how did you even do that

Tom: *holds up a broken mug* So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Sam: I did. I broke it…

Tom: No. No, you didn’t. Harry?

Harry: Don’t look at me. Look at Harrison.

Harrison: What?! I didn’t break it.

Harry: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Harrison: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Harry: Suspicious.

Harrison: No, it’s not!

Harry: If it matters, probably not…Paddy was the last one to use it.

Paddy: Liar! I don’t even drink that stuff!

Harry: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?!

Paddy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Harry!

Sam: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Tom.

Tom: No. Who broke it?

Harry: [whispering] Tom, Harrison’s been awfully quiet…

Harrison: Really?!

Harry: Yeah, really!

Tom: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it.

  • Chryssa: Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
  • Liz: I did. I broke it.
  • Chryssa: No, no you didn't. Akarsha?
  • Akarsha: Don't look at me. Look at Noelle.
  • Noelle: What? I didn't break it.
  • Akarsha: Huh, that's weird, how'd you even know it was broken?
  • Noelle: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
  • Akarsha: Suspicious.
  • Noelle: No, it's not!
  • Diya: If it matters, probably not, but Ester was the last one to use it.
  • Ester: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Diya: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Ester: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Diya!
  • Liz: Okay, okay, let's not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it, Chryssa.
  • Chryssa: No. Who broke it?
  • Noelle: Chryssa... Min's been awfully quiet.
  • Min: REALLY?
  • Noelle: Yeah, really!
  • Chryssa: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Good Pet

pairing: Ivar, Harald x Reader

fandom: vikings

warnings: smut, oral

@nekodemon73 @kumpmk @bookswillfindyouaway @mads—world @lj-laufeypevensieweasley @archer-whovian-violinist @sugakookiexx @nightmares-are-daydreams


“How’s my good girl doing?” Harald moved the hair out of your face as he spoke, grabbing your hair into a ponytail while you sat on your knees before him. 

The great hall was empty at this hour, people seldom even came in here without being invited in the first place. So when you heard the door opening, your heart dropped in your stomach. 

Harald had a very special way of dealing with disobedience, at least with you that was. You doubted his men received the same treatment. While you didn’t mind serving your king, you did mind other people watching you suck King Harald’s cock on your knees. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

do you have an updated fic rec list? even not necessarily shyan - just bfu or buzzfeed fics u really love

Late Night by juniperProse

“This was it. This was how he would die. A wolf broke into his home and ate him. Or, at the very least, chewed on his bones until it got bored and moved on to its next victim. Fuck.

A small voice told him the wolf didn’t break in, you basically LET IT IN, idiot, and hey wait how the fuck did a wolf manage to get up to his apartment when it was on the /third floor/, and as he was distracted with his thoughts, he tripped on his rug and fell on his ass, hard.”

Four Down, One to Go by sunshinewinchesters

Ryan is sick and Shane is having a really shitty week.

contrapposto by spoopyy

Ryan works in a museum. Shane doesn’t understand art. They fall in love.

i’ll hold your hand (but only if you want me to) by cactsu

“When you, uh… when you called me babe, I… I kind of liked it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess I should do it more often, then,” Shane turned to lock eyes with Ryan, something dark and sultry in his eyes. “Babe.”

$22 Friend Date VS $1,160 Friend Date by EAST (WESTAGE)

Ryan goes on a series of dates with Shane. Friend-dates. For a video, of course. Nothing else.

“Oh god, they’re definitely in love.”

The Ghost Of You Is Close To Me by skepticseptic (PsychoNyx)

Character A is a spirit medium that has the ability to see and communicate with spirits – the problem with this is that Character A has started to develop a crush on Character B, one of the friendlier spirits that comes to visit Character A.


the best kind of problem by halfwheeze

notes on coffee cups, awkward introductions, and the essential nature of emojis.

monochrome. by boysandghouls

Steven was silver, and though Andrew had hated being grey, he’d been shown that to be “monochrome” was okay.


swimming in our sins again by halfwheeze

Your ao3 says to leave you prompts so um, zagene: “Are you flirting with me?” “Have been for the past x years but thanks for noticing,” with Eugene as the flirter

if you’re driving, i’m down. by alvaughn

He doesn’t go out of his way to wax poetic about people he likes, he doesn’t throw rose petals onto a mattress for anyone just because he thinks it’ll be romantic. That’s not Eugene Lee Yang.

But, he does have to admit that the world halts momentarily in the moment Zach asks to kiss him.

Star vs Marco

so i been reading the comments and searching, you guys are right

i forgot about this mothe******

“you never get rid of me im part of you now”

he will back i can feel it

and remember that one new antagonist that is rooting for Marco

and eclipsa will not happy about how his daughter had to live.

and she know how important is Marco to Star, maybe she will manipulate or more simple, do a spell on him

and when i was seeing my photoshop image

even the colors, Star blue and Marco red

(yeah look awesome)

i was like a skull in “o” for evil or… wait

mexico its so popular with his skulls (i love them)

so the “marco” in the title get more sense (spooky)

and i made this little doodle

“how did all end like this…” 

“you tell me…”

anonymous asked:

Based on some fan art I found on tumblr (sorry I forgot who the artist is😖) what would the UT, UF, and SF skelebros do if they were chillen with there long time s/o when all of a sudden there souls pop out of there chest ,merge together and form A BABY!?,THERE BABY!? Out of thin air bonus if there brother witnesses it

UT Sans: He freezes, staring at the child in his lap. that’s how you make babies? No, wait, that can’t be. What happened?! He will just stare at this baby until you say something.

UT Papyrus: Screams and throws the baby into the air. Catches the baby. Baby starts crying. Papyrus starts almost crying. Instead screams quietly, and slowly. Why and how and where and when. What happened?

UF Sans: What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck!? Where did this baby come from? You were just sitting here. You weren’t even doing anything. For god sake, he doesn’t even want children! What is he supposed to do ahhhH!!!

UF Papyrus: Oh…yes of course. This was completely planned. The great and terrible Papyrus knows exactly how to make babies and….no this wasn’t planned! What happened!? Don’t just stand there, help him! He is not a safe place to rest a baby on!!

SF Sans: Sans screams. Baby screams. Baby cries. Sans cries. What the heck? Human, what did you do? It couldn’t have been his mistake, he doesn’t make mistakes! What is this!?

SF Papyrus: He was a scientist. This is not how you make babies. That is not how you make babies! He screams on the inside while staying cool on the outside, trying to solve this whole thing somehow. Sometimes the inside seeps out though. He just want’s to sleep, what the hell is this, he is too tired and done for this, please just let him sleep for about a year or two.

Witchcraft 101: Substitution

This is a post on the theory behind substitution, as well as some pointers on how to substitute and what to do if you aren’t sure what you can and can’t substitute in a spell. 


Why substitute?

So most newbie witches start with spells that other people have written for their first few spells - I certainly did! The problem is, as a newbie witch, you probably don’t have all the ingredients that are used in a particular spell. Even more experienced witches often substitute when using other people’s spells, when they run out of something at 10pm and the local supermarket is closed, or when a spell calls for something rare and expensive and there’s no way I’m spending £5 on something I’ll never use again. You might also have allergies or intolerances to certain ingredients.


How does substitution work?

Substitution is generally viewed as okay, but not ideal, because the substitution doesn’t carry exactly the same intent as the original ingredient. I disagree. 

To start with, this post by @stormheartedvamp basically explains my views on how magic works. Essentially, I believe that magic works because everything has energy. Some things have specific energies, basically because lots of people believe they’re good at that thing. But your belief, and your associations, is what brings that intent and makes it into a spell. In practice, that means that your beliefs and correspondences override other views in terms of your practice

How does this work with substitution? Well, say we’re doing a love spell, which calls for rose petals. Maybe you think that rose petals work better for protection or prosperity or luck, and you don’t associate them at all with love. So, you’ll use something that you do associate with love. The substituted ingredient isn’t at all inferior or less powerful, because it’s still something that carries the intent of the spell. In fact, the substituted ingredient is more powerful, because it will be better at helping you focus on your intent than an ingredient that you don’t associate with the intent of the spell.


General substitutions

You might see posts for basic items or general substitutions. These tend to be items that are commonly used as a catch-all for any ingredient that you don’t have or can’t use. (Sage for any herb, white candles for any candle, quartz for any crystal etc are all common substitutes.) I’d recommend figuring out your own “catch-all” ingredients - you might want something that you associate with one or more of the following:

  • magical powers (to empower your spell)
  • clarity/understanding (to help you understand the implications of your spell and how it might work/how to help it work better)
  • growth (to grow the power of your spell)
  • success (to help the spell succeed)
  • luck (to give your spell an extra boost).

What if you can’t substitute?

So, generally, you can’t substitute if you don’t know why something is in a spell (say, the spell just lists ingredients without saying “roses - for love”, “salt - for protection” and so on). Honestly, I don’t use these spells because it’s more difficult to charge them with my intent - how am I supposed to charge something with specific intent if I don’t know what that intent is supposed to be? 

So, what’s the solution? Well, you could just not use those spells and look for one that does list the reasoning for each ingredient. Alternatively, you could substitute all the ingredients for ones you associate with the intent. 


I hope this helps! Check out my other posts:

anonymous asked:

but dae lives alone and so does bang. how the hell did dae even get that jacket. did dae pay a visit to yongguk. i'm confused, i have too many questions and too little answers

Luckily for you, I have the answers.

Because Dae and Bang live close, right? They’re practically neighbors, while the other members live farther away. Bangdae even have their own car to pick them up for schedules now.

So obviously Dae woke up this morning and it was hella cold outside, but he had places to be, rehearsals to do, but no proper jacket, so he texted Bang all cute and shy like “hyung~ Can I borrow a jacket? It’s so cold~” to which Bang texted back “ofc Daehyun-ah come grab whatever”. Which he did. And Bang probably made sure he wrapped up in that scarf before sending him off, saying he can’t get sick. Daehyun blushed happily the entire time.

There ya go.

Speechless

Pairing: Barry Allen x Reader

Featuring: Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Joe West and Harrison Wells.

Words: 1606

Warnings: -

Tags: @imabloodynerd 

Request: requested by anonymous:

“Can you do a Barry imagine where the reader can talk to animals and they meet when he sees her accidentally talking to animals in public and he comes to her as the flash asking for help then they start dating”

Notes: im sorry if this is too shitty. I didn’t really know how to do this request but I hope you enjoy it

Originally posted by time-remnant

MASTERLIST


The night of the explosion literally changed your life. You worked at the Central City Zoo and that exact night you had been almost forced to stay until late to feed the monkeys. You did love the job, loved the animals and loved the place but you were exhausted. So much you didn’t even hear the explosion, all you remember is a wave that made you fall to the ground, unconscious.

When you woke up, you were confused. You didn’t know where those voices where coming from since you were still alone in the park. But there were voices all around you. Voices expressing mostly curiosity but also fear. You got up and looked around, trying to know where those voices came from until you realised it:

The animals.

Keep reading

Semi Sim Related Asks

1. What is your favorite Expasion and how did you get It?

2. Are you ever jealous of your sims?

3. What Expasion do you want next?

4. If you became a Guru, what would you do?

5. If you were good (or even better then you are now) at story writing, what would your sim story be about?

6. Are you capable of drawing your sims?

7. Chose a sim and tell us what you relate most to him or her.

8. If you could give your sims birth signs would you?

9. Pick a sim and give her/him a zodiac sign that relates most to their personality.

10. Is your simself very accurate?

11. Describe one of your sim’s take on drama and romance.

12. Pick a sim. Does he/she have bad intentions, thoughts, or none.

13. Pick a sim What is his/her favorite book?

Please ask me some?

nothing tastier than antis cherry picking bits of the EW article and interpreting it as they want like do they really believe rian johnson doesn’t want to do a redemption just because he said jj would be doing the rest…..bitch he SET UP the whole redemption!! did you even read what he said after that? and of course they zoom in on the “kylo hates rey” part as if that’s not literally the FIRST sentence of the entire article and there’s literally paragraphs afterwards detailing it won’t be that simple…..im eating fried chicken rn but damn this tastes better

last night when I was almost asleep, my boyfriend squeezed my hand 3 times, very softly and almost not noticeable and it made me so fucking happy you have no clue. i told him about the song and that i love it so much and he just did that.. even though he thought I was already asleep. how do I deserve this wonderful human being in my life..

Like any Jedi, Obi-Wan knew that in the course of duty he might be asked to lay down his life- and that he must freely give it. That had never given Obi-Wan pause. But the danger he now faced wasn’t simple death- it was a life of subjugation and abuse.

And Obi-Wan would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that future scared him more than dying ever could.  

If the mission failed and he could not escape- If he was instead sold to a new Master and whisked half way across the galaxy- how long could he continue to call himself a Jedi first and a slave second?


Do you like young Obi-Wan Kenobi going on fun adventures with Qui-Gon? Did you like the the Zygerria arc in The Clone Wars but wish Obi-Wan had an even worse time?? Probably not! But here it is anyway!

Welcome to “The Chains of Despair”! Padawan Kenobi has to pose as Qui-Gon’s slave to infiltrate the Zygerrian Empire, things go from bad to worse and then to downright gut-wrenchingly horrible! 

@sunsetofdoom co-authored this work (and therefore shares 50% of the blame) and we would both be ecstatic if you gave it a look!  

The Chains of Despair 

Ok, so I need to speak about something that has been happening recently. I have noticed that some people have been bashing the lucky fan that got to speak to BTS, Sabrina I think her name was, and I would just kindly like to ask those doing that sort of stuff to grow the fuck up. So what if she messed up a little on the pronounciation? She was really excited and nervous at the same time, do you realise how hard it is to even say something in english when that much adrenaline is going through you? Very fucking hard. And the fact that she immediately said that she wasn’t good at Korean shows that she was aware that she messed up and that she was apologising if she messed up any other stuff. Korean is a fucking hard language anyway, especially for someone that has spoken English for most of their life. I would know because I am a student that has been taking languages as a subject since I was twelve. But honestly, the fact that she even bothered to try and speak in Korean to them, THEIR NATIVE LANGUAGE, just so they wouldn’t have to stress out about speaking in english speaks a lot about her as a person. And she was such a sweetheart too, she wasn’t just fixated on Jungkook like other’s tend to be, she addressed the band as a whole and talked about how much she loved them all. Y’all that are criticising her need to take a concrete pill, harden the fuck up and stop being so salty. 

Anyway, I know she probs won’t see this, but Sabrina, congratulations on being able to speak to the boys :D I was honestly so proud of you for actually making an effort to speak to them in Korean, that was so brave of you to do, even when you knew you were a bit shaky with the language. You did such a good job anyway so I don’t know why you were too worried. Hopefully you got to see them in person! Congrats again bub ^_^

prislydawn  asked:

Congrats on finishing the animatic! I love how you did disappear :D It's a reminder that even if Evan lied he tried his best anyway to become Connor's "friend" and help others along the way

THANK YOUUUU!! I also made sure that no, Connor is not acting OOC, because Evan’s OC is NOT Connot >:0 As much as I hate doing that, I ship Tree Bros myself hNGhhH

anonymous asked:

how come that i only see you and blue still talking about freddie? no one else does, they don't point out the weird stuff, like you just did with him being at tammi's at night, or how he looks more like brett with every passing day. do i just not see others talking about it or do they not care anymore?

Well, people are still here, so they clearly they do care, my guess is that it’s the same old same old and despite the fact that we have concrete evidence that this is all fake, they still haven’t ended it yet so pointing out stuff at this point is almost unnecessary because we know it’s all fake. The reason I keep pointing out stuff is that I am petty and will keep pointing out things as long as it’s necessary haha but that’s me. Just because others don’t do it, it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about babygate anymore. Also keep in mind that this happened on Tammi’s Snapchat and not everyone follows that demon on her social media.

mylyannasnow  asked:

Quick question did Bellas body prepare for breastfeeding? The pregnancy goes by so fast and is so abnormal and we never really get any information other than that she can't really keep anything down so maybe malnourishment was a factor but...Also how do you think things would have gone if the Cullens had figured out the blood thing earlier in the pregnancy?

My guess is no? Renesmee, and hybrids generally, seem to prefer blood. They already have a liquid diet option available, and are born with teeth so it’s not even a matter of having to wait to be able to bite. I think the intention with hybrids is that they will feed on blood, not milk (she hated the baby formula Carlisle tried to give her). 

There seemed to be a sort of delicate balance between keeping Bella strong enough to survive and the baby not becoming SO strong she caused fatal damage. Once Bella started drinking blood (which still doesn’t make medical sense to me but whatever, just chalk it up to “it’s supernatural, I guess?”), she got stronger but so did fetus!Renesmee, who started breaking ribs and whatnot with her kicks.  Had they discovered the blood-drinking earlier, it could have exacerbated that problem.  A stronger Bella, yes–but also a stronger baby who could have been causing damage for a longer period. I mean the whole pregnancy was what, like a month? And she only figures it out two weeks in? Ridiculously short. She only starts drinking blood, per the Lexicon timeline, on Sept 8th, and Renesmee is born on the 11th. So she only had a few days of being well “fed” and still caused quite a bit of damage. 

  • Mei: Who broke the coffee machine? I'm not mad. I just want to know.
  • Yuzu: I did. I broke it-
  • Mei: No, no you didn't. Himeko?
  • Himeko: Don't look at me. Look at Taniguchi.
  • Harumi: What? I didn't break it.
  • Himeko: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Harumi: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
  • Himeko: Suspicious.
  • Harumi: No, it's not.
  • Nene: If it matters, probably not, but... Matsuri was the last one to use it.
  • Matsuri: Liar! I don't even drink that crap.
  • Nene: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Matsuri: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Nene.
  • Yuzu: Okay, okay, let's not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it Mei.
  • Mei: No. Who broke it.
  • Harumi: ...Mei? Nina's been awfully quiet-
  • Nina: Really??
  • Mei, in another room: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it.