how can you be this attractive

When I was just beginning to use tumblr regularly I remember once I actually responded in earnest to one of those posts that was like “I don’t under monosexuals- how are they only attracted to one gender, what about if you’re attracted to a stranger and then find out they don’t identify as a woman?”

And like I went into all this detail about how orientation is based in gender perception and attraction can end abruptly once you perceive someone correctly- like how if you thought someone was attractive and then discovered they were related to you somehow, you’d stop being attracted as soon as you realized because your attraction was based in a false perception, & it’s not that complicated, everyone has groups of people they’re not attracted to, it’s not like bi and pan folks are attracted to everyone so just picture folks you know you’re not attracted to and you’ll get it, yadda yadda

Like genuinely I wrote this whole thing explaining being attracted to only one gender and how attraction functioned etc. I went into it in completely good faith.

And like nowadays I just have ‘monosexual’ blacklisted cause 99/100 times someone uses it they are really saying “lesbians are so regressive and closed minded, it doesn’t make sense at all as an identity, it’s outdated and has no place anymore” or “lesbians are inherently transphobic (because apparently believing trans women can’t be lesbians and believing only bi/pan people could be into trans folks *isnt* super transphobic??)”

I was so innocent and optimistic. It kind of makes me sad that so few questions on here *are* asked in good faith instead of asked as a rhetorical device to promote lateral aggression between folks. It’s a genuinely hostile space a lot of the time.

I love all my mutuals for all the good and thoughtful and positive discussions and learning experiences I’ve had, but damn I can see why Tumblr just is not a fun place for a lot of folks. It’s a crash course in being on guard for malicious subtext 24/7.

part of the reason I think lesbians have so much self doubt is because society’s standard for being a Real Lesbian is so ridiculously high. Like, society in general doesn’t believe lesbians exist, but there’s always the “you aren’t a real lesbian if _” and while in reality the only two statements that could go in the blank to make it true are “you are into men” or “you are a man”
like you aren’t a “real” lesbian if you’ve been with men in the past, you aren’t super butch, you aren’t “ugly,” you have friends who are men, you like traditionally feminine things, you didn’t “always know,” you arent cis, you can recognize when men are attractive, you arent white, you haven’t kissed/had sex with a girl, you’ve never “tried dudes,” and all kinds of other random bullshit that usually has nothing to do with how orientations work and even contradict each other.
all kinds of lesbians exist and like yes there are lesbians who don’t have male friends but there are lesbians who do and as a whole lesbians are a diverse group of people who are not a monolith
and I think it scares off questioning lesbians because of the impossible to meet standards of what it takes to be a “real lesbian” and god forbid someone who isn’t a lesbian use that label while they think it might fit them!!!! Nobody is allowed to try out labels to see if they fit EVER (/sarcasm)
you don’t have to be cis to be a lesbian. you don’t have to have never been with men to be a lesbian, and you don’t have to give men a try to “prove” you’re a lesbian. you don’t have to be butch or femme to be a lesbian. you don’t have to never speak to or interact with men to be a lesbian. you can like feminine things and be a lesbian. you don’t have to be white to be a lesbian. you don’t have to think all men are ugly to be a lesbian. you dont have to be 100% sure to try out the label of lesbian. you just have to exclusively love women and identify with womanhood in some way. that’s it. none of that other bullshit.

anonymous asked:

I know I sound like a terrible person for saying this, but is there any way that I can make myself aromantic? I used to identify as a panromantic asexual, but due to recent events I don't even want to feel any attraction other than platonic attraction. Love hurts too much for me to bear and I just want it to go away. All I want is friends and nothing more. So how can I make sure that I don't feel anything besides platonic feelings?

honey, listen here for a second:

you can’t make yourself aro. if you feel romantic attraction, you feel romantic attraction and you cannot change that.

suck it up, sweetheart. the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

BEING AROMANTIC DOES NOT MAKE LIFE ANY FUCKING EASIER. i’ve spent countless nights staring at my ceiling knows my aro-ness would keep a lot of people from getting close to me. i’ve lost countless hours of sleep wondering why i didn’t feel romantic attraction like everyone else– i thought i was broken and i thought no one would love me for it. so do not say you want to be aro just so life will be easier bc you cant handle love. i know countless aros who hate themselves because they’re aro. 

newsflash: if love hurts, then it isn’t love.

you can’t change your orientation, but you can damn sure change your mindset on things.  if you only want to have friends, then start saying no to people who want romantic relationships with you. feeling romantic attraction does not mean you have to have romantic relationships. it’s not like you can’t live without them, just look at all the aces here.

i know i normally don’t swear too much in answering these, but this ask lowkey pissed me off. please educate yourself.

-kai

anonymous asked:

Why is the hair like jet black? I guess i can handle the hair but not really when it seems like its focus of the whole image. I dont know if you want it to be the MAIN focus of the image or not but I personally think the hair should be toned down to make the color scheme for the chatacters. Too much contrast. But whatevs thats just my opinion.

Talking in terms of design, you’re exactly correct. The internal contrast is being driven up to make the hair the entire focus of the pictures. It’s purely fetishistic.

Furry characters can still have tasteful analogues for pubic hair, that are still cohesive with their color scheme and character design.

Still hairy. Still handsome.

The point of the recent images is entirely about the hair. Very hairy, bushy guys are attractive to me. And like many of the other kinks I’ve tried to whip my audience into a frenzy over, I love to push the limits and see just how fucked up people’s tastes are.

What really gets me going is when people get horny out of their mind, over one fetish or another that just totally rocks their world.

That’s the essence of powerbottoming, isn’t it?

Exploiting a person’s arousal, forcing them to apply it to you, make you a sex object, and then thriving off of their desire to use you?

Frustratingly, even for me, most of these stints are just fantasies.

I yet remain a small, lonely jackalope boy. Overweight, with an exhibitionist streak, looking for the right contexts for a great orgasm.

anonymous asked:

I'm an 18 year old girl and for my entire life I've seen myself as bi. But I've only been in relationships/been intimate with guys. Recently, I just don't feel attracted to men anymore like I used to be. I think I'm more gay than bi, but I don't want to explicitly say it because I don't want people to attack me later on if I happen to be attracted to a man. I've never thought about being a lesbian until recently, and it feels right, but I'm just unsure how to express it.

hey love,

some people do experience a shift in their sexuality in their lives. it doesn’t mean you weren’t bi before or that you can’t be a lesbian now, it just means that something has changed and an old label you had may not fit you anymore.

there will always be the possibility of “what if” when it comes to labelling your sexuality. What if something changes, what if the label wasn’t right, what if i fall for a man, etc. and there’s nothing I can say or you can do to eliminate the possibility of those things happening.

all i can tell you is this: you are allowed to switch labels if the one you had previously no longer fits you. You are allowed to ID as bi for one phase of your life, lesbian for another, and then something else after that, as long as you feel those labels represent who you are when you identify them. people grow and change and sometimes things change with them, and thats normal and doesnt mean you werent being authentic when you identified as whatever you did previously.

if calling yourself a lesbian feels right, then you are probably a lesbian. and if one, two, five, ten years from now, you find out that the lesbian label no longer fits, you are absolutely allowed to change it.

and unfortunately, there will probably be people who will give you shit for it in the event that does happen. there will be people who accuse you of “choosing a side” if you switch to the lesbian label, of “closing your mind” and “lying,” and then if you do fall for a man late in life and choose to ID as bi again, people will accuse you of lying again and betraying the community or whatever other bullshit. there will always be people out there who wont approve of you, and if you changing your label is what stops them from respecting you, they probably didnt respect you in the first place.

If you feel like you are a lesbian now, even if you dont think you were before, congrats! you can call yourself a lesbian! ur in the lesbian club! welcome! and if that changes in the future again, it doesnt mean youre a bad person or anything, it just means something has changed, and the bi community will welcome you with open arms. the most important thing is that you are true to yourself, anon

good luck!

hivestuck-strider  asked:

If you're trying to say lesbians can't like dick For starters doesn't have to be anything sexual in the relationship And either way lesbians are wlw and trans women are (shockingly) women

So you’re saying lesbians (who don’t like dick) should be in sexless relationships with males to work around the fact that they aren’t attracted to them? Do you realise how homophobic that is?

frosty-viking  asked:

do you have any medieval heith au headcanons?

Yes hello welcome to my cave sit down and grab a seat because do I have medieval heith au headcanons? You bet your attractive butt I do!!

Ok, they’re mostly off of a fic I’m currently writing but it’s fiiiiine:

  • Keith and Hunk are two childhood friends. When they were really young they made a promise to each other they’d both become knights to serve King Alfor. Turns out, only Keith can because only he is of noble birth.
  • Hunk takes up a blacksmith apprenticeship and Keith serves as a squire under Sir Shirogane
  • Keith is constantly upset with authority and wants to break the rules so Hunk can become a knight too
  • Hunk makes Keith a badass sword to congratulate him on being approved by the council to start official knight training
  • Hunk makes really good food despite having really limited ingredients. Keith often tells him his stews are better than any feast he’s had in the court
  • Hunk still practices swordsmanship in his free time, secretly (Keith totally knows about it. He’s definitely spied on him a couple times too)
  •  Their first kiss happens right after Keith’s first joust. He got his bell rung pretty well but he ended up winning. In the medicine tent, Hunk pushes away the tarp and runs to him, grabbing Keith’s face between his hands and smooching him.

That’s all I have for now. They aren’t really hcs though are they? Just sort of…thoughts.. lol

Thank you for asking!!! You’re the best one!

anonymous asked:

As a demisexual does it mean that I'm straight if I'm a girl attracted to guys? Also, do you have any tips for telling other people about/explaining demisexuality? I've had a crush on my best guy friend for three years and I want to tell him but I can't find the words or courage to, plus I'm anxious about how he will react (and also sorry I'm really new to all of this) :)

If you want to describe yourself as straight, you can, but it isn’t obligatory. As for coming out… I’ve found it most useful to describe demisexuality as a variation of asexuality, instead of putting the description first, which is where people get confused about how it’s “normal” or whatever. If you’re worried about how he’ll react, I’d float the idea of asexuality first as something you heard about and see how he reacts to it. Ultimately, though, telling people you have feelings for them is super scary. It’s one of those hard things in life you sometimes gotta do. Best of luck.

anonymous asked:

Honestly, I don't know how people have biases in this group I have like 53748274938 and that's not even possible how do people decide they're all so talented and dorky and attractive and wow HOW -Aries

svt: BAHAHHAHAHAHHA

jeonghan: just wait for it

soonyoung: one day one of us will attack you and we’ll be your bias

svt: yes this is how it works

joshua: your time just hasn’t come yet

seungkwan: enjoy the free life while you can

svt: //aggressive nodding// when it happens, you wont be ready

Originally posted by junghan

anonymous asked:

im support the lgbtq+ community sm !! but i feel guilty bc im bi and i don't except myself at all for that. :/ how do i overcome this feeling ?¿

it takes time. for the longest i struggled with accepting myself because of my upbringing. you can’t rush the process just remind yourself: you are valid. you are important. you matter. who you are attracted to doesn’t change that.

anonymous asked:

Oh my god your so cocky and elegant that it's even attractive..? I know it sounds like an absolute insult yet such a person with that type of mannerisms is what makes me pay attention even more, not because of your attention causing with won arguments but your personality is a perfect way to deal with literally everything. Is there any other social media I can follow you on because you amaze me so much. 🖤

I’ve been told I’ve a bold way with words but I like to call it “not taking any shit.” Thank you for the compliments, how delightful. I only have my five blogs here on tumblr and my Ao3 account. I am horrid at social media so I deleted everything some years back.

You can follow me to Hell, though. I don’t mind that.

anonymous asked:

When you say you are picky with girls, in what way do you mean? I think that sometimes you just have to be open to everyone because you never know and can't judge straight away :)

It’s funny you say that because we were having this conversation with my dad and brother the other day. It was more aimed at debating the saying “opposites attract” and how true or not we think that saying is…
In saying that when I say picky obviously I don’t mean that I’m just palming everyone off (makes me sound like I have 1000 girls chasing after me which isn’t the case at all by the way hahah)
At the end of the day the most important thing for me is whether I click with someone or not. And I give everyone a chance to click with and if it does it does and if it doesn’t it doesn’t. And I think that’s quite obvious when you hang out with people a few times. 
People can sometimes think that relationships and friendships are separate entities but I would say that both of them start in similar fashion. Obviously you have to befriend someone before you can get in a relationship with them. And if you don’t click as friends then why pursue it? We get so caught up in physical appearance and what people look like now (because we are so wired into social media platforms. I mean look at tinder, we judge a possible partner off photos first and foremost before even meeting them. Instagram has literally become a platform for people to showcase yourself physically) that we forget about clicking with someone on a personality level. How often do we hear “oh man she’s so hot, I’d love to be with her” as opposed to “man she was just so funny and witty, I need to see her again” and that hit me recently with someone I met. It put things back into the perspective of when you find someone that clicks it makes THE BIGGEST difference. It’s like this “woah” moment. 
So i’m super open to meeting new people and I do give people a chance but atm I’m so happy just doing my own thing, cause there’s someone cool I’m happy to hold out for and i’m content with that…
And if anything I would probably say that I was a bit too open before and willing to mirror so many different personalities to try and make something work and that’s not the way to go about it… 
Love is the most subjective subject ever, everyone has their own opinions on it and everyone goes about it completely differently and so I guess it’s whatever works for you and I’m trying to find what works for me :) 

anonymous asked:

in ur opinion, what's ym's most attractive charm?

this took me a while to answer bc he has so many attractive points, the difficulty of choosing only one kept hurting my heart ahhh ;; in the end, i figured i should focus on a personality trait instead of a physical trait and i’ve decided i like his straightforwardness best! i’m not quite sure if i can call it “straightforwardness” bc he’s not blunt or curt, but rather sharp-tongued when he wants to be. everyone knows how caring and sweet he is towards other people, and i love that side of him as much as everyone else, but there are moments when he talks coolly too without being rude. for example, there was the time he told haknyeon he shouldn’t keep saying that he would work hard but other people should be able to see and feel his efforts, or when dongbin was so nervous he kept telling him to get a grip bc if he couldn’t rap in front of his team members during practice there’s be no way he could go on stage. he never made a big deal when he said these things and they weren’t lined with malice or anger, they were kind of just quietly directed towards the intended person and i find that really attractive omg. i don’t know if i’m explaining this well enough but what i’m trying to say is that he’s kindhearted and considerate but also not a pushover. he’s got a nice balance between being easygoing and being respected, i guess i could put it that way! that’s not a easy thing to establish and i find it really charming ahh but really everything abt him is attractive and charming…. ahh this is kind of weird to point out isn’t it i’m somewhat embarrassed by e ;;

anonymous asked:

i mean i cant stand them because theyre ass to fight against and never shut up, i dont really interact with the shipping comm in lol but i can understand why some people would like to forget about their existance

They are talkative but thats mostly because Riot keeps increasing the amount of lines each champion gets as theyre coming out- Urgot now has like… 20 mins of just interactions!! And they trigger on everyone- even if you just use a pot. In a way it adds a lot of life to the game but I can see how they’d get bothersome- they yell across the map to each other.
But they are cute, canon, and both very very attractive.

Katie’s response after the whole thing went down:

“To be fair, usually, I’ve done a lot of shows where there is a very obvious undertone in between two female characters. And for once I was like… It’s not here.

And I was wrong apparently! 

But, we were talking about this the other day, about it, and, and the great thing about what we do is like any art is, anybody can read into it what they want to take from it. So you can see anything and take from it what you like, and that’s what’s great about this show, is that there are so many different ways to see everything. 

And if that’s what you see in it? You know, take it away! It’s art.”

_______________________

Like Mark Hamill before her, this is how you ally. Just because you may not have seen the character as gay, or having attractions to a certain character, etc etc etc, doesn’t invalidate what another person might see, and what does it hurt for them to see it that way? If it helps them, or gives them hope, or makes them feel brave, why would you take that away from them? She recognizes that what they’re putting out is art, and art has ALWAYS been subjective, so she doesn’t make fun of people for seeing what they see. 

Mars

Mars is the planet of passion, aggression, impulse, as well as sexual desires. Your Mars sign relates to what you are attracted to in a lover, whereas the Sun and the Moon relate to the husband/wife in a natal chart.  Mars is a planet of action and can reveal how a person reacts in conflict, whether it be rash and violent, or calmly and patiently. However, aspects to Mars play a role in action too. For example, a person with a Virgo Mars may react more calmly than someone with an Aries Mars in conflict.  If this Virgo Mars person has their Mars squaring Pluto in the natal chart, the Virgo Mars person may act more impulsively or angrily in conflict.

When it comes to attraction, Mars can exemplify your actions in relationships, whereas Venus is the planet that symbolizes how you love.

If you have an Aries Mars, you are very passionate and affectionate with your partner, or like to take risks in a relationship. You may also be restless. You could be quick tempered but your anger goes away as quick as it comes. You are likely to go after what you want and make sure you get it.

If you have a Taurus Mars, you may take your time with things, no matter how long it takes. Slow and steady wins the race, right? You may also be straightforward in a relationship. You don’t half-ass anything, and you are patient and sensual. On the negative side, you may be very jealous or possessive if another person has interest in your partner. Overall you are very giving and like to satisfy your partner.

If you have a Gemini Mars, you may tend to shift gears and you tend to be experimental in relationships.  You are usually very sociable within relationships. There is never a dull moment between you and your partner and you always want to do something fun or stimulating. However, since you have a love for flirting and like a Gemini Venus, you can get bored easy. Your words can be weapons if you are not careful when angry.

If you have a Cancer Mars, actions are based on emotions for you. You may be very sensual and you want to find a partner that you truly love.  You need a lot of romance and attention to keep you grounded.  You usually feel the need to feel emotionally protected. You are nurturing and giving towards your partner and you never want to see them sad. You may be passive-aggressive in relationships or manipulative.

If you have a Leo Mars, you are affectionate when it comes to love. You are also passionate to your lover; however, you can be very dramatic or be the bragging type  You like to be the center of attention in the bedroom. You pay attention to your partner, but your main concern is your own fulfillment. You are giving and enjoy taking your partner on fancy dates.

If you have a Virgo Mars, you feel the need to fix problems in relationships if there are any.  You may be a bit picky and you look for cleanliness and classiness in a partner. However, you may be a bit insecure.  On the bright side, you do little things for your partner to make them feel very loved by you.  You are devoted when in love and are experimental in the bedroom. You are a person who likes to please. You are likely a perfectionist even though you may tend to deny this about yourself.

If you have a Libra Mars, you need motivation and you do not like conflict within your relationships.  You can also be affectionate and very romantic with your partner. You may be very skilled at pleasing your partner and you will do what you can to create harmony between you and your loved one. Sometimes these natives have a hard time making decisions in relationships.

If you have a Scorpio Mars, you have a high sex appeal and you are generally faithful to your partner. You may also show jealousy and perhaps be possessive with your partner.  You need someone who is into the relationship and sexual needs as much as you are. You are serious about your relationship and may want a constant reminder that your partner loves you and won’t leave you. You are very passionate and affectionate and want nothing but the best for your sweetheart. You are usually up for anything in the bedroom.

If you have a Sagittarius Mars, you are a fun person and are always up for new things to do with your partner, and that includes in the bedroom. You like the idea of cat-and-mouse, or else you get bored and uninterested.  You like to feel new sexual experiences and you like to play hard to get. You don’t like to be bored so it is likely you will want to find something new to do with your partner often. You are usually optimistic and are willing to get through tough times with your partner. You make sure your partner feels loved.

If you have a Capricorn Mars, you like to take your time in relationships, enjoy the moment, and you work towards plans in your relationships. You may come across as cold or distant.  You also want security that your relationship will be long-lasting. You like to have control in your relationships and make sure things are steady. You also have a reputation of being really good in bed. You are hard-working and you can be very selfless in relationships.

If you have an Aquarius Mars, you may act unexpectedly in love. You may be into trying new things in relationships and you may be hard to figure out.  You may be in a relationship for the fun and maybe not the passion of it all. Similar to Sagittarius Mars, you want to find new and fun things to do with your loved one to create new and cherished memories with your lover. You are very open-minded and clever and once you are settled, you can be warm and caring towards your partner.

If you have a Pisces Mars, physical touch is essential for you and you may have a lot of romantic fantasies before you are in love.  You can send mixed signals to lovers, but you are compassionate. You have much to offer and are have a forgiving nature. You are generally quite gentle and are can be selfless with your partner. On the negative side, you may play games in order to get what you want. You are creative and have a wonderful imagination.