how can you be so precious im done for life

i think its funny when folks talk to me about the freedom in their life to do what they want.  as if, me being a mother, has been such a huge burden or limit.  

and every. fucking. time. someone tries to pull this – it is always someone who has done so little compared to me.  like folks who have the money and free time and us citizenship, but havent even left the usa.  they reblog shit about palestine, but never been to the middle east (and are too scared to go).  

they need the space to do serious writing, but i just finished a book tour this year and am working on my next book (about my boring life being a mama)

they really need to focus on their performance art, but i’m doing paid shows and collaborations while my daughter helps with setting up the merch table. 

and i’m sure that these folks are going to do really amazing things.  im sure.  and there are times when i am happiest just hanging out with my kid at the park or not accomplishing anything.  2017 is the year where i have nothing left to prove.  

but i just think it’s funny…you know…for the past 10 years i have been told how much my choice to be a mother has limited me.  

and i think the secret is, the secret that a lot of artists already know, limitations make it possible to make great art.  deadlines, limited colour palette, limited resources.  some of the best writing ive done under gun fire.  some of the best visual art i’ve done with found materials from unwashed streets.  some of the best adventures ive done broke as fuck.  

limitations can make you or break you.  

mothering has made me and broken me and remade me.  

mothering has made me realize how precious my life is and how i dont want to waste it wallowing in self-pity and shallow pursuits.  

im so bored of people talking about freedom and pursuing freedom as if freedom is economic wealth or not being committed to anything.

art and revolution require commitment and discipline.  

its not a lifestyle.  no amount of money, prestige, the right friends, the right shows, the right teachers, the right apartment, the right address, even the right scene won’t create deep transformations.