do you ever think about how important it is that joey and daniel can finally exhibit pda and flirt in joey’s videos and on their social media pages like… they had to hide their relationship for such a long time, like daniel would step out of frame, and joey could only refer to him as his “friend,” the guy that helped him find wolf and storm. like even when he did begin showing up in vlogs, he was just the “roommate” or something. and there might have been a few slip-ups, but they were small, insignicant. not the overt, sweet affection they show now, what was always there but hidden. like they could never really flirt, tease each other, let their happiness shine. and then they made the official video and joey’s vlogs and main vids gradually became more janiel like, even his gaming channel shifted. and it’s so important that it did, not because they should have felt forced to come out, and it sucks that they even had to, but you can tell that they wished they could have earlier. ever since the don’t wait music video, there was something there they would have loved to share with us but… couldn’t. and now, now that they can, you can see it in their faces, their eyes, their cheeks, their smiles. daniel will come up behind joey when he’s vlogging and kiss his cheek, his neck, snuffle into his shoulder, and it’s the simplest touch but it means so much, it’s a confirmation that they’re allowed to be romantic, to show the world how much they adore each other like it’s the most natural thing in the world. yeah, of course daniel’s my boy, i mean, just of course! now, they can compliment each other, call each other handsome, or say he’s my pig, my prince, my big boy. and as it goes on it gets less innocent - comments about butts, teasing each other with not-so-pure pet names, and now in this latest vlog, a solid ass slap and mention of a “romp in the bed.” and every video is better and better, every post. never lewd, but just enough to say, yeah this is how it is. problem? we got glimpses into their life together before, but now with every little flirt, they show us how they love, share it with us because they want to, they’re proud. they consent to sharing their relationship with us, little by little, and they finally can. and i don’t want to oversexualize it or anything, of course not. only admire what they choose to share, what they’re proud of. “happy birthday to my best friend, my love.” it’s sweet and so, so wonderful because they can. they can say that, do that. and that makes us the lucky ones. all of us - them and us. we’re witnessing their friendship, their relationship, their romance, and we’re allowed to. and they seem so happy to share it, to finally, finally share it. in every touch and kiss, his soft eyes, you can see how much daniel loves him, how good joey is for him, how much they fit. and the same goes for joey, of course. he adores daniel, is grateful for him, his kindness and devotion. and he wants to show him off, he always has, but he couldn’t. he couldn’t for such a long time. but now he can. and they do. and it’s perfect and adorable and pure. i just love them a lot and i’m really happy they’re happy, they’re free. idk it’s important, you know? for youtubers and people of cultural significance to break through the heteronormative barriers? and love each other fiercely, freely? consent to what they choose to show us because they want to, because they can? i’m emotional idk
Request from anon: Joey how are you doing ? I really liked the imagine you wrote : is there something on my face. And I’d really like to know if it’s possible for you to continue it. I feel could really find myself in that girl and your writing is amazing. That would make my day ! Love you 😘 and thank u already if you keep writing that short story ♥️ Joey? LOL I kind of got this idea from MMFD
“You’re lying.” Tez voice hushed. “You’ve been dating for a year now and she’s still scared to show you her body? That’s ridiculous.” He says. “What’s the matter? She’s scared you’re going to judge her and break up with her if you don’t like what you see?” J asks. “Now that I think about it,” G says, “I rarely see you touching her sometimes. How often do you touch her body?” He points out. I just overhear Sam sighing. “I touch her body, just in private. Before she used to be scared.. She has lighten up a little but, I don’t know.” “So what, are you losing feeling over this?” Nate asks and I feel my heart beating faster, scared to hear his response. “NO! No! Of course not!” I started breathing again. “I don’t have a problem with it. I just feel like, she’s holding back on something. Something she’s not telling me.” “Maybe she’s just uncomfortable with her body Sam.” I heard Taylor’s voice.
“Taylor!” He says loudly. “Has Y/N ever told you something and told you not to tell me? A secret about her past or something? I don’t know…” “No. Even if she did, I wouldn’t tell you. Because that’s none of my business to tell you. It’s hers. Look, why don’t you just ask her? You guys have been dating for a year now, i’m sure she would tell you if you just ask her.” “Have you noticed she’s been ashamed of her body?” Sam asks her and she sighs, “Yeah. I’ve noticed. I’ve been trying to give her confidence but, things just keep making her shell up more.” “Please, Taylor,” I hear Sam’s voice state in a worried tone, “Please help her be more confident about herself. Help her to love herself. Y/N is a beautiful human being, inside and out. And I’m afraid if she shells in too much, she’ll break, and then she’ll leave me.” “I’ll try.” I hear them get up and hug.
My body that was leaned up against the wall, started sliding down, as I was in front of the house of Hayes and Nate’s. I was supposed to bring them food. And once I arrived, the door was open, but not the screen door. I overheard everything they said. I overheard what Sam is thinking, worrying, scared about. It’s been a little over a year since the coffee shop. We’ve gotten to know each other, a lot. But, I’m still scared about talking to him about certain things, especially about what I love, or feel comfortable in my own skin. I looked through the screen door and saw no one in the living room anymore. I slowly opened the screen door, tip toed in, put the food on the table, and left, going home. Once I got home, I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself, my body.
I inhaled deeply, started taking one piece of clothing off, little by little. Each item taken off, I would stare at myself for a minute, before continuing. My scarf, my jacket, my hoodie, my tee shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror, counting breaths. I took off my jeans, leaving my in my bra and tank top and underwear and spandex. I looked at every single inch of my body. “Love yourself.” I kept whispering to myself, to help convince me to keep going. As soon as I tried to take off my tank top, I looked in the mirror and saw the word, “UGLY” written on it. I blinked a couple times and it disappeared. When I looked up at it again, it said “FAT” I tried shaking it off. “UNWANTED” I started breathing heavy. “STRETCH MARKS” I started backing away from the mirror till I reached the wall in the back, sliding down, tearing running down my face. “I just don’t get it..”
“Y/N?” I heard a voice and knock creak through the door. I just lied still on the bed, as the person walks in, sitting on the bed next to me. “Y/N, it’s Taylor. How are you feeling?” I just mumbled. She starts rubbing my back. “Sam told me you had a freak out last time. Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?” I lied there, scared to talk to her about it because she was one of the most confident person I know. And I absolutely adore her for that. For the past year, she’s been trying to teach me how to be confident, how to love yourself, how to feel comfortable in your own skin. But no matter what, I still can’t. I sat up from the bed, wiping my tears. “Awww, come here baby girl.” She says, throwing her arms around my neck, pulling my into a hug, as I broke down in tears again. “What’s the mater? Tell me what’s wrong, please…” Her voice saddened.
“Taylor, I just don’t get it…” “Get what babe?” She pulls away from me, looking in my eyes. “I don’t get it…” I cried out. “Sam should be dating girls like you, or Stass, or Kylie, or Kendell, or Jordyn or Madison. Someone who’s comfortable in their own freaking skin. Someone who loves the way they look. Who’s confident. Someone who doesn’t hate themselves. Someone who has a better body than I do..” I tried controlling my breathing and the tears from falling. “He doesn’t deserve someone like me..” I cried under my breath. “Hey, look at me.” She grabs my face, and lifts it up to look at her. “But he does deserve someone like you! You are his dream girl. Y/N, listen to me, you are one of the most smartest, funniest, kindest, soft hearted soul I have ever known. Not only that, you are so beautiful. And I hate it when you don’t give yourself enough credit. Do you know how happy you make him? How much the gang loves you?” She wipes my tears away,
“How fucking beautiful you are? I know these past few months I’ve been pushing you to feel comfortable in your skin, to be confident, to love yourself. And I’m sorry for pushing you. Loving yourself takes time. And I should’ve given you time. I should’ve known better than to push someone. So let’s rewind and start over, yeah?” I nod at her. “Let’s start off with something I forgot to do in the beginning because I was too busy wanting to rush it… How did you get this way? And still like this..” She asks, and I started fidgeting. “I promise I won’t tell Sam.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it. I inhaled deeply. “I was always like this. No one taught me to love myself. No one told me I was beautiful. I was always on my own in this world. Against my family, friends, classmates.” I counted my breaths.
“In high school, people stared at me because I didn’t look like the girls in my school.” “What do you mean? You are the perfect size.” “I’m a size 8. Girls at my school were a size 0-2. Boys would always make fun of me. Girls would criticize me in the bathroom. And that was adding after being known as the quiet girl. I was never brave. I couldn’t enjoy what I looked like, when my entire life, I was made fun of what I looked like. Every corner in my life, I was criticized. You guys are the first people who never judged me on my looks. Sam is the first guy to ever give me the time of day like that.” I continued playing with my fingers.
“Fuck. Them.” Taylor says. “Fuck every single person in your life who has ever put you down because you didn’t look a certain fucking way. You are drop dead gorgeous. No one in this world is perfect. Truth be told. Alright?” She tries to lighten up the atmosphere. “You keep comparing yourself to other girls. You keep trying to be like someone you’re not. Stop putting on a mask and this armor and start being yourself. If you’re hurt, show that you’re hurt. Don’t smile and hope it will go away. Don’t let pain take over your life.” “Pain is all I know.. Pain is all I feel..” I said, sniffling. “Let that pain go. Stop that burden from controlling your life.” She moves my hair from covering my face and behind my ear. “You are so beautiful. Whether you believe it or not. We believe it. Every single one of us. And until that day comes where you learn to love yourself, take your time to feel comfortable in your own skin.” “C-can I practice on you…?” I whispered. She nods as I get up from the bed, taking in 3 deep breaths.
I slowly start taking off my clothes. Leaving me in what I left off yesterday. I started hesitating to take off my tank top to just be in my bra, shaking. “Let me help.” A voice right behind me says, having the courage to do what I can’t do. As the tank top came off, my eyes were closed, scared to see their reactions, breaths shaky. I open my eyes, Taylor gone but someone’s hands on my sides, and lips kissing my shoulder. “You are so beautiful.” I heard Sam’s voice whisper. He wraps one arm around my torso, and one arm over my shoulder down my chest, pulling me against his body, as i cried in his arms. “I’m sorry…” I cried out. “No no no no no..” He kisses my head, rocking me side to side, “Don’t be sorry. I’m not mad. Okay? I just want you to feel better about yourself. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready. Please don’t beat yourself up for this, please baby. I love you no matter what. You are so beautiful inside and out, never forget that.” As he kept saying reassuring words to me, I started to relax.
He sat me down on the bed, and squatted in front of me. He grabs my hand in his, looking up at me, “Remember to always love yourself, and to always be yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable, especially when we have a pool day or go to the beach, let. Me. Know. If you are still struggling about feeling comfortable in your own skin, tell. Me. I want to be there for you. Okay? No matter what you’re insecure or scared about. I’m there for you. Okay?” “Okay.” I smile, a couple tears running down my face. “This is a huge step right now. Just being in your bra like this. How do you feel?” I started laughing at myself, wiping the tears, “F-free. Haha.” “Good, that’s good. You don’t have to do this all at once, okay? Taking the rest off. Do it, when you’re ready to show me.” He gets up, hugging me. “It feels nice just being in my bra and spandex.” I told him as he sits next to me. “Good. You look good too.” He winks, making me blush. Taylor comes in through the door, “And when the time comes, in the future, I want to put you on my blog and instagram called the naked diaries. To show the world you’re perfect and beautiful, but human too.” She sits on the other side of me, and hugs me. I feeling of relief went through my body. Because the first step into loving yourself, is to feel loved, just a little bit.
Everything I said in this is so true for those of you who are going through insecurities about their bodies and what they look like. I know it is a tough time. Whether you believe it or not, I believe you are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. For more information on Taylor Giavasis’ body acceptance and naked diaries, check out her instagram and how it inspires people to be comfortable in their own skin. https://www.instagram.com/thenakediaries/
Cry got out the car and stretched. They had just arrived at the cozy Bed and Breakfast he had booked for them. It wasn’t another state over but far enough from most civilization that they wouldn’t have to worry about the regular distraction. All that mattered to him was Joey. He felt bad having him driving all the way here. Hopefully it’ll be worth it. He walked over to Joey’s side. “How do you like it? Pretty cozy right?” He asked moving his hair out of his face. He really needed a hair cut soon.