how did i get roped into this

lemonbird  asked:

IMPORTANT QUESTION. Vampires aren't suppose to enter a premise without being invited right? What if a hermit vampire was living in his falling apart old castle and some fuck bought it as a "fixer upper", would the vampire just glitch out on to the lawn or would he be okay since he lived there before?

Okay so this would depend on where you are in the world, and whether or not they had squatters rights (can’t be evicted and can apply for legal ownership of place once they have been there for X amount of years) but I mean, the dude owns the place, even if it is a run down mess he was still there first and there’s probably some ancient land ownership law which can’t be overwritten by modern laws (you find all sorts of weird things are still technically legal cause no one bothered to update the books since 1645) so basically whoever just bought this castle to turn it into a modern fixer upper, congrats, you also just bought yourself a vampire and he’s not going anywhere.

(Also now I kind of want to write this where a family buys it to turn it into a hotel/wedding venue and the kids find the vampire in the attic and he ends up being the weird uncle who gets roped into hilarious wedding related shenanigans?? Like 


“Okay yes fine, you can host weddings here, but registrar only, no religious ones.” 
“But Theolodious, why?”
“Really Sharon, really, do I have to spell it out for you. Really.”

*

“We really should increase the lighting for photographs, what about skylights?”
“No.”
“But—”
“How about I just set all of you on fire while you’re trying to sleep.”

*

“Please, for the love of god, please don’t let people throw confetti or rice, I’m begging you.”

*

“Okay what’s our final head count for the night?”
“107.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I fucking stutter Steve?”

*

“Uncle Theo, why does the groom have “help me” on the bottom of his shoes, why is everyone laughing?.”
“Because small one, humanity has failed collectively as a species and heteronormativity is a constructed lie designed to oppress over half the population for not conforming to arcane and chauvinistic ideals put in place by dead scholars who have long since turned to dust and have no place influencing modern society.”
“…”
“Permanence is an illusion.”

*

“Madame, flattering as your offer is for a quickie, you’re not my type.”
“What is your type then?” ;) ;) ;)
“O negative.”

*

“Whoo, what a day, I could eat a horse.”
“Same.”
“…”
“…well obviously I’m not going to.”

*

“Theo…are you…are you crying?”
“Yes.”
“You big softie, I never thought someone like you would cry at a wedding.”
“…I’ve lived a long life, Sharron. People come and go, the christening you bless will be the funeral you mourn in less than a century. But people keep saying “I love you”, that has to count for something.”

Same player who was the heartbroken warlock

When I was a new player I did a lot of overthinking and stereotypes. I made a dwarf but I forget the class anyway its not important. Fast forward to level 2 or so and this was i think my second ever character.

dm: you are at a cliff above the bandits cave. you see one man standing outside it next to a rope.

Players start to try to figure out how to kill/immobilize him before he can pull the rope because “its got to be some alarm”

dm: To high up for your magic to reach him. To windy for throwing weapons to accurately get to him. He will see you if you try to climb down and the path that you can take to get you there is off a ways and he will see your decent.

Dwarf: Well in that case I want to drop my anvil on him.

Dm: what?

Dwarf: I drop my anvil on him.

Dm: you don’t have an anvil.

Dwarf: yes I do.

Dm: no….. you don’t.

Dwarf: but I do.

Dm: show me your character sheet. (Dm looks at the character sheet) Why do you have an anvil!

Dwarf: Because…… i’m a dwarf?

Anyway I dropped the anvil got a 19 on the dice and due to height and using fall damage as a base I killed the guy with the hit and we were able to slaughter the bandits easily since they didn’t suspect anything. Never got all the blood off the anvil after that though.

carried on the breeze [you’ll never find me]

inspired by this post from @stranger-who-writes-fiction

kara has flown myriad out into space,

and alex has gone after her in that damn pod. sure, getting the thing to space wasn’t a problem - reentery however was where things were going more than a little screwy. in no seconds flat  alex finds herself in a falling deathtrap with her unconscious sister draped mostly uncomfortably across her.

this pod was not meant for two.

nor, apparently, is it meant for rouge humans hijacking and then flying it, poorly but still functionally, into space to save their superhero little sisters. yet, alex had done it anyway.

and now, well, with the planet rapidly rising up to meet them, alex realizes the steering is gone. realizes that the best she can hope for is sending out some sort of signal and hoping that wherever they landed…the deo finds them first.

too bad it was going to be a water landing. which, god, that wasn’t what alex wants. any type of crash landing would probably kill her on impact, but at least crashing into some sort of land might ensure kara’s survival. kara who is still unconscious.

alex knows she has seconds left to come up with a plan. she’s feeling a little ill, the pod spinning around and with one arm holding kara to her chest, alex is left to crane her neck over her little sisters shoulder just to look at the console.

her eye catches a red button.

under the console, hidden from the normal line of sight - alex has to wonder if red buttons hold the same meaning on every plant. alex has to wonder why she never asked.

[to be fair, it’s an obscure question, but god, alex wishes she’d had  the foresight to see this coming]

what she doesn’t see coming are the clouds, the fog that seems to be way too high in the atmosphere, plunging the pod and the danvers sisters into a grey half light.

Keep reading

S4 Meta: Jasper’s Pranks and What He Means By Them

I got inspired to write this meta by a youtube comment on a clip of Jasper and Bellamy forest talk in ‘God Complex’. The comment was - “I think that Jasper is actually trying to be nice to Bellamy”. Which made me laugh because it’s actually true. I think that Jasper has been trying to be nice to people through most of S4, but because this comes through the filter of his drunken obnoxious madness, nobody is really getting it. Not the other characters or most of the viewers. And that’s really tragic. What’s more, I think Jasper’s trying to be especially nice to the people he has felt the most hurt by. I think this is part of Jasper’s process for letting go. Just as Jasper urges Bellamy not to waste his last ten days on his self-recrimination, Jasper also doesn’t want to waste his time on his negative emotions. I think Jasper’s pranks are his form of purging. He is trying to turn resentment into something positive. He’s trying to be nice.  

Prank One: Floating Jaha

Like all members of the 100, Jasper resents Jaha for sending them to die on the ground. All the hell they have gone through since they set foot on Earth is a hell that Jaha dropped them into. What’s more, the 100 were all waiting in cells to be floated on their 18th birthdays. Many had seen family and friends floated before their imprisonment. So with the mattress on the lake, Jasper gives Jaha a funny mock execution as a very public prank. Not only can Jasper laugh at Jaha, but anyone else who suffered under his merciless Arker laws can laugh too. Jaha’s executions were a serious matter, but hating Jaha for them won’t bring anyone back. Jasper’s prank renders Jaha powerless and makes him human again. It means a few days later Jasper can offer Jaha a drink and try to cheer him up with Dr Seuss poems. It means Jasper can be nice.       

Prank Two: Scaring Monty

This one is the toughest to explain because it’s obvious to any sane observer Jasper’s acid rain prank is very cruel. And sick and wrong. But to the less than sane Jasper, it’s meant to be a joke. I feel that this prank is deliberately aimed at Monty, the only one who tries to run out to save Jasper. Now Monty is actually the person Jasper cares about most. Monty is the one Jasper addressed his suicide note to and Monty is the one who Jasper is upset about being deemed expendable by Clarke’s list. So why is his prank on Monty the darkest? I think it’s because Monty is the person Jasper felt most hurt by. Because it hurts worse to feel betrayed by your best friend, your brother. Jasper mock dying of radiation poisoning in front of Monty after Jasper had to watch someone he loved really die of radiation poisoning is to purge the resentment he feels towards Monty for Maya’s death. With the acid rain prank Jasper is giving Monty a taste of that same pain. But he knows he can’t waste anymore time resenting Monty. It won’t bring Maya back. And sure enough after Jasper has had his mean little joke at Monty’s expense, they’re right back to being best friends and Jasper has talked Monty into playing pranks with him like old times.     

Prank Three: Foaming Clarke

I think fans overestimate how much Jasper resents Clarke. His prank on Clarke has nothing to do with Mount Weather or Maya. As Jasper said way back at the Dropship scene with Monty, he understands why Clarke did it. He understands that Clarke has no chill when it comes to survivalism. What Jasper resents are all the “pointless tasks” Clarke roped him into in the name of survival. His prank on Clarke is simple - Jasper just wants her to chill out. As he snarks to Monty, getting Clarke to chill would be doing her a favor. I think Jasper even feels sorry for Clarke’s total inability to have fun. Of course, the foam prank goes array as Jasper discovers the list just before it and is consequently given a new reason to resent Clarke. But after the list leaks out and Jasper has his own time to chill in the brig, not only does he let go of his anger at Clarke, but he offers her advice on how not to make everyone else mad at her too. Again, Jasper’s trying to be nice. His final line to Clarke is heartbreaking - “Some day when all this is over you’re going to realize that foam bit was funny”. To me, what Jasper is saying here is that after the radiation has passed, he expects Clarke will have survived while he will be dead and that he just wants for Clarke to remember him as the boy who squirted foam in her face and smile.      

Prank Four: Hijacking Bellamy

Jasper roping Bellamy into a pointless task of his own isn’t part of the Jasper prank season but it serves the same function. I’m sure Jasper has heard about Bellamy almost getting himself killed trying to save a delinquent and his dad lost in the woods during the acid rain. Jasper teases Bellamy’s desperate need to save everyone, the surviving 100 especially, by waltzing into the forest knowing Bellamy will have to chase after him and protect him. Jasper knows Bellamy is wallowing in self-loathing for the crappy things he’s done and all the people he’s failed to save. Jasper knows this because he’s wallowed for the same reason. And Jasper doesn’t really forgive Bellamy for his failings, anymore than Jasper forgives Clarke or Monty, or anymore than he forgives himself. He just knows that resentment and recrimination are pointless at the end of the world. It won’t bring anyone back. It doesn’t matter anymore. The clock is ticking and Jasper just wants his friend to be happy again. Embracing Bellamy’s old “Whatever the hell we want” motto is ironic considering that little S1 Jasper first hugged and started idolizing Bellamy after he’d stopped being their reckless rebel leader. Jasper is the reckless one now and he knows that Bellamy needs to let go. So Jasper does a nice thing by basically abducting Bellamy and forcing him to have a day off from hopelessly trying to save the world.

Tagging the usual people @jontyaxefive @insufficient-earth-skills @ginalou16  @dreamersscape @murphystartedthefire  @rosymamacita , etc, for your thoughts on Jasper’s end of the world fun.

erwin doesn’t get enough credit for how badass he is I mean the man gets his arm chomped on by a titan and CONTINUES TO COMMAND from the titans mouth. Then he’s the ONLY one who even can lay a hand on bertolt, cutting the ropes to save eren. Not to mention he did that with a newly missing arm while bleeding himself into a coma

"You made a dick joke!"

Context:
I play a Dwarf Monk named Umi who’s having a mid-life crisis, and one of our other players are playing a 7'2" half-elf/half-orc Barbarian that my Dwarf lovingly calls “oaf”
We’re in a forest, and the ground opened up under our Cleric, and she fell 35 feet into this pit.

When trying to figure a way to get our Cleric out, Oaf and Umi are looking in the hole.

Oaf: “Does anyone have any rope?”

Umi: “Oaf, yer seven feet tall. How long’s yer dick?”

Oaf, ooc: “I push the dwarf into the dang hole.”

Everyone laughs.


–In the hole–

Claric: “Did you both just jump down here?”

Umi: “No, the Oaf pushed me!”

Oaf: “You made a dick joke! We don’t make dick jokes!”

Umi: “No, YOU don’t make dick jokes!”

nct 127 goes to the beach

taeyong: 

  • w h y
  • overpacked and tried to carry everything but couldn’t even make it to the car (johnny: do u need help)
  • almost dropped the cooler on his foot three times
  • wacked doyoung in the face with the parasol (taeyong: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT / doyoung: i almost dIED)
  • doyoung guilt trips him into buying them overpriced beach food
  • doesn’t eat any himself bc it’s unhygienic (taeyong: u are all ingesting sand)
  • claimed the spot under the parasol and is using the cooler as a table
  • forgot to bring a chair and hates himself
  • sAND
  • trying to read but the wind keeps messing with the pages
  • refuses to go into the sea so the others brought the sea to him and poured a bucket of seawater over his head
  • his toWEL N O (thank god he brought like 14 spares)
  • will not take off his shirt

 taeil:

  • surprisingly enthusiastic
  • sings/raps Starships for the entire car ride (taeil: let’s go to the beach, each. let’s go get away. they say, what they gonna say? / ot8: pls shut up / taeil: bAD bitches like me, it’s hard to come by)
  • screams when ocean comes into view
  • yells again when they actually get on the beach
  • takes the parasol away from taeyong and proceeds to use it to threaten the kids until they reach their spot
  • does the run-away-from-the-waves game and pushes everyOne
  • nopes out when they gang up on him
  • brought sandwiches and won’t share
  • aqua shoes

 johnny:

  • berMUDA SHORTS (johnny: *poses* what y’all think? / yuta: almost as ugly as ur face)
  • wears sunglasses and won’t take them off even in the water
  • a wave slaps them off his face and he ropes everyone into an elaborate rescue mission
  • they are lost forever
  • buys shitty neon ones from the beach gift shop (johnny: i can pull off this look / ot8: u cannot)
  • “look how far i can dive!!!!”
  • eats and doesn’t wait 30 minutes to get back into the water
  • regrets and hibernates on a towel for the rest of the day
  • becomes the sunscreen mom

 yuta:

  • criticises everyone’s beachwear
  • shouldn’t fuckin talk because he is wearing a neoprene suit, a bucket hat, aviators and palm tree themed flip flops
  • still looks good tho?????
  • offers to carry the cooler for three seconds (yuta: what did you pACK??? / taeyong: do u want to die of dehydration bc i will let u)
  • didn’t know what anime towel to bring so he brought all of them
  • No Exposure but is still scared of getting sunburned
  • throws seaweed at anyone in reach (mostly donghyuk)
  • laughs when mark trips
  • oooooooohhhhs loudly when someone’s shirt rides up
  • keeps trying to force taeyong to go into the water
  • is flirting with death bc taeyong is about to f i g h t him

 doyoung:

  • doesn’t want to go
  • says so several times
  • loudly
  • quietly singing along to Starships with taeil
  • donghyuk calls him out and gets hit
  • is sporting a red blotch on his cheek bc taeyong hit him in the face with the parasol
  • will hold the grudge for the next 20 years
  • forces taeyong to buy them ice cream and becomes everyone’s favourite
  • tries to turn his screaming into singing when his foot touches seaweed
  • has goggles and keeps putting his head underwater to see what underwater looks like
  • can hold his breath for a really long time and takes joy in freaking people out
  • freaks out when donghyuk and mark try to outdo him
  • becomes the second (more forceful)  sunscreen mom

 jaehyun:

  • boy is he READY
  • hyPED
  • sunscreen distributor (has a small makeup bag dedicated to sunscreen)
  • Ultra Light Daily UV Defense Sunscreen
  • lathers up and chases mark with the spray can
  • giggles loudly when first going into the water bc cOLd
  • keeps laughing
  • seriously won’t stop laughing
  • swallowed water by accident bc someone (yuta) pushed him and stopped laughing to expel his lungs
  • “i like long walks on the beach:)”
  • picks up a huge wad of seaweed and waves it around like “oHMygOd guys look how grOSS”
  • throws it at donghyuk
  • manages to steal a sandwich from taeil but has to eat it in the water bc taeil was not fucking around

 winwin:

  • “wanna know what beach is in chinese?”
  • laughs at the english word
  • does his own version of the squidward dance when they reach the beach
  • offers to carry a single towel
  • drops it and blames it on the wind
  • steals three of yuta’s anime towels and manages to get all of them sopping wet (yuta: hoW??)
  • just steals more towels
  • aqua shoes make squelchy sounds and now he won’t sit down
  • “he’s like a dolphin”
  • so smooth and graceful in water????
  • he doesn’t nEED GOGGLES DOYOUNG HE’S ONE WITH THE OCEAN
  • get’s bored and badgers taeyong for food

 mark:

  • “it’s beach not bitch”
  • almost wore bermuda shorts but was threatened into plain ones
  • got sand in his eyes almost the moment they stepped onto the beach
  • forgot his sunglasses and spends the rest of the day squinting
  • why is sand so slippery
  • brought three extra t-shirts just incase
  • wore a white shirt and regrets it because yuta and donghyuk keep ooohh-ing
  • donghyuk keeps pushing him which really isn’t necessary bc he can fall on his own thank u very much
  • brought a beats pill and everyone keeps stealing it (ot8: bingeul bingeul round)
  • impromptu rave under the parasol
  • has an underwater-rolls contest with donghyuk and winwin
  • gets sabotaged by a wave
  • forms an artistic swimming and diving duo with donghyuk and keeps doyoung on his toes by staying underwater for as long as possible
  • has one of those board-thingies but the ocean hates him
  • kinda forgot the sunscreen thing and now his cheeks and nose are red

 donghyuk:

  • will not stop saying beach/bitch
  • gets hit but he’s unstoppable
  • jeju island boy ayy he’s reADY
  • looks like he was born on a beach
  • laughed the loudest when doyoung got hit in the face
  • laughs even louder when mark slips after two seconds on the beach
  • naruto runs to an empty spot
  • is the first one in the water
  • screeches when there’s a big wave
  • loUD and traitorous
  • no one is safe (not even taeyong)
  • pushes mark and he’s like w h y i can do this by myself
  • picks the seaweed out of mark’s hair (donghyuk: shut up u look like u were attacked by a octopus it’s making me uncomfortable)
  • h a t e s seaweed so so much
  • comes out of the water for two minutes to eat
  • feeds the seagulls and then leaves taeyong to deal with it
  • mark and he are exhausted by the end of the day and have to be carried back to the car

ilecz  asked:

Oops! My bad! I think I sent the first request to the wrong place, but anyways...Could you please update the packmomStiles or the StilesCooks tag? I really appreciate what you do here

yeah you did but its no problem! here’s some packmom stiles

How to Witchcraft for Dummies by TornThorn (3/11 | 4,357 | G)

In which Stiles begins learning to use his spark, Deaton is unhelpfully cryptic, the pack is tired of getting dragged in, and the Sheriff is at the end of his rope with the magic crap.

Mine Would Be You by The_Ash_Phoenix_24 (2/? | 3,287 | NR)

With the Hale Pack stronger than ever and with Beacon Hills protected from those that want to break their bond, it feels only right to get back to normal, right? When the oblivious Alpha-mate Stiles Stilinski’s life is threatened by a simple ‘accident’, the Alpha takes a different approach to take what rightfully belongs to him. While Stiles feels like his friends are hiding something from him, he wonders whether he should try and investigate or just live and let live.

We’ll figure something out by Anarik (1/1 | 12,691 | PG13)

After a witch attack, Stiles and Derek are cursed and have to live in an alternate dimension while watching the others figure out how to bring them back.

Now Can Danny Go Back to Sleep? by TryingToCreateSomethingWorthwhile  (1/1 | 2,481 | G)

Danny is woken up by none other than Stiles Stilinski, who begs him to help him and “Miguel” track down Isaac. It’s a simple job, so Danny decides to do a little matchmaking on the side.

There is no right name yet by Anarik (1/1 | 14,129 | PG13)

The pack is too busy with their own business to notice, but Stiles and Derek are getting too close without even noticing and it kind of freaks them out when they find out.

Or.

When you start talking with someone whose level of sarcasm is the same as yours and you don’t know if you’re fighting or flirting.

Hold Me Close (I’m Falling Apart) by looks_on_tempests_and_never_is_shaken (9/10 | 24,860 | PG13)

“Wolves without an emissary are naturally turbulent because their instincts are wild. Subconsciously, you’ve been balancing them, but you aren’t tied to the pack so you aren’t getting a balance in return.”
“So, they’re bleeding me dry. Always knew they were parasites.” Stiles smiled dryly.
“You’ll need to attach yourself to an alpha soon. There are risks for an unbalanced druid.”
“Like?”
“Well, in-balance may show itself in several ways. It’s a disruption in nature, so nature will twist and alter in an attempt to right itself.”
“What does that mean?” Stiles was getting anxious. The vet wa avoiding giving direct answers and that never meant anything good.
“You’re magic is heavily entwined with your will, and your will is parallel to your mind.”
“I’ll go insane.”

You see where this may be headed, but if not let me sum it up a but better -
Lack of communication is killer, especially when feeling are involved. So, let’s throw our emotionally constipated favs into a situation where they have to pretend to be what that truly want to be anyways but are too big of dorks to say anything about it. Enjoy!

Green Eyed Monster (Draco x reader)

// Draco x reader

Requested: Yes.

Summary: Draco has liked y/n for a long time, and gets jealous when he sees her with Harry.

Rating: Mid-Fluff

Warnings: Language.

Note: Y/h means your house.

Title: Green Eyed Monster. //

 

When y/n walks over to the y/h table, Draco’s eyes immediately meeting Blaise’s. “What?” He scoffs, picking up his cup and scowling into it, still peering up. Now his gaze goes past Blaise and to y/n again. Draco tries to ignore the obnoxious fluttering in his heart as he takes a sip of the pumpkin juice. “I don’t see why she associates with Potter.” Blaise raises his eyebrows slightly and glances at him. “She’s too good for him-not even just Potter, but all of them.” Draco scowls again, setting his cup down rather harshly. “And what’s he doing right now- look at him. The nerve. Look at that bloody fool…” Blaise sighs slightly and turns around.

“He’s talking to her,” he states. Once again, Draco picks up his cup, turning his attention to the liquid in it as he raises it to his lips.

“It’s disgusting,” He replies. Pansy sighs and shifts in her seat next to him, clearly wanting Draco’s attention on her and not y/n.

“He’s still talking to her,” Blaise continues narrating what’s going on, which oddly enough puts him in a state of ease. He drinks from his cup again and sets it down, focusing all his attention down on the table. Pansy shifts a little closer to him. “Erm, mate?” Blaise murmurs.

“What is it?” He hisses, quickly picking up the cup once more and bringing it to his lips; peering down at it to keep himself from looking up at her, and to hide the obvious blush creeping across his cheeks.

“He’s…oh, he’s sort of…” Blaise pauses for a second, and all his patience snaps at once.

What is it you daft-” When Draco’s gaze travels up and lands on her, it feels as if his heart skips a beat. “What is- what is he doing?” Blaise turns back to me, opening his mouth. “No! Don’t,” Draco hisses, setting the cup down. “That was a rhetorical question, Blaise. Don’t answer it.”

Harry’s body is turned completely towards y/n, a huge smile on his face as he talks to her, leaning closer as he speaks. Blaise peers behind him once more before shaking his head and turning his attention back to his friend. “Hey, mate. It looks like this might be your last chance…they look cozy right now.” Draco’s gaze falls to the ceiling as a slew of curses falls past his lips. He stands up, still eyeing y/n as he takes a deep breath and straightens his tie.

“All right then, I’ll head over. Doesn’t bother me at all,” Blaise simply nods and smiles to himself as Draco moves forward.

There she is, she’s right there. He can’t help but notice how close she is to Potter, how bright her smile is…it isn’t fair, not at all.

Only a few more feet.

Why are my palms so bloody sweaty?

She’s practically right in front of Draco now.

Why won’t my heart calm down? You’re a Malfoy-you’re Draco Malfoy, any girl would be lucky to have you…right?

Y/n glances up from her conversation, her eyes widening slightly. Her smile falters for only a second before it returns, albeit slightly different than before. Draco can’t seem to place what’s off about her smile, but his mind slowly wanders from it when she laughs softly. “Oh, Draco. Hey…can I help you?” She murmurs, her body tensing slightly when Harry looks over.

Malfoy,” he spits. “What are you doing here? Come to give your wonderful insight?” Draco’s eyebrows instantly shoot up.

“Excuse me?” He asks, covering his nerves with a cold laugh. “It doesn’t look like you own this part of the school, famous little Potter. Am I invading your area?” His voice is slightly laced with venom, and despite y/n’s quiet protest, Harry stands up.

“Actually, you are Malfoy! I was just talking to y/n, and you- you come up to harass me. Just leave me alone already, it’s bloody pathetic.” Harry replies forcefully, his hand already reaching for his wand.

Actually, you prat I didn’t come over here to talk to you. I couldn’t care less about you, Potter. I came here to talk to y/n- actually, ask her something that is.” His gaze falls on y/n briefly, and his heart flutters obnoxiously once more.

Keep it together.

Harry shakes his head in disbelief. “What do you mean, Malfoy?”

“Not everything’s about you, Potter! I just came over here to ask- to ask y/n, something.” Draco curses himself on the way he stutters slightly, and he looks away for a brief second. “I actually was wondering if you maybe wanted to go to Hogsmeade sometime-the two of us, that is. I think it could be-” before Draco gets to finish his sentence, Harry laughs sharply.

“I see what it is. Can’t let me have anything I want, Malfoy, hmm? Got to take everything from me, is that right? First you become Slytherin’s Seeker, to compete against me, now this? It’s pathetic Draco, really.” Harry hisses, stepping slightly closer to Draco.

“You’re so full of yourself!” Draco snaps. “That scar of yours getting to your head, Potter?” He scoffs, lifting his nose slightly as he peers down at him. “Why is it so hard to believe I just want to ask her out, hm? It’s not like I haven’t been wanting to since year three. But no- everything I do has to be about famous little Potter!” His eyes seem to ignite as he stares Harry down. “Maybe I just truly like her. Which I do,” he turns to meet y/n’s gaze, his face softening. “I do. I know I’m not good at this stuff, but honestly- I care for you. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t. You have to believe me.” It’s a miracle that Harry doesn’t catch onto his sincere, pleading tone, because the next thing Draco’s knows, Harry’s pulled his wand out and is pointing it discreetly at him.

“Cut it out, Malfoy. This is cruel.” Y/n stands up quickly.

“Oh, cut it out Harry.” She mumbles, pushing his hand down with her own. “Can’t you see his being truthful?”

“Of course, he isn’t y/n. You don’t know Draco like I do, you don’t know what he’s-”

Oh, so you know me now, Potter? Hmm?” Draco raises his voice, startling everyone around them. “So, I assume you know about how I’ll never be enough to please my father?” He steps closer to Harry. “Please, go on. Tell y/n how cruel I am. Tell her that I’m such an awful person, that I torment you daily. Tell her that I hate you and your friends. Please, tell her everything about me, perfect Potter. I can’t wait to her what tales you’ll tell this time.” His voice slowly lowers until it’s barely above a whisper. “I’ve left you alone all this year, Potter. You get everything. The Professors favor you, Dumbledore adores you, you have all your close friends-” His voice cuts out for a second as he inhales shakily. “But greedy Potter has to have everything he wants. No matter who cares more for her- Potter wants her, step aside lads!” His eyes darken slightly. “You can’t let me just have one-win Potter? Not one?” His body shakes slightly as he straightens his posture. “Very well then, treat her right- if you hurt her, I won’t hesitate to hex you.” As Draco turns around, the sound of y/n scoffing makes him freeze.

“As if Harry gets to decide who I’m with,” she murmurs, moving forward. “You know Draco, you are a complete git.” Y/n sighs when she sees Draco flinch, not understanding how her words stung him. “Maybe that would matter if I didn’t care about you.” She continues, reaching out and grabbing his hand gently. “But, see, here’s the thing: I do. That’s where it gets complicated, you see. You’ve somehow roped me into your heart, and I can’t seem to find a way out.” She laughs slightly. “Still don’t know how you did it…” Draco turns around slowly, trying to ignore his fluttering heart enough to say something, anything.

“S-s-s, so…Hogsmeade, nice place? For a guy and a girl, that is.” He stammers, griping the back of his neck with his free hand. “I mean on a date, of course. It’d be a nice place to take you- on a date.” Y/n’s eyes light up slightly.

“Yes, you might have already mentioned that, along with asking me.”

“Right, but I d-d- don’t think I got an answer, did I?”

“You really can’t tell my answer for yourself? After that whole speech? I didn’t think you were this daft, Draco-” she continues teasing him as she moves forward, pulling him along with her, all the while Draco cursing himself for not doing this sooner.

Backfire

Angsty headcanon is now an angsty fic. Whoops


Kirishima had gotten plenty used to the yelling next door. Even with the wall muffling it, he could make out the cadence of different swears, peppered with banging, stomping, and the occasional contained explosion. His floor trembling and desk chattering and lamp wobbling were almost comforting reminders that he wasn’t living alone. Bakugou was safely next door, being angry about something.

It made Kirishima uncomfortable the night that nothing shook. He could make out a muffled something: hisses and mutterings and the shuffling of feet, all distinctly Bakugou, but this was different now.

Bakugou was trying to be quiet.

Kirishima toyed with the pages of his textbook, skimming to see how much was left of the chapter. His hair was down, just a bit damp from the shower, and he’d settled in, wearing sweats and an old t-shirt, planning to knock out as much homework as he could. His non-rattling lamp lit his desk, the rest of the room left in a cozy darkness. Kirishima ran his tongue along his teeth and weighed his options as he heard another muffled snarl through the wall. He closed the book, picked it up, opened his door, and knocked firmly on Bakugou’s.

“Yo Bakugou, did you do the math stuff yet? I don’t get the diagram with the triangle and the sine and cosine stuff.”

The muttering had quieted on the other side of Bakugou’s door. A brief silence sat between them.

“It’s easy. Go figure it out yourself.”

“Yeah but I’m stupid.” Kirishima twisted the knob of Bakugou’s door and found it surprisingly unlocked. He hesitated a moment, the door an inch cracked, before pushing it the rest of the way inward.

“Don’t–!!” was all Bakugou could shout before Kirishima looked up.

Kirishima said nothing at first. He only looked, making sense of the scene. The central light was on, swamping Bakugou’s scarcely-decorated room. Bakugou sat on his bed, sheets still made, still wearing the UA gym pants. The shirt had been discarded, apparently in tatters, on the floor. Kirishima’s eyes were drawn to the awkward bandages, strung like rope around Bakugou’s shoulders and ribcage. Bakugou’s right arm glistened slightly, painted with amorphous patches of raw pink skin.

“Dude, did you burn yourself?”

Keep reading

A different gym experience

So, I had an Experience the other day that I’d like to share. I’m low-key surprised how much it’s affecting me.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I needed something different for my exercise life. I’ve been slacking off and I feel it. It’s hard to get my ass to the gym, what I do when I’m there feels pointless. I don’t know what the goal is, or how to progress, or what’s the best things to do to help my particular body. Then a close friend wrote a long testimonial about a small gym he belongs to, and how they operate, and how it changed his life. So I decided to give them a call. It’s an independent, local studio owned by a husband and wife team. The woman welcomed me warmly when I came in for an assessment.

Great. An assessment. A word all of us fat folks just love, right?

The studio (I hesitate to call it a gym) is tucked away on a back street, barely more than an alley. It’s quiet. It’s all open space - no machines, or very few. All their exercises are done free standing, with weights, ropes, pulleys. This studio operates on the “small group personal training” model. They recognize that having individual attention is the best way to get the best results, but that most people don’t want to shell out megabucks for a one-on-one trainer, so they do small groups of no more than five. Plenty of individual attention from your coach, who knows exactly where you are in your workouts before the session, but nobody’s breathing down your neck. 

The owner asked me extensive questions about how I felt. Did I have pain or tightness anywhere? Do I sit a lot at my job? Did I have any symptoms or conditions? How do I feel on a daily basis? What activities do I like to do, what would I like to be able to do?

Then she took me through a thorough physical assessment. She measured my resting standing posture from a bunch of angles. She used tools to measure angles and distances between various parts of my skeleton. She had me hold a few very specific positions and then resist her pushing on my leg or arm to isolate specific muscles. She measured my range of motion in all my joints, the resting positions of my limbs, my flexibility in various positions.

She showed me around their studio. There were about eight people there, in two groups, each with a coach. That’s about as many as would ever be there, she said. The people exercising ranged from a woman bigger than me to a very fit-looking older guy. Everyone was relaxed as they sweated, everyone was smiling and interacting. Music was playing, but it was moderate-volume 80s pop. There were no TVs. It was…peaceful.

I signed up for their two-week trial. My first session would be a one-on-one session, with her, to teach me good form for the exercises they do, so that in my first group class I’ll feel like I know what I’m doing.

It wasn’t until I was leaving that it hit me.

She never weighed me. Or measured my body fat.

She never even mentioned it. She never asked if I had a goal weight, or how much weight I wanted to lose. The only time it came up was when we went over the “goals for my program” I listed on the intake paperwork, and that came from me. She only talked about me getting stronger, alleviating joint pain (my knees ain’t super great, yo), and feeling better.

In fact, I looked around as I was leaving - there wasn’t even a scale in the place.

I think I’m gonna like it.

[Note: I have specifically not mentioned the name of the studio - if you live in Columbus and would like to know, please message me and I’ll be happy to share it]

Circus au

Part 2:
Keith wasn’t exactly sure what kind of work he was expecting, however he didn’t think he would end up manning a large winch backstage.
“Shiro I really don’t know what I’m meant to do.”
Shiro smiled, he had shed his coat and was now wearing only a simple tight black leotard and black slippers. “Don’t worry, Pidge will be here soon.”
“What the hell is a Pidge?”
“That would be me.” A small boy? Dressed in a grey tunic and darker pants seemed to appear from no where making Keith jump out of his skin.
“Oh and Shiro, Allura wants you ready to go on, your up after Lance.”
Shiro nodded giving Keith an almost sympathetic look as he hurried off.
“So your the new guy huh?” Pidge didn’t seem to be asking farther making a statement as he rushed around checking the ropes by the winch.
“Yeah my name.”
“Keith, you just got out of prison for getting your good times with another man.”
Keith paled “h-how did you know?”
Pidge shrugged “I have my ways. Anyway here’s what your going to do. Lance will come out to the middle of the tent and grab onto the white silk that’s hanging down. When he blows a kiss to the audience you start turning the handle till it won’t go anymore and flick this switch.” Pidge pointed to a small mental switch by the rope. “This will hold everything in place, but keep a tight hold just in case. When his act ends and he blows another kiss to the audience then you slowly start to unwind the winch and lower him to the ground. Understand?”
Keith nodded, it seemed simple enough. How hard could it possibly be?
Pidge left soon after shouting after someone called Hunk telling him to stop handing out snacks right before show time.
“Hey mullet you nervous?”
Keith turned around recognising the annoying voice of Lance. However the second he saw him, Keith felt his hear skip a beat.
Lance was wearing a sinfully tight blue costume that was both sleeveless and legless. It was cut with a deep v neck showing off his well toned chest with the edges decorated with silver glitter.
However it was his face that really caught Keith attention. It was a dark blue that really make his beautiful blue eyes stand out. By each temple there was a Crescent moon painted with was looked like a night time ocean scene stretching from one side of his face to the other over his eyes.
His lips were painted silver and were upturned in a smirk.
Keith shook himself out of his daze and closed his mouth never remembering actually opening it in the first place.
“N-no why I would I.” He stammered.
Lance shrugged “well your the only thing between me and hitting the floor, I mean I’m the best acrobat here so I’m fine, but you mr Winch guy could easily mess up and drop
me at anytime.”
Keith scowled, it didn’t matter how pretty he was, the guy was a jerk.
“I think I got it.”
Lance rolled his eyes “if you say so.”
The lights suddenly lowered and a hush fell amongst the busy people backstage.
Suddenly a booming voice came from the other side of the curtain.
“Ladies and Gentleman! children of all ages! I welcome you to the Voltron circus!” A woman’s voice said, she had an English accent and Keith found himself curious.
He peaked through the gap and watched as a tall dark skinned woman seemed to captivate the crowds with only her words.
She was dressed like a man in her position would be, a well tailored suit and a top hat.
Keith was sure that on a lesser woman it would of looked ridiculous, but she carried herself with such grace that it seemed natural.
“Now our first act of the night, the loverly, the captivating, the enchanting, Siren!”
The crowd erupted into loud cheers.
“Well that’s my que, wish me luck Mullet, not that I need it.” Lance winked as he walked out playing to the crowd with every step.
Keith was so busy blushing that he almost missed the signal.
Turning the winch was much harder then Keith had originally assumed.
By time the wheel wouldn’t turn anyone Keith found his arms shaking and that he was covered in sweat.
He flicked the switch and kept a hand on the handle and only then did he look back to Lance.
Keith almost wished he hadn’t.
While turning the winch, he hadn’t realised how high Lance was rising, or that he was hanging off the bottom with only one hand looking like he was about to fall to the ground far below him.

5

Brett x Reader

Requested by Anon


Brett knew you were gone. He knew before Liam and Mason came to ask if he knew you, he knew before Scott and Stiles started looking for you and he knew long before the letter came.

He didn’t breathe a word of the letter to anyone. The boy wanted to save you and prove the argument you’d had before they had taken you was nothing.

Keep reading

Not So Gentle 3/4 - Peter Parker Drabble

Prompt: Reader has been kidnapped only to find out her long time best friend is apart of this scheme, she faces a whole new side of Peter 

Warnings: Some fluff, fighting with bad guys.

Word Count: 1,201

Pairing: Peter Parker x Injured! Reader

A/N:  (part 1),(part 2) So here’s part 3 guys tell me what you think : )


If you were to give up on hope you would have done it a long time ago, but Peter made it his mission to get you back to your father. He told you why he did it, why he sided with Toomes. When you were kidnapped by him. Everyone who was still left at the Avengers Tower blew their caskets. Your dad had set out a team to find you, but had no such luck. Peter thought that this was by all means his fault since that was his enemy after all. He thought back to what Toomes told him one night in the taxi cab. How if he messed with him he would kill him and everybody he loved. So he thought this was some sort of “I told you so” situation and you just happened to get into the cross line of it.

“Drew I’m heading out make sure the kid does what he’s suppose to!” Toomes shouted out already suited up.

“Oh trust me he will” You could hear a smile in his tone.

“I’ll be back by midnight!”. Toomes then flied off into the night.

Once he was surely gone Drew bolted to Peters room. “Peter! He’s gone, you have half an hour!” He stood at his doorframe. Peter was already prepared. His old spiderman suit on. Mr. Stark still hadn’t given it back to him. If Peter was ever going to show Mr. Stark that he could be better-do better, he was going to start off by bringing you back home safely.

“That’s thirty minutes! How am I going to get her across the city?!”.

“Were wasting time, you’re Spiderman for crying out loud, you’ll think of something!” Drew was pushing him to the basement.

The two practically skipping steps to reach you faster. Peter pushed the metal door open and switched the light on seeing you tied to the chair. You were worn out. Your body covered it cuts and blood. Your hair disheveled. Your eyes sunken in. Black circles under you eyes. You did not look good. Peter scurried to you untying the ropes as quickly as he could, Drew helping him in the process. You never felt more relieved to have the ropes off your wrist.

“Y/N, baby, I need you to work with me here, okay? We’re getting you home, I’m getting you out of here” He lifted your chin up with his thumb to make you look at him. “h-home…” You murmured. “Yes, yes home exactly!” He nodded in relief that you gave him a response.

He put one arm behind your lower back and the other under your legs picking you up. He didn’t seem to struggle that much since you’ve gotten lighter, which made him more concerned. He made sure you were secure in his arms before he started ascending up the stairs. Drew following right behind you guys.

“You good?” Drew asked him as they approached the entrance of the warehouse.

“Yeah” He sighed looking down at your figure. You didn’t deserve this.

“You have twenty five minutes left, I suggest you take downtown, it’ll be a whole lot quicker, plus there’s hardly any traffic at this time” Drew glanced at his watch.

“Thanks again Drew, for everything man” Peter looked down at you.

“Don’t sweat it kid just make sure she gets home safely” Drew placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll see you soon alright, just take care of her” He gestured towards you.

“I will” Peter spoke with determination.

“Y/N hold on tight on” He whispered into your hair. Your mind was still a little fuzzy, but you managed to wrap your arms around his neck. Peter kissed your head and secured one arm around you. The other shooting out a web. You two were instantly pulled up, Peter doing his best to make sure not to drop you, while also trying to swing from building to building, and keeping a look out for the Vulture. Drew was sure right about there not being any traffic. The streets were practically deserted.

He thought you two were lucky since he saw the Avengers Tower not too far ahead. Just a few more swings he thought. As Peter shot out a web that attached to a building it was quickly cut. Both of you began to fall to the ground, yet Peter wasn’t going to let that happen. He shot another web to prevent the fatal fall. He swung you both down to the pavement. Peter frantically looked around for the source of them falling. He sunk down to the floor with you in his lap.

“Y/N I’m going to set you down here for a bit, okay?” He cupped both of your cheeks worry written on his face. “I’ll be right back, I promise” He kissed you on forehead his lips lingering there for a moment. He pulled back and saw you staring back at him. Your big Y/e/c eyes fully open now. “D-Don’t g-go” You croaked. “I’ll be right back” He kissed you softly. Peter glanced down the street. He only had to go 7 more blocks to get you to your dad, but Toomes was preventing that from happening. His senses went off, hearing something approaching. Peter set you down in a dark corner where no one could see you if they passed by. “I’ll be right back” He whispered. He placed a tender kiss on top of your head and shot out a web. You were left alone, scared, tired. You wanted to help but you couldn’t.

Peter swung up to the roof of an apartment building. “Well if it isn’t our friendly neighborhood Spiderman” Toomes said bitterly.

“It over Toomes!” Peter bellowed.

“Where’s the girl?”.

“Far away from you!”.

“I’m hurt Peter, I’m…really hurt”. Toomes pretended to be hurt by placing a hand over his heart.

“I was never going to be on your side!”.

“You knew what you signed up for kid” Toomes approached him slowly.

“I know” Peter shot out a web pulling him towards him and kicked him in the chest part of his suit. Toomes stumbled back for a few seconds only to blast him with his gun. Peter flew back against the wall landing on his side. He groaned out in pain. He got back up and swung in to give Toomes another kick. But Toomes was quicker and sent him falling over the ledge. Peter was trying not to end up splattered all over the cement so he shot out a web and went rolling on the street. 

Peter groaned in pain. He stopped rolling in front of you barely able to see you clearly, but you were there. “P-Peter You o-ok” Your voice still hoarse. “Y/N just stay there!”  He raised his head up. The vulture landed in front of him. “Y/N!” He groaned. Peter did his best to crawl to you but every time he moved he was in agony pain.

“So much for a happy ending. Huh Peter?” Toomes bent down to eye level mocking him.

“Argghh” Peter continued crawling to you.

“Too bad you won’t live to tell the tale!” Toomes raised his hand and knocked Peter out cold. Everything going black.

Part 4 :)

Demon Dean Pt. 2

Summary: Dean comes back, still as a demon to have sex with reader once again. He’s even more turned on when you tell him you like him better this way.

Warnings: Language, Smut

You sat in your house, laid on your couch, moved to your bed, sat in the bathroom, you tried everything to get Dean out of your head. You’re trying to convince yourself you hated having sex with a demon but shit you didn’t. He was hotter this way. Now knowing he’s a demon and he chose you to have sex with makes this 10x hotter and harder to forget about him.

You went back to your couch and turned in the TV. It’s was about 12 in the morning, your eyes became heavy, you eventually drifted off to sleep.

You were woken up by a loud noise up stairs. You looked at the clock on your phone “3:13” you looked around seeing if there were any weapons around. Of course nothing. You sat up and tried hiding. You heard someone call your name.

“Who the fuck?” You whispered to yourself

“I’m tried of playing games! Let’s get this game done!” You heard, shit that’s Dean! You were a little too excited to see him.

“Dean?” You shouted up to him

“Hey baby miss me?” He asked, he was right in front of your face now. His hot breath on your face made you wet.

“Dean what are you doing here?” You wanted to act badass but all you wanted was him to be fucking you.

“I came back for more. I need it.”

“Oh you need it huh?” You asked with a smirk. “What makes you think I want you?” You asked him. You’re such a tease you thought. The only light was from the TV.

“You’re soaking wet right now”

“ What makes you think that?”

He smirked and ripped your panties off. You were only wearing on of his t-shirts and your underwear. He stuck his hand down to your soaking wet folds.

“I don’t think baby, I know” he’s voice was deep, his were pitch black now. Fuck he’s hot.

“What can I say? I like this Dean better?” You smirked. He was face was insanely close to yours, his lips were so close you’re surprised he hasn’t kissed you yet.

“Dean” you said in almost a whisper.

“You want more sweetheart?” He asked

“Fuck baby yes” his fingers were still teasing you, not touching your clit, he avoided it.

He grabbed you and went upstairs to the bedroom, he tossed you on the bed, he turned on the light right next to your bed.

“ Lucky for me I know where everything is.” He smirked, you shot him a confused look not knowing was he was talking about.

He went into your nightstand, he pulled out a vibrator and rope.

Your eyes widened. Fuck me. This is going to be amazing.

“Get up and undress for me. Now.” You did as he said he sat in the bed and watched you.

You slowly took off your shirt his eyes were buying holes in your body. Your legs were already trembling from how bad you wanted him. You slowly took off your lace bra. You were completely naked in front of him, he palmed him self through his jeans.

He picked you up and laid you down on the bed. He sat on top of you so he can tie you down. He tied your wrists and ankles to your bedframe. He put rope around your waist and tightened it.

“You’re going to love this sweetheart.” He put the vibrator on your clit “ready?” He asked with a smirk. You nodded your head and he turned it on. You closed your eyes trying not to moan already. You’re breathing started to become shaky.

Dean watched you be helpless and he was enjoying every second of it. Dean smirked at himself and he started to strip in front of you. He was down to his boxers and his dick sprung up and hit his stomach.

He came over to the side of the bed

“Open” you opened your mouth and he stuck his dick in your mouth, you chocked because you weren’t expecting it.

“You like chocking on my big cock baby?” He asked

Fuck he’s so hot. He kept fucking your face, you had moans escaping every once in a while but fuck you wanted him in you.

You tried to talk but he wanted take his dick out

“What was that?” He asked giving you a chance to speak

“Dean ahhh” you moaned as your climax was hitting. He quickly​ turned off the vibrator so you didn’t come.

“What the hell? I was going to cum?” You were pissed

“Excuse me? You need to learn respect.” Dean came on top off you and lined his dick up with you. You breathed in hard waiting for this.

“Oh this is what you wanted sweetheart, you want me to fuck your little pussy huh?” He asked you moaned at his words.

He smirked and slammed into

“FUCK DEAN” You screamed it hurt but felt so good.

He kept slamming into you eventually you got used to his huge cock.

“Yes baby come on, fuck me harder” you moaned, he did as you said and fucked you harder. you kept moaning louder and louder

“You like me better like this huh?” He asked focusing on pounding you

“Yes baby, I love demon Dean. I love you right baby” you were moaning and trying to talk. All of a sudden the room was spinning your vision went blurry and you couldn’t hear anything but you knew you were screaming. You were cumming on his dick

“Yeah baby you liked cumming on me?” He asked fuck

“Fuck fuck fuck” you moaned “come on baby cum inside me” you moaned louder

Just like he shot a load into you and rode out his high with moans louder than some of yours.

He rolled off of you and you both cleaned up after he untied you.

“Sorry y/n I won’t bother you anymore” he said almost out of the door.

“Wait wanna know why I like you better?” You asked

“Sure” he said, he already sounded annoyed

“I’m not y/n” you smirked eyes turning back.


Remember I’m taking requests!!

anonymous asked:

How about pastel!Dan and punk!Phil pet play with Dan being a kitten? Bondage and that good shit is always welcome :P

ncould u do a breeding one?? srry its weird buT thats my shit xx

It’s OK anon it’s mine too/// Our queue has been running low and it’s easier to write short things, so send a short, simple prompt and mark it with * at the beginning, and a one-two paragraph hc goes into the queue. The amount of time it takes for the queue to post is less time than it takes for us to write a full length hc.

We hit 2.8k followers!!!

This turned more into businessman!Phil and pastel!Dan but you know I’m just not sorry

Tags: Pet Play, Overstimulation, Tail Plugs, Mouth Fucking, Bondage, Breeding, Double Penetration, Degradation, Creampie

Nothing was added bc I felt it had to be ~


- Phil’s been away traveling for almost a week, he’s stressed, and he misses his boyfriend/kitten, Dan. When Phil gets stressed out, he normally takes it out on Dan, because they have a d/s relationship and Dan says it’s okay, they have a safeword and all that, and the cuddles are unparalleled afterward. So it’s safe to say that Phil needs to get home to Dan. To make matters worse, his flight gets delayed by few hours, so he texts Dan not to wait up for dinner but he’ll be home before Dan goes to bed.

- At about eight o’clock that night, Phil slips into his flat and shuts the door behind him. “Dan,” he calls when he doesn’t see the boy in the lounge. As Phil takes off his coat, Dan crawls into the room with his kitty ears on his head, pastel pink lacy collar around his neck, and tail swaying behind him. “Hey, kitten,” Phil says fondly, reaching down to pet through Dan’s hair. The action earns him a satisfied purr and Dan tilting his face up to nose into Phil’s palm. “I’ve missed you. Think I can show you how much?” Dan’s lips curve into a smile and he scrambles to his feet, bouncing on the tip of his toes. 

- “Eager kitten. C’mon.” Phil calmly walks to their room, which has been lit with nothing more than fairy lights rather than the lamp. It leaves the room feeling much warmer, and Dan definitely did it to set a mood. “Get on the bed and don’t move or touch yourself, I’ll be right back.”

- He wanders into the huge walk in closet and returns with rope, a whitehead gag, lube, and a couple of toys to use on Dan. He doesn’t need to say anything for Dan to spread his arms and legs for Phil to tie him down. Dan wordlessly opens his mouth for the gag, letting out a small whimper as his lips are held open. Phil just smirks and kneels, fully clothed at the foot of the bed, easing the tail plug out of Dan’s hole and setting it aside as he watches Dan clench around nothing. “Look at you, already so open for me even though I just got home. You’re just looking to be filled up with my cum, aren’t you kitten?” Dan whines and nods. His back arches when Phil runs his fingertips up Dan’s inner thighs. He knows better than to touch himself without permission except for his tale, and he’s sensitive at the best of times, so every touch sends sparks up Dan’s spine. “Have you been good while I was gone?” Phil doesn’t wait for an answer, but moves up the bed and unbuttons his pants to push them down his hips a bit. He settles on Dan’s chest, his cock millimeters from Dan’s lips as he strokes himself.

- “Show me.”

- Immediately Dan lifts his head from the mattress and takes as much as he can into his mouth, unable to suck Phil properly around the gag, but doing his best. Phil’s eyes flit down to Dan’s for permission, which he sees, so Phil buries his hands in Dan’s hair to steady him and starts fucking his mouth. He goes until a familiar heat pools in his stomach and Dan’s face is messy with tears and drool. After pulling out, Phil removes the gag from Dan’s mouth. “What do you say kitten?”

- “Thank you Master,” Dan says in a slightly hoarse voice.

- Phil smiles and pats his cheek affectionately. “Good boy.” Now he sets his sight on working Dan up, slowly peppering light kisses up and down Dan’s neck. They gradually have more pressure until Phil chooses a spot to suck on, leaving a dark bruise just above the edge of Dan’s collar. He moves down when Dan starts to whine and rut his hips up into Phil’s, biting marks into Dan’s chest and playing with his nipples.

- Dan’s fists are clenching and unclenching and his toes curling and he thinks he might come just from this because he’s so sensitive and he’s missed Phil so much. “M- aster please, I…” Dan moans, voice breaking in the middle of ‘Master.’ 

- “Aww, look at my pretty kitten, falling apart even though I haven’t even touched you.” Phil’s hands skim over Dan’s waist at the same time as he moves lower to mouth wet, sloppy kisses along Dan’s inner thighs.

- “Please, please, let me come, let me come, Master,” Dan pleads, head thrown back onto the pillows at the head of the bed.”

- Raising an eyebrow, Phil looks at Dan, observes how he’s hard and leaking, how his hole keeps clenching around nothing, begging to be filled. “You can come if you come untouched.” To his amazement, Dan comes a few seconds later, splattering his stomach and moaning. Smirking, Phil picks up the toy he brought out earlier and covers it in lube to slowly push into Dan. He turns on the vibrations and makes sure it’s pressed against Dan’s prostate.

- A quiet whimper escapes Dan’s mouth and his back arches off the bed. “Master, too much, feels so good-”

- It’s not like Dan’s not used to a big stretch, but it burns a little in the best possible way when Phil slips a slicked up finger past Dan’s rim alongside the toy. Dan practically screams, but to his credit, remains relaxed and allows Phil to keep stretching him. “I’m gonna fill you up with my cum,” Phil says in a low voice as he gently pushes in a second finger. “You’ll be so wrecked, stretched out from me and a toy at the same time, dripping with my cum and yours, fucked out and perfect for me.”

- He starts sucking the head of Dan’s cock to distract from the burn of adding a third finger. Before long, Dan’s coming down his throat with his second orgasm of the night, still panting and begging Phil to fuck him. Phil pulls completely off of Dan despite the small noise of protest and lubes himself up. His eyes flicker up to Dan’s for the permission he already has before pushing in alongside the vibe. Dan’s tight around him, even tighter than usual, and it feels so good, especially paired with the toy pulsing along the underside of his cock.

- “Please, Master, move!” Dan pleads, pulling even harder at the ties holding him in place. “Hurts but it feels so good, please, move, Master! Fill me up, breed me like a good bitch, please!”

- Phil starts slowly, but gradually moves faster, transfixed with the way that Dan’s so full that he can see a slight bulge moving under Dan’s taught abdomen every time he thrusts forward. “That’s what you want, huh, slut? To be bred like the fucking whore you are, shown your place? You’re nothing more than a hole to be fucked.”

- For a moment, Phil pulls out, drawing a sound of complaint from Dan’s lips to untie his legs and pull them over Phil’s shoulders so he can get deeper into Dan when he goes back to fucking him. The new angle has Dan nearly screaming with every thrust, and he comes a third time, only a pathetic dribble of cum dripping from his red and abused cock. “Please, Master! Please, hurts, Master! Cum, please, I need it, I need it so bad! Need to be filled up, claimed, need it, please!”

- That’s what finally drives Phil over the edge, allowing himself a small sound as he pushes as deep into Dan as he can, his high seeming to last forever. When he’s done, he winces and pulls out, turning off the vibrator and removing it as well. Everything’s sticky with cum, and it leaks slowly from Dan’s red, open and abused hole, still trying to flutter closed around nothing.


Damn I have a thing for overstim someone stop me. I didn’t include aftercare but it’s really important, esp after a scene like this!

-Matt

Send us your sins or for shorter prompts mark * for the queue

craving you

Originally posted by uncensoredsideblog

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Female Reader
Rating: M 
Warnings: Smut, language, depictions of unprotected sex (don’t do this, kiddos) - 18 years+ only please! 
Summary: Your job keeps you busy, and Seb’s keeps him busy too. You’re not really sure how to define what the two of you are, but you know when he’s away, it’s the worst, and when you’re together? It’s pretty explosive.
Author’s Note: I heard this song, and I had to write this, because my daydreaming once again got the best of me. The title comes from the Thomas Rhett + Maren Morris song of the same name. 

You’re in the back of the conference room and you’re pretty sure he hasn’t spotted you yet. You’d be able to tell if he had – his eyes would light up and that slow, easy grin would slide onto his face. You love that smile and hate it in equal measure, because it turns you into a flustered mess, and he knows it.

You watch for a bit as he answers fan questions and you have to smile at how generous he is with each and every one of them. When he literally comes off the stage to sweep a girl into his arms, the screams are deafening, and you’re smiling so wide it hurts.

After the panel is over, you head over to the roped off section that you’re pretty sure leads to backstage, and you hope he sees you. None of this is planned - he doesn’t even know you’re here. He comes out from behind the curtain, and stops for a few photos even as he’s being rushed along by his manager. There’s not a ton of people here yet, but his eyes skip over you quickly as he looks up, and you find yourself holding your breath as he double takes.

“My god–” you see him say out loud, and you can’t control your smile now. He takes a few quick strides to where you’re standing, and pulls you in for a hug, your arms already outstretched towards him when he gets close. “Jesus Christ.” He says. “Did I know you were coming?”

“Nope.” You say, muffled into his jacket. “Surprise!”

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Jumin's favorite things.

Jumin is dominant Yea? This headcanon is fairly well established… but what /exactly/ does Jumin Han like?

-pulling you by the hair so you will look at him at all times (and grabbing your face if he needs to)
- This boi, he may be daddy af but LOVES when you wear the fancy lingerie he bought you on his last business trip to Paris.
- L E A S H E S
- when you are in so much pleasure that you bite him or scratch him during sex
- when you snuggle into his neck while straddling him(and grinding on him)
- when you sit in his lap like a good little girl, so that he can kiss and bite your neck softly while gently rubbing your thighs.
-he is professional af but if you come into work and tease him a little he’ll love if you give him a blow job.
-loves just~ caressing you. Every part of you, and telling you how amazing and gorgeous you are one minute.
- then fucking you silly with your arms tied above your head the next
- did I mention ROPES AND HAND CUFFS?
-bringing you to the edge but not letting you orgasm
-SPANKING OH MY GOD DON’T GET ME STARTED IN SPANKING. HE’LL SPANK YOU FOR 15 MINUTES STRAIGHT BECAUSE YOU CAME BEFORE HE SAID YOU COULD BUT AFTERWARDS HE’LL RUB THE AREAS HE SPANKED TO SOOTHE THEM.
-you.

Punishment



(requested by anon)

word count : 3 487
warning : smut (overstimulation)
summary : Kai sees Reader dancing with another guy and then punishes her.
*not my gif
______________________

‘Come to the party with me. It will be fun.’ she had said. And it had been fun when they were dancing together , her hands hooked losely around his neck and her body pressed against his while his hands were holding onto her waist. Kai loved seeing her locks dance around her shoulders , her smile , her wide eyes and hearing her laugh. He spin her around in vampire speed having her press her back against his chest as she’d move up and down to the beat. Kai had gone to get them both beer and a few moments later some old classmate of hers had shown up out of nowhere. Y/N danced with him while waiting for Kai who appeared to have gotten pushed away by the crowd and he ended up having to watch her dance that guy who couldn’t keep his hands off her. Y/N kept pushing them away but he didn’t take the hint and Kai tried very very hard not to act like the jealous boyfriend and rip the guy’s head off in the middle of the party. Not that anyone would’ve noticed if he had. Everyone appeared to be either drunk or high or about to be either of those things. Part of the reason why Kai had agreed to go with her , had been this - to keep her safe from anyone putting something in her drink or anything like that. He didn’t know if it was paranoia or overprotectiveness , he just knew there is no way he’d let anything happen to her. Y/N was everything to him. He loved her with every cell in his body , more and more each day.
Y/N ran her fingers through her hair jumping up and down to the beat with a cup semi - filled with beer in her hands with her back to the guy while he kept placing his hands on her waist pulling her towards him. Her empty cup fell on the ground and she turned towards the guy keeping him an arms lenght from her , glancing at Kai who was standing not too far away with a cup with beer in his hands. He raised his cup for a moment , not taking his eyes off her. Another song started to play and finally Kai couldn’t take another second of it. He pushed his way through the crown and grabbed her wrist pulling her away from the crowd. As soon as they were in the small hallway , he backed her against the wall , bracing his hand on it and leaned towards her. It was hard for him to keep his anger under control but he tried his best to do so. It wasn’t time or the place for him to let it all go.
Y/N was looking at him with wide eyes , lightly slipping down the wall and Kai had to wrap his arm around her waist , keeping her up.
“Whoops.” she laughed. “I m-may have a bit more to drink. I’m not drunk though -”
“I know you are not sweetheart.” he said calmly. “I wouldn’t have let you get drunk even if you wanted to.”
“My knight in shining armour.” she smiled at him , tapping his nose or at least she thought it was his nose. Kai was slightly blurry at the moment.
Kai laughed under his breath.
“You will sober up pretty fast after we get home, trust me sweetheart.” said Kai brushing his fingers against her cheek. Y/N looked at him with puzzled expression and then started to giggle. She wasn’t drunk exactly , more like lightly buzzed. In a few hours it would all be gone and her mind would be clear once again. He smiled devilishly at her and lifted her up bridal style , carrying her to the car. The entire ride home his girl spent singing along to the radio and trying to get him to sing with her too. Except he felt far away from singing with her in that moment. He kicked the gas pedal harshly , breaking all speeding limits and they got home like 15 minutes earlier than usual.
Kai helped her get out of the car and carried her into the house. Her hands hooked around his neck and she tapped his nose , smiling at him. The sound of the front door closing with a bang making her jump up a bit.
“Too loud.” she muttered squeezing her eyes shut for an instant.
“Sorry princess.” he said quietly. “My hands are full. Couldn’t close it quieter.”
“You are so nice to me.” she said starting to wonder why that was. Her mind had started to clear from the colder air outside and very slowly things were starting to figure things out. “Why ?”
Kai reached their bedroom and let her down on their bed gently , taking her shoes off for her. Something was up and Y/N tried to be on alert but it didn’t work out like she had wanted. She ran her fingers through her hair and propped herself on her elbows as he crawled over her until their eyes were on the same level.
“Sweet innocent Y/N.” he said with a devilish smirk on his face , brushing his fingers against her cheek. “Tell me , did you have fun tonight? Because I didn’t.”
Y/N’s mind started to wake up slowly , sensing the danger and anger heating up the air around Kai in that moment. He appeared calm but that just meant he was even more upset with her than she had thought. It started making sense. Y/N had danced with someone else , someone else had put their hands on her body even though she had pushed them away.
“Kai I’m sorr -”
“Shhhh sweetheart.” he shusshed her , brushing her hair away from her face. Kai reached under their bed pulling ot a thin rope. “Seeing you dance with that guy tonight - Even I am surprised how jealous I got , even more surprised at my self control actually.” he thought for a moment. “No one gets to touch whats mine. Or did you think you’ll get away with letting someone get near you like that ?”
Thought had crossed her mind , but Y/N knew better.
“I spent the entire night trying to figure out the perfect punishment for you.” he cooed. “Forbidding you to touch me never works for long. Forbidding you to touch yourself doesn’t seem to get the lesson in your head either. Who knows. Maybe this time , the lesson will stick and after this you will think twice about letting anyone else who isn’t me touch you or even breath near you..”
Y/N gulped but before she had had time to say a word , Kai’s lips smashed against hers and he drowned her in a kiss. He gripped on her dress , tearing it right off her , and pinned her hands over her head while his hand slipped into her panties. His fingers brushed against her clit drawing slow eights with his thumb while pushing two fingers inside her , pumping them slowly. Y/N looked at him with confusion. If that was to be her punishment every time she did something maybe she’d do it on purpose. No , something was not right.
“I’m only warming up , baby girl. By the time I am done with you , you will feel like you’ve been thrown straight into Hell.” he cooed.
“Wha-what ?”
Kai pulled out his fingers , licking them clean and tore off her panties and her bra tossing them on the ground , then used the thin rope he had pulled from under the bed to tie her wrists together. He left sloppy wet kisses all the way down her neck onto her chest making her arch her back. Y/N tried to move her hands and touch him but he pushed them back up almost instantly.
“No , no , no..” he chuckled. “Don’t move your hands or I will have to double your punishment. God, this will be so much fun … for me at least. You will feel quite sore in the morning.”
Kai parted her legs , brushing his fingers across her heat and spreading her arousal around before burying his head between her legs. His tongue lapped around her clit and then straight down the middle. Y/N closed her eyes fighting the urge to reach her hands and tangle her fingers in his hair , pushing his mouth closer to her.
“Am I being punished or rewarded ?” she wondered, only Kai didn’t answer.
At first he went at a slow steady pace , sliding his tongue inside her in and out while his nose brushed against her clit until she reached her first orgasm. Somehow she managed not to move her hands , holding onto the headboard instead as her back ached off the bed. It was all down south from there. Kai placed his hands on her thighs , holding them apart so tightly there were bound to be bruises the shape of his fingertips later on. Kai sucked and tugged on her clit like crazy , devouring her with a knew kind of hunger , turning her moans into small screams before pushing in two fingers inside her , curling them around slowly and pumping them in and out faster and faster each time , digging in deeper inside her hitting her spot almost every time , getting her to lose whatever self control she had.
“Fuck Kai -”
Kai moaned in response , still sucking on her clit while his fingers assaulted her faster and faster , sending her over the edge again. He didn’t stop or slow down. Somehow he had found a way to go even faster. Y/N’s head was spinning or maybe it was the world spinning , she wasn’t sure which one was the truth. Her whimpers were starting to mix with her screams , his names rolling off her tongue the entire time. Her hips pushed down on his face , wanting him to go faster. Kai was driving her completely mad in that moment. Each time his fingers curled inside her it felt as if he had thrown her into a wild fire and was only adding gasoline to it to make it bigger and bigger. Her walls clenched around his fingers again and another orgasm tore through her body , more intense than the previous one. Y/N’s breathing was all over the place and her heart was beating like a hummingbirds wings. Kai’s eyes were fixed on her the entire time , watching her throw her head back , her eyelids drooping constantly while her mouth hung open. He loved the view before him way too much to stop now or ever.
Y/N reached her hands trying to push him away for a minute only , so she can catch her breath but it was useless. First - she wasn’t strong enough in general , let alone in that moment when all her bones felt as if they had somehow melted , second - Kai used magic to pin her hands over her head again before she had had the time to reach him. He wiped his mouth with his thumb , glancing at her. He could hear her heart beating like crazy and see her back had arched so high off the bed there was space under her to place a pillow , maybe even two one on top of the other. Kai placed his hand on her stomach and pinned her down to the bed without stopping for a second.
“K-Kai s-stop.” she whimpered , feeling another release approaching fast. Her walls contracted around him again and the burning feeling between her legs had build up so much there was a chance she might spontaneously burst into flames.
Kai shook his head. “You didn’t. Why should I ?”
“Ple-ase..”
“No.” he said sternly , replacing his fingers with invisible ones , only slighly slowing down from the speed he had been going with , as he stripped down quickly. His fingers wrapped around his shaft , pumping himself seeing his girl getting closer another orgasm. A smile spread across his face seeing the wet spot on the sheets. Even with him between her legs cleaning up her arousal , there had been enough of it to drip down. “I might switch up your punishments permanently to this. You look so hot right now , coming undone over and over again under my touch - ”
He crawled over her in vampire speed and entered her at once making her scream out. His eyes met hers for a second here and there as her eyelids kept dropping and her eyes were rolling in her head. Her walls contracted around him again and a groan escaped his lips at the feeling.
Y/N was starting to see white and the world around her slowly started to dissolve as she reached another orgasm coming around Kai , who kept thrusting in and out of her , rougher and deeper each time - cheating every few thrusts using his vampirism to go even faster , hitting her spot almost every time. On top of that , he pressed his thumb on her clit drawing rough eights matching his thrusts , pushing her towards another orgasm. The longer this went on the clearer it got what her punishment was , only somehow it kept slipping her mind until finally the thought pushed its way through to the surface. He wasn’t going to stop until she passed out.
“K-Kai .. I c-can’t” she begged him again , a tear falling down her cheek.
“Should’ve thought about the consequences , sweetheart.” he grunted , his lenght twitching inside her. Kai wrapped his fingers around her neck lightly holding her in place, his thumb lightly brushing her cheek right after wiping the tear away. The closer to her next release she got , the more the world started to dissappear around her. Y/N felt as if she was floating on a cloud made out of fire , an impossible concept but one that felt very real to her in that moment. Her heart was pounding like crazy while Kai kept pumping in and out of her , feeling his lenght twitch almost at the same time her walls contracted around him. Her swollen clit was starting to hurt to the touch and there was a slight pain starting to show up between her legs from Kai’s rough thrusts. It all felt incredible but Y/N’s mind wasn’t clear enough to enjoy it completely. Somehow Kai had managed to cloud it completely. Her hands dropped over her head unable to hold on to the headboard anymore , feeling numb from the strain.
Kai’s next words came to her ears as if from underwater.
“Just a little longer sweetheart.” he said , wiping away another tear from her cheek.
A few moments later another orgasm tore through her body , but she couldn’t keep herself awake anymore and the world around her turned black.
Kai kept pounding in and out of her for a few more seconds until he reached his high , finishing off both of them before collapsing onto the bed next to her. For a few minutes he caught his breath , listening to Y/N’s heartbeat very slowly starting to return to normal. He pulled the covers over them and turned to his side , not taking his eyes off her. His fingers untied her hands and brushed against her cheek for a moment.
“I hate that you made me do this to you.” whispered Kai , trailing her jawline with his fingertips and then her soft lips. “I’ll make it up to you , I promise.”


* * *


A few hours passed and Kai stayed awake watching over her. Not only he had gotten his girl to pass out from pushing it too far , but it appeared he had drained all energry from her body and instead of waking up , she had drifted off into sleep. Y/N woke up nearly at sunrise , squeezing her eyes a few times before opening them only to find her boyfriend leaning over her with a worried look on his face.
“Hey babe.” said Kai softly. “How are you feeling ?”
Y/N stared at him for a few moments , not saying a word. The answer to his question was sore but amazing , but the longer she didn’t answer him the more Kai started to panic. She tried very very hard not to give away her reaction and to keep a poker face. Kai snaked his hand around her stomach and Y/N shivered a little , feeling her skin still super sensitive after everything that had happened the night before.
“I made you vanilla chocolate chip cupcakes with blue frosting and I got you your favourite gummy bears.” he said. “You know , those blue ones. The guy at the store was very upset I had demanded just blue gummy bears. What is it with you and blue food anyways ?”
Y/N bit the inside of her cheek trying hard not to start laughing. It was all because of a book series she liked , somehow it had transferred into reality and now whenever she saw blue food , it would take her back to a happy place and remind her of that book character she loves. However , she had never told him the reason why , not matter how many times he asked her. It was her little secret.
“Anyways , I compelled him and now every single blue gummy bear is waiting for you right there along with a couple of those cupcakes I made you. I even decorated them with tiny white sprinkles and a couple sugar made sea shells.” he said smiling , pointing at her nightstand. “And I’m making you breakfast… and lunch. But I am not letting you leave the bed or touch the gummy bears before you answer my question. H-how are you feeling ?”
“Like I want to bite the head off every single blue gummy bear.” she smiled at him.
Kai sighed and smiled back at her.
“I’m glad you want to bite their heads off and not mine for wha-”
Y/N brushed her palm against his cheek kissing him softly. Kai responded immidiately , pulling her closer to him deeping the kiss. For a moment his girl flinched in pain , clearly a little sore from the night before. Nevertheless , her lips never left his and she kissed him more demanding by the second , as if trying to pull the air from his lungs , tugging at his lip at the end of the kiss.
“Never again.” she said feeling out of breath , gazing into his sexy blue eyes. “I’m never ever again letting anyone other than you get close to me. But you still owe me … like two more packs with blue gummy bears - only.
Kai started getting up and Y/N grabbed his wrist pulling him back onto the bed on top of her. His yes sparkled like never before and he was smiling widely at her.
“Not now.” she laughed , tangling her fingers in his locks. “Pass me a cupcake please ?”
He brushed his nose against hers , kissing her forehead gently and rolled onto the bed next to her , helping her sit up before reaching for one of the cupcakes. Kai picked the one with the sugar sea shells. Y/N reached for it but he didn’t let her.
“Nah-uh.” he said taking the cupcake away from her , watching her pout. “I’ll feed you or you will get frosting all over your face like last time.”
“No , I won’t.”
Kai tilted his head and both of them stared at each other until finally Y/N gave up. He let her take a bite , resulting in blue frosting sticking to her nose. He couldn’t helpt but laugh. “Whoops.”
Y/N swiped some of the frosting from the cupcake with her finger getting ready to tap his nose , reaching his lips instead.
“I love you , I love you , I love you - You are the best boyfriend ever.” she said smiling while Kai licked her fingers clean and wiped the frosting from her nose with his thumb. “Kiss me…”
Kai smiled at her and leaned in towards her , not realising Y/N’s fingers had reached for the cupcake in his hand. In the end the cupcake smashed against Kai’s face instead of her lips. His girl looked at him innocently.
“Whoops. Now we’re even.” she said winking at him. “By the way… what you did last night -”
“Yes?” said Kai smashing his lips against hers in a surprise attack getting frosting all over her face too.
“ - was awesome.” she finished.
Kai grinned at her. “You are not going to get me jealous again just to get me to punish you like that , are you ? Cuz if you want me to set you on fire like that again , all you have to do is ask.”
A mischevious spark flashed in her eyes for a second and she brushed her fingers through his soft hair, seeing his eyes widen with excitement at her next words.
“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.

MASTERLIST - SMUT
MASTERLIST - FLUFF

______________________________

Closer

Originally posted by wonnhao

MATURE

Warnings: Threesome, daddy!kink, breath play.

“If I were to mysteriously disappear, no warning or trace whatsoever, would I still be responsible for finals?” Jeonghan questions as he stares hopelessly at the pile of open books covering the table. “I mean, if they can’t find me can they reasonably expect me to continue in my academic endeavors?”

“Probably,” you shrug as you flip through your notes in search of that one particular line that seems to be avoiding you, “universities are relentless. I’m sure they’ll still be sending us those awful ‘what’s happening on campus this week’ emails long after we’ve died.”

A highlighter flies across the table and smacks you in the forehead. “I’m going to speed along that process if you both don’t shut up,” Jihoon growls as he drags his fingers through his hair, just a little too roughly. He fixes you with an accusing stare and huffs, “I have an Anth final in the morning and you promised to help. I want to get back to the studio sometime this year.”

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