how can you not love these jerks

sheriwallace123  asked:

For sinful Sunday: I love to imagine Bucky getting the hang of his new smart phone to send you sexy videos while he's away. I can just picture him sending you a video of him jerking himself off with the metal hand, moaning about how he wished it was your hand and/or pussy riding his cock. You'd message him back super horny and then skype sex. 😍

“Fuck, I love technology” he’d mutter completely spent. 

Sinful Sunday™

  • 707: *calls MC* I had the craziest dream that you married me!
  • MC: I did marry you. It happened 3 years ago. It's like 3 in the morning rn. Stop calling me when we're right beside each other. gO TO FUCKING SLEEP, SAEYOUNG
Teenage Elia Martell Steals a Baby: a Very Short ASOIAF Fic
  • Doran: So, how did you guys like Casterly Rock?
  • Oberyn: *elaborate jerk-off motions*
  • Doran: ...okay, so probably not great. How about you, Elia?
  • Elia: *unwrapping cloak to reveal infant* I stole a baby, his name is Tyrion and I Love him.
  • Doran: ...Elia...you can't...you can't steal babies. Probably not from anyone, and definitely not from the Lannisters.
  • Oberyn: Fuckin' watch her.
  • Elia: YEAH.
  • Doran: Why are you both like this. Does Mom know?
  • Princess of Dorne: *shouting from next room* Yes, I do, and Elia better not come crying to me if the Lannisters start pestering her to marry that baby!
  • Doran: What the hell is going on in the Westerlands?
  • Elia: *cooing at Baby Tyrion* Nothing that a GOOD SMALL BABY should have to deal with.
  • Oberyn: *even more elaborate jerk-off motions*

anonymous asked:

Could you do a Jeff Atkins imagine of being Clay's twin sister and a good player on the girls soccer team and like Monty and Bryce keep harassing you because you're good looking but you can't stand them because they're jerks and Jeff comes to you're rescue when they get aggressive because he considers Clay and you friends and most of all he likes you (and you obviously like him back)??

title: i am lying in wait

word count: 1143

note: it took me writing this fic to realize how much i actually love jeff atkins he’s a cinnamon roll can i just like……. save him……….


Most of the time, attention had never bothered you. In fact, you were used to having all eyes on you. Being one of the best players on the Liberty High girls’ soccer team had proven time and time again that having people notice you all the time just came with the skill. You could, however, discern which attention was unwanted.

High school boys, for the most part, were really fucking stupid. You’d come to this conclusion on your third day of freshman year when Bryce Walker and Justin Foley had come into school smelling of weed and obviously very high. You made a mental note to never get involved with a boy until you were out of high school and into the world of college; you changed your mind when your twin brother, Clay, introduced you to Jeff Atkins, a boy in your grade whom Clay had met in his World History class.

Three years of flirting with one another had led nowhere. It was obvious that you liked Jeff and he liked you back, but it never happened. You were too shy to say anything to him about it and he wasn’t sure if he could bring it up on his own, so there you were, stuck in an endless flirtationship.

Soccer practice was always during the same time basketball practice was, but the basketball players were always done and out before the soccer kids were. You were running defense drills when the boys showed up to sit in the bleachers that lined the field; Bryce and Montgomery were there, as usual, with those shit-eating grins ever ingrained on to their face.

“Looking good, [Name],” Bryce shouted after you.

“Hell yeah, babe! Those shorts are extra short today,” Monty added.

If your face hadn’t already been burning from the effort you were putting into today’s practice, you’d be flushed from embarrassment. Thankfully, your coach came to your rescue the first time, yelling at them to not distract her players. It kept them from making remarks for a while until she left to get some more soccer balls from the gym to practice passing.

As the remarks went on, they grew more and more aggressive. It was obvious these guys were creeps, they always had been, but it made you feel like shit when they objectified you like that. You had to focus extra hard on passing to your partner to block out the comments. Nevertheless, they persisted.

Jeff was just leaving the library, his backpack slung carelessly over his shoulder as he made his way to the soccer field. He always stayed for your practices so he could drive you home and talk with you. Tutoring with Clay was getting done just as the coach was clearing the field, telling the girls to rest up for the game that weekend. He could have sworn he’d be able to hear those sickening catcalls from two of the biggest jerks on campus from three miles away.

As the bleachers came into view, he could see you seated on the very edge of the bottom row, your head down and your eyes focused on switching into a more comfortable pair of shoes instead of your cleats. Bryce and Monty had moved to sit in the two seats above you, and it was clear you were as uncomfortable as could be. With no signs of the two stopping, Jeff approached.

“Come on, [Name], we just think you’re really sexy,” Bryce was throwing down endless nicknames that made you feel worse by the second.

“Hey, Jensen!” Jeff called, smiling brightly in your direction; he could clearly see how relieved you were when he showed up. He grew closer and you stood up, focusing your attention on him instead of the two assholes behind you in the bleachers. The baseball player wrapped a protective arm around your shoulder as he glared up at them. “These guys giving you trouble?”

“Just a little,” you said, shrinking against his side.

“Aw, come on, babe. We were just complimenting you,” Monty supplied, a sickening smirk on his face, one that mirrored the one on Bryce.

You wanted to fold in on yourself, melt into a puddle right there on the sidelines, do anything that would get you away from the two basketball players who made your life a living hell when they were around. What they said was gross, something that really shouldn’t ever be said, yet here they were, clearly making you uncomfortable.

“Listen, de la Cruz. She’s not your babe. I suggest you stop treating her like she’s some piece of meat you can have. She’s clearly uncomfortable with what you’re saying to her and it needs to stop. Learn how to treat a girl and maybe you’ll finally get one,” Jeff retorted quickly, his free hand clenching into a fist.

He didn’t even wait for them to respond; they looked dumbfounded. As they stared, Jeff grabbed your duffel bag, slung it over his other shoulder and coaxed you to his car, a sympathetic look on his face.

“Sorry if what I said back there seemed possessive or something like that,” he apologized as he tossed your bag in the back seat and opened the passenger door for you. “I just know that they’ve been harassing you for a while now and I was getting really mad about it.”

“Thanks. I didn’t have the courage to tell them to stop and even if I did, I don’t think they would have taken no for an answer.”

“It’s no problem.”

The car was silent as Jeff pulled out of the student parking lot. You turned to look at him and rested your hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Seriously. That was really nice of you to do for me.”

He didn’t turn to look at you, but you could see the smile that pulled at the corners of his lips as you spoke your second thanks. When your hand pulled away from his shoulder and you looked back to the road in front of you, his right hand reached overs to grab yours.

“It’s not right that he was calling you babe and all that. Those are reserved for, like, boyfriends.”

You raised an eyebrow and glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. “Really? Are you trying to tell me something, Jeff?”

The blush creeped adorably fast onto his cheeks and you giggled quietly, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Am I?”

“You know, if you wanna call me nicknames like that, I’m okay with it.”

The roses bloomed an even deeper shade of red, adorning his cheeks with an adorable flush that made him look heavenly in the golden sunshine.

“Alright.”

Silence.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You think if we go to Rosie’s right now, we could consider it a first date?”

“Gonna ask me out, Atkins?”

“Maybe.”

“Finally.”

It’s time.
It’s the 1rst of March 2017 and that means that this beautiful boy, the reason of this account right here is 23 now.
I can’t really believe how fast time is flying but it is, faster than I ever imagined.
Wasn’t you just 16 yesterday, having your first world tour, wasn’t it just yesterday when my world came out, when you reached more and more goals that you had, wasn’t it just yesterday that this fanbase was created?
Well it’s pretty crazy to think about the fact that this was all nearly 8 years ago, isn’t it?
It is nearly 8 years ago since we started to watch you growing from this little kid into this beautiful young man and I can’t even say how proud I am of you, but just saying that I’m proud would be an understatement because it has been nearly 8 years since you decided to live this kinda life, to take us with you on your amazing journey, and since then, we’ve been here, we’ve been here with you through thick and thin, we stayed through rumors, lies, changes, mistakes, break ups. We stayed when you had the worst part of your life, when you were in deep depression, not knowing what to do with your life anymore, and now look at you my angel.
You rised like a skyscraper out of the ground, you handled your depression, you started to keep your life together again and most importantly, you found your purpose.
You’ve been through a lot, your journey was everything but easy I can tell.. you know, it was tough,
~ you had to deal with the fact that people called you a “ girl ” because of your voice when you were just 16,
~ when you became 17, you were rumored to be a father,
~ you were getting called gay by the age of 18
~ then, 2013/2014, or how we call it, your bizzle phase, you had to deal with more hate than I ever imagined, parents calling you a bad influence for their kids but the worst is that you had to deal with yourself and we had no clue
~ then you turned 21 and you were having a hufe comeback, you went through a lot of changes
~ and well, now it’s the time where I can say, with 22, people called you a jerk and they tried everything to tear you down, but you’re still here.
^ look at all of this, and people still call Justin weak? I’m sorry but for me this just proofs one more that Justin is one of the strongest people existing out there.
And even though you went through all of this, you still managed to love us, to take care of us, to make us feel like we’re worth it, and it amazes me everyday how you have the strength to do it everyday.
People don’t really get it, they will always question the memories I created, we all created with Justin, the stories we have behind all of this, they will never get it, but Justin, there’s one thing you should know and one thing people will always question,
you’re keeping me alive for a lifetime now.
In my darkest times, you were there.
When everyone turned against me and showed me their back, you offered me a hand.
When I thought that all hope was lost, you reminded me that there will always be hope as long as you’re there.
You brought the smile I’ve lost for years back, in such a short time.
You are the reason I’m fighting through a bad day, why I keep holding on.
You’ve always reminded me that I’m not alone, and that you’ll might not be next to me right now but that you will always be with me.
When I was struggling with anxiety, depression and panic attacks, I just had to listen to be alright and I knew that everything will be okay again.
Even though you don’t know how I look, you make me feel like the most beautiful princess.
Do you see this?
You’re the reason behind my smile,
you made me believe in myself,
you made me accept myself instead of bringing it down,
you gave me hope when I thought there’s nothing left,
you stood by my side when I was alone,
you helped me to get out of the darkest place in my life and yet, people still say that you’re a bad influence, shake my head at every single one of them, I wonder if they would still call you names, talk bad about you in front of us, or even come
up with rumors if they would know that you’re the only reasons why their friends, daughters, classmates are still alive.
^ but that’s a different story.
This day is supposed to be about you and only you.
I’m so endlessly proud of you, you’ve got a grammy, a diamond award, our fanbase keeps growing, you’re finally the person who you want to be, you started to figure life out and maybe you didn’t figured out completely, but you figured it out enough to be happy with yourself, and that’s all that matters, your happiness.
There’s so much more I wanna say, so much more things I’m proud of, so much more reasons why I love you, so much more reasons why I will always be with you, but I don’t even have any ideas how to put it into words, because you really do mean everything to me.
But since it’s 12AM,
Happy birthday my angel,
just remember that we love you, that we’ve always loved and that we will always love you because you might not know, but you’re the reason why so many of us are still here.
Happy 23rd birthday my beautiful little cupcake vanilla muffin puppy baby prince, I love you way more than to the moon and back. ❤️🎉

Being Jason's Girlfriend and like a Sister to Damian Headcanons

Prompt: Headcannon of Damian being really close (like in a sister way) to Jason’s girlfriend and them fighting for her attention

>>>>——————->

Dating Jason and Damian looking to you as a big sister would include:

> Jason was a great boyfriend, and with him came his family of vigilantes - Damian taking a liking to you in particular. You were basically his big sister and he treated you as such.

> Damian stopping by your apartment at random times and even during patrol.
“Hey (y/n)!”
“Morning, there’s hot chocolate on the side if you want it.”
“It’s 2am. I’m fine thank you.”
“Oh really? It’s got marshmallows and cream. Plus I made it and not Jay.”
“I suppose it’d be a shame to waste it.”

> Having the Batmobile parked outside of your home and Damian arguing that no one will mind. Jason threatening to jack the wheels if he does it again.

> The boys fighting over who gets your attention, Damian usually winning but you’d make it up to Jason on the rare occasions you get to spend alone. Supporting Jason 100% and he knows that despite insecurities and Damian being argumentative.

> Whenever Jason leans in to kiss you Damian manages to interfere somehow if he’s in the area.
“Ahem.”
Your boyfriend sighs before speaking, as this happens far too often for his liking.
“Are you kidding me?”
Jason knows better than to kiss you in front of anyone that age so he picks you up and takes you to another room much to Damian’s displeasure.

> Damian mostly using the window since Jason often refuses to let him in.

> Damian always taking your side in arguments with Jason, numerous threats have been made which have lead to you covering Damian’s mouth.
“Those words should not come from someone as young as you Dami!”
“And you thought I was bad (y/n).”
“You can shut it as well Red.”

> Damian acting like an overprotective big brother and actually being kinda scary, though Jason usually finds the whole ordeal amusing.

> “Jason get away from my sister!”
“I introduced you to (y/n), and they’re my girlfriend demon spawn!”

> If anyone hits on you with Damian around he’s willing to fight them.
“I apologise but this young woman is dating my… brother so back off before I -!”
“Dami?!”
“Todd may be an insufferable human being but I know he loves you and will protect you at all costs. He’s worth more than this jerk.”
“Dami!”

> They can agree on a few things despite their consistent bickering.
“Todd, where is (l/n)?”
“Y'know I’m not actually sure…”
“Oh, (y/n) is in the infirmary -” Barbara claimed strolling into the room.
“Woah is she alright?!”
“What the hell happened?! How could you let her get hurt?”
“Is it serious? Can we help?” Came all at once before the red head could even finish her explanation.
“Jason, Damian - (y/n) bumped into some furniture so it’s nothing serious.”
“Are you sure Babs?”
“…”
“I’d say Gordon knows what she’s doing Todd.”

Steve Rogers (NSFW Alphabet)

Number three for my 500 follower thing! Steve Rogers for @sistasarah-sallysaidso 

tags: @yourtropegirl @itsanerdlife @lipstickandwhiskey @captainumeboshi @feelmyroarrrr @emily-james-barnes (maybe. do you like steeb? i forget)

A/N: i’ll add links later, if i have time. 

Keep reading

Klance Recs #1

Homesick at Space Camp by K0bot (PG, 54k, WIP)
Summary: Lance’s insistence on maintaining his rivalry with Keith is hurting his performance, and Shiro’s had enough. Keith and Lance are forced to talk it out, and Lance becomes certain of one thing:

He’s gonna be the best friend Keith’s ever had in his LIFE.

Naturally, he’s in for much more than he bargained for. [Fake Marriage, WIP]

time out of mind by aknightley (PG, 27k)
Summary: Keith and Lance wake up married. In the future.

He lays there a moment, processing the faint throbbing in his head, a strange bitter taste like lemons in his mouth. When he opens his eyes, the room spins wildly into a kaleidoscope of colors, so he closes them again, breathing in and out until he feels less like he might throw up. He suddenly registers a warm weight over his waist, and lifts his head to see a brown arm thrown over him. It looks startlingly familiar, but different, bigger than he remembers, more toned.

Keith turns all the way around and comes face to face with Lance sleepily blinking his own eyes open.
[Time Travel, Fake Marriage]

Heatwaves on Autopilot by WhatTheBodyGraspsNot (NC-17, 56k)
Summary: Keith and Lance unknowingly inhale an alien aphrodisiac during a simple resource retrieval mission. But unlike the common aphrodisiac, this particular one reactivates under certain unknown conditions, later leaving them craving in situations that don’t necessarily present them with many options. Keith tries to work through it, concerned with the sudden lack of control of his body, until he realizes the same thing is happening to Lance. So…great. How are they supposed to deal with this, keep it a secret, AND tend to the thousands of other responsibilities that come with defending the universe? (Together, of course.) [Heat Cycles/Sex Pollen]

Today, anew by MemeKonVLD (MemeKonYA) (R, 5.9k)
Summary: “Lance.

Lance’s eyebrows furrow in concern for a second before his whole face goes gentle and open.

“Hey buddy, everything okay?”

Keith nods. Then shakes his head, then opens his mouth to let out a noisy sob before he’s hugging the air out of Lance, grip vise tight.

Lance hugs him back. That’s one of the great things about him— he doesn’t— he doesn’t need explanations for things like this. He doesn’t make Keith jump through hoops, the way other people might— he’s just— he just knows what Keith needs in times like this. No façades, no posturing.

(Or: the one where Keith is trapped in a time loop. A time loop from hell.) [Time Loop, Temporary Character Death]

A Commutual Contract 
by SKayLanphear (R, 24k, WIP)
Summary:
 After a terrifying experience during which Lance, seemingly, dies, Keith is haunted by horrible nightmares of holding his comrade in his arms while he took his final breath. To the point where he can’t sleep unless he knows for absolute certain that Lance is alive.

And while the attention is surprising, Lance doesn’t really have a problem with Keith checking up on him. Or the fact that Keith only seems totally comforted when he can cuddle Lance close and hear his heart beat. After all, there’s nothing wrong with two bros cuddling. It doesn’t MEAN anything. Or, at least, that’s what Lance keeps telling himself. [Bed Sharing, WIP]

How To Train Your Galra by magisterpavus (NC-17, 68k, Series)
Summary: 
“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.

Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”

“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.” [Galra!Keith, A/B/O Dynamics]

Fake It Til You Make It by nikkiRA (R, 26k)
Summary: “No, it’s not that –” Keith tries to backtrack. “We just – we –” he isn’t sure what he’s going to say, he just knows he has to say something before he and Lance are forced to have sex with some weird alien species, while also keeping the weird alien king happy enough to create an alliance with them.

But not for the first time and not for the last, Lance pulls through.

Of course, this time pulling through almost gives Keith a heart attack, because Lance slips his fingers through Keith’s so that they’re holding hands.

“What Keith here means to say,” Lance says, and although his voice is steady, he is gripping Keith’s fingers so tightly it’s painful. “Is that we can’t mate with your people, although we, um, appreciate the offer, because, well. We already are. M-mated, I mean. With, you know. Each other.” [Fake Marriage]

Nightmares by Trashness (PG, 14k)
Summary: Lance’s nightmares are getting out of control. It’s effecting his and the team’s performance, but he’s at a loss for how to fix this.

Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps. [Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining]

Accidental Bonding by Newbiemans2015 (NR, 2.9k)
Summary: Whilst trapped on an alien planet Keith and Lance accidentally get married, and now how to deal with the consequences. [Accidental Marriage]

All things infinite by MemeKonVLD (MemeKonYA) (R, 7k)
Summary: “I didn’t know Lance was…”

“Bi?” Hunk supplied.

“Ready to jump anyone sentient and willing?” Pidge offered.

“Yeah, let’s go with bi,” Hunk says.

(Or: the one where Lance is a Bisexual Intergalactic Flirt, and Keith discovers he has feelings about this.) [Pining!Keith]

like honey by manamune (NC-17, 4.3k)
Summary: Keith wants to lose control.

Lance has always liked helping people. [BDSM]

Fireside by molsat (NC-17, 4.9k)
Summary: It’s not the compliments that make Lance’s palms sweaty, his heart thunder wildly against his ribcage, and his face swell with impossible heat: it’s the way Keith has to be such a giant dick about it. [Praise Kink]

Making the Most of the Night by saezutte (NC-17, 15k)
Summary:  Having sex with Keith in order to secure an alliance with an alien species wasn’t how Lance expected to lose his virginity, but it wasn’t the worst way for it to go.

(Until afterwards, of course, when it all goes wrong and Keith won’t speak to him. Not that Lance has any idea why. Or why it bothers him so much.)

hot singles in your area by rire (NC-17, 15k, WIP)
Summary: “So she gave you a fake number?”
“Yeah.”
“And it turned out to be the number of a sex line?”
“Yep.”
“And then you decided jerking off was the best solution for your heartbreak?”
“I guess you could put it that way.”
“… And now you’re in love with a phone sex operator.” [College AU, WIP]

Rivals-With-Benefits by lissa_molloy (NC-17, 26k, WIP)
Summary: Lance and Keith have been sneaking around for a while now, not yet to the point where they can get over their rivalry but well beyond acknowledging how attracted they are to one another. A collection of vaguely-related oneshots in a fuckbuddies AU for Klance. I’ll add tags as I go. [Friends/Rivals with Benefits]

Blueprints by UnderTheSilentStars (R, 39k, WIP)
Summary: “While soulmarks themselves were common, it was rare for someone to have anything other than the name of their other half…and Lance had a red paw print." [Soulmate AU]

so why don’t we fall by aknightley (NC-17, 4k)
Summary: Five times Lance used a pet name for Keith, and one time Keith used one for Lance.

Keith has no basis for having a relationship with someone, so he’s trying to follow Lance’s lead. 

Down the Rabbit Hole by TheQueen (PG, 41k, WIP)
Summary: It starts when he wakes up. Breathing hard and scrambling against the soft bedding and heavy comforter until he falls flat against the wood floor hard enough to take his breath away.

Time travel might not be the worst thing Lance has ever dealt with. But it sure does feel like it. [Time Travel, Canon Divergence, WIP]

30 Rules to Marriage by delictor (R, 38k, WIP)
Summary: Lance was only trying to argue with Keith, not marry him. And even if the marriage only really counted on the one planet, he couldn’t help but let it take over his every thought slowly. Especially with him constantly thinking of the 30 rules of marriage his parents had taught him as a kid and trying to apply them to him and Keith. His logic? The 30 rules could apply to even just a friendship…

Or: Lance and Keith accidentally get married and it’s not actually as bad as they thought it would be. [Accidental Marriage, WIP]

Diplomatic Difficulties by TemenCMoth (PG, 10k, WIP)
Summary: Allura sat with her head in her hands. Coran balked. Hunk was frozen, new goo concoction slowly leveling out on the floor. Shiro looked stricken, hand in a white-knuckle grip on the back of a chair. The only sound in the room was the little clack-clack of Pidge’s keyboard.

The room was filled with tension thick enough to be cut with a bayard, a silence so loud none of them noticed Rover hovering behind Keith.

They sure noticed when he started playing the Wedding March. [Accidental Marriage]

heat of your skin by sodappend (NC-17, 2k)
Summary: Keith is in heat and Lance is the last person he wants to see. So of course it’s Lance that walks through his door. [A/B/O Dynamics]

Skin by MemeKonVLD (MemeKonYA) (R, 3.2k)
Summary: He’s aware of Lance talking to him, but he’s still too asleep to try to decipher whatever it is he’s blabbering about. He only starts paying attention when one of Lance’s hands goes to the drawstring of his pajama pants.

“Whoa, what are you doing?” He asks, slapping Lance’s hand away, cheeks warm.

“You,” Lance starts, pointing at him (and Keith notices that for all he’s made fun of him for the last forever for them, he’s wearing his fingerless gloves), “are not screwing up my skin care routine, man.”

(AKA: the one where Keith and Lance switch bodies.) [Body Swap]

I’ll be your… whatever it’s called by MoonStar1220 (NC-17, 3.7k)
Summary: After a particularly rough and frightening fight with enemy Galra Lance decides he’s had enough of Keith’s behavior and vows to fix it. [Galra!Keith, A/B/O Dynamics]

Alpha-nd a way to you by opalfire (NC-17, 3k)
Summary: Lance honestly had no clue what was going on anymore.

He had scented Keith, as though he were his mate. Lance flushed. The other alpha must think he was insane by now.

“I-I’m sorry - fuck - I mean,” Lance stuttered.

Keith just stared at him, the flush on his face getting redder.

“I know we’re both alphas, shit I’m so-“Lance started.

“We’re both what now?” Keith’s eyes widened before narrowing as he stared at Lance. “Oh my god, you don’t know.”

otherwise known as Lance gets possessive and scents Keith without knowing he’s an omega till he hits heat [Omegaverse, A/B/O Dynamics]

Alive With the Glory of Love by lemoninagin (NC-17, 4.8k)
Summary: “Hurry,” Lance urges with a gasp, clutching harder at the stands with both hands poised on them for support now, palms slick with sweat, “They’re going to find us like this if we don’t hurry, oh my God.”

A deep chuckle tickles over his ear, almost rivaling the pounding of blood in them.

Let them.” [Public Sex]

2

sorry to the anon who posted this, my internet is crap and I can’t answer directly

Dipper: I guess I like how tall he is.

Bill: We’re barely two inches apart. And the question was about my face. You just don’t want to admit that you like my eyes. What was that I read in your diary again? “Iridescent irises, like sunshine trapped in honey amber - ”

Dipper: Aaaaaaaaaaaand that’s quite enough from you. As for his personality, when he isn’t being a narcissistic jerk, or reading through my journal -

Bill: Diary.

Dipper: - private journal, I guess he can be nice at times? And he always know how to cheer me up whenever I’m stressed so that’s a plus.

Bill: I am so nice.

I just love how Tord has this robot arm which almost definetly wouldn’t work to standards

It has to be attached to specific parts of his shoulder and bones n nerves to work and move properly

and you can bet your ass it glitches or freezes or doesnt work right for hours on end anf hes sitting there tryna fix it with his shaky left hand and with his hurt eye, little depth perception

Maybe hes painting or reading and in the middle of a brush stroke his arm jerks across the FU CK ING PAPER AND BOY HE S DED
or reading his book aND HE TEARS IT IN HALF WITHOUT MEANING TO AND DAMN HE JUST GO TO THE FUCKING PLOT TWIST BOY IS HE PISS E D

Comic N-040 “Comfy doesn’t have a T and I’m distressed”

This comic is dedicated to my dog who has started faking wanting to go out so she can steal my spot. Boo, I love you but you’re a jerk.

Things that only SPN fandom can understand:
  • “Oh my Chuck!”
  • “Carry on my wayward soOOOOOon” means “somebody’s gonna die”
  • “Adam? Who the fuck is Ad- Ooooh, right!”
  • “It’s just a car!”: fandom screaming
  • “Why does everyone have to die!?”
  • Lucifer and Death are good guys
  • Metatron is not.
  • Don’t get stuck on tuesday
  • “How can Sam get wifi everywhere?”
  • “It’s funnier in enochian”
  • Dean is the pizzaman
  • There are a lot of ways to say “I love you”
  • Twist and Shout
  • “How can this cast be so fucking attractive!?”
  • God is bisexual
  • Thinking “I kinda miss the apocalypse”
  • “I can dig Elvis”: fandom heartbreak
  • “Bitch”, “Jerk”, “Idiot”, “Assbutt”.
  • Your social life ended with “Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”
  • “I usually suffer from insomnia” actually means “I usually spend the night reading Destiel fanfictions”
  • “Why do I still watch this show?”

anonymous asked:

22. Muffled, from the other side of the door - Stony please and not too angsty hehe. THANKS!

Okay, this is super late nonnie, but thank you so much for the prompt <3 This is my first time writing for Steve/Tony, hope you like it and it’s not too angsty for you!

This is also for @captainstarkreportingforduty​ as a late birthday present, thank you for being awesome and for being the most amazing friend :DD

____________________________________________________________________

“You’re gonna have to talk to him sooner or later, you know?”

Steve acknowledged Natasha’s entrance with a nod before looking down at his sketchbook. He always liked to draw whenever he was upset and today was no exception, except this time the subject of this particular sketch was also the reason for his bad mood, and that didn’t help at all.

“He’s just gonna take what I say the wrong way and we’ll end up fighting again.” Nat approached the couch, nudging Steve aside to make space for herself.

“Well, considering you accused him of a reckless adrenaline junkie, I’m not sure how else you wanted him to take that. Rhodey says he’s been in the workshop for two days.”

Steve sighed and buried his face in his hands, fighting back the urge to march down to Tony’s workshop and check on him. Two days wasn’t even close to the longest amount of time he’d spent absorbed in a project, but he usually had Steve or Rhodey to remind him that food was something he needed every few hours or so to function properly, and he always asked JARVIS to lock them out whenever he was in a mood.

“I know! I just- you know I didn’t mean it like that, Nat.” she smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Of course you didn’t Steve, but Tony can’t see that. When you yell at him for being stupid and reckless enough to take a shot for you, it’s because of you love him, and you can’t stand to see him hurt, especially for you.”

Steve blushed, opening his mouth to issue an immediate denial, when Nat laughed, shooting a knowing look in his direction. “Don’t even bother Rogers, every single person on this team knows you think the sun sets and rises on Tony’s shoulders. In fact, I’m pretty sure you spend most of your time doodling “Steve loves Tony” in your sketchbook when you’re not drawing him in the workshop for the millionth time.” She paused. “Well, I’m not sure Tony knows. Although how that’s possible I have absolutely no clue, considering you moon after him even more than he does for you, and the boy’s got it bad.”

“He doesn’t-I-” Steve shook his head, placing his sketchbook down on the table. “I fucked up Nat. He’s cares so much about everyone on this team and he tries so hard to help people because he still can’t see how much of a godamn hero he is, and then I go off and accuse him of risking people’s lives for his own enjoyment. I just - I can’t stand it whenever he throws himself in harm’s way for me, not when the serum can take it.” He swallowed. “Not when he’s the person I love the most in the entire world.”

“Wow. You finally said it. Steve Rogers everyone, finally back from his swim in the Nile.” He laughed, leaning backwards against the couch. “I knew, I just didn’t want to say it, because that would make it real. And if it’s real that means I have to tell him. I need him, Nat. I love him, but more than that I need him. I couldn’t live with wrecking our friendship over this.”

Natasha met his eyes with a considering look. “And how is this any better? Blowing up at him because you’re too afraid to tell him how you feel, pushing him away when you feel too much at the thought that he might get hurt? We’re Avengers, Steve, we stare death in the face on a pretty regular basis, and if you really love Tony, that’s something you’re going to have to accept. He wouldn’t be the man you love if he didn’t risk his life every day to save others, to save you. Don’t make your love a weakness, make a strength. Tell him.”

Steve let out a breath. “Well what the hell am I supposed to say, Nat?” “Tony, I’m so sorry I yelled at you for being reckless, the truth is the thought of you getting hurt in my place tears me up inside because I’m stupidly head over heels in love with you and have been for months?” He heard a loud clatter and looked up, only to find Tony staring at him, mouth open in astonishment, his porcelain coffee mug shattered in pieces across the floor.

“Steve-” Tony started to speak, but Steve was up in an instant, fleeing from the room in a dead run, his breath coming in short panicked breaths as his world compressed down to an overwhelming feeling of sick dread. Tony knew. It was all out in the open now – no more pretending that the sight of Tony half-asleep and incoherent in the mornings didn’t send his heart aflutter, no more biting down a flood of jealousy at the sight of Tony charming investors at a charity gala… Tony knew and it was all over now.

He turned the corner, finally reaching his room before slamming the door shut behind him. He sank to the floor, face in his hands. He always knew Tony never feel the same way about him, but the look of utter shock on his face when he heard Steve’s words was almost too much to bear, as if Tony had never even considered Steve as a romantic possibility.

Suddenly behind him he heard a frantic knock on the door. “Steve? Steve- it’s me.” It was Tony, his voice desperate. At the sound of his voice, Steve looked up. Oh god, just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, now here was Tony was chasing after him, either to offer him comfort before having the “I just want to be friends talk”, or worse, to break off their friendship entirely. Steve cleared his throat, hoping against hope that his voice would remain steady. “Tony, I’m fine, I just – I just need to be alone for while. It’s fine.” It was absolutely, extremely not fine, but it’s not like Steve could open his eyes and suddenly wake up in an alternate universe where instead of being horrified at Steve’s confession, Tony returned his feelings so he didn’t really have any other options.

“No wait Steve you don’t understand! I-“ Steve sighed loudly. Why couldn’t Tony just make things easier for him? Confessing his feelings and being accidentally overhead was bad enough, now he had to put on a brave face about it. He stood up, his hand on the doorknob, when he heard Tony’s voice from the other side of the door “Steve, I’m- I’m in love with you too. I’m sorry I reacted badly, I just didn’t expect it, and I was thought you were still-“

His words were cut off by a loud bang as Steve threw the door open, and there was Tony standing in front of him, tired and like he did after he had spent days on a project in the workshop, but his eyes were bright, there was a small nervous smile on his face. He was the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen.

“You love me?” his voice came out wobbly and disbelieving, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when Tony grinned and nodded, moving closer into his space. “Yeah, I do.” He looked down before hesitantly tangling their fingers together, sending a curl of warmth through Steve’s stomach. And what you said about the thought of me being hurt because of you tearing you up inside? That’s how I feel whenever you get hurt, so I’m not gonna apologize for taking a hit for you when I can.”

Steve smiled, putting his arms around Tony and pulling him impossibly close. “And why is that?”

Tony laughed, beaming up at him. “Because I love you, jerk.”

anonymous asked:

Jumin X Zen fluff?

This wasn’t super specific so I’ll just write out some relationship HCs for them~


[JUMINxZEN]

  • Even when they’ve been together for a long time, Zen still can’t get used to staying at Jumin’s penthouse. He gets super uncomfortable having chefs cook for him and maids cleaning the place in the morning. He will start to pick up after himself only to have Jumin grabbing his wrist and telling him to leave it. 
    • “It’s their job, Zen. And also rather rude of you…it’s like you’re saying that their trip over here was for nothing and their job is pointless.”
    • “I guess I never thought of it like that before…” 
    • “When you stay here, you can relax. Why not focus on me instead of the dirty laundry?” 
  • Likewise, Jumin feels weird staying at Zen’s place. He went to make breakfast one morning and found Zen had only one pan, and a fridge full of nothing but beer and some old fish bread. 
    • “How can you live like this?”
    • “What are you talking about, jerk? I’m the normal one in this relationship. That’s what a normal guys kitchen looks like.”
  • Jumin gets a little flustered when they’re out shopping and Zen will randomly grab his hand. Though secretly, he loves that Zen takes the initiative to catch him by surprise. 
  • Zen brought Jumin to his friends Kabob place and Jumin became obsessed. Now they go there together every week and he’s even had it catered for a few business meetings. 
  • Jumin found that Zen is much more emotional and can easily become depressed or stressed from work. It took him a while to get used to Zen’s mood swings and how to handle them. He’s always extra tender when Zen is mopey. He knows Zen would never allow him to interfere or help with his career, but he has gone behind Zens back and given some directors a talking to…to set things straight.
  • When Jumin comes over, Zen makes him drink beer. 
    • “This shit is revolting, Zen. If you’re going to make me drink beer at least buy a better brand.”
    • “My place, my rules. Isn’t that what we always say? And either way, you’re just being dramatic. It’s not that bad!” 
    • “You only say that because it’s all you know. But I assure you, it is that bad.” 
    • “Whatever. Drink up, asshole.”
  • Zen is nosey and always looking over Jumin’s shoulder when he is in the middle of paperwork. Jumin thinks it’s cute that Zen tries so hard to be involved and understand his work. 
  • One time when Zen was sleeping over at Jumin’s he snuck Elizabeth 3rd in the bed next to Zen while he was dead asleep. He wanted to see if Zen was truly allergic (since, when he stays over, Elizabeth 3rd gets quarantined to another section of the penthouse) but Zen started sniffling and sneezed in his sleep so Jumin sighed and whisked her back away. 
  • Jumin is on a mission to find a way to cure Zen’s allergy and he spends a ton of money on research.
  • Jumin and Zen have done a photoshoot together for a magazine
  • They love to take each other shopping. 
  • Jumin forces Zen to wear more formal attire, he loves the way Zen looks in a suit. 
  • And Zen wants Jumin to dress more casual every now and then. His favorite is when Jumin wears shorts and a V-neck or a graphic tee. 
  • One of the very first shopping outings they went on, Jumin was getting annoyed that Zen seemed so adamant that he dress down. So as a joke he bought and changed into a shirt that read “i’m with stupid” and an arrow pointing to Zen. 
  • That, in turn, pissed Zen off. He was miffed up until they got home. 
    • “Why do you always try to make a joke out of what I’m interested in? I don’t mind you wearing suits but it also makes me feel like a business partner instead of a boyfriend when you wear it while we’re out together. All I wanted was a more casual atmosphere and instead you were an ass.”
  • Jumin immediately felt terrible. He realized he let his own insecurities get the better of him. He thought Zen was only saying it to poke fun at his fashion choices again. He ran a hand down Zen’s shoulder. 
    • “Come here, stupid…” Jumin kissed him on the forehead.
  • Jumin still wears the shirt to bed sometimes, the arrow pointing to Zen’s side. 

anonymous asked:

Can you do MC defending Jumin bc Zen's constant insults/complaining gets on her nerves? ee I'm not used to asking for stuff I hope you're not too busy and I'm not being rude

Author’s note: LOL I hope you guys are as amused with this as I am ;)

Jumin

  • When Yoosung and Jaehee called dibs on riding with Seven, you KNEW getting stuck with Jumin and Zen was going to be a pain in the ass
  • Who’s brilliant idea was it to have a team building weekend anyways??
  • “Can someone pull up the directions? Seven’s driving too fast for me to keep up.”
  • Jumin sighed and began looking through the glove box of your car
  • “Where’s your map?”
  • “My what?”
  • Your map! You can’t expect-”
  • “Here,” Zen shoved his phone in Jumin’s face
  • The screen lit up as the monotone GPS voiced the directions
  • “Take exit 477 in 3 miles.”
  • “Wow…” Jumin marveled at the phone
  • Zen scoffed, “I can’t believe you asked MC for a map,” he looked over at you, “..Why are you dating this jerk again?”
  • You looked at him through the rear view mirror
  • “Watch it, pretty boy.”
  • He held up his hands in retreat and leaned back in his seat
  • “Take exit 477 in 2 miles.”
  • Jumin handed Zen back his phone without saying a word
  • “What, no thank you?”
  • “What have you done for me to be thankful for?”
  • Zen rolled his eyes, “Seriously?”
  • Jumin shrugged and turned back to the front
  • “It’s like I’m talking to a robot,” Zen mumbled under his breath
  • He really sucks at whispering…
  • “Lighten up, Zen! We’re supposed to be bonding, remember?”
  • “I thought that didn’t start until we reached,” he cleared his throat and raised his voice, “the cabin of wonder!!!” 
  • “Was that a Seven impersonation?”
  • “Of course! Genius Agent Seven Zero Seven is ALWAYS perfect! Never fails! Only VICTORIES!”
  • Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to hold back laughter
  • “Take exit 477 in 1 mile.”
  • “That was so amazing, I’m actually crying,” you choked out between breaths
  • Jumin gave a tiny smile as he watched you and Zen, and decide he wanted in on the fun
  • “I hack computers for a living and suffer from crippling depression!”
  • The laughter stopped
  • You glanced over at your boyfriend
  • “Uh..G-Good job on the impression, honey… very… accurate!”
  • Zen kicked the back of Jumin’s chair and began howling with laughter
  • “That was THE WORST impression of ANYONE that I’ve EVER SEEN!!!”
  • Jumin’s smile faded, but Zen continued
  • “I mean, COME ON?? You have the humor of a rock!! No, wait… that’s insulting to rocks.”
  • “Shut up.”
  • “Really? It that all you got? Maybe you should just hire someone to make up comebacks for you.”
  • Within the next second, the two burst out in an argument, their loud voices filling up the car
  • “Take exit 477 now.”
  • “I can do my own dirty work, you WHITE-HAIRED FREAK!”
  • “I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, YOU SPOILED JERK.”
  • “WELL-”
  • SCREEEECH
  • Jumin was interrupted by the slamming of brakes
  • “M-MC?”
  • You had pulled over as SOON as you had taken the exit, and parked the car at what looked to be an abandoned gas station
  • “Are you two done?”
  • Zen gulped, “W-Well-”
  • “ARE YOU TWO DONE?”
  • “Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison
  • You sighed before looking back at Zen
  • “Listen, I know how much you love pushing his buttons, but Jumin is NOT a robot. He has feelings, okay?”
  • Zen nodded, too afraid of you to say anything else
  • “I don’t want you insulting him anymore,” you looked over at you smirking boyfriend, “or at least not while I’m around.”
  • Leaning over to the passenger side, you got closer to Jumin
  • “And YOU,” you sighed, “try not to make any more jokes unless Jaehee or I pre-approve them.”
  • The smirk dropped off his face
  • “…Fine.”
  • You smiled and put the car back into drive
  • “I still don’t understand how you could think that’s not a robot,” Zen gestured to Jumin
  • “Because,” you smirked, “no robot could be THAT good in bed.”
  • and that was the last thing Zen said for the entire trip
Surprise

Prompt: You find out that you’re pregnant with George Washington’s baby.

Pair: George Washington x Reader

A/N: This was a request from an anon. Ask and you shall receive. I actually really enjoyed writing this prompt. I hope you guys love it as much as I did! Remember my requests are always open. Enjoy :)

Surprise - Part 2

Originally posted by alexanderlafayette

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You roll over in bed and you arm smacks down on a hard chest beside you, pulling a loud groan from him. Without opening your eyes, you smile to yourself and roll over all the way on your side and snuggle up into the man beside you. His arms wrap around you immediately and pull you in closer. You wiggle and wiggle trying to snuggle even closer and find a comfortable spot.

Keep reading

8

Jon in Fury deleted scenes (1/11)

Concept:

Ciel stops being a jerk and realizes that his fake deepness leads him to nowhere. He realizes everybody already knows that he loves his friends, so he should stop lying to himself. He spends the last years of his life searching the culprits, but also enjoying his friends. His relationship with Sebastian grows, and Sebastian gets less annoying. Everyone dies because he fucks it up and then Sebastian eats his soul. His friends can live happily ever after in heaven with the good memories of their time with Ciel; while he is fucking dead, resting in Sebastian’s stomach.