the signs according to ME, based on what I've absorbed from tumblr even though I don't pay attention to 75% of the zodiac and might not be able to even name them all from memory
PISSED OFF ANGRY FILLED WITH RAGE AND ANGER AND IS ALSO MAD
the impression I get is they're similar to aries in that they’re angry and stubborn? but the difference is that while aries will clock you in the jaw, taurus will hold a grudge for the rest of your born days. your born days, not theirs, because they’re going to outlive you out of spite
is what I think comes next? anyway apparently geminis are very social and bubbly and they're people persons (people people?), but also they’re supposed to be all two-faced and gossipy, because twins. which is very mean to say about twins.
no offense to anyone who is a cancer, but my Least Favorite Human that I've ever met is a cancer, so my perception is tainted. cancers cry a lot. all the time. about everything.
you know, I honestly don't know what is associated with leo, besides... lion. so therefore, leos are brave. you might belong in august, where dwell the brave of heart. their daring, nerve, and chivalry set leos apart. congrats you're gryffindor now
or is it libra comes first? I think it's virgo. um, anyway, virgo is my moon sign. I respect virgo. the general sense I get is that they're very... anal and particular and organized? their lists are color-coded and have subheadings?
or possibly virgo, depending on whether or not I switched the order. BUT YEAH SO, LIBRA, SCALES. ALL ABOUT THAT FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE. common room is next to the kitchen.
uuuuuuuGHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO FED UPPPPPPP I am a scorpio but I don't WANNA BE a scorpio I'm so TIRED of everything being nothing but femme fatale tropes and byronic hero nonsense I'M NOT MYSTERIOUS!!! are people even mysterious in real life? also please stop talking about how sexually charged and passionate I am. please don't do this. you're making this uncomfortable for everyone and I wanna exchange my sign for something else
the sense I get is that sagittarius is best personified by a weird kid at summer camp who hardcore believes in aliens and whose knees are full of band-aids
does capricorn come next? I don't honestly even know. I don't know anything about capricorns. they're represented by a goat though, so that automatically makes them better than every other sign. A MERMAID GOAT, NO LESS. listen, idk what capricorns are like, but I'm trading my star sign. I WANNA BE A MERMAID GOAT. I WANNA BE A MERMAID GOAT MORE THAN ANYTHING.
the only thing I know about aquarius is that song in Hair
fish. has lots of emotions, but is pretty chill and creative? bunks with sagittarius at summer camp, but personally prefers cryptids to aliens
What probably happens when most people over-think mermaids:
But how do they bang?
When I other-think mermaids:
If their upper bodies are like human skin, what keeps it from deteriorating in the water like David Blaine’s body did when he was in that tank for a week?
If mermaids build houses, would they have staircases or ramps? What would the point be? They could just float up to a new room through a hole in the ceiling.
Do mermaids have a third, transparent eyelid that helps them see in the water?
Are mermaids mammals or fish? If they’re mammals, wouldn’t their tails have to be made out of a more whale-like or dolphin-looking substance? Do they have to surface to breathe, or do they have gills? Can mammals have scales?
How do mermaids reproduce? Do they lay eggs and then have their partner fertilize them? Do they live-birth tail first, like a dolphin? Are they like great white sharks, where the eggs hatch inside the mother and the babies eat the unfertilized eggs and each other until they’re ready to be birthed?
What are baby mermaids called? Babies, pups, calves, fries?
Do mermaids raise their young, or are they hatched/birthed and then on their own?
If mermaids can become human, are they annoyed at how different gravity on land feels without the buoyancy of water acting on it?
Fish apparently can’t control when they excrete or urinate (and do the latter pretty much continuously), though aquatic mammals can control it. Can mermaids? Would a mermaid turned human be incontinent?
If the mermaid turned human turns back into a mermaid when they get wet (Splash style), would they turn back on an especially humid day? Would sweat do it?
Can barnacles grow on mermaids?
How would the Starbucks mermaid’s tails move when she swims?
If mermaids existed, would they gather together and protest over-fishing by blocking boats, or would they stay hidden and just sabotage nets?
Would mermaids go to that giant garbage island in the ocean and make jewelry out of our soda can plastic rings?
Can mermaids cry? If they cry underwater, would anyone be able to tell?
hear me out. jimin is a mermaid who is fascinated by the lighthouse so he visits the coast very often. jungkook is a scientist who focuses on water creatures and myths. one night while working, jungkook swears that he saw a fishtail that doesn’t belong to any known fish. he starts diving around the area to catch the creature. little did he know he would catch them feelings for the little pink haired mermaid.
Hmmm going for Pirates… Could you possibly write a cute ‘reader x character’ fic with (Captain) Jack where the reader is a mermaid/man in training and is learning how to lure men from their ships to their doom…but is failing…Like instead of singing something melodic they’ll rap or beatbox or something, or they’ll “try” to pose seductively on a rock and have seaweed blow into their face, and they’ll circle his ship, leaping out of the water like a dolphin just saying “am i doing this right, do you give up yet? am i winning?” to the point where the captain just sort of gives up and helps them learn how to do the mermaid/man thing right… I hope that inspires something <3 “
Word count: 699
A/N: I changed the request quite boldly, because I didn’t quite understand the request, but I hope you like this version!