how bad it gets

i watched the handmaiden today. besides the fact that it was just a good, interesting movie, both the women survived and they got to be together. it’s sad that the bar is set that low for media with wlw in it, but here we are


anonymous asked:

I can feel it. I can fucking feel it hitting I'm numb but emotional and my chest feels weird and my head is out of it and I know I'm getting to that point that edge and I'm so scared because the last time I got there I almost just gave in to everything that screams at me during those times. It was so bad I was so scared. I can't imagine how bad it could get if I get there again.

Title: Love At First Sight? (Part 11.)

Character(s): Denny and Jess (fictional/original character).
Summary: Denny gets some good news.
Word Count: 2,015
Author’s Note: Fluff, fluff, fluff (also some talk of sex hehe)!! This story has a couple of chapters left until the end, so stay tuned! ;) 

Tag list: @memphisgirl1977​ , @clinicalkayla​ , @lostxwanderess , @negan–is–god , @trashforwinchesters​ , @heartfulloffandoms​ , @sweetsweetpeach , @chicitytitties
Gif belongs to @heartfulloffandoms 

It had been a couple of days since Denny’s heart had to be shocked due to the fast heart rate. I had cried every night and Denny was always there to soothe me, to reassure me that everything will work out. He said that things would have to get worse before it could get better, but how worse could it get? It was already bad as it is and the LVAD wasn’t doing its job to the best of its ability.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks, shaking me out of my thoughts.

“It’s just – I can’t remember when I had a good night sleep and I’m pretty sure you don’t remember either. I just want you to be okay. I keep staring at the door hoping Dr. Burke will walk in with some good news.”

“Jess… I’ve waited five years for this heart. I can wait a bit longer.”

“But you don’t know if you’re getting a heart, Denny.”

“Where’s my optimistic girlfriend?”

“She heard you scream in pain. She witnessed your doctors having to shock your heart in order for it to stabilize.”

Denny sighs, taking my hand instantly in his. I couldn’t lie down with him. If I did, I knew I would break down again and he didn’t need that. He needed me to remain positive but how can I when the sounds of his pained screams echoed in my mind?

“I’m going to be okay, Jess.”

“Don’t start with that, Denny.”

Keep reading

It’s almost five and I haven’t taken anything for the pain even though I’ve had the whole day off (usually that means I am medicated as soon as I feel it coming). I did actually have to take one of my “help I’m dying” pain meds last night that I save for baaad pain that keeps me up but today I was even able to play OW several hours earlier than I usually can. I’m still trying to see how long I can go before it gets so bad I really need something. It’s just now making me woozy and foggy so I’m in bed with some magnesium oil, a nice blend in the diffuser, my heated blanket, and my special spine pillow. I even did yoga, dishes, catbox, shower, cooking two meals, photo editing, and taxes today. That’s so many things in one day, it’s crazy. And I don’t think I’ve used a spicy patch in over a week and this is also interesting considering my massage this week had to be rescheduled and I would normally expect more pain from missing it. Cool, cool, let’s keep this going.

Rest time, nini

hey! i was tagged by @goataricrossing in a little info thing so here we go :D

Height: 5'7 so fairly tall imo

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor but I’m also very close to Hufflepuff

Favorite Color: Electric Blue

Favorite Animal: I really really like otters

Average Hours of Sleep: Like… 5-7 depending on how bad my insomnia gets :’)

Favorite Fictional Character: ohhh my god. oh my god i would fucking take a bullet for juzo sakakura. mercury black and rosayla from my candy love are both close seconds tho, but i love juzo so much,,,

Number of Blankets I sleep with: 2, but ones really heavy and fluffy. it’s also something i would take a bullet for.

Favorite Singers/Bands: BAD SUNS!!! I love them so much and I’ve been following them since their debut and they just released a new album and they deserve more recognition tbh! Also Casey Lee Williams is an amazing singer and ALSO deserves more recognition!

Dream Trip: I’d love to go to Russia or London someday!

Dream Job: zoologist, or anything to do with animals really!

When this blog was created:  like may 2013? i was around in 2012 tho jesus

Current Follower count: 1,044! I have around 2,000 if you want to count my side blogs tho!

Why I created this blog: I saw a lot of people making animal crossing blogs and i wanted to make one too, but now it’s kinda evolved into a nintendo blog :3c

now i have to tag 10 people i’d like to get to know better SO

@aseasoninseason @glamoore-gamer @windy-scribbles @mirrorcoat @psmd @symphonysoldierr @becschi @thomasservo @mehsprit @mexipika

if i tagged you in this you’re either a friend, somebody i’d like to get to know better or my sister lmao

How to tell that it's getting bad again:

- I sleep to much or not at all
-I eat too much or too little
-I sound disinterested in everything
-Be spaced out a lot
- I will ramble a lot or not talk at all
-I lose track of time
- I make cynical comments, usually about myself
-I push people away
-I tend to rub my eyes and head a lot
-I avoid eye contact
-I am always shakey
-I will avoid certain conversations

i want to tell you a story. it’s a story about a 17 year old boy from columbus ohio, with a rubber band on his wrist and bad thoughts in his head who writes about trees and saying hello. it’s a story about a 20 year old boy from ohio who makes this musical group, and starts to need his rubber band less, and puts his words in to music. it’s a story about a 22 year old boy from ohio, whose life isn’t going quite the way he thought it would but he’s made a new friend, a new brother, and this new friend is helping him project the words he once feared to say, louder and further than he ever thought possible. it’s a story about a 24 year old boy from ohio who has stopped wearing his rubber band completely, and who is singing the world his darkest thoughts, at first afraid of rejection, but growing confidence as he hears the world sing back. it’s a story about a 27 year old boy from ohio, with tattoos lining his wrist where a rubber band once was, who stands in one of the biggest venues in america and sings to nearly 30,000 people about trees and saying hello. 

i want to tell you a story. it’s a story about a boy who made it. and i want you to know that you can make it too. you are not a sad story. you are not hopeless. you will sing about your own trees one day.

nice canadian men, i fear that an angry orange child may soon be running my country… this is absolutely unthinkable to me. with this being said, i hope that one of you would be kind enough to undergo the small task of marrying me. i promise i’m not much of a burden, i mostly stay on my laptop and keep all my shit in one small area. i will gladly share my clothing and memes with you. thank you for your time, zack.



Anyone in the mood to be completely amazed and inspired?

let dan and phil make money without complaining 2k17