I just need a moment to breathe through these 3 quotes during one of my Kings Rising re-reads. Sometimes they are so simple but have the most profound effect on my feels!
“I hated you so badly I thought I’d choke on it…And then you saved my life, and every time I needed you, you were there, and I hated you for that, too.” - Laurent
I just can’t get over how special that use of “you” is for me in that moment. Laurent has been alone for a long time, and even reflects in his first POV chapter that his automatic assumption is that he is always alone in his troubles since Auguste died. So it would have still made perfect sense if, in that moment, Laurent had said: “every time I needed someone, you were there.” But instead he says ‘you’ as in Damen specifically. It is so much more intimate and personal and it just makes me want to weep… <3
“Thank you, I know exactly how it would have been. You and Auguste would have been slapping each other on the back and watching tournaments, and I would have been trailing around tugging on your sleeve, trying to get a look in edgewise.” - Laurent
I love this little scenario from Laurent’s imagination. What I love most about it is within the context of Auguste being Laurent’s everything. Faced with the amazing big bro, and the controversial barbarian Damen, Damen comes out on top in that little daydream. Laurent feels he would have been more desperate for Damen’s attention even over his own brother’s. We’re so used to Laurent being conflicted and angry over Damen but so adoring of Auguste that this switch of ultimate attention gives me so many feelings over the depths of Laurent’s feelings for Damen now.
And good lord, the way Laurent frames that scenario, it’s the two AWESOMEST GUYS IN THE WORLD being bffs with a lesser Laurent trailing after them. It’s another moment when we get to see Damen’s little pedestal next to Auguste in Laurent’s head.
You’re just as good as them in your own way Laurent, you beautiful idiot.
It takes me back to how far we’ve come since Damen thinks in Prince’s Gambit about how hard it is ‘…to imagine [Laurent] trailing around after an older brother
he adored. It was impossible to imagine him adoring anyone.’ WELL NOW HE DOES, DAMEN! GOOD JOB.
“At Ravenel, I–it had been a long time since I had–with anyone. I was nervous.” / “I know.” - Damen
Every time Laurent confesses something really personal that is hard for him to admit and Damen simply replies with a gentle: “I know,” I again want to just weep. This happens so many times throughout the entire trilogy and those two little words mean so much to me every time. I know Damen can be a bit of a naive bonehead sometimes, but when he gets Laurent he really gets him and is there for him. That feeling of: ‘I know it is hard for you to say these things out loud but you don’t have to say anything more, I already know and it is okay.’ Don’t you just really need someone to understand you sometimes without having to try and find the words first? I just love the connection these two have.
Told you, weeping!
Okay thank you for indulging me. And god bless the Captive Prince trilogy. <3