how do i even tag woody

cantstopmysignal  asked:

For the character thingy, what about Duncan Kane ? And then, Dick Casablancas if you have the time! :)

You are vaguely evil, you know that?

This took a long time because damn it was hard. 

(Like, really long. Like, I’m really sorry it took me this long - I lost it for a while in my drafts folder.)

OKAY THEN!

Duncan Kane:

Why I like them: You know, I really like how Duncan loved Lilly. It doesn’t seem like a lot, loving your sister, but I do honestly believe that he gave Lilly the unconditional love she craved and that she deserved. And he was actually proactive in his attempts to protect her, like when he told their parents the limo party had been his idea. He loved Lilly, and her cared about Lilly, and he took care of Lilly - to the best of his ability.

Why I don’t: He’s an incredibly passive character who always seems surprised when he’s called out on it? Plus breaking up with Veronica without actually breaking up with her? Plus sleeping with her at Shelly Pomeroy’s party and deciding on his own that they’d both come to the conclusion to never talk about it? When his reason for not talking about it was that he thought she was his sister? Yeah. All that. And his seeming inability to empathize with other people. Also, his firm belief in compartmentalization.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Probably Return of the Kane. He doesn’t want to be student council president. He has no interest in politics. But when he wins, after it’s been pointed out to him that he ‘stand[s] idly by’, he changes the way the Pirate Points are awarded in ways that are more fair. 

Favorite season/movie: Season 1, because at least for the majority of it my dislike is just dislike and not seething hatred.

Favorite line: “They only had -“

Because I do like a harried Duncan who was sent out to procure ice cream for a screaming child.

Favorite outfit: … Pass.

NO! NO! The matching boxers with Logan! That outfit. Because I like the idea that someone - Lilly, Veronica, Lilly & Veronica? - bought both of them the boxers and that at Christmas, the two of them tend to wear the boxers because it reminds them of better times.

OTP: None? I don’t think Duncan would be a good boyfriend for anyone, at least not where we left him in-show.

Brotp: I guess Logan but I don’t think Logan gets a lot out of the whole deal.

Head Canon: Duncan Kane grows up as the favorite. It’s easy, because he has Lilly to fight his battles for him. Lilly to take the attention off of him. Lilly to broker deals and to plan plans and to say, “Gawd, guys, he’s just a kid” even when he’s no longer a kid. He has Lilly to point out that you can’t even be elected president until you’re 35, so maybe he should get to think about other things when he’s 15. He has Lilly.

And then he doesn’t.

He doesn’t, and he doesn’t have someone who will be by his side, no matter what. He doesn’t have that buffer between him and his parents. He doesn’t have that person he can look to when they’re making ridiculous demands or just being his parents. It’s worse than losing a limb, losing Lilly. She was his sister and one of his best friends and the person who understood him and knew all of his secrets - and now he has none of that. He’s a brother, but he’s not. 

It’s a weight he can’t bare, being a brother to no one. It wears on him, drags him down. Lilly kept him awake and solid. Called him Donut and made him move. And he can’t depend on Logan to do that, because Logan doesn’t know - can’t know. He can’t depend on anyone to do that. He could only depend on Lilly - to keep him going, to keep his secrets, to be his confidante.

He gets his second chance with his daughter. With Lilly. He names her that, because he wakes up again. He finally wakes up again. He takes her, and he runs, and he promises himself (he promises Lilly, both of them) that he will be the parent both of his Lillys deserve, the one his sister didn’t get. He promises himself that he’ll keep moving for this Lilly. She won’t know all of his secrets. She won’t be his confidante. But he’ll be hers. She’ll keep him awake and solid, and he’ll help her live - and he’ll keep her alive.

He regales her with tales of his sister, of Veronica, of Logan. Limo parties and days at the beach. He only tells her about the best of them. He leaves out the hurts, the pain. He wants her to see the world the way he wishes they all could have - without broken parents and broken homes and broken hearts. He wants to keep her heart whole for as long as he can.

He doesn’t breathe until after she turns 17. He doesn’t full exhale until that milestone is passed. And it almost feels like everything he’s carried with him since his sister was ripped from him fades away. This Lilly isn’t like his sister - not really. She’s just as gorgeous. Just as vivacious. But her big eyes aren’t roaming around, looking for a safe space. She doesn’t have the urge to take up all the space in the room, just to make sure she’s seen. She takes up all the space in the room, because she’s Lilly - that’s what she does. He sees her off to prom knowing that she’ll get there. And if she doesn’t, he knows she’ll be home in the morning. He knows she’ll be smiling. 

Unpopular opinion: I think Duncan raped Veronica. I guess that might be one. I think Duncan and Veronica, at Shelly’s party, exist in this very real, very frightening part of the world where a girl can be raped and a guy can thoroughly believe that it was consensual.

A wish: I really hope Duncan is just the best father ever. I hope he does everything that his parents didn’t do for his sister Lilly. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Never come back, Duncan. Never come back. 

5 words to best describe them: Dull, unmotivated, self-centered, quiet, boring

My nickname for them: Donut. When I mean “dumb ass”. 

Dick Casablancas

Why I like them: I like the part of Dick we were shown in the movie - the guy who is chronically depressed and has low self esteem and is probably haunted by some of his misdeeds - even if there are other deeds he has done that he wouldn’t count among those. 

Why I don’t: He’s basically rape culture personified. He gropes women and then reacts poorly when they have taken steps to protect themselves. He drugs (or tries to) his unwitting girlfriend. He talks compares girls fake breasts and unattractive horses that will let him ride bareback. He’s abusive to his little brother because he doesn’t embody masculinity in the way Dick understands. At best, he’s a proto-rapist, if Shelly Pomeroy’s party was the first and last time he tried to drug Madison in order to sleep with her and the last time he presented an unconscious girl (or any girl) for the Beav’s or anyone else’s raping pleasure. At worst, he’s a rapist, if he did drug Madison or get her drunk specifically to sleep with her. And the show doesn’t deal with any of that. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m going to go with the Words with Friends-Most people just call it texting scene from the movie, because there is no episode where I appreciate Dick and I do really love that moment. Because he recognizes who Veronica is and - with minimal snark - works to tell her the truth. 

Favorite season/movie: The Veronica Mars Movie, because I actually felt for him during it. A lot.

Favorite line: “Medicine, man. I got my card. Chronic depression. You wouldn’t think, huh? Mmm. I can feel my self worth coming back right now.”

In that one line, Dick got more dimensions than the entire time he was on the show. And the way Ryan Hansen played it was brilliant.

Favorite outfit: The suit he wears to the reunion and to Gia Goodman’s party. Because omg does he look good in the suit (people may be thankful Logan’s style evolved, but I’m really happy that Dick’s did).

OTP: No one. As of yet, I would not wish Dick Casablancas on anyone.

Brotp: Logan. Which, again, is sad for Logan because other than utter loyalty he doesn’t get much out of the deal.

Head Canon: Dick Casablancas learns at his father’s knee and his mother’s indifference.

He learns how to shoot, because his father approves. He learns how to surf, how to ogle women, how to pick on the weak, because his dad shows him how. It’s the way to get undivided attention. It’s the way to not get picked on, ribbed, and generally neglected. There were years where he wasn’t that. When he’d fall down and cry, and his father would laugh at him and his mother would roll her eyes.

So he learned not to cry.

Cassidy never learned those lessons. When they were growing up, he always wondered how the Beav could be so school smart and family dumb. Why he couldn’t just stop doing all the stupid shit that would get him mocked and pushed down and then left behind. He thought Beaver had to be so stupid as to not be able to just stop, to care more about whatever it was he cared about than bulking up and doing little league and being the All American Son that Dick Sr. wanted him to be too. And he tried to toughen him up and when that didn’t work he just started harassing him too. Because Dick had to grow up tough, so why shouldn’t Beaver?

But then Beaver jumped off a building, and his parents were gone, and everything stops being so funny. That time he taped Beav’s feet to the pedals? That thing his dad and him laughed and laughed about and brought up at every family gathering? It starts to pull at him. Everything about Beaver, everything he missed, everything Beav never told him, starts tearing at him.

He drinks a lot, until medical marijuana gets legalized. And then he smokes a lot. Chronic depression. Because he could have helped Beav. At least, he thinks he could have. He could have done things differently. He could have done more to protect him. He could have gone after Woody Goodman himself, taught him a lesson for touching his brother. He could have been around, and made it so Beav wasn’t a target. He could have stopped calling him Beaver, which is something so ingrained that he can’t even stop doing now.

It sucks, how he looks back and how he still can’t figure out how he never figured it out. He thought they were close, and really he never knew what was happening. He thought he was just an older brother, but he was just another person who let Cassidy down. And it sucks, because he doesn’t know if he could do any better now. 

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think Dick’s very funny. Or really at all.

A wish: I would love it if the series actually dealt with the badness inherent in Dick, and made him into a character I could stomach as a main character as opposed to a character that makes me cringe.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Do not let Dick and Mac get together, ever.

5 words to best describe them: Skeezy, entitled, sexist, simple, and athletic. 

My nickname for them: Dick. I don’t really have anything other than that. Ryan Hansen is a cutie, so I can’t even fall back on fuckface or anything because then I have Ryan Hansen guilt.

anonymous asked:

The happenings at Hollywood have reminded me of my guilty pleasure, “The Pianist”. I think Polanski and Brody are reprehensible men, but I loved the movie they created. By comparison, “American Beauty” has been permanently tarnished for me and I can’t take it seriously. In your experience as a nerd and artist, how do you separate the art from the person? (sorry for the rambling, I just love your blog and your wacky anons over here. Thank you)

You know, as far as movies go, I’ve never found that to be particularly difficult. I watched Woody Allen’s Sleeper for the first time on the recommendation of @pichikui last year and that had me reeling. I can still watch Kubrick—Dr. Strangelove is constantly fighting for my absolute favorite movie spot—without thinking too much about how he made his films. Same goes for Alfred Hitchcock and probably every other director and actor out there. I can just sort of…keep those two things separate. I guess it’s because I can’t see hints of what they did in their work…most of it, anyway.

However, when it comes to books, probably because i have a lot more time to sit with them and consume them…I can’t pick up an Orson Scott Card novel ever again despite Ender’s Game being my second favorite childhood book; the first is and always will be Hitchhiker’s Guide. This also applies to comics, as anything with the names Frank Miller, Marc Andreyko, Brian Azzarello, Nick Spencer, Greg Land and a couple more essentially raise my blood pressure.

I…hope that answers your question? I mean the answer is “don’t think about it”, which defeats the purpose of consuming media on a couple levels, yeah, but still. Sometimes you just like something and you can’t really stop from liking it.