how can he be soooooooo pretty!!

some alec and magnus headcanons:

(and more headcanons since i guess i can’t stop)

  • magnus is 100% the type of person who has a song for every occasion. alec knows almost none of them, but you’ll still catch him singing the lyrics he’s learned from magnus sometimes. he doesn’t have nearly the same sense of timing that magnus does though.
    • after alec leaves sometimes, magnus will sing the line “i’m outta my head hopelessly devoted to you” at the door behind him and alec catches him at it once but doesn’t let him know until he surprises him with a (terrible) rendition of the full song with the lyrics rewritten to be positive on what would have been his anniversary with lydia, if magnus hadn’t asked just once more. this is excellent timing. magnus cries.
  • magnus introduces alec to pop music. and to sex music – both the concept and his own playlist. alec thinks that maybe jace wasn’t always wrong about getting more familiar with the mundane world but he doesn’t regret putting it off til now for a second.
  • in addition to saying his full name as though it were the only word that’s ever mattered as a term of endearment, magnus calls alec “dear heart.” alec loves this more than anything.
  • magnus finds alec’s enthusiastic inexperience to be devastatingly charming in bed.
  • it helps also that alec takes direction well. extremely well.
  • alec, for his part, loves direction. loves knowing without doubt how to make magnus feel good. loves making magnus feel good. also he learns so much. soooooooo much. he had no idea there were so many positions for this type of thing. so many uses for hands and tongues. so many reasons to laugh in breathless, boundless joy while gettin’ jiggy with it (a phrase magnus bans him from using, can hardly believe he even uttered in the first place).
  • alec likes whiskey sours and pretty much no other kind of alcoholic beverage. (he can be talked into amaretto sours and will take orange juice in either – the latter is how magnus excuses their occasional breakfast drinking: “it’s just a variation on the mimosa theme, alexander.” he looks up at alec from over his own full glass, coy in full effect. “drink with me.” alec’s weak for this and he’s fine with it.) it takes them an entire day devoted to finding alec a drink he likes to discover it and as soon as magnus sees alec with it, he thinks “duh” and never offers him vodka anything ever again.
  • alec does get righteously drunk on vodka once – straight vodka, on his own. something goes bad at the institute – magnus never does find out quite what – and neither izzy nor jace are speaking to alec, for their own reasons, and alec shows up at magnus’ loft drunk off his ass. he chose vodka because it seemed faster and painful – magnus sees him gazing at his raw hand on the fire escape – and he pukes over and over and over again with magnus leaning over him feeling murderous towards everyone who had anything to do with alec feeling this way. they get through the night in magnus’ bathroom, alec telling him painful, incoherent things the whole time. magnus does not cure his hangover the next day, though he wants to, because he does not do things to alec’s body without permission – bar instances of immediate threat to alec’s life or someone else’s – and he does not have permission.
    • (there’s one particular story that alec tells about how proud his mother was of him taking a punishment doled out when he was a child, for being too good at something – “no one even knew it hurt, i couldn’t lay on my back for a week, but no one knew,” he tells magnus proudly. magnus thinks seriously that he’s going to be the one puking now. he also thinks that someone should save all four of maryse’s kids from her and save her from herself if that’s at all possible at this point. he thinks he’s gonna have to not be in a room with her for a very long time.)
  • after that alec decides that talking to magnus while sober is always a better dealing-with-shit strategy if he doesn’t want to wake up to his boyfriend insisting that he unpack some of the emotional issues he accidentally spilled to him and holding an overwhelming plate of the world’s fluffiest pancakes, saying, “you’re gonna wanna eat sooner rather than later, alec. yes i know this sucks, dear heart, but trust me. also, try to drink your body weight in water, starting right now.”
  • magnus has little to no concept of alec being just as gone on him as he is on alec and when alec figures that out, he spends a lot more time staring lovingly at magnus when they talk. he also gets a lot more handsy in public and magnus has had to pull him off of more than a few people who make snide comments about a warlock with a shadowhunter. soon, the spell where he pulls alec back by the fist is so familiar to them both that alec routinely takes it into a full backwards somersault and pops up on his feet at magnus’ side, where magnus has stepped to give him room to stick the landing.
  • magnus has a thing for ’90s bollywood. alec is still trying to figure out which songs are imaginary and which are actually happening in the story. he learns how to say “i love you” in hindi though and uses it a lot. he also uses the pet names he picks up, though he hasn’t quite grasped the pronunciations for most of them yet. he’s trying and honestly, most of the time magnus can’t hear it past the pounding of his pulse in his ears anyway because alec doesn’t do terms of endearment lightly so magnus doesn’t hear them lightly.
  • the first time magnus saw alec without his pants on he said, “boxer briefs, thank god.”
    • he followed this up by licking just above the waistband where it rested on alec’s stomach, hands on alec’s hips. this set off the biggest stutter spell in alec to date, which only calmed down after magnus kissed him on the mouth three times, i.e. once he had no choice but to use all his air for recovery.
  • magnus buys a punching bag for his loft. for shirtless alec reasons.
  • using it is alec’s version of “come hither” at least half the time.
  • they get caught fooling around in alec’s room at the institute – by clary, of course, because she, like jace, has no concept of knocking – exactly once before they never do that again. jace actually has to pay raj off to get him to stop talking about it. raj was passing by when clary spooked them and they started grabbing clothes and pulling on the wrong ones (magnus too frazzled to magick them clothed again which has never happened in his life but being intimate with alec just. throws him the fuck off his game) and he regards it as the best moment of his life. alec and magnus regard it as one of their worst. although that thing with his tongue that alec had figured out how to do just before that moment was pretty special, in magnus’ opinion.
  • alec is drifting one morning, laying against magnus’ chest in their bed, when he asks about the name magnus’ mother gave him. magnus tells him. “mm,” alec buzzes. “i think we should offer that name to the first child we adopt. they can take it as a middle name maybe.” and then he’s gone, completely asleep. magnus’ heart trembles.

HEY, luckily for all of you, I thought of an elaborate metaphor to express my X-Files feelings; here goes.

Years ago, this baker came up with a recipe for some oatmeal raisin cookies. They had raisins in them but also a lot of brown sugar and butter and a subtle blend of spices and other good stuff. Chocolate chips even. The raisins were well-balanced so that their sweetness perfectly complemented the cookie overall; even people who weren’t big into raisins enjoyed them. Now, the baker LOVES raisins, but he had a lot of assistants who worked with him to tweak the recipe so that no flavor dominated. Sure, they’re called “oatmeal raisin cookies,” but, you know, that doesn’t mean people just want to eat a pile of oatmeal and raisins, obviously! Haha.

The cookies were super popular and a huge seller for the bakery. For a brief time they actually made the town, and the baker, famous. After a while other kinds of cookies became more popular and took over, but at some point people were like “hey remember those amazing oatmeal raisin cookies?? Let’s ask the baker to make those again!” The baker was excited that people remembered them so fondly, and was delighted to make them again. He didn’t remember the EXACT precise mix of ingredients they had used back then, but he figured he would start with the basics: oatmeal; raisins; it’s a tried-and true formula! Obviously it had worked last time! And, who doesn’t love raisins?? They’re sweet and chewy! Not that the cookies NEEDED any improvements, but if there WERE improvements to be made, it would obviously be more raisins.

He recreates the cookies, not skimping on the raisins, and everyone is so excited that they are back! Oatmeal raisin cookies! Remember those?? They were SO GOOD! The people have such residual affection for those cookies, and such fond memories of eating them as kids and how fantastic they tasted, and they line up to buy them! And they are…good! There is still a nice butter and brown sugar taste, and raisins, which, obviously, it’s in the name, so, that’s important, right? There are…so many raisins. The people LOVE these cookies though. They’re a classic! Were there this many raisins last time?

The baker is delighted by the success of the cookies and he keeps adding more and more raisins, because obviously, what he’s doing is working, right?? People keep buying them! Clearly they love raisins as much as he does! Otherwise, why would they be so into something called “oatmeal raisin cookies”? More raisins can only make it better! He would know, right? Considering he created these cookies in the first place?? He adds more and more and more raisins. People will get their cookie and be excited, and take a bite and be like, uh holy fuck that’s a lot of raisins, but I mean, they’re still great cookies! And I remember them so fondly! So the baker is like EXCELLENT THEY LOVE THE RAISINS SOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUCCCHHHH and he starts a raisin farm so he can have an endless supply of raisins and he hires bakery assistants who love raisins as much as him (including some of the assistants who worked there before and are like “Did we use this many raisins last time? I guess we must have”), and people keep buying the cookies, because the part you can taste around the fucking thousands of raisins is still pretty yummy, but that part keeps getting smaller and smaller. But! Remember how much we loved these cookies as kids! People keep buying them and eternally hoping that they will capture that delicious balance that they used to have. They can almost taste it. They buy more and more, looking for that taste again. They eat a LOT of raisins while doing that.

Sometimes the bakery will get a negative review, like, “yeah, I do remember when these cookies used to be good, but now it’s just like eating a fucking entire box of raisins and I got indigestion and what happened to the chocolate chips?? There weren’t a LOT of chocolate chips but they were so good. And didn’t there used to be spices? I don’t taste any of that anymore. This dude is obsessed with raisins and these cookies suck now. One star.” The baker does NOT let this get him down! Obviously these naysayers don’t understand him or his lifelong skill at making oatmeal raisin cookies. Anyone looking for chocolate chips in these cookies is looking in the wrong place, buster! Why don’t you just eat a Mars bar? Geez. He keeps on doing what he knows best.

Meanwhile you have the bakery front staff having to sell and cheerlead these raisiny cookies that people keep coming in and being excited about. They have sampled them, and privately they are like, “What the FUCK is with these cookies that are like 95% raisins?? THIS is the thing this baker is known for? THIS is the thing these people are lining up to buy?” They work there (and have worked there for a long time, including back in the day when the oatmeal raisin cookies first got popular and they barely had time to try them because of the lines outside the door and the unending busy-ness of their shifts), and they have a job to do and they’re professionals for pete’s sake (and loyal to this baker who has employed them for so long), and all they know is that people are so enthusiastic about these cookies, and that’s nice, even if they don’t really understand why. (Sometimes they will take a bite and be like “yeah, I kinda get it” but most of the time it’s just, my god these are so raisiny. SO RAISINY. But OK, people love raisins, I guess.) 

So they keep saying things like, “Yup, well, he has this recipe and obviously he knows what he’s doing, he’s been making these cookies for so long! Well, enjoy those! Have a great day!” People leave with their boxes of oatmeal raisin cookies and in the car they start eating them and they’re like “…this is a lot of raisins” but mostly what the front staff see are people excitedly paying for their cookies and leaving. Plus, they are committed to the whole endeavor at this point, so if people take a bite of their cookie in the bakery and are like “…THE HELL ARE THERE SO MANY RAISINS IN THIS” they will get irritated, and say, well, that’s what they’re called, oatmeal raisin cookies! People love them, sorry they’re not to your taste, but, you know, they’re a classic, so obviously other people feel differently, lol! Then they kind of glare at that person as they walk out the door.

If asked directly about how they feel about the cookies, the front staff will be like, “Um, well, uh, just in my OWN life in my own particular tastes I generally prefer cookies that have…more of a variety of flavor, I guess, but obviously these oatmeal raisin cookies are a town classic and everyone loves them. And, I mean, they’re great! You know, we don’t do the baking, haha! We leave that to our eminently talented boss! And we are so inspired that people enjoy them so much!” Which, you know, they are. The bakery has been good to them, and if people seem to be bafflingly crazy for what at this point pretty much amounts to piles of raisins stuck together in a patty and baked in an oven, who are they to object?

Eventually people, not even really knowing why themselves, stop coming to the bakery and buying the oatmeal raisin cookies. “These millennials, all they want today is gluten-free stuff,” the baker sighs. He makes another batch of cookies. He thinks maybe he’ll try adding some more raisins. That can only improve them. Hey, it’s always worked in the past!

And, scene.

anonymous asked:

i love Ferre who is just great with children, like they love him and he loves them, but just give me some Ferre who is shy and awkward and insecure towards children at first because he has no idea how they work (even if he loves them)

I mean… Combeferre wasn’t a cool kid. Like.. AT ALL. He’s cool now as an adult but damn he spent his childhood reading books and making friends with ladybugs for crying out loud! What do kids even LIKE these days??? Table top RPG? Space conquest? Who knows? Not him.

So one time he had to babysit Courfeyrac’s nephews. Don’t get me wrong, he LOVES kids. He just doesn’t know how to DEAL with them. And those are bilinguals kids, so it’s even more complicated. He has no idea what they’re saying! Courfeyrac’s spanish lessons aren’t exactly kid friendly!

“Soooooooo kids…. The Cursed Child… Pretty messed up right?”

The kids look at him, eyes wide like flying saucers.

“Harry Potter? Anyone? That’s… oh my god…”

“I watched all the movies!”

“Yeah me too!”

Oh! Finally something he can work with!

“Oh nice! Well…. Maybe Courfeyrac didn’t tell you but… I’m Beauxbatons’ Potion Master assistant. I could show you some potions if you want!”

And that’s how Combeferre tricked Courfeyrac’s nephew into learning chemistry for a full afternoon. He lends them his Harry Potter books because damn it boys read it there’s a lot of cool stuff in there