Ash | Who wins: Ash
Ash is RIPPED and you are getting your ass DESTROYED
Misty | Who wins: Misty
She is fueled by years of pent-up rage and also has a hammer.
Brock | Who wins: You, probably
He’s a lover, not a fighter. You can probably beat him but he might get the better of you if he uses his….drying pan
Gary | Who wins: Doesn’t matter
Who cares who wins? You will get a chance to punch Gary in the face and you should take it.
May | Who wins: May
Tbh you wouldn’t be able to hit her because she is too wonderful so you would just sit there in awe of how amazing May is while May walks all over you
Max | Who wins: You?
On one hand he’s like seven but on the other hand he has several much stronger friends who could kick your ass
Drew | Who wins: Drew
He either wins, or loses and gets a bunch of attention from girls, so either way he wins.
Solidad | Who wins: Solidad
You might not even get to fight her because she would look at you and it would break all the bones in your body. She is too powerful
Dawn | Who wins: Nobody
Don’t fight Dawn wtf
Zoey | Who wins: Zoey
One-hit KO probably. She will beat you up if you try to fight Dawn.
Paul | Who wins: You
Paul has gotten humiliated several times before on-screen and this fight is no different. He spends too much time trying to look cool. However, even if you win the actual fight, you lose because you had to spend time with Paul.
Kenny | Who wins: You
Kenny has got weak skinny arms and bad hand-eye coordination and if you don’t do anything then he might knock himself out on accident.
Barry | Who wins: Barry
You are stronger than him, but his movements are so sporadic and unpredictable that you probably couldn’t land any punches. Of course, he does more talking than actual fighting. By the time the fight is over you owe him money.
Conway | Who wins: Everybody except Conway
Self-explanatory, nobody likes Conway
Cilan | Who wins: ???
Why would you want to fight Cilan, what did he ever do to you
Iris | Who wins: Iris
She’s a dragon master and also dresses better than you. So regardless, she is the winner in the end.
Trip | Who wins: You
Trip’s a nerd
Serena | Who wins: Ash
See the top of this post
Clemont | Who wins: You
Clemont is a loser who cannot run long distances. His lack of stamina will be his downfall and his fancy robots will not be able to save him when you are sending him on a one-way trip to Painville.
Bonnie | Who wins: Bonnie
Her small size leads you into a false sense of security. She is quick and unpredictable and you have never seen her flex. She can take you out quickly and easily. There is a reason why Bonnie doesn’t wear sleeves - she rips the sleeves straight off of every shirt she owns. She has twice the muscle mass of Ash and conceals the most legendary set of abs underneath her shirt. Do not fuck with Bonnie.