’t put yourself out there. You won’t like it. Just be aware of your goals and keep them in mind as you make baby steps in the direction you want to go. Patience here is key.

SCORPIO:
You are so fucking fake today, Scorpio and don’t even pretend you’re not riding high on some kind of fake bullshit scam. Luckily for you, Mercury is in the last degree of Capricorn in your third house, so you’re gonna get away with it. Just be careful of karma, my dude. Just shut your mouth and keep your opinions to yourself. Find some chill and play it cool.

SAGITTARIUS:
So, Sagi…not to call you out or anything, but you may–MAY–have been overreacting or been too sensitive about someone else’s behavior recently. I mean, you deserve to feel the way you feel, but you should probably step back and examine WHY you felt so sensitive to begin with. You’re going to be okay though. Just stay focused and roll with it. Everything is coming up Sagittarius!

CAPRICORN:
Work, work, work. That’s the life of a Capricorn. Normally you don’t mind all this work, but today you feel a little overwhelmed and lost and probably don’t understand your situation. Just give it your best, my dude. It’s a shit show and you’ve got challenges coming up ahead that will test your patience. Getting angry won’t help much, but fuck it today. Get mad. Let every motherfucker know you ain’t here to play. You may get results????

AQUARIUS:
Don’t even fuck with people who don’t respect you today. You have no time for their bullshit issues and frankly who fucking cares what they think? You have better things to do. Ideas flow fast and easy today, and it’s going to feel like you can do anything, but try not to blow your own mind, Aquarius. Ground your big ideas in reality and put them into action one step at a time.

PISCES:
Seriously, if you put even an ounce of effort into your appearance today, you’ll be pretty happy with the results. Just put down the yoga pants and brush your damn hair already. There are only so many days you can go au naturale before you start looking like a scuzz. Pisces likes comfort, but it’s Monday–put on your big girl panties (or big boy underoos, I don’t fucking know) and remind everyone that you’re a hottie-boom-body. 

Also expect someone to have your back in a pretty surprising way today.

GUYS, WERE YOU WEARING HEADPHONES WHEN WATCHING THIS EPISODE? IF NOT, RE-WATCH THIS SCENE AND TELL ME THAT MIYUKI’S VOICE IS NOT FREAKING GENTLE AND WARM ugh what the hell, why you gotta open the episode with miyusawa feelings goddammit

Okay, Kanemaru is getting shaken up a lot D: BBYYYY so apparently changeup arc is secretly kanesawa arc

AND OH MY GOSH I LOVE HOW THEY ANIMATED THIS PART. It so Miyuki. That rapid train of thought, that reflex, THAT TENSION BUILD, THE SCORE, the way the sound was handled in general really. Sakurai you beautiful bastard. UGH I just super love this scene.

Our mater cheerleader, brightening up the dugout before totally going Ugumori :”> He’s such a ball of sunshine ugh. And I love how they weren’t even denying what Mura was saying but getting worked up and Kanemaru even saying that he’s gonna show Mura in his next at bat or something like that.

And our dear Naberoll, doing Nabe things

AND GODDAMN I FUCKING LOVE YOU KANTOKU, LOOK AT HIM ALL PROUD OF NABE BBY UGH I JUST WANNA HUG KATAOKA SO MUCH

Also. LMFAO at Oota’s deadpan “We can’t relax yet.” LMAAAAAAO =)))

WELP, CHANGEUP FOR REAL REAL REAL next week, hopefully.

Getting a Part Time:

Me: mom i need a job

Mom: eh..?! YOU?! A JOB?!

Me: uh..yeah..i need to learn how to work hard and stuff…

Mom: well… Thats very mature of you..! Im glad


Reality:

Me: I just need money to buy more shit for Diabolik lovers

I’ll do anything for those lovely bastards….

Even if i have to work in summer …!

brendon’s periscope recap 5/30
  • brendon yells at his dogs
  • tattoos hurt according to brendon
  • racist tattoos don’t deserve respect. and white people with tribal tattoos. 
  • “‘would you fuck a fan?’ no i’m married who the fuck do you think i am”
  • “do i wish i was beyonce. who doesn’t wish they were beyonce. i do not wish i was beyonce. it seems like hard work and i’m too lazy for that” 
  • “that was me whistling” on pretty odd
  • urie is welsh or irish according to brandon’s parents
  • “‘i look like morrisey’s bastard child’ that you that’s very kind of you to say”
  • he’s not bringing the beard back
  • “‘you look like the inside of my asshole’ you must have a gorgeous asshole”
  • zack talks about how shane morris challenged him to a fight 
  • brendon definitely knows who he is. “ugh i don’t even care.”
  • “ignorance. i don’t know if ignorance is bliss. it is until you end up in a position you don’t want to end up in.” 
  • zack slamming shane
  • “would i write a book? i don’t know”
  • “do i miss fall out boy? where did they go? they’re back.”
  • brendon has to wear stretchy pants so he can be comfortable. 
  • “‘you got abs?’ i don’t got abs.”
  • *later dudes, and dudettes, and others”
The Halo Fanbase

I’ve ranted before and I’ll rant again; how many millions of dollars and months of constant effort do 343i have to give up to make you ungrateful bastards happy?

Let me first say that I know for a fact this isn’t all of you, I’m just having a go at those who beg and beg for something like ODST to be released with the MCC and then once it is, you complain that it’s still not enough.

You know these people work hard for you so that you can get a game you love? It lacks one feature that wasn’t even vital for the game to be good and now you’re going on and on about how you still want more, all the time while 343 is trying to prepare Halo 5: Guardians, arguably the biggest Halo release since Halo 2.

I’m letting that out because a lot of you need to understand that they’re giving you what you want. Demanding more once they’ve done that is just being a dickhead.

Peace.

MCM goes to my handsome guy :) I am so incredibly proud of the person you have become and it makes me even prouder to see how you react so positively to the people who try to dim your shine and bring you down. You’re a strong, amazing, genuine human being and no one can ever take that away from you. The kind words you share with others melts my heart and help so many people. Don’t let the bastards get you down baby, people are going to be jealous and that’s fine; as long as you do you and nothing else matters. I’m here always. Can’t wait to get home from work and kiss that face! Love always, your brownie. ❤️ nowwearefreeforever