how can one man do this to me

I love the moment when Hiccup falls through the crevasse, and like, Toothless, he’s right on the edge, and he would have made it but nah, Hiccup’s falling so he’s gonna go after Hiccup.

And gods, love America’s “Where’d he go? Hiccup!” And I love Astrid like fucking refusing to leave Hiccup and Toothless and trying to get Fishlegs to stay, and Fishlegs calmly tells her “If we don’t go now we’ll all be trapped. There won’t be anybody to help Hiccup.” 

Also, I can’t help but think of years later, with Sandbusted where Fishlegs is working with Astrid to save Hiccup again, and he’s so great with her.

anonymous asked:

Know any good izuocha fics? I feel like I’ve read every one in existence 😩

Sadly we’re just as short in that as you in that area but heres a admins favourite compilation list to hopefully tide you over:

So sorry none of us have had much time for fics lately but I hope theres something here you haven’t read (ノ・_-)☆

-Mod poptarts

open letter to every girlfriend standing back while her man and his friends aggressively approached some freak

i hated you then because you didn’t speak out for me.

playful, laughing whine, “stop it! haha!” and a quick punch on the shoulder. soft dissent. i recognize it as the same noise girls make when a man picks them up against their will. how can you say “no” in a playful enough way to not be a bitch? there’s no answer to that one, and its not a question you’re asking now.

nervous laughter, hugging your own arms. avoiding eye contact and tensing. i recognize that too, with distance enough.

this is not the bystander effect. you spoke out as loudly for me as you ever would for yourself. i saw you do it. can he not read you or does he ignore you to plunge forward? does it matter?

i hope you got away too.

A Friday Five

- I don’t feel like doing anything today. I’m at work, but man I’m ready to go home.

- I’m starving. Like really hungry. Stomach growling. I wish lunch would hurry up.

-I’m working on some stuff for my stand up,but I just can’t seem to get it right. I know where I want to go but figuring out how to get there is the problem. It’s driving me crazy.

- I hate being indecisive. It’s one of my least favorite qualities. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to not second guess every decision you make.

- Thinking up five things about yourself is tough.

super upopular opinion

honestly? what mark is doing rn is fine with me. cool, have fun. but what  hate is the side of his fan going ‘’owwie too much!!!’’ ‘’take a break!!’’ but he did. last thing he did was WKM a while ago. you all act like jack is innocent lmao. he’s not, since you know him and robin do a lot of anti. you cant shit on one youtuber without shitting on the other. i had to follow my FRIENDS because of how this is actually hurting me. i almost cried so much last night bc of the thought of my friends hating a man over something. also, apparently his fans spam jack and ethan. since when? proof? where? BUT ALSO THATS NOT MARKS FAULT. THATS HIS FANS FAULT FOR NOT KEEPING THE SHIT IN HIS. OWN. FANDOM. if it its so bad, they both can make a announcement saying hey please dont do this. honestly,,,,i love mark so much i grew up with him around 2013 or 2014.. but all of this makes me not wanna be near him AND THAT HURTS ME SO MUCH?

do you know what gets me the most.

how joyous it was.

I didn’t know how much I needed that until it was over.  I honestly almost forgot stories could do that.  that no one has to die in the final act for it to be meaningful.  that it doesn’t have to be angst-riddled for it to make an impact.  that you can have the happiest goddamn ending imaginable - give everyone, every character, exactly what they want - and earn every second.  every single exultant moment.

god did they earn it.

it just filled me with light.  that’s the only way I can describe it.  it filled me with so much light and for someone who’s been really disheartened with the world lately I can’t even begin to tell you how invaluable that is.  stories matter.  I honestly in-my-soul believe it’s one of the most importantly human things we do and this one was full of love and hope and so much laughter and it felt like a win, didn’t it?  Griffin told us we would.  and we did.  and we’re gonna.

you know that MBMBaM thing they always say?  “No bummers”?

that’s TAZ man.  no bummers.  a MILLION HAPPY TEARS sure.  but bummers? 

nah.  we’re good out here.

My Dearest Harry,

 

Happy Birthday!!!! I’ve set an alarm for 8:30, and if you haven’t fire-called me by then I’m side alonging Rose over to scold you. Today took some serious planning, dear, and that boyfriend of yours will never forgive me if you show up late. Wear that green top- it brings out your eyes!

 

With love,

 

Hermione Granger-Weasley

 

 

Potter-

 

If you are late this afternoon I will fillet you alive.

 

Birthday Wishes.

 

-Draco (I love you. Wear the green top.)

 

 

Harry,

 

Happy 37th, Mate!!! Do us all a favor and get your old arse out of bed before 2, would you? ‘Mione and Draco have been working together, and you know how they get going. She’s in a right fuss, that one. I had to talk her out of sending you a howler this morning, and that was only by… Distracting her, so to speak. As I’m human and understand human emotions, needs, etc., (unlike our crazy robotic lovers), I’ve sent over a coffee and some chocolate frogs to make the ungodly time a little more bearable.

 

Cheers!

 

Ron

 

P.S. Hermione told me to tell you to wear the green top? I don’t give a flying fuck what you wear as long as you and Malfoy manage to keep the clothes firmly on this time.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had to hold mum down, she wanted to bring you breakfast in bed this morning. As much as she loves you, I’m not sure how she would have felt if she walked in on you having a lovely birthday shag with Malfoy against the coffee table. You’re welcome. See you tonight. And, for Merlin’s sake, try to be on time. In the green shirt, or Malfoy will send you straight back. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-Ginny P.s. Luna sends her regards and also asked me to tell you that green wards off the hucklefins.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had the strangest dream last night, Harry. I was being chased by a group of wrackspurts, all of them demanding I return their ‘treasure’. I was quite confused by their insistence that I had taken this ‘treasure’ (you know how I feel about stealing, it affects my aura), and I kept spraying lilac essence to ward them off, but to no avail. I asked Ginny if she thought it meant something, but she thinks I may have just had too much to drink last night. What do you think?

 

Oh yes dear, I almost forgot! Happy Birthday! I do hope you know to be on time, but I’ll try to distract him if you run late. I read last night about some very new potions research that could keep him talking for at least an hour.

 

Love you, dear.

 

Luna (Wear green.)

 

 

The boy who continues to live,

 

I’d say congratulations, but you’ve been complimented so many times for merely staying alive that it feels tacky at this point. Draco’s got himself all in knots over tonight’s events, and as much fun as it’s been watching him all flustered, I know that if you manage to screw this up I’ll be the one supplying his alcohol, so I feel I must warn you; If you wish to continue to be the boy who lived, show up on time, and properly dressed, if you can manage. Although, come to think of it, “The boy who fucked up one too many goddamn times” has a ring to it.

 

-Pansy Parkinson

 

 

Harry,

 

You have always been a son to me, dear. I know it goes without saying, but if I learned anything from the war, it’s that telling people what they mean to you is a privilege, and something we should do as often as we can. So, and I don’t mean to be sappy love, I know you have big plans for tonight, but I simply have to tell you how proud I am of the man you have become. Happy Birthday, dear. (I’ve sent over some breakfast, though Ginny suggested maybe I shouldn’t have. Terribly sorry if I’ve interrupted anything. Draco’s favorites are in there too, just in case.)

 

-Molly

 

 

Harry!

 

Happy Birthday, you geezer. The Amazon is great, as promised, if a little hot for my taste. I’m sorry to be missing your evening tonight- there truly isn’t anything for it. They want me back at the University this Thursday, and I’ve got very little besides a sunburn to show for my time out here. Personally, I think they’ve been a little outrageous with the timing; researching Amazonian werewolf roots and ancient cures isn’t exactly a picnic, you know.

 

Enough complaining. How’ve you been? How’s Draco? Have you finally bucked up and popped the question? I assume not; someone would have owled, I’m sure. You really ought to do it soon, Harry. If you don’t, he will, and you know how terribly dramatic he is. Just think on it. Send my love to Grandma, would you? I miss her terribly. Oh, and you can have some too, of course.

 

-Teddy Lupin

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

I know you aren’t awake yet. You are never awake before noon. Which is why, in approximately 28 minutes, if you don’t firecall mum (which you won’t) to tell her you’re getting ready, (which you aren’t), I’m coming over there myself to talk some sense into you.

 

You do realize how important today is? Happy Birthday. I’ll see you in precisely 27 minutes.

 

-Rose Granger-Weasley Future Minister for Magic

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

Please be awake when Rose gets to your place, she’s in a scary mood this morning. Happy Birthday, and best of luck, because Mum isn’t much better by the looks of it.

 

-Hugo

 

 

Harry

 

Happy Birthday. I know you are prone to sleeping in, but Draco has been particularly high-strung about this evening and I would really encourage your punctuality this once. I will, unfortunately, be quite busy this evening, but I look forward to seeing you soon. Tea at the manor Wednesday, perhaps? Talk to Draco and get back to me. Oh, and you do look so ever lovely in green. Regards,

 

Narcissa Malfoy
—  Birthday Letters
Where Every Brown Sugar Baby Should Look for Her Next Sugar Daddy and Why

The more the game changes, the more it stays the same.

     Best friend, my first disappointment with sugaring came when I realized that sugaring sites were not for me. When I joined Tumblr, I was surrounded by stories of women who signed up for Seeking Arrangement and within an hour found their inbox full of messages from men willing to hand them the world or at least a pair of So Kate’s on the first date. When I joined Tumblr, I thought that I was going to command large allowances just because I existed, not because I did any work. I learned otherwise.

     My successes with sugaring came when I got very clear about what exactly it was that I was sugaring for. I realized that I couldn’t make myself care about designer goods. They’re pretty, and I loved looking at them on Instagram but dating a man so he could buy me luxury goods just did not seem like a lot of fun. But art supplies? Everything I needed to write a novel and maintain my blog? That sounded much more feasible. As soon as I committed to it, it happened. As soon as I got off the sugaring sites, it happened.  

     As an introvert, I did get off the sugaring sites, but it took me quite a while to get off the internet. I used Tinder to find the three gift daddies that I had. Last month, I went free styling for the first time.   

     There is a general horror around free styling that, trust me, I understand. If I didn’t have to leave my house, I wouldn’t. But I realized a few things. The sugar sites are not set up for you to succeed. We, as sugar babies, are the draw that is used to attract men with money and unrealistic dreams.  

     Do you want to have the perfect relationship? A young, beautiful, smart woman who will hang off your every word and, unlike escorts, will be with you and you alone for a fraction of the price that escorts are demanding? Sign up for a membership with our site at the low price of $39.99/month and become a sugar daddy tonight!

     While this might not be the exact language the sites are using, I guarantee if you go on any of the sugar sites you will see something similar being touted to men.  I also promise that the men that have the real potential to be amazing sugar daddies and give you things you didn’t believe that you could get aren’t on these sites.
     

     And, honey, maybe you haven’t noticed but online dating-sugar or vanilla- is not set up for black women to succeed. I’ll say it once more. You’re far more likely to find the man you’re looking for when you let go of the sugar sites.
So what happens next? Next, you change your mindset. There is one thing that needs adjustment, your attitude, in two different areas. The first is what a sugar daddy looks like. Maybe you don’t have this problem. But I do. I tend to find myself thinking that sugar daddies look a certain way. They’re white and in their 40’s-50’s. Most of them are married. But this isn’t what sugar daddies look like. They can be any age. They can be any race. They can be anywhere. When it’s time to free style, don’t think that if a Black man, an Asian man, a Martian, whatever, approaches you that because they don’t fit in with the idea of what you think an SD looks like you can’t pay any attention to them.

     There will be three types of men that you’ll meet when you go out: cheap men that would like your time and attention for free, men that will simply ask how much you want or make it known that they have no problem paying you, and men that are willing to spend money on you but need some type of connection with you first. Ugh, connection. Don’t you hate that word? Men should just hand us money because we asked for it right? We’re young, we’re beautiful, we’re smart. Just fork over the coins.

     But consider this. How often do you give money to complete strangers because they asked for it? How often have you walked up to an attractive or interesting looking person with $5 that you know you don’t need and said: “here this is for you just because you look cool or like you needed a little help”? Never right? If we were a society where that was the norm homelessness would not be an issue. No, we give our money to people we like, to people that have bettered our lives in some way, to people we trust. But, still. That word-connection. Months and months of dates. Maybe even putting out. That must be what I mean, right? Nope. Not what I mean at all. A connection can be made in 15 minutes or 15 months. It really just depends on how well your personality meshes with his.

     How do you tell these men apart? Let’s build a scenario, shall we? Let’s say you meet a man at a bar. You each talk a bit about who you are and what you do for a living. His job sounds promising. You don’t know exactly how much he makes but when you google it in the bathroom after touching up your lipstick you see that it’s an acceptable amount. He buys you a drink to continue the conversation you’ve already started, but when the night ends, he doesn’t pick up the tab you had started before he sat down. Splenda! Salt! That’s what Tumblr will tell you. I say wait. You spend some time texting. He says he wants to take you out. This is when we find out what kind of man he is by analyzing a few things:


  • Where does he want to meet? TGIFridays or one of the best restaurants/bars in the city. Look at where he wants to take you and why. If he asks you where you want to eat and then shoots it down because it’s overpriced or “just not his scene” you have two options: dig your heels in or run. My first meeting with Bentley took some time to plan because he shot down the restaurants that I chose as not being good enough for a first date. It was a good first sign. 
  • How and what do they order? We know what a man who doesn’t want to spend a lot of money looks like when he orders at a restaurant or bar. He asks if there are any discounts or deals. Asks what’s the best and cheapest drink or food item on the menu. Makes “jokes” about how expensive everything is. 
  • How do they look when you order? A man that asks if you want anything else after you’ve decided what you want is a keeper. A man that asks what you want scans the menu and then asks if you’re sure you want those things or if you’d be happy with something cheaper presents you with two options: to dig your heels in or run.
  • What are they talking to you about? A man that talks about sex as soon as he meets you only wants you for one thing and it ain’t playing cards. Now, if he’s willing to compensate you for that time in a way that you find acceptable, fine. Get your money girl. If you want a man that cares about you as an individual but he can’t stop talking about how well he’s doing on Viagra, you have two options. Dig in or run. I suggest you run, but this is your life, not mine
  • Do they listen when you speak? Do they remember what you said? I got my first laptop from a man who listened when I talked about wanting to write. I got my second laptop and art supplies from a man who listened to my business plan. If they can’t hear you, they can’t help you. 

     When the date is over, look at this man’s behavior. You’ll know if he’s the type of man that you can keep in your life. If he isn’t, let him go. LET HIM GO! Don’t, please friend, don’t hang on to a man because you don’t think that you’ll be able to get another. This game isn’t for the desperate that need quick cash because their life is falling apart. This is going to take time. You’ll find yourself getting dressed up and going out quite a few times before you find a man that you’re willing to stick with. If you understand this from the beginning, that reaching any goal is going to take time, you’ll be far less likely to fail.

     I’d like to give one piece of controversial advice. Do not ask for a gift or token or whatever you want to call it on the first date. Remember what we talked about earlier? About how we don’t give away our hard earned money to strangers or the undeserving? This applies here. And I know, I know. The posts of girls that say they asked for a gift and got one is so much more fun to read than what I’m saying, but here we are best friend, here we are.

     You do have one thing on your side. Men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. Vanilla men know this. They know. I’m going to say it one more time, best friend so it really sinks in. All men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. What’s more, they know that the younger and better looking a woman is, the more they will have to spend. Your job is not to convince a man to spend money on you. He already knows he should. Your job is to separate the men willing to spend from the men not willing to spend by opening up your mouth and talking about what you want. Talk about college and the class that you’re going to be taking, but god isn’t it crazy how expensive books are? Talk about how much you love to write, but your laptop broke. Talk about how you want to get into digital photography but don’t know what camera to get or if you can afford to buy one. Give it a couple weeks. The right man will show up with a laptop, or an iPad, or a book, or a camera or whatever it is you say you need. The wrong man won’t have made it past the first date.

Happy hunting, best friend.

Best friend, be honest, what did you think? Do you think you could ever get off the sugar sites? Go free styling? Do you think my approach makes any sense or is something that could work for you? Leave me a comment and let me know so we can talk about it.

OK, but please consider Trans Spiderman

- That scene in “Civil War” where Peter insists on being called “Spiderman”; not “Spiderling”, or “The Human Spider” (like Tony teased), but “SpiderMAN”

- Tony knows immediately, but doesn’t let Peter know that he knows. Just every once in a while, when Peter finds that he’s low on cash for new binders or hormone treatments, he’ll look in his account and find that a good sum of money has been transferred to him from the Stark account

- Also Tony is more than willing to provide the money needed when or if Peter decides to get top surgery

- Happy is clueless at first. He knows that the new kid is hiding something, but he doesn’t know what exactly. Once Happy confronts Peter about it and Peter tells him Happy is immediately supportive and he instantly sends out a mass email to everyone in Stark industries saying that anyone disrespecting Peter’s gender (or really anyone’s for that matter) will be immediately fired, and he insists on escorting Peter to any Pride marches that he decides to take part in, and he basically vows to go toe-to-toe with anyone who is transphobic towards his spider godson

- Aunt May of course knows (she was one of the first people Peter came out to), and she is more than happy to help her nephew with anything he needs to feel more at home with his gender. Needless to say the night he came home asking her for help with getting ready for homecoming her mind was instantly running a mile a minute with “Oh my god this is it this is the day my little boy is becoming a man oh my god he’s come so far I need to do whatever I can to make sure this night goes perfect I’ll tell him how to slow dance and I’ll get him a corsage for his date and oh shit he’s gonna want to wear a tie with his suit fuck I don’t know how to do a windsor knot Youtube help me”

- Bruh, that scene where Peter is interrogating that one guy and the dude is like “What’s wrong with your voice? I know what a girl sounds like”, and Peter immediately gets upset, yelling “I’M NOT A GIRL I’M A BOY!”


Please feel free to add on with anymore supporting evidence or headcanons

Prompts List

List of prompts that can be requested (w/ or w/o a requested person/character) - [most of these are prompts I found on pinterest in the writing prompts tag - will be adding prompts continuously] - Also, when requesting please take this into consideration: https://fictionpants.tumblr.com/post/167397538527/just-a-quick-note-about-requests

1. “I apologise in advance for the inconvenience my murder is going to have on your life.”

2. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”

3. “Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda.”
“It’s not on anyone’s.”
“No, it’s on mine, just not until next Thursday.”

4. “Hold on, you died.”
“Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

5. “This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.”
“Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”

6. “She’s crying, what do I do?”
“Go comfort her.”
“How do I do that?”
“Start with hugs.”
“With what?”

7. “What’s our exit strategy?”
“Our what?”
“Oh my god, we’re all going to die.”

8. “I’m going to need chicken blood, salt, five candles, and a bottle of vodka.” “Vodka? For the spell?”
“No, that’s just to make me feel better about ripping a hole in the universe.”

9. “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?”
“I don’t know, probably both.”

10. “I saved your lives.”
“How? By stealing our freedom? Our minds? Our identity?”

11. “It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.”

12. “I’m getting really tired of pretending I’m not evil.”

13. “Did you just agree with me?”
“Oh I wish I could take-”
“Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

14. “It’s a long story.”
“You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

15. “I regret a lot of things. Having this conversation tops the list.”

16. “I had a thought.”
“Oh no.”
“I swear it’s a good one this time!’

17. “FBI, open the door!”
“No. It’s cooler when you break in.”

18. “Do you think they remember you?”
“I sure hope not after what I did the last time I was here.”
“What did you do?”
“You’ll find out.”

19. “You look…”
“Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

20. “You scared me!”
“Well, I am naturally terrifying.”

21. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

22. “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that.”
“You’re immortal, and I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that.”

23. “You really have no clue who I am?”
“You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

24. “I am way too sober for this.”

25. “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.”
“That’s what makes me so good at it.”

26. “I don’t think of you as a protector. More like a distraction.”

27. “We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”
“Actually, it’s more like eight.”
“Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”

28. “If you could even comprehend where I’ve come from, you would be terrified of me.”

29. “I saved your life!”
“You pushed me off a building.”

30. “You know we’re not all born with the ability to throw fireballs, right?”

31. “How do we keep getting into these situations?”
“Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

32. “Did you hear that scream?”
“Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”

33. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”
“Yes.”
“What if I just break his nose a little?”

34. “You are remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”

35. “You’re-you’re crushing my spleen.”
“You don’t even know where your spleen is.”

36. “I’m no detective, of course, but I think this dead body might not be alive anymore.”

37. “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.”
“Can I pick?”

38. “The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.”
“I almost died!”
“Ah yes, that was my fondest memory.”

39. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!”
“And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

40. “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!”
“What do you want? A gold star?”

41. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”

42. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-”
“At least a twenty.”

43. “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

44. “Seven billion people in the world, and you’re overreacting because we killed one man.”
“But-”
“Seven. Billion. People. Now quit the complaining and drink your smoothie.”

45. “It’s not my birthday.”
“It’s definitely your birthday.”
“Give me a calendar. It’s not and I will prove it to – oh. Never mind. Happy birthday to me.”

46. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?”
“I’m hovering somewhere in the high thirties.”

47. “I can fix that.”
“I’m calling a professional.”
“I’m a professional.”
“A more professional, professional.”

48. “What’s the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?”
“Those are children. That’s a school.”

49. “I have a concern.”
“Just one?”
“No, but I didn’t think you’d let me speak my piece if I told you how many I actually have.”

50. “Why are you glaring at me?”
“I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.”

51. “If we die, I’m going to spend the rest of our afterlife reminding you that this was all your fault.”
“That’s cool, I wouldn’t mind having company while being a ghost.”

52. “What are you so afraid of?”
“You.”

53. “What is that THING in your backpack?”
“It’s my new pet dragon.”
“Dragons aren’t real!”
“Then why is there one in my backpack?”

54. “I hate the sight of blood.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t kill for a living.”

55. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

56. “Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”
“Oh god, we’re going to die, aren’t we?”
“It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.”
“You absolutely do not.”

57. “I don’t give a damn.”
“You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

58.  “It’ll be easy. You just have to seduce them.”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m about as seductive as a cabbage.”

59. “You’re not as evil as people think you are.”
“No. I’m much worse.”

60. “That’s a terrifyingly accurate drawing of us.”
“It’s almost like I’m good at what I do.”

61. “You have no power over me.”
“You sure about that?”

62. “This isn’t good.”
“How can you tell?”
“See how they’re slowly surrounding us? And they all have guns and knives and I think one guy is carrying a machete?”

63. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
“Actually he’s right in front of you.”

64. “I’m not a thief. I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”

65. “I’m not completely human anymore. Remember that next time you want to punch me in the face.”

66. “Is that blood?”
“No?”
“That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

67. “I never stood a chance, did I?”
“That’s the sad part – you did once.”

68. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

69. “I’m not going to leave you.”

70. “Everything is okay.”

71. “I’m going to protect you.”

72. “I believe in you.”

73. “Do you feel guilty? Like, at all?”
“I don’t have time to feel guilty. And neither do you.”

74. “Stop that!”
“Stop what?”
“Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

75. “What are you doing?”
“…Eating.”
“We’re being held hostage and you decide to raid the kitchen?”
“They didn’t say the fridge was off limits.”

76. “Is that a dead body?”
“Maybe?”
“It is. I can see it right in front of me.”
“I promise I’ll clean it up before dinner.”

77. “If we’re going to get out of here, we’re going to have to work together. After that, we can go back to killing each other.”
“Oh, fine.”

78. “That’s not funny.”
“I thought it was.”
“You don’t count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.”

79. “Do we need wine?”
“No, I need wine, you need to put your pants back on.”
“But life is so freeing without them.”
“Pants. On. Now.”

80. “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

81. “I feel like I’m being stabbed.”
“How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

82. “Will you be quiet?”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“Well stop thinking so loud.”

83. “Did you get my note?”
“Of course I got it. You taped it to my forehead while I was sleeping.”

84. “You’re a psychopath.”
“I prefer creative.”

85. “Why do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?”
“Because you’re in shock.”
“That doesn’t mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze.”

86. “Oh no.”
“What is it? What happened? Who died?”
“I think I just felt an emotion.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me.”

87. “When all this is over, I want my sanity back.”

88. “That’s definitely not true.”
“Of course it is. I read it on Wikipedia.”

89. “You forgot me.”
“It was an accident.”

90. “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?”
“Yes.”

91. “I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.”
“You are the WORST at this comfort thing.”

92. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”
“What?”
“Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

93. “Look, if you want to conjure some demon spawn from the great beyond, that’s all fine and dandy. Just wait for me to leave before you start.”

94. “Just calm down!”
“My leg just dematerialised and you want me to calm down!?”

95. “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit ton of calories.”
“Who even says that?”
“Me. Just now.”

96. “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner, having another existential crisis.”

97. “Oh my god, I had the exact same dream!”
“Really?”
“Are you crazy? Of course I didn’t.”

98. “I need to go de-stress.”
“Where are you going?”
“To demolish the living room.”

99. “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

100. “I’m bitter and complicated. It’s one of my charms.”
“I don’t think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”

101. “I don’t know what the protocol is for revealing your secret identity so, hi? Surprise?”

102. You always think you know what you’d do when faced with the end of the world. Me? I went home and took a nap.

103. “Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of physics?”

104. “I’d hug you right now, but you’re covered in evidence. And I also really don’t want to.”
“Evidence is a really nice euphemism for blood, gore and guts.”
“You’re totally missing the point. Do you know how pissed I am at you right now?”

105.  “This way is more efficient.”
“This way is going to get us killed.”

106. “You’re not my favourite person today.”
“I’m not your favourite person on any day.”

anonymous asked:

Mimi, do you know why #랩몬스터 is trending on twitter?

Korean ARMYs trended the hashtag of Rap Monster (171102) to show him their gratefulness.

Originally posted by chimcheroo

And of course, we should appreciate this man too. Did you hear how even Google Korea manager said he wanted to learn leadership from BTS’ Namjoon? Cho Yong Min said“Rap Monster is the leader of BTS. He doesn’t know me but I know him. I want to learn leadership from him; learn how one can lead a group so well.” (Source X) #Even leaders look up to him #Born to rule # #A KING

Originally posted by ksjknj

AND YES NAMJOON IS JUST THAT WONDROUS. He is a transcendent leader. When it’s good news he shares the honors with the boys and ARMYs but when it’s bad news, he takes all the criticism by himself. So we should too, shield this man from the people bashing him for his looks (because yes some people are just that ignoble) but Namjoon is way up there for them to reach. 

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

And IDK about them but using my TWO eyes all I see is a perfect specimen! 

Originally posted by affectionforbangtan

There will never be BTS without Monie. If BTS was a miracle it’s Namjoon who started it. As a man, as an artist, as a leader, and as a human, he is always trying to become better in all of those. We always talk about how the other members grew up but Namjoon did too. He is the kind who learns from his mistakes. The kind who is willing to help the world. The kind who made both BTS and ARMY closer. My respect and love for this man can’t be expressed with words. You know this humble man said he is not taking anything he is given by ARMY for granted so let’s support him and never take his greatness as given neither.

Originally posted by gdiminyoongi

Thor: Ragnarok Impressions

I really liked Thor: Ragnarok. I’ll put my cards on the table: I am probably going to like movies in this shared Marvel universe more than the average bear. It seems that the more pissed I get at Marvel as a whole (a long story), the better their movies get. 2017 dropped three of my favorites, as well as a non-MCU bonus in the form of Logan. I’m a happy nerd.

I also don’t really want to go over the high points again. Every nerd and critic has already done that. So instead, I decided to share a handful of entirely personal thoughts I had about the movie during and after. Here goes.

Chris Hemsworth did not just become funny
Inexplicably, I’ve heard a lot of chatter that Thor is finally funny in Ragnarok. I’m wondering where these people have been for the rest of the films, or for Chris Hemsworth’s career. Thor has been the most comedically versatile regular character in the MCU for a while. Yes, more so than Iron Man, who rarely veers from his arrogant-playboy routine, and more so than Cap, who relies on his man-out-of-time shtick for laughs. He’s even funnier than any of the Guardians. All of those characters are entertaining and play off each other well, but Hemsworth can do it all himself. He’s able to simultaneously make Thor a lovable lug and poke fun at his tough guy image. It isn’t that he becomes funny in Ragnarok, it’s that Taika Waititi takes off the cuffs and allows him free rein.

Did they just actually move Loki’s character forward?
NOTE: HUGE SPOILERS IN THIS SECTION
Tom Hiddleston has always been a gift to the MCU. For one thing, no two actors in the franchise play off each other as well as Hemsworth and Hiddleston. For another, he somehow makes the “Snake” character work. Most of the time, when someone continually changes sides (Miles Teller in the Divergent series, for instance), you wonder why the other characters don’t just off them and get it over with. By comparison, Marvel has done an excellent job over multiple directors of maintaining Loki’s character and relationship to Thor in ways that let us see why the God of Thunder keeps the God of Mischief around.
In this particular movie, Loki is literally given the task of destroying Asgard to stop Hela, and seems to have mended his relationship with his brother. But…did he take the Cosmic Cube at the end? Of course he did. Not only can I see no other way he could have gotten onto the ship to escape, but it actually makes sense. Otherwise, the Infinity Stone inside would have been left adrift at the site where the world it was known to be on just exploded, for anyone to amble along and pick up. That may not be Loki’s motivation, but Thanos did promise to hunt him down if he didn’t bring him the Cube. And according to descriptions of the unreleased Infinity War trailer shown at Disney’s D23 event, one scene pictures a kneeling Loki…handing Thanos the cube.
If you think Loki’s constant betrayals are getting old, there’s another wrinkle: perhaps he agreed to serve Thanos again in order to spare the survivors of Asgard.

The movie definitely delivered on the title
Going in, I did not expect the film would follow the comics, in which, last I read, Ragnarok really happened and Asgard as we knew it was destroyed. In fact, the movie followed that pretty closely, with the exception of Loki not being the one to initiate the apocalypse. Asgard is gone, and Thor is getting ready to re-home his people on earth, similar to the comics Thor. This seems like a pretty bold move for the movies, but really, the Thor series and character were too tethered to Asgard, in many ways. Ragnarok was obviously meant as a clear break with the dour and serious tone of the previous Thor movies, and severing the character’s ties to Asgard was a necessary step. Also, I know critics aren’t supposed to like final battles, but that one was pretty epic. I don’t recall a giant green monster fighting Fenrir in the original myths.

Throwing the cast together really works
There’s not much to elaborate on here. Tessa Thompson kicks major ass and is mercifully not set up much as a love interest. Loki and Thor work as well as they always do. The Hulk and Banner fit surprisingly well, with Mark Ruffalo playing off the proceeding as himself as well as he does when he’s CGi-ed up. Karl Urban seems to have had a lot of scenes cut behind those meaningful looks, but his role works fairly well. Idris Elba’s Heimdall finally gets more to do than stand there looking serious, and it’s about damn time. Several movies could easily be made out of this group. Even Benedict Cumberbatch’s brief appearance as Doctor Strange is fun. The only letdown is no appearance by Jamie Alexander’s Sif. It would have been great to see her and Valkyrie get into a drunken arm-wrestling match. I also need to mention that Thompson’s inclusion pisses off racists, which is awesome.

Marvel’s villains keep improving
I’ve never been on the all-Marvel’s-villains-suck bandwagon, but there’s no question 2017 has seen their best ones yet. The Vulture from Spider-Man still takes the prize, but Cate Blanchett’s Hela is deliciously dark, and Jeff Goldblum’s deliciously devious Grandmaster is a treat. It’s honestly hard for me to see how Thanos could top any of 2017’s baddies.

Taika Waititi!
He can do no wrong. Everybody run out and see Hunt for the Wilderpeople and What We Do in the Shadows, right now. I wouldn’t whine if they had him back for the next film.

So I was searching for writing ideas and I found this prompt :

“ Write a story that follows the life of someone who is always looking for their next love, but does not work on trying to love themselves.”

Do you mean Tony Stark

Counting Orgasms

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Type: Smut, overstimulation, multiple orgasms

Plot: You learn your lesson, a lesson about never lying. To never lie about how good your boyfriend is in bed.

Originally posted by wonhobe

I couldn’t do it. Desperate moans, fingers working vociferously at my clit. Images of my boyfriend painted in my mind. I just could not do it. No matter what I tried. A bath, a sexy movie, listening to my boyfriend’s music. Nothing worked better than his touch. And he deprived me of it recently. I just couldn’t cum without him.

I was driven mad by this. Entirely desperate for such an unobtainable release. I knew he was the only one whom could grant this, and I resented him so much for denying it. Sure, he was busy. But how busy can a man be to deprive his girlfriend of her own basic needs? I needed to vent before a fight brewed. So, I did just that.

“Y/N… Why don’t you just talk to him about it?” My best friend confided in me. We were face timing, and I was begging for a solution to such a peculiar problem.

My eyes widened, “No! Are you kidding! If I were to talk to him about this he would just write me off as being horny and annoying, not sexy and needy.”  I snapped suddenly at my friend, my own sexual tension, and frustration beginning to escape through words.

Her eyes stared at me for a moment, a smile erupting on her face, “You are so sexually frustrated Y/N.” She exclaimed, laughing to the point of tears welling in her eyes.

I rolled your eyes, finding a small laugh bubbling up within you due to hearing her’s. I sighed, “It’s not funny, okay? He hasn’t done anything with me for, like, 2 weeks. I’m dying over here.” I whined, pouting at the joke of it.

My friend snickered, “Is it because you can’t get him up anymore?” She asked deviously, making me gasp immediately.

“What? No! That’s not it at all!” I defended myself, taken aback by her question. I had wondered about this for the past 2 weeks, but soon enough came to the conclusion that it wasn’t my fault, but rather his.

“Then why on earth would your boyfriend not want to fuck you?” My friend challenged, wiggling her eyebrows. I laughed with her at this, shrugging my shoulders.

“I don’t know… He says he’s busy but when he is home he doesn’t do anything. I’ve been trying so damn hard. It feels like he doesn’t want me.” I relished in my own pity party, a frown overtaking my expression.

“Aww, Y/N… I’m sure it’s not your fault! You’re beautiful, okay? I bet he just feels awkward because he knows he isn’t fucking you right.” At this, I laughed. I laughed so hard that I snorted, catching both me and my friend by surprise.

“Come on though, Y/N… Spill it, he isn’t good in bed, is he? Because if he was, he’d be fucking you every night. Hell, if I were gay I would too.” My friend announced, making my laughter never cease to give up, “Come on! Just admit it.” She egged on.

“Okay, okay. I mean, the last time we did anything he couldn’t even make me cum.” I chimed in. My friend’s eyes lit up at this, “I knew it! He can’t make you cum, can he?” She exclaimed.

I went with the sarcasm of the situation and nodded, laughing with her, “Nope. He can’t.” I lied, making her raise her fists and cheer, “I knew it!”

“I can’t?” Yoongi’s voice cut through the happy aura of the environment, my friend going silent, holding back laughter from the awkward situation.

Keep reading

9

Twelve Days of Twelve, Day 7: Favorite Scene [2/2]

“If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, you know, maybe there’s no point in any of this at all, but it’s the best I can do, so I’m going to do it. And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. You’re going to die too, some day. How will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand, is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help, a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?”

Neighbour AU

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Laurent’s neighbours having a loud argument every weekend. Laurent does not pay an exorbitant amount of rent just so that he can be woken up at three in the morning every Saturday because Jokaste is angry at Damen again. It’s bad enough that he knows their names without having ever introduced himself.

And of course, the fights are always followed by even louder make-up sex, as if he needs a weekly reminder that he himself isn’t getting any.

Tonight, it seems, Damen has been locked out of his apartment.

Keep reading

Green Lace (Grayson)

** REQUESTED ** 

- You’re shopping for some new lingerie and you decide to show it off to not only Grayson but a little bit of the entire store too. Grayson doesn’t like this very much. Not at all.

⚤ - CONTAINS SMUT 

Your hands skimmed over the thin lace material of your see through bra and panties that covered your small frame. You couldn’t help the small smile creeping over your lips. It was a forest green colour, in the spirit of Christmas, and also Grayson’s favorite color. 

You unlocked the door of the Victoria’s Secret change room and poked your head out. Grayson stood in the doorway down the hall, his large arms folded over his chest. He looked bored and rather irritated. You had been dragging him from store to store for most of the day and you could visibly see he was mentally (and probably physically) checked out. You stepped out of the change room all the way and Grayson stood upright when he saw you. His eyes went wide before narrowing. You could see his jaw tense and soon he was stalking towards you. He looked around at a few other people that had noticed you too, particularly a boy around your age that couldn’t keep his eyes off you. 

“Are you crazy?” Grayson asked through gritted teeth. 

“What?” You frowned. You expected a far different reaction.

“I wanted to show you." 

"Yeah me and everyone else.” Grayson said with clenched teeth. He gripped your hips and walked you back into the change room. 

“Gray…I-" 

Your body fell limp, embarrassment and frustration beginning to consume you. He obviously didn’t like it. You reached to take the garments off but stopped when Grayson’s hand caught yours.

"Leave it on. I’m going to the front to pay for it. Let’s go." 

Keep reading

  • you: magnus dragged alec into that photobooth
  • me, an intellectual: there was only one man holding back in those photos and that man was NOT alexander lightwood

✰   —  —  —  THE GOOD PLACE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  hi, guys! i’m broken.  ’
‘  send nude pics of your heart to me.  ’
‘  man, repressing your feelings is great.  ’
‘  i just want to sit and stare at nothing and silently scream for the rest of time.  ’
‘  birth is a curse and existence is a prison.  ’
‘  it’s ancient history? it was happening until twenty seconds ago.  ’
‘  one of the perks of living alone is that i get to just walk around naked.  ’
‘  i’ll miss you too, you sexy skyscraper.  ’
‘  you were already at almost-maximum hotness, but now you look like a sexy, tan rapunzel. ugh, the dream.  ’
‘  well, hooking up with someone with the exact same name, it is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy… i could be into it.  ’
‘  so far, i’m the best student. i’m gonna be the velociraptor.  ’
‘  i feel like ‘friends’ in season eight, out of ideas and forcing joey and rachel together, even though it made no sense.  ’
‘  i once got lost on an escalator, so i’m not exactly christopher columbus.  ’
‘  we’ve been through this thousands of times. i mean, can you… just chill out? is that possible?  ’
‘  you deserve to be happy because you are an impressive, thoughtful, and special person… not to mention, you have a rockin’ bod.  ’
‘  any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. that’s how we got beyonce.  ’
‘  because of reasons. there are reasons! they exist and i don’t want to explain them right now.  ’
‘  i’m a canyon… full of poo-poo.  ’
‘  they are a couple and i am a third part of that couple.  ’
‘  it’s suddenly very important that i get drunk.  ’
‘  you got dreams in life? that’s lit.  ’
‘  be nicer to yourself.  ’
‘  how can i say no? …can i say no?  ’
‘  i don’t have a house. i live in a boundless void.  ’
‘  i have no idea what’s going on, but everyone is talking and i should too.  ’
‘  be nicer to yourself.  ’
‘  i’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kid’s menu. what a stupid age i am!  ’
‘  is this a game? i go first. i call blue!  ’
‘  aw, man. i wanted to push that button. not cool, dude.  ’
‘  we know everything. i don’t understand much of it, but you know, i know it.  ’
‘  that was my first time as a fashion ‘don’t’ and i did not care for it.  ’
‘  i’m just a girl, towering over a boy, asking him to admit he loves me.  ’
‘  hey there hot stuff, can i get you a cup of coffee?  ’
‘  do you have any feelings like that for me again now?  ’
‘  no, no, no, dude, dude, dude, you don’t have to explain yourself. we are on the same page.  ’
‘  i am revved up to learn, man. my brain is horny!  ’
‘  i used to think about how it’s weird they don’t make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs.  ’
‘  i felt bad about what i did. it was a weird feeling. not used to it. didn’t love it.  ’
‘  yeah, i love you. ugh, that’s embarrassing. i feel so itchy.  ’
‘  go fork yourself, you mean giraffe.  ’
‘  who needs a soulmate anyway? my soulmate will be… books.  ’
‘  what do we do? panic? freak? i usually panic, but i am happy to freak!  ’
‘  we’re gonna have assignments and quizzes and papers… it’s gonna be so much fun!  ’
‘  i’m in a perfect utopia and i have a stomachache.  ’
‘  i need to step outside for some air. and… i will not be back. for many days.  ’
‘  the point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained.  ’
‘  yeah, dude. i’m not a monster… anymore.  ’
‘  i’m good. just hang out with her and name constellations after each other or whatever it is nerds do. i’m fine on my own.  ’
‘  i’m in this. we’re a team.  ’
‘  she makes the bass drop… in my heart.  ’
‘  is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? because it’s only kind of working.  ’
‘  ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.  ’
‘  okay, that’s really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.  ’
‘  yeah, mm-hmm, everything is fine, it’s okay, yeah. i’m fine. so, it’s all fine.  ’
‘  look away! everybody look away. i’m going to keep watching, but you guys look away.  ’
‘  ugh, talking about your feelings is the worst.  ’
‘  i’ve been keeping a secret from you… about you. the thing is, it’s not even harming you and if i tell you i feel like it might harm you. so, uh, ethically speaking, i don’t think i have to tell you.  ’
‘  has anyone ever told you what a drag you are?  ’
‘  ‘bearer of bad news’? uh, i think you mean ‘bad news bear’.  ’
‘  honestly, the best move is to get another dude and just go to town. rebound guy.  ’
‘  but i am happy for them! i am! i am! am i? i am! i am not. i am not. i am not that. i am not happy for them.  ’
‘  i totally get it. i mean, he’s a ding dong, but also a straight hottie.  ’
‘  you want to hear his side? oh, no, no, no. that’ll only slow things down.  ’
‘  no! right? no, it felt like a no when i was doing it.  ’
‘  here’s the thing, i’m nice to you and you’re mean to me. there’s something wrong about that, but i can’t put my finger on it.  ’
‘  how am i doing? oh, well, you know… stomach’s in knots, i’m stress-grinding my teeth, and it feels like i’m being suffocated.  ’
‘  just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun.  ’
‘  just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun… just like i do when someone starts talking about their kids.  ’
‘  how do i put this delicately… it’s all stupid garbage!  ’
‘  i’m sorry i dragged you into this.  ’
‘  i’m sorry that i never did laundry… and that i waited until you were about to do yours and secretly tossed mine into the basket to trick you into doing it.  ’
‘  that’s a very, very bad idea. don’t be yourself!  ’
‘  great. yet again, it’s everyone against me because everyone except me is an idiot. why am i the only person who clearly sees what’s going on here?  ’

7

HALLOWEEN MEME | 7 gothic female characters

Gwen Conliffe
“It is said there is no sin in killing a beast, only in killing a man. But where does one begin and the other end.”

Edith Cushing 
“Ghosts are real, that much I know. I’ve seen them all my life…”

Mina Murray/Harker
“How can you call this science? Do you think Madam Curie would invite such comparisons? Really! “ 

Vanessa Ives
“She called me her Little Scorpion, and only said my name aloud once, before she was murdered, tied to that tree outside. I’ve never liked trees since. Not one.”

Lucy Westenra
“It’s my wedding gift to you. Don’t worry about spoiled little Lucy. I’ll be all right.”

Brona Croft/Lily Frankenstein
“Don’t we make a beautiful couple, ‘thee and me’? Shall we wander the pasture and recite your fucking poetry to the fucking cows. You are blind… like all other men.”

Lucille Sharpe
“ But the horror… The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”