how dare i make fun of him

Drabble List

So I just finished posting the last of the previous volley of drabbles so I decided to come up with a new prompt list. It’s mostly a hodge-podge of stuff from my own brain or inspired by songs or different shows and stuff but there are some from other prompt lists so, if anyone wants me to give credit, drop me a message and I’ll be sure to do so.

  1. “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.”
  2. “You’re too good for this world.”
  3. “Could you be happy, here, with me?”
  4. “How long do we have?”
  5. “Do you think we’re bad people?”
  6. “How did we become this?”
  7. “I can hardly stand myself.”
  8. “Go to hell.”
  9. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m going to take care of you.”
  10. “There was a time before all of this.”
  11. “No one will ever believe us.”
  12. “Don’t come near me or I swear I’ll kill you.”
  13. “My hobby is making fun of you when you talk.”
  14. “I used to do a lot of things.”
  15. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve moved on and I have to be okay with that.”
  16. “Do you wish things had happened differently?”
  17. “Don’t you dare look him in the eye.”
  18. “I’ll be here as long as it takes.”
  19. “We were never meant to fight on our own.”
  20. “Something’s clearly wrong.”
  21. “There’s nothing I can do anymore.”
  22. “This is going to hurt.”
  23. “I don’t need to be the hero tonight.”
  24. “Am I ever going to see you again?”
  25. “We always have a choice.”
  26. “You’re holding back.”
  27. “I don’t want to feel like this tomorrow.”
  28. “Is that a threat?”
  29. “If you don’t like this world then change it.”
  30. “Are you kidding me? We’re not fine!”
  31. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”
  32. “Keep your eyes on me.”
  33. “You can lie to yourself but don’t lie to me.”
  34. “I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.”
  35. “If you make one more stupid pun, I will literally stab you.”
  36. “I wasn’t going to mention it.”
  37. “I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.”
  38. “I’m here for you.”
  39. “What are you so happy about?”
  40. “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”
  41. “You’re putting words in my mouth!”
  42. “We have to stick together.”
  43. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
  44. “Don’t leave me behind.”
  45. “What are you looking at?”
  46. “How did you find me?”
  47. “Who did this to you?”
  48. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
  49. “I have to tell you something.”
  50. “I need more time.”
  51. “You deserve better than me.”
  52. “This isn’t fair!”
  53. “If you kill them, you’d better kill me too, because otherwise I’m going to kill you.”
  54. “Please don’t shut me out.”
  55. “You are my best friend in the whole world, okay?”
  56. “Don’t you dare die on me!”
  57. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
  58. “You’re out of your damn mind.”
  59. “No one can hurt me like you can.”
  60. “You are my sunshine.”
  61. “This is all my fault.”
  62. “Please, don’t cry.”
  63. “Maybe I can’t fix you but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”
  64. “You should see this.”
  65. “You make me feel invincible.”
  66. “I’ll keep you safe.”
  67. “Don’t look at me like that.”
  68. “Let’s do something crazy.”
  69. “We are not going to steal someone’s dog.”
  70. “Do you trust me?”
  71. “You don’t get to pick and choose. You’re stuck with me.”
  72. “You know I’m gonna win, right?”
  73. “Don’t underestimate what a person can do to protect those they care about.”
  74. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
  75. “Do you ever follow directions?”
Cotton Candy

Pairings: Peter Parker x Wilson!Reader

Request: Hi! A request where reader is Wade’s sister and it’s Peter x reader, includes all the avengers. Thank you!           


Vision has created a chatroom.

Vision has added Peter.

Vision: Thor is hogging the kiddies rides. I do not know where Rogers is and I can’t find you and Y/N to help me stop him.

Peter: Cap is with Mr. Stark winning prizes.

Peter: And Y/N is with me on the Ferris wheel but it got stuck, we can see everyone from up here.

Vision: I can fly the both of you down, if you’d like.

Peter: No!

Peter: The view from up here is beautiful.

Peter: But it’s not as beautiful as Y/N.

Vision has added Y/N.

Vision: Your first date with Peter seems to be going well, quite romantic. Being stuck on the Ferris wheel, alone.

Y/N: It would be romantic.

Y/N: If my brother wasn’t in the seat in front of us.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you do a top 5 Haikyuu characters with the saddest or emotional backstory? The ones that really pulled at your heart strings and made want to cuddle them forever? At least so far in the story. Thanks!

Top 5 tragic (or not so tragic) backstories of haikyuu characters?

1. Oikawa. His backstory taught me a lesson that will stay forever with me. It taught me that’s it’s ok to be afraid, that’s it’s natural to feel despair when you’ve always been on top and suddenly other people start to catch up on you. It taught me that the only way to go on is to keep fighting. It taught me that’s ok to fail, but never to give up. Oikawa is such an inspiring character who went through so much, and hides everything behind his perfect facade. His backstory of struggles and his self awareness journey towards the realization that he’s not a genius, that being surpassed is not a possibility but it’s already his reality made him incredibly human and gave his character a force to be reckoned with. He will never stop trying to make the flower of his talent bloom again, again and again. It made me feel…so much. I love Oikawa, in all his fragile, flawed, indomitable self (ಥ﹏ಥ)

2. Tendou. *slams fist on the wall* WHO DARED TO HURT MY BABY TENDOU??? His flashback broke my heart in so many pieces. Those kids were so mean to him, calling him a monster just because he was different? He was just a little child who wanted to have fun and play volleyball…I’m so proud of how he turned his pain into his ultimate weapon (and kicked so many asses with it)

Originally posted by taejiwoo

3. Kageyama. More than his backstory as a kid, what hurt me was his time in junior high. When he arrived to Karasuno, Kageyama was like a hurt wild animal, so aggressive just because he was trying to desperately protect himself. He never had a true supportive team and was convinced that he always had to do everything by himself. He was ostracized, made fun of and abandoned, by his teammates and by the only guidance he ever looked up to. And now here we have him, our beautiful blueberry who learned to trust and to rely on others and who’s constantly improving to be the best setter possible, to his favorite spiker and to the rest of the team. He’s finally home, and that’s beautiful

Originally posted by not-haikyuu

4. Tsukishima. Eh, another pretty painful one that explained us why the Tsukki that we know is like he is. The contrast between his little self and his older self is heartbreaking. He was a still cocky but very happy little kid…who was lied to all that time. The sport that his beloved brother introduced him to now is just a constant reminder of the pain and anger he suffered. But still, he kept playing, even if…“It’s just a club”. These were all the elements we needed to appreciate the moment he was hooked on volleyball to the fullest :’) I’m so proud of Tsukki, his character development is one of my favorites.  

Originally posted by juminss

5. Ushijima. “The fact that he’s different from other people, will probably end up being his strength”. This was just a calming and comforting backstory, I loved Ushijima’s dad so much, he was really sweet. First of all, refusing to correct his left handiness was an incredible gesture of love (as a left-handed person, I relate so much), he never pressured him to become a volleyball player, and yet Ushijima did, he joined a strong team, he faced so many opponents that made him stronger, became the ace his father admired so much, he liked volleyball, and he made his dad happy. This is such an perfect (and unexpected) backstory for him. 

Originally posted by vyctornikiforov

That being said, I’m dying everyday waiting for Bokuto’s backstory. I’m ready for the pain Furudate, slay me. 

Thank you for your message!

Ask me my top 5 things!

anonymous asked:

Polysander with all them cuddling and it cute and adorable and yeah

Ah, hear that? that’s the sound of YES ABSOLUTELY.

Please forgive some dialogue only fic. I want to try this.

*
“My leg’s asleep.”

“What?”

“I said my leg’s asleep.”

“So?”

“So move, already.”

“No.”

“Verge…”

“I said no, Roman. I’m comfortable.”

“Ow. Hey. Stop squirming, you two.”

“It’s Virgil’s fault. He won’t move and my leg’s asleep.”

“Virgil, move so Roman’s leg can wake up, please.”

“You realize those are mutually exclusive commands, right?”

“No they aren’t. They’re sequential commands. First, you move so Roman’s leg can wake up. Then you commence the cessation of squirming.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“…nerd.”

“Excuse me?”

“Kiddos, c’mon, we’re sleeping here. Can we please–”

“Ow! Ow ow ow! Son of a beesting! Ow!”

“…pins and needles, Roman?”

“More like the furious sting of a thousand angry ants! A raging fire racing through my veins! A tremendous–”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it. Your leg is waking up.” 

“Actually, what you feel are your nerves misfiring as they attempt to reboot themselves after so long without adequate blood flow. See, to maintain proper function–”

“Logan, know that I love you, and it is with great affection that I tell you to shut the heck up. I am in agony.” 

“Bet I could make it worse.” 

“Don’t you even dare think about–”

“Virgil, please don’t kick him.” 

“Aw. You’re no fun.” 

“My darlings, I fear this is the end for me.” 

“…are you serious?” 

“I don’t know how I’m going to go on. You’d best leave me behind.” 

“Behind where? We’re in bed, doofus.” 

“There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it calls to me.” 

“You’d better listen, then. Go to the light.” 

“Virgil…”

“Roman? Do you want me to kiss it better?” 

“Oh lord, please don’t.” 

“I fear I am beyond the aid of even your sweet kisses, Patton-mine. This is surely the end for me.”

“It really will pass, Roman. If you just give it just a moment to–”

“Oh! Relief! Sweet mother of mercy! I am healed!” 

“–wake up again.” 

“Are we done with this yet?” 

“I…I think the danger has passed, my dears, my loves. My darlings, you have seen me through this dark night, and I–mphf!”

“I guess that’s one way to get him to stop talking.” 

“Sure seemed effective. Though I think it’s a little unfair, kiddo. How come I didn’t get a k–mph! …Thank you, Logan.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I still want a kiss from Virgil, though.” 

“Fine. Come here.” 

“Does no one want a kiss from me? I am the Prince, you know. We’re renowned for our kisses.” 

“All right, then. Lean over here.” 

“Mm.” 

“Okay, now Virgil needs to kiss Logan and I need to kiss Roman and then we’ll all have kissed everyone, right? 

“Right. And then can we go back to sleep?” 

“Sleep? It’s morning!” 

“It’s five am, Logan.” 

“That’s morning.” 

“Not to me it isn’t.” 

“Fine. Two more hours.” 

“I’m not getting up at seven, nerd.” 

“Hey, kiddos–”

“Fine then. Eight o’clock, and we renegotiate as necessary. Deal?” 

“…fine.”

“Great. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight.” 

“Night, kiddos!” 

“…it’s still technically morning.” 

Logan!!!”

*

anonymous asked:

n-nasty crowboy? (´・ω・`)

The nastiest.

Just a little Newsies Headcanon
  • Okay so Jack Kelly is often scared by the smallest of things, like someone coming up behind him and whispering ‘boo’ in his ear or something.
  • But unlike normal people, Jack will jump 5 feet in the air.
  • And of course, no one expects this, so one day when everyone is hanging out, Davey goes to tap Jack’s shoulder to get his attention one day and Jack freaks, everyone is surprised.
  • Soon Race, Spot, Kath, and Crutchie all swear to never let Jack ever have another moment of peace as long as one of them is around.
  • So now, whenever Jack hangs out with one of them, he demands that Davey come with him, because Davey (the best boyfriend ever) doesn’t try to scare Jack.
  • Also since, Jack, absolutely refuses to not take on a challenge, Spot and Kath dare him to watch a horror movie, begging to end, at night with all the lights off.
  • So of course, Jack takes on the challenge, and everyone ends up sitting around the TV, with bowls of popcorn, making fun of Jack.
  • Jack basically latches onto Davey, refusing to let go.
  • “Jack get off me.”
  • “No.”
  • “Jack, I can’t move.”
  • “No.”
  • About halfway through the movie, Spot realizes that he chose a movie too scary, because even he is scared and Spot is never scared.
  • After the movie is done, everyone starts talking about how scary that movie was, and then Davey goes and says “that wasn’t that scary. what are you talking about?”
  • Now instead of scaring Jack, everyone tries to scare Davey.
  • Nothing works until, Crutchie mentions something about a teacher (they both share) saying everyone failed a really important test and Davey loses his shit, and doesn’t calm down until Crutchie tells him it was a joke.

stardustsantiago  asked:

i also just headcanon the idea that jake needs glasses but refuses to be a blind cop like amy. plus andy looks cute in his glasses,

he looks SO good in his glasses, don’t even get me started. i want them incorporated into the show somehow. if they could do it with stephanie’s glasses they can do it with andy’s!

and yes i like this headcanon. i bet he has glasses but is too stubborn to bring them to work and wears them in secret. then one day amy catches him wearing them and is like “you’ve been making fun of me for my nerd glasses but this whole time you’ve had your own???” and jake would be like “these aren’t NERD glasses how dare you”

Little Black Dress (Seth Rollins) One Shot

Originally posted by memeyoongss

Characters: Seth Rollins X Reader

Prompt Request: Request by @thenameskaelyn

172: “The food looks great but..there’s something much more delicious I’d like to eat right now”
185: “Open up”
187: “Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?”

Warnings: This one shot has a bit of everything. Fluff, humor, relationship banter, and of course smut. Enjoy! :)

Word Count: 6.5k

Tag List!! ; @ambrosegirlforever | @valeonmars | @thebadchic | @nickysmum1909 | @vsturgeon5489 | @jade4062022 | @rebelfleur22 @seths-skinny-jeans | @lakama15 | @southernbelle24 | @wwefangirlllll | @spiderman2289 | @nickie-amore | @blondekel77 | @princess3733 | @toosweetme | @unabashedwwesmut | @iwannadiehere | @mandazord | @reigns420 | @sfreeborn | @shieldlovereve | @isawthesights | @cam0flug3 | @cfloyd776 | @ashleyvc88 | @xfirespritex | @taryndibiase | @alexahood21 | @itsnethbellins | @castielscamander | @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues | @sleepsiehollowreads | @etherealmoonlights | @florenceivy | @georgiadean37 | @siren-songx | @anglophilestymie | @panic-angel3314 | @smolsassynalilsmartassy | @littledeadrottinghood | @sammusicaddict | @balorismydemonking | @wweburnitdown | @artgurl559-blog | @get-on-top | @baleesi | @supermanpunchromanreigns | @wwesensualfanfics | @theworldiscolorful | @we-work-hard | @the-geekgoddes | @kingslayers-angel

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged! I’d be more than happy to add you! :)

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Hey, Jealousy (John Wick x Reader)

For the anon who asked:

A fic about john wick getting jealous and ends up slightly being some smut. 😏👌🏼👌🏼


Authors Note: Sorry anon, it’s not full smut but i think it’s good enough :D that’s for this prompt. i had such fun writing it! hope you enjoy!

Rating: M

Song: I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - Taylor Swift feat, Zyan

John Wick x Reader (smut)


Hey Jealously

Originally posted by whiteguykarate

I was furious, fuming, positively leaking smoke from my ears. How dare he, how dare he, take a job like that and put a hit on both of us. To make sure no one came after me he abandoned me in the Continental where Winston was currently babysitting me. Babysitting me!

I was more than capable taking care of myself, being just as capable as John in the field but according to him “, I need to take precautions.” My fucking foot! Then he proceeded to deposit me unconscious in one of the Continental hotel rooms. I had tried to leave but Winston and his band of merry men prevented me from doing so, saying he was keeping me safe as a favour to John.

Now here I was beyond irate, holding his note in my hand with his scratchy handwriting saying he’ll be back later tonight after he takes care of things. I crushed it in my fist and tossed it into the fireplace. I could be there backing him up!

I looked to the clock, two o’clock in the morning. I spied the unopened luggage I packed earlier the day sitting across from me when John tricked me into thinking we were spending some alone time. That was until I found out his plans. I stalked to the case and opened it, looking for the perfect dress to wear to the Continental’s private bar lounge. Since he was going to have fun without me, I’ll just have fun without him. I smirked to myself as I pulled out the perfect dress and proceeded to get ready.

All eyes turned to me as I entered the lounge. I grinned to myself. Oh, John how you were missing out. I spied an empty two seater table and sat. A song I didn’t know was playing. The waiter arrived not too long after to take my order “, gin.”

My drink arrived with a tall dark gentleman.

“May I help you?” I asked.

“Your drink,” he offered with a southern accent and placed my glass on the table along with his “, may I?”

I gestured to the empty chair and crossed my legs. I flicked my hair over my shoulder and leaned towards the table. The man’s eyes flicked from my face to my cleavage.

“Like what you see?” I questioned, while stirring my drink.

He smiled like a viper “, never seen anything like it.”

I chuckled low and seductive. Oh, yes, this was going to be fun. I took a sip from my drink, feeling the burning sensation slide down my throat and into my stomach.

Someone cleared their throat by our table. I looked up into a pair of lined, glass blue eyes. I felt the temper I had just calmed flare back to life.

“Winston,” I gritted, through clenched teeth.

“Y/n… Reese,” greeted Winston.

My companion raised his glass to the hotel owner in response and took a swing of the drink.

Winston turned his attention to me “, is this wise?”

I could feel my body beginning to heat back up, I ignored Winston and turned my attention to the new song. Intense and rich the music began followed by the male vocalist.

Been sittin’ eyes wide open behind these four walls, hopin’ you’ll call
It’s just a cruel existence like it’s no point hopin’ at all

I looked back to him, a sweet smile plastered on my face “, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about?”

Baby, baby, I feel crazy
Up all night, all night and every day
Give me somethin’, oh, but you say nothin’
What is happenin’ to me?

He gave me a tight-lipped smile “, I just wanted to let you know he’s back and looking for you.”

I glanced at my companion whose eyes were scanning the room and politely not listening to our conversation. I doubted he’d be the kind to have me under house arrest.

“Thank you,” I said dismissively and turned my attention back to my male companion.

Winston moved off. I shimmied my chair closer to Reese, his hazel eyes looked surprised.

I smiled dazzlingly at him “, I wasn’t hearing you properly before.”

I don’t wanna live forever
‘Cause I know I’ll be livin’ in vain

John was in for a rude awakening when he saw me with this stranger. I chuckled to myself. There was only a foot between our chairs. I dropped my hand from the table onto his knee and leaned into him. His cologne scratched my nose and I had to try very hard not to recoil.  

Reese was handsome with gold flecked hazel eyes, chestnut hair to match and a square jaw line coated with the slightest five o’clock shadow. I spotted a fresh blackening bruise being hidden by the collar of his crisp white shirt. I took my free hand and brushed it open and slid a finger caressingly over the bruise.

“Rough night?”

And I don’t wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep callin’ your name

He chuckled, a lovely bass tone “, aren’t you a seductress,” and leaned towards me.

“Is there another reason you’re sitting at my table then?”

Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin’ your name

“Dance?”

Suddenly my heart fell. John flashed through my mind, that was how we first met. He’d seen me, just I was now, sitting at a table by myself and he’d ask me to dance.

Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin’ your name

“Um –,” I choked.

Until you come back home

I was cut off by a deep husky voice, threatening death and destruction “, there you are, thank you for keeping her company.”

Reese looked taken aback and sank back a fraction in his seat. I could feel the menace and fury pouring out of the person behind me.

“Your welcome,” Reese replied and took a gulp from his drink.

John’s hand wrapped around my arm, a silent command to leave. Suddenly my eyes stung.

I smiled at Reese, while standing “, thank you for your company.”

He nodded without looking in my direction. I let John lead me from the room, everything was a blur. I entered the hotel’s elevator with John behind me. I couldn’t face him so I kept my back turned to him.

“I took care of things,” he announced.

I nodded and silence followed.

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?” I croaked.

He didn’t respond. Slowly I turned to look at him, letting my emotions spill down my face in black rivulets. He was so blurry, all I could make out was his form.

“I’m not the one who was about to crawl into some stranger’s lap,” he hissed.

“Jealous?!” I bellowed at him “, that’s exactly what would’ve happened if you died you jackass!”

I gasped as I was slammed into the wall, I inhaled deeply, my throat tight.

“Yes!” he roared “, is that what you wanted to hear? That I was jealous that the woman I love and wanted to protect was looking like she was about to run off with some strange man.”

I opened my mouth to counter but he continued.

“And I walked in to see you wearing this dress and him and every other man in the room eye fucking you!”

The tears continued to run, dripping off my chin and onto my exposed cleavage.

“I was so worried about you,” I sobbed “, I needed you to feel the same pain I felt when you left me. I love you so, so much John.”

My heart clenched in my chest. I would give my life for him and him for me but, locking me up in this place had hurt me. I felt like he didn’t trust me or think I was capable enough.

His thumb brushed away my spilt tears “, I am sorry for leaving you but I don’t regret it.”

He kissed my forehead tenderly, then each eye. I looked up at him he was still a little blurry but getting clearer, I cupped his cheek and traced his worried and pained face with my other hand.

“I’m sorry too,” I murmured.

He kissed my nose and I giggled. He smiled, a little light pouring back into his face chasing away the pain. Gently he brought his lips to mine in a tender kiss. His arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me a few inches from the floor. I draped my arms over his neck, one of my hands fisting into his midnight hair.

The kiss deepened, his tongue in my mouth tracing my lower lip, probing and thrusting. He broke from my mouth and traced my jaw line. His lips sucked a path down my neck leaving a line of possessive bruises in its wake. I threw my head back and it banged into the gold elevator wall.

“Ouch,” I moaned.

I banded my legs around his waist and ground on his growing erection. He groaned into my ear at the friction and pushed me into the wall, hiking my dress up and grinding into my core eliciting a hiss of pleasure from me.

My hands freely roamed his back, running over his arms, chest and grasping his ass. Tight and firm. Delicious. My hands went back to his hair, the strands sliding silkily through my fingers. Roughly he grasped the strap of my dress to push it from my shoulder. I felt it snap but I didn’t care. John freed my right breast and sucked a nipple into his mouth. I moaned at the wet velvety contact of his tongue and rolled my hips against his hardened cock. He paused and shuddered against my body.

“Like that big boy?” I whispered into his ear as I sucked my own mark of ownership into his pale neck.

I rutted my hips against him and pulled at his shirt but gave up and attacked his belt, needing him in me.

The elevator bell dinged, I hopped off John and did my best to straighten my clothes. The doors opened to reveal Winston.

Winston entered the elevator with a cocked eyebrow and a knowing smile “, John… y/n, I hope I’m not interrupting something”

“No, not at all,” we replied in unison.

Winston smiled and turned his back to us.

I caught sight of our reflection in the mirrored wall. I did my best to stifle a laugh. John’s hair was sticking out at all angles, ruby lipstick streaked across his lips and rained down his chest along with purple bruises. His tie was about to fall off his neck, his shirt also bore my lips mark, three of the first buttons were on the floor and his shirt tails were hanging out his pants. John’s belt was undone and his large tattooed hands were clasped over the tent in his pants.

I was worse, looking like a truck had run over me – twice. My hair was netted and frizzy. I had raccoon eyes, black tracks ran down my face, my lipstick was smudged half across my face and down my neck. So much for the label saying it was none transferable. The left strap for the low cut, black, spaghetti strapped body con dress was broken. Red and blue marks decorated my neck like an elaborate necklace.

John caught my eyes in the mirror and smiled. I ducked my head feeling a bit of heat creep into my cheeks. His hand found mines and squeezed.

The elevator dinged, opened and Winston stepped out.

He turned, a smirk on his lined features “, it makes no sense wishing you a good night but, I must ask that you please keep the noise level at minimum for the other guests.”

“Of course, Winston, good night,” replied John, still holding my hand.

“I’m not the one who’s going to have a good night,” Winston said with a wink.

The elevator bell sounded and the doors closed. I looked up at John who was already looking at me, lust coating his features.

Oh yes, this was going to be a very good night.

The things POTs say when they’re trying so hard not to pay!

The allowance talk is so uncomfortable for a lot of SBs, especially those who are just starting out. When it comes to talking money, many SBs feel awkward or shy; they don’t want to come off like “gold diggers” or “too hungry for the money” or they think it is unseemly to discuss the subject to directly.  First, please realize that cheap ass salts are counting on you to feel this way and will use every opportunity to make it more difficult for you!  You need to get to the point where you can be comfortably and confidently direct about talking money and to pay very close attention to the vibes and responses you are receiving from the POT as you do so!

But, the “allowance talk” is never a one-way conversation!  The POT is going to respond to you and, if he is not a serious SD, there are going to be telltale signs based solely on the language that he uses and the things that he says. Salts and other cheapskates are pathological when it comes to this and they automatically resort to the same “maneuvers” every single time!  When you are experienced, it will actually make you laugh (or cringe) when he uses one of those “patented” lines.

As you start that unavoidable “allowance talk” with a POT, keep one very important thing in mind: Remind yourself what you are looking for!  You are looking for a SD, a gentleman who wants the same thing as you – an arrangement that is fair to both sides.  A true SD has been down this road before, and, although he may be a good or tough negotiator, he is not going to try to negotiate you into a ridiculous deal.  A Salt, on the other hand, is never willing to negotiate anything other than a ridiculous deal.  And, remember this, no matter how good you are with your game, it is no fun and it is not rewarding to try to con a con man.  That is simply a waste of time, and you are better off using that time to find someone worth your time!

To aid you in your quest, I have put together a list of some of the things POTs say when they’re trying so hard not to pay!  

The “Scientist” POT

Arrangements are not science projects and very few POTs are legit scientists, but, there is a category of POT that wants you to believe that an allowance must be based on elements in the periodic table.  lol  So, if a POT says that he is willing to talk about allowances at some future date, but first he wants to make sure that there is “chemistry” between the two of you, he is telling you that he wants to fuck you first and pay you later, maybe.  Trust me, there may be “chemistry galore”, but don’t ever expect to hear from him again, and, if he does put some money in your hand afterwards, it is going to be an insulting amount.

The “Romantic” POT

I always laugh at the following ploy:  A guy on SA says to you:  I am really interested in an arrangement that involves physical intimacy and a deep emotional connection, but when you bring up allowance, he says, “hey, I don’t want this to feel transactional!”  He is trying to guilt you out of asking for money; he wants you to believe that an arrangement is something other than a basic “business, but fun, relationship” . He acts mortified and shocked – shocked I tell you – that you knock him out of his Romantic realm by bringing up the subject of money!  How dare you tarnish such a Beautiful Thing.  The fact of the matter is that he wants to fuck you silly and then give you a “rose” as a symbol of his undying feelings.  This guy is no knight in shining armor.

The “Puritan” POT

This loser is a close cousin of the “Romantic” POT.  He says that he doesn’t want to give you money for your time together because that would make you an Escort and him a John.  And, lordy, lordy, he does not walk to path of perdition!  He does not want to lead you into that Sin!  Instead, he wants to fuck you for hours (more time, by the way, that he could ever get an escort to spend with his sorry ass) and send you on the way with nothing more than pure thoughts.

The “Boyfriend” POT

This guy may be the cleverest of the bunch, but don’t be fooled!  He says, “I don’t do allowances, that is beneath me and you, instead, I like to “spoil” or “pamper you.”  He suggests that he wants to treat you like a “spoiled girlfriend”.  He may offer to take you on “shopping trips” or he may offer to pay “your bills” like your rent.  In other words, he wants to be in total control of how much he gives you and when and for what reason.  The only thing he asks in return is that he gets to fuck you as often and whenever he wants.  Trust me, it is a horrible deal.  

The “Doubting” POT

Much like “Doubting Thomas”, this POT is highly suspicious, at least when it comes to paying money to a SB for companionship.  In response to your request for a set allowance, he responds, “What am I going to get for that much money”, or “What’s in it for me?”  And, when you think about it, this guy is either clueless or a real piece of shit!  A real SD always knows what he is getting; he NEVER has to ask that question.  So, when you encounter a Doubting POT, run away; don’t waste your time! If he truly doesn’t know, why is he even on SA?  And why should you be the one to waste your precious time teaching him?

The “Race Car Driver” POT

This guy is truly insulting! He tells you that, before he parts with his “hard earned” cash, he wants to take you on a “test drive” first. And, when he says that, he doesn’t mean “go for a quick spin around the block and return to the dealer”, he means that you will have to spend hours with him, in bed, and, rest assured, he’s going to be shoving his “gear shift” into every “gear” he can find!  The “test drive” approach is really demeaning, and, if you respond to him with anything other than derision, shame on you!

The “Cautious Shopper” POT

The Cautious Shopper knows that he can’t get you in the same room without paying you money, so he’ll do the next best thing!  He insistw that you send him lots of nudes, lots of times.  He will text you endlessly.  He will set up dates and then cancel them.  He wants attention; he wants to make sure that you will satisfy all of his emotional neediness.  In other words, he is a photo collector and a time waster.  Don’t give him a “taste” of your delicious goods; you’ll be the one with a stomach ache after dealing with this joker!

The “Penny Pincher” POT

This guy is the true Salt. His first offer will be outrageously low, $100 a meet and each meet involves at least three hours and two or more “pops”.  If you actually waste your time and counter him with an amount you believe is reasonable, he will “bump” his offer by $50, add an hour to his time requirement and demand a third “pop” for his largesse.  Or, if he is a little more “clever”, he will resort to one of the approaches listed above!   It never ends with these guys!  They are relentless!

Do not waste your time on guys like this! You are never going to be successful in transforming these guys into a good SD (and, believe me, many SBs before you have already tried and failed!).  This is by no means a complete list!  And, if you have encountered a POT with a different but equally nasty “theme”, please feel free to add to my list!  

Update!  Check out MORE of the things POTs say when they’re trying so hard not to pay!  (Part II) for additional “POT” types!

MERMAID!AU FIC REC

Coax the Cold by MediaWhore (86k)

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

Purer Than The Water (like we were) by FeelsForBreakfast (33k)

Louis is a merman and Harry is a boy. The lake is a good place to fall in love. 

Louis wants the boy to wade deeper, deep enough that Louis can go under and wrap his fingers around his ankles for just a moment. Pull him under. Just touch skin, for a second.

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sakura isn’t allowed to tell anyone, but sasuke is a cuddler. he likes to wrap his arm around her middle and bury his face in her shoulder. he’ll complain about her hair but then he’ll just move it out of the way. he can fall asleep like that while sakura will lie awake, unbearably warm from his radiating body heat and a little uncomfortable from his vice-like grip. 

the next night, sakura turns the tables and holds him from behind. it looks a little less like spooning and more like sasuke wearing a small backpack with the way her arms are wound around him, but she’s way more comfortable, her hair isn’t in the way, and sasuke actually enjoys this position much more. 

in the morning, sakura wakes when she feels him trying to gently pry away her arm. when she focuses, she notices that she even threw a leg over him. 

“nooo,” she whines when he’s almost successful. sakura giggles and plops her arm over his side once again. then she buries her hand up his shirt for good measure.

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anonymous asked:

For the idea thing: Black Siren meeting Team Legends accidentally and she has her redemption arc with team legends.

honestly what happens is sara shows up, punches oliver clean in the jaw and is like im here for my evil sister? no ifs ands or buts she’s coming with me

black siren: no i’m good… thanks
sara: 1-800-did i ask you? you’re going to learn to love again and we’re going to teach you
black siren: I REALLY AM GOOD THANKS

so basically they turn the s h a m e  c u b e into a bedroom for black siren so that she can’t use her powers and like, i’m sure at some point someone forgets to lock the door and she’s just wandering around the ship like, damn it i’m stuck in the time stream and if i don’t get out of here, they’re going to make me play jenga again

god help her she does have some fondness for sara. she might deny it until her dying breath but nobody’s killing that little brat but laurel her goddamn self

sara: aw that means you love me
black siren: nope. nope

mick and black siren get along famously. this is not good news. for anyone

honestly at some point black siren is like come on assholes, let’s be fun. let’s break some rules. stop being nerds, be cool like me. let’s rob a bank. let’s commit a murder. let’s go dance on tables and blow up cars
mick: GOD YES
ray: i just want to be liked so okay

honestly ray coming to see her sometimes and just, talking to her. no judgement, just talking. and fuck, she hates him for being so damn sweet to her with no other motives just because he is sweet, how dare he try to understand her? what an asshole

black siren: i will literally do anything just never make me play Munchkin again it’s so fucking entry level

Dating Do Kyungsoo:

Request: Hi i was wondering if you could please make a what dating kyungsoo from exo would be like but like in a list form and if you do thanks so much   

Thank you for requesting this @luna208 , I hope you like it!!  💕   


Originally posted by lovinthesoo

  • so shy & awkward before asking you out
  • and when he finally dared to ask you out on a date, he was smiling so much that you thought he was making fun of you
  • he wanted to keep the relationship private as much as possible but he loved holding hands with you too much
  • and he was still denying the relationship in interviews even though everyone already knew you were dating
  • “so, how is your relationship with Y/n?”
  • “relationship? i don’t know what you’re talking about”
  • the rest of the members rolling their eyes at this
  • although he cooks most of the time, he also loves it when you do, too
  • at first, you felt awkward cooking for him because you thought you weren’t that good at it
  • but Kyungsoo always hypes the shit out of whatever meal you make
  • obviously, he loves to help you with cooking
  • and by ‘help’, i mean he just watches you with heart-eyes while you do all the work
  • “aren’t you going to help me?”
  • “i am helping you”
  • “by watching?”
  • “by being supportive”
  • no, but all jokes aside, if he didn’t help you with the actual food making process, he would do all the cleaning after dinner
  • he likes it when you both share household duties
  • he loves to buy you stuff even if you keep telling him not to
  • especially clothes
  • the other members are always groaning whenever he stops in front of a clothing store
  • “that dress would look perfect on Y/n”
  • “Kyungsoo, you said the same thing about the last five dresses you’ve seen”
  • “good point! i’m going to buy all of them for her”
  • you almost kick him out of the house when he comes home with all of those shopping bags
  • his favorite thing in the world is to come home to you and listen to you talk about your day
  • he always has this dreamy expression on his face whenever you start talking and you’re pretty sure he’s not even listening to you
  • and you’re right, he’s not
  • he’s just hypnotized by the movement of your lips and so overwhelmed with love that he can’t focus on anything else
  • more than once, Kyungsoo was caught in this dream state by Chanyeol, when they were backstage of a show
  • and obviously, Chanyeol started to tease him
  • Kyungsoo lowkey wanted to beat him up
  • but then his phone lit up indicating another text from you
  • and he returned back to his dream world, ignoring Chanyeol completely
  • he would love to kiss you SO MUCH
  • like, when you first started to date, he was a bit awkward when it came to kissing
  • but then oh bOY
  • he can’t go five minutes without kissing you
  • on the lips, on the cheek, on the neck, honestly, it doesn’t even matter to him
  • that’s another thing the members tease him about
  • but both of you just glare at them and they back off
  • he loves you so much, he’s still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship two years later
  • gives you flowers randomly
  • still asks you out on dates
  • prepares you dinner after he knows you’ve had a long day
  • he’s such a huge sweetheart
  • you’re kind of concerned about your mum & grandma falling in love with him too
  • because the boy brings them flowers too whenever he visits your house
  • there’s a silent agreement between everyone who knows you two that you’ll get married
  • no one ever says “if you get married” because they know you will
  • and nor you, nor Kyungsoo, are denying that
  • it’s hard when he’s away for long periods of time
  • but you never deal with any insecurities because you love each other too much to ever screw that up
  • and honestly is that goals or what
  • neither of you ever had a relationship with so much love
  • so you treasure it
  • and when he promises to be with you forever
  • he means it
Bucky the Jerk, part 3.1

So I couldn’t resist posting it today. Because I’m trash.

PLS LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OK I’M SUCH A SLUT FOR YOUR REACTIONS

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky is being a dick to you, and you can’t understand why is he the only one from Avengers who doesn’t like you.

Chapter summary and warnings: Just fluff maybe and a bit of angst. Drinking.


At night it became a bit chilly, so Tony made a fire in the living room. The room wasn’t large, but there was just about enough couches and armchairs for everyone. Natasha took up one couch completely to herself, so you and Sam made a nest of cushions and blankets on the floor.

Tony procured ten bottles of champagne from the cellar, saying that there is much more where that came from, so you were all getting drunk.

You proposed to cook something, but he said that The Queen of Mermaids won’t be cooking for her subjects - so he ordered sushi.

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Ong Seongwoo College!AU Scenario

-basically it’s really hard for you to open up to new people
-you usually sit in the front of the class so you can take notes better
-but Seongwoo sits on the back with his friends
-you two meet in the student activity unit
-your friend introduces you two
-“Hello, I’m Seongwoo”
-and you think you have seen him a few times in the class “I’m (y/n), uh.. arent you from art major ?”
-“yes, how did you know ?”
-“I think we go to the same class”
-he’d be a little bit surprised
-and your friends starts making fun of him “woah what a rude person you dont even remember her”
-“i’m sorry I only hang with cool kids” just ong being himself already
-you only laughed because you know he was joking, but later on you start thinking “am I really not cool ?”
-and even after that you never really talks to him in the class
-but he does sometimes would come to your seat and peek at your assignment
-“wow more A+”
-you smiled
-“no wonder you have no social life”
-you’d think how dare this guy but you can’t really deny it either so you dont say anything, but your face does.
-and he laughs at your response

-and then one day he’s just openly flirting with you in front of everyone
-he sits in front of you and ask “do you want to watch a movie together ?”
-you gave him puzzled look “with whom ?”
-“of course with me”
-you’re more puzzled now “uh, and the guys ?”
-“no, only me, it’s a date”
-once again he made you speechless
-but you’re very still doubtful “..wouldn’t it better if we watch it together with the others?”
-you try to be as polite as possible because you’re the type to take things very slowly
-he’d asks you to go on a date a few more times
-but you keep insisting the more the merrier
-he finally gives in, “okay then lets ask our friends to watch it too”
-“…well, i dont actually have that much friends”
-“*cough* i’ll ask the guys”

-you enjoy hanging with them eventho you’re very shy
-and you overheard their convo when you went to the toilet
-“so should we leave you two alone now ?” Jisung mischieviously asks
-“oh no, lets not do that”
-the boys would try to persuade him too
-“lets respect her choice for inviting you guys too”
-they will burst in laugh and start making fun of him
-“look at this lover boy, he’s really head over heels for her”
-and from then you starts growing affection on him too

-when he asks you for a date again you finally agrees
-he would be kinda different without his friends
-takes care of you and keeps you on the safe side
-actually his hand has been very itching to hold your hand
-but he knows you take things very slowly
-he’d take you home because its ‘late’
-when it’s actually only 5pm
-you thank him for the date
-and he wish you’d invite him in
-but you wave and get inside
-“be patient Seongwoo, be patient” he wishpered to himself

-after a few dates, you two are just casually talking
-but he spaces out a lot of times
-“..and the lecturer told me… uh, Seongwoo is something wrong?”
-he has been staring at your lips the whole time
-his face slowly gets closer as he caresses your cheek
-you closed your eyes because you don’t know what to do
-he kissed your cheek
-you’d slowly open your eyes “..Thankyou”
-“did you thank me because I kissed you, or because i didn’t kiss your lips ?”
-“i guess both?”
-“you’re lucky I’m very patient” he sighs

Peters little nerd

pairing: peter parker x reader

request: Can you do a peter parker imagine where you wear glasses and peter teases you and its cute and fluff

A/n i know you wanted cute but this actually turned out angsty. The reader is kind of bitch towards the end. I’m sorry.

Originally posted by vintagejosh

 ‘Here goes nothing’ you thought to yourself before you knocked on Peters door. Over the weekend you had gotten glasses because your eyesight. You mentally kicked yourself for not taking what your mom said seriously because now you had to wear glasses. “It’s about time you showed-” peter stopped mid sentence when he noticed your glasses. “Aww don’t you look precious” Peter squeezed your cheeks together and made the top of your glasses touch your forehead.

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The Wedding Crasher

I was watching Say Yes to The Dress when it hit me. Not too long ago I was having a conversation with my best friend about me and my wedding, in some distant future. He reassured me that no matter what he was going to be there with bells and whistles being a part of whatever I wanted. He thought I’d say he was going to be one of my bridesmaids, but I actually want him to be the one to walk me down the aisle because he means that much to me. Anywho… that is basically what got me to write this imagine! Enjoy :D

Taron finally sees you in your dress the day of your wedding day when he comes to realize his real feelings for you.

Warnings: None
Taron x Reader
Not my gif**

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