how can i recover from this

Today is special.

Why?

Because today is the 4th anniversary of a group of boys who started from the bottom and climb, and are still climbing as high as they can.

These boys are Bangtan Boys also known as BTS.

Originally posted by sannal2054

For me BTS is one of the most special groups to exist.

Because not many groups are willing to tell their stories.

BTS does not have to rely on buying song after song after song. After all, they have the freedom to produce, experiment, write and create the art they want to create. It is amazing to see a group of people who write in an industry where many companies opt out of letting their idols write and create and instead choose to mostly buy songs, giving their artists minimal freedom in many cases. BTS, however, does have that freedom and uses it to their full advantage.

Originally posted by meandmyopinionss

Look at the solo songs or any of their solo work as an example.

Rap monster tackles society, Illness, pressures and so much more in his songs. He shows worry for the new generations and generations to come faced with injustice, anxiety and depression. He worries about his members and shows understanding and compassion. In fact, he uses lyrics as an expression of his inner struggle and philosophical thoughts and in turn opens conversations that are very much needed in society. He works hard to communicate with all the fans and in general, he works hard to communicate with people. He does not just show interest in his fans but in society as a whole.

Originally posted by momo-foam

Suga too wanted his voice to be heard. He said it himself, he was not content with just rapping. He wanted people to listen to what he has to say too. And definitely, Yoongi has a lot to say. At first, he seemed like such a closed person, but his mixtape gave everyone such an amazing insight into his mind. From the depression, to self hate, to allusions to suicide and social anxiety he bears his soul to all, in turn trying to help others realise that they are not the only ones going through a hard time. And if he continues to recover(because I believe that even if one gets better, some demons still remain and always have to be fought)  then hopefully so can we. And also, how can one not love a man who reveals a song called ‘first love’ only to reveal that his first love was his piano, when that is such a beautiful and sincere confession.

Originally posted by junghosyub

J-Hope’s mixtape is one I definitely cannot wait to hear. Because I feel like he is a member who also has a lot he wants to say without any constraints. Hoseok ’s song ‘mama’ just showed how amazing he is as a person. He had a solo song in the Wings album, like all the members and he chose t write a loving and sincere song thanking his mum for all that she has ever done for him. For how she loves and supports him in this difficult path. He seems to struggle with feeling like he is not good enough. As a member or son. I hope that’s not true. He also shows his emotion through his dance.

Originally posted by gdiminyoongi

Not these three members show us the most of what they are feeling through writing and producing. However, the other 4 are also working hard on developing as writers, amazing sure to develop and also express themselves.

Taehyung showed his inner turmoils and  guilt over an unknown action or feeling in stigma as he apologise see to his brother and sister and even worked with Namjoon to produce a new song, showing a different side of him, as well as a different singing technique deciding to tell different stories with his voice and songs. Taehyung is also proving himself to be a very good actor, telling more than than just his story.

Originally posted by pjkook

Jungkook, in my opinion, seems to struggle most with expressing himself. And I believe that that is normal. After all from a young age he has been a trainee with means that most things kids get to experience such as relationships, getting in trouble, love, sex and more this teen was not allowed to have. He was too busy being 'manufactured p’, as some may say, to be the perfect idol. However, since he grew up in the public eye for quite a long time we see how his story is his progress as he tries to gain confidence and express himself asking Namjoon for help with his songs 'Begin’ as well as by releasing amazing covers.

Originally posted by jeonity

Jimin, like Hoseok shows his emotions through dance but also has shown us how he can communicate through his vocal colour and his emotional expression. He worked on 'LIE’ showed confusion, loss and heartbreak as he is 'caught in a lie’ and while we do not know the reason for these emotions we can appreciate them better and can relate them to us and our situations.

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Lastly, Jin is the member, who I believed was the least able to express himself, not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t have the opportunity to showcase his stories as much. However, his solo song 'Awake’ is a true gift. It tells the story of a boy, not a man but a boy, who comes to the heartbreaking belief that yes, he may never be able to reach the top like others but he will continue to work just as hard and give his all to be better and better and better. It shows his loyalty and passion and that is what I love about Jin. But I would really love to see Jin tell other, different stories through acting.

Originally posted by catchsuga

So as you see they all have something to say and they all try their best to say it.
and let’s not forget all the amazing choreographies

And let’s not forget just how close their bond is

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Originally posted by pkjmnie

Originally posted by yoongiski

So thank you Kim Seokjin for always making us laugh, for being so kind and caring.

Thank you Min Yoongi for opening up to us and inspiring  us

Thank you Jung Hoseok for being a true sunshine, giving strength to all

Thank you Kim Namjoon for working so hard to create and for always choosing BTS and freedom of speech

Thank you Park Jimin for being so supportive, always being there for your me,beds, hugging them and making them feel supported and loved

Thank you Kim Taehyung for showing us your different sides and working so hard at writing.

Thank you Jeon Jungkook for showing us all your different talents and inspiring us to try new things.

Thank You BTS for being a part of out loves.

Thank you to all the staff for working so hard for our boys success, be it makeup lighting or anything else.

Thank you to all the managers, the CEO and anyone else helping them on their journey.

Thank you to the parents and family of the members for giving birth to such amazing, kind and talented people.

Originally posted by trashoferverything

Originally posted by lostinbangtan

As always, I hope BTS is healthy both physically and mentally and  that they know we are here for them and that we will always love and support them.

Originally posted by allforbts

BTS is already perfect as is and it is  we, ARMYs that have to keep replaying these boys because they do so much for us. They say and create so much for us. BTS is kind, thoughtful, they love their fans, show respect to all and are extremely humble, not taking what they have for granted but rather strive forward to improve.

Originally posted by jhopeloviu

So thank you BTS for being BTS

I hope you will remain together for very long.

I hope there will be no serious drama between you.

And I hope that we can stand together, BTS and ARMYs for many years to come.

If we can’t understand we will try to understand your problems. So please do not push yourselves and harm yourselves. We do not want that under any circumstances.

Originally posted by fullfangirling27

I’m so proud of being an ARMY.

Originally posted by btstaehyunged

So thank you and happy anniversary

Thank you for reading

4

midweek therapy sessions pt 4

I am in my own Harry Potter AU hell.

And just because I can:

“Dad…” 

Malfoy looked up from his desk, quill poised over the parchment as his son hovered by the study door. Aware that he was frowning, Draco lifted his expression into something more neutral. He was vaguely aware of his own father always frowning whenever he’d tried to talk to him as a boy, and he didn’t want Scorpius to one day think the same about him.

“Come in, come in. Shut the door, you’ll let the heat out.” 

The Greengrass estate was a crumbling ruin compared to Malfoy Manner, with only half the library and none of the artifacts Draco had spent the last few years archiving and putting safely away behind spelled glass. But for now it was home, chilly stone walls and all.

“Did you want something?”

“Yes.” Scorpius replied, pausing to tug at the hem of his dark shirt. There’s still a bruise under his eye, faded to be sure, but the mere presence of it made Draco’s heart skip a beat. When he’d seen Severus Potter crawling out of the rubble, face covered in blood and no sign of his own son, he’d known terror like no other.

And Draco Malfoy was intimately familiar with the machinations of terror. He’d been hugged by it once.

“Well,” he prompted, setting aside his work entirely and giving his full attention to his son. “What is it?”

“I want my friends to come visit.”

Draco blinked. Whatever he’d been expecting, it wasn’t that. “Your…friends?”

“Albus Potter and Rosie Granger-Weasley. I would like them to come stay.”

Draco blinked again. Later he’d laugh—somewhat despairingly into a decanter of fire brandy—at the absurdity of the notion that his boy, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, was best friends with a Potter and the hybrid off-spring of a Granger Weasley, but the threat of impeding hysterics was quelled under the defiant gaze of his son, narrow chin lifting at some unspoken challenge. 

“I see. For how long?”

“A…a week…maybe two…They’re going to France for the Quiditch Cup Primaries…” he glanced down and Draco spied the curled up parchment hidden up his sleeve. “So it wouldn’t be for long.”

Draco glanced at his desk, to the fireplace, then back to his son. “I don’t…”

I want my friends…friendshow often had Astoria lamented his lack of playmates as a child, how often had she fretted that Scorpius’ only interaction had been with adults—or books, or enchanting his own toys for someone to play with. And how quickly had Scorpius’ face crumpled at the utterance of two simple syllables. 

“…know if two weeks would be wise, given your mother’s health. She’s still recovering from the move. But I shall discuss it with her, and see what can be done.”

Scorpius stilled, the beaming smile on his face reigned in to something calmer, even now, not wanting to get his hopes up too much. “Thank you. For what it’s worth, we will be good.”

Draco snorted at that, remembering the last time a Malfoy, a Potter and a Granger and a Weasley had been together at their age. “Somehow I doubt it. Go on off you go, go see what your mother is up to. She’s enjoying having you home.”

“And I am enjoying being here,” Scorpius replied, in that curiously courteous and stiff way of speaking he’d always had, even as an infant learning his words. “I am happy to be here, with you, and mother.”

“I’m…very glad to hear it.” Draco replied, unsure what else he was supposed to say to such an open admission said so politely like one was discussing the weather. “Now go on, off you go, I need to finish this manuscript before I lose the thought.”

“You’ll talk to mother though, wont you?” Scorpius pressed from his space by the door. “You’ll ask…”

“Yes, yes.” Draco waved a hand, “I’ll ask if the Potter spawn can come stay with us. Just for a little bit. To say thank you for…everything.”

Reassured, Scorpius left, closing the door behind himself with a firm click. 

Draco waited several more moments, counting to a hundred before opening up the top desk of his drawer and pulling out his correspondence folder, flipping through them until he found the appropriate manila envelope, writing the address of the Ministry Neatly to the front. 

Clearing his throat politely, he composed himself, then tapped it to life with his wand.

“Hello Potter,” he spat with a vicious familiar glee, unable to keep from laughing, “I’m not sure which one of us is going to be more surprised by this turn of events, but I swear to gods if you break my son’s heart by saying no, I will personally send you a red Howler on the hour every hour till the day one of us dies. Now, about dates, the last week in June works well for us…”

  • me: my whole personality is built around my trauma and all of my issues can be traced back to how i've been treated. i've developed multiple mental disorders and i suffer from my trauma everyday, which is why i most likely will never fully recover. i can't even begin to describe how it makes me feel.
  • also me: trauma? what trauma? OHH RIGHT LOL THAT THING HAHAH IT WASN'T EVEN THAT BAD I'M JUST BEING A LIL SHIT

about shiro not backing keith’s story in bom: i think there’s other factors that a lot of people overlook. namely, the fact that shiro’s response isn’t just him reacting to an isolated incident–its him finally putting together the pieces after a long time of dealing with constant doubt and concern. because he knows something’s up with keith. in season 2, he’s the only one that does. on two separate occasions, he takes keith aside and tries to talk to him, to ask him what’s wrong, to try and get him to open up. and every time keith shuts him out? you can see the fear on shiro’s face, can see that he feels like they’re slowly drifting apart and he’s losing keith

these two strike me as friends who probably used to tell each other everything. so the fact that keith is refusing to talk now, that he’s forcing this distance between them? shiro doesn’t know what to think. and when he sees keith has this alien knife and is maybe part galra? maybe isn’t even from earth at all? shiro is very quickly finding out that this person he’s very close to, someone who he thought he knew everything about, is quite literally becoming alien. his best friend is suddenly a stranger, and he’s questioning whether he ever even knew him at all  

looking at shiro’s face here, he looks just as panicked as keith. despite how good he is at improvising and acting, he doesn’t even have it in him to scrape together an excuse or cover story. he’s genuinely shocked, and just blurts the words out without thinking. “I…I don’t know”–he hesitates, stumbles. he’s seeing the person he thought he was really close to in a whole new light, and he doesn’t know how to handle it

and keith? when he’s down on the ground, the first thing he says is “Shiro, you know me.” becuase he’s trying desperately to bridge that gap, to make shiro see–to prove that, even if keith’s going through some shit, even if he doesn’t know who he himself is, he hasn’t changed. the person shiro knew is still the same. 

also, look at shiro’s face after that exchange. that doesn’t look like someone who just sold out or distrusts their friend. he takes the time to look at keith and kinda check in, to see how vulnerable and scared he looks (scared because he thinks shiro doesn’t trust him)

before he goes right back to glaring and confronting the bom

he then tells keith theyre leaving and starts walking away. he realizes there’s some kind of conflict here between keith and the bom, so he tries to separate them. if he really didnt trust his friend, he would’ve insisted he either 1 hand over the knife or 2 started asking a bunch of personally invasive questions–after all, this is the person that insisted on morally grey mind control interrogation to extract information from a galra. 

instead, he sees how honestly hurt and confused keith looks, so he gives him some space and tries to quickly remove him from the situation 

and when keith insists on staying? shiro’s worried look in the background there? even if he doesn’t understand what’s been going on with keith all this time, he’s clearly concerned, clearly cares. he backs off a bit and let’s keith say his piece, because he realizes just how much all this means to him. shiro doesn’t interfere again until after he hears keith’s life will be on the line, and immediately tries to get him out of there 

he goes right up to keith’s side when he tries to reason with him, and we get a repeat of that shoulder touch thing these two do so much. shiro especially does this to keith a lot, and it honestly seems like a kind of grounding thing. he reaches out to keith, tries to tell him that whatever’s going on his life isn’t worth it, holds onto him to offer some kind of comfort. the way shiro tries to convince him here reminds me a lot of that thing joaquim said in an interview, about how “shiro is sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check.” shiro very much tries to do that here, sees that keith is angry and upset and tries to keep him from making a reckless decision. 

was shiro really taken aback and hurt initially? i think so, yes. but once he kinda has a bit of time to recover and think things through he’s still thinking of keith and trying to help him as best he can–this is also why he doesn’t try to stop him again until it’s absolutely necessary, because he respects keith’s volition and understands the importance of that autonomy. when push comes to shove, regardless of the situation, shiro still steps up to protect keith 

I’m sorry that you hurt and I’m sorry that no one can really tell how bad it is some days. You make mistakes and while it seems like you can never recover from it right now just know that it will turn out alright. In ten years you’ll be 29 and you will look back and realize how strong you were to keep going, to keep living this life. I’m sorry your heart is broken. I love you.

I’m almost fully recovered from top surgery and the first summer that I can be outside shirtless is heading our way. Testosterone and top-surgery did their jobs, now it’s my turn. I want to improve my posture and regain the weight I lost last year, while trying to work on my figure. I’m not fond of the hip dysphoria that showed up, but the only person who can do anything about it is me, so let’s see how far I get. I’m not good at keeping motivated for sports especially when depression shows up, but I will be fucking proud of myself if I manage to push through.

10

Luna draws a graph from her debut days and opens up about her ups and downs. (”I was told I must never sing again”)

“I’m sure you wanted to give everything up, if you suffered from vocal cord nodules. What made you decide to do musicals again?” 

I thought I mustn’t lose out to the vocal cord nodules. How dare the vocal cord nodules mess with me and stop my career? No. I can overcome this illness. So, I overcame it through singing. (…) It hasn’t fully recovered yet, but it’s slowly became better.

No, reading/creating dark fiction to deal with ptsd or other mental illness is not just re-traumatising selfharm

Apparently not typing this is costing me sleep because I can’t stand people being this aggressively wrong on the internet and actively harming other people’s treatment because they’re a fuck wit who thinks their feelings are more true than medical research and other people’s personal experiences.

1. I’m going to upfront state if someone’s re-traumatising themselves using dark fiction they are DOING IT WRONG.

This is why the variety of warnings exist. This is why tags exist. We’ve created a space in which the viewing experience can be more informed than that of the average book or tv show explicitly to protect people and allow them to inform their viewing experience. Hell we even broke down rape and sexual assault tags to cover multiple varieties of these things to make sure people were as safe as they could get.

While objectively rape, non-con and dub-con  are all rape tags, it’s not about softening that it’s rape, it’s about classifying the type of rape or grade of content so someone can inform their viewing experience. Can you senseless fucks please stop insisting it’s claiming these things aren’t rape. Two seconds of googling the tags would tell you up front they’re all rape, they’re just differentiating the variety of rape so people can inform their viewing experience and not be triggered.

For people who claim to be fighting for victims you sure fucking love actively removing things victims have to protect themselves.

2. Shipping to cope isn’t just exposure therapy. God there’s a million fucking ways people can use fiction in recovery and only like two of those are forms of exposure therapy.

The more common usages are:

  • ‘using fiction to break down the events that happened to you into a manageable set up’ because post abuse for a lot of people the thoughts, memories and understanding of the experience are a big old noodly jumble that gets tangled up and eventually fucks with the ability to move past it. By reading or writing about the experience the feelings and thoughts can be de-tangled and ideally turned into something manageable to process.
  • ‘creating a fictional version of events of how you wish things happened’ which is simply a variety of wish fulfilment that can make the experience in the past less painful or otherwise lessen the effects of the trauma sustained.
  •  Seeing a character you love experience what you went through and come out the other side of it possibly recovering or working towards recovery can help enable seeing yourself eventually doing the same. if you can’t conceptualise recovery or surviving, it’s very difficult to move forward, sometimes seeing a character you love doing it is the push needed to think ‘I could do this.’
  • Alternatively, simply seeing a character experience the same thing can just make you feel less alone.
  • Sometimes fictionalising the experience helps separate the experience from you.
  • Sometimes sexualising the experience makes the event less threatening to reduce the fear of future victimisation or take control of existing experiences. This doesn’t diminish the seriousness of the original event, it’s simply how the person chooses to handle this.
  • If you’re unable to express what personally happened to you, sometimes putting those experiences on a character and vicariously experiencing sympathy through the audience or the story can help.
  • And there’s so many more, this is just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. The fact is everyone recovers differently and there’s as many ways of utilising fiction in the process as there are people who’ve experienced some form of sexual assault. As long as they’re not hurting themselves (re-traumatisation), tagging correctly (preventing others from accidentally being triggered), and listening to tags on the fics they read (again preventing re-traumatisation) AND thus not hurting anybody else, it’s legal, it’s safe and it isn’t your business.

3. Not everyone is coping with victimisation. Specifically generalised anxiety disorders and OCD which is also an anxiety disorder are two obvious examples of mental illness that can be treated through fiction.

The biggest thing with an anxiety disorder is that they love to jam random intrusive thoughts into your brain, and it really isn’t as simple as just ignoring them or pretending a douche bag is telling you to do something.

In an anxiety disorder, trying to ignore it will make it worse. Worrying about it will make it worse. Trying not to worry about it, guess what? makes it worse.

Sometimes the only way to ditch a thought is to address it directly.

People who’ve experienced intrusive thoughts about how if they don’t perform the rituals they’ll murder their family, therapists have them write out plans about killing their family to prove that despite what the brain is telling them, they aren’t going to do it. Therapists have handed people knives to prove they can be trusted not to murder people.

With the use of fiction an intrusive thought can be assigned to a characters actions. Fiction can be used as a way to think about an intrusive thought without becoming anxious you might turn the thought into action and by having directly addressed the intrusive thought you can get rid of it.

If you’re anxious about an event, you can write about a character experriencing the worst case scenario to reassure yourself that the thing your scared of is fictional. Or you could write about what you’re worried about going well as supporting evidence you’ll be fine.

Again these are just examples, there are many many more ways people manage mental and physical illness with fiction just as fiction can be used and mental health upkeep after a traumatic event.

And hell, even if you’re not mentally ill and haven’t experienced a traumatic event, if you want to write about a dark scenario, you should. Because not everyone going through these things can write or draw and rely on others to provide content to manage these things.

(LONG long post. click on the title to go to the link)

SHERLOCK WHUMP:

The Breaking Wheel (J_Baillier) - The instant classic. Prolonged, nuanced medical angst. The best. (and the 7PercentSolution & J_Baillier sequel On the Rack  )

Lunar Landscapes (J_Baillier) - This author is a genius. And this work has practically every colour of Sherlock angst/whump that exists.

Fratros, Eros and Agape (emma221b) - John finds Sherlock bleeding in Magnusson’s office. What happens next (is glorious)

Harmless Things (J_Baillier) Scorpions do horrid things to Sherlock

All the Best and Brightest Creatures (wordstrings) - This is epic; and heartbreaking and beautiful. So beautiful….

My Will’s Not My Own (SailorChibi) - Read the warnings. This one broke my heart; oh Sherlock. It’s never his fault… 

The Dying Detective Remix (SailorChibi) - When will Sherlock EVER ask for help.

Whenever it’s right (Aliea) - John sees a beautiful man with green eyes on the train. And then the train explodes…

Electric Pink Hand Grenade (BeautifulFiction) - Everyone knows this one. The greatest brain in the world gets the world’s worst migraine…

Dangerous Mould (Benfan) - (Near) death via a petri dish

Raison d’etre (AmphigoricSymphony) - This is like the War and Peace of Sherlock whump. Bloody Mary…

Lopov (AmphigoricSymphony) - Mycroft saves a brutalised Sherlock in Serbia

Addicted to a Certain Lifestyle (sfmpco) - Another fill-in-the-gaps after Sherlock’s collapse at Baker Street during HLV.

Your Visible Ghost (anactoria) - Read the warnings. Sherlock goes missing and John receives a video message…

Staircase Wit (splix) - Sherlock just keeps getting beaten (up). And asphyxiated. Quite beautifully.

The way it was meant to be (whitchry9) - John leaves Sherlock for just four days. And of course; pneumonia.

Fever (thecommonplaceofexistence) - John leaves Sherlock again. Sherlock gets pneumonia. Again.

How to torture John (Dlvvanzor) - Read the warnings. Seriously. Read them. This is Sherlock whump but almost equally John.

The Yellow Poppies (SilentAuror) - Mary is a bad person. Sherlock suffers.

Rush (Valxyri) - Sherlock gets drugged with a massive overdose

In The Silence (ScopesMonkey) - A longer saga (Sugerverse) is worth the read but this section is quite angsty and Sherlock gets concussion. Chapters 3 – 5 esp.

A More Vicious Motivator (ShezzasCompanion) - Read the warnings. Sherlock returns from Serbia and well, things just go from bad to worse…

Perfectly Fine (cabintardlock) - Sherlock gets ill and like an idiot hides it from his doctor…

Pain Management (TheGracefulBlueCat**) - Missing scenes from HLV most about pain and angst and trauma. **So many of this author’s works are wonderful Sherlock / John whump which I am not going to list here but recommend…

The Game has Changed (youtextd) - Mycroft arrives in Serbia too late to save Sherlock from terrible, long-lasting trauma. This is the story of how John and Mycroft help Sherlock back.

Not the King’s Men (StoneWingedAngel) - Oh god. Sherlock :-( this is as far as you can go before Sherlock is too traumatised to recover…

Getting Over It (The_Cool_Aunt) - Something’s not quite right with Sherlock. John starts to notice…

Finger Painting in the Dark (whitchry9) - Read the warnings. Moriarty gets his hands on Sherlock and well… it doesn’t go well. At all.

Tears of the Violinist (SUPRNTRAL LVR) - Moriarty steals Sherlock again. It’s brutal.

Cleansing (CumberbatchCritter) - John stumbles across Sherlock detoxing after being in hospital for so long. It’s a painful process.

Confessions (hockeylass) - John and Sherlock hit the road on a case; and then everything goes to hell.

Not Quite in his Right Mind (BakerTumblings) - Sherlock gets a head injury and it’s a shock for John…

No Incentive So Great (thisprettywren) - Sherlock argues with John. And then gets kidnapped. John is awesome.

The Fix (peg22) - Sherlock goes out for milk. And is injected with heroin.

Blind-Spot in Your Intellect (Only_1_Truth) - Sherlock tests a drug on a military-trained flatmate with PTSD…

The Emergency Contact series (blueink3) - Who Sherlock has as his Emergency Contact when he gets hurt, changes over time…

 *******

JOHN WHUMP:

And a Doctor (StillWaters1) - One of my absolute favourites. Sherlock whump too.  Doctor John everybody; stand clear.

De Ses Cendres (Amphigoric Symphony) - Tortured epic saga where Magnusson goes after Sherlock and well, everybody suffers. Endlessly

The Third Brother (uglycrow) - Another favourite. John gets wounded during a visit to the Three Garridebs.

The River Variations (withoutawish) - John gets hurt during a Three Garridebs encounter and Sherlock fractures

Into Dark Waters (Breath4Soul) - (TFP) John waits for Sherlock in the Holmes mansion’s well. He runs out of time.

We go anywhere but to the ground (geordielover) - Read the warnings. Sherlock is gone and John…. breaks.

There but for the Grace of John Watson / The Boys of Baker Street (skyefullofstars) - Parts one and two of a trilogy where John is kidnapped, drugged and becomes addicted and Sherlock is tested to the extreme. Bonus Sherlock whump amongst this sweeping narrative.

Reaction (Blind_Author) - Read the warnings. What happens to John before the semtex and vest incident at the pool.

Triage (scullyseviltwin) - John gets shot. Sherlock falls apart. The aftermath of that…

Handle With Care (TheGracefulBlueCat) - John gets attacked with a scorpion. What is it with these men and scorpions??

Very Good Indeed (stillwaters01) - John diagnoses what toxin he’s been drugged with and has seconds to guide Sherlock to saving him.

Deal (Basser**) - John underestimates his injury and scares Sherlock (**this author does lovely whumplets)

Vital Organs (firstdrafted) - How can John whump be so goddamned sweet. This is lovely

You. Need. To. VER.I.FY. ME!

I work call center support for wireless services in a local telecommunications company. Our company provides a service called Lifeline. The majority of Lifeline customers CALLING(Not ALL, just the ones calling in) are incredibly unstable, difficult to work with, hostile, paranoid, sometimes just plain verbally violent, and much much more!

I just took this call a few calls back and have been typing this up between helping customers with all their facilities in order. I’ll be (M)Me and she’ll be (LL)Lifeline Lady.

M: Thank you for calling WirelessSupport, this is Me speaking, how can I help you?
LL: Hey, can you hear me?
M: I can hear you very well. How may I help you?
LL: Let me turn this up so he can’t hear me. I hear a TV becoming noticably louder in the background, but not to obnoxious levels. Can you still hear me okay dear?
M: Yes.

LL: Okay. So this guy upstairs, he’s been hacking my phone, and my TV, and well anything he can find of mine. He keeps deleting my voicemails, I need you to help me get them back. How do I get them back?CnUgetThmBck4MeINEEDTHEMNOW! Basically screechy gibberish at the end.

These could be voicemails of a lost one, doctors messages which if missed are the end of the world for Lifeline customers, big emotional stuff. I prepare for the worst, or I thought I did…

M: Sadly, if voicemails have been deleted and you don’t have a phone model that saves them, they are gone.
LL: I have the SIM card. They were saved on the SIM card. You need to tell me how to recover them from the SIM card.
M: Ma'am, Voicemails have never been saved on the SIM card. A SIM can barely hold one standard quality photo or a handful of contacts, but definitely never voicemail.
LL: How do you know what I did and didn’t save on MY. SIM card?
M: Again, a SIM card does not have enough room to save any audio or video files to it. If they were deleted from the voicemail system and you didn’t have them saved to the phone or computer(We allow customer to easily download their voicemails to permanently save) those voicemails, are sadly, gone without a chance of recovery.

I was prepared for this. She starts SCREEEEECHING.

LL: YOU! DDNVERROFIGHMEAND#F(&VFBNW(QPVNWVSVN<SDBG(BPV$EKKHHHHHHH.
M: Ma'am, Ma'am, Ma'am. I understand losing voicemails, especially sentimental ones that can’t be replaced can be devastating, but I need you to calm down and speak a little softer if we’re to look into this more or you need more help. Again, I’m sorry, but can you repeat what you said?

Voice quivering with anger…

LL: YOU! DID! NOT! VERIFY ME! BY! MY! NAME! OR PASSWORD! OR PIN! YOU ARE WORKING ON MYYYYYYYY STUFF. WITHOUTVERIFYINGME. I SHOULD HAVE YOUR JOB! I TELL YOU I AM BEING F'NG HACKED YOU F'ING JUST START THROWING MY INFORMATION AROUND!!!!!!! YOU. NEED. TO. VER.I.FY. ME!“

I couldn’t miss a beat. I have a chance.

M: Ma'am. I have not asked for your name, nor your phone number. We have not discussed ANY personal information. Please tell me why I need to verify you to tell you that something that is deleted, is going to remain deleted because it is not possible to undelete or recover it.

I didn’t miss a beat. I don’t think.

LL: Ugh. Change my voicemail PIN to something more secure.

Devil smile.

M: That is a very good idea to change the password to something much more secure if you believe you are being hacked. You may want to turn up the TV a little more though, because after Iiiii… verify you, you’ll need to tell me what PIN you want.

I spent TWENTY FIVE minutes verifying her through everything method on the account, telling her unfortunately because hacking was mentioned in the call, I had to verify every piece of personal information on the account before I could make ANY changes. Name, Address, E-mail, Old e-mail, Secondary Address, Password, Security PIN, Driver’s License, answer to 1 security question and the last 4 of her SSN. The longer it took, the more exasperated she got, and we kept having to ask each other to repeat ourselves because the TV was now quite loud.

In the end I got her setup with a new PIN, updated some personal information and security checks that we discovered we very out of date and she never mentioned the deleted voicemails once after the whole "verify me” explosion.

anonymous asked:

So what are your thoughts on the movie?

I personally felt the movie evn though it was great still lacked something what were your thoughts?

  • Personally didn’t like the ending
  • Too much of Laura crying ;__;
  • Needed more #domesticatedHollstein
  • Loved Mel (and Charlotte) and Mattie
  • Where was Matt/Kirsch in the scrolling credits? ._.
  • Ell’s demise was anti cilmatic.  Funny, but anti climatic.  She technically didn’t even get a proper closure?
  • Needed more one on one hollstein scenes.
  • No proposal ):
  • Laughed at some things
  • Still wondering why they used such a beautiful shot of Carmilla getting dunked in to a coffin of blood for literally 0.1 second
  • Sex scene was beyond my expectation and didn’t feel out of place.  Nicely choreographed.
  • I wasn’t feeling the widescreen.  I feel like I’m missing half the action.
  • I thought the use of music was rightly placed
  • Editing was pretty smooth (I mean there were some continuation errors here and there but every movie has that) and the visual effects were cool (well “cheesy” my friend said but I liked it enough lmao)
  • Personally wish there were more “bright” scenes
  • The plot was a little hard to follow at some points (tbh I’m just dumb i never really understood anything happening in this series)
  • Hollstein is still as wonderful as ever
  • Wardrobe and makeup were meh
  • The story dragged in the middle but rushed at the end
  • Surprisingly, Ell as a villain wasn’t that bad (I liked her sass) but I still wish they hadn’t brought her back
  • I do like the prospects of a Hollstein + Mattie road trip.  Sounds fun and interesting.

All in all, I did enjoy the movie (minus the ending).  I mean, I’ve rewatched it 6 times already.  I feel like there were so many iconic Hollstein moments in the series, but in this movie I can only pick a few?  Also, turning Carmilla back into a vampire completely ruins the emotional impact season 3 left on me.  Like I can’t rewatch season 3 ending and be happy bc I know she’s going to be a vampire again.  AND, the “do you have a heartbeat” which is one of my fav lines in the show, is kind of ruined now.  It pretty much cancels some importance of the web series in a way.  Carmilla has a “spark?”  The all powerful goddess didn’t bring her back to life fully?  Just override her undeath? wtf, I don’t understand that.

I liked the movie as a standalone, but combined with the series, it was idk… just not necessary?  Like if this is the complete ending for Carmilla, I don’t think I’d be happy with it.  It doesn’t feel like a proper closure.  After 3 years of being in this fandom, I feel it’s a little too open ended?  I just wanted the security of Hollstein being happy with their life and choices.  The season 3 ending would’ve sufficed.  @sapphicmess brought up a point that the movie should’ve been a little more independent from the original series.  A completely different mystery, not something involved in the series so it does feel like a standalone movie that both new audiences can latch on and old audiences can enjoy a new storyline.

Don’t get me started on how the plot is literally started bc Laura wanted Carmilla to go to therapy and her problems manifested itself after one session… and Carmilla again not having a choice on what she wants to be.  If opportunity presented itself, she would for sure choose human over vampire.  And Laura, who’s stubborn, is somehow ok with everything after that whole speech at the staircase?  Though to be fair, they didn’t have a choice…  The ending felt bitter sweet rather than a happy ending.  I don’t care what anyone says, happy endings don’t equal “boring endings.”  Lesbians need more media where they’re just happy in the end /:  I know they said no angst in terms of hollstein’s relationship but the biggest angst they could’ve given them is the typical vampire “I’ll outgrow my lover” and they did that… HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY #HOLLSTEINFOREVER IF THEY AIN’T LIVING TOGETHER FOREVER OR GROWING OLD TOGETHER 😭

Idk, i still have a lot to say and add on to but I’ll just leave it at this before I start getting emotional again.

Staying Productive while Writing

Anonymous asked: “I’m starting a book and whenever I sit down to write I never know what to put down. Do you have any advice for getting focused/getting ideas flowing? Or just getting in touch with what you’re trying to say?”

Sometimes it can be a struggle to get words on the page. This happens to everyone - most often, when we’re rusty or feeling out of practice. Sometimes, we just procrastinate. There’s no rush to write that scene, so why not put it off until tomorrow? We have all been there. 

The short answer on how to avoid getting into this habit is to simply stop. Easier said than done. I’ve been there many, many times. I was there this past week after I stopped writing for about a week to recover from a virus. Here’s a few techniques to get back into good writing habits: 

Start with writing prompts.  Then, don’t work on an ongoing project, either write out something by hand or even just type a short scene spurred by a prompt. This will help get you back into the swing of things and thinking again like a writer. While I find good prompts just about everywhere, my favorites are Deep Water Prompts (@deepwaterwritingprompts) and Writing Prompts that Don’t Suck (@awesomewritingprompts). 

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Villain

 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4-1 Part 4-2 Part 5 Part 6

A/N: The Reader gets kidnapped.

I stood in front of the full length mirror and gazed at my reflection, my eyes drifting watching Loki through the mirror as he approached, wrapping his arm around me as we both gazed at our reflection.

“You look quite ravishing in that dress, darling.” He cooed in my ear as his eyes ran up and down my body. “I have a few suggestions as to why you should stay here with me.” He says nibbling on my earlobe.

“Yeah?” I smiled as I felt the twitch in his pants.

“Hmm mmm.” He nods as he slips his hand between my legs.

“No.” I squealed trying to bat is hand away, but I was no match for his arousal.

“Just the head.”  He teased.”

“Do you remember the last time when you only put the head in?” I asked.

He smiles against my ear. “Hmmm,“ he purred. “I remember it quite well.”

“I slept for two days.”

I turned to him, his face painted in a boyish grin that touches his eyes and sparkles.

He shrugs, “I will be more…” He trails off, I glanced down at the bulge in his pants that was aching to break free. “I cannot keep my hands off you and when we make love, I want you to feel everything that I feel, I want you to experience all of me.”

“You do know you’re a God right?”

He rolled his eyes, “how can I forget when you keep reminding me.”

He was getting defensive.

I touched his face and ran my thumb across his bottom lip. “I keep reminding you because you seem to forget your own strength and physical power.”

“I am gentle.” He holds me at arm length. “Have I hurt you?”

“No, no, no. But it takes time for me to recover from one of our sessions.” I say.

“You know what would help.”

“Yes, I do, but -.”

“But you are not ready.” He finished my sentence, turning to sit on the bed.

“Don’t get pouty.”

“I do not pout.”

“You get pouty when you don’t get your way.”

“I always get my way.”

“With magic and manipulation.” I quipped.

He eyes me, “you have such a smart mouth, I should put something in it.”

“I will bite it.”

“And I will have to punish you for causing bodily harm.”

“And I will gladly take the punishment.” I countered.

He exhales harshly. “Do you have to have the last word?”

I shrugged. “Yes. I always get my way.”

“With seduction and sexual manipulation.” He states as the atmosphere in the room shifted.

“Seduction, yes that’s a given. Manipulation,well, I learned that from the you.” I corrected as I walked towards him and stood in between his knees.

He runs his fingers up my dress, deftly tugging on the zipper. “What else have you learned from me?” He asked.

My heartbeat hammered in my chest as he pulled the button to his pants, his bulge spilling forth.

I held his shoulders as he slid my panties down to my knees revealing my bare derriere.

He inhales sharply.

“I learned delayed gratification.” I whispered in his ear then kissed his cheek. “I’m late.”

His mischievous grin was plastered across my face as I made it to Earth, thanks to the dimensional rift he created for me to travel between Asgard and Earth.

I checked the zipper on my dress to make sure it was fastened and I shifted my panties into place as I stepped through the rift that closed a few seconds later.

“You’re late.” Nat says as the darkened window to the truck slides down.

“Sorry,” I say as I crossed the street and approached the truck, climbing into the backseat.

The door was barely closed as Nat speed away.

“I can’t believe Bruce trusts you with his truck.” I say examining the spacious interior.

“I’m an excellent driver.” Nat says matter-of-factly.

“Defensive driver,” Wanda says from the passenger seat.

We all laughed in union.

We pulled up to Night, a supernatural club/lounge that is only known by those who have or know someone with special abilities. We bypassed the lines and went straight to the VIP section that was reserved for us. Our drinks arrived, Wanda had a red bubbly concoction, Natasha a inky black blob that didn’t look appeasing, and I had a plain creamery.

“What’s it like?“ Wanda asked taking a sip of her drink.

“What’s what like?” I asked.

Wanda nodded slyly. “Sleeping with a God.”

“And don’t say it’s anything like with a human because that would be a disappointment.” Natasha interjected.

“It’s different.” I answered.

“That’s it?” Nat asked. “It’s different?” She rolled her eyes, “c’mon, there’s more to it.”

“Loki has superior human strength that gives him superior endurance in all physical activities.”

“What does that mean?” Wanda inquired.

“It means what they do in the bedroom is not of this world.” Nat answered, winking at me.

They both laughed as I took a long swallow of the drink that began to swim in my head.

We danced and enjoyed the night for what is was, tonight’s outing was mainly for Wanda and Natasha, who both needed a break from the missions that have been taking over their lives.

The night was a whirlwind as we exited the nightclub laughing to ourselves.

“Do you need one of the guy’s to walk you to your car?” The bouncer at the door asked.

We declined, not knowing how different the night might have ended if we accepted his invitation.

I remembered that Wanda stepped out first because she commented on the chill in the air, then myself, followed by Natasha. I had the keys, so I walked ahead, we were a few feet away from the truck when it all became a blur, I heard a commotion behind me and turned. Wanda had two guys immobile while the third was making slashing movements with a sword. Natasha was standing over the body of an unknown person who was slumped on the ground, her head snaps up and I will never forget the look on her face.

“Get through the rift.” She screams.

I opened the amulet that hung around my neck and felt my legs moving faster than my mind could comprehend as I dashed to the golden pattern that began to form on the ground where the rift would open.

I glanced down and noticed that I lost a heel in the process. l stepped on the pattern and the rift began to activate and open.

“Don’t let her escape.” A muffled voice say.

The electric shock vibrated through my body and I staggered backwards. I glanced down and saw the two metal prongs latched into my skin. I tried to take a step, but another shock brought me to my knees. I pulled the amulet from my neck and tossed it. I gazed at the opened rift as it sucked up my other heel and the amulet, closing and disappearing a few seconds later.

“Loki!” I heard myself scream internally, but I knew he couldn’t hear me.

A hood covers my head and I became weightless as I was carried into a car. I heard Natasha screaming out my name, but the figures I was squeezed in between held me down as the car sped away.

The hood comes off my head and the cold salty air washed across my face as we switched cars. I gazed up into the blinding light, blinking until the silhouette of a figure appeared. I saw his bright white smile as he placed the cloth over my mouth.

“This will be sure to get his attention.” I heard the groggy voice say as I slumped into unconsciousness.

Post Note: And it begins…Loki x Reader. 

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Guys Like Him [prequel to You Who | 01] (ft. Jeongguk)

Drabble game prompt 42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”
→ badboy!jk, jock!au, prequel (part 1) to You Who [M] 
→ 6k words, (fluff, mentions of sex, tiny bit angst) 

Y/N: Originally didn’t want to make another series about jk, but You Who got a 1000+ notes and I decided to upload this as a surprise :) Enjoy! Split it into two parts, but I’m finished with part 2 so it’ll be uploaded in less than 24 hrs! 


“Nice job boys, that was a really good practice, let’s keep it up! Go home and get some rest!” Coach Kim blows his whistle as the boys all scatter and cheer as their practice comes to an early end. Jimin catches up to Jeongguk and claps the younger boy on the back, “Nice job kiddo, you’re stepping up into the quarterback shoes pretty well.” 

Jeongguk laughs and punches Jimin back in his shoulder pads, earning a playful laugh from him, “Thanks hyung.” 

“What’re you doing Friday night? Seokjin’s frat is throwing a party soon and is inviting the entire cheerleading squad the night before the game. And I overheard Jisoo saying that all of them were gonna be going. Wanna come?” 

Jeongguk smiles, shaking his head. “Sorry hyung, but I have a date with Y/N. I promised her way before that I wouldn’t flake. And since we have the game on Saturday, we planned for Friday.” 

Jimin groans, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, I miss the days when Jeon Jeongguk wouldn’t miss a frat party for the world. What happened?” 

They reach the lockers and begin removing their heavy gear. “I ended up dating the smartest, prettiest girl on campus. Can’t risk losing that.”

Jimin catches the slight blush on Jeongguk’s face. Smirking, he comments, “Damn man, you can literally get with any of the girls on campus. And you used to! What happened? You’re so whipped for her dude.” 

Jeongguk smiles as he walks towards the showers. With a wide smile, he adds, “I am.” 

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tw: ed mentions

OKAY SO for those who don’t know i had an eating disorder and am currently recovering. and this is relevant because after over a day of mental preparation, i watched To The Bone on Netflix

for those who don’t know pt 2- To The Bone is basically a movie about a girl with anorexia, and a couple other kids with different eds.

you see, that already had me concerned because, you know, Netflix made 13 Reasons Why and I don’t need to go into detail about that. So I watched it today to make sure it was done right, I guess? Basically to make sure it wasn’t A Mess.

And I’m here to tell you that, in my opinion, To The Bone was a great movie. 

I did some research about it beforehand and I learned that a lot of people who were part of the production (writers/actors/etc) have had EDs, and that a lot of the movie was based off of true events. This already puts To The Bone under different circumstances when compared to 13rw, and I was incredibly happy about that when I did my research. Although, of course, a part of me was still worried.

But, like I said, it turned out to be a great movie. But before I write down what I liked about the movie, I need to put it out there that it is, indeed, an incredibly triggering movie (which is why I needed a day of preparation before watching it) so please don’t watch it if you feel you’ll be badly triggered.

Now, onto why I liked To The Bone:

  • They had a trigger warning before the movie. I absolutely hated the strong lack of trigger warnings in 13rw, so I was really happy to see that there was a warning before the movie (where they also mentioned that people involved in making the movie have had EDs)
  • Lily Collins. Honestly this doesn’t even need to be explained. Also her character was incredibly blunt and idk I liked her character a lot
  • They didn’t romanticize eating disorders. This was incredibly important to me. How they showed and described eds were, in my opinion, very accurate and so incredibly blunt and real. They showed what I refer to as the ugly parts of having an eating disorder, and I was really happy about that. It showed that eds aren’t diets, trends, and how it’s not always about getting skinny (there’s a part where they talked about this and I cried because it was just so true and I was so thankfu for that)
  • The sister relationship is just so sweet and real. Like, it’s hard to explain without giving too much spoilers and this is more on the personal side but I really love the moments when the sisters were talking (another part where I cried) because I’m personally really close to my brother and yeah
  • One of the characters is a boy recovering from an ed. This was really important to me because I feel like some people don’t realize that boys can get eating disorders.
  • It ends on a good note, but not after some shit goes down. I liked this because, again, it felt real. It wasn’t some magical happy ending or anything, but it was a good ending that happened after some struggle, which is how it is in real life. 
  • I cried a lot because, like what I’ve been saying a lot in this post, it felt real. It didn’t feel like a sensationalized ed movie that’s “fake deep” or anything, it was very raw to me. It had scenes that may seem too blunt or shocking to other people who never had an ed, but to me they were relatable. And this movie is now very dear to my heart.

In short: I liked To The Bone a lot and I wanna thank everyone who worked on it because I really love how it turned out and yall did *not* pull a 13 reasons why

Lich King Boyfriend Part Three

The finale of the Lich King story that was commissioned by @ladyccr. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did!

   Ria has been here for almost six months. Every day she brings a little more light to the castle. Every day I feel a little less cold. We’ve learned to communicate now through our hands. One of my staff taught us sign language so that she could talk to me without the hassle of pen and paper. Although, most times, I feel as if I can understand her without words.

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