how did I not see this before

I did a re-draw the crossover between Yuri On Ice! and Nightmare before Christmas.

I don’t like it. 
I’m sorry. I have 450 followers and I can’t show how thankful I am!
I’ll say it with words: thank you!
It’s an hard period for me and, as I said, I’m not in the mood.
I still wanna draw though.

The pose is so static and they don’t even look at each other.
I’ll try again in the future!
Thank you again!
See ya~

Probably the longest post I'll ever make. And it's about SU :)

Wow. How did I not see this before
- Condescending
- Selfish
- Self-Absorbed
- Immature
- 90% pathetic
- 10% pitiful

=Lar- I mean- hey wait. Ronaldo?
Omg.

Since they were kids, Ronaldo never minded being an outsider- a weird kid- if it meant discovering something amazing or being apart of something extraordinary.
Lars cared about how others perceived him. Not only that, he wanted people to see him the way he thought he wanted to be seen. In other words, he didn’t mind being the goofy kid, as long as he wasn’t the weird one.
So how big of a moment was the one where Lars and Ronaldo abandoned their friendship?
HUGE. It’s literally shaped who they are. Why else was it so important to show that moment, and then 4 seasons later with Lars and Ronaldo being featured in favorably more episodes that other beach city citizens still continue the SAAAME REPETITIVE GROSS BEHAVIOR?
I think it’s to make a point.
Some people are mean. Some are rude and angry, passive aggressive and just overly negative. But a lot of these things don’t necessarily make people “bad” people. A lot of these traits stem from something. Usually from a place of pain. The reason for that pain never seems relevant when we are faced with people who seem to constantly being negative or rude.
And that’s probably why most people hate Lars and Ronaldo to a point where any character development goes under appreciated because it’s so small, or, because they go back to doing it again.
The thing is, for Lars and Ronaldo, this path started in childhood- the most impressionable years of their lives, of anyone’s lives. The things we experience as kids, no mater how insignificant those things seem later in life, shaped who we are.
For Lars, the fact that Ronaldo invalidated the way he felt about being embarrassed hurt him. His friend, someone he trusted to be himself around, to be honest about his feelings “Oh, come on. Ronnie, you know I can’t let people see me like that.” At some point he had made it clear to Ronaldo he was really uncomfortable with being embarrassed, especially over something he wasn’t actually all that interested in. For a kid like lars, admitting something like that would be difficult.

For Ronaldo, he’s never made it a secrete how important the paranormal was him. It’s his passion, his life. He believed with all his being that the picture he took would be life changing. Who could make fun of him if he had proof? That proof was everything to him, and his friend, probably his only friend, willfully destroyed it -which to him was destroying his young life’s work- for something as petty as caring about others opinion. To him, this was far more important. Or at least that’s what he pretends, because it’s obvious he cares what Lars thinks when Lars yells at him “you wouldn’t say that if you knew what everyone says about you!”

This divide literally carved their paths.
This kind of betrayal of a friend, and then never really be able to keep Friends up to teenage years, really defined them as the people they are.

Lars could never really trust anyone with how he really felt. If his best friend could do that to him, then anyone could betray his trust and dump him as a friend. Constantly being aware of your every action in front of others, afraid of embarrassing yourself or being perceived differently than who your pretending to be, weighs heavy on emotion and mental states. For some, they become people pleasers. Always trying to do the right thing and make everyone happy, even inviting this entire persona in front of family in friends of being happy so they won’t worry about them. For others, it’s the opposite. They create this image that they don’t care about things or are extreme confidant or that expressing emotions are beneath them, though they tend to be quick to anger. This is only a shield, pushing aggression out so not to let bad feelings in. Feelings of inadequacy, disapproval from others, feeling disliked or excluded are all examples of feelings Lars tends to try to reject by lashing out. He cannot accept the being the real him will be enough for the people he wants to like him because he does not like himself. In fact Lars has probably spent so much time as a child to a teenager trying to be someone he’s not, he doesn’t really know who he is. People who experience this tend to have a hard time unlearning their responses to things they interpret as negative. Old habits die hard has never been more true because this is how the brain works. Not all children raised by kind and positive parents become kind and positive, just like kids raised by hateful parents don’t always grow up hateful. There’s always more at work below the surface, but once you start developing a type of behavior, without some sort of intervention to stop that course it basically becomes a natural response. This is why people who can’t take criticism usually turn aggressive. It’s a developed response. One that’s really hard to break. Just like anxiety, anger takes a life of its own. I believe this all holds true for Lars

Ronaldo. The path he took was one where he never wanted to look back, he took the “ betrayal ” in a similar stance as Lars, but with much less anger, and a little more desperation. His best friend turned his back on him, and no one else takes him seriously, so what does he do? He has no interest in becoming friends with anyone, and doesn’t care what others think of him, only “the bigger picture”. As long as he’s in that bigger picture. In the eyes of child Ronaldo, the only way he can prove he was right and Lars was wrong, is if he finds “the truth” and is acknowledged for it. Since nothing is in his way, he’s free to follow leads and dedicate all his time to his pursuit. But this also leave little room for him to grow socially. He has no interest in collaborating his findings with anyone who won’t agree with him, so it ends up not actually being about the truth but rather proving his work was important, and in turn, he was important. Ronaldo felt that Lars thought other people who were not his friend were essentially more important than he was. This would drive him for years to prove that he was, in fact, important. Years of believing this is the only way to prove his self-worth drove Ronaldo to be socially and a little emotionally detached from others. Everything he says feels rehearsed. As if he things he’s in his own movie. Which is common, but especially for people who believe they are the only person actually living. Making everything they believe fact, and everyone else who believes otherwise are ignorant, naive, or opinionated. Which is actually really hard for people like this to grasp. In Ronaldo’s case, his dad seems to belittle him for his interests, which probably only fueled the fire, and then Peedee encourages it… also not good. But in reality, this is how people usually seem to handle others (who are frequently in their lives), like co workers or family, who are consistently condescending and self-important. They ignore it. Encourage it. Humor it. Or avoid it. And those who call you out on it are only met with aggressive protests.

The truth is, aggressive, dismissive and selectively ignorant behavior, once developed, is incredible difficult to break. Any behavior, once developed, is difficult to break. Circumstance, to me, defines everything.
Some think that means making excuses for others poor behaviors, but this isn’t the case. It’s only a step in solving the problems left behind by those behaviors.
This is why cognitive behavioral therapy exists! Once you identify WHY something happens you can work on HOW to do something about it. A person can be called out for being an asshole time and time again but it never seems to change anything. But once an individual understands what moments shaped that behavior, they can address it. It becomes real. And they can work on it. Up until that point they probably won’t even realize they are the ones with the problem. As seen with Ronaldo and Lars.

That is until the New Lars and Rocknaldo.
For Lars we’ve seen a little bit of development here and there, but never actually seems to change. That’s probably because people with behavioral issues like Lars, take a long time to break out of those rituals. This is actually a very accurate betrayal of someone who is an ass, but is confronted with the fact they are an ass, and actually seem to be somewhat remorseful. He wasn’t quite there yet. The New Lars was the “big moment” where Lars realizes he is his own problem, and everything he blamed others on up to that point was probably his own fault, not because he’s actually an unlikable person, but because he made himself that way.
And Ronaldo’s I’d say is pretty accurate too. I mean, it took him THREE weeks to get over Steven calling him out. He didn’t lash out- he passed out but even if he didn’t, he probably would have just cried and have vocalized his self-pity loud enough for everyone to hear, and then go stare into the distance in “angst”. It’s not the first time Ronaldo has gotten criticism, but this time it got to him. And he understood. Because Steven was able to put it in a way that Ronaldo couldn’t deny the facts. He was forced to answer to himself.

Although a lot of people thing these to arcs dragged on way too long, I appreciate them for what they are. In many ways I can identify with both Lars and Ronaldo. I experienced a lot of these observations I’ve discussed both first hand and personally. Which is why I’m so interested in their mentality and the “psychology” of two fictional characters. Whether it was intentional of rebecca sugar to write them quite as complex as I’ve described, I’m not really sure. I could be placing my own narrative by accident, but, because it’s rebecca sugar and Steven universe and there are tons of people like Lars and Ronaldo out there, I’m going to guess it was intentional. And I’m fairly certain we are supposed to dislike both Lars and Ronaldo just so we can see that the reasons we dislike them originally came from a place of innocence and sadness. And probably even loneliness, (which I just realized I meant to include in all this and totally spaced).

Again, sorry I’m a terrible writer. But I love just getting my thoughts out there. Even if I only get 1 like :)

I don’t think I’ll ever be over 4.03.
First, Clarke getting all upset about Bellamy not wanting to be inside the ship, safe and sound. Then, Bellamy admitting that Clarke is keeping him sane and centered. But it’s a half truth, we all know it’s mutual, they keep each other centered, even if Bellamy doesn’t see it right now. (Boy, you were there when he did the grabby hands before she went into the col. Actions speak volumes.)
And finally, the way they l o o k a t e a c h o t h e r when signing the other’s name on that piece of paper. How many ways can you say I LOVE YOU without actually saying the words??? Clearly a lot more than I could have imagined in 101, and many times over.

anonymous asked:

how did u feel abt cn lying to us and saying we were gonna meet a new gem huh

I’m not really that mift about it? I was disappointed at first, but I’m actually really relieved. We didn’t need another new character; we need to develop the ones we have right now before introducing someone new.

Yeah, I’m sure CN knew they’d piss off some folks pulling that stunt. It wasn’t the smartest move. But hey, it got people to watch the episode. With the falling ratings, I can see why they’d do that.

I don’t agree with it, but … I’m not salty. I didn’t even wanna go on tumblr after that episode though, because I knew everyone was gonna be down CN’s throats and hating the show even MORE now.

By all means, if you’re outraged, you’re free to rant about it. But don’t cling to that hate for too long. It’s just unhealthy and bad …

Please don’t quit the show based off one episode. There’s so much more to come.

anonymous asked:

KK and JJ have a boner for Crayola. It's fucking obvious since they are fine with being ambiguous and shit about his motivations. I'm tired of this. I think that KK gave in on John because she figured that she could push JJ to remove all of his badass scenes, which he did, and knowing that Rian wanted to focus on Rey and Luke for the next installment, Finn is in the shade. I cannot tell you how fucking galling it is to hope for representation, say it's coming, and then get this bullshit.

i feel for you, anon. i know i’ve said before that i personally am not too worried about it because the general audience LOVES finn, every review had nothing but great things to say about finn/john, and john himself seems genuinely excited about where finn’s story is headed - but i’m also white and see myself literally everywhere all the time so the last thing i’m gonna do is sit here and tell you not to be upset or worried, especially with kathy “somehow manages to get even worse every time she opens her mouth” kennedy at the helm. 

your fears make complete sense. i watch a ridiculous amount of television. i know what happens to characters of color, especially black characters. i’ve seen them start out as leads and end up dead or marginalized to the point they might as well be (looking at you supergirl & the 100 and basically everything on the cw except maybe the flash) as a response to a racist ass fandom like this one. it’s good that tv and movies are so totally different, because since the general audience and critics both adored finn, and they did rewrites for ep viii because of this response, it makes it more likely that the best has yet to come for finn.

at least i really, really hope i’m right about that because you deserve so much better.

Injury and secondary sports updates

Injuries

I’m pushing a 47 mile week, capped off my a 17 miler tomorrow.  We’ll see how it goes.  I did 6 today and it was super easy from an effort perspective.  I was cruising in the upper 7:00′s without much thought about it.  I’d be stoked on that except that my right heel is bothering me pretty consistently.  It’s not super painful at any particular time.  It’s just always uncomfortable.  I’m thinking of taking next week off from running before pushing my weekly mileage into the 50′s to see if it helps at all.  If it doesn’t help, I may need to go see the ortho again.  I’m two months away from real training for the Leadville 100, so I still have a little bit of buffer time if I need to do something more specific to address this.

I also started feeling a little bit of occasional pain where my IT band connects to my left knee today.  Nothing major, but we’ll see if it’s worse after 17 miles tomorrow.  I’m definitely going to take next week off if it’s worse.  I’m not screwing around with an IT band injury.


Snowboarding

We had an office “morale event” today at the legit go-karting place.  But I didn’t leave the office in time to get there for the start.  So I said f it and went snowboarding instead.  I was up there for less than 90 minutes, but it was my first time on the mountain in more than a month.  Last time I snowboarded was the last of 6 consecutive days on the mountain at Steamboat Springs and my body was exhausted.  Stronger, more rested legs made for a better time today.  My carving was WAY better than it was a month ago.  And sections that seemed kind of steep before (easier blues) that I couldn’t carve at all seemed much easier.  We’re doing a weekend in Winter Park in 7 days.  I can’t wait to spend a couple of legit days up there.

Me in my awesome new goggles:

It’s amazing how much nicer it is up there when you can actually see well.


Rock Climbing

Long time readers of this blog know that I’ve suffered from a pretty legit fear if heights for most (all?) of my life.  I started doing indoor bouldering shortly after moving to Boulder.  And it was psychologically pretty difficult at first.  Topping out on a 15 foot wall or boulder was a struggle (impossible for me at first).  I’d get up there and start to freak out and wouldn’t be able to finish the route.  That went on for quite a while.  

A few months ago I started forcing myself to confront the anxiety a little more.  I’d get up to an uncomfortable position and force myself to soak it in.  And I’d remind myself that if I ever want to do the really incredible peaks in Colorado (Longs, Maroon Bells, etc) I’m going to have to deal with way sketchier shit than a fake boulder in a warehouse.  I decided that it was best to start my climbing by doing easy routes with top outs before moving to less sketchy but more difficult problems.  It seems to be working.  Because I don’t really even think about it anymore when I climb.  I focus on the holds and the moves that I have to make and don’t even look down when I’m up there.  I just move my center of gravity over the top and walk it in.  I’m at the point where I really enjoy the high points now.  I can’t wait until the snow melts and I can attack some of the Boulder peaks again.

One of my goals for September after Leadville is to nail a really sketchy class 3 scramble on a 14er with some exposure.  Something like Long’s Peak or the Mt Bierstadt Sawtooth.

That looks like guaranteed death.  But random flatlanders from Texas do that on vacation.  So I should be able to.

I seem to have strained my left tricep/shoulder campusing yesterday.  So I probably need a few days off from climbing too.  =/

Originally posted by house-under-a-rock

Being old sucks.  17 miles tomorrow morning.  Getting dangerously close to my first 20 miler of 2017.

Dear Nayden, 

I honestly don’t know how much more rejection I can take before my soul shatters and my heart explodes. I keep replaying our last conversation over and over again in my mind and I wish I knew what I said or did that was wrong so that I could undo it. Even if you did end up leaving me still, I could have had more time with you. I can’t believe I am sitting here writing this letter to you, sending it off into the abyss, instead of speaking to you directly.

But see, you’ve gone and vanished. Disappeared. Left without a trace. I keep wondering how somebody could do that to another person.

Doesn’t it pain you to think about the massive confusion and hurt that you’ve left me to sort out? And then I think about how you showed up out of nowhere with your beautiful words. So eloquent and well-spoken. You told me my name was sweet and that I was adorable. I don’t think you realize how long it has been since anybody looked at me, like really looked at me and saw me. You made me feel so special. 

And then you made me feel like nothing. Nothing. Not even a person worthy of an explanation or a goodbye. I don’t know when this is supposed to get easier. I’m 31 years old and I feel just as naive and stupid as I was when I was 18. Falling into the same traps, eating up the same sugarcoated nonsense. And I’ve become so cynical and uncertain as my life has fallen spectacularly to pieces, but I believed in you for me. I allowed myself to ease into your warmth. Your features had a familiar softness and everything you said stimulated my intellect, my desire, my curiosity. Kindred spirits. Isn’t that how you described us? 

You called yourself an anomaly. I smiled and said I liked anomalies. You were my anomaly. My short-lived anomaly. A man who appeared when I least expected it and disappeared in the same fashion. 

I would have loved every bit of you, every bone, every cell, every bonded molecule. I would have loved all of you with all of me. And now that potential has slowly deflated, suspended in the air that makes up the space between your body and mine and fallen to the ground, too broken to repair. 

Take care and in the future, say goodbye. 

Sincerely, 
K

anonymous asked:

I don't want to sound rude or anything, I love you and Bobby together! But how did your family react to you marrying someone who's convicted of murder and who's serving a life sentence?

Well everyone likes him so no one really took issue. My little brother wasn’t living around here and I didn’t see or talk to him much until the last year. When he found out he was kind of stunned and was like “what are you doing?! You’re wasting your life!” But that was before he ever talked to Bobby or knew anything about him. Since then he’s been with me to visit him several times and he doesn’t talk shit anymore 😂he likes him.

A Break

I don’t know how many times Sherlock has gone over the papers from the Itzek Diamond case so far, but it is getting a little repetitive. By now he has printed out a family history for each of the drug cartel members, where they used to live, who they had relations with, anything he could find. This is excessive, even for him. And boring, to be quite honest. At least he has taken his medicine and somewhat resting up.

S: The daughter! Of course! How did I not see it before?

So much for resting up…

He snatches up his phone and starts dialling someone’s number. Wait, since when does Sherlock call people? Doesn’t he usually prefer to text?

He is drumming with nervous energy, barely holding in his excitement while he waits for the call to go through. After about five rings a muffled voice can be heard.

J: Sherlock? You alright?

S: It’s the daughter!

J: What? What are you talking about?

S: Alexei’s daughter! She is from Moldova! He adopted her, when she was about five. Don’t you see?

J: Okay, slow down.

S: She must be related to the Itzek family, so Alexei stole the diamond as a momentum for her to remember her ancestors by. Sentiment. Always their downfall, no matter how careful they try to be. That’s why it didn’t show up in any black-market trades. I bet she has it with her as we speak.

J: Great, that’s great. Listen, I just have a couple more patients, then I can come home and we can check it out. I’ll be there in little more than an hour, okay?

S: Right, yes. See you then.

With that he hangs up, eyes gleaming in triumph.

I have a bad feeling about this.

anonymous asked:

Out of curiosity, do you ship anything else in yoi (other than viktuuri)? any brotp(s) and notp(s)? :3

mila/sara mila/sara mila/sara mila/sara mila/sara did i mention mila/sara yet?

I normally don’t have that many background ships in fandoms tbh, I pretty much just stick with the ones that are prominent & canon (not sure why). But I definitely don’t mind reading about them in fics!! I’ve seen Seung-gil x Phichit before and I could totally see how that’d be cute, and then Leo x Guang-Hong. I wouldn’t say I have any notps but my brotps are literally everyone in the show I am in love w/ all of them and want them all to be in love w/ each other. <3

dissociativegod04  asked:

Guys! I just thought of a good idea for a video! Do you know what the accent tag is? I think you should each do one of those so we can see how each of you differently pronounce your words!! 😎 -Alex

Oh yes we did one on our last YouTube before jess deleted it. Dad was great though 😂 wish we still had the old footage because it was funny. From Ollie

starkindlerstudio  asked:

Okay so I FINALLY got the chance to start watching Miraculous and I just... do you get this frustrated over the Marinette/Adrian/Ladybug/Chat Noir thing??? Dear LORD I am only a few episodes in and I'm already going absolutely crazy. How do you cope?

Okay, first of all: yaaay your watching it!! Secondly, before I started watching MLB, I didn’t get the whole “love square” thing. Like, why 4 ships for 2 characters????
But once I did start watching it, I got it. It’s not about how we view them, but how they see each other. And I think that’s really interesting.
Now, as for how I got through it, I just chose my favorite ship and stuck to it. I’ve mentioned before, but I LOVE Ladybug /Adrien. They’re both crazy about eachother and get stupid whenever they meet and I love it!
I barely even ship the other three ships. Which sounds weird no matter how many times I say it. I mean they’re technically the same people but I only really ship certain versions of them.
Anyway, that’s how I deal. Loving one ship and being apathetic to the others.
They’re dumb kids and it’s a fun show, so I’d like to see where the development goes.

Sangwoo’s Feelings for Yoonbum

This is an analysis of Sangwoo’s feelings and thoughts throughout the chapters and how he developed feelings for Bum. This is basically Sangwoo’s POV of the story. It might answer some of the questions I’ve been seeing around about ‘Why did Sangwoo do this or that?’ and etc.

0. Emptiness

I think it’s very obvious that Sangwoo used to be really really lonely before Bum showed up. As a child he was abused and I think he was very attached to his mother so he lost the only person in his life that he truly loved. Imagine how frustrating it is to always pretend to be someone else. Be happy, smile, laugh, joke and hang out with people you don’t even like. You think they’re flawed, shallow, stupid, ungrateful and have ugly personalities (Sangwoo’s words) but this is the only way he can be with people. He has to wear a mask 24/7 that hides his true personality and I don’t care if he’s horrible, he’s still human. He doesn’t whine about it but he’s been subconsciously suffering. He has so many ‘friends’ and yet he’s completely lonely because nobody accepts him for what he really is. He literally does not have anyone.

Now before you blame his behavior and tendencies, I want to point out that I think Sangwoo has Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), shows signs of BPD and also he’s a victim of abuse so with those in mind, let’s start:


1. ‘A perverted stalker?’

A guy broke into Sangwoo’s house and when he got caught, he confessed to him, telling him that he’s been in love with him. Sangwoo smiles because ‘people are full of shit’ and say anything to save themselves. Let’s trust his words here and say he didn’t kill Bum because he hadn’t kill a man in 3 years but I also think at that moment he feels like he should keep Bum around. Maybe out of curiosity? He’s not sure why yet. He just knows Bum is a different case. To do that, he breaks Bum’s legs to make sure he won’t leave.


2. ‘Can I be attracted to a man?’

He doesn’t know what to do with this guy. Bum is not loud or annoying, he doesn’t disobey him and is powerless. Sangwoo started to rationalize things for himself and figure out if he can be attracted to Bum, a man, in any way, basically he started exploring,

But still, he doesn’t trust this ‘perverted stalker’ so he is thinking, ‘I’ll provoke him and I’ll have a reason to end his life.’ BUT to his surprise, his plan backfires. Bum likes the abuse (or at least pretends to). Despite mocking Yoonbum, Sangwoo is surprised! He loves what he’s seeing. I believe he never got a reaction like that from anyone before when abusing them. And so he takes another step forward and kisses him, still experimenting.

He likes the kiss. He decides to keep Bum for now. He keeps him in the basement for a week. He hurts Bum by cutting him (punishing him) but still Yoonbum doesn’t push him away. Sangwoo realizes Yoonbum really is not a threat and is powerless which is why he took him upstairs and when Yoonbum begged him not to take him to the basement again, despite rejecting him, he considered it.


3. ‘You will hate me!’ First Test

Sangwoo believed Yoonbum will eventually want to leave him. Because I think he is aware of his own wrong actions to some point at least. Why would anyone want to stay with him after everything that happened, right? But the big improvement was that he wasn’t planning to kill him anymore. Why? I believe this is where the feelings started to develop. When he sees his mother (the only person he loved), in Yoonbum. Although he can separate these two people very well in reality.

Yoonbum said ‘I love you!’ AGAIN even after everything and Sangwoo is once again surprised! He slowly starts to trust this person’s feelings. He even gives him a knife but… not because he trusts Bum. That’s a test. I’m not sure if this translation is right but I believe that’s what he means by ‘I have something I want to confirm too’. He’s testing Yoonbum’s loyalty. He wants to know if Bum really means it when he says he loves him.

After that the real abuse starts and I believe he’s copying his father’s behavior while Yoonbum is ‘the mom’. He makes him do house chores, beats him up, etc… Meanwhile he enjoys abusing him and is waiting for an excuse to hurt him badly because he’s not emotionally attached to him yet. He doesn’t care. But Yoonbum is always obedient and finally… Sangwoo lets Yoonbum sit at the table with him because he wonders why Yoonbum is so nice to him, always smiling and listening to him and even made him a really nice dinner. He suspects him and it happens to be the same night Yoonbum uses the rat poison. For whatever reason, the poison doesn’t work on Sangwoo and Yoonbum passes the first test!


4. ‘He really loves me?’

When Yoonbum got sick, is where we can see Sangwoo’s emotions to some point. Sangwoo picked him up and took him to the basement but he looked at Bum and actually felt sorry for him (or maybe he just couldn’t see him as a threat. Either way) He went back up and laid him down on his own mattress. He took care of him and told him to rest. You can see him sitting beside him and staring at him in silence and I love this panel so much because you can see Sangwoo caring. can’t help but feel like he’s worrying for his sick bunny xD His emotions aren’t strong but he doesn’t want to lose Bum.

I think the question Yoonbum asked (whether he really meant it or not) made Sangwoo happy a bit. Chapter 5 is where he finally feels attached to Yoonbum and shows him affection. They started exchanging stories. Sangwoo was actually interested to know about his story, although he was a bit disappointed, saying that it’s ‘boring’ and that he hates weak people like Yoonbum who self pity. “Stop going on about how lonely you are. I hate that shit.” Why? Because Sangwoo is not the type that stay sad and depressed over their misfortunes. He’s the type that wants to get stronger to beat whatever and whoever is in his way. But in a way he thinks Yoonbum is like him. He started comparing himself with Yoonbum which is a big improvement. He told him how Yoonbum made things easier for him. “Why? How? I looked for a reason. And then I saw you.” He told Bum he was glad they were together and Yoonbum’s love made him feel stronger which I believe means Yoonbum’s love and obedience gives him confidence. And by kissing Bum’s wrist he implied that the love can be mutual.
Although he still doesn’t fully trust him (which is probably why he also refused the bj) but he was letting himself believe that Bum’s love for him was real. He’s happy to see someone is still in love with him even after everything that happened and after he saw Sangwoo’s true personality. He has someone now that knows his darkest secrets and still wants him for what he really is.


5. ‘Almost there…’ Second Test

Everything seems to be going well after that. Sangwoo was kind and affectionate towards Yoonbum. He took care of him and joked around. Although I’d like to think he was being too nice on purpose and not really himself and that’s because the second test was coming. He wanted Bum to feel he’d lowered his guards. He reminded Bum not to cross the line then left the house and Bum fails the second test.


6. ‘Don’t be pathetic.’ First Lesson

Even though he was hoping Yoonbum won’t come out, he expected it (considering he had the basement ready for him). He does not trust Bum at all and I think he was trying to kill Bum until he saw him calling his name even in his last moments so that changed his mind. It’s as if you want to let go of someone you like but they keep coming back to you so you can’t make the right decision. He wants Yoonbum. He wants someone to love him and he knows he probably won’t ever find anyone like that again. He was disappointed in Yoonbum SO he decided to make him better! Stronger! Like himself. So after punishing him, first he decided to show him how pathetic he is. He found a guy for Bum to kill (’for practice’), meanwhile insulting both of them to show Bum how 'bad’ it is to be weak.

Sangwoo still cares about him and makes sure Yoonbum knows that. The sick little mind games he played, were only because he enjoys seeing Bum relying on him and trusting him blindly. As I said before, it gives him confidence and makes him feel stronger.

This first murder happened. It was supposedly to make Bum stronger, show him how it feels to kill and… the most important part, help Yoonbum understand Sangwoo and be closer to him (spiritually!?) so they can be together.


7. ‘He left me too! I won’t forgive him!’ The Breakdown

Fear of abandonment. I already wrote a long post and talked about Sangwoo’s fear of abandonment here. The panic that happens after he thinks he’s been abandoned and the roller coaster of emotions. Rage, Fear, Worry, Sadness. He feels betrayed. He goes mad … and I have one thing to add to it all. I think that might’ve been how he felt when his mother ‘left him’ AKA died considering the flashbacks. (I’m not sure if this person is his mother though. She might have been a replacement?) I don’t know if Sangwoo killed her or something else happened but we can be sure that he loves and wants Yoonbum equally.

When he finds Yoonbum… he realizes how valuable he is to him and so he finally decides, “Let’s stay together… forever…”


8. ‘See how disgusting people are’

I’m going to skip a bit to where Sangwoo introduces Yoonbum to his ‘friends’. I think this is all to let Yoonbum get bullied, emotionally hurt, to build up some anger in him and provoke him. To remind him this is how people will treat you if you let them. Sangwoo already knows Yoonbum has been bullied and hurt a lot in his life because in a way he can relate to him. They are the same people. They were both hurt and abused and they have the right to punish these disgusting people. And this is all for Yoonbum and for the both of them. Sangwoo is pulling him up to his level or at least close so that they can be together. Jieun was a gift to Yoonbum and Sangwoo was happy to see Yoonbum accepted that gift.



I tried to keep this as short as possible. I think I understand Sangwoo well and I believe this is also the reason why he kills… but still these are only my thoughts and how I see everything. So they might not be 100% true. Koogi might have more surprises for her readers. But still, I love this character a lot and I can’t wait to see and know more about him and his past. Also I kind of fast forwarded the last chapter because there are so many posts about it already.

Rhysand deciding how to win Feyre's heart
  • Mor: Just flash her your baby violets - she'll love it. Just be yourself.
  • Rhys: Be myself? Mor, I have one week a month to win over Feyre. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
  • Cassian: Couple of weeks.
  • Azriel: Six months.
  • Amren: Jury's still out.
  • Rhys: See, Mor? Be myself - what kind of garbage advice is that?

Okay, so I just thought of something where the Voltron writers could’ve be hinting at Black Paladin Allura since season one.

In season one, we see flashbacks to when Allura was put into the crypod by her father, but we also get to see the conversation they had before everything went down.  We now know for a fact that Zarkon, who was attacking the Castle in her flashback, was the Black Paladin, but when Allura was talking to her father, she said this:

How would they form Voltron though?  Zarkon is the one attacking and he’s the Black Paladin.  They have all the lions, so Allura suggesting for them to form Voltron could be hinting that she is also able to pilot the Black Lion.  I mean, she did say, “WE need to form Voltron,” so it’s like she’s including herself in on this fight with her father because we can see that Alfor was most likely the Yellow Paladin.  

I mean, this might be a plot hole or something, but it also could be a really well hidden foreshadow to Black Paladin Allura because I don’t think Keith will want the job.  I see Keith handing the torch over to Allura in season three or the Black Lion choosing her over Keith.

6

Tokyo has become a cruel and merciless city—a place where vicious creatures called “ghouls” exist alongside humans. The citizens of this once great metropolis live in constant fear of these bloodthirsty savages and their thirst for human flesh. However, the greatest threat these ghouls pose is their dangerous ability to masquerade as humans and blend in with society.

→ Imagined Tokyo Ghoul Book Covers

ACOMAF Part 1: The House of Beasts Chapters 1-13 (Rhys POV)

Chapters 1-4: Return from UtM to Feyre’s Wedding Panic Attack
Chapter 5: Feyre’s Wedding & Arrival in the Night Court
Chapter 6: Learning to Read
Chapter 7: Returning Feyre to the Spring Court
Chapters 8-10: The Next Three Weeks & Retrieving Feyre for Her Second Trip
Chapter 11: Feyre’s Second Night Court Visit
Chapters 12-13: Rescuing Feyre from the Spring Court

I did a thing. We’ll see if I can do more before ACOWAR comes out. Below is Chapters 1-4 of ACOMAF in Rhys’s POV and above are the links to those same chapters plus the rest on AO3. Hope ya like!

Summary: Roughly Chapters 1-4 of ACOMAF from Rhys’s POV. It’s mostly a focus on the last two weeks before Feyre gets married with summation thrown in on how his time has been since leaving UtM. Includes her nightmare that opens the book and some lovely chatting with Morrigan the day of Feyre’s wedding.

Hello Feyre Darling

The mountains of the Illyrian Steppes wrought a chill through my bones I hadn’t felt in years.

We flew for most of the day, listening to wherever the shadows at my brother’s back directed us, until at last the sun began to set and we landed in a small clearing between the trees.

They were close. Near enough to sent them on the tendrils of wind that carried their blood and sweat through the heavy pine of the woods. Since my return, I’d lost count of the number of rogue Illyrian war bands I’d had to hunt down and confront. And that wasn’t counting the number Cassian and Azriel had taken care of in my absence.

Today’s hunt felt restless. The outcome had been decided the moment we left the Steppes. These primal encounters never changed even if I spent the hours flying faster towards them hoping they would.

A confrontation. An offering of second chances. Bow down and obey - or pay the debt they owed for the blood they’d spilt, the debt for using fifty years of freedom to push the boundaries however they pleased.

The Night Court would need every drop in the coming weeks that it could spare. Petty disagreements over territory, among other things, wasn’t something I could deal with in the middle of a shift that sought to overthrow the entirety of Prythian.

And once Illyrian alliances shifted, they rarely shifted back.

So in blood, they usually ended.

We threaded through the trees, Cassian and Azriel silently stalking several paces out on either side of me until we hit the gap where the band made camp. It was a small legion, perhaps a dozen or so with their chosen lord in the center. An exquisite gash ran down the center of his cheek. No doubt he had been forced to earn his rank, had likely volunteered for the blood bath.

I wondered what they had done with the bodies, if they’d bothered to bury them properly in Illyrian fashion or had left them to rot in the snow.

Their heads turned in our direction as we neared close enough for them to catch our scent, but by then it was already too late. I held their minds steady from the grip of my power long before the three of us cleared the trees lining the perimeter of their camp.

My brothers strode quietly out from the trees, the swords they’d been gifted at the Blood Rite brandished in their hands in an offensive gesture, ready to strike at a moment’s signal from me.

Slowly, I narrowed my eyes on the newly elected lord and approached, tendrils of darkness trailing in my wake, my wings stretched out wide enough at my back to send a jolt of fear down even the toughest Illyrian’s back.

“Do I need to bother asking?”

My voice was flat, hardly even a question as the lord looked me over once and spat directly at my feet. “Whore,” he cursed and internally, I savored the feel of my mental claws dragging through his mind, undoing every last piece of who he was and would ever become before I let his body fall limp and ragged to the snow. I didn’t even wait. Little impulses of pain trembled along his skin and muscles in those last seconds before he gave up and was no more.

All round me, the forest rang silent save for the bitter, cold wind howling my sins in my ears.

Red splattered in harsh contrast against the snow at my feet, large sloppy drops dripping from Truth-Teller’s blade.

Azriel looked stoically at me as if he hadn’t just shed the blood of a half-dozen men he’d once shared camp with. I often wondered how he managed to lock that darkness away so well.

Slowly, he lifted a brow as snow crunched between Cassian’s heavy boots on my other side.

“Rhys?” Cassian said, dragging my attention down to my hands. They were shaking in a near violent manner.

Whore.

“Let’s go.”

“Rhys-”

I grabbed both their hands and winnowed on the spot before they could say another word.

I did not join them at the House of Wind that night for dinner.


There was blood everywhere.

All over the three young fae hooded and kneeling on the unforgiving marble floor, the dagger I watched fall clattering to that same ground, and most especially all over her.

Feyre stood reaching with a trembling hand for the second dagger covered in blood. Her clothes were soaked from merely one kill that shouldn’t have garnered that much evidence of her deeds. It carried onto her hands - her poor, stuttering hands that plunged themselves upon the fae woman singing herself into death’s waiting arms.

Amarantha sat poised on the throne calling Feyre on with praise. It felt disgustingly wrong.

Feyre pulled the third dagger and I knew what to expect as the veil was to be lifted on the final victim. Tamlin would be waiting and then our fate would be in the hands of this small human girl none of us knew. I felt like I was going to be sick even as Feyre questioned whether or not she could go through with one more murder - just one more murder, and we would all be free. Such a steep price to pay for her.

The hood lifted. Silence fell.

The blood stood out in stark relief against the resounding quiet of the room.

Feyre knelt before the third victim - before herself, her ears turned up into two stiff points, her skin smooth and blended into a soft perfection only my own breed possessed. And her body, which had become so long and elegant with its new fae gifted powers, sat strongly before her, beseeching her move forward.

And that’s when I knew where I was.

I saw Amarantha up on her throne because I saw her from Feyre’s eyes and not my own place on the dias where I should have been. This was nothing new. We’d been inside this prison countless times before and always we failed to get out alive.

Murderer.

The words chanted inside Feyre’s mind as a flurry of self-loathing and hopelessness I only ever felt inside myself welled up beneath her skin.

Butcher.

She angled the dagger at herself and my lungs screamed inside of me to stop her as I felt her anticipate the relief that blade could give her. No, no, never -

Monster.

A relief she welcomed, craved even. It was horrifying to watch, to feel.

Liar.

And it killed me to think she could see herself that way, in any way other than the determined, resourceful woman I’d met Under the Mountain who had saved us all and lost herself in the process.

“Feyre!” I screamed inside her mind, as violently and brutally as I once had to stop Amarantha from attacking her.

Deceiver.

But it was too late.

Feyre thrusted the knife into her own chest and I watched as my mate willingly committed suicide before my own eyes. Somehow, it was a thousand times worse than hearing her neck snap against her will.

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