how can i do that if nobody can find me

Fanon Lotor be like

i am not even sorry just take this

and then there was me, a queer girl in the catholic church with traditional parents. i grew up with a fingernail caught in my throat. i changed the words to songs so i’d be singing about boys. i was scared of “gay”. my mother told me it meant happy but i knew it meant being pushed to the floor of the bus. i remember my bible school teacher telling us that the greatest sin a woman can have is not giving a man her love. i remember realizing i liked girls and putting it in a box i labelled dirty and couldn’t bring myself to touch. when i came out i had to ask if my parents still loved me, like the idea of their acceptance ended where my sexuality began. they pull back when i accidentally slip and admit i like a girl. they promise the church doesn’t hate us, just doesn’t let us get married under god’s roof with god present. oh it’s a fine marriage, we accept it, but technically in the eyes of the church i’m living in sin. it would be better if i liked men. when i was 7 i was sure i was going to unhappily marry a man just to make my parents happy. at 23 i might marry a man just to make my parents happy.

god was this hard thing we couldn’t figure out how to handle. god came beyond the doors of the church. my god answered me at night but reminded me to cower. my god killed my brothers and sisters in the hands of others. how am i to reconcile that god that felt like love and belonging with the god called down in conversion camps. how am i to say i love the light of god when i have seen it burn the flesh of others.

i watch it still. for a while i was spitting and hissing and wouldn’t let god near me. i think it was better then, when i had shut my doors to the idea of it. once i tried to find god again i found myself desperately lost in the forest.

i was always so alone in church. always different. it wasn’t until i mentioned it once in an online chat that i found someone else who had gone through the same thing. how terrible, to form a community of people who have all been cast out. how powerful.

we, together, discussing at two a.m if god is real and if she is where she begins and ends. my brothers and sisters and family - we are all so strong for having survived this. for having been spat out by what should have accepted us. that first community. that first slap. the book that taught us not all books are homes. the book that i spent hours combing over looking for where my flaws were entombed. that curse that keeps following us, doggedly, just when we thought we shook it off - watching others take god as an excuse to punish us, to put into law our discrimination, to enact and enforce violence against us. “god loves you,” we were told. is this what god looks like? our first relationship with abuse?

i am stuck with an eternity of questions. can we find our own god? can we find her in each other? do we leave god entirely, and just find love in the stories of us lost lambs? is god worth it? was the word of god really to ruin us? is god even to blame for any of this, or is this how humans are when they find something to hit? 

all i know is this: i am not alone. and if you’re like me, come to me. talk. i’ll listen. god only knows nobody else did.

Studio Ghibli Sentence Meme
  • “Now I have something I want to protect. It’s you.”
  • “I’m not afraid to die!”
  • “You cannot change fate. However, you can rise to meet it, if you so choose.”
  • “They say that the best blaze brightest when circumstances are at their worst.”
  • “Fear and anger only make it grow faster.”
  • “I think I can handle it.”
  • “Here’s another curse for you - may all your bacon burn.”
  • “Don’t worry! Stay right where you are, I’m coming to get you! You’re gonna be fine, I won’t let him hurt you.”
  • “I need something of yours. How ‘bout your eyes?”
  • “We gotta get out of here! We’re gonna get in trouble!”
  • “You, you sabotaged me! Look! Look at what you’ve done to my hair! Look!”
  • “No more killing. It has to stop!”
  • “You sound ghastly, like some 90-year-old woman.”
  • “Guys, don’t take that food! We’re gonna get in trouble!”
  • “Fight ‘em! C’mon!”
  • “Smile so we can make a good impression.”
  • “We each need to find our own inspiration. Sometimes it’s not easy”
  • “I finally get a bouquet and it’s a goodbye present. That’s depressing.”
  • “Life is suffering. It is hard. The world is cursed. But still, you find reasons to keep living.”
  • “Sorry, it looks like you’re involved.”
  • “Oh, my baby! Are you all right? Are you emotionally traumatized?”
  • “Now I’m trying to look inside myself and find out how I did it.”
  • “Leave before it gets dark.”
  • “Once you do something, you never forget. Even if you can’t remember.”
  • “Cut off a wolf’s head and it still has the power to bite.”
  • “It’s all so familiar yet I know I’ve never been here before. I feel so at home.”
  • “Now I’m trying to look inside myself and find out how I did it.”
  • “I suggest you surrender. There is no ship coming to rescue you.”
  • “I had no idea that my rage could drive me to kill.”
  • “These days, there are angry ghosts all around us - dead from wars, sickness, starvation - and nobody cares.” 
  • “A heart’s a heavy burden.”
  • “Please! You must stop!”
  • “Well, well, well… hello kitty.”
    “You can’t be busy - you’re five!”
  • “So you say you’re under a curse? So what? So’s the whole damn world.”
  • “ I have really had enough of your incredible stupidity.”
  • “Lamebrain! They made an escape! Now step on it!”
  • “I didn’t want them to kill you.”
  • “It’s fun to move to a new place. It’s an adventure.”
  • “Welcome the rich man, he’s hard for you to miss. His butt keeps getting bigger, so there’s plenty there to kiss!”
  • “You shouldn’t be here! Get out!”
  • “He said Mom was ugly, now go get him!”
  • “Kill him and you’ll be famous.”
  • “I’ve seen him do this once before when a girl dumped him.”
  • “S/He’s alive. There goes that dream.”
  • “That was the night I died.”
  • “I’d rather be a pig than a fascist.”
  • “You don’t remember your name?”
  • “Don’t be afraid, I just want to help you.”
  • “Poor kids. I’ll really miss them.”
  • “I don’t fight for honor. I fight for a paycheck.”
  • “ No, No, No! Don’t do this! Help! Help! Crazy lady with the shovel!”
  • “She was once quite beautiful, so I decided to pursue her, then I realized she wasn’t, so then, as usual, I ran away.”
  • “You’re in love. Don’t deny it, you’ve been sighing all day”
  • “She never woke up again.”
  • “You blubber heads! I’m not runnin’ a luxury cruise! Now get to work!”
  • “Why does everything that’s good for you have to taste so bad?”
  • “Whatever you don’t want me to clean, better hide it now!”
  • “This is our little secret. You tell anyone and I’ll rip your mouth off.”
  • “I give up. I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful.”
  • “If I lose my magic, that means I’ve lost absolutely everything.”
  • “ It’s… you’re scaring me. I have this weird feeling you’re going to leave. ”
  • “There’s a demon inside you.”
  • “Don’t get alarmed but I’m being followed. Act normal.”
  • “Don’t worry, I’ve got four-wheel drive.”
  • “This is what hatred looks like! This is what it does when it catches hold of you! It’s eating me alive, and very soon it will kill me!”
  • “Smooth. Very smooth. You definitely know how to make a good first impression.”
  • “Everyone fears their own mortality.”
  • “Play with me or I’ll break your arm!”
  • “I gotta get out of this place. Someday I’m getting on that train.”
  • “Wait give us a minute! This is clearly harassment.”
  • “Why do fireflies have to die so soon?”
  • “There you are, sweetheart. Sorry I’m late. I was looking everywhere for you.” 
  • “When you’re going to kill a god, let someone else do your dirty work.”
  • “Why did you stop me from killing her?”
  • “When I saw you, I just wanted to find a way to protect you.” 
  • “One thing you can always count on is that hearts change.”
  • “Tell me while you’re still alive!”
  • “This is a tomb for the both of us.”
  • “If nobody comes in, I’m gonna have to eat pancakes forever and be fat, fat, fat! And what am I supposed to do about that?”
  • “Even if you were a woman, you’d still be an idiot!”
  • “What do you say we give 'em a little demonstration of how fast we can run, huh?”
  • “HAM!”

[image description: a graphic featuring text laid over two boxes of different shades of blue.

the first box is smaller and contains two headings, “So your buddy’‘s disabled:” followed by “How Can I Help?” in quotation marks.

the second box is larger and contains a list of five subheadings and descriptions, which are as follows:

1. Pity parties are boring. I don’t need you to tell me how awful my life must be or how sorry you are that I have to deal with it. I don’t care. I’m doing exactly the same as everyone else - managing with what I’ve got.

2. Don’t assume I’m incapable. I can still open doors for myself and hold a conversation. Even with a crutch. Blind-blowing, I know. It’s frankly a little insulting how quickly people will rush to ‘help’ me when I’m using a mobility aide. If you’re not sure, then ask first! Or alternatively, wait for me to ask you.

3. Let me grab you on the stairs. Stairs fuckin’ suck and I may have to grab something very quickly in order to avoid collapsing. Sometimes that something may be you and I am always very grateful for your presence in this situation.

4. Meet in accessible spaces. If you choose to sit somewhere I can’t get to, i.e. upstairs, then I’m left with three options: a) I kick up a fuss and make you move, b) I get hurt by forcing myself to join you, or c) I sit on my own. None of these options are ideal for any of us but they could all be avoided if you’d sat somewhere else.

5. Listen to me. My condition and how I’m feeling with it changes from day to day, and what was fine yesterday might not be today. I will always try my best to communicate what I can and can’t manage; all you need to do is keep an open mind and listen to what I’m telling you.]


Not all of these points will apply to everyone with a disability, but certainly the 1st, 2nd and 5th should apply to almost everyone. I often find that nobody really knows what to do when they discover that I’m disabled, and I’m often asked “how can I help?” but never have much of an answer, so I finally thought I’d put together a masterlist for my friends to take a look at.

DannyMay Day Five: Moment in time/clocks

…He always gets a feeling first. Like the air shifts around him. A disturbance if you will. He knows it’s really bad when, coupled with The Feeling, all his clocks stall for a single second. He turns on his monitor. The nagging will not go away.

Daniel is up to something

Keep reading

flatwoulds  asked:

Hi! I have to write an essay on Animal Exploitation in circuses/seaworld and such for one of my classes, and most of the sources I try to find are from PETA or affiliates of PETA. Do you know of any good articles or sites where i can get some accurate information from? thank you!

Hmmm. So, I looked through your blog to try to get a sense of where you’re coming from, and it seems like you’re in high school - which means that I’m going to base this response on the assumption that your teacher gave you a purposefully anti-captivity assignment (which is something I’ve seen more and more teachers going, and which is super frustrating because it only allows students to look at one side of a major controversy and then expects you to prove one side true). If you’ve got the flexibility to change your thesis a little bit (for example, to investigating if a company is exploitative instead of arguing that they are) I would highly suggest doing that, because you’ll find way more information and have a much more interesting paper at the end of it. I

I don’t know how much your school has taught you yet to think critically about sources, but it’s worth noting that the sources you can find on a topic will tell you something about the political / real world context of that topic. You said you’ve been looking up sources for animal exploitation in various contexts, and all you’re coming up with is results from extremist groups who are known for lying and manipulating information. If there’s nothing that shows up on a couple of other cursory google searches, that tells you something - in this case, it hints that no definitive answer on the topic exists, and more importantly, that either there isn’t enough research for people to publish or nobody not an extremist group supports the stance you’re looking at strongly enough to publish about it. This is something you can talk to your teacher about - any good teacher will listen to ‘hey I can’t actually find reliable sources for this, what do you want me to do’ if you can back it up with sources about how PETA and animal rights extremist groups and how they manipulation (there are lots of these, you can start with the website petakillsanimals as a jumping off point, but I would use what they talk about to find news articles or other pieces on the same topics because they’re also a radical, biased source). 

There’s also not going to be a lot of publications on the other side of the issue - things defending no, these places aren’t exploitative. That’s partially because it’s a super nuanced issue, and it’s also because the non-research parts of the animal world are just not academic in nature. People are generally working with animals rather than writing about them, and the publications that do occur tend to be focused at other members of the field rather than communicating with the public (that’s the job of the PR departments, apparently, and it’s stupid and they’re doing a really bad job of educating people which is partly why this blog exists). So the question then becomes: how do you find more sources and viewpoints on the topic when the specific issue you’re looking to learn about isn’t one that gets published on directly?

Here’s where I suggest you start. If you’re going to talk about something being exploitative, you have to define what exploitation is and why something is exploitative. Generally with animals, the arguments people use to back up claims of abuse or exploitation are low welfare, being under human control / used for human wants, not being in nature (with the assumption nature is nicer and better for animals), that sort of thing. I’d start looking into Seaworld or Ringling or whomever you’re focusing on with an eye to those issues - do the animals have good welfare? Has it been studied? If not, are the similar studies with that species or another species in the same environment? I’d look into some animal ethics, stuff about human use, and definitely look into the differences between the lives of animals in the wild vs in captivity in terms of average lifespan, injury, reproduction, that sort of thing. You can absolutely search the archive of this blog (use the search bar on the blog page, not the tags, because then you can search the text of posts) to get an idea of where to start. 

Now, you’re in high school, so I can’t imagine your teacher is expecting you to be reading academic publications - they’re dense and hard to get ahold of. So, where do you find this information? Sadly, I don’t think this blog will count as a primary source for most teachers. So, you have a couple options. You can get on google scholar and start plugging in keywords until you find authors who seem like they’re writing on what you’re looking for, and then search their name to find out if they’ve written books - those will generally be written for the public and be much easier to read. You can also get a list of what information you’re looking for and some keywords and talk to your librarian for help. 

When you’re using these sources, just remember - look up the author. Look up their political associations and memberships and see if they have a bias on the topic. Bias doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t use them as a resource, but it’s something to take into consideration when developing conclusions or when trying to figure out why statements between sources are contradictory. 

Good luck!

Random Lyrical Starters
  • “It’s time for me to let it go.”
  • “I ain’t got no crystal ball.” 
  • “Well I had a million dollars but I spent it all.”
  • “Daddy’s got a new 45.” 
  • “If he knows what’s good for him he best go run and hide.”
  • “I knew it from the start, baby when you broke my heart.” 
  • “You lied to me, all those times I said that I love you.” 
  • “Wearing dirty laundry, you gotta not.” 
  • “Is that what you call flirting?” 
  • “Is you afraid of blues clues?”
  • “I need a man, a man who can act like a man.” 
  • “I don’t get paid to babysit no one.”
  • “I see a red door, I want it painted it black.” 
  • “I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes, I have to turn my head until my darkness go.” 
  • “I’ve seen it in the flight of birds, I’ve seen it in you.” 
  • “Just keep following the heart lines on your hand.”
  • “I need your love.” 
  • “When you were here for me I was not there for you.” 
  • “I was too blind to see now I don’t know what to do.” 
  • “I’ll be calling out to you, can you hear me?” 
  • “She’s got all the moves to make you give it up.” 
  • “Look into my eyes can’t you see they’re open wide.” 
  • “There’s no one else but you, would I lie to you?”
  • “Everyone always wants to know the truth.” 
  • “You will never find another girl/boy in this heart of mine.” 
  • “Nobody likes being played.” 
  • “Tell me how you tolerate the things you just found out about?” 
  • “We’ll never know why are we the ones who suffer.” 
  • “Let’s not start a fight.” 
  • “Can we laugh about it?” 
  • “Who am I kidding I know what I’m missing.”
  • “It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside.” 
  • “I’m not one of those who can easily hide.”
  • “I don’t have much money, but boy if I did. I’d buy a big house where we both could live.”
  • “Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen.”
  • “I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is now that you’re in the world.”
  • “Let me roam your body freely.”
  • “How deep is your love?”
  • “Only know you love her/him when you let her/him go.”
  • “Stick by me and I’ll stick by you.” 
  • “You are my fire, the one desire.” 
  • “But we are two world’s apart, can’t reach to your heart.” 
  • “Tell me why, ain’t nothing but a heartache.” 
  • “Now I can see that we’ve fallen apart from the way that it used to be.”
  • “Why am I always hit on by the boys I never like?” 
  • “I don’t want to be a priss, I’m just trying to be polite.” 
  • “You had me at hello then you opened up your mouth and that is when it started going south.”
  • “The heart is hard to translate it has a language of it’s own.”
  • “We keep behind closed doors, every time I see you I die a little more.” 
  • “Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls it’ll never be enough.”
  • “It’s obvious you’re meant for me, every piece of you it just fits perfectly.”
  • “I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me.”
  • “Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine, I’m leaving my life in your hands.”
  • “People say I am crazy and that I am blind risking it all in a glance.”
  • “ Don’t care what is written in your history.”
  • “Doesn’t really matter if you’re on the run it seems like we are meant to be.”

Unfaithful : Part Thirteen

Summary :
In the Pre-apocalypse , you went to your aunt Lucille’s house in Virginia to spend the summer there, but you fell in love with her husband Negan .

**drama - romance - angst- smut - betrayal**

Pairing : Negan x Female Reader OC.

Dedicated to @negansmainwife

Taglist:
@lbonnell123
@yellatthetopofyourlungs

@i-am-negan-trash

@warriorqueen1991

@ryangoslingstanktop

@monicapernas

@negans-network

@negan–is–god

@memphisgirl1977

@frozenhuntress67

@jmackie1983

@pinkykayley

@ladyhawk4133

Please let me know if you wether want to be tagged or untagged.

Warnings : language - smut .

Note:

This fic is about betrayal or adultery, call it what you want, please if you feel triggered about such thing don’t read. If not , you can be wether team y/n or team Lucille. LOL

Previous chapters :

https://negansslowlyburn.tumblr.com/post/159839481553/unfaithful

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Negan pushed you against the wall, you emitted a low moan , his tongue traced your buttom lip , wanting you to grant him the access to yours. As a consequence, you complied and you parted between your lips, that’s when his tongue softly caressed yours . Negan took his time in kissing you, his languid moves making you more and more aroused, you could feel a tingle between your thighs, his hands were slowly tracing across your skin .
You could hear you heart pounding like a million drums in your ears, Negan was your hell and heaven at the same time. You wrapped your arms around his neck and
he hooked his hands under the straps of your dress and made it fall to the ground.
You and Negan didn’t break from the wet kiss though, he tightly gripped at your waist and pulled you towards his crotch, you could feel his erection growing. One of your hands fell off his neck to palm his bulge, as a result Negan let out a throaty sound and gently tugged at you lower lip.

You moaned in his mouth and squeezed more at the buldge, the sultry kiss and his big hands tracing across every inch of your back down to your lace clad ass and thighs made your folds dripping more. Suddenly, you just felt a sulty taste in your mouth, you opened your eyes and broke from the kiss gasping. You looked at his eyes and you could see tears in them.
“Negan! Are you crying? ?”
“Tears of joy baby, it’s not like me to get emotional but I thought I’ll never get to kiss or touch you again! Hell I thought I’ll never see you again !”
He turned around and sat on the edge of the bed.
“I left the town y/ n! I thought I’m leaving for good, but when I got your messages, I … I came back two days ago, I … I stayed in here trying what to do next! Till you spotted me and came to me!!”
He wiped his tears then he run his hand over his face down to his beard. You stood for a while watching him, processing what he said, then you took your shoes off and walked to him seductively swaying your hips as you purred.
“You came back for me? !”
Negan licked his lips as he took in your sexy appearance and nodded.
“Yeah baby! I came back for you!”
You stood few inches from him, stroking his hair while his fingertips tracing the skin of your belly then he pulled you and sucked and nipped at your flesh, you breathed out and arched your head back.
“Ah Negan! ”
“Call me Daddy!” Negan groaned.
“Daddy! ”
Negan’s hands went up and unclasped you bra, he tossed away then he looked up to your hardened tits.
“Motherfucking fuck!!! Those pink tits are going to be the fucking death of me!”
He took one of your nipples in his mouth and twirled his tongue around it while he rubbed his thumb on the other one.
“Oh God !” You screamed then you you peeled off his shirt.
Negan then palmed your wet sex, he hummed against your breast
“Oh baby girl, you’re already soaking! ” then he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your panties and slid them down your thighs till they fell into your feet, you kicked them away.
He watched your pussy then placed a soft kiss on it while digging his nails on your exposed ass.
You pulled away a little then you knelt as you positioned yourself between his thighs. Negan looked at you, he knew what you wanted.
“Look, baby you don’t have to!”
“I want to, Daddy please!”
Negan nodded and you roughly pushed him back, his back laid on the matress.
You pulled his sweatpants and briefs altogether down to his ankles. Then you stroke his full erect length, Negan loudly moaned as he tightened his fist around the bedsheets.
You licked your lips, there was twinkle in your eyes when you watched the pre-cum dripping from his big long hard cock, you spread that pre-cum on his shaft making him groan even louder , seeing him trembling in anticipation under your touch was such a turn on, you could feel you’re flooding the ground with your juices already. You twirled your tongue on the tip of his dick then you sucked at it, you let go making a lewd “pop” sound, then you did again, after a while your head bobbed up and down as your saliva coated his cock , while your other hand massaged his balls.
“Oh fucking hell, fuck!!!! Yeah baby , keep sucking it , baby girl!!! Fucking shit!!! Ahhhhh I love how you pretty mouth is fucking me!!!”
You let go of his dick then you quickly straddled him, you didn’t want him to cum in your mouth, not until you feel that huge length inside you.
You carefully slid yourself on him as you grabbed his dick and guided into your entrance, both of you cried out when you felt him stretching you and you tightened around him.
“Fuck me Daddy!” You moaned.
Negan gripped your waist down at him, while you bounced up and down , with every bounce, he bucked his hips to meet yours, you arched your back and parted between your lips in a silent scream as you screw your eyes shut, as your hands grabbing at his forearms .
“Ah Daddy, oh God! Oh fuck!!”
Your moans drove Negan crazy.
“You want me to fuck you harder baby?”
“Yes Daddy!” You cried out.
Negan didn’t waste time, he got you off his dick and threw you on the matress next to him, he quickly kicked off his sneakers and pants . Once he’s completely naked , like you, he grabbed you by the waist and turn on your belly.
“Bend the fuck over!” He commanded
Surprisingly, you submitted real fast and you bent over as you were told.
He parted between your thighs and with zero warning he thrust inside of you, you gasped . You wanted to grasp his arm but he snapped it away.
“Stay fucking still! ” He gritted his teeth
Negan ’s jaws clenched as he plunged in and out mercilessly. Beads of sweat formed on his whole body, some of them dropped on your soft skin.
He roughly balled his fist around your hair, and pulled you to his chest, this position helped him to thrust deeper and harder, he was hitting that sweet spot.
His other hand pinched your nipples once in a while, sometimes he just digs his nails in your thigh or belly. Negan didn’t miss the chance of biting at your neck to mark you as his and you knew this definitely would leave bruises , and Jack would notice, especially it’s hot and you always wear thin material clothes but at that moment you didn’t give a shit about him or Lucille or the bruises on your skin.
And as if Negan felt that Jack crossed your mind, he roughly whispered in your ear.
“Does he fuck you the way I do? ”
You ignored his question , you just kept yourself focused on his fast and hard thrusts .
Negan pulled your hair harder and he painfully slowed down his thrusts.
“Answer the fucking question!” He growled.
“No!!! No!!! He didn’t! ” you whined as you backed your ass to him to feel more.
“No what?”
“No Daddy, he didn’t fuck me! And no one could do what you’re doing to me!”
“Are you gonna let him touch this pussy? ” He gave you one hard thrust then he stopped.
“No no!!!! My pussy is yours… please!”
“Please what?”
“Please Daddy!!” You tears started pouring out of your eyes.
“Who do you fucking belong to? ”
“You Daddy! Please. .!” You screamed.
Negan pushed you again to the matress, and lifted your ass up then he picked up the pace, thrusting in and out as he let out a string of curses.
“Fuck!!!!!” You moaned
The bed was creaking under you , and you could hear the lewd sound of his dick pumping into your wet folds, his balls slammed against your ass, and all this was like a symphony to your ears.
You could feel the burning feeling forming in your stomach
“Daddy, fuck me harder… I’m close!”
Negan slid a finger down to rub your clit in circles, you screamed at the sweet sensation, as his thrusts quickened .
“Come on baby girl, cum for Daddy, come fucking on! Let that tight pussy coat my big fat dick!!! Milk it baby!!! Oh fucking fuck!!! Your pussy is swallowing me!!”
Few dirty rough words coming out from his mouth was all you needed to reach your intense climax, your eyes rolled back and your toes curled as a loud scream slipped out of your mouth.
You shivered as your orgasm hit you in successive waves , while your inner walls clenched around Negan’s length, and your juices coated him . He came hard inside you “fucking hell!!!!” He shot his thick warm sperm into you, then he placed his sweaty forearm on your lower back as he twitched a little .
After you both rode out your orgasms, you fell into the matress gasping for air. Negan pulled you towards him, he grabbed the sheets to cover your naked body along with his and he nuzzled into your neck.
“I’m sorry if I was a little harsh on you!” He whispered.
“It’s ok, I asked for it!” You smiled while your fingers combed his hair.
“Negan, you really came back for me?” You added.
Negan shifted , and leaned on his elbow glaring down at you.
“Yes, I couldn’t stay away! ”
You cupped his cheek, and he kissed your palm then mumbled.
“Come with me! ”
“Where? ”
“Let’s go somewhere new! Somewhere where nobody can find us!!! We’ll live together and start over!”
You dropped your hand from his face then you turned to rest on your side.
“I … I can. .. how… I can’t do this to Lucille! Or Jack!”
“You’re such a fucking hypocrite! You just did!!!! Did you think about Lucille or Jack when we made love!???”
Negan growled as he pushed the sheets off and got up, he put his boxers and swatpants back on.
“I mean at least I fucking faced Lucille and told her that I can’t be with her , I fucking left her!!! I can’t live a lie and now you’re making me live another fucking one!” He rubbed his scruffy chin in frustration.
You adjusted yourself on the bed , covering your body with the sheets.
“What am I supposed to do Negan? Say, hi Lucille I fucked your husband, he left you because of me, sorry about that AUNT Lucille and oh ! I’m leaving with him!!” You yelled.
“First , it’s fucking true I want you but you have nothing to do with me leaving Lucille, I should have fucking do it years ago! And second , if you want me too and you wanna be with me, there will be no deception or lying. And once you’re mine you’re ALWAYS fucking mine, no fucking man gets to fucking touch you!!! And by that I mean Jack! You’ll break up with him! If you’re too scared to tell him the truth, you can leave that part for me, I’ll tell Lucille and Jack everything !”
“No! Lucille is still weak, she’s on meds!!!”
You pushed your covers off you then you knelt on the edge of the matress, extending your arms to Negan.
He took few steps towards you and pulled your naked sexy form to his bare chest.
You looked up at him .
“Give me time, once I make sure Lucille is physically and mentally much better, I’ll make you confront her, concerning Jack, I’ll make excuses so I won’t meet him, then I’ll just text him and tell him we’re over and then we’ll leave Virginia together, for good. Ok?” You smiled when you saw his features softening, it seemed that you managed to convince him with your plan.
He nodded then he leaned and captured your lips into a fevered kiss.
You pulled away from him then you spread between your legs .
“How about you take those pants off again and make me scream your name Daddy! ”
Embracing the Suck

The title of this post was appropriated from one of my instructors and good friend Ken, whose writing I unfortunately can’t redirect you to since it doesn’t exist. Sorry!

I have been thinking a lot lately about the psychological side of fencing and specifically about self-improvement. There are a couple of skills I’ve managed to get quite good at. Fencing isn’t one of them, yet - but I am definitely a lot better than I was one year ago, applying similar strategies to skills I’ve learned in the past. There has always been a prevalent commonality in the way I approach the task mentally. 

This is a really long post, so if you are short on time, just skim to the bold parts.

The first thing to do is define your objective. You want to get good at something, simple enough, but useless bullshit as far as a real goal with a tangible measurable result goes. What’s getting good actually mean? Will you know when you’ve reached it? It’s something you kind of have to define for yourself, but a useful one for me has always been asking myself: “Can I actualise my will using this skill?” For example, I know I am alright at programming, because most of the time if I set out to do something using that skill I manage to do it. I know I am quite effective at painting and drawing because I can imagine how I want something to look and then execute it to a standard I am satisfied with - the gap between what I wanted to do and what I did is narrow, if existent at all. This is how I view self-improvement at fencing. I decide I want to reduce the gap between my will to carry out an action, and the actualisation of it. So far, it has served me well enough.

Something which has been very important for me in everything I’ve ever improved at is to let go of any desires to be better than others.
There are two reasons it’s shit to advance your skill just to be better than others: First, once you achieve that goal you will stagnate. This is a big problem in fencing as we often have limited access to skilled opponents. If you are satisfied with your progress when you win a bout against a local someone who seems good, you’re lazy and people with a good mindset will continuously overtake you in ability.
Second, it makes you an asshole. Peers are the single most valuable resource in improving yourself in a skill, and the more of them you alienate, the less of a buff you get from their friendship, collaboration, and general investment in your improvement. We often get newbies or pedestrian fencers who don’t show up much. If they are friendly I will always tell them exactly what I find difficult to counter and how they can kick my ass next time after sparring. If they’re a dick, to me or to others (espescially newbies), I basically don’t care if they ever show up again, so I ignore them. I am sure plenty of others feel the same way, or at least, I am sure nobody goes out of their way to help assholes improve. Don’t underestimate the importance of social buy-in. Do what you can to encourage your friends and prefer positive interactions with peers in your chosen skill.

While in various forms of art you perform solo it’s quite obvious the detriment being over-competitive can be, it’s not so obvious in fencing. I mean, it’s a competitive sport, so there has to be some level of rivalry. But it can be framed very positively. Your aim is to be better than yourself. The good thing about this is the road leads to perpetual improvement - it’s always possible to get better. It’s also optimistic, measurable, and very achievable. It’s also possible to measure your own improvement by whether or not you’re capable of “not getting hit by that guy” or “covering against that chick’s unterhau” or whatever. You can re-frame what would be a negative comparison with a peer to something focused on self reflection.

Be realistic about how badly you want to achieve this. I would think for most people it’s easy to tell when you’re driven towards something. You think about it all the time and get anxious if you aren’t doing enough of it. Analyse your feelings about your goals and make a realistic assessment: What do you actually want? How serious are you about trying to achieve it? Does your dedication match your goal? If not, change your goal or your level of dedication. Special hint if you are wondering how to assess your level of dedication: If you walk away from the task cause you suck at it, you weren’t dedicated: you walked away.

Last and maybe most important is to learn to embrace the suck. Any skill worth learning will not give you instant gratification. You will suck at it and have a shit time probably for years, and even then, if you really really love it, you will never be satisfied. As an artist I do pretty well - well enough to pay bills and create mostly anything I like - but it’s still a path of gruelling pessimistic dissatisfaction, and a desire for more. If you are really on this path, all the things that suck about it will be a treasure to you. You’ll embrace it with open arms, as another step on the way. It’s normal and perfectly functional to kind-of sort-of hate the activity you love.

See also: Hema Sucks

i think it’s really important to analyze our motives and reasoning for anything we do, especially with our bodies -

like, for example dysphoria. i think as a transgender person, when dysphoria comes up, it’s incredibly important and good for you to try and find the cause of it and how best to approach it and really get down as deep as you can to see what will address rhe problem - because many things can cause dysphoria, many people experience dysphoria in many different ways, and nobody deals with it the same way exactly and nobody should.

dysphoria can come from dealing with internalized self-hatred from different kinds of marginalization, disorders, the aftermath of abuse - whether that be from friends, general bullying, parents and family, partners, many kinds of trauma, and reasons we might not even know about or reasons i haven’t mentioned. i feel like a lot of us have fostered a culture that sort of doesn’t get to the root of it and encourages a lot of bandaid fixes and while those might work for a while, sometimes you can end up more miserable.

for some people, the solution to their dysphoria is to transition in hundreds of different ways - through vocal training, talk therapy, hormome treatment, surgeries. for others, it’s as far as clothes or pronouns or other labels or apathy. dysphoria isn’t limited to trans people and it manifests in countless different ways in almost if not all of us.

i don’t think it’s good to encourage or push people into things they’re unsure about, or push the idea that there’s one true way to go about dysphoria, transitioning or otherwise.

i think what’s important is instead giving people the tools to see how they’ll deal with it and go about it so they can come to a responsible decision for themselves and really come to a deeper understanding of themselves in the process and grow as people, because what might work for you could be the worst decision for another person you think might be in your shoes.

i think making lists with pros and cons, analyzing yourself, reading up and comparing your experience in a lot of different angles, is extremely vital. transitioning for me meant more than hormone treatment, it meant coming face to face with the ugly facts of my life - i grew up feeling ugly, i was abused and i had no positive role models in my life, especially not men, i have several disorders that screw with how i perceive myself. transitioning is my solution and way of dealing with it after years of thinking how it would effect me and how i could benefit or be harmed by transitioning and whether or not it was really good for ME and my mental health and image. but this isn’t the same for everyone else.

just be true to yourselves more than anything else or anyone else. think about yourself and try to understand yourself, try things out, face the ugly parts of yourself you might be afraid to acknowledge because your future will be a lot brighter and you will be a lot more confident when you can get a feel for yourself and why you think and act the way you do, even if it feels scrambled.

anonymous asked:

READ THIS PLEASE-HELP! I feel unwanted by my friends and by my own family. I just want to end all this but I don't know how, I'm just 14 but I've been through a lot. Tumblr and music are the places where I find myself. Idk what to do, it's like the only way out of this is SUICIDE, but even if I want to do it I can't because I'm scared. And if I do it will someone ever miss me? Nobody likes me, even I don't like myself. I cry and suffer too much but the pain does not go away! Pls help me THNX

someone will miss you . i can promise you that . you’re young , you have so much ahead of you . you can make it through it , i know it’s hard now but it will get easier . find something you’re passionate about and pour yourself into it . i’ll be here if you need anything . keep fighting xx

anonymous asked:

Hi there! First of all I really want to thank you for all the hard work you do (translating, answering questions etc!) I have one question that has been bothering me a while I hope you can give me some clear answers, BTS are huge overseas and it is known that BTS are more popular overseas then in their own country, but I when I try to find out how popular they excatly are in Korea I see alot of people saying that they are nobodies in their own country and that korean people dismiss them (1/2)

(2/2) Also alot of armys say that they are underrated and they dont get attention at all and when youtubers go out on the streets nobody knows BTS but when I look at award shows they seem to be quite important (always performing second last, lots of fans cheering, plenty camera time) So long question short : Are they regconized in their own country or are they dismissed like alot of people say? Sory for the long message and I hope you can answer my question!! Have a nice day Rin :)

i apologize for disappointing you as i won’t answer this question, i’m too tired of having to explain a fact to ignorant people, people who don’t live in korea or even speak korean, people who obviously have been holding hatred on bts since forever. i’m just gonna quote yoongi:

The Walking Dead 6x14 sentence prompts

***THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR TWICE AS FAR.

  • ❛ You got another one of those? ❜
  • ❛ You saved ‘em, right? ❜
  • ❛ What’d they do to you? ❜
  • ❛ I just wanted to help. ❜
  • ❛ I know how to use a machete now! ❜
  • ❛ I’ll go alone if I have to! ❜
  • ❛ You’ll die alone. ❜
  • ❛ Hair doesn’t make the man, the man makes the man. ❜
  • ❛ You don’t spit game, you ARE game. ❜
  • ❛ The key to survival is allowing oneself to be shaped by the assigned environment. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve changed, adapted… I’m a survivor. ❜
  • ❛ You’re gonna stay back, got it? ❜
  • ❛ You about ready to spill the pintos on what the hell it is we’re doing here? ❜
  • ❛ And you think you can do that here? ❜
  • ❛ That, my friend, is some damn fine, genuine, outside the box thinking! ❜
  • ❛ I’m gonna hit pause, so I can kill that thing behind you. ❜
  • ❛ I’m formally calling dibs on this one. ❜
  • ❛ I had full control of the situation! ❜
  • ❛ I’m gonna allow you to apologize for saying that… ❜
  • ❛ All do respect… SCREW YOU! ❜
  • ❛ Your services are no longer required. ❜
  • ❛ You’ve outlived your usefulness to me. ❜
  • ❛ Find your own way back, asshole. ❜
  • ❛ You wanna live, you take chances! That’s how it works! ❜
  • ❛ You’re stronger than you think you are which gives me hope that maybe I can be too. ❜
  • ❛ You got something to say to me? ❜
  • ❛ You don’t talk much. ❜
  • ❛ I should’ve killed you. ❜
  • ❛ It’s nothing personal. ❜
  • ❛ Nobody else has to die. ❜
  • ❛ I wasn’t trying to kill you. ❜
  • ❛ I wish it didn’t have to end… not this way. ❜
  • ❛ It was never my intention to hurt you, but it’s how it has to be. ❜
  • ❛ What we have… other people want too. ❜
  • ❛ I’d have to kill for you and I can’t– I won’t. ❜
  • ❛ I can’t love anyone because I can’t kill for anyone. ❜
  • ❛ I’m going like I always should have. ❜
  • ❛ Don’t come after me, please. ❜

anonymous asked:

I really want to try mushrooms. I've been so interested ever since McKenna was shown in hole, its hard for me to even explain it now. The way he told people to just enjoy life for what it is, to just enjoy the ride life you would a trip. Sorry for all the new age hippy shit but I have nobody else to share these thoughts with

Yeah dude, fuck. He had the same effect on me. I didn’t do anything about it but it made me feel different about psychedelics. What if you used them to explore your mind and reality itself? Even just smoking marijuana can have a bit of this effect and makes me relax about a lot of things. It shows you a bunch of things to be grateful for and how you can be a better person. 

I can’t find Terence McKenna’s thing about the self-dribbling basketballs and it was the best. They told him not to give in to awe while taking turns showing him incredible artifacts of light and colour.

Unsteady

Request : Can you do Bucky Barnes with the song Unsteady??? Also i love your blog 😍😍😍

Paring:Bucky x Reader

Words :1248

Warnings : ,  Angst as fuck , abuse, almost rape , but a happy end

Disclamer : i dont won marvel or any song in this blog

Originally posted by starkactual

“ Its over”

Bucky open the door really surprised to see you there. Its 4 am and you are a mess. Your hair is messy and not in waves like used to be, you are in your pajamas, with puffy eyes and a bruise on your check. He let you in and gave you a glass of water and ice for your check “ What are you doing here doll?” your eyes are on the floor and your voice it’s not over a whisper “It’s over” he gets close to you but you jump a little scared “What is over? You put your head on his shoulders “I left him” he runs his fingers on the bruise “he did this to you?“ you say yes.

Bucky never understood how someone could hurt you, you are caring and amazing definitely one of the most intelligent person his ever met. Sure you weren’t perfect he never fought you are but you also never pretend to be.  He met you in an engagement party in the end of the night he was in your apartment and he swears to his life that he never felt this away. Sure the sex was great but was more than that maybe was the away you didn’t judge him for the scars the only thing that he knows it’s that you are special.

You’re not a princess that needs to be saved you are fighter but your only weakness was your father. You never understood but he had so much power over you that he could scream horrible things that even in tears you would always forgive him. He was mean and cruel and always felt the need of controlling your life, nothing was ever good enough for him. Bucky took you away from your thoughts as he place a plate with some food on the coffee table ” You should eat something doll" you deny your stomach is sick any food you put there is not going to be there for too long. He decides not to argue “What happened?“ you take a deep breath you were even supposed to be here but before you can even think you were in his door.

"you know my dad ,he arranged a date with a son of his friend he was nice enough , but at the end of the date he didn’t take no for answer so i smack his head and his balls like you taught me. Well my father came home and he was really mad at me because the father of the guy was really important so i ruin his chances of doing a big deal. The bruise was just my punishment for being a bad daughter “Bucky hated your father with all his heart, he was a sick old man who was abusive to the best daughter he could have asked when he got sick he had move in with you had open your doors for him with open arms. Your father also hated Bucky he made pretty clear that he would die if you dated that man. So you kept your relationship a secret but wasn’t working with your father using you to date every rich man he could find.

"After he hit me i said to him i was never going back that i was dead to him, he laughed and told me that in 3 days I would be back because he owns me. Bucky i don’t want to go back” He start to dry the tears on your face with one hand and with the other he pulls you closer” What do you want baby? I will do anything” you take a deep breath and start to stroke his hair “ Just hold me and don’t let go "Bucky wasn’t ashamed to admit that he loves you and he knows that you love him you spent a lot of happy months before your father come to the picture when the two of you end things there wasn’t anger only sadness and that was only two months ago. Feelings were still fresh.

Bucky helped you to change in his t-shirt and lay with you in bed caressing your back. He didn’t sleep that night he just stay looking at you and how beautiful you looked on the moonlight. "Good morning beautiful, are you better?” You nod “ A little unsteady” “He kiss you and then your forehead ” stay here i will bring you breakfast “ you stay there waiting for him to comeback  with your food as you both eaten he asks ” You meant everything you say last night , you are not going back home ?“ ” Bucky that place was a house not a home, you are my home as long as you want me here of course i don’t want to be a burden to you and don’t feel like you have to be with me…“ he cuts with a kiss.

You two stay most of the day in bed doing nothing, you two talked , order Chinese and eat on bed and do other things as well “Can you help pick up the things in my house ?” He agrees. He can see that you are scared of going back “He is not going to hurt you, i won’t let him “ .

As soon as you open the door your father is there and say ” I knew that you would come back soon, now put some make up and help me" you don’t say anything just go to your room and start to pack your things. You can hear him talk to Bucky “ You two are back together i would like to see how much this will last, you are a monster she is crazy and ungrateful” before you can say anything you heard a noise and Bucky voice “ If you ever think about touch her again i will kill you in the worst away you can imagine and nobody you be there to find your body or cry at your funeral do you understand? answer me ” you heard your father say yes and before you can even think Bucky is helping with a heavy box and saying sorry “ Don’t be”

A couple of months had passed since that day, you receive the notice that your father was gone in his sleep you honestly think that was more than he deserve it. Bucky was with you all that away he never doubt your motivations or why you wanted go to the funeral he was just there by your side until you got closer that you need. Everything he was there being your rock and doing everything you need “How are you feeling baby girl?“ fine just hold me  and don’t let go”

Feel free to request a number or a few of the prompts list

TAGS :@ shamvictoria11 @radiotommo  @love-allthingsmarvel

please leave your feedback i would love to know if you guys are liking or not of my writing

anonymous asked:

My dad constantly asks about boyfriends to me when we meet up and I've expressed to him that I don't like when he asks me this as I don't have an interest in dating (which is basically true) and he calls me weird and selfish saying stuff like he wants grandchildren and I can't help but feel totally unsupported and isolated from everyone and I don't know how I'm meant to feel as if I belong because nobody around me understands this

I’m really sorry that you have to deal with this, because it is in no way respectful to you. Your body is under no one’s control but yours, and your identity is not determined by anyone else but you. It is no one’s right to judge you or make you feel the way that you do because of things that you can’t switch on and off, but unfortunately, people seem to gloss over that. I hope that you can find community elsewhere, at least for the time being, and know that I am always here to support you :)

showerinyaoi  asked:

Can you give me some good games to play?

I haven’t actually played any BL games in forever and must be missing a lot of them but anyway here are some recs:

Hustle Cat by Date Nighto (13+)

Not exactly BL but close enough. Hustle Cat is a VN about how protagonist Avery Grey starts working in a Cat Cafe where all the employees share a secret: they were cursed by a “Witch” and turn into cats once they get out of the cafe! You can pick Avery’s “body type”, skin tone and pronoun.

Hustle Cat has almost all of the elements of what I’d call a good VN: nice art, backgrounds and chara design, overall good writing with few inconsistencies, plus some actual character development in most of the routes. Complete with cats and magic and the result is a fun and refreshing VN experience.

I feel like had Date Nighto been more ambitious with this title, they would have made the story and routes great instead of just good. Still I wouldn’t recommend it if I though HC wasn’t good enough. Ironically, I liked HC better that Date Nighto’s previous and biggest project Starfighter: Eclipse.


Forget-Me-Not by Rosewater Games / Boniae (15+) 

FMN is the story of two teenagers, Emmett and Michael, as they grow closer, fall in love and face many difficulties together. The game deals pretty realistically with subjects like the notion of trust, depression, suicide, drug use, and the harder and the happier sides of being in a romantic relationship. Instead of having “good” and “bad” ends, all 3 endings tackle the couple’s relationship and Michael’s mental state in a different way.

Hands down, this is my fave BL EVN! FMN has good music picks, good overall art that does more than just being pretty and depict accurately the characters’s emotions and perception on things, and best of all the writing is solid and would make give many writers a run for their money. And this is coming from someone who usually does not like high-schooler romance.

Forget is not just a good BL game or EVN. It is a good Visual Novel and nobody can convince me otherwise. 100% would recommend.


Coming Out On Top by ObscuraSoft (18+)

COOT is about how university student Mark (or whatever name you give him) decides to come out of the closet to his friends, live his life fully and find love.

Okay, I haven’t gotten around to play the full thing properly but I do know that 1°) the story isn’t groundbreaking and it doesn’t try to be, 2°) the art and anatomy are good, 3°) Obscura is still adding new content to the game which you can enjoy just by buying it game (not DLCs!) and 4°) this game is so damn hilarious I laughed my ass out a handful of times in the demo alone.

So basically if you’re feeling sad, playing COOT is very likely to make you feel better and Obscura has good policies and even 4channers want you to support the author by buying it legally.

Also I’m only dropping their titles here because they got more than enough coverage in other blogs/websites already but all Nitro+CHiRAL games (Togainu no Chi, Lamento, DMMd, Sweet Pool) are good choices if you don’t mind the gore and non-con. Same with with Pa-Rade’s No Thank You!!!.

anonymous asked:

What are the differences between unhealthy INTJs and INFJs? How different would be their manipulation on people, and their negative behavior if they were in the loop? thank you!

I’m trying not to be overly simplistic in my answer, so please bear with me!

Differences between unhealthy INTJs and unhealthy INFJs could be found in their defense and coping mechanisms. In INTJs, Te is their Auxiliary function – they may be more naturally inclined to help themselves by being assertive and methodical. In INFJs, Fe is their Auxiliary function – they may be more naturally inclined to help themselves by revising and readjusting their stance in relation to others. This is unless the impairment they are experiencing is more specific to other functions. And if not properly handled, their actions could be detrimental rather than grant them the healthy state they seek and/or need.

When they are being manipulative, they fall into a mentality of “the end justifies the means,” in which, no, the end does not justify the means and they do not or barely experience remorse for what is sacrificed in the process. INTJs are more likely to be tactical (Te) and INFJs are more likely to be persuasive (Fe).  When they are not being manipulative, they are sensible. They take into account the needs of others and the reality of the situation to shape their vision (Ni) accordingly before offering solutions and guidance.  There’s more of “These are the options I see. What do you think? Do you see another way?” and less of “This is the only option there is. It does not matter what you think. There is no other way.” (With the exception of when the latter is truly the case)

When they are in the loop, they are caught in a relatively severe condition of being unable to easily call up and use their Auxiliary function. The INTJ continually values and devalues (Fi) their impressions (Ni), overindulging in things that are ultimately not fulfilling and/or drowning in confusion and self-hate, and finds it difficult to organize their thoughts and/or tasks (Te). To break the loop they can activate Extroverted Thinking: this is what is happening, this is what needs to be fixed, this is what I can do about it, this is what I will do, this is how I am going to do it – and tackles it. In contrast, the INFJ continually examines and criticizes (Ti) their impressions (Ni), making details and short-comings seem much more defining and worse than they actually are, and finds it difficult to see how they are being too hard on themselves and how they are still worthy and their mistakes redeemable (Fe). To break the loop they can activate Extroverted Feeling: this is not so bad, nobody is perfect, we can still make it right, I will listen to what people who care about me has to say about this, I learned from this so I can contribute better next time – and gets involved.

I hope this helped!

Forsaking the Stars ch. 11

Ten years after Weirdmeggedon: After all these years, one would think Mabel would have learned to look with her eyes, not her hands. But what trouble ever came from touching a statue?

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

The late afternoon heat was making Mabel sleepy, but she dared not fall asleep while the bikes were moving. Reg had rented them 3 cross county motorbikes, though they were almost more like small cars than bikes. They sat in pairs, Candy and Grenda together, Pacifica and Dipper on a bike, and Mabel with Reg who agreed to come along to show them the way to the village. Tomorrow they’d be following the river by foot.

Mabel cast a look to her right, where Dipper was riding with Pacifica behind him, arms curled around his chest in a way that was less for security and more like an embrace. When is my idiot brother going to realize she’s in love with him? Mabel thought with a slight shake of her head. Dipper could be so dense sometimes.

Keep reading

On the last night I saw you

I knew something was wrong

That everything was about to change


You didn’t want to hold me


When I invited you to shower with me

Like we always did

You didn’t move

You pretended you were sleeping


Maybe you really were


But how could I know when you were always so good at pretending?

Like the way you pretended to care

Or the way you pretended she meant nothing to you


I should have seen it

Or you know…

Maybe I did


But I didn’t want to admit

That you

The person I was starting to fall in love with

Could be this horrible person

Someone I didn’t know


I trusted you

And

I shouldn’t have


On the last night I saw you

You made me feel unwanted

Like you never cared in the first place

And now I know that you never really did


Days passed and we weren’t talking much

Just a text here and there


They say words hurt but I don’t think anyone’s mentioned

That the written ones are the worst

They hurt the most


Because words spoken can be forgotten

I mean, they are all the time

But something you read

Over

And over

And over again

Will always stay with you


In the deepest parts of your heart

And your mind and your entire being


I will never forget those things

I wish I could

But I can’t


I’ve let you go

But

My heart will never rid the feeling of how it felt

When I read those terrible terrible words you wrote

Just for me


I think about those written words everyday

And every time I do

Another piece of my heart breaks away and goes missing


Nobody can find it


It’s lost

Just like the girl I use to be

Before those written words

—  Me(Title: Written Words)