how bad can i possibly lesbian

though while i’m thinking about it, i have to say i’ve gotten tired of bi discourse that prioritizes m/f relationships. 

from an empathy standpoint, i totally understand being bisexual and feeling alienated in lgbt spaces if, say, you’re a bi man who happens to be dating a woman right now. i get that it sucks. but you know what probably sucks more? being a bi man who happens to be dating another man and experiencing homophobia every time you participate in the real world. 

obviously i don’t support mocking a bisexual person specifically with regards to their sexuality (”pick a side” etc). and obviously i acknowledge that gay men and lesbians do levy those sorts of comments at bisexuals! it’s shitty! i don’t cosign that! 

but when i see someone crying on tumblr dot com about “you’re only validating half of our sexuality!!! and that’s just as bad as straight people who invalidate our same gender attraction!!” it makes my eyes cross. how can you possibly think that’s an apt comparison? how can you possibly think it matters? 

again i’m not advocating for open hostility towards bi people who have non-gay partners but the fact that some of you actually expect us “monosexuals” to VALIDATE you? to sit there and pat your back and say “gee brian, i’m so happy that you’re dating jessica. that’s really brave of you. you’re so valid.”?? fuck off. 

📱 TFLN Starters – 10/?? 📱

  • [text]: My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words “I probably should’ve thought this through” typed over and over
  • [text]: You’re a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
  • [text]: I got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
  • [text]: There’s no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
  • [text]: I didn’t punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
  • [text]: you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were “frozen”
  • [text]: can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
  • [text]: Apparently “I licked it so it’s mine” doesn’t apply to people
  • [text]: Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
  • [text]: Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone’s dog?
  • [text]: No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
  • [text]: For a second I thought you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
  • [text]: I’m fine with our borderline lesbian behavior
  • [text]: He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange… I want whatever he was on.
  • [text]: Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone’s hair?
  • [text]: And please let him know I don’t normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
  • [text]: She asked if I had any questions. Apparently “how thick is the stick up your ass” was not a correct question.
  • [text]: she broke up with me using backstreet boys lyrics
  • [text]: YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ ON YOUR HEADSTONE
  • [text]: It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I’ve never felt so free.
  • [text]: we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
  • [text]: I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
  • [text]: It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka.
  • [text]: You named all of the cocktail shrimps and tthen tackled a guy for “eating Henry”
  • [text]: just move in with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..

its often difficult for me to accept how good my relationship is because its still so deeply ingrained in me that being a lesbian is a bad thing and nothing good can come of it, and that i don’t deserve a mutually loving, respectful relationship anyway. it drives me to hyperexamine my relationship for deep flaws that don’t exist because a large part of me is incapable of believing it’s possible for me to have a relationship - let alone a relationship with another woman - that is as wonderful as mine is. but every so often i have these beautiful moments where i’m able to step away from all of that internalized shit and fully accept how fucking incredible my relationship with my girlfriend is and it’s the best feeling in the world. how can lesbianism be bad if it’s given me the most amazing relationship in the world

Reminder that if you’re trying to figure out gender and sexuality it is totally okay to focus on what you *want* first and then, if necessary, turn that into a statement about who/what you are.

Your questioning doesn’t have to start out as “am I a woman?” “Am I a lesbian?” “Am I asexual?” etc.

You can focus on decisions you want to make with your life. Whether or not you want to get rid of facial hair that makes you feel like shit. Whether or not you want people to call you she, whether that feels good or bad or neutral or just confusing. Whether or not you want to have sex with a particular girl or particular guy.

Sometimes identity level questions are overwhelming or concepts don’t make sense. What is “romantic attraction” and how is it different from liking someone and also possibly wanting to kiss or have sex with them? What does it feel like to be a woman or a man? Some people just know but other people have a hard time with that. Focusing on what you do or don’t want to do can be easier. That’s allowed.

i find it hard to be out as a lesbian and be out as an LGBT supporter when there are people in my age group advocating for the same homophobia that’s always been around. just because it’s hidden with progressive terms and ideals (namely trans rights), it doesn’t make it not homophobia.

like  for real i dont know how much longer i can use social media when  all i ever see is that  people who consider themselves part of the LGBT community think that homosexuals are bad. and it’s always aimed at lesbians, too, and it makes me feel sick.

homosexuality is natural! it isn’t predatory to be gay! i know this! but i keep seeing it. i can’t go into lesbian tags without people telling me I’m a freak and a creep for not being capable of attraction to people with dicks.

i dont get it? like  i know they just wanna support the trans community but it’s possible to do that without suggesting that lesbians all undergo conversion therapy. you can do that without spreading the message that homosexuality is bad. we dont need that again? the gay rights movement did so much and now we’re going back and it makes me want to die 

the other day i was feeling kinda shitty about my appearance but scrolling down tumblr last night and today and seeing pictures of lesbians is so good

like, i keep seeing pictures where i’m like, ‘you look like me? i look… like you?? i look? like a lesbian??? that’s what i look like, i look like a lesbian’

and that makes me so happy. looking like a lesbian can’t possibly be bad because lesbians are incredible and i’m so pleased to be one. so yeah. other ppl’s opinions on how i look aren’t important because i look like a lesbian and i love that and if others don’t i really don’t care.