how can he be real

anonymous asked:

alright but ned holding peter after spidey has a nightmare/flashback es my vidaaaaaa ❤️

fast forward to post infinity war. peter has really bad ptsd now, he already did before but almost dying in space at the hands of a purple madman has a tendency to amplify the bad things inside your head.

since then, he finds himself sleeping next to others a lot. he asks may to sleep by him, she calms him down when he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. mj sleeps over a lot more now too. he hasn’t asked ned to sleep over yet. for some reason he wants ned to be ignorant to how broken he has become. he’s not quite sure why, perhaps it’s some toxic masculinity that he needs to work on.

but one night he has no choice. may is out on a date, spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. he likes that may is putting herself out there, he doesn’t wanna call her and ask her to come home. and it’s nearly four in the morning, he’s not gonna call mj and wake her up. he lays in bed, hyperventilating, sweat pouring out of his skin. when he closes his eyes he can see tony looking over him. death and destruction all around him. he knows that if he doesn’t calm down soon he’ll see it even when his eyes are open, he needs to calm down before that happens.

he swallows what resolve he had left and calls ned. the phone feels like it rings for hours.

“hello?” ned says, very alert. ned is always up late, especially on friday nights. he can hear a video game in the background.

“come over,” peter whispers, voice shaking.

the video game pauses, and he can tell that ned is taking him off speaker.

“dude, are you okay? you sound -”

“just please come over, ned,” his voice breaks and goes watery, he feels like he’s choking on the air in his lungs.

“yeah, okay. okay, i’ll be right over.”

“please be safe,” peter groans, but ned has already hung up.

he gets up and goes to unlock the apartment door, and then sits on the ground next to it. he feels like if he tries to walk back to his room he could pass out. this episode is worse than the others he’s had. he feels like he can see the stars of space shining around him. corpses floating in the darkness. he buries his face into his knees and begins to cry as he waits for ned.

after about 27 minutes (not that peter was counting), the door opens. it startled him and he lets out a choked sob, and ned drops down to peter and immediately begins to soothe him.

“pete, what happened?? are you hurt?? where’s may?????”

peter takes a few deep breaths, trying to even his breathing. but it isn’t working and he feels himself getting lightheaded, tears and snot are running down his face.

“hey.” ned grabs the sides of peter’s face and puts their foreheads together. he hold’s peter’s eye contact. “breathe with me. breathe with me nice and slow. breathe with me.”

and peter tries. he struggles with it, but ned is patient. after about 10 minutes peter’s breathing evenly again, and his head feels lighter. he’s still alight with tension, but it feels slightly better.

“okay… yeah, that’s better. okay. what happened?”

“i…. i had a nightmare. i can’t get out of it. may is at her girlfriend’s house, i don’t wanna call her it’s taken her so long to be with somebody after uncle ben….. i usually call mj when may isn’t here but it’s so late, i knew you would be awake. i’m sorry ned, i’m sorry.”

ned looks at him sadly, but quickly tries to school his features to be more neutral. “how long has this been happening?”

peter looks up at him guiltily. “since the war. since that thanos guy. it happens almost every night.”

“peter..” ned says, he runs his fingers through peter’s hair and then cups peter’s face into the warmth of his palm. “peter, that was 8 months ago. this has been happening for that long?”

peter leans into his touch. he’s calming down. ned’s hands are big and warm and soft, he can feel them drawing the distress out of him. “i’m beginning to think it won’t ever really stop. i…. i just didn’t want you to think i was weak.”

ned groans. he’s frustrated, peter can tell. he wants to apologize, but he knows that ned isn’t mad at him, so he bites it back. “pete. you’re my best friend, i want to be here for you. you aren’t weak, anyone would come out of that less than okay. it’s okay to not be okay, peter.”

tears are lazily rolling down peter’s cheeks.

“i know,” he whispers.

“no you don’t.”

peter laughs, and ned smiles sadly.

“i’m trying to know that. i will eventually, i promise.”

ned slumps next to peter, and pulls him onto his lap. he hugs him close, and peter tucks his head underneath ned’s chin.

“what do you need?” ned asks, rubbing peter’s arm.

peter is quiet for a moment, thinking. he can feel the attack moving out of him, still there, but slowly being drained. waves of exhaustion are beginning to crash into him, like a tide. he feels like it could wash him away. he tries to focus on ned, how real he is. how he smells, how he feels, how he holds peter. ned is real. the nightmare wasn’t.

“can we just stay like this for awhile?”

ned’s arms tighten around him, and peter feels a rush of love. he loves ned so much.

“yeah, we can stay like this for as long as you need, peter.”

If you heard anyone yell this morning it was me right after finding out dgm’s on this month’s SQ Crown holy f uck

What Even’s POV taught us

How he sees himself 

last season we watched Even Bech Næsheim come into Isak’s life, open his locker, kiss him underwater and save him from a life of sadness, shame and inauthenticity. 

We watched him light Isak’s world up, give him a reason to love who he is and share it with the world. We watched as Isak spent every second believing it was impossible for Even to love him back because how could someone who literally resembled the sun, love Isak. It would be almost a dream. But he does and now despite all of that we see- Even thinks he isn’t good enough for Isak. 

he truly can’t believe that he has managed to find someone like Isak, this boy who he loves more than anything else, who reminds him he is not alone, who spends minute by minute at his side through all of the ups and downs the world throws at him. he can’t believe it so much that he is convinced that he doesn’t deserve it. 

now we know what Even thinks of himself and it is this. 

he thinks he is not enough
he thinks he doesn’t deserve the love Isak showers him with
and that he isn’t capable of being enough
of proving his worth
and somehow he thinks he has to 
he thinks he needs to somehow prove to himself that he does deserve love
even though he doesn’t believe it. 

he is forever plagued with thoughts that he isn’t worth this and he doesn’t deserve to be loved 

but

what else we learnt in Even’s pov

he is more than enough

how can Even not see it? the power he has to save Isak from the thoughts that plague his own mind, the way he can make the world disappear around them both so he can make Isak focus on him, his voice his eyes, his calm smile that continues to remind him, they are okay, he is here Isak is not alone, he is loved and nothing else matters. 

how can he not see the way he makes Isak better, calmer, happier, free, real. The way his love makes him stronger and changes everything around him for the better. 

Even Bech Næsheim is more than enough

his love, his kindness, his everlasting comfort and laughter is more than enough

not just for Isak

but for the world. <3

3

My acne has cleared, my anxiety is cured, my life now has a meaning

4

This was Macen’s idea, I’m glad he got to live to see it through. Thanks, Scott.

7

Wyatt ‘I HATE ROLEPLAY’ Logan [except ‘Undercover Lovers’ with Lucy]

anonymous asked:

can you believe… Seb is out there,, living and breathing??

I know, right. he’s living and breathing while he’s killing us slowly with just being him. I mean, how dare he. 

He has some nerve with these eyes

and these hip bones

and these arms

and this tongue

and those thighs

and those legs

and dat ass

SJM accent challenge
Krish from dorianthekinkymf
SJM accent challenge

Sarah J. Maas Accent Challenge

Okay so this is like my 12th try at recording this and when i was finally happy tumblr was super fussy and wanted an MP3 under 10 mb so i had to figure out how to convert this, but FINALLY DONE. Also i sound super weird on tape and talk super fast, so i apologise. Also i’m so extra that i have the Downton Abbey soundtrack playing in the background

This challenge was invented by @ilikebigbooks-and-icannotlie who is a genius because this is super fun to do. I’ve been tagged by a whole bunch of people: @feysandsmut , @runesandfaes , @readinglikewildfire , @feysandfeels , @fiery-feyre , @2-bookmaster-2 , @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks who are all amazing and i really enjoyed listening to all your posts!!

The questions: 

Name and username:

Where are you from?

Pronounce the following words:
Archeron, Rhysand, Cresseida, Thesan, Rhoe Galathynius, Illyrian, Manon, Abraxos, Prythian, Lucien, Ianthe, Suriel, Bryaxis, Carridwen and Nuala, Elide, Velaris, Rowan Whitethorn, Chaol Westfall, Yrene Towers, Nehemia Ytger, Rifthold, Adarlan, Crochan, Kaltain Rompier, Sorscha, Dorian Havilliard, Lyria, Asterion horse, Valg, Eyllwe, wyrdmarks, rowaelin, feysand

How did you find out about the books?

When did you start reading them?

Favorite character from TOG?

Favorite character from ACOTAR?

Have you read The Assassin’s Blade? Do you plan on reading the ACOTAR Novellas?

Favorite ship/s?

Read a page from your favorite book from TOG (or ACOTAR):

Which scene destroyed you the most?

If you read fanfiction, name your favorite or some of your favorites:

Fave headcanons?

Favorite quote/s?

If you could choose any piece of media to readapt the Maasverse in, what would you choose? (e.g: movie(s), tv show(s), animation, a musical, videogames, etc)

TOG or ACOTAR? Why?

Which would be your ACOTAR Court? Why?

And last but not least, say 3 unpopular opinions. Do it, go off

I tag: @rowanrhysand , @cassianandfenrysaremyboyos , @findserendipity , @a-song-of-stars-and-dreams , @shyvioletcat , @lronteeth , @propshophannah , @deziremyacotar , @micmac21 , @a-court-of-pain-and-night , @seeliequeenofprythian , @starzablaze , @acourtofblackthornsandherondales , @rhysand-vs-rowan , @feyreismeiamfeyre , @highladyyfeyre@illyrian-high-lord @fck-tamlin , @illyriangoddess , @aqueenpromised , @highladyofdreamcourt , @nessiansmut , @vannserra

And i’m super sorry if any of you have been tagged already because it’s really hard to keep track of this. And anyone else who wants to do this, go ahead and pls tag me so that I can listen to your challenge!! 

Petty opinion time:  for all the times the Night Court’s food is brought up, it is super boring white people food. If SJM had to completely appropriate ME culture for the Night Court, she could have at least had them eating ME food instead of boiled chicken and green beans.