how do i go forward


1/ days of hobi

Game of Thrones Starters (best of)

as requested by anon

  • ❝That’s what I do: I drink and I know things.❞ 
  • ❝This is not the day I die.❞
  • ❝I wish I was the monster you think I am.❞
  • ❝It doesn’t matter what we want, once we get it then we want something else.❞
  • ❝If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.❞
  • ❝The more people you love, the weaker you are.❞
  • ❝He always comes back!❞
  • ❝If you ever call me sister again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.❞
  • ❝There is only one god, and his name is Death.❞
  • ❝Can a man still be brave when he’s afraid?❞
  • ❝The next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands!❞
  • ❝Nothing isn’t better or worse than anything. Nothing is just nothing.❞
  • ❝Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.❞
  • ❝Of all the ways I’d kill you, poison would be the last.❞
  • ❝Oh no please, seduce away. It’s been so long.❞
  • ❝Someday I’m gonna put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.❞
  • ❝Your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth.❞
  • ❝There’s no cure for being a cunt.❞
  • ❝The things I do for love…❞
  • ❝It’s not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it.❞
  • ❝I learned how to die a long time ago.❞
  • ❝We go forward. Only forward.❞
  • ❝A lion doesn’t concern itself with the opinion of sheep.❞
  • ❝Tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one is between your legs.❞
  • ❝There are no men like me. There’s only me.❞

Things that are annoying, passive aggressive, and/or rude [and which you shouldn’t do, but I see a lot on tumblr]:

  • Sending someone the same ask more than twice
  • Demanding/pestering someone to either answer your asks or answer asks in general
  • Assuming that everyone is free at all times [People have lives outside of the internet.]
  • Thinking you are entitled to an answer
  • Certain language like ‘when are you actually going to -’ ‘when are you going to -’ ‘you can’t do -’ when being used in an accusatory/pestering manner
  • Excusing rudeness with excitement [Evaluate how you behave when ‘excited’. You should never act rude when you’re happy/excited about something. That’s no excuse.]
  • Getting impatient with a content creator that they’re not making enough stuff for you. Doesn’t matter how much you love it, content creators have jobs and lives [and many of them are not doing what they do for you]. If you want them to make more stuff, help support them, maybe they can make the content creation their job, thus pushing out more stuff.
  • Getting angry when your ask isn’t answered and coming to the person about it
  • Assuming that silence is permission [this will get you in a lot of trouble. Silence is not consent. Do not do this.]
  • Acting entitled to content/demanding a creator make more/faster content [This is a pretty quick way to demoralize a content creator, so cut it out.]
  • Acting like you deserve something/like people owe you something for being nice/a decent human being [This is the nice-guy syndrome. It applies to anyone, not just dudes]
  • Arguing with content creators about their own content. There’s constructive criticism, and then there’s straight up telling the artist/author that they’re wrong, you’re right. Don’t do that.
  • Badmouthing someone because they get annoyed/call you out on the above behavior, instead of evaluating yourself to see if you really should change how you act in some areas.

If you’ve done these or are doing these and you feel like you’re being scolded, just. Stop doing them. Simple as that, we have no issue anymore.

Million Reasons (Part one)

A/N: It’s finally here the first part of my Montogmery series this first part is kind of and intro to the story and all that I’m really sorry that it’s so long but I really hope you guys like it. Please let me know what you think of it.

Also listen to the song Love me or Leave me by little mix and Million Reasons by Lady Gaga when you read this part it fits really well. Also I am busy making a playlist on spotify that fits for this whole series.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of pregnancy, break up and sex

Montgomery De La Cruz, baseball star, jock, one of the most popular guys at liberty  high school and school bully. Y/N Y/L/N, straight A student, one of the most smartest people at liberty high and school sweetheart. How is it possible that these two people who are so different would end up being perfect for each other.

It was Friday afternoon just a few more hours and it would be spring break you were getting some books out of your locker when the one and only Montgomery De La Cruz came over to you and leaned against the locker next to yours.

“Hey Y/N.” He said with a smile.

“Uh hey Montgomery.” You said looking at him weirdly.

“So I was thinking….” He started before you interrupted him.

“Oh that’s dangerous.” You said with a little laugh.

“As I was saying before you rudely interrupted I was thinking you, me, Rosie’s diner  tomorrow.” He said with a smirk on his face.

“Uh thank you but um..N-no thank you.” You said as you closed your locker.

“Great so…Wait What!?” He asked shocked and confused.

“Look I’m sorry that you’re not used to hearing no for an answer but no.” You said as you started to walk away.

You might be being a little harsh but he was always teasing and annoying you’re best friend Alex so you weren’t gonna be super nice to him.

“Wait, Wait Y/N. Why don’t you wanna go out with me?” He asked  as he stopped in front of you.

“Why? Is that even a question.” You said as you tried to get past him.

“L-look I know I’m not the nicest person and that I’m not really the type of guy that you would go out with but. I really like you and really wanna take you out.” He said as he looked into your eyes.

“If you really like me that much then why haven’t you asked me out earlier.” You said crossing your arms.

“Because I-I was scared okay.” He said looking down embarresed.

“Montgomery De La Cruz, scared to ask out a girl? Yeah I don’t believe that this is just a stupid joke.” You said trying to get past him again but was stopped by Montgomery’s hand on your shoulder.

“Look I know that is hard to believe but like I said before I’m not like the guys you usually date and I was just really scared that you would reject me. Which you did.” He said looking at you.

“Look I-I don’t know Montgomery okay….” You said looking down.

“All I am asking of you is to give me a chance, just one chance to prove to you that I am not the guy everyone thinks I am. Please Y/N.” He said taking your hand and lifting your head up so that he could look into your eyes.

You bit your lip thinking of what you should do and then just decided to give it a shot you couldn’t get hurt if you weren’t expecting it to go well right?

“Okay fin. Pick me up tomorrow at eight.” You said with a smile.

“Tomorrow at eight it is.” He said with a wide smile.

You just rolled your eyes, smiled and walked away to your next class. You walked into the classroom and took your seat next to Alex.

“So the weirdest thing just happened to me.” You said looking at him.

“Oh yeah tell me what happened?” He asked intrigued.

“Montgomery just asked me out on a date.” You said to him with a look on your face that just screamed what did just happen.

“What!? Montgomery asked you out?” He said surprised and confused.

“Yeah he did.” You said looking down at your hands.

“And what did you say?” Ales asked looking at you curious to know what you answered.

“No then yes.” You said replaying it in your head.

“Okay you really need to explain what you mean by that.” He said confused.

“I said no and then he started saying that he really liked me and stuff and then I just thought well if I don’t expect this date to go well I can’t get hurt so I took a leap and said yes.” You said with a small smile.

“Are you sure that your little thought is gonna be right?” He asked.

“Yeah I mean I know his reputation so I’m not expecting to have a relationship with him. I know how this date is gonna turn out. He’s gonna buy me foo and be an asshole and then I’ll just never call him again.” You said simply.

“Well okay then if you’ve got it all figured out.” Ales said as he leaned back into his chair.

“Don’t worry Lex I won’t get hurt.” You said smiling at him.

The rest of the day went pretty fast and soon school was over and you were getting ready for your date. You decided to put on a white dress with some nude flats with some light make up and your hair in loose curls. You were doing some finishing touches when your mom called you.

“Y/N your date is here!” She yelled from downstairs.

You were kind of scared of what your parents would think of him because your family was pretty strict and proper and well Montgomery was the total opposite.

“Okay mom I’ll be down in a minute!” You yelled back.

You looked into the mirror one last time grabbed your purse and went downstairs. When you were downstairs and in front of the door looking at Montgomery you couldn’t believe how poised he looked. He was wearing black jeans with a black dress shirt and a black leather jacket holding some flowers.

“Wow Y/N you look just absolutely beautiful.” He said looking at you in awe.

“Well you don’t look to bad yourself.” You said with a smile.

“Here these are for you.” He said as he handed you the flowers.

“Oh thank you, you really didn’t have to.” You said with a smile.

You turned around to give them to your mom and you could just see the judgment o her face you just handed her the flowers sighed and turned back around.

“Um are you ready?” He asked.

“Yep all ready to go.” You said with a smile.

He smiled back and held out his arm for you to take. You looked at him a little confused as you took his arm and laughed. He walked you to his car and opened the door for you.

“Wow such a gentleman.” You said surprised.

“Well I try.” He said with a smile.

After a few minutes of driving you arrived at Rosie’s and walked in. You went to sit at a booth and you expected him to come and sit next to you so that he could try some stupid moves on you but he actually went to sit opposite of you.

“You know Montgomery you are actually surprising me. I didn’t know you were such a gentleman.” You said with a smile.

“Well Y/N there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” He said smiling back at you.

After awhile the waiter came and took your orders. You both got your food pretty fast and the date was going surprisingly well. After the two of you ate you just sat there and talked.

“So tell me Montgomery is every date you go on like this?” You asked curiously.

“Honestly no.” He said honestly.

“Well then tell me how do your usual dates go?” You asked leaning forward.

“Well mostly I go up to a girl all cocky and stuff ask her our she says yes. After school I take the girl either to Rosie’s or the Crestmont mostly she pays for her own food and stuff and when I take her to Rosie’s I sit next her and put some of my moves on and let’s be honest at the Crestmont I do that too. Basically the date usually end’s with me making out with a girl either in the back of my care or at the back of the theater. Oh and I usually don’t dress up so nicely.” He said looking at you.

“Okay and what makes me so different?” You asked confused.

“You’re just so different from any other girl I have ever met. You actually care about stuff you know all the other girl’s at our school care about is cheerleading or getting  a boyfriend. You don’t care about that stuff. And you’re so nice and helpful you would do anything to help your friends and I really like. Like I said I have liked you for a while and I really wanna make an impression on you. I really think that I could have something with you.” He said looking down not daring to look up because he just expressed all of his feelings for you.

“Monty that is so sweet. I honestly have no idea what to say right now.” You said speechless.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He said with a smile as he took your hand.

“I’m really happy I gave you a chance.” You said squeezing his hand.

“Me too.” He said with a smile.

“It’s uh getting pretty late I think I should take you home.” He said with a sad smile.

“Yeah I guess.” You said sadly.

“Come on.” He said as he stood up and held out his hand for you to take.

You took his hand and he smiled at you as the two of you walked out of the diner and walked to his car. He drove you home and walked with you to your front door.

“So…” You said awkwardly.

“So..” He said just as awkward.

“I really enjoyed our date Monty.” You said smiling at him.

“Me too.” He said with a big smile.

“So does that mean we can do this again?” He asked hopefully.

“We can definitely do this again.” You said smiling.

You both looked at each other and then slowly started to lean in. Your lips were almost touching when you’re mom interrupted you.

“Y/N you’re finally back.” Your mom said happily.

You and Monty jumped apart and both looked down. He put his hands in his pockets and walked back a little.

“Mom w-what are you doing?” You asked looking at her embarrassed.

“Well I heard you two talking so I decided to come out here to see if everything was okay.” She said looking at Monty.

“Well we’re okay mom. So you can go back inside.” You said looking at her with a hopeful look on her face.

“It’s getting kind of late honey I would rather have that you come inside.” She said with a fake sweet smile.

“Mom.” You said looking at her angrily.

“Now Y/N.” She said sternly.

“Fine. I’ll see you around Monty.” You said as you want to hug him.

“Text me.” You whispered in his ear.

“Definitely.” He whispered back and then smiled at you as you pulled away.

A few days later the two of you were just hanging out at his house you had been going out for a few days so when the two of you hang out you don’t call it dates anymore.

“I can’t believe that you Montgomery De La Cruz likes the notebook.” You said laughing you were laying on his bed as he had his arm around you.

“Look I know that it might be weird but I do I really like that movie.” He said with a laugh.

“You are so weird.” You said looking up at him.

“And you are so beautiful.” He said as he kissed your nose.

You smiled and kissed him on his lips he immediately kissed back and wrapped his arms around your waist as yours went to his hair. The two of you pulled away and smiled at each other.

“Be my girlfriend.” He said smiling at you.

“What?” You said shocked and happy.

“Y/N will you please do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” He asked looking into your eyes and holding your hands.

“Yes of course I would love to be your girlfriend Monty.” You said smiling at him.

He smiled and hugged you close after that soon came the two of you said your first I love you’s to each other. The two of you were on a playground sitting on the swings holding each others hands.

“How is it possible that the two of us are so good together?” You asked looking at Monty who was next to you.

“What do you mean?” He asked confused.

“I mean we are two totally different people but somehow we just work together. How is that possible.” You said laughing at him.

“It’s possible because I love you.” He said smiling at you.

“Y-you w-what?” You asked shocked.

“I love you Y/N.” He said smiling at you.

“I love you so so much.” He said looking at you.

“I love you too Monty.” You said smiling at him happily.

You stood up and walked towards him and went to sit on his lap and he immediately wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I love you so so so much.” You said and then kissed him.

After that day everything else just was perfect for the two of you. Your parents still didn’t really approve of your relationship but you really didn’t care. The two of you had the perfect relationship you didn’t know how it worked because the two of you were so different but somehow it just worked. Somehow in those two weeks of vacation you guys seemed to have a complete relationship and yes that also included the two of you doing ‘it’. It happened at your house you’re parents weren’t home and you had invited Monty over the two of you were just sitting on your couch watching a movie when suddenly the two of you just started to kiss. His hands were on your waist as yours where in his hair. After awhile he started kissing your neck and you brought your hands to the hem of his shirt and tugged on it he got the hint and took of his shirt.

“Maybe we should go to my room.” You said as he was still kissing your neck.

He pulled back and looked at your face shocked.

“A-are you sure?” He asked looking at you.

“Yeah.” You said as you bit your lip.

He just smiled and picked you up and carried you to your bedroom. That night was just amazing after that night you knew that he loved you. There were only a few days left of vacation and for some reason Monty kept ignoring you more and more and you didn’t understand why. You were busy getting some stuff read for school since school was gonna start in 2 days when you got a text.

Monty: Need to talk to u. NOW

Y/N: Okay meet you in 5 at our playground?

Monty: Ok

You took your phone and your jacket and you started walking to the playground. A few minutes later you got there and Monty was already waiting for you at the swings.

“Hey.” You said happily as you hugged him.

“Yeah hey.” He said as he pulled away from you.

“Why did you need to talk to me?” You asked him.

“Well spring break is almost over so I think we should break up.” He said looking down.

“W-what why?” You asked confused.

“Look what we had it was fun but it’s over now.” He said with a slight shrug.

“It was fun? Y-you said you loved me that I-I was different.” You said as tears started to form in your eyes.

“Yeah so I say a lot of things it doesn’t mean that it’s the truth.” He said.

“What happened? You were acting so different and now you suddenly start acting like the asshole jock again.” You angrily as tears rolled down your cheeks.

“Yeah well I am an asshole jock I thought you knew that. Look what we had it was fun but you’re just not good enough anymore.” He said with a scoff.

You were so angry that you just slapped him across the face.

“I hate you.” You said as tears streamed down your face.

You ran away crying just cried for the rest of the time. The next day you were feeling horrible about the break up and on top of that you were throwing up a lot lately and hadn’t gotten your period yet. You were really scared because you knew what that could mean but you had to know for sure so you just quickly went to the nearest store and bought ten pregnancy tests. You took them all and all of them were positive you couldn’t believe this was happening to you. You just sat on your bed crying and crying. You were so scared and had no idea what to do so you called the only person you could trust Alex.

“A-Alex can y-you please come o-over?” You asked between sobs.

“Y/n what’s wrong?” Alex asked worried.

“Just p-please come quickly.” You said still sobbing.

“I’ll be right there.” He said and then hung up.

He already knew that you and Monty broke up so he just thought that that was the reason why you were crying so much. After a few minutes he got to your house and immediately ran upstairs to your bedroom.

“Y/n What’s wrong?” He asked worried as he came to sit next to you on your bed.

“I-I’m pregnant.”

anonymous asked:

What do you think about the lastest chapter now that a day has passed?

Oh man, admittedly I am still kind of….distantly seeing how the fandom is exploding. I have not gone into tags, but have seen things come across my dash indicating DRAMA and seen a few spurts of it on the wiki.

But overall, I think that it was not something I expected to see happen. I mean,  I joked about them doing the do last week. But I was JOKING, and I never expected to see an actual chapter-long sex scene.

I have previously expressed concern about them rushing into things, and discussed with people worries about how things could go moving forward. Doing the do changes things, and I have to wonder how Touken will handle things from here on out. Both of them have a lot of emotional issues to work through, which…..

Honestly, I think they did rush into things. In that I think having sex occurred because both of them were emotionally exhausted, and seeking out physical intimacy as a means of comfort. It was very impulsive, with them kind of leaping into things without thinking it through. No consideration for (cough) protection or foreplay, just kind of going with the flow of their emotions. 

I think the stand-alone vibe of the chapter worked, in terms of this kind of being them trying to escape the world for a moment. Kaneki has been reeling with so many things, most recently Mutsuki being a deranged Yandere. Touka is worried sick about Yoriko and feeling helpless right now. Without anything else they could do, they just…..kind of shut all that out and focused entirely on them. Physical intimacy as comfort and a way to escape for a bit. 

In terms of the actual deed and the art involved, I’ve said I think Ishida did well. I’ve seen others discuss the tone, and how Young Jump has a lot of graphic material. Compared to other sex scenes I have seen in the past, it had the feeling of being very intimate and emotional, as opposed to something intended to arouse the fans and exploit the characters. 

I felt like we got a positive portrayal of female sexuality, in that Touka avoided either major stereotype typical of women in sex scenes. She was neither blushing, weepy virgin or aggressive Sexy Dominant woman. Instead, we got a woman that was certain of what she wanted, while still actually being awkward. We got positive portrayal of consent, in terms of both spoken and unspoken communication between them. We got equal sharing of power, with them each taking active and passive roles. And them being awkward dorks that fumble, and make funny faces, and struggle with stuff.

I mean, yeah we didn’t get proper foreplay which is important folks!! But I guess it would be super-awkward to have like….all of that included in the scene. (cough) 

It is definitely divided up the fandom, that is for sure. 

I am admittedly very Whatever about sex scenes, considering I used to be an avid reader of an indie series that frequently had sex scenes. (Elfquest, good American indie fantasy series!) So I wasn’t bothered by it happening, nor was I OH MAN THIS HAD TO HAPPEN. 

I think at this point, it’s just a waiting game to see what happens next. Where their relationship develops, and how their characters change.

poofykels  asked:

Hi, I am new to meditation. This is day two of my journey and I feel as though I can't let go of what I'm supposed to feel or see. I think it is the act of not letting go of myself or my preconcieved idea of meditation that is not allowing me to move forward. How do I let go? How can I move past this barrier or better yet, how can I change my perspective so I can come into contact with my personal epiphanies?? I want to build a relationship with my heart and mind.

When you want to learn how to throw a ball, you don’t fantasize about the World Series or the Superbowl. You pick up a ball and you throw it. Over and over. Thoughts about the future and other things may happen. But all you can do is bring your attention back to the matter at hand, which is the only thing that is actually happening: throwing the ball. 

When you sit to meditate, sit. Close your eyes. Gently rest your attention between your eyebrows. Breathe. 

If you notice your mind wandering off in any direction, be it good or bad, bring your attention back to the space between your eyes. Breathe. 

Anything else that is added to the moment by the mind’s thoughts, imaginations, philosophizing, is part of the dance of illusion. Don’t be tempted to follow any of it. 

For more information about meditation, read the posts I have written here

Once you have decided you want to practice meditation, forget all the reasons why. Just practice meditation. All of your expectations will merely be barriers. All of your expectations will be wrong. It is like a colorblind person who is forming expectations of what color will be like once their colorblindedness is corrected. It will never match up to the breathtaking reality. 

Be patient and persistent. 

Namaste :)

Diarmuid and Gráinne

Travelling through Ireland, you will see beautiful stone shapes called dolmens. A Dolmen is two massive, long tables of limestone. Over them as a kind of shelter is placed another giant cap stone. In the Celtic tradition these were known as  ‘Leaba Dhiarmada agus Gráinne’, i.e. the bed of Diarmuid and Gráinne. The legend tell that Gráinne was to marry Fionn, chief of the Fianna, the old Celtic warriors. She fell in love with Diarmuid. The two of them eloped and the Fianna chased them all over Ireland. They were cared for by the animals and received advice from wise people. They were told, for instance, not to spend more than two nights in any one place. It was said that when they rested at night, Diarmuid put up the Dolmen as a shelter  for his lover. The actual archeological evidence shows that these were burial places. The legend is more interesting and resonant. It is a lovely image of the helplessness which sometimes accompanies love. When you fall in love, common sense, rationality and your normal serious, reserved and respectable persona dissolve.You become revitalized. Where there is no passion, your soul is either asleep or absent. When your passion awakens, your soul becomes young and free and dances again. In this old Celtic legend, we see the power of love and the energy of passion.

John O’Donohue  -  “Anam Cara”


WHAT I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO: make him look vaguely heartbroken

WHAT THAT HAPPENED ANYWAY: the thing I just said

it’s kind of the expression i imagine he had when von karma finally admitted to killing gregory so i just kinda ran with it ohgod

anonymous asked:

I saw the post about criticism to a creative person, and wanted to inquire into what sort of critiquing process is helpful to you? I ask both as a creative person, but also as someone who has critiqued creative pieces of peers. I guess it's mostly curiosity in regards to hear what is beneficial to other creatives. What are your thoughts on giving constructive criticism that is presented in a way that doesn't destroy a person's creative confidence?

That’s a really good question anon! (also forgive me for any mistakes I’m half asleep and have a whole day of moving and furniture assembly ahead of me heh but shhhh)

Now I’m also coming at this from a different angle. Because I’m a teacher I’ve been trained to give constructive criticism in a way that children can process it. As a result I often worry that the concrit I give to adults can come across too “teachery” so I don’t do it very often. I myself only offer concrit to my friends and fellow writers, those whom I specifically know want my concrit.

But I find that’s actually a really good rule to follow! A lot of people post fanfic online for fun. They aren’t doing to better themselves as writers or as practice before they start their original work. Unless specially stated- you have no idea if a person wants concrit or not. So err on the side of caution and ask if you don’t know.

In terms of actually giving creative criticism I tend to stick to one main rule: 

If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.

(more under the cut)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Toronto anon: I've been here for a day and I'm in love with this city

i love it so much. i’m so excited to try and live there with my girlfriend in the near?? future

Matt is holding himself very still when Foggy steps in close to him, his nose almost brushing Matt’s face.

“Don’t you want to kiss me?” Foggy asks.


Sword Art Online II — Episode 12: Phantom Bullet - Preview Screencaps

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This is a reminder that SAO has a new graphic oriented tag. For more information please visit here.

anonymous asked:

Hey, another freshman in college cellist here. I'm currently really bummed because I brought my cello halfway across the country only to audition and not be accepted into the only orchestra on campus :( any advice on how to deal/what to do going forward? Thanks ily

I’m really sorry that you didn’t get a chance to play in orch this semester, but there are so many other ways to keep up with cello! You can take this as an opportunity to really focus on a solo that you’ve always wanted to learn. Or you can ask around to see if anyone would be interested in forming a chamber group with you just for fun! Just keep playing and working on audition rep. I know you’ll get in the next time you can audition!

this week has been bad lads

Mummy and baby pants!

Chapter 1 - Mummy meets Baby Pants

I had been going out with this guy for a couple of months, he was so sweet to me, that on our first night together, he gave me one of his t-shirts to wear and held me all night long. I would go to his house most nights after work and he would be there waiting for me with a meal prepared, it was lovely, sometime he’d cook, other times he would layout all sorts of nibbles, cheeses and cooked meats etc. we called them our carpet picnics, it was great, I was being loved and looked after!

Sex with my man was great, so soft and gentle, so considerate and caring and being with him in his arms was wonderful. One evening my man went upstairs leaving me to enjoy a glass of wine, he was gone a while and when he returned he was wearing a dressing gown and sat on the floor next to me, he held me, he kissed me and then he took my hand and slid it up his leg towards his groin, I was getting very excited, as my hand slid up his leg I found myself touching and feeling plastic, I pulled his dressing gown apart and found that my man wearing a white fluffy terry nappy and plastic pants! My reaction was shock and surprise, I didn'ti know what to do or say, this didn’t go down well with my man, who panicked at my lack of reaction and ran upstairs! I sat down to take it in, my man has a secret fetish, he wants me to be his mummy, he wants to be an adult baby! I go upstairs and find him hiding under the duvet on his bed, ashamed of what he is and my reaction to him!

I get undressed and climb into bed with him, I hold him, kiss him and he seems tense and uncomfortable, I feel his nappy and plastic pants, rubbing up and against them, I can feel him relaxing in my arms and his man hood starts to grow in his nappy and plastic pants. He whispers to me ‘are you cross’, 'no’ I reply and hold him closer, I feel all the stress and tension leave him and I kiss him more and more, rubbing his nappy and feeling his plastic pants, 'will you be my mummy’ he asks, I have never had a baby before, especially an adult one, 'yes’ I reply, 'but you will have to guide me along as I have never been a mummy before’, he looks into my eyes and says 'you have made me so happy, I thought from your reaction that I might have lost you’, I smile 'you just needed to give me a few minutes to take it in, I am happy to be your mummy, I’m just not sure how good a mummy I will be!’

Chapter 2 - the first day together!

I spent the night cuddling my man who was wearing his nappies and plastic pants, in the morning I wake first and find myself admiring this man or was I looking at a baby! I wondered how our first day in this situation was going to go! When he awakes, he smiles and is extremely pleased to see that I am still here, 'I was worried’ he said 'that you might have changed your mind about being my mummy and left’. 'No my darling, I’m looking forward to bring with you today’, I ask baby about how his nappy feels against his skin, 'it’s lovely and fluffy’ he says, 'so do you wee in your nappy’ I ask, 'yes’ he says and I sometime 'poo’! 'Well that’s got to be messy!’ I say, 'have you wee’d it tonight?’ I ask. 'No not yet, but I would like to, would you hold my nappy while I wee’ he asked, well this was going to be my first mummy, baby experience, I thought. Baby, as I’m now going to call him, move round towards me, took my hand and placed it at the front of his nappy, I could feel his winky through the nappy and soon I could feel the wee leave his body and filly his nappy, it was very warm and quit thrilling for me, I could feel my looley getting wet as I felt this happening! It was a strange but enjoyable experience and I could see from babies face that he was thoroughly enjoying himself, he could see how pleased I was and I could feel his excitement at my pleasure as his winky started to grow inside his nappy and plastic pants.

The experience was quite thrilling for both of us and baby wanted to please me for allowing him to be my baby and for letting him wee while I held him, his hand came slowly sliding up my leg and found my panties, with one move he was between my panties and my looly, 'you enjoyed me wetting didn’t you mummy’ he said 'you are very wet down here, I now want to reward you for allowing this to happen and for being here with me’ he said, he entered my looly with his fingers thrusting in and out gently as he kissed me, I tried to get near his winky, but he pulled back, 'please don’t he said, I can’t come, I need to pleasure my mummy, if I come baby goes’, this was a lot to take in and understand, I have loved making love with him, how do we go forward without sex! Baby still had his hand in my panties, touching and creasing my looly, he then moved his head towards my naked breasts and started kissing and sucking one of my nipples, the pleasure was amazing, I let myself go and soon I was having orgasum after orgasum, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed babies hand and stopped him, the smile on his face was lovely, he had as much pleasure as I and I hadn’t touched him! I held baby close to me and he felt so relaxed in my arms.

I must have fallen asleep as the next thing I know, I found myself all alone in babies bed! Wondering where he had gone, I got up and creeped downstairs, I found baby in the kitchen preparing breakfast, poached eggs on toast with hollandaise sauce, one of my favourite breakfasts that baby had been preparing for me, he is such a good cook! But this was not the normal sight I had been used to when my man was cooking for me, this time an adult baby was at the stove wearing not only a nappy and plastic pants, but a baby grow, all white and fluffy, it cover him from his neck to his toes, this sight was again new to me, but he did look rather sweet in his romped suit.

'Good morning baby, how are you today?’ I asked 'I am extremely happy mummy’ he said and turned to kiss haven’t you told me about this before?’ I ask, 'we have been going out for quiet a while now’, 'it’s not something I like to share, but I have become extremely found of you and for our relationship to go any further I needed to let you know who I really am’ he explained, 'I know it’s not normal, but it’s who I am and I don’t want to change it, instead I want to enjoy it with you, if that’s OK?’ he asked, 'yes, baby’ I said, 'I would like that’, he smiled and said 'good I am so pleased.

After breakfast, baby asked if he could show me his other baby things, yes I would like that’ I said, baby lead me upstairs to his spare bedroom, as he unlocked the door, he said 'I have never let anyone in here before’, 'whys that I ask?’, 'because I have never met anyone like you before, I really like being with you and feel the need to let you know who I really am’, he opened the door to reveal what looked like a nursery but with everything being a bit bigger than normal, there was a oversized cot and large changing table, a closed cupboard, a large stack of terry nappies and a rail with plastic pants hanging on it, 'this is amazing’ I said 'do you really sleep in here’ I ask, 'yes mummy I do, when I feel the urge and need to’, 'has anyone changed your nappy on the table before’ I asked, 'no, only me doing it myself’ he said, looking glum, 'would you like me to change you on the table baby’ I ask, baby looks pleased, 'that would be wonderful’ he said with a large smile on his face! Baby showed my where everything I needed to change him was, there was baby powered, baby lotion, baby wipes, clean terry nappies and plastic pants, I held my baby in my arms while holding and feeling his nappy, I kissed him gentle on the lips and he responded by passionately kissing me back, I could feel his winky hardening against me through his nappy, 'you make me feel so happy’ he said, 'do you like what you see in hear’, 'yes baby’ I said 'I like it a lot, I can see us having lots of fun in here, now would you like a clean nappy?’, 'yes please mummy’.

I lay baby on the changing table and start to unfasten his poppers, all baby does is look at me with a huge smile on his face, it seems that I have found an adult baby in this grown up man who was laying here before me, I feel that I am going to enjoy this! Once the baby grow is undone, I reveal his nappy and plastic pants, which are very wet, 'if you prefer there are disposable gloves in the draw of the changing table’, he said, 'that would be a help’ I reply, I open up the draw and find more then disposable gloves, it contained large dummies, large bibs, large nappy pins, large nappy sacks, more lotions, more powders and more wipes! 'Well you are well stocked with all the necessary supplies baby’, I said, 'yes mummy I like to be prepared’ he replied, I continue to change baby, by pulling down his plastic pants and then I unpinned his terry nappy, as soon as I moved the terry nappy away, I revealed and very hard and long winky, 'wow baby, that’s impressive, you must be enjoying this’ I say, 'oh yes mummy I am loving every minute’ he says, still with his huge smile on his face. I get a nappy sack for the dirty nappy, wipe and clean babies bottom and winky and lay him out a nice clean terry nappy, I wrap baby in it, pushing his hard winky down and fastening it tightly with the oversized pins, I then slide a clean and clear pair of plastic pants up babies legs and over his terry nappy, securing him in place 'is that better’ I ask, 'yes mummy says baby shyly’, I fasten back up the romper suit and help baby down from the table, we spend the next few hours, exploring all the baby things in the room and playing with the baby toys together, I then spot the cupboard, what’s in there I ask?’, baby looks away towards the floor, that’s my punishment cupboard!’ He says!!

I walk over to the cupboard and open the lock, iinside I find pull out shelves, all labelled differently, the first is called 'chastity’, I look at baby with a surprised expression and I find him looking at the floor with embarrassment! I pull open the draw to find it laid out with various items to chastise baby’s winky, there was cock rings, hand cuffs, harnesses, ropes and cuffs and metal devises that go over baby’s winky to stop him having and erection and in various sizes and positions. I picked up one of he devises and looked over to baby, 'do you like wearing these ’ I ask, 'looks very uncomfortable to me’, 'I’ve never worn them, I’ve never had anyone to chastise me, but I like the thought of it’, he said, I smile at him 'well maybe you’ll get to try them now baby’ I said, baby’s face lit up, 'I would love that mummy’ he said.

I look at the next shelve its was labelled, strap on’s, I pull open the shelf and if I hadn’t been surprised already, I now was shocked at what I found! Laid out on this shelf was strap on willies, some with willies on both ends, some on just one end, some small and some really long! There was also a row of but plugs again ranging in sizes, 'Wow baby, I’m shocked’ I said 'have you ever used these?’ I ask, 'no mummy again no one to use them with’ he says shyly. I am now finding this all a bit strange, having an adult baby who likes to wear nappies and plastic pants and wet himself is one thing and quite sweet and adorable, but this is a different thing altogether! I move to the next shelf.

This one is labelled stimulation, I pull open the shelf, again everything on the shelf is neatly laid out, there are a range of dildos, some battery powered others not, there are big ones, small ones, black ones and pink ones. 'why do you have these baby’ I ask? 'So mummy can have pleasure if I am in this state and chastised’ he answered, 'well it looks like you have thought of everything’ I reply 'so what’s on the last shelve’ I asked curiously.

The final shelve was labelled, baby things, here I found, baby food in jars, including chicken dinners, pasta meals and chocolate puddings plus baby bottles, plastic plates, bowls and spoons, milk cartons, more bibs, more wipes, more baby powders and lotions. 'Do you enjoy eating baby food’ I ask, 'never had it mummy, no one has ever been here to feed me’ he smirks. 'Well we will have to see about that, won’t we baby’ I smiled.

I pushed shut the shelves and shut the cupboard, I was struggling to take it all in and baby could tell, he came over and held me, 'it’s OK Mummy, I know this is new to you, I really am happy that you have stayed and changed me, we don’t have to do anything else, I just want to be with you’ he said reassuringly, 'thank you baby, I do enjoy being with you and I’m happy to be your mummy, how about one step at a time?’ I replied, 'sounds good to me’ baby said smiling. The rest of that day was spent, holding each other, feeling babies nappy while he wee’d, watching TV and enjoying our favourite food on our carpet picnic, it was lovely.

Chapter 3 - understanding the adult baby!

Over night despite finding an adults baby cot in the nursery, baby slept with me and due the weeing in the day, I had changed his nappy again before bedtime so he was clean and dry for his nights sleep! It was strange, baby usually tosses and turns all night, but last night he slept soundly in his nappy and so did I laying next to him!

It’s very early and I lay next to baby watching him as he sleeps, wondering what today would bring, am I ready for this I asked myself, can I be a good mother to this adult baby, I decided as baby was still soundly sleeping to go into the nursery again and have another look.

I quietly opened the door and went inside, if I am going to be babies mummy I need to try and understand all the things in here and get my head around why he likes them and wants to use them or why he wants me I use them on him! After seeing him sleeping, he obviously feels comfortable and relaxed in his nappy, so I’m understanding why he has such as stock of nappies, plastic pants, pins, creams and powders, it’s the cabinet of toys that I need to understand, I go over to the draws again! As I go nearer I see a row of books on the the top, I must have been so shocked about the draw contents to notice, their are baby books, abc, shapes, numbers etc. but there are adult baby books, books for mummies, the titles were, how to control your adult baby, punishment for naughty babies and understand the needs of an adult baby! Perfect I thought this i just what I need, I take the books and go over to the oversized rocking chair, sit down and start to read!

Snippets from the books:

1. It’s all about escapism, leaving the big bad world behind and hiding away in the nappy world.
2. Stress relief from high powered jobs, an adult who needs to escape away from the adult working world.
3. He is regressive. He is an Adult Baby, but more importantly, he is your partner.
4. The bond you can achieve with your baby is something most couples never encounter.
5. You also need to know what kind of baby he is to understand him, What does he like or dislike? What can he do and what can’t he? What are his fears and hopes? If you don’t or won’t identify him correctly as a baby, then you will probably fail at obtaining and maintaining a good Parent/Child relationship with him.
6. When you interact with your baby, you both acknowledge his existence and automatically communicate to him that you care.
7. No behaviour remains the same forever. No behaviour is intrinsically good or bad. As part of a decent Parent/Child relationship, we enhance and expand the good and we try to modify the bad. We discuss how to encourage some things, discourage others and allow other behaviours to appear and to flourish.
8. You alone hold the keys to helping your baby find solace and satisfaction in the hand that has been dealt to him.

As I read through the books, things become clearer, this baby needs looking after but he also needs discipline, structure, routine, humiliation, he wants to be punished for not being normal, he wants to be a sissy as this is ultimate humiliation. I also understand more about the sexual element of a mummy, adult baby relationship, we will still have sex, but this needs to be managed, babies can sometimes grow up after sex, so timing is key, they like to please their mummy before cumming as this can briefly end there need to be an adult baby, punishment can be very sexually pleasing for a mummy and baby can enjoy feeling inadequate as mummy pleasures herself at his expense! Toys can help you to achieve this and can be enjoyable for both mummy and baby! Well I had learnt a lot and I have lots of things to think about. I go over to the draws again and admire all the toys and imagine the pain, the humiliation, the control I could have and of course the pleasure! The thoughts going through my head were exciting me, I definitely want to be this babies mummy!

Chapter 4 -Mummy learns about pleasure without sex!

I go through the chastity shelf and take out a willy devise, this stops baby’s winky from growing and gives him pain if it does, there is a lock and key with it, I take of my necklace and thread the key onto it, this will remind baby who’s in control, I think to myself. I am intrigued as to how the strap on’s feel, I have used dildoes before but never a strap on, do I dare try! I quickly look in on baby and he is still fast asleep, I creep back into the nursery, I pull down my white lacy panties take a medium sized strap on and lubricate it with the lubrication which is conveniently laid next to it, baby has thought of everything, I slide the female side of a double ended strap deep into my looly, it’s girth is wide and its length is long, it’s is hard, much harder than a mans willy, but it feels good and hits me in all the sensitive places. I attached the straps around my waist and move over to admire myself and the winky in the mirror!

As I’m looking at myself, I hear the nursery door slowly opening, I heart drops, I grab a terry nappy the nearest thing to hand and cover myself up, baby comes in and seems happy with what he sees, 'do you have a winky mummy under that nappy?’ he says, 'yes baby I do’ I reply 'I just wanted to try it’, 'can I see please mummy’ he asks, I move the terry nappy away and stand in front of baby in just my short nighty, showing the strap on to him, baby moves towards me, 'does mummy like wearing that?’ he asks, 'I’ve never worn one before baby, it does feel nice inside me’ I reply, baby comes up to me and kisses me, 'I like it on you mummy’ he says, he then hold the winky and as he touches it and moves it about, I can feel it pushing harder inside me, the feeling is great and thoroughly enjoyable, baby continues to hold the winky and moves it around, while he kisses me, 'have I been a good baby’ he asks, 'yes baby you have, you slept well’ I reply, 'but I’ve wet myself mummy, don’t you think I need punishing?’ he asks, 'do you want me to treat you like a girl baby’ I ask surprised by his questions, 'I would like that a lot mummy, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet, think it would be too painful without prior stretching’ he whispers.

'I would like to take mummy back to bed and provide her with pleasure, that’s what babies do, they pleasure there mummy and in return mummy pleasures them by keeping them in nappies and plastic pants’ he says, 'I know baby, I have been reading all about it in the books you have’ I replied, baby looks pleased, 'you’ve been reading my books, I am pleased, did you learn a lot’ he asks, 'yes baby loads, it’s been an interesting morning so far’ I replied. Baby seems excited by what I have said, he guides me back to the bedroom, lifts up and removes my nighty, lays me on the bed, wear I lay naked apart from the strap on. Baby lays next to me and holds and gently moves the winky which feels wonderful inside me, he then starts to kiss and suck my nipples, the feelings inside me grows with excitement, baby carries on and seems to be getting pleasure from what he is doing, I slide my hand down to his nappy, I can feel his throbbing winky through his nappy and plastic pants, I start to rub his plastic pants, feeling his winky and I slide my hand up and down his nappy, putting pressure on his winky as I move. Both of us groan with pleasure and happiness, baby continues to play with my strap on and suck my boobies and I continue to rub his nappy. Soon both of us are filled with excitement and come together, the feeling was amazing. Who would have thought it!

Chapter 5 - adult baby shopping!

I remove the strap on and we lay together cuddling each other for a while, it was lovely, 'is everything OK mummy’ baby suddenly asks, 'yes baby why’ I reply, 'I just want to make sure that you are happy with what’s happening between us, you becoming my mummy and me being your baby’ he said, 'well it has been an interesting few days, I will say that, but yes I have thoroughly enjoyed our time together and from what I have seen in the books I looked at this morning, our time could get more interesting’ I reply, 'what do you mean’ baby asks, 'well, from what I understand, there’s more to being an adult baby than just wearing a nappy and plastic pants and wetting yourself, there is the humiliation part, being treated like a sissy, the need to be punished for what you are, I expect our relationship will change as we move forward with this, taking one step at a time of course!’, 'oh mummy’ baby holds me, 'I am so happy, I can’t believe how well you are excepting me, I love you’ he said, I love you, not sure that I’m quite ready for that I think to myself, I have a lot of feelings for this guy, but with all these changes to our relationship going on, I’m not ready to express my full feelings yet, I smile back at baby and say 'I’m glad you do baby, now let’s discuss the punishment part of this relationship’, how far do you want to go with this’, 'all the way’, he replies, 'OK, one step at a time, do you have any sissy dresses?’ I ask, 'no mummy I’ve never had the courage to go shopping for any, the toys I have I ordered through the Internet and had delivered, but I don’t understand the sizing for sissy clothes’, 'what about but plugs, how are you going to take my strap on, I guess some stretching needs to happen’ I reply, baby screws up his face, 'I guess so mummy, but that will be painful’ he flinches, 'yes baby but one step at a time, one size at a time and it could be worth it in the end’ I smile at baby and he nods his head, 'right, where do we go shopping for adult baby clothes?’ I ask, 'there is a shop in Oxford called Sissy Janes, but I’ve never feared to go in it’ he replies, 'well how about we get up, get cleaned up then I’ll put you in a nappy, insert the smallest of your but plugs into your bottom then I’ll take you out for breakfast and then we can go shopping at Sissy Janes’, baby’s face beams, 'would you really do that for me mummy’, 'yes baby I reply, I will!’ Baby gives me a big hug, then we get ready.

I’m up, showered and ready, baby is up, showered and waiting patiently for me to put him in a nappy and plastic pants! I put on a pair of disposable gloves and lay a clean terry nappy on the changing table then I lay baby on top of it, I put plenty of baby powered on his special parts then I start to lubricate the small but plug as well as two of my fingers, baby starts squirming, 'I’m not sure about this mummy’ he says, 'it fine baby, I have used plenty of lubrication, I’ll be gentle, I’m going to start with my fingers and see how we go. Once ready, I lift up babies legs asking him to hold them in the air, I then hold babies bum cheeks apart with one hand, which reveals his bum hole (sissy hole) then I slide one of my fingers into babies bottom, baby lets and a small, but enjoyable moan, 'how’s that’ I ask, 'surprisingly lovely mummy’ he replies, I slide another of my fingers inside him, 'oh mummy that’s nice’ Baby looks really happy and his willy also seems happy! I slide my fingers in and out of his bottom to relax him and make sure he is well lubricated, 'mummy this is lovely and really exciting’ baby says, 'well all seems good in there, all very soft and relaxed’ I slowly pull my fingers out pick up the but plug and start to slowly push it inside babies bottom, baby’s moans change from a pleasure to pain, 'no mummy’ he cries 'it’s too big’, 'don’t be silly baby this is the smallest one we have, we have many more sizes to go over the next few days’ I reply, 'now take a deep breath for me’ baby does as he is told and relax’ I say, as baby relaxes I force the plug deep inside him, baby lets out a small cry and his willy I notice flops back to its original size, I find myself strangely turned on by the pain I am inflicting and the cries he makes! I let him relax his legs and I fix the nappy tightly in place with the huge baby pins that he has, then I choose a clear pair of plastic pants and he is all set. He gets up and squirms more, I’m not sure I can take this mummy, 'yes you can I tell him and you will, now go and finish getting dressed for me so we can go out’, baby smiles back at me and waddles off in his nappy to get sorted. Once were all set, we head out for breakfast.

I drive to Oxford and find Sissy Janes, opposite the shop is a cafe, we park the car and baby waddles along the road holding my hand, 'this is so uncomfortable mummy’ he says, 'I know, I can tell, you look ridiculous, how humiliating’ I reply, baby smiles back at me. At the cafe I choose a table in the window giving us full view of the shop, 'well sit her baby, we will be able to see what sort of people and hopefully babies visit Sissy Janes!

We order breakfast and wait, a lady then comes out of the shop and puts up a poster on the shop window, it reads 'models wanted for sissy baby event and all sissy dresses 20% off’, it’s your luck day baby, discounted sissy dresses and maybe you could be a model for Jane’, baby scowls at me across the table! 'I do not want to be a model, I only want to be your baby, I don’t want other people to see me! Baby says angrily! I laugh which doesn’t go down well, from what I have read a baby needs to be humiliated, what would be more humiliating than being seen in public as a sissy baby?’ I ask, 'true, but I’m not sure I’m happy about that, he replies’, 'you don’t have to be happy baby, you have to be humiliated’ I laugh more and baby starts to laugh with me.

Our breakfast is served, 'maybe next time baby I’ll order you porridge and I’ll feed you across the table with a baby spoon, maybe Sissy Jane sells bibs’ I say, baby looks at me and smiles 'your getting right into this, aren’t you mummy’ he smiles, 'I am baby, the more I read this morning, the more I liked’ I reply.

While we eat our food, with knifes and forks this time, a lady arrives at Sissy Janes, she looks nervous, she looks in the window at the displays and poster, then looks around as if to see if anyone is looking and looks straight at me, I turn away and she quickly goes into the shop. Then a couple arrive and look In the window pointing and discussing the poster, from their mannerisms it looks like the lady is in charge, so I’m guessing another Mummy and Baby couple, they also go inside!

'Eat up baby, I want to go and see what Sissy Jane has to offer us’ I say encouraging baby to hurry up and finish, I pay the bill and we leave, I hold babies hand as we walk across the street to the shop, 'I’m nervous’ baby says, 'it will be fine, I’m with you, it will be interesting, I’m intrigued to she what she sells’ I reply, as I open the door the lady we saw earlier hurried out, clutching a large bag of shopping, she looked embarrassed and rushed off, I smile at baby, 'well she looks like she’s had a successful shop’ I say and we go in. Inside the store is fully of baby things, there are rails of all sorts of baby clothes, including, rompers, dresses and vests with gusset clips, then there are displays of but plugs, strap on’s (all sizes)’ chastity devises (all sizes), catheters, hand cuffs and other restraining devises, there was prams, pushchairs, cots, changing tales, all in adult sizes, perfect for adult babies. 'Wow, this is great’ I smile at baby and he smiles back, a lady walks towards us, 'good morning’ she says 'welcome to Sissy Janes, have you been before’ she asks, 'no’ I reply this is our first visit, 'what are you looking for today?’ She asks, 'sissy dresses please’ I reply, 'perfect’ she says 'follow me’, she takes us two some rails full of sissy dresses in all sizes, there were pink ones, yellow ones, white ones, blue ones, some with matching frilly pants and some with matching bonnets, 'this I think is what your looking for, there is a sizing chart here’ she points out, 'and today is our special event for sissy babies, if you model for me, allowing me to take photos for my catalogue in your chosen outfits, then I will give you 20% of all your purchases!’, 'sounds great’ I replied, baby gives me a death stare, 'come on baby it will be fun’ I say, 'for you maybe’ baby replies, Jane and myself chuckle, 'help yourself to the clothes’ Jane says and use this changing area to try them on, there is a nappy changing table in there as well if baby needs a nappy change’ she says, baby looks embarrassed, 'thank you’ I reply, 'well have fun and happy shopping’ she calls as she wonders back towards the tills.

'Wow, this is brilliant baby, your own changing room, complete with changing table’ I said to baby, he smiled, 'now you stay here I’m going to choose some outfits for you to try on’. I walk to the rail and pick four different sissy dresses, two pink, one yellow and one white, on my way back to the changing room, I spot the couple who we had seen entering the store from the cafe, they were also using one of the changing rooms and the mummy had a sissy dress in her arms, 'morning’ I said politely, the mummy smiled at me and said 'morning, sissy dress shopping too I see, do you have your sissy baby with you?’ She asked, I stopped to answer her 'yes, baby is in the changing room’, she proceeded to open the changing room curtain to show me her baby, he was standing there in a pink frilly dress with matching bonnet, the dress was just short enough so I could see that he was wearing a small nappy and plastic pants, as soon as the baby saw me he grabbed the curtain and hid, 'sorry the mummy said, he’s shy, are you new to this’ she asked, 'it’s just that you look surprised to see my adult baby’, 'yes’ I replied, but I’m enjoying it’ I said, 'are you free after your shop’ she asked 'maybe we could grab a coffee and share notes’, 'sounds great’ I replied, 'how about we meet you in the cafe opposite’ I suggested, 'perfect’ she said, 'we haven’t eaten so we will go over and get some food and you can join us when your ready, give you time to shop as we are nearly finished’ she said, 'that’s would be great’ I replied, then the babies can meet! She chuckled, 'baby will like that, see you in a while’ she said and walked into her changing room. I returned to baby, who was looking cross, he whispered to me so the other couple couldn’t hear 'why have you arranged to meet them, I don’t want to meet another baby’ he said crossly, 'it will be fun, we could learn a thing or two’ I replied, 'I’m not happy’ baby said, 'well I’m your mummy and you will do as I say, now get those adult clothes off, we have come here to try on sissy dresses’ I replied loudly so all could hear! 'OK mummy’ baby replied, 'I like it when you get strict with me’ he relaxed, gave me a smile and removed his adult clothes, this of course revealed his nappy, 'let me just check your nappy baby’, I felt babies nappy to see if it was wet, it wasn’t, 'I don’t need a wee yet mummy, I have been good, I am dry’ baby said, 'just checking baby, I’m sure you’ll need a wee soon after all you had a drink with your breakfast’ I smiled, 'now let’s get these dresses on you’.

As soon as we had baby dressed in a pink sissy dress with matching bonnet, Jane came over, 'are you OK in there’ she called, 'yes we are fine thank you’ I replied, baby looked scared, 'is baby in a sissy dress, can I have a photo please?’ she asked, baby shook his head, I smiled and whispered, 'come on this could fun’, 'no’ said baby, 'well I’m in charge and I say yes’, I called out to Jane as I opened the curtain 'that will be fine, here’s sissy baby in a lovely pink number’, Jane smiled and very looked pleased, baby looked embarrassed and angry, 'don’t worry sissy baby’ Jane said 'I will disguise your face, we’ll pull down your bonnet a bit and you can suck this oversized dummy, this will hide more of your face’ Jane grabbed babies hand and led him in to the main shop to where she had a green screen waiting, she stood baby in front of it, pulled down the bonnet and gave baby a large dummy to suck, 'now just turn a little this way for me’ she asked moving baby into position, 'there she said perfect, no one will ever know it was you’, baby looked at me and smiled, he suddenly seemed relaxed, maybe he was starting to enjoy being dressed as a sissy and all the attention, good job really as soon we had an audience! There was another couple of people, this time from the look of the padding the lady was wearing under her adult skirt, she was the baby, they must have been shopping in the store as they had a basket of goods, I could see that this baby was in for some punishment as they had a whip, hand cuffs, leather straps and paddle in their basket, they looked at baby, 'what a pretty dress, suits your baby’ the man said turning to smile at me, 'thank you’ I replied, 'are you shopping for dresses?’ I ask, 'not today, we have plenty, it’s punishment things we are shopping for’, he lifts his basket to show me, 'I can see that’ I smile! 'Right’ Jane says 'can we have another outfit please’, baby hurries back to the changing room, 'I guess we are happy with that idea’ I say to Jane and follow baby to the changing room. 'I don’t like all these people watching me mummy’ baby said, 'is OK baby’ I said reassuringly, 'they think you look lovely and very sissy, Jane loves you in her dresses, now come on this is fun, let’s get you changed’, 'it’s humiliating having those people looking at me’ he said, 'I know’ I replied 'it’s great isn’t it?’ I smiled at baby and he gave me a little smile back!

After that baby really enjoyed being a model and the humiliation of people seeing him in different sissy dresses, Jane took lots of pictures give baby props every time to make the pictures more baby like, she had large baby rattles and teddy bears for baby to hold, she put him in matching bonnets, bibs and even putting on baby matching frilly pants for some of the outfits, I could see baby getting turned on when Jane slid up his legs the frilly pants! I watched with other shoppers enjoying the attention baby was getting and at times the humiliation baby was receiving, every time a new shopper came to look, baby tried to hide his face more, it was great, I was thoroughly enjoying the experience! When we had tried on all the outfits I had chosen and all the photos had been taken, we went back to the changing room to get sorted, 'well baby that was an experience that you didn’t expect wasn’t it?’ I asked, 'yes mummy’ baby replied 'I really enjoyed it, but was scared at times that people could see my face, didn’t like that bit too much’, I laughed 'humiliation baby, get used to it’ I replied. We chose two sissy dresses, one yellow with of course matching bonnet and frilly over pants and one white which was really frilly and sissy looking, again with matching bonnet and pants. We then looked around the shop at the other items, baby already had quite a few of the items Jane had for sale, but we did pick up some restraints, both hands and feet, they were like cuffs for each wrist and ankle, but with a bar in between them so it would keep babies legs and arms apart! I then suggested to baby that we get a changing bag so I could carry spare nappies and plastic pants with me when we are out in case of accidents, baby gave me a big smile and hug, 'mummy you are making me so happy’ he said, we choose a pretty pink and very practical changing bag. When we had done, we went to the till to pay, Jane rang up our things and gave us the 20% discount, 'thank you so much’ she said to us both 'I struggle to get models, babies can be so shy’ she continued and passed us a folder, 'this is for you as a thank you, it contains all the best photos of you today, I hope you like them, they will be in my next catalogue, now if you leave me you address, I’ll send you a copy when it’s printed’, baby looked embarrassed, 'thank you’ I said taking the folder 'that will be great’, I paid our bill and we left Sissy Janes

Been thinking about what I want to get out of the next coming year and as I make plans for each part of my life that I’m trying to find harmony in, I find that it’s important to stay checking myself and not letting pettiness be the motivating factor or driving force behind how I move and what I do going forward.

Ultimately, I don’t care if folks notice later what they can’t see now, it doesn’t matter who might validate the space im creating for myself after it’s done. If I do things right, at the end of each journey all that will matter is that I told myself that I could, and I did, and I continued on after the fact.

I think I finally understand what I need and right now it’s all of myself for myself.

I’m only a few hours into Samus Returns, but there’s already been multiple occasions where I’ve done an infinite Bomb Jump just because I forgot I have the Spider Ball, and I don’t know what that says about me.

The results are in:

So much for “could be a vocal minority”! I’ve been paying attention to the poll results through these 24 hours, and I don’t think I ever saw “before” at more than 11.12%.

So here’s the deal: From now on, Interludes will be treated as part of the Arc they’re following, for the purposes of not only Arc thoughts, but also tags and the Tebble of Constants.

This is partially because it seems like that’s how you guys view the Interludes, and partially so that people reading via the Arc tags get things in the correct order. It also happens to solve a minor issue with the tagging of asks that get answered in between Interludes and the following Arc, which is nice.

So yeah, I’m not sure if I’m going to apply this change retroactively, but at least that’s how I’m doing this going forward.

I have successfully moved! It’s a bit of a.. fixer upper to be polite, but at least the stress of moving is over and done with. 

This page marks the end of chapter two and the one year celebration of The Story of Lain! I’ll be taking my usual chapter break but instead of one week, it may be between two weeks and a month. Just a heads up. 

I want to work on my thumbnails and my script, I want to work on comic related things that aren’t actual pages but most importantly, I want to figure out how I want to do this going forward! 

After one whole year, I am starting to get a better feeling of what I can handle and how I like to do things, and the way it is now.. well, it’s not working out for me so something has to change. Trouble is, I’m not sure what. :p 

I’d be less vague but I still feel really.. weird about sharing personal information online, you’know?