how can someone not like this show

anonymous asked:

Hi there. I am a new revert, and I have a question. Most of the local Muslim women near me are from countries like Egypt and are very conservative (long skirt, long sleeves, unplucked eyebrows, no hair showing at all, that sort of thing). I have recently begun to feel like they are judging me for not wanting to do as they do. For example, I wear jeans, shave my eyebrows and sometimes show a tiny bit of hair under my hijab. How should I convey that I do not want to be expected to do as they do?

Hi there! I totally understand what you mean! For some, you’re “too conservative” and to others you’re “not conservative enough” as a Muslim. As someone who wears makeup, does her eyebrows, and wears jeans, I can definitely feel the eyes of judgement on me from other Muslims. I mean a lot of us think about how non-Muslims see us, but even within our own community there is judgement, which unfortunately can push some people away from religion. My best advice is to remember that what they say or think of you doesn’t define you or your relationship with God. It doesn’t make you any less of a Muslim and in fact, it makes you a better one. While you’re on your journey and recognizing that you’re not perfect, they’re thinking that they’re above you but I promise you God isn’t looking highly on them for it. You do you, girl and keep it up! It’s the struggle on your journey that makes you a better Muslim! Please contact me directly if you’d just like someone to talk to about it! ☺️

anonymous asked:

I admire the respect you have for player’s personal privacy with relationships and stuff. I think of myself as a pretty rational person but I will be salty af when Willy starts dating someone .. how do I combat this 😂

ahaha well thank you ??? idk i mean i guess you can be a lil salty about it. we all daydream about getting married and all of that with our fave players right? i just don’t have it in me do not show respect so to say ?? bc if i myself was in the wags position i wouldn’t want anyone and everyone to know and snoop in my relationship. and same with the players… like sure we all know them and stuff about them.. but at the end of the day, they’re just like you and me. except they’re a bit better on the ice and a lot of people know their name. but they deserve respect for themselves and the people in their lives. and i do have a heck lot of respect for someone’s personal life. like i said, you can be a bit salty. i think everyone are when their fave players get in to a relationship. but as long as you’re respectful about it and towards them, you got nothing to worry about. the only shitty people are the ones who are rude to players and their ladies about it, i’m sure you wouldn’t be one of them. so go ahead and be a bit salty about it to yourself. it’s only human.😅

anonymous asked:

There are too many oarsmen in the writing room rowing SS OL in all different directions. And no captain at the helm that grasps the true north is the C/J relationship. Also, do all shows have this many revolving directors? It isn't helping. Also part 2: How the fuck can they be so careless with continuity --story, character, writing, wigs -- on the #2 ranked show on the network? Sure ratings are up a bit this year, but they might be double if someone at Starz/Tall Ships gave a damn.

Yes to all. I think different visions and perspectives is good, variety makes the show richer but only if everyone is rowing in the same direction, straight to Jamie and Claire. Some people focusing on other characters, some people focusing on other action…kinda makes the main plot disolve and blurry. It would help if they were told like here, you can do what you want with this but keep focus on Jamie and Claire, give time and room for their relationship to breathe and the rest is all up to you. 
As for the final part, those people seem to be their own worst enemies. 

honestly keith is in a super bad mental place right now yet i haven’t really seen that many people… care?

now i hate to say this, but if it was lance going through all of what keith’s going through right now? you know the fandom would be going CRAZY.

…but it’s not. it’s keith.

his teammates all keep dying around him left and right, he keeps nearly escaping death (like when he was stuck in space in e1), and he’s being given a bad mindset just being with the blade altogether. but that’s not even all of it.

we all know keith pushes people away before they reject him, but how do you think he felt when the team, the only family and friends he hasdid reject him?

as someone super similar to keith, i can tell you that does not feel good at all.

and i know they ended it all with a hug saying they’ll always be there for him, but don’t tell me it didn’t hurt keith when not a single one of them actually said they wanted him to stay.

especially when shiro knows the blade of marmora way. victory/knowledge or death. and he knows how keith is.

(which shows this shiro… isn’t s2 shiro. that shiro would’ve stopped keith from staying with the blade, like how he tried stopping him from doing the trials.)

now there are really only two reasons keith stays with the blade in the first place.

now that shiro can pilot black again, keith doesn’t feel as if he has a place on the team (similarly to lance). now we do know part of the reason he’s been with the blade so much is because he didn’t like being the leader. he didn’t want that position. he was forced into it, then always criticized for being bad at it. now he did get somewhat better near the end with the help of lance, but i don’t think he realized it. (lance is the only one on the team who ever acknowledged him as leader besides shiro, after all.)

keith tried staying off the team since s3e6, after lance opened up to him. he tried to give black to shiro (which we all know didn’t work) and he let lance have red. so he truly feels he doesn’t belong on the team anymore. the team not stopping him from just straight up leaving cemented that.

the other reason keith stays with the blade is to get a sense of identity. he’s had his knife all his life, it’s his only real connection to who he is. but he’s learning the blade way, the galra way, and it’s not good for him. they keep telling him “the mission is more important than the individual”, which shows why so many bom members we’ve seen (thace, ulaz, etc) have sacrificed themself for the greater good.

keith tried sacrificing himself not only for the mission, but because he believed the team would benefit more having him dead than alive. he didn’t say goodbye to anyone before he did it, not even matt, who he was already talking to. he doesn’t think he matters. he’s just another casualty that (would’ve) died for the cause.

in conclusion keith’s mental state right now is bad. he’s not selfish for leaving the team. he did it because he doesn’t think they need him anymore. he doesn’t think he matters.

and it’s the blade that’s really cementing this in his mind.

2

me @ those haters who’re trying to smear super junior members

How Did We Get Here: Milwaukee

With my first ever experience seeing Jack in person, I really gotta say, for a first time for a tour, that was something that words will never be able to describe. I won’t spoil much but a lot of what he talked about with being the youngest in his family, I could really relate to. A lot of the (unfortunate) bad stuff, I really could relate to. And to me, that’s something I never thought I’d be able to do, not only relate to a 27-year-old man from Ireland, but someone I look up to and admire for their kindness and humble nature. No matter how much his channel (and paychecks) are growing, he’s never talked down to us or treated us as if he’s better than us. He is using is popularity and the (I know he doesn’t like calling it this but) fame he has to show us that we can’t let our heads get too big and turn into arrogant assholes and that we need to, lack of a better term, remember how we got here. And just the whole experience was something I would not only definitely see again, but go to any other tour or show he has in the future. Congratulations Jack, you made it through your first tour. Thank you for all that you do, have done, and will do in the future. We’re proud of you.


P.S. if you see this, why the hell did you choose the Midwest as your first tour place?

@therealjacksepticeye 👁💚👍

So...

Now that Keith is officially officially a Scorpio,

I just want to point out the fact that Keith and Shiro have signs that are known for being very

If any sign other than Scorpio is capable of understanding Scorpio, it is Pisces. There is an emotional depth to Scorpio that not everyone is ready to face and Pisces are ready to face anything in the field of emotions. The sign of Pisces represents our oceans and seas, while Scorpio represents rivers. Each river flows into the ocean or the sea, and this reflects the emotional connection between these signs in the best possible way.“

very

(From Pisces POV) “This is one of those perfect matches which can make others jealous... You'll connect with this partner on a very deep and satisfying level, often knowing what each other are thinking or feeling at any given time. Scorpio aren't often portrayed as leaders, but the reality is they're more than capable of taking the lead if they choose to. In the case of your relationship you're likely to often appreciate your partners incredible inner strength - they can handle anything life throws at them - especially when they have a caring partner such as you beside them. Scorpio is a supremely devoted and protective partner, exactly what you need. Don't be surprised however if your partner will do anything to stop others taking advantage of you. See this for what it is - how they show they care - protectiveness rather than meanness.”

VERY

“ Traditionally, Scorpio and Pisces are astrological soul mates... Pisces looked like someone who would also protect and care for them, and who genuinely cared about Scorpio’s well-being and happiness. With time, Scorpio develops more trust in Pisces than they do in most other human beings.”

COMPATIBLE.

Girls and their Signs

“An Aquarius sat me down and she had a look on her face and I knew this was going to be serious. She was never serious, until she told me she loved me.

 An Aries stopped me when I wrapped my arms around her waist. She was not going to have it today, and I slowly just let go and kissed the back of her neck and she melted again. The fire in her eyes rekindled and we smiled.

 A Cancer called in the middle of the night, wanting to talk, and suddenly the atmosphere changed. She told me about her past, and what she had to go through and what made her become who she is now, and seeing her vulnerable I couldn’t stop myself from crying with her.

 A Capricorn showed me her scars and she laughed about it, and I knew it was forced. I reached for her hand and she slowly became a mess and apologized for staining my shirt.

A Gemini loved me so fully, that when she left she brought a piece of me where ever she may be. A side of hers will remain with me. 

A Leo came forcing herself into my life and showed me what real loyalty was, and when it was over she was proud to say that I will never find someone like her with tears in her eyes, but she held her head high and her chest out. She was proud of herself and she was right.

A Libra opened me to a world where not everything has to be spontaneous, and that everything can be so simple with just the amount of time and patience. She told me the world was ours and I believe her for it. 

A Pisces showed me how to be a hopeless romantic, and to vibe with the energy around me and not to take things to seriously. She was the half of me and she tells me I was hers.

A Sagittarius baked me tons of cake and sweets when she has time, and that was always the high light of my life. 

A Scorpio became so over protective of me and she would constantly ask about me and who I was with, but if vice versa she would say don’t worry and that I shouldn’t worry who she’s with because at the end of the day she was with me.

A Taurus loved me and sends me videos and music when she gets reminded of me. She would take pictures of art from galleries she visits and asks for my input of it, and we would laugh about it afterwards. She would sometimes send me pictures of me as her skin glistens like gold and she would ask me if she was beautiful even with her skin covered in scars.

 A Virgo came into my life and showed me all the 12 things I write about, and everything in her I see the opposite of me, and she was everything I could ask for. When she left the light she brought with her began to dim and I watched her love someone else, and that was the most painful thing.” 

Missing Link

Missing Link (m)

Word count: 6.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, talk of masterbation and language

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You catch Yoongi playing with himself before a night out and some part of you wants to join him. That’s crazy though, he’s your best friend… Right?


“Yoongi~”

“Yes, Y/N?” Yoongi said as he watched tv, happy to be home after a long day with you. 


“Will you please go with me tonight? I don’t want to go by myself.”

Yoongi sighed on the couch next to you. “Y/N, i’m too old to be going to these college parties.”

Keep reading

I need someone to show me my place in all this. 

Please do not repost or delete this caption when sharing :) if you like it, reblog it instead, caption and all!

commission me / buy a gal a coffee (ko-fi) / art tag / art gallery

13x02: Dean is John

Fairy Goddabb (and team) coming at us, waving his wand and textualising that Dean is John in a season all about fathers… Forget hail Mary’s I’m giving hail Dabb’s this year.

In 13x01 we got Grieving!Dean, canonically upset and nihilistic over the loss of Cas and Mary and the others. First every time though was Cas.

In 13x02 we are now seeing the fall out from this. Namely that he is mirroring both John’s life long grief over the loss of Mary, the grief that led him to act towards Sam and Dean in a way that led them to have so many issues that they are now overcoming, and also mirroring season 1 Sam through his grief over Jess.

We have already seen Dean drop to his knees next to Cas’ body just as Sam did at Jess’ grave and Mary did over John’s body and we had the scene where Sam pulled Dean back from Cas just as Dean pulled Sam back from Jess.

I then said here that I was expecting at some point mirroring of the scene from 1x02 where Dean offers to let Sam drive to take his mind off Jess (check!) and references to Dean not sleeping (check! - the “you were hallucinating sheep” conversation) but to get them both in 02 was fantastic :)

x x  Honestly, I want to keep a checklist of these things… I am so overjoyed!

Next is 1x04′s:

Sam “I’ve gotta find Jessica’s killer, it’s the only thing I can think about”
Dean “All that anger, you can’t keep it burning over the long haul, it’s gonna kill you”.
Sam “How do you do it?”
Dean “We help others, it makes it more bearable…and killing as many sons of bitches as we can”

Perhaps next week? In 13x03? When they go out to help someone else on a “normal” MOTW hunt? Who knows, I can hope. I can’t help NOT hope given we’ve been given so much else so far on my wishlist in such timely order. 

So anyway, yes, it’s established that Dean is GRIEVING. He is a MESS. He’s also perfectly mirroring both Sam in season 1 after Jess’ death and John his whole life after Mary’s death.

I wonder what could possibly be the link here? Hm. 

Originally posted by castielsprofoundbees

*we just don’t know*

So then yes, Dean is mirroring John. THIS IS NOT TO SAY DEAN IS LIKE JOHN. You can mirror someone without being exactly LIKE them. Look at Jack mirroring all of TFW. It’s just a way to expose a storyline and emotional motivations for someone’s actions. OK? I am not saying that Dean is John. It’s just a link to the story of the past to show the story of now and how parts are mirrored to be ADDRESSED and SUBVERTED.

This then makes total sense when we look at Dean’s interactions with Jack. Yes he is harsh and struggling with him right now, the cause of Cas’ death, the potential big bad, because he’s grieving and a mess. Just as John was. 

THIS IS A SEASON THAT WE ALL SAID WOULD BE ALL ABOUT FATHERS.

There is going to be so much symbolism around John in this season and frankly seeing Dean mirroring him makes me so HYPED because this means we really should see some amazing exposition of Dean’s feelings towards John and himself in relation to John and I cannot help but hope for CLOSURE on this now. 

Then we have Jack who is a huge mirror for Sam. Sam who was the reason Mary died, though of course it not through his own fault. Mirror wise, Dean is John and Cas is Mary, Jack is Sam. 

Original story: John/Mary - Sam.
Season 13: Dean/Cas - Jack.

Still with me? OK.

So now we need to see this subverted. The ORIGINAL STORY.

Where Dean and Sam’s lives were ruined and turned upside down by all this, by the yellow eyed demon and Lucifer’s plan, by Heaven’s orders. 

The terrible original story of how everything started seems now to be mirrored and subverted into a (potential) end (but at least a later story) where everything is ‘fixed’. 

In the original story everyone was manipulated. Mary and John were manipulated into falling in love (versus Dean and Cas who fell in love DESPITE Heaven and everything against them). Sam and Dean were fated to be the vessels of Michael and Lucifer but they chose free will.

Everyone tried to manipulate Sam and Dean down a certain path. Their whole lives were a manipulation up to the point they chose Free Will. 

Now JACK has to choose FREE WILL thanks to their guidance and help. Through mirroring them and their story and through them helping him choose the righteous and free path.

Originally posted by godshipsit

He has to be the catalyst and mirror to subvert this story, to allow the metaphorical John and Mary (Dean and Cas) to LIVE and have a happy ending. For the metaphorical Sam (himself) to NOT grow up into the demon blood arc, and for the real Sam to move past this, accept the past and move onto a brighter future, to let go of his guilt over it by helping Jack past this too. For Jack to do just as Sam did do in the end in season 5 and fight back thanks to support from his family.

Jack’s story is a chance to subvert all the horrors of the start of the story for Dean and Sam, but first their story has to be mirrored for this to work.

This is what we are seeing happening. This is the set up.

I AM A BALL OF FLAILING EXCITEMENT FOR WHAT IS TO COME!

Disturbing

Now I have a very unpopular opinion, but I feel very compelled to share it (because I’m clearly a narcissist and believe my voice deserves to be heard). Now, let me start out by saying that I LOVED the new It movie! I mean I have a blog dedicated to Eddie and Richie….Um, this movie changed my fucking life. That being said I do think there is a lot of missed opportunities. I feel like the weakest link to the film was Andy Muschietti and his hesitation of making the film too disturbing. 

I honestly believe the reason the film was so successful and impacted people like it did was because of the performances of it’s uber talented cast, the dynamics and relationships between the characters, and the way anyone can find a person in the losers club they can relate to. It successfully creates a very deep sense of nostalgia. The thing is, those things overshadow the fact that this is a horror movie. It’s easy to forget this is a horror film, cause it comes off more like an action adventure film, like the Goonies. It practically only has an R rating because of the excessive swearing. 

My whole issue is that Andy had such interesting characters with so many internal issues that he didn’t use to their full potential. A lot of it was even in the original scripts and he just trimmed them and made the film much more mainstream and family friendly. 

With Bill he could have had Pennywise use his parents neglect to really scare him. Make it seem like they only loved Georgie and Bill was a burden. He could have made Bill’s fear his guilt. Have Pennywise take Georgie’s form and accuse him of being the reason he died. If he hadn’t made the boat or let him go outside, he would still be alive. That would only touched on. 

Bev’s home life was done mostly well, but it had little to do with Pennywise. Like Penny never took her father’s form, or never played on the issues she had a school. He could have totally made it a issue of isolation and indifference. LIke everyone in school didn’t care about how her father treated her and possibly even blamed her. Which is why everyone called her a slut. 

Eddie’s whole thing with his sexuality was totally ignored and that was frustrating. He could have easily included it in the Leper scene and it would have truly added something a large portion of the audience could relate to. To see Eddie grapple with his feeling about what the Leper says and how he resents his sexuality. How the community would react to it. 

Richie’s home life and implied bisexuality in the original scripts would have made his character so much more interesting. He was turned into comic relief and that bothered me. His relationship with Eddie is very subtly insinuated. Like, look…we can all agree that Stephen King put everything about Eddie’s sexuality and his relationship with Richie for a reason. It’s tactfully done, but it is clear he meant for the audience to infer it like most people have. Richie’s intelligence and how even though he is an amazing child, his parent still abuse and ignore him. All this could have be so compelling. 

Mike was the most underused of all the characters. He could have totally played on how Pennywise used the racial tensions in Derry to cause massive fear in the town then turned into a bird and just ate a bunch of people. The whole thing with his parents, the black spot, Henry’s racism. There is so fucking much and he just being a farmer….blah. UGh its frustrating.


Stan the man and his feeling towards his religion and his ocd could have been utilized by pennywise to such better effect. He could have played on mental illness and made him feel like he was going crazy. It would have been such and easy and inexpensive sequence. His fear, resentment towards Bill, and the lasting damage of the whole summer.   

Ben’s fear just seemed dumb. He could have had Pennywise explore his body image issues. Scare him by having pennywise take the form of Bev and have her say she could never love someone like him and then show him glimpses of Ben’s future self…but with binge eating disorder. Just eating himself to death. Alone.  So much better than a fucking headless boy. 

Henry, Patrick, and the Bower’s Gang’s friendship…. I’m not even gonna get into it. They could have been truly frightening, but also complicated characters the audience almost had sympathy towards. 

Andy could have made a horror movie that explored deeper themes! How people are the real monsters; how mental illnesses, racism, and sexuality can be much scarier than any mummy or leper; guilt; confrontation with mortality; mental and physical abuse; how much parents really affect a child’s development. NATURE VS NURTURE!! I love the movie, but I think Andy is too afraid to take it further..into greatness.  Tell me if you all agree or disagree….if you read this at all.  

I wonder if Delirious looks like his GTA character or his fanarts..

6

cole + protecting the sisters and innocents

I love that the Death Note finale takes place in a grungy old warehouse because the scene of Light screaming about how he’s God in a warehouse highlights how far gone he is

like if you took the scene of him laughing and then explaining why he’s god, took it out of context and showed it to someone who hadn’t seen death note, their first assumption would definitely be “oh that’s just some crazy serial killer guy who’s the villain of the show” and it’s great that they make it that jarring so we can see what the task force sees and also see how fuckin nuts he’s gone

171009: Highlight of Got7′s 7 for 7 Showcase

They are back!

The songs they performed in order:

  1. Fly
  2. Hard Carry
  3. Never Ever
  4. If You Do
  5. Paradise
  6. Girls Girls Girls
  7. Remember You
  8. Forever Young
  9. Let Me
  10. Teenager
  11. You Are

The host talked about each members whereabouts since their break. 

  • Bambam going to Thailand and asking about his new fond interest of videography. He answered, “While watching Youtube, there was a person on vacation. I really related to that video. If I were to go overseas, I wanted to express the things that I left on that trip.”
  • Youngjae going to the states and they asked him to say one word he learned there and he said, “Thanks a lot.” because they kept saying it.
  • Mark having done a lot of pictorial and they asked which one was his favorite. He answered “I liked everything!” (Honestly, me too Mark. Every picture you took were perfection.)
  • Yugyeom studying different dance genres and demonstrated a dance and something else he’s been obsessed with which I have no clue what it is. But it was cute ^^
  • JJP with their comeback! Jaebum expressing how JJP is calming and being back with Got7 is loud and hyper. Jinyoung expressing how it’s nice not to be the maknae no more. 
  • Jackson with his single and ranking number one in China QQ music, etc. 

BamBam explaining Got7′s “You Are” video that was produced by him. He also explained creating the video meant picking the right angles for the members. He had to watch every members video and found it funny because they would be silly and then get all serious. Proud of Bambam because he worked so hard on it and Yugyeom even said so himself (’: 

The members explaining the meaning of each of the songs on their mini album.

  • You Are: “The song is about someone that we’re thankful for. It expresses our relationship with our fans. There’s a variety of ways that you can take it. As I was writing the song, I watched animated film. There are pretty skies and I was inspired by that.” - JB
  • Teenager: “It’s about how you feel. Once you start to like someone, it’s about how you feel. Especially in your teenage years. That’s why I wrote it.” - JB 
    • Bambam and Yugyeom both said they liked this song a lot and honestly I AGREE IT IS A BOP AND THE DANCE. 
  • Moon U: “It’s poetic. It talks about how the moon seems like you.” - Youngjae
  • Fireworks: “When fireworks are set off, it expresses that our hard work shows great results someday. I wanted to express this positive story.” - Jinyoung
  • Remember You: “I didn’t want it to be like a foreigner wrote it. Hajin helped me a lot, so that could express it clearly. It became very sentimental.” - Bambam
  • 내게: “I wanted to use a fresh beat. We used a Latin influenced beat. There was a metaphorical expression. I wanted to write about loneliness, but I thought it’d be too deep. It shows the apologetic feeling.” - Yugyeom
  • Face: “I wrote about “Face”. I thought a lot while writing this song.” - Jackson “There’s this part, “missing your face” you can interchange between the people and expresses that you miss them.” - Bambam

They took a break to read the Vlive comments.

  • A comment wanted Yugyeom to rap and he explained when he was a trainee he did learned how to rap then performed this rap he knows. It was cute and adorable.
  • One comment asked the MC to do aegyo and he asked JB to do it for him and he did. 
  • They had Jackson sing a part of Papillion. (:

That’s all but click ‘keep reading’ for the funny moments. ^^

Keep reading

4

Someone hug him pls!

In My Veins // A Stiles Stilinski AU Part One

Prompt: Life is all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever. But, what if one day, you could no longer remember any of them? (Part 1 of 2)

Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Oral (Female On Male), Talking About Sex, Intense Car Accident, Angst, Sad Stiles, and Swearing. 

Word Count: 8,051

Song: Heal by Tom Odell 

A/N: Teen Wolf is and forever will be my favorite show of all time. Actually, no. Scratch that. In Dylan’s own words, Teen Wolf will always be my home. I love it more than anything in the world. It puts the brightest smile on my face and the most beautiful tears in my eyes. I cannot tell you how emotional I am about it ending. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t either watch an episode, watch multiple edits, read fanfic, etc. Teen Wolf is apart of my daily routine and it ending is never gonna change that, but it’s definitely gonna hurt knowing I won’t see Scott and Stiles in new situations or Derek and Stiles bickering about the smallest of things or even Lydia being the smarty badass that she is, ever again. I’m heartbroken about the end but at the same time, I think it is the perfect time to end it. The Teen Wolf world has been apart of my world for many years now and although it’s time to… I’m never saying goodbye. I will never let go of this world and this writing community I’m lucky to be apart of. As the last episode of Teen Wolf approaches, I want y’all to know I will not stop writing about, and forever loving, my favorite characters from a small and chaotic town called Beacon Hills. 

Tears formed in her eyes as she stared at the beautiful Stiles standing in front of her, the young man wearing the sexiest suit this world has ever seen. She tried forcing them away by focusing on her wedding dress that fell just before her knees instead of him, but there was no use. (Y/N) was bound to cry on her wedding day anyway, it was simply inevitable.

The pack surrounded the two, everyone having their own variations of emotion evident on their faces as they gazed enchantedly at the happy couple before them. They couldn’t have been happier. Finally together in a situation that wasn’t full of supernatural threats or people trying to kill them, but was actually full of complete happiness. Scott smiled at them, his little dimples invading his cheeks as he announced they could now say their vows. With her own smile invading her red lips, (Y/N) turned around to grab the paper Lydia was handing her. The redhead was wearing an adorable short green dress that matched her gorgeous eyes, which also had tears in them funny enough.

“Thank you.” (Y/N) nodded at her before turning back to Stiles and taking a deep breath. “Mieczyslaw,” She began and everyone around her chuckled, her soon to be husband included. “I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. I vow to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they’re not. I vow to be the light in your life when all you can see in darkness. I vow to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home. It doesn’t matter what happens in the future, you are forever in my veins and I love you.”

As she spoke, (Y/N) could see Stiles’ eyes gloss over and he did a damn good job holding back his tears, something she herself was unable to pull off. Although, on the inside, Stiles was completely melting. He was finally marrying his best friend and he didn’t know how to properly react to it. Instead, Stiles took (Y/N)’s hand and kissed the back of it, his tender lips lingering on her skin before he turned around and got his own vows from his father.

“Well, you just set the bar really high.” Stiles joked and laughter echoed in the school’s halls. “(Y/N), I vow to fiercely love you and all your forms now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once-in-a-lifetime love and always know, in the deepest part of my soul, that, no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we’ll always find our way back to each other. It doesn’t matter what happens in the future, you are forever in my veins and I love you.”

Stiles stared into her eyes so powerfully that (Y/N) could feel his love for her just through his gaze. With the hand that wasn’t holding her vows, she brought it up to her cheeks and wiped away all of the insane amount of tears rolling down them. It’s a good thing the young bride was wearing waterproof makeup because if she wasn’t, she would look like a really hot mess right now. Not that it would matter, Stiles would still think (Y/N) looked beautiful anyway.

“Do you take each other as spouses, forever?” Scott asked, the gaze between Stiles and (Y/N) never breaking.

“I do.” Stiles nodded, his lips smiling.

“I do.” She cried.

“Then, by the power vested in me by the state of California and the internet, I now pronounce you-” Scott suddenly stopped when the school’s dismissal bell rang loudly in the halls, telling the whole pack that classes were over and high school students were going to start piling out of their classrooms. “Shit, I know pronounce you man and wife. Kiss each other quickly!” Scott panicked as they noticed the doors begin to open.

The entire pack began running towards the big exit as Stiles and (Y/N) hurriedly leaned in to kiss each other rapidly. It didn’t last any longer than three seconds as the adrenaline took over their bodies and they ran as well, but the two wouldn’t have it any other way. They wanted to marry their best friend in the exact same spot they first met each other and even if it meant having Coach Finstock yell at the top of his lungs that they were intruders as he chased them down the halls, it would be worth it.

Their friends were already out in the parking lot when Stiles and (Y/N) reached the exit, Coach right on their tail. Hand in hand, Stiles led them out of the school and she prayed to God that her veil wouldn’t get stuck on anything and yank her back only to get caught by Coach. Thankfully, that didn’t happen and they were able to run towards Stiles’ jeep.

“I love you guys, but come on!” Coach yelled when he realized he wouldn’t catch the former high schoolers and stopped at the doors. “You’ve already graduated, stop coming back to the school!”

(Y/N) giggled with Stiles as they watched everyone else enter their cars and hurry away. Stiles quickly opened the passenger door for her and she jumped in before he shut it to run towards his side. (Y/N) couldn’t contain her laughter and excitement as Stiles entered the baby blue jeep, his hands already fumbling to shove the keys into the ignition and drive away. They only allowed themselves to breathe again when they were on the road and far away from Beacon Hills High School.

The new wife couldn’t help but look down at the wedding ring now prominent on her finger that Stiles had put on her right before they announced their vows. Her heart swelled and she could feel how tight her ribcage had become. (Y/N) looked over at the man she can now officially call her husband and that feeling of needing to cry returned. Stiles was her everything and with this ring on her finger, she could now show the world. Another smile graced her lips as she thought back about the time someone asked her to describe her home and she started talking about Stiles’ hair color, the sound of his velvet voice, the taste of his tender lips, how much he makes her laugh with his sarcasm and how his silky skin feels like on hers — until she realized they had expected to hear a place.

“Am I really that handsome that you can’t stop looking at me?” Stiles sported a cocky smile, occasionally breaking his stare off the road to look at her.

“Yes.” (Y/N) bit her lip.

“I’m more than meets the eye.” He joked. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know?”

“I know, Sarcastic Stilinski.” She nodded, leaning in and placing a daring hand on his thigh. “You also have an amazing body.”

Stiles couldn’t hold back his laughter, but his voice definitely caught in his throat when (Y/N)’s hand moved a little higher. She ignored his lack of self confidence and relished in how damn sexy her husband was instead. She moved her lips to his neck and placed lingering kisses all over his goosebump covered skin. Stiles shivered at the incredible feeling of her skillful mouth sucking beautiful bruises into his neck. Normally, he wouldn’t let her mark him because of how uptight the bosses are over at the FBI but considering they are officially on their honeymoon, Stiles didn’t give a single damn. He wanted his wife to mark him so much, the only color you would be able to see on him is purple.

He pulled up into a red light and stopped the car. As soon as his foot was off the gas, Stiles’ lips were on hers. He kissed her fully and passionately, the proper way they should’ve shared their first kiss as a married couple. His lips completely enveloped hers, her moan vibrating through their mouths. They were so lost in the kiss, they didn’t even remember to check if the traffic light had turned green. They only found out just when Stiles’ tongue slid across her bottom lip and the car behind them honked their horn loudly, interrupting the newly weds’ little moment. Stiles sighed but pulled away to drive. (Y/N), however, didn’t stop her little antics.

Her lips moved to nibble his earlobe as she inched her hand closer to Stiles’ crotch. There was already a semi-hard bulge there just from her teasing alone and she only found out when her fingers grazed across the area. (Y/N) smirked against his earlobe and took it further into her mouth to suck on it before her hand gently massaged his bulge. Stiles couldn’t hold back the groan that erupted from his throat, the sound shooting straight through (Y/N) and directly into her core. To her, there was nothing sexier than the sound of Stiles enjoying the dirty things she did to him.

“Are you liking this, baby?” She asked, her hot breath lingering on his ear and turning Stiles on even further.

“A little too much.” He answered honestly.

“Then you’re gonna love this.” (Y/N) teased as she unbuckled the belt around his waist and pulled down the zipper. Unbuttoning his pants was the last thing that kept her from him before she slipped her hand past the waistband of his boxers and into the area he desired her the most.

(Y/N) held in her groan at the delicious sight of the dark and curly hairs of his happy trail, but Stiles couldn’t hold back his moan as she palmed directly over his cock. She returned to kissing his neck and his breathing became unsteady, (Y/N) pulled down his pants and boxers just enough to expose him to her. This time, she didn’t hide her moan and the sound made Stiles’ cock twitch in her hands. (Y/N) wrapped her hand around his shaft, her thumb caressing his tip, as the car suddenly swerved. She started turning her hand in and out to give him a full erection, not that he needed any help in that department. Especially when a beautiful woman he now has the right to call his wife was currently jerking him off in his jeep. Her pace was slow and Stiles could feel himself get harder with every thrust of her hand. The car swerved even more, actually beginning to enter the lane beside them this time.

“Pay attention to the road.” (Y/N) stated through a smirk, loud horns echoing around them and telling Stiles to turn back to the correct side of the road.

He straightened up and took a breath, driving back to the previous lane. “You are such a tease and this is a terrible idea, kitten.”

“Don’t pretend like you’ve never fantasized about this before.”

“Oh, I definitely have.” Stiles confessed. “I’ve fantasized about pretty much everything with you.”

“Well, now you have the rest of your life with me to bring those fantasies to life.” She smiled before unbuckling her seatbelt and leaning her face down to his lap.

“F-Fuck,” Stiles reacted, realizing what (Y/N) had planned for their little get-away. “Is that such a good idea?”

“Do you want me to stop?” She asked just as she wrapped her warm and wet mouth around his sensitive tip, her hand still moving up and down his shaft.

“Shit.” He grunted, his head hitting back against the headrest. “No. Keep going, kitten.”

(Y/N) smiled through her eyes as she looked up at him lovingly, her tongue swiping the precum leaking from his slit. Stiles’ knuckles turned white at how hard he was gripping onto the steering wheel and it took everything he had in him to keep his eyes on the road and not closed. The new wife hollowed her cheeks around his swollen tip and his moans grew even louder. It didn’t matter if he was expressing his thoughts in a pack meeting or if he was getting head in the comfort of his own jeep, Stiles is and always has been a very vocal person. And (Y/N) fucking loved it. She absolutely adores how loud Stiles can get when she’s giving him pleasure, it’s one of her favorite things about her husband.

Stiles couldn’t hold back when he let out the most sincere and animalistic groan, one of his hands flying to grab her hair. He tried so hard to keep his eyes open as (Y/N) sucked his tip like it was the tastiest damn lollipop she had ever put into her mouth. Which, to be honest, wasn’t exactly far from what she was thinking in her mind. She had given him blowjobs plenty of times in their relationship, yet there was something so inexplicably special about giving oral not to your boyfriend but your husband. Stiles massaged her scalp with his fingers and when she moaned around him, he knew he wasn’t going to be lasting very long.

“Fuck, kitten, that feels so damn good.” He moaned with her, bucking his hips at her vibration. “I think I’m going to blow my load pretty soon.”

She giggled around his member and quickened her hand’s pace moving up and down his thick shaft, the tip of her tongue flicked on the underside of his head continuously. Stiles screamed considering she was currently paying attention to the most sensitive part on his penis, his grip on her hair tightening in reaction.

“God, this is so amazing.” Stiles moaned uncontrollably, telling her in details how good she was making him feel. Another set of proof that Stiles could never keep his thoughts to himself, not even now.

(Y/N) felt him throbbing inside of her mouth and she was growing greedy, wanting him to shoot his hot liquid down her throat. Stiles’ hips jerked the second she removed her hand and took all of him in her mouth, his tip lodging itself in the back of her open throat. His face scrunched up in pure pleasure as he involuntarily thrusted into her mouth. (Y/N) put her hands on top of his to let him know she wanted him to take control, which he gladly did.

Stiles pulled her hair to guide her head as he fucked her mouth like there was no tomorrow. Her tongue constantly slid against the prominent vein on the underside of his cock, his thighs contracting and releasing as they reacted to the intense pleasure on their own. He gripped her hair tightly, but he knew she didn’t mind it, in fact she fucking loved it. One look at her was all the incentive he needed to cum, her eyes boring into his with such fire it could light up an entire house in flames.

His hips stuttered until his entire body froze as his dick released all of the load inside of him. White hot strings of cum spurted out of his tip and found a new home in her wet mouth. (Y/N) gladly hummed around him and swallowed all he had to offer as his eyes faltered for the slightest second and closed shut. They were too busy relishing in their own varied forms of pleasure to notice that Stiles’ foot had unknowingly pressed harder on the gas.

When she was done cleaning up his tip with her warm tongue, (Y/N) pulled away from his cock. A string of saliva mixed with leftover cum the only thing connecting them together before it completely broke. Stiles’ chest rapidly rose and fell as he breathed heavily, (Y/N) wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She pulled his boxers and pants back up into place. She buttoned and zipped it again before buckling his belt back.

Just as she looked up to expect seeing the hazy pleasure on his face, she found him with his eyes closed instead. (Y/N) didn’t even have time to shout for him to open his eyes again nor see what was coming in front of them before the jeep suddenly crashed into the car that had stopped for a red light in front of them. The collision was harder than anything they’ve ever seen, Stiles’ eyes finally opening. There was fear and horror evident in them as he was forced to watch the next actions take place right there in front of him.

With the jeep crashing into another car, inertia harshly jerked their bodies forward. Thankfully, Stiles was wearing his seatbelt which secured him and allowed him to only hit his head brutally on the dashboard. However, I couldn’t say the same for (Y/N). Her lack of a seatbelt a few moments before seemed like a good idea, but right now it’s what ultimately will change her life from this day on.

(Y/N)’s body flew forward and right through the windshield. The eerie sound of glass shattering and distant cackles of her bones breaking filled the air. She was knocked out as soon as she crashed through the windshield, the impact slowing her body’s speed enough to let it fall limp on the jeep’s hood and not out into the street. Stiles’ lost all feeling and his brain immediately shut down at the sight of his broken and now bloodied wife out on the hood. Just as he opened his mouth to call her name, the airbag released from its confines and smashed into his wounded head — the blow strong enough to knock him out as well.

What happened next was a blur of ambulances and police cruisers rushing to the scene, flashing lights and loud sirens unnoticed by the unconscious couple. Sheriff Stilinski had immediately been notified about the sudden accident and he was there in a matter of minutes. Only to have his heart break as he was forced to watch paramedics pull (Y/N)’s completely wounded body onto a cot and begin to check for any signs of life. He was sure he was gonna have a panic attack any second now, but the only thing that kept him sane was knowing that Stiles was already being rolled into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital to take care of his concussion.

“Wait a second!” A paramedic shouted and Noah immediately approached him, noticing he had two fingers placed on her neck. “I feel a pulse! Get her to the hospital! Stat!”

The paramedics hurried her to an ambulance as well and the Sheriff jumped in with her as they desperately drove to the hospital. He took this time to call Scott and Lydia first, his son’s and his wife’s greatest best friends. Malia and Derek were called next. Everyone getting hit with the devastating news and dropping everything to meet each other at the hospital.

(Y/N) was rushed into surgery for the broken bones that could possibly start piercing vital organs soon and Stiles rushed into intensive care. They did all kinds of x-rays on him and realized that Stiles was going to be just fine. (Y/N), on the other hand, wasn’t. He was released just a few hours after he woke up from the concussion, but she was put into a comatose state.

“Why put her in a coma for so many days?” Stiles asked when he returned to see her the day after he was allowed to leave the hospital.

“Your wife’s CT scan showed intracranial hemorrhaging.” The doctor explained and even though Stiles could never be as smart as Lydia, he definitely knew what that meant. “You don’t have to worry too much about it though, your wife will be okay. We purposely keep patients with traumatic brain injuries in a comatose state in order to calm their systems and allow the brain time to heal itself while the swelling subsides. And then we slowly wean them off of it.”

“And how long will that take?” He questioned, worried.

“About five days.”

The news was horrible for him, but he thought to himself that if (Y/N) could power through almost dying in a car accident and actually be strong enough to live then he can spend five days waiting for her. He visited her every single day in those five days, always bringing her flowers and little cards to keep himself sane. The pack was there with him for all of those days as well. Giving him all of the support and love he needed to get through this hell. He hated seeing her unconscious, knowing that it was his fault she was in this state. Of course it wasn’t his fault, but Stiles had a bad habit of always blaming himself.

“Hey, today’s the day.” Scott softly celebrated once they finally reached the day the doctors would wake her up. “She’s gonna open her eyes and the first person she’ll see is you, a smile will already be gracing her face when she does.”

“I almost lost her, Scott.” Stiles stated, tears welling up in his eyes.

“You’re right. You almost lost her.” Scott replied. “But, she’s alive and she’s gonna be okay. The doctor said no physical traumas are left in her brain. She’s completely healed.”

“What if there’s any collateral damage?”

“Jesus Christ, Stiles stop.” Scott grabbed his shoulders to shake some sense into him. “Now, I want you to go in there and tell the doctors you’re ready. You got this.”

“I got this.” Stiles took a deep breath looking into his brother’s eyes then peering around to the rest of the pack. They were all there. Sheriff Stilinski, Lydia, Malia, Derek, Kira, Liam, Mason, Isaac, Jackson, Ethan, Deaton, and even Peter. Everyone loved (Y/N) more than anything and each and every one of them were worried about her. Not to mention how they were there to support Stiles who was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Stiles smiled at them and they all gave him the encouragement he needed to walk into (Y/N)’s hospital room. He sat down on the seat beside her bed he had grown well accustomed to over the past week and he pulled out her wedding ring from his pocket. Stiles slipped it onto her ring finger and leaned in to place a kiss on her forehead. Once he pulled away, Melissa entered the room with a kind smile on her face.

“Are we ready?” She asked and Stiles nodded. With a syringe in her hand, she put its content into (Y/N)’s IV after approaching it. When finished, Melissa threw the empty syringe away and turned to speak to Stiles. “Okay, she’s gonna be a bit groggy so don’t crowd her. Let’s give her the space she needs right now, alright?”

“Alright.” Stiles agreed as he focused on her eyelids subtly moving until they finally opened. Stiles could feel his heart jump into his throat and pound against its walls as her eyes immediately fell on his. “H-Hey. My God, it’s so good to see you.”

“(Y/N)?” Melissa called and her eyebrows furrowed. “It’s okay.” The nurse reassured, noticing how lost the young woman was feeling. “(Y/N), you’re in the hospital right now. You were in a car accident. You hit your head but you’re going to be just fine. We kept you asleep for a little while. How do you feel?”

“My head h-hurts.” She stated through a croaky voice that hadn’t been used in a while and yet, to Stiles, it was the most beautiful sound because he was hearing her speak again and that’s all that mattered.

“That’s perfectly normal.” Melissa answered. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you something for that.”

(Y/N) winced as she nodded and stopped to return her stare back on Stiles. He expected the smile to appear on her lips just like Scott said it would, but for some reason it didn’t.

“Was anyone else hurt, doctor?” (Y/N) asked looking straight into Stiles’ eyes.

The heart that was pounding in his throat stopped and he could feel it instantly drop down to his stomach.

“Uh, (Y/N). You know who I am, right?” He asked, starting to feel panic creep up onto him.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “You’re my doctor.”

The heartbreak that Stiles was just forced to endure was no less than a fucking hurricane. The devastation he felt was absolute, his entire heart and soul completely torn apart. All of the memories prior to losing his mother crashed down on him harder than ever before. Leading up to her death, Claudia couldn’t tell the difference between reality and nightmare anymore. She couldn’t tell the difference between who were the real people in her life and who were the monsters. Because of that, the lines began to blur and she couldn’t even recognize her own son. The pain Stiles had to go through then returned and it broke him.

“(Y/N),” He called, touching her arm but she instantly flinched away. “I’m your husband.”

Her eyes widened in absolute confusion as she stared at the stranger in front of her. Yes, her mind was cloudy and she couldn’t think straight but (Y/N) definitely did not remember ever getting married. Especially when she was so young. The man that called himself her husband looked at her hand and she followed his gaze, a gasp immediately escaping her lips at the sight of a gold wedding band on her ring finger. She closed her eyes and she racked her brain for any memory — any small glimpse of him — but she simply couldn’t remember. In fact, the last thing she did remember was her life right before she moved to Beacon Hills sophomore year in high school.

“I don’t remember you.” She confessed.

Stiles got up and left before he broke down crying in front of her. The young man rushed to the wall at the end of the hall and rested his head on it, slamming his fist repeatedly on the wall. Stiles cried as if he were the one suffering with the brain trauma, doctors and nurses passing by couldn’t help but feel tears well into their eyes just by the look at the distressed man without even needing to know why he was crying in the first place.

Melissa eventually heard the cries and she immediately recognized them, calling Scott and Derek to follow her towards him. They found him sitting on the floor with his knees up to his chest, his hands gripping his hair in frustration. The sight was enough to get the three crying just as much as him.

Like approaching a wounded deer that would immediately run away when noticed, the three approached Stiles slowly and carefully. Thankfully, he didn’t try to leave. He let them kneel in front of him and he lifted his head to stare at them, uncontrollable tears rolling down his flushed cheeks.

“You’re right, she didn’t have any physical traumas.” Stiles sobbed, his voice croaking. “But, she definitely had psychological ones.”

“What are you talking about?” Scott asked. “Is she scared or something?”

“She lost her memory, Scott.” Stiles answered, his heart breaking even more just at the announcement. “(Y/N) doesn’t remember who I am.”

The shock wasn’t like anything they’d ever experienced before. It wasn’t just about empathizing for Stiles’ pain anymore, now they felt it along with him. The four looked at each other and they shared the dread together, no words were needed to be spoken.

“It’s like the ghost riders all over again.” Stiles commented and Scott’s heart broke remembering the time that he couldn’t. “But, there’s no supernatural cure this time.”

“She doesn’t need a supernatural cure.” Melissa spoke up. “Look, a brain injury isn’t like a broken bone or a laceration. Brains are much less predictable. Sometimes, due to the way the swelling tissue presses against the skull, it can cause some impairment-”

“Some impairment?!” Stiles interrupted her, hysterical. “Melissa, she doesn’t fucking know who I am anymore!”

“Even though she’s awake, the swelling can cause confusion, erratic mood swings or memory loss.” Melissa continued, ignoring his outburst. “Let the swelling subside and she’ll remember you.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“Stiles, you have to give her the time she needs. The days will pass by and she’ll start seeing little things that’ll immediately trigger her memory. Don’t panic just yet.”

“It’s actually kind of my job to freak out before anything happens.” Stiles commented, wiping away his tears.

“This time it’s not.” Derek stated. “This time you’re the one who needs to lead us all.”

“How am I supposed to lead everyone when I’m on the verge of permanently breaking down? She’s my anchor! I don’t know how to do anything without my anchor!”

“Stiles,” Scott called his attention to him. “Be your own anchor.”

~

Explaining everything to (Y/N) was nothing short of a disaster. To learn that you have lost your memory isn’t exactly something easy to take in. She didn’t understand anything that was going on but she was induced into trusting her nurse whose name she learned was Melissa. The one who called himself Stiles, which to (Y/N) was a very funny name but kept that thought to herself, visited her in the hospital every single day as she was forced to stay another week. (Y/N) didn’t know what to make out of that, but she especially didn’t know what to feel when he started bringing her flowers, bears and pictures of them together. He thought the pictures could possibly trigger her memories, but instead they triggered a sense of panic inside of her.

More people came to visit her as the days went on by and she couldn’t recognize any of them. She was scared of the people who loved her, unable to deal with the intensity of their emotions. Most of the time she felt lost with not a single place feeling like home, not a voice to comfort her mind with their familiarity or a set of warm hands she would allow to hold her own. (Y/N) hated that she was disappointing the people who so clearly cared about her, but she was too overwhelmed by it all.

The day she was released was the most intense. Apparently she had no family living in this town they called Beacon Hills — well no family other than her husband. She wants to please him, to recall something of him but there simply isn’t anything there. It’s so strange to her, that someone could know her so well and she couldn’t even return the favor. However, it was decided that she had to go home with him. (Y/N) was terrified at first, but one look into the man’s warm eyes was all she needed to know he had a good soul.

“You okay?” Stiles asked, looking over to his wife sitting in the passenger side of the jeep finally fixed after two very long weeks in repair. She was gazing around the jeep, taking it all in as he drove. It was the first time since she had woken up from her coma that something actually felt familiar.

“I can’t explain it, but this jeep oddly feels like home.” (Y/N) announced and Stiles’ eyes widened at the news.

It’s not just the jeep. I’m your home too. He thought to himself, a stinging pain invading his heart.

“That’s because you’ve been here so many times, it’s simply become apart of you.” Stiles answered.

“No, it’s more than that.” (Y/N) shook her head. “It’s like it ties me to something else that feels like home.”

“S-Someone.” Stiles said before he could stop himself. “Uh, me to be exact.”

“So, you’re my home?” She asked.

“Well, it’s what you said to me in our wedding vows.”

“Wedding vows.” (Y/N) thought aloud to herself. “Jesus, I never actually thought I’d get married some day.”

“To be honest, neither did I.” Stiles chuckled.

(Y/N) looked at him and despite the terrible situation they were in, Stiles looked calm. “What’s our story?” She asked him.

“What do you mean?” He looked over at her before returning to the road.

“How did we fall in love?”

“Well, we met at school in not exactly the most conventional way and that made us become instant best friends.” Stiles explained. “You thought I was funny and I loved how you always laughed at my jokes, something no one else around me did.”

“You’re funny?” She questioned, smirking at him.

“I’m one hundred and forty-seven pounds of pale skin and fragile bones. Sarcasm is my only defense.”

“Alright, Mr. Sarcastic Stilinski.” She joked and Stiles almost wasn’t able to handle her calling him the nickname she gave him since the moment they met. He smiled uncontrollably, his happiness suddenly spreading to her. “What?” (Y/N) laughed.

“That’s your nickname for me. You created it when we first met.” Stiles announced and (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile even wider.

It wasn’t exactly a memory, but it was a small part of her resurfacing and that made her heart swell with excitement. The car ride was light and happy as they approached a large and very tall building, no other words needed to be exchanged. They didn’t want to ruin the good mood and decided to let the radio fill the silence instead. Once Stiles parked the jeep, the two jumped out and walked into the building. Stiles led her into an elevator and in a matter of seconds, they walked out of it and approached a large door. The young man pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked it before sliding the door open.

She walked inside and her eyes explored it all. The living room and the bedroom were one big room together, no divisions in between the two. And there was a spiral staircase to what (Y/N) assumed lead to a kitchen upstairs. Here was another place she suddenly felt familiar to. It wasn’t as strong as the jeep, it was like a cloudy dream, but she definitely felt like she’d been here before.

“I’ve been here many times as well, haven’t I?” (Y/N) questioned, looking back at the young man currently sliding the door closed.

“Yeah, you have.” Stiles nodded, walking towards her and for the first time, (Y/N) didn’t shy away. “This used to be Derek’s loft, but he gave it to us as a wedding gift.”

“That’s one hell of a wedding gift.” (Y/N) pointed out.

“Well, he’s a very close friend of ours and he doesn’t even use this place.” Stiles shrugged, putting the keys back in his pocket.

“Derek is the one with the scruff and the leather jacket?”

“Yes,” Stiles chuckled. “That’s our sourwolf.”

“Sourwolf?” (Y/N) questioned, cocking her head to the side in confusion. Stiles held back the need to widen his eyes as he realized he just dropped a really huge bomb on her at literally the worst time.

“Y-Yeah,” He stuttered, saying the first thing that popped into his head. “You know how people like to call each other puppies? Well, we like to call him a wolf.”

“Because he’s like a puppy but too strong to be considered just that so you call him a wolf?” (Y/N) tried to make sense of it and Stiles was glad she came to her own conclusions.

“Exactly!” Stiles sighed in relief.

“Hm, well that sourwolf is very handsome.” She commented, beginning to walk away to explore some more, and Stiles’ jaw dropped.

“Hey, I’m your husband here!” He called, his voice echoing in the loft along with her chuckle.

“I know, Stiles. It’s just an observation.” (Y/N) walked up the staircase.

“That’s one hell of an observation there.” Stiles sassed, following her up to the kitchen. He noticed her looking to the fridge and pushed away his jealousy to focus on what she needed. “Are you hungry?”

“A bit.” She confessed.

“Okay,” Stiles nodded, walking to the fridge as he nodded for her to sit at the table. “Sit down, I’ll make us something to eat.”

“Thank you.” (Y/N) answered, taking a seat.

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“Right.” (Y/N) nodded. “Because you’re my husband.”

“Correct.”

Stiles quickly got to work, pulling out ingredients left and right to make her the most delicious meal he could ever try to. He wasn’t exactly the cook in the relationship, but he wanted to impress her anyway. (Y/N) watched him as he roamed around the kitchen, putting together their dinner. She smiled to herself, noticing just how lost he looked and she quickly realized that she was the one who probably cooked more often.

“Can I ask you something that’s been really bothering me since I found out your name?” She asked and Stiles stopped to nod at her with furrowed eyebrows. “Why did your father name you Stiles Stilinski? Was he trying to get you bullied in school?”

Stiles immediately burst into laughter and (Y/N) smiled with him before he finally caught his breath to speak. “My name isn’t actually Stiles.”

“Oh my God, you’re an imposter!” (Y/N) stood up, scared. “Who the fuck are you?! Who’s the real Stiles?!”

“No, no,” Stiles approached her, his lips still smiling. “Stiles is just a family nickname. It’s what people call me but my real name is actually Mieczyslaw.”

“Miec- what?” She questioned, unable to pronounce it.

“Mieczyslaw.” He repeated.

Her eyebrows furrowed at him. “I’ll just call you Stiles.”

“Fair enough.” Stiles chuckled as they both returned to their previous posts.

“Stiles, how did I get into a car accident?”

“Actually, we um, we were in the accident together.”

“Why didn’t you get as hurt as I did?” (Y/N) asked and Stiles swallowed nervously.

“You weren’t wearing a seatbelt.” He answered, avoiding any other information. Although it didn’t work because like the (Y/N) he has always known, she kept digging.

“Why wasn’t I wearing a seatbelt?”

“Y-You, um, you took it off to focus on something else.” He gulped. “But, hey, dinner’s ready!”

Stiles grabbed plates from the cupboard and quickly put them on the table, then he went into the drawers to grab forks. (Y/N) noticed his change in demeanour and decided to wait until he was finished setting the table and sitting across from her to ask more. When he did sit down and relax, thinking that she had moved on from the topic he quickly realized she hadn’t.

“What was I so focused on that was more important than keeping my seatbelt on?” She asked and Stiles sighed.

“Look, (Y/N), you don’t want to know right now.” He answered. “Just eat your dinner, okay?”

“I do want to know, Stiles.” She pressed. “Or is that even your real name?”

“It’s not, we’ve been over this.” He laughed.

“What was I doing?”

“Something really explicit. Are you sure you want to know?” Stiles questioned, extremely nervous, and she nodded. “You were, um- You were giving me a blowjob.”

“Hm,” (Y/N) thought aloud. “Interesting.”

Stiles was perplexed, shocked even. He expected her to be horrified and completely grossed out about the idea of giving a stranger head, instead she wasn’t. She seemed almost intrigued by it.

“Was I any good?” She asked.

“What?” Stiles asked, caught off guard by the question.

“Am I good at giving you blowjobs?”

“Y-Yes,” He nodded. “You’re very talented at it.”

“Cool,” She smiled and Stiles didn’t know how it was possible, but he fell even more in love with her.

~

“So, we all went to highschool together?” (Y/N) asked the group of people currently sitting with her on the floor in the middle of the loft.

As soon as they had finished eating dinner and Stiles showed her around, hoping to God she would see something she recognized and remember him but unfortunately didn’t, the pack all came piling into the loft to visit them. They wanted to see the girl they all loved so much healthy and out of the hospital. They sat in a circle on the floor, sharing many stories that involved her to hopefully get her to remember. So far, it wasn’t working.

“Well, I didn’t.” Derek pointed out.

“You were always at the school anyway so shut up, Derek.” Stiles spat and (Y/N) held back her laughter, knowing he was still a bit pissy about her calling Derek handsome.

“Jesus Christ, Stiles.” Jackson complained at the human. “Lighten up a little.”

“No.” He pouted, crossing his arms.

“Why not?” The part kanima part werewolf pressed.

“I don’t need to tell you. The answer’s no and that’s that.” Stiles huffed. “You want to hear it in-”

“I don’t want to hear it in Spanish, Stiles.” Jackson rolled his eyes.

Scott looked at his best friend worriedly. They were both sitting across from (Y/N), but you could tell how much Stiles wanted to sit beside her. Instead, Lydia and Malia took that place. The alpha werewolf could see how hurt Stiles was, still not over the fact that his wife doesn’t know who he is. Not that that’s something easy to overcome, but you’d think Stiles would have hope she would remember him again. The thing is, Scott didn’t spend the entire afternoon trying to get passed the invisible wall between them like he did. Stiles showed her everything from the lacrosse hoodie she loved wearing so much to the aluminum baseball bat he would take everywhere with him, but nothing triggered any of her memories. The frustration was starting to get to him and he couldn’t help but think he would never get his wife back.

“Stiles, it’s been one day.” Scott leaned in and whispered to his brother. “She needs more time.”

“But, it’s not even about time anymore, Scott.” Stiles turned to him, his eyes desperate. “I showed her everything we own, everything I own and they all mean nothing to her. She remembers the jeep without actually remembering it but still we’re not moving forward. There’s nothing physical that ties her to me in her mind.”

Scott didn’t know how to respond, I don’t think anyone would know how to respond to such a tragic thing actually. He gave Stiles a squeeze on the shoulder and, suddenly, he felt the emotion underneath him with just a single touch — pain. Stiles was in pain. With tears prickling his eyes and looking around to make sure (Y/N) was too engaged in her “new” friends to notice the two, Scott placed his hand on Stiles’ arm and took away some of his pain. Stiles’ own eyes welled with tears as he watched the black veins appearing on Scott’s hand, drawing away the pain Stiles didn’t want to have anymore.

“Thank you.” Stiles blinked away his tears and Scott gave him a small smile that was full of so much emotion.

“You’re my brother.” Scott nodded, finishing up and retracting his hand. “I’ll always be here for you.”

The two went back to the conversation the group was having and realized they were talking about how Stiles and (Y/N) live in Derek’s loft now. How the place that used to be completely empty aside from a bed, a couch and a table, actually looked like a home.

“That was (Y/N)’s doing.” Stiles announced. “She decorated the whole place and made it proper to live in.”

“I did?” (Y/N) smiled, looking around the place and thinking to herself that she actually had really good taste.

“You did.” Stiles stared longingly at her.

“You know.” Peter spoke up and grabbed all of their attention. “I used to live here, (Y/N).”

“With Derek?” She furrowed her eyes.

The former alpha nodded. “I’m his uncle.”

“You guys look nothing alike.” She chuckled.

“I know.” Derek intervened. “I’m much better looking.”

She tried to hide it, but Stiles definitely noticed the blush on her cheeks as she smiled. He growled internally at the sight, his jealousy returning stronger than ever.

“So, where do you live now?” (Y/N) asked them both.

“I live in South America actually.” Derek answered. “I’m just visiting for the time being.”

“What about you, Peter?”

“I live in an underground network of-” Peter started his sentence, but (Y/N) immediately drifted off when a scene suddenly played in front of her eyes.

“In an underground network of caves hidden deep in the woods.” A very relaxed Peter answered, his legs up on the coffee table as he leaned back on the couch.

“Whoa, really?” An unknown voice asked behind me.

“No, you idiot.” Peter rolled his eyes, chuckling. “I have an apartment downtown.”

It was the first of many scenes that began resurfacing in her mind, all of them involving Peter. Everyone in the room noticed something was different with (Y/N) as her eyes darted back and forth and they looked as if they weren’t focused on anything in the room, Peter stopping his sentence. Scott and Stiles exchanged glances, wondering if what they were thinking was happening, was in fact happening.

To answer your question, yes, she was remembering. The little infamous Peter quote was enough to trigger every single thing he’s ever said when around her. All of the memories she had of Peter were returning all at once. The ones from when she first found out he was the Alpha to when he saved her in a fight she didn’t understand why she was apart of. Every other face was blurred except for Peter’s.

“You have an apartment downtown.” She announced, smiling ecstatically. “You’re Peter Hale. You were an Alpha werewolf but were killed by someone that looked like a blur. You started out evil, but you changed. You became a good man. You went to hell and back because you couldn’t decide if you wanted to have me killed or save me. But, now, now you’re good. You’ve redeemed yourself.” (Y/N) felt proud herself for finally having a memory triggered. “I remember you.”

“W-What about me?” Stiles asked, suddenly standing up. “When he told us that he had an apartment downtown, I was there with you.”

“Y-You’re the one that believed he lived in caves?” (Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows, remembering what was said but not who said it.

“Yes! You remember me!” Stiles eyes gleamed with hope.

“No, I-I don’t.” (Y/N) shook her head, feeling bad. “You’re not in the memory, not even your voice. It was muffled and I couldn’t recognize it. I only saw Peter, I’m sorry.”

“That makes no sense.” Stiles answered in frustration. “How do you remember a memory I’m in but not remember that I’m in it?”

“You’re just a blur.” She replied, getting overwhelmed with how intense he was suddenly being.

“No, you remember me! Just focus on that day, okay? Who asked where he lived? It was me! I did. Try to remember.”

“I-I can’t.” I scrunched my face, trying.

“Try harder.” He pleaded.

“Stiles, I think you should stop.” Scott warned, noticing how scared she looked.

“She remembers me, I know she does Scott.” Stiles shook his head sternly. “You got this, (Y/N).”

“I don’t.” (Y/N) panicked. “I only remember Peter.”

“Think about that day. You’ll remember me.”

“I don’t remember you!” (Y/N) shouted at the top of her lungs, deciding she had enough.

The air in the room immediately became intense and everyone stopped breathing, their hearts aching at the scene in front of them. Stiles and (Y/N) had been in love practically from the moment they met and to see them forced into this tragic situation was hard on every single one of them. When (Y/N) looked into his eyes and saw the pain behind them, she realized her yelling had hurt him more than her forgetting.

“I-I’m sorry.” She apologized, tears forming in her eyes at her outburst. “I’m sorry, Stiles, I-I didn’t mean to.”

“No, it’s fine.” Stiles cried along with her, he took a step to approach her.

“I’m sorry.” (Y/N) apologized again. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Before he could say anything else, (Y/N) ran up to the kitchen to hide. He knew she going there to cry and if he chased after her right now, it would just overwhelm her even more. With his heart falling into an abyss, Stiles stayed downstairs.

“Are you okay?” Derek asked, being the first to break the awkward silence.

“I will be.” Stiles nodded, wiping away his tears.

“Hey, she fell in love with you once.” The sourwolf shrugged. “She can do it again.”

Stiles’ head lifted and he looked at one of his best friends in hope. He was suddenly optimistic, something no one else in the pack expected to see after what just happened. Stiles, for the first time in a long time, had faith.

“You’re right.” Stiles smiled. “She doesn’t remember the memories we shared together, so I guess we’ll just create new ones.”

I’ve been trying for awhile to accurately describe the feeling of loneliness. Each time it feels like I’m missing something. I never come close enough.

It’s a tricky one. It’s not as expressive as sadness is. Doesn’t gut you, slice you open the way grief does. Loneliness works differently. It doesn’t slap you in the face like anger or jealously. It takes time penetrating your life.

You ever have a friend that you didn’t particularly like? You don’t know how you became friends. It seems like they’ve always been around. Not sure why. Not sure the moment they went from stranger to a contact in your phone. Loneliness is like that. Yeah, like an invader that moved so slowly, you didn’t even notice. I guess it just sits there, like some bruise that’s so close to being healed. Sometimes you think it’s gone. If you stay distracted, plugged in, never fully present, you might not feel it at all.

But like a bruise, if you touch it you’ll wince. You’ll be reminded it’s still there.

In my experience, loneliness rarely has to to do with being alone. Sure, that might amplify it, but it’s never the root cause. Loneliness shows up when you forget yourself. It’s present on the nights you feel like a stranger in your own body and you wonder how long you’ve been on autopilot.

On those nights, you’ll ask yourself, “have I always been this lonely?”

When it becomes too much, on the bad nights, you’ll look for immediate distractions. We’re good at that, us humans. We’ve figured out how to be so plugged in all the time. We’ll numb ourselves with food or alcohol or superficial connection. We’ll text someone we shouldn’t. We’ll binge watch shows on Netflix until the screen is forced to ask, “are you still watching?”

On those nights, you’ll hate admitting just how lonely you really are. It feels like a failure of sorts. Because loneliness, unlike sadness or anger, is harder to figure out. Why do we feel this way? How can we fix it? I’m still not sure I know the answers to those questions, but I do know loneliness does not go away if you just ignore it.

It sits. It waits. It stays tucked away for the next bad night. The next night you lower your defences.

Perhaps there is a feeling of unity in our loneliness. That even in our most isolated, in our pangs of pure lonely, we can know that others are feeling that way too. Maybe we should talk more of our loneliness. Maybe that’s how we take it’s power away. We share, we grieve together, we try to understand this feeling.

I wonder how many of us are hurting right now. I wonder how many of us are afraid to let the world know just how lonely these nights can be.

Sometimes I feel like ripping apart my skin and searching for a reason why I feel the way I do. So empty. Maybe my veins are tangled, or maybe something is lodged in my rib cage. Because it feels like something inside of me is missing or broken and I would give all the money in the world to find that missing piece.

—  my random 2am thoughts